The Only Tears That Fall Are Red

A/N: I said I'd get this to you guys next week, but I was like, "What the hell, I have nothing better to do...oh wait, guitar, learning to dub dance...I jest guys. You're the biggest and first priority to me:D anyways, here's the finale of Tear's odyssey! Maybe there'll be an epilogue...I don't know yet though, since my last idea got trashed when me and my friends got in a huge argument. I may still do it, but the thought brings much pain to my heart, I told you guys I literally just found out i have abandonment issues, and my friends leaving me was a huge blow. It affected every aspect of my life. Yeah, I realize the Author notes are supposed to be short, but I decided to let you all know why it's taken so long. Anyways, enjoy the conclusion to this shitty-yet-somehow-reader-attracting fic.

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I was in pain, which confused me. 'dying isn't supposed to hurt...is it?'. I shook the feeling, obviously I wasn't dead, what the buck was I thinking? My thoughts were clouded, and I couldn't regain full control of my body. I was spazzing my legs, bucking around. In my head was a living hell, my memories flashing before my eyes. I saw me and rampage as young colts, playing with each other. Rampage would create balls of gems, and throw them up in the air, only to have them caught by me.

Tears ran down my face. Why couldn't life be like it was? I couldn't stop my crying, I wanted to die. I wanted to leave my personal hell, and join the universal one. Rampage left me for a reason, the other ponies treated me like shit for a reason. I was different, strange.

The pony nopony would talk to, because of my awkwardness. I was full blown sobbing, still trapped inside my mental cage, not able to wake up. I didn't want to, of course, but I was jolted from my thoughts by the feel of a hoof slapping me. My eyes fluttered open, full of tears. My chest...hurt like a bitch. I looked down to find it bandaged, yet blood stained. I hadn't killed myself...I was too much of a fucking pussy to finish the job.

"RED! Snap the fuck out of it!" the voice was feminine, strangely. I chuckled bitterly. I took a look around. I was still in the forest, with a random filly.

'A filly talks to me finally, all I had to do was almost kill myself!' I thought, laughing like a maniac, yet snapped back to my senses. I felt hooves on me, but I slapped them away. I was infuriated. How dare anypony actually act like they give a fuck when they don't?

"KEEP YOUR FUCKING HOOVES OFF ME! YOU THINK YOU DID ME A FAVOR BY SAVING ME!? WHAT IF I WANTED TO DIE?!" I was screaming at a filly, but I truly didn't give a shit. Right after I finished my sentence I realized who it was that I was yelling at. Through my purple eyes tinged with tears, I recognized this unicorn. Blue and black coat, with a brown mane and the ice blue eyes, clear as a glacier. It was-

'Rampage's mare friend! What the fuck?!?' I yelled again,

Clairvoyant Dusk quietly, yet steadily.

"I can read your thoughts, Red. No need to hide them from me."

At this point, my mind was running amok like a Wonderbolt member on crack. A million thoughts were racing through my brain, ranging from "Why would she help me?" to "When did she get so hot?" I became self-conscious of what I was thinking, and blushed.

'THINKOFSOMETHINGELSETHINKOFSOMETHINGELSE!' I thought desperately. I did NOT have feelings for this mare, she was just another pony who never tried to help. I broke down crying, and tried to stumble away.

My nose was filled with the smell of sap from the trees and the stench of iron from my open wound. Clairvoyant held me back, and I struggled against her. My muscles strained, my tears flowed, and my will broke. I fell crying to the forest floor. The various pieces of trees on the ground make my wounds hurt, and I hated it. Not because of the pain, but because it was a reminder that I still existed in this world. I wanted to be dead, not alive.

 I felt hooves hold me, comfort me. I didn't WANT to be comforted, why didn't she fucking get it?! I picked my sorry flank off the forest floor and took flight, blood still streaming from my chest. I didn't look back, and I know she was reading my thoughts, again though, I didn't care. I spun through the forest, dodging branches, swerving around trees. I loved the feeling of the wind in my wings, but I was too desperate to get home. I exited the forest flying faster than I had ever flown before. While I was flying though, an epiphany hit me, so sudden that I gasped, and sent myself crashing to the ground again. I didn't feel the impact, I got up and had my mind set.

'Every pony wants me dead, and I've been wallowing in self-pity this entire time. NO MORE! I will show them I'm not the pony that can be bossed around! I will mend my friendship with Rampage!' I thought excitedly. I will show them! I can show them! Yes!

Again, I lifted off the ground after a galloping start to gain speed. I had my mind set. Rampage had to be talked to, I had to figure out why he's doing what he's doing! I flew towards my house only long enough to dash inside and bandage myself up. I reeked of forest and blood, but I didn't care. I didn't care I left my guitar in the forest either. After I was done at my house, I darted out before my parents could ask questions. They didn't need to know...yet. Rampage's house was on the other side of Ponyville, a big, white, almost Canterlot-quality house. His parents both had good jobs, and they both were well off. I felt a tinge of jealousy as I trotted up to the door.

*knock knock*

I waited, and soon Rampage opened the door. He looked sad, but when he saw my face, his expression changed to one I never saw on his face; happiness.

"Why hello there, Tear. What brings you here?" He looked genuinely happy to see me.

'When did this start?' I wondered. Why was every pony all of the sudden being nice to me?

"Rampage, we need to talk" I stated plainly. Rampage nodded.

"Yeah....Red, I'm sorry. I've been a dick, and the only reason why is because every pony else doesn't like you. Sure, you irk me in the wrong way sometimes, but I ignored your pain, and I'm sorry" I took a step back, flabbergasted that he even apologized.  It wasn't like him.

"I have something to tell you, Rampage" I told him about me almost killing myself, Dusk taking care of me, me flipping out at her. I started crying when I got to the part where I screamed at Dusk. Rampage looked indifferent, but had worry in his eyes. He worried for Dusk, he worried for me, yet he just stood there. I knew I needed to go, so I crept away, not wanting to draw attention. It was getting late, and I started galloping home. I didn't want to fly, too many ponies would see my scars...

'FUCK!' I thought, almost running into a couple of earth ponies. I hurried along, not even bothering to apologize. I got to my house, and went inside. There was a letter on the table addressed to me. So I opened it and read:

"Dear Red Tear,

You have been accepted at FillyDelphia Academy of Fine Arts, and are scheduled to start next week. We await your reply, and here's a list of supplies that you will need."

A list of items followed. Your usual notebooks, pencils, etc.  then I noticed that it said uniforms. We got to wear clothes? YEAH! That part made me smile. I didn't need to show my scars at my new school, and I won't be made fun of for wearing clothes!

My parents were calling me from the other room:

"Tear? Is that you?" My mom's voice called. I bit my lip. This couldn't be good. I trotted into the room, and saw both my parents, sitting on a couch.

'Fuck, my dad's sober. Something happened, could they have been told about what happened at school?'

My dad was the first to address me,

"Tear, tell us what the fuck was going through your head when you did that to Rampage". He showed no signs of trying to hide his anger.

'Fuck' I thought, defeated. Might as well tell them. I took a deep breath an told them about everything but the cutting. They didn't need to know about that. After I was done, both my parents had on serious expressions. My mom spoke up:

"Tear, we love you, and we want the best for you. That's why we're moving you to a FillyDelphian  school. It's a chance to start over, to remake those friendships, or try and gain some."

I listened to their whole speech on why it was best for me to move, and my mind wandered to Dusk. Why did she help me? I shrugged mentally. I didn't care, I had no feelings for her, and she has Rampage. No reason to keep dwelling on that subject.

After a lot of "yes" and "no" answers to my parents, they let me go. I went upstairs and threw myself onto my bed. I was DONE! I was going to leave this shit behind! Leave this hell! I was more happy than I'd been in years. New ponies, new friends. I could forget about the ponies here!

I carried on the weekend as normal, even talked to Dusk about me leaving. She was devastated, and broke down crying. I comforted her, assured her she'd be ok. I couldn't do anything for her, and that was something I couldn't change.

My last day at Ponyville's school was a damn bad one, maybe my days in FillyDelphia Academy would be better. I spent the rest of the day wandering around, buying snacks from Pinkie Pie, even flying once in awhile, when I was sure nopony was watching. After it got dark, I went home, crawled into bed, and pondered my plan for the coming years.

'Tomorrow is the start of a new life. A new me. I WILL be different at this next school! ' I assured myself. 'I won't be the one who lurks in the shadows anymore! I'll stand up for myself, and make friends. I'm leaving this hellhole!'

I lied away for awhile, and when I finally slept, I woke up to a new world. One that I could make accept me. I got up, smelt the morning air, the dew, everything. Then took a shower, got ready, and flew out to meet my future. Life had given me a new hand, a new set of cards to bet on, and I wasn't going to waste it.

*******

Take a step back, listeners to my story, Red Tear's story. My life at Ponyville was not the best, not at all. My story for you ends here, I applaud you all for listening to the story of an madpony, one who is most insane. Give yourself a hoof. You survived my story. The only reason I recorded this was to make sure I never forgot what happened.

The moral is: don't let yourself follow the same hoof steps as me. Show the world that you hate it, that you'll do anything to defy it. If life puts you down and wants you to die, LIVE! Make life your bitch! Until next time,

-Tear

*****preview of epilogue****

I closed the notebook, and turned back to face my room. My new room, my new house. Dad's job pays well, and my new room is now twice as big as it was. I stared around the pristine space, which smelt of...well....me. I ditched the knives, the cutting had stopped. I found other ways to unleash my anger. Writing, boxing, playing my guitar. I had been going to FillyDelphia Academy now for about a year and a half. I was 14 now, a new pony altogether. I trotted over to the bed and laid down.

'Time to go to bed. Have to wake up early to go to FillyDelphia. That distance is a bitch to fly' I smiled to myself. Life presented me a bull, and I'm grabbing it by the horns' I thought, and a quote from Applejack popped into my head:

"if you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a wild ride!" Her voice rang in my head.

'Heh....your words ring true, AJ' I started thinking aloud, preparing myself mentally for the times to come:

"The only thing left for me now is make the ponies at school not hate me as much" I laughed to myself. My days in FillyDelphia were a mixture of heaven and hell. I laid down, and stared at my ceiling until I fell asleep, resting up to tackle yet another day in my life. My friends would be waiting tomorrow, as would be new challenges for me to engage.

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A/N: this is the final main chapter of Tear's story. There WILL be an epilogue, though a very short one. I truly don't know if I'm going to write any more stories with Tear in them. To everybody who reads this, I love you all! I truly do! You all drive me, thank you. My personal advice to everyone of you: go read something worth your time. My stories are amateur, you deserve something better. I suggest "Back in Time" by Nygumi, or "League of Bronies" by dark iron pony.

P.S: Relating my life to this story, I have something to tell you all, If you haven't already figured it out. Yes, this is more or less an autobiography of the worst part of my life up to this point. I wrote the story because I thought it'd be fun, and because it'd help me get rid of my skeletons in my closet. Lo and behold, it did! All this stuff in the story did happen to me, even the part of Red trying to kill himself. Yeah, I realized it was a dumb idea, and I stopped with all that emo shit. Red Tear still lives on in me though, as part of my personality. He's the defensive and emotionally unstable me. Strangely, whilst I was writing this story, that side of me was shown more often for some reason. Apparently

thinking back unearthed him again.

All of you who read this for sheer enjoyment, good job. Those who read it and realized it was a part of my life and CONTINUED to read it, thank you. I didn't write this to say, "OHHHH nooooo, my life sucked shit! It's so horrible!", HEYUL TO

THE NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M SAYING! I wrote this for the sheer enjoyment of writing a story close to me and

a more down-to-earth story than my other one. My life was pretty bad, and I actually developed several issues after that part of it. Trust issues, abandonment issues, depression. All of those, which I still have, remind me of what happened, and have brought me to be the person I am today. Enough of my rambling, my message to you all: conquer whatever shit hits your fan, hold your friends up, but also make sure to hold yourself up. I always forget to do the

last part ^^'.

Rampage, signing out.

out.

Broneyofnoel signing in, time for me to say something...

To all of the people currently contemplating suicide, to all the people who are confused about themselves, to all the people who are going through hell, you just need to know three things.

1. Don’t do anything you’ll regret, trust me, i know what that’s like.

2. It gets better.

3.No matter what, or who you are, you have people who love you, people who haven’t met you yet.