She's Me, But A Girl?

by rockah12

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Sex, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 4191

Twilight, practicing a new spell, causes a female version of Spike to come to their world. How will Spike live with himself?

Contains cursing and sexual content.

Published 2012-06-02 03:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-08 00:57:57 UTC

The Spell to End All Spells

"Yes... Finally..." Twilight says, putting the last touches on the small, circular object. "It is complete!!" She does an evil laugh for a few seconds before the voice of her assistant and best friend, Spike, is heard

"Twilight, what the hell are you doing?" Spike asks. The last few years had made him taller and more... the best word is humanoid. His spikes on the top of his head were slicked back, and he was wearing a T-shirt with the logo of Reservoir Colts, his favorite film.

"Hmm? Oh, Spike!" Twilight says, walking up to her best friend. "I'm just putting the finishing touches on a spell. If it works, we may be able to travel across the MULTIVERSE!" An echo emphasizes the last word.

"Which means?" Spike asks, making a 'Go on' gesture with his hands.

"We'll be able to travel through time, space, and even dimensions!" Twilight says. She's bouncing around like Pinkie Pie, except with a more determinable pattern. "Isn't that exciting?"

Spike blinks several times. "Uh... sure. Look, I need to send the princess a letter about whatever the heck it is that you intend to do, and then I'm taking Rarity to the movies."

Twilight looks at him confusedly. "Rarity?" she asks, staring Spike straight in the eyes. "You're taking Rarity-"

"To the movies, yes. But only as a friend. I wish it were more, as you can probably guess." Spike says with a sigh. He perks up again. "Anyway, let's get this show on the road, il mio amico."

"Okay, Spike. I wish you'd tell me where you learn all of these languages." she mutters, walking up to the portal. She starts saying, "A gurgite massa spatium, nos peregrinari ad locus. Tempus, posse mundi, nostri fata potest EXPLICATUS!" after which her horn starts glowing, and the portal is lifted into the air. it starts flashing. Spike starts jotting down several notes about the experiment, including the unnatural liquid mass forming inside the spherical object. Suddenly, the swirling mass explodes outwards. It blasts Spike and Twilight against the walls of the Library. Then, as quickly as it had happened, it ended. They land on the floor and look at each other, then the flaming spot on the floor where the portal once was. The fire was green, similar to Spike's.

"Huh. I thought there'd be an alien or something." Spike says. He walks up to the fire and stamps it out. Suddenly a large flash occurs, blinding Spike for several seconds. When he opens his eyes, he's face-to-face with a purple. feminine face with long, green "hair" made of spikes. He screams, and she does too.

"WHOA! Enough screaming, you fools!" Twilight yells. They stop.

Spike moves his arm to where it's perpendicular to his body. She does too. He cocks his head to the side, and she does too. He steps to the side, and she does too. He taps her on the forehead, and she grabs his hand. "Enough of this! Who are you?" she asks, her voice light and friendly, albeit slightly annoyed.

"I should ask you the same, mademoiselle." Spike says, a boyish smile appearing on his face.

"Oh, sweet Artemis... I'm Spike." She says, still annoyed.

"Well, that makes two of us. I'm Spike too." He says, extending his arm.

"Oh my... this is fascinating. Keep her talking, she may be from another universe." Twilight says, writing something down.

"Wait, who's she? She sounds like my friend Dusk." the female Spike says. She walks over to her. "Looks like him too, except she's a mare. Also, where do you get off on calling yourself Spike?" She walks back to him and pokes him in the gut. He doubles over slightly and gasps.

"I didn't name myself, she did." Spike says, pointing at Twilight.

"What is this, some kinda joke? Dusk named me Spike FIRST, pal! 14 years, two months, four days, and..." she this for a second before being interrupted by Spike

"Six hours. I'm guessing you're not from around here." Spike says, putting his arm on her shoulder. She shrugs it off.

"No, I'm from Equestria." she says. Spike and Twilight look at each other.

"Um... this IS Equestria." Twilight says. "Wait... You're definitely from another universe! A different version of this world, where all of us have had our genders swapped." Spike's eyes shoot open.

"So, in this universe you're a stallion? And Rarity's a... OH LUNA, MY MIND!" Spike says before dropping to the ground on his knees and putting his hands on the sides of his head.

"Wow, you need to get him under control." the female Spike says to Twilight.

"Nah, he's just fragile when it comes to science and magic." Twilight says. Spike looks up at her.

"I am not! All that multiverse mumbo-jumbo makes me confused!" Spike says, getting up.

"I hope I can get back soon. I have to take Elusive to the movies... as a FRIEND for Solaris's sake!" the female Spike says.

"Okay, first off, you're in love with somepony that only treats you as a friend? And you have rulers named Solaris, like a Latin word for sun, and Artemis, Greek god of the moon? Wow, that's an oddly specific alternate universe." Spike says, his perplexed look gone.

"Yeah, our Spike's the exact same way." Twilight says, nodding.

"Huh... Weird. Anyway, can you find a way to get me home?" the female Spike says, looking at the unicorn.

"May take a week or two. In the meantime, Spike can take you around town. Get you associated with our world."

"Crap." say the two Spikes in unison.

Anything You Can Do...

"Okay, madame, before I show you around Ponyville, I need to ask you one thing." Spike says, standing in front of the door.

"Uh-huh. And that is?" the female Spike says, her hand running through the spikes on top of her head.

"Do you have any nicknames or alternate names I can call you?" Spike asks.

"Well, some of the others in my world call me Zee for some reason."

"Okay, then you're officially Zee when you're in this world." Spike says. He walks up to Zee. "Shall we go?"

Zee shrugs. "Sure, why not?"

The two open the door of the library. They walk out, and as soon as they do... "Hello, Spike." a feminine voice says from their right.

"Crap." Spike says. He turns and a white pony with a purple mane is standing in front of him.

"So, are you ready?" Rarity asks. She's wearing a beret and a sweater. She looks at Zee. "Who is this?"

"My name's Zee, and you are?" Zee asks, staring directly at the fashionable pony.

"Rarity, darling. Call me Rarity. Now if you'll excuse us, me and Spike have to go to the movies, don't we?" she says, looking at Spike under half-closed, seductive eyes.

Spike starts walking with Rarity, his pupils turned into pink hearts, when Zee walks up too. He snaps out of his trance when he sees her. "Look, Spike, I can go with you guys! What movie is it?"

"Reservoir Colts. Pretty good drama." Spike says. Rarity puts her hoof over his mouth.

"Why should YOU care? You're not the one he invited."

Spike moves Rarity's hoof. "I have enough bits to afford three tickets AND enough snacks for all of us, Rarity. Don't be an ass." he says. Rarity gasps.

"Wow, that's a badass thing to say to Miss Hoity-Toity." Zee says, chuckling.

"How dare you? Albeit, that was kind of tough... and I like tough guys..." she looks at him again with a seductive look. Spike ignores it this time. He smiles, causing her to frown and pout.

"Well, we might as well go!" he says. He walks in the direction of the recently made Theater, with Rarity and Zee following close behind.

"So, you look just like him," Rarity says, pointing at Spike. "But you're a girl. Is that normal?"

"Yes." Zee says, smiling. She crosses her arms.

"How long have you two... KNOWN each other?"

Zee thinks. "Two years." she lies.

"Really? How come he never talked about you?"

"Oh he probably did, you just weren't listening." Zee says. She gives a coy smile and catches up to Spike. Rarity opens her mouth in an attempt to say something witty, but can't think of anything

Spike was thinking about how beautiful the day was. Sunny, not a cloud in the sky, when suddenly Zee walks up to him. "You know? Your girlfriend back there's kind of a bitch." Zee says. Spike turns to her quickly.

"She's not my girlfriend or a bitch. I'll have you know she's a highly reputable dress maker." Spike says with a nod.

"But no one around here wears clothes except you and her, it seems. And you don't wear dresses."

"Good point."

"How far away is this movie theater of yours?" Zee asks, looking at Spikes face. She thinks to herself, "He IS handsome... Gah, what am I thinking? I'm not a narcissist, needing to look at myself every time I want to make lo- oh, he's talking."

"Oh, not far. Maybe 4 blocks or so." Spike says, smiling.

"Sweet. Can... Uh... Can I ask you something?" Zee says, stopping him.

"Sure, what?"

"Can... Can I kiss you?"

"Wh-what? Kiss me?" Spike asks, stepping back slightly. He looks at Zee, then at Rarity. A blush spreads across his face.

DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER

Love is a Funny Thing

"You heard me." Zee says, stepping forward. Spike takes a step back in response.

Rarity stops and looks on. Spike looks shocked, Zee looks... emotionless... Rarity walks up. "What the hay is going on here?" she asks, taking a look at both Spike and Zee.

"She asked me to kiss her." Spike says, pointing at Zee.

"Why would YOU want to kiss him?" Rarity asks. She walks up to Spike.

"He's handsome, for one thing." Zee says. Spike looks at her with a look that is either asking "Really?" or "You're not serious, are you?"

"Do you even know how to kiss?" Rarity asks, moving ever closer to Spike with every second.

"Of course." Zee says, frowning.

"I mean, a REAL kiss. One bursting with passion. A kiss to remember." As she says the last word, she darts her head forward and kisses Spike on the lips. He responds with shock as she darts her tongue into his mouth. He pushes her away.

"What the hell? Rarity, what is wrong with you?" he asks, moving towards Zee, who was equally shocked.

"That was just uncalled for, you bitch." Zee says, standing between Spike and Rarity. Spike pushes her aside.

"I just wanted to see how good of a kisser he is!" Rarity says. She then realizes what she's done. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." She then runs off in the opposite direction to where they WERE traveling.

"Rarity, wait!" Spike yells. He starts walking towards her, but Zee stops him.

"She's not worth the heartbreak, Spike." she says, frowning. "I'm... I'm sorry. What I asked what uncalled fo-" she is interrupted as Spike hugs her. She stands, confused, for several seconds before hugging him back. They stand in the middle of the street hugging for the entirety of four minutes before walking back to the library.

"Wow, the movie was THAT bad, huh?" Twilight asks as Zee and Spike walk into the library.

"We... we never got to see it. I'll tell you about it later." Spike says, walking to one of the doors. He turns back. Zee notices a small tear rolling down his face. He then closes the door.

"Oh, dammit. This is all my fault. I'll go talk to him." Zee says, going to the door.

"Well, I need to go to the Bakery, so I'll be back in an hour, okay? Don't burn down the place." Twilight says. She walks to the front doors and exits.

"Well, here goes nothing." Zee thinks as she enters the room. Spike is laying in bed with a pillow over his face.

"Leave me alone, Twilight." Spike says through a muffled, but obviously shaky, voice.

"It's Zee. Can I sit with you?" she asks.

"Sure." he shifts himself so she'll have somewhere to sit.

She walks up to his bed and sits at his feet. He takes the pillow off of his face. He's not crying, but he is blushing. "Look, Spike, I'm sorry." she says, looking at him.

"Why did you really want to kiss me, Zee?" he asks, sitting up.

"Well..." Zee starts, before chuckling. "Forget it, you'll laugh if I tell you."

"Go on."

"Well... I always wondered if you kissed a clone or alternate version of yourself, is it just kissing or is it..." she stops abruptly.

"Or... more? I've thought the same before." Spike says, moving towards her. "The only thing is, I'm sure it will always be more than just a kiss." He is now directly in front of her. "Make your move."

"Gladly." and she darts forward and connects her lips to his. He moves his tongue into her mouth, and she wraps her tongue around his. They kiss like this for a minute, before moving to a lying down position and continuing to kiss, as well as move their hands across each others bodies. They stop kissing and Zee says, "Spike, what the hell are we doing?"

"I don't know, but let's keep doing it." he replies, kissing her again. They continue kissing for thirty minutes, only stopping for short breaths at times.

Entwined in passion, the two lovers caress and kiss until they hear the door open and a voice that sounded full of remorse emanate through the library saying, "Spike, I'm sorry about outside! Can I make it up to you?" They stop abruptly and look to the door of the room, heavy blushes covering their faces.

Interestingly, I was listening to my radio and "Your Body is a Wonderland" came on when I started the kissing scene. Also, more cliffhangers. Sorry.

Meanwhile, Elsewhere, Etc. (optional)

"So you're telling me she just up and disappeared." Oddity asks, pacing the floor.

"Uh-huh." Midnight replies

"Directly in front of you?"

"Yes."

"What the hell happened?"

"Fuck if I know." Midnight says, walking up to a small book of spells. "But I have an idea. I think she was taken to another dimension." He opens the book. "Findicus Spikeicus!"

"Well?"

"She's in a universe where... it appears that everypony here is a female instead of a male and vice-versa."

"So... In that universe, I'm a girl. Am I hot?"

Midnight rolls his eyes. "Narcissist."

I Hear The Angels Talking, Talking, Talking...

"Spike? Spiiiiiike? Where are you, mon petit cracheur de feu?" Rarity yells, walking to each door. It reminds Spike of a dream he had had years earlier...

"Experiment 32-B in progress." Spike says under his breath. He gets up.

"What?" Zee whispers.

"Nothing. Stay here." he walks to the door and opens it slowly. Rarity is on the other side of the Library. He exits and walks to where he is directly behind her. "Boo."

Rarity spins around, startled. When she sees Spike, she calms down. "Spike, you scared me." she says, giggling. She then becomes serious. "Look, about the kiss, I'm so sorry. That was an irrational thing for me to do."

"Not the most irrational thing someone's done. I've done WAY more irrational things than that."

"Like what?"

"Falling in love." Spike answers, smiling. He goes to the kitchen and looks for something to drink. "Do you want some tea or lemonade? Coffee maybe?" He yells to Rarity.

"Water, darling." Rarity says. His answer was shocking. Was falling in love really irrational? And who was he talking about? She knew he had had a crush on her since the first day they met, but he wasn't one hundred percent in love with her, she could tell. A childish crush and nothing more. So who was she?

Spike poured a glass of water and a glass of lemonade. He brought Rarity her drink and sat down and drank his. "Exactly what caused you to kiss me?"

Rarity looks up at him. Zee was right, he was handsome. "I... I'm not sure. That Zee girl wanted to kiss you, so I guess I did too." she answers.

"Ah, pangs of jealousy? I understand."

Rarity blushes, but then realizes something. "Where is Zee? Is she staying with you and Twilight?"

Spike freezes. He starts to say, stuttering, "Y-yeah. O-of course she is." He then takes another drink of lemonade.

"What's wrong? You seem... tense. Can I... help?" Rarity says. As she says the last sentence, she walks up to him slowly. She has a coy, seductive look on her face. Spike ignores the look again. He was getting good at that.

"No, I'm not tense. I'm just... a little pissed off that we couldn't go see a movie." he says. She was now directly in front of him.

"Well how about we go see another movie?" Rarity says, a happy look on her face. "I heard 'Fear and Loathing in Las Pegasus' was pretty good."

Spike thought about it. He realized that watching a movie with both of them would let him decide which one he really loved. "Okay. When does it start?"

"10 o' clock. It's two hours long, so we'll be back at midnight." Rarity says.

"What time is it now?"

"Nine."

"Zee, we're going to the movies, want to come?"

"Why not?" Zee says. She gets up and walks into the main room, wearing a black sweater she stole from Spike's dresser. When they're all together, they walk out.

"That was SO awesome!" Zee says, walking out of the theater. She looks at Spike.

"Gonzo is a fucking maniac!" Spike says. He looks at Rarity.

"My favorite part? The scene with the lizards! 'Tell them to get out their bucking golf shoes' is one of the most hilarious lines I've ever HEARD!" Rarity says. She giggles. Spike looks at her with confusion. He had never heard her curse before, and it was kinda... HOT. He shakes that idea out of his head and smiles.

"Look, It's getting late." Spike says to Rarity. "The boutique's way too far away. You're obviously really tired. You'll pass out in the street before you even get close to the door. You can stay at the Library." He looks at Zee. "Keep her from falling asleep while she's walking."

"Okay." Zee says. She puts her arm around Rarity to steady her, and they start walking to the library.

(To all of you idiots who immediately thought "AND THEN THEY FUCKED", GTFO.)

Morning

Mm... Is it morning already? Spike thinks to himself, pressing hs face into the pillow. He groans and arches his back, putting his arms forward and stretching in a pose similar to downward dog. His back pops and he returns to lying flat. He flips over and opens his eyes a little. Sun shines through the window, and he growls slightly as he covers his eyes. He sits up and rubs his eyes with his forearm. After a few seconds he uncovers his eyes and looks around the room. The bed he was in was a mess. "Gonna need to make this later." he mutters. He stretches his arms out and yawns, standing up out of the bed. He scratches his head as he walks to the door, where he hears two female voices having an unintelligible conversation on the other side. He raises an eyebrow and walks through the door.

"Look, having boobs isn't great." Zee says, lying down on the couch, playing a JoyBoy. Rarity was beside her, watching her play. "It's nearly impossible to sleep with these in the way," She points at one of her breasts, easily c-cups, "And they get in the way of hugs. Especially with ponies. Their heads are right freaking here." She points to her sternum, between her breasts. Spike feels his face get slightly hot as he watches them talk.

Rarity, with a curiousity akin to a young foal, pokes Zee's left breast with a hoof, eliciting a blush to spread across the dragon's face. "But they're so squishy and soft, I want some!" the alabaster mare exclaims.

Zee looks the mare in the face. "Where would they be? On your stomach?" she asks seriously.

Rarity does a slight pouty face. "But they make great pillows, see?" She puts her head on Zee's boob and gives a soft, happy and content sigh. Zee's blush spreads across her entire face, and she stammers.

"I am e-extremely uncomfortable right now, Rarity. P-please get your head off my tits..." she says softly.

Spike raises his eyebrows. "Yep. I need some coffee." he says, turning and walking to the kitchen.

Spike came into the living room several minutes later with a tray that was holding three mugs, a coffee pitcher, sugar, milk, creamer, and anything else the girls would like in their coffee. "Morning, devochki! I have coffee!"

Zee looks at Spike and smiles. "Oh thank Apollo, I really need some coffee." she says, looking down to the quiet, sleeping mare on her chest. Rarity's light, cute breathing made Spike smile.

"Do you take cream and sugar?" Spike asks.

"One teaspoon of sugar, a fifth of-"

"A fifth of a cup of milk, and half a teaspoon of honey." Spike finishes with a smirk. Zee raises an eyebrow.

"Nice. Glad that we're kinda the same. Helps keep things simple." she says. He hands her a mug filled with coffee and all the other things in it. She takes a sip and smiles. "Perfection."

Spike chuckles and sips from his own mug, setting the tray down on a table. "So, what happened last night?" he asks.

Zee shrugs and sips. "Me, you, and Rarity went into your room and slept, and then me and Rarity woke up at five, saw that you had..." she looks to his crotch for a second and then back to his face. "Well, you know. Sails at full mast, if you catch my meaning." Spike blushed. "So, me and her came in here and I started playing my JoyBoy, and then me and her had a conversation about my boobs. And then she fell asleep on them. Feels... Kinda nice, actually. Her fur is soft."

Spike smiles. "Nice to know." he says softly, taking a swig of his coffee. "When Twilight wakes up, we'll work on finding out why you're here, okay?"

"Okay." Zee smiles and sighs contentedly. "Maybe Dusk and Twilight will fall in love too."

Spike raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Maybe."

Author's Note

IT'S HAPPENING! :D
Hey, guys! Finally wrote this chapter and I feel great about it! So WOOOO!

Applejack and Rainbow Blitz (optional)

Applejack and Rainbow Blitz (optional)

"So, what yer sayin' is, Spike just up and dissappeared? How tha hay does that work?" the stallion says, taking a drink of his namesake.

"We aren't really sure, Applejack. We need to know if Rainbow can help." Dusk says. As if on cue, the blue stallion lands on the table.

"Rainbow Blitz at your service. How can I help you?" he asks.

"We need one of your feathers to create an inter dimensional portal." Dusk says, plucking one out of the stallion's wing.

"Ow! Could have waited for my response, you bucking asshole!" Rainbow yells. He covers his mouth as soon as he says it. "Sorry. I overreacted." he says through his hoof.

"No problem." Dusk says. He puts the feather in his satchel.

Elusive looks at Rainbow and Applejack, and shakes his head. "Honestly, what some ponies will say..."

"What?" Applejack asks, looking the fashionista in the eyes.

"Well, some friends of mine were spreading rumors that you two were lovers." he says, coyly smiling. Rainbow rolls his eyes.

"Well, tell your friends it ain't true. I'm not that kinda stallion, just ask Marigold." Applejack says.

"Who?" Rainbow asks, looking at his best friend.

"She's somepony who just moved in. You haven't met her?" Dusk asks.

"No, I haven't." the blue stallion says

Meanwhile... (Optional)

Dusk just stands there and blinks. Spike, who had been talking about the upcoming party Bubble was scheduling just... disappeared. "HOLY CRAP." He says, trying to see if she had teleported to another part of the library. Elusive walks in. Dusk never was overly fond of the bastard, too preppy, he thought. Spike, on the other hand, loved him and had promised to take him to see "Colt Fiction", her favorite film, today.

"Spike? Where are you, you little devil?" Elusive says, looking around the library. He looks at Dusk. "Dusk, darling, have you seen Spike?"

"I did, but she just disappeared!" Dusk says, walking up to him.

"Disappeared? MY GOODNESS, WE MUST TELL THE PRINCES!" Elusive yells, bolting for the door.

Dusk sighs. "Dammit, why am I with the most annoying jack-off in this whole damn town?" his evil side thinks. The normal side just thinks "Let's go, then." before he follows Elusive.