My Queen

by Robo Bro

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Changelings, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Human
Length: 1493

David Sharp, member of the band "Raging Incubus", wakes up, downs a can of beer, and finds a bug-horse monstrosity in his kitchen that insists on calling him his "Queen".

David Sharp, member of the band "Raging Incubus", wakes up, downs a can of beer, and finds a bug-horse monstrosity in his kitchen that insists on calling him his "Queen".

Rated Teen because of some alcohol being involved and a couple mild swears. I don't think that it would be harmful to younger readers or anything, but better safe than sorry.

Published 2015-10-27 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-27 18:40:02 UTC

Chapter 1

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

David Sharp smacked his alarm clock to shut it up. From his face down position in his drool soaked pillow he groaned. Through yet still sleepy eyes, he glared at the face of his clock. Seven thirty AM. Too damn early for how late he had stayed up the previous night, but he had rented a place for his band, Raging Incubus, to rehearse at eight thirty this morning and he wasn’t going to let the money go to waste. They weren’t very popular yet, and that wasn’t going to change if they didn’t take their jamming sessions seriously.

It used to be that he and his mates would just practice in the basement of David’s house, but recently his roommates had put a halt to that. Who knew that carving your band logo into the wall and making a matching costume set for your group out of your roommates’ bedding in a fit of drunken inspiration one time would get the band banned from the house? David got his revenge for the banishment, though. The next night he had glued both of his roommates’ sleeping bags to the ceiling. They were still trying to figure out how he had managed to do so while they were still in them.

Grinning at the memory of their terror when they woke up, David looked again at his clock. Seven forty. He really didn’t have much more time to waste in bed. Much to his body’s protest, he threw off the covers and rolled over onto his back only to find there wasn’t any bed in the direction he was rolling. There’s nothing like the pain of a two foot fall to your bedroom floor to fully wake you up and remind you just how stupid you are when you’re still half asleep.

Rubbing various sore spots, David got to his feet, threw on the clothes he had left lying atop his nightstand and proceeded out of his room and into the kitchen. He opened the fridge intending to grab a carton of orange juice, but found his eyes drifting towards the glint of metal inside the half empty cardboard case of beer. Shrugging, he pulled out a can from the box, shutting the fridge behind him and enjoyed the satisfying crack and hiss of opening it up. He took a deep swig, closing his eyes so as to focus better on the taste and feel of the golden brew flowing over his tongue and down his throat. It may have been cheap crap that he only bought because it was all he could afford, but at this moment it was the elixir of gods.

With a sigh of contentment, David placed the now empty can on the counter beside the sink with a clunk. He turned around with the intent of going to the living room to grab his guitar but froze in place.

Standing right in the middle of his kitchen was some sort of weird, short, blue eyed, gossamer winged, black bug-horse thing with holes in its limbs. The two just stared at each other for a moment, one in slack jawed surprise and the other with wide eyed anticipation. David turned to the can on the counter and then back to the bug-horse.

“Mum was right. Booze has made me go mad.” David mumbled to himself. He was not looking forward to the inevitable ‘I told you so’ coming his way.

“What’s that, my Queen?” The bug-horse thing tilted its head as it spoke. Its voice was actually pretty cool, layered and stuff. It’d probably sound awesome in a song.

“Queen is awesome. And dead. And I’m not Queen.” David responded absently while contemplating how difficult it would be to hide his new psychosis from the world. Maybe if he was lucky he could use it to write some amazing songs.

“I don’t understand. You are my Queen.” The thing scrunched up its little buggy face. The two of them blinked at each other a few more times.

“I’m talking with my hallucination, and it’s calling me a queen. What does that say about my subconscious?”

“Are you okay, my Queen? You seem a little uneasy.”

“Well, at least you’re a considerate hallucination.”

“I always have been. Is something wrong?” The bug thing prodded with concern.

“So you admit you’re a hallucination!” David pointed a finger at the creature triumphantly.

“Well, Hallucination is my name. I’m not sure what you’re getting at.” He responded uncertainly, tensing up. David’s arm dropped back to his side limply.

“My hallucination is named....Hallucination.” David began to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

“Oh good, you’re laughing. I was worried that you were angry with me.” Hallucination visibly relaxed.

“No, I think I’m too amused to be angry. There’s not much point in getting angry at a hallucination, right?”

“I’m glad you think so, my Queen.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Pardon?”

“You keep calling me ‘Queen’. I’m not a queen. Last I checked I’m not even the right gender.” David pulled at the waist of his jeans and looked at what lay beneath. “Yup. Still a guy.”

The little creature giggled at his words. “Very funny, my Queen. You’re obviously in disguise.”

“I don’t know of many disguises that can get a black, bug-horse thing to look like a human.”

“Sure you do!”

Hallucination suddenly caught fire, green flames licking over him and the floor where he stood. Only thinking that his roommates would kill him for burning a hole into the kitchen floor, David leapt forward in a panic and reached for the thing that threatened the floor’s sense of wholeness. Contrary to what his mind knew should be happening to a guy that just grabbed onto a burning entity with his bare hands, he found that he was not in any pain from doing so. To his even greater shock, he was now embracing a mirror image of himself.

“Tada!” Hallucination realized he was being embraced by his ‘Queen’ and blushed. “Oh... umm.... I didn’t realize you liked me this way. I don’t think this is appropriate, what would the hive say?”

“AHHHHHH!” David jumped back from his sudden doppelganger screaming. He tripped and fell backwards, hitting his head on the counter and blacking out.

-Moments Later-

“My Queen, are you okay? You hit your head awfully hard.” Hallucination hovered in the air above his Queen.

“Ugh....I’m fine." David responded in a voice much akin to Hallucination's. "Wait, what’s wrong with my voice?”

David opened his eyes and looked down upon ‘his’ body. In place of the usual somewhat peachy coloured limbs and various fabrics that were his clothes was black, chitinous skin, four long legs ending in hooves and filled with holes. A large muzzle filled his view where his nose should have been and a bit of greenish blue hair was visible just out of the corner of his eye.

David and Hallucination stared at each other for awhile in silence.

“I think I understand now. I’m still dreaming! My alarm hasn’t even really gone off yet! I’m going to wake up any moment now and go play with my band mates!”

“This isn’t a dream, my Queen.” Hallucination argued.

“Sure it is! If it wasn’t, this would hurt!” David lifted a forehoof.

“Uhh.....you really shouldn’t-" his objections were interrupted by the loud crack of a hoof meeting face, “nevermind.”

Blackness greeted David for the second time that day.

-Many Moments Later-

“The patient’s vitals appear to be stable. I think the danger has passed.”

“Yes, doctor.”

The voices of strangers woke David up, one masculine and the other feminine. Other than the voices, the first thing he noticed was that he had a splitting headache. The second thing was the overly sanitized scent of a hospital.

“It appears the patient is waking up. How are you feeling?” An elderly doctor hovered over David, fortunately not literally. Off to his side was a nurse writing something down on a clipboard. David groaned.

“What happened?” He croaked, noting quite happily that he was his normal human self.

“You consumed some contaminated alcohol and it caused some hallucinations and blackouts. Don’t worry, we’ve removed it from your system so you’ll make a full recovery.” The doctor explained. David laughed weakly. It had just been a bit of bad beer. He wasn’t crazy.

“Thank you, doctor.” He sighed in relief.

“Think nothing of it, I’m glad to help my Queen. Now try to get some rest, you need it.”

The two medical staff exited the room, leaving David to whimper in solitude.

Author's Note

Just a silly little story I wrote as a random idea entered my mind awhile back. I had left it sitting around on my computer collecting metaphorical dust but finally decided to post it here.

Hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, well, at least it's short.