Ghoulies, Ghosties and Beasties!
*short giggle* Hi there everypony! King Spooky here! As its almost Nightmare Night I'm going to rate my top ten favorite ghoulies, ghosties and beasties that go bump in the night! Ranking from Least Scary to Most Scary!
Number 10! Jason!
What's so scary about a large man going around slashing teen ponies with a large cake knife? All this guys got going for him is some spoooooky background noise and a few forest chase scenes! The only reason Vorhooves is on this list is he's a legend in his own right with his own franchise. And my favorite scene is in Vorhooves In Space when he kills the two teen mares in that simuation! I love the line "Woah, he's good." * Giggles* Silly computer lady!
Number 9! Chucky
Why doesn't everypony just drop the cursed doll down a big firey furnace? Because ponies in scary movies are STUPID! They also go UP where in a house there's always tiny hiding places for a colts doll like Chucky to hide and attack you! They should be racing out the front door! But Noooo, they just run up or down stairs like big silly willies!
Number 8: Werewolves
Werewolves are only scary when they give up on their ponyselves and become brutal killers. This condition is completely livable with. If werewolves ever exist all we need is a facility where ALL wolves report too when the full moon comes where they can be monitored and taken care off until the moon wanes again and it needs to be covered by Health Insurance! Because it is a medical condition!
Number 7: Infected (28 days later)
Their NOT ZOMBIES! Zombies actually are physically dead corpses that come back to life and attack the living! The Infected are living breathing ponies infected with the Rage virus that makes them physically aggressive on a massive scale! The proof that they aren't Zombies is that they STARVED TO DEATH! That's why they aren't zombies! Zombies are already dead. Like Mummies!
6: Predator
What's not scary about a tall, dark and ugly alien beasty with acidic green blood? This creatures appearance alone will guarantee to frighten any little ones your taking to see their first scary movie at the multiplex in Canterlot. Not to mention its mouth within a mouth within a tongue! *King Shivers* That's why I only saw Predator once! One lecture from Princess Luna was bad enough!
5: Vampires
Not those lame ass sparkly vamponies from Twilight. Actual Vampires are terrifying undead ghoulies that feast on the blood of living ponies by night. Not to worry though, as long as you refrain from inviting ponies in after dark, you'll be safe. And as long as you carry a cross, wooden stake and holy water, you'll be fine. (No garlic, it only makes them angry)
Now we come to a different part of the list, top 4! OOOOOOOOOooooooo
4. Slendermane
All that's scary about Slendermane is that he sneaks up on you after terrifying you with mysterious letters found in a foresty area. JUST AVOID forests! Still the Slendermane game is genuinely scary so kudos to its creators for scaring the fur off of everypony whose played it. And I mean EVERYPONY whose played it. *Whispers* Me too!
3. Walkers (Zombies)
A single zombie is terrifying enough, but get enough in a hoard after YOU? Your dead. Juat ask Glen(Author's Note)! When your bitten that's it, its over for you. One bite or scratch and your chowing down on neighbors, family, friends, possibly aware only to be begging for someone to put you out of your misery. That's why Zombies are number three!
2. Headless Horsepony
This Equestrian Legend has terrorized foals on Nightmare Night (And a few grown ups) for generations! But there is n scarier monster on nightmare night than a headless pony looking to take anyonies head as his own!
1. Angelus
Perhaps the most iconic vampony bad guy EVER! The sociopathic, obsession prone Angelus made his debut in Buffy in season two and wormed his fangy way into our hearts as the most beloved vampony bad guy EVER! Even Spike (Not to be confused with Princess Twilight's Personal Assisstant Spike the Dragon) couldn't hold a candle to Angelus's level of evil. His backstory is superbly dark and explored more in his follow up series "Angel" His darkliness is every bit as scary as any baddest vampony in history (Including the one and only The MASTER) Turned by sire Darla in the late 1700s, Angelus began his scaring of Europe and quickly rose through the ranks as a Master vampire. The Master was fond of him saying he was the most vicious creature he'd ever met. But his sociopathic and obsessive tendancies are what made him extremely terrifying while as most vampires killed to feed or for some mystical purpose on Buffy, Angelus reveled in the pleasure he found in taking a life which makes him truly terrifying.
Honourable mention! Freddy!
This burned to a crisp stallion in feora and sweater ALMOST made it onto my list. But only Luna has complete territorial control of dream land. So that's a no go siree area for me!
So there you have it folks! Sayonara, so long fare well, avetazein, goodbye! King Spooky out!
Excerpt from Equestria Scare Masters Monthly magazine
Pinke Pie jumped giddily as she finished her article for her Scare enthusiasts magazine and sent it off to her editor under her pseudonym "King Spook." A rather famous scary story author. Then she went to her typewriter.
"Scary stuff Scary stuff Scary stuff DING!" She said as the typewriter dinged. "Scary stuff Scary stuff Scary stuff Ding!" She giggled again. This would be her scariest book yet! "Scary stuff Scary stuff Scary stuff Ding! Lunch!" She said finally finishing the last page of her latest novel. How else could she afford to throw those fantabulous parties?!
Nopony ever figured out just who King Spooky really was. Not even his publishers. Pinkie Pie managed to keep her secret (FOREVER!)
The End
