Rainbow Dash's Excellent Adventure
An Excellent Adventure Indeed
It was a normal day and Rainbow Dash was walking though the field. Not flying, because that makes sense. any way, she was walking through the field, and all of a sudden Scootaloo comes up to her.
"Hiya Rain-bew Dish, how's it gewing?" She said while humping her idol's leg affectionately
"I was doing a lot better before you showed up, you filthy, honey filled cunt" she exclaimed while bucking her off. I think now is a good time to explain that this is not sexual, for Scootaloo is just a kid and Rainbow Dash is nor a pedophile. Instead, this was actually a buck, kind of like what Applejack does but not quite, because Applejack is an asshole.
"Ow Rensco Nesh, that hurt. My parents are dead" a tear rolled down her cheek, but just one because Scootaloo was a tomboy and emotions were for fucking pussies.
The rainbow colored fuck looked down at the pathetic pile of wasted maggot food that was Scootaloo "Good"
"Oh Rambo Splash, how could you?" despite the tomboyness of Scootaloo, this was enough to make her run off crying. Rainbow Dash was the only one that she told, hoping that she would find comfort in her idol. But no, Rainbow Dashed those dreams down. Don't you get it? It's like her name. HA!
Looking at her ex-number-1 fan running into the distance she could feel a tug on her heartstrings. "What have I done?" she said to herself. She didn't cry though, because Rainbow Dash is a grownup, not like little bitch Scootaloo.
Because of her bad feelings she knew that she had to do one thing. She needed to visit Pinkie Pie to see how to make Scootaloo feel better.
So she went to Sugercube corner in the hopes that Pinkie Pie, lord of parties, would be able to assist her.
"Oh Dashie you're horrible" Pinkie shouted at the rainbow maned Pegasus for being a bad girl.
"I Know" Rainbow Dash said, holding back tears and keeping her emotions from Pinkie. "Listen, I know I messed up more than that time Twilight slipped on a banana peel and sodomized Spike, and I feel bad." She paused "Maybe we can bake a cake and make it better"
Pinkie Pie, being a fuckball of sugar, thought it would be a great idea, but first they'd need some extra special ingredients "Okay, so we need special things for this cake. So special that it'll make boners explode just with the thought of it."
Rainbow Dash's ears perked up and nipples got hard when she heard this. In all actuality they did not get hard though because ponies don't have nipples. "Really? What does it need?"
"Well" the pink shit head started "First we need some essence of piss, the pure concentrate of dick liquid in it's most volatile form. Twilight might be able to help you find it."
"That's disgusting you mucus covered vagina slot" The blue one said in disgust.
"But when we mix it with the other ingredients it will be fine and the poison will be cooked out."
"Okay"
"And then we need a live, active Fuck, this one will be hard to find, and then we need to find something to mix it in."
"Tat shouldn't be hard at all" Rainbow Dash while darting out the window, sending glass shards everywhere, except they didn't hurt her because she was going too fast. If she was a guy her dick would have hit the window frame too because she just grazed the bottom of it, thank heaves the is just a pony though, they don't have dicks.
First she started to go towards the Library to visit Twilight. When she got there she spotted spike standing outside of the door and it looked like he was trying to get in.
"Hey fuck face!" Rainbow Dash yelled. No one likes Spike "I need to see Twilight, where is she?"
"The miserable, pathetic dragon looked up at her "She went to Canterlot for the day to talk to the princesses and she forgot to unlock the door."
"Oh, I'm sorry" Rainbow Dash felt bad for calling him a fuck face now, but he was just so un likable. "Listen, do you know what the essence of piss is?"
Spike looked up with hope in his eyes. This could be his chance to make friend if he helped "Yeah, we have some inside. I can find it for you. I'll have to break down the door, but it will be worth it to help."
With all of his might he charged up an awesome punch. He struck the door, but the door struck back, shattering all the bones in his hand and his arm, causing bone shards to be sticking out of his limb.
"Wow" Rainbow Dash said "You're such a bitch, just tell Twilight to have it ready for me. I'll stop by later."
Spike just sat there crying. What a horrible fuck.
"Now" she said to us "where do I find an active fuck? Maybe Zecora knows where I can find a fuck, she's good with that weird stuff like that."
So she flew to the Everfree forest where Zecora lived. It was scary, but it didn't matter, Rainbow Dash was the element of Loyalty and didn't care about the potential of butt fuckery that lied ahead if she was helping a friend. that was the good thing about RD, she was always so helpful.
When she got to Zecora's house, she noticed that there was another stallion there. Upon closer inspection it was an Alicorn. He was dark blue with a white mane and zebra stripes. She tried to get away without being noticed by the two, but it was too late, she was spotted.
"Come now child, you are here for a reason no? I don't get many visitors so it must be so."
"Oh, hey Zecora. I need an active fuck"
The Zebra nodded "Why must you need one so urgently? The situation seems dire, so please inform me."
"Well, I called Scootaloo a honey cunt and laughed at her parents being dead pretty much, so no she's sad and I need to bake a cake."
The Zebra nodded again. She didn't feel like talking and to be honest I don't feel like coming up with rhymes. She took out a bottle that said fuck and was filled with a warm blue liquid. Yeah, I think the color of fuck is blue.
'Thanks Zecora, you're not a bitch like every one thinks after all." and with that she left.
The Alicorn only spoke once she was out of earshot "Seriously, how did this get past moderation?"
Now back to Rainbow Dash. "Hmm, before I head back to see Twilight I need to get something to mix this in." She pondered for a second "I know! I'll dig up one of Scootaloo's parent's skulls and use that to mix the ingredients with!" With the thought in her mind she zoomed off to the Ponyville cemetery and dug up Scootaloo's dad's skull. It was okay, because she told the graveyard keeper her story and he understood.
"This will show Scootafuckingloo that her parents still love her even though they don't have skin any more."
She was about to head back to Sugercube Corner when she realized that she had to get the essence of piss from Twilight. She flew as fast as she could, barely containing her excitement. If she was any more excited her tits would explode, sending milk every where, but she was good at avoiding it.
When she got to the Library, she discovered that Twilight was back home and reading her copy of "Anatomy of a Stallion". What, where you expecting 50 Shades of Hay? No, that has been done before and I won't bastardize this story with that unoriginal garbage.
"Hey Twilight." Rainbow Dash exclaimed excitedly, smashing her head into the wall as hard as she could to show Twilight how much she cared.
"Oh, hey Rainbow Dash!" She said as she threw up on the book she was reading "Spike, that stupid shit nose, told me you needed essence of piss."
"YEE YEE" Raindow Dash said, no doubt suffering from short term brain damage "We is he now actually?"
"Oh, I put him in time out for being a bitch tornado. He was stupid and broke his arm, so I broke his soul with my pit of shit snakes and cuddle fucks."
"Ha, stupid whore!"
Twilight gave Rainbow Dash a bottle of essence of piss, which was an orange, mucus like liquid. Must of sucked getting that out.
With that, the two ponies said farewell and Rainbow Dash continued on to go meet Pinkie Pie. When she got to Sugercube Corner, Pinkie was busy with customers, because that's where she works, so Rainbow Dash had to wait a little bit, but it was okay, Rainbow Dash still had Scootaloo's father's skull to talk to, so they talked. The thing is, the skull didn't talk back, because it's dead, but Rainbow Dash had a good imagination, so she imagined it talking.
When Pinkie was done dealing with customers she approached the Cyan Pegasus. "Alright Mrs. Dash, let's do this"
So they baked a cake that was specially made for Scootaloo and put a happy birthday message on it. Rainbow Dash didn't know if it was actually her birthday, but it's always nice to be reminded your one year closer to dying.
When they were done Rainbow Dash had to respectfully get rid of Scootaloo's father's skull, so she put it in Pinkie's garbage can. No one would ever want to go in a garbage can, so it was safe there.
"Thanks" Rainbow Dash said to the pink slut
She had to find Scootaloo, but it wasn't hard because she had no parents. So with the cake she went to the Cutie Mark Crusader Club house. When she got there Scootaloo was crying.
"Hey, you dumb bitch, here's a cake for making you feel bad."
Scootaloo's eyes lit up and she hugged her idol. "Oh, Rinkled Sash, Thank you!" Even though she was happy, she started crying again "I can't fly too"
"Don't worry you failed abortion" Rainbow Dash hugged her with a punch to the face "I'll be your sister."
And they loved each other.
End
