Pinkie Pie legalizes marijuana

by Fiddlesworth the bear

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 1322

Pinkie Pie and the gang get a great idea to make a harmless drug legal for every pony.

Pinkie Pie and the gang were sitting around, eating some taco bell and smoking a joint when they came up with a wonderful idea. They were going to legalize marijuana, the right way. How will Pinkie Pie do it? And will she succeed?

Published 2015-10-28 19:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-28 19:40:02 UTC

Pinkie Pie makes a stand

Author's Note

Here we go! Another one of my political stories about my obviously correct opinion, about a topic I definitely give a shit about.

Pinkie Pie makes a stand

“Jesus Pinkie Pie, who’d you buy this from? It’s mad loud.” Twilight asked.

“That guy...what was his name again? Snowflake or something? Yeah I think he sold it to me.” Pinkie Pie said.

“Pass it over here, I'm dying to try myself.” Rainbow Dash said.

Pinkie Pie passed her the blunt and gave her a reassuring nod. “It’ll kick in fast...trust me.”

“Yoooooo, wouldn’t it be awesome if this shit was legal...or something?” Rarity said.

“I bet you I can make it legal.” Pinkie Pie said, staring around the room confidently, but not too confidently, or else that would be too much energy.

“I was wrong about you gals, maybe all this liberal hippie shit is alright.” After Applejack was done saying that, she overdosed on marijuana.

“Woooaaaah, far out.” Spike said.

“Alright guys, I’m gonna go try to legalize marijuana.” Pinkie Pie then jumped up and shot out of the room at supersonic speeds like she normally does, except this time it was in super slow motion. Which weirded the fuck out of all her friends.

“Woah man, she’s almost slower than me...wait...what?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Ah, perfect place to set up my petition booth, at the Canterlot House of Republicans!” Pinkie Pie said, standing in front of a tall and fancy looking building. Pinkie Pie walked in, carrying a large assortment of wood and other tools to make a petition stand. “Ugh, too bad I’m not high anymore, or else that would make this building experience ten times better.” After a good thirty minutes of Pinkie Pie building and fancy looking ponies spitting on her for looking so poor in their presence, she was finally done with her stand.

“Huh...legalize marijuana. You gotta be kidding me, first you hippies parade around the streets doing your violent crimes in a pitiful attempt to legalize something as stupid as this, and now you come in here and try to be peaceful with the community? What a surprise.” A rather rich looking horse said.

“So, you’ll sign my petition then!?” Pinkie Pie yelled ecstatically.

“Ha! Unless you can prove to me that there is nothing wrong with this harmful drug, then I’m not even planning on it.” Rich horse said.

“Prove it huh? Hmmmmm. OH THAT’S RIGHT!” Pinkie Pie yelled while spraying a large amount of spit all over the horse. Pinkie Pie reached into her back skin pocket and took out a little plastic bag. “I still have some left!” Pinkie Pie said as she rolled up a joint.

“Uh...what are you doing?” Rich horse said, nervously.

“Proving you wrong.” Then Pinkie Pie toked the fattest joint of twenty-fifteen.

“Oh...wow, you’re right miss. I, A republican, was wrong once again.” Then the Rich horse signed her petition and walked away.

“Ha, I knew this was going to be a breeze.” Pinkie Pie said, high off her damn mind by now.

“Attention all loyal Republicans of Canterlot, there will now be snacks served on the fifth floor.” A voice said over the intercom.

“Oh boy. SNACKS!” Pinkie Pie said as she headed towards the elevator.

As Pinkie Pie got into the elevator there was already two other horses standing in there. One seemed to be endlessly pointing at the buttons and the other horse seemed to just be standing there, staring straight forward. “Oh hey Janet! How’s the business doing?” Pointing horse said.

“Uh...I’m not sure?” Pinkie Pie said, confused.

“Going to floor five, like us?” Pointing horse asked.

“Yep.” Pinkie Pie said.

“Cool, just let me hit that button right over here.” Pointing horse said, as he awkwardly and slowly pressed the fifth floor button.

“You know what really makes my day?” Pointing horse asked.

“Um...what?” Pinkie Pie said nervously.

“When you get home at the end of the day, and you’re eating McDonald's. Then once you’re finished eating everything, you just find a stray fry at the bottom of the bag. You just find that one fry, that one little guy. It makes me so happy.” Pointing Horse said. Then suddenly the lights in the elevator starting flashing red and an alarm starting going off.

“What’s going on!?” Pinkie Pie yelled.

“Oh god, we're all gonna die!” Pointing Horse said, just as he exploded into nothing.

“W-what the fuck!?” Pinkie Pie yelled in horror.

Suddenly the Horse that has just been sitting there silently looks over to her and yells. “I’m a great guy! I can get us out of this situation! I really have a keen sense for getting us out of situations like this one! Hahahaha, this is the last thing you’re going to see before you die!” The staring horse yelled just before he too disappeared. The flashing red lights stopped and the elevator came to a halt, the doors opened to a large room that smelled of delicious sweets.

“That was odd, oh well. I GET FOOD NOW!” Pinkie Pie said. The food line was long, so Pinkie Pie decided to attempt using her social skills to help her cut in line.

“Um, excuse me, but, I’m REALLY stoned right now! Can I get to the front of the line?” All of the business horses looked back in unison and said.

“Well of course you can, Pinkie Pie, you deserve it.” Then Pinkie Pie darted to the front of the line and took as much food as she could fit onto one plate. After many delicous minutes of munching she finally ran out of food, when she went to go get seconds she realised all the food was gone. That’s when Pinkie Pie hatched a brilliant plan, to steal someone’s food. So she calmly walked up to a horse who was eating some candy.

“Hey, I’m gonna steal your piece of candy!” Pinkie Pie said.

“Not my sweets...not my treats!” The business horse said, sadly.

As Pinkie Pie grabbed for the candy everything started to go dark and get really loud, then she passed out.

After what only felt like seconds, Pinkie Pie woke up. When her eyes finally adjusted to the bright lights she saw a doctor, a nurse, and a guard staring down her in shock. When she tried to move she realized that her hooves were cuffed to the ends of the bed and she was strapped down.

“W-What happened?” Pinkie Pie said, confused.

“Oh god, she’s finally awake.” The doctor said.

“Mam, do you know why you’re here?” The guard said.

“well, I was trying to legalize marijuana, so to prove a point I got high. Then I went to go have some food and then I blacked out.” Pinkie Pie said.

“Oh gosh, does she really believe that?” The nurse said.

“You see miss, you’re here because you were under the hallucinogenic, and dangerous effects of Marijuana. You went on a killing spree in that building.” The doctor said.

“But what about my friends? They’ll tell you that I couldn’t have done any of those things!” Pinkie Pie said.

“...You murdered your friends, when the detectives arrived at miss Twilight Sparkle’s home, all they found were your friends bodies, chopped into little pieces.” The guard said.

“no...NO...NO THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN!” Pinkie Pie yelled, in a state of terror.

“Take her to the mental hospital, where we keep all the other filthy reefer addicts.” The guard said.

“Princess Celestia!” A guard said as he rushed into the throne room.

“Ugh, what is it? You interrupted me and Luna’s important discussion!” Celestia said.

“You’re plan to make sure Marijuana doesn’t get legalized has worked!” The castle guard said.

“Ohhhh, perfect. Well, now that you’re here, maybe you can help me and my sister solve a discussion. What do you think we should do about the homeless?” Celestia asked.