Rainbow Pie

Rainbow Dash stepped off the train. The afternoon sun hung low in the sky. The others had left the previous night "to get things ready". Dash knew what they were up to. A 'Welcome Home' party, no doubt. Dash knew they would expect her to stop by Sugarcube Corner first thing to see Pinkie. Normally, she would, too. But not today. She didn't feel like a party. "What the hell is there to celebrate?" she muttered under her breath, kicking idly at a stone in the road. She passed below her own house, noticing that a ladder had been hung down from the cloud that was her porch. She snorted. Who ever heard of a pegasus needing a ladder? She trudged on, annoyed at having to walk, not noticing where her hooves were taking her. At length, she looked up, her eyes falling on an entranceway with swinging double doors. The sign read: 'The Thirsty Pony' Perfect, she thought, as she stepped inside, I could use a drink. Or two. Or, well, a lot.'

At Sugarcube Corner Applejack glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been nearly three hours now since Dash's train had come in. "Ah don't think she's comin', sugarcube." she stated as gently as she could.

"Oh, don't worry. She'll be here. She has to come - that's why we're throwing this super-extra-special welcome home party, right?" Pinkie bubbled, trying to hide the fact that she, too, was becoming a little unsure. Many guests had already gotten tired of waiting and left. Big Macintosh had taken Applebloom home and Rarity had left with Sweetie Belle and a very reluctant Scootaloo. The other guests were milling around, making small talk, and glancing at the clock every so often.

"Look," Twilight broke in, "I'm just... I'm not so sure..."

Before she could finish, Pinkie interrupted, her Pinkie-sense going off. "Oooh, ear-flop/eye flutter/knee-twitch."

"DOOR!" said Applejack, Twilight, and Fluttershy all at once.

Suddenly the door swung open with a loud 'BANG'. Standing there, a half-empty bottle of rum in her hoof, was Rainbow Dash, completely, utterly, and thoroughly smashed.

"You poniesh wanna party? Lessh PARTY!" she shouted.

The guests who had been milling about gasped in shock as the innebriated guest of honor made her entrance.

Fluttershy let out a yelp and hid behind a table while Twilight buried her face in her hoof and groaned.

"Sweet Celestia," murmured Applejack. "she's done got hammered outta her mind."

Only Pinkie seemed oblivious. "Dashie! You made it." she enthused, bouncing over towards her.

"Coursh I did, sweetflanksh.", Dash replied, grabbing her lover and giving her a passionate kiss, "You didn't think I wash gonna pish my own marty, didja?"

The guests continued to stare at the scene Dash was making, flabbergasted. Dash suddenly noticed that everyone was just standing and staring. She frowned. "Wadder you all shtanding around for? Thish ish a PARTY, damnit." She walked over to a portable boombox on the counter, and inserted a CD labeled "Best of 80s Mane Metal", and cranked it up to 11. "I SHAID LESSH PARTY!" she shouted, taking a long swig from the bottle she was still holding as the music began blaring.

It was at this point that Pinkie began to get the slightist inkling that something was quite wrong with her beloved Dashie. "Umm.. Dashie." she said, shouting to be heard above the din. "Don't you think its just a teensey-eensey-weensey bit loud?"

"Loud? Naw, ish perfechsh. C'mon, lesh dansh." Dash replied, grabbing Pinkie and stumbling around awkwardly in an approximation of something that could only loosly be called 'dancing'.

The few remaining guests nervously shuffled out one by one, leaving only the five friends. Luckily, Mr. And Mrs. Cake were out of town. They would have been horrified at the goings-on.

As they fumbled across the room, Pinkie grew increasingly concerned. "Dashie, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good."

Dash's face turned green as she released Pinkie and stumbled away. "Jush a little tummyachsh." She promptly turned, vomited into the nearby punch bowl, and collapsed face-first in the resultant mess.

Dash groaned, shielding her eyes from the harsh sunlight that poured in through the window. Slowly she got up and made her way over to the door of the room she was in, vaguely wondering where exactly she was. Her head felt like dragons were stomping on it and her whole body ached. She stepped through the door and found herself in Ponyville's library.

Twilight raised her head up from the book she was reading. "Oh, good. You're awake." she said in a sharpish tone.

Twilight's voice seemed like thunder. "Owww. No need to shout, Twi."

"I'm not shouting." she calmly replied. "Not so much fun the next day, is it?"

"Ugh. How did I get here? Last thing I remember was leaving The Thirsty Pony."

Twilight frowned. "You really don't remember, do you? Well let me fill you in on just how big of an ass you made of yourself last night."

As Twilight recounted the details of the previous evening's buffoonery, ending with Dash's passing out and being carried off to the Twilight's guest room, Dash could only hang her head in shame. "Geez, Twi, I guess I really fucked things up. I'm sorry."

"It's not me you need to apologize to. Pinkie worked really hard on that party."

"Yea, I guess you're right." Dash got up, and started for the door.

"Dash wait," called Twilight, stopping her. "You really should go clean up first, you look awful."

As Dash washed her face up and straightened her mane, Twilight continued: "Look, Dash. Sorry if I came off a little harsh. It's just that, well, you really worried us. I know you're upset about your condition but you can't solve your problems at The Thirsty Pony. That road is just going to make things worse."

"I know, I know. Things just got a little out of hoof yesterday. I think it was the ladder to my house that really set me off."

"I know this is a hard time for you, Dash, but just remember, we're all here for you."

Thoroughly cleaned up, Dash headed for the door. "I will. I promise. Well, I guess I'd better head over to Sugarcube Corner." Then, turning around as she left, she added "Oh, and Twi? Thanks."

'Ding-a-ling' the bell tinkled as the door to Sugarcube Corner opened. Pinkie looked up. "Welcome to..." she stopped, breaking into a big smile as she noticed who it was. "Dashie! Oh, good. Are you feeling all better now?" she inquired, coming around the counter

"Yea. Well, mostly. Look, Pinks, about last night..."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Dashie. I know you were sick. That juice you were drinking must have gone bad. It smelled awful."

"I just wanted to say how sorry... Wait what?"

"That bottle of juice you had, silly. After we got you over to Twilight's, I remembered that bottle you had. I went and got it and when I sniffed it, it smelled like it had gone bad. So I took it to Twilight to see if she might be able to use it to figure out how to make you un-sick."

"Umm... right." Dash agreed. Bad juice?, she thought, incredulously. Pinkie's as old as me and she doesn't even know what alcohol is? Sheesh. Shaking her head quickly, she continued, "Anyway, I still feel bad about it. I know you worked hard on that party."

"Oh don't worry about it, Dashie. We'll just have to have another one to make up for it."

"You bet we will, Pinks."

Dash spent the better part of the day hanging out with Pinkie and just idling around Ponyville. She was feeling somewhat better as she got to her house. Arriving , she stretched her wings and attempted to fly, but froze up again. With a sigh, she ascended the ladder.

She had great difficulty getting her door open, and when she finally did, she could see why. Three month's worth of mail was piled behind her door. Not for the first time she pondered getting rid of the door slot and just getting a mailbox. She sighed again and began sorting through the massive stack.

"Lessee ... junk, junk, bill, junk, get-well card, bill, another card, Playpony, junk, junk..."

About an hour and a half later, everything was sorted. She threw the junk away and examined what was left: A huge stack of get-well cards, three issues of Playpony, and a good dozen or so bills. She started going through the bills. Halfway through, she frowned as it suddenly dawned on her that, now that she was unable to fly, she couldn't keep working with the weather service. She was going to need a new job. But for the life of her she couldn't figure out what. Her biggest skill had always been flying. She didn't really know how to do any other jobs. Feeling her frustration mounting, she glanced towards a small wooden cabinet in the corner, all her earlier promises already fading into oblivion. She needed a drink...