Sex Ed: Pony Style

Sweetie Belle burst into the classroom, the first to arrive and proud of it. “Hi, Miss Cheerilee!”

“I'm sorry,” a voice that was definitely not Cheerilee's answered, “Miss Cheerilee is enjoying a few well-deserved days off. I'll be teaching you until she gets back.”

“Princess Cadance?” Sweetie Belle's jaw dropped, and she completely forgot to bow.

Thankfully, the Princess didn't seem to mind. “At your service.” She gave a warm smile, her head tilting slightly to the side.

Wow. Rarity had told her that she'd be getting some very special lessons at school now that she had her cutie mark – that's why she came so early. She had no idea it was going to be this special, though! “Wow, it's really an honor!”

The Princess rolled her eyes a little and waved Sweetie Belle off with a hoof. “Oh come now, I teach this all over Equestria when the time is right. I can certainly spare the time to do it for one of the fillies who was a flower girl at my own wedding, now can't I?”

Sweetie Belle smiled wide and squeaked out her excitement. “What are we going to be learning? Is it magic? I hope it's magic!”

“I can assure you, it will be magical,” the Princess told her with a conspiratorial wink, “but you'll have to be patient. I want to wait for the rest of the class to arrive, so I can explain it to everypony at once.”

Deflated and sighing, Sweetie Belle nodded. “Okay.”

As Sweetie Belle reluctantly took her seat, Princess Cadance turned back to the classroom's blackboard and lifted a piece of chalk with her magic. From her vantage point, Sweetie Belle could only catch little glimpses of what the Princess was working on, but what she could see was very intriguing. She was drawing ponies, or at least parts of ponies. The drawings seemed to emphasize certain parts of the ponies with extra detail ... parts Rarity had scolded Sweetie Belle any time she asked about, parts that her parents had told her she'd be told about when she was older.

Sweetie Belle gasped. “Oh my gosh! Are we going to be learning about—?”

The Princess slammed the projection screen down over the blackboard and set her chalk down underneath it. “Now let's not get ahead of ourselves, Sweetie Belle. I want to keep it a surprise, at least for the others, okay?”

“You can count on me!” Sweetie Belle said with a curt nod.

“Good.”

It wasn't long before more of her classmates arrived. Twist, Rumble, and Dinky came in through the door, all together.

“Guys! Guys!” Sweetie Belle called out, “Guess what we're about to—”

Cadance cleared her throat delicately, but loud enough for Sweetie Belle to hear over the sound of her own enthusiasm.

Her three classmates looked at her. “We're about to what?” Dinky asked.

Sweetie Belle stayed silent for just a bit too long. “Um, sorry. Nothing. Never mind.”

They stared at her oddly, until Rumble tore his attention off of her long enough to spot the alicorn in the room. “Princess Cadance!” His eyes bugged out wide, but he had enough presence of mind to bow to their royal guest, which prompted the two fillies next to him to do the same.

“Please just take your seats,” the Princess said with mirth and kindness in her voice. “I'll explain everything once the whole class is here.”

In ones and twos and the occasional bigger clump, all the fillies and colts of Sweetie Belle's class filtered in. Most of them remembered to bow and address the Princess properly, much to Sweetie Belle's chagrin, but a few of them didn't. Pipsqueak and Featherweight had been too dumbfounded to do much of anything when they came in. Diamond Tiara, of course, fell all over herself groveling at Princess Cadance's hooves, but eventually she, too, was persuaded to take a seat. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, far from bowing, ran up and started bouncing in circles around the Princess, until she commanded them to sit down and be quiet – but with a private wink to indicate that the command was more for the benefit of the rest of the class than for them. Button Mash was the last to arrive – as usual – and only after he'd finished his bow and taken a seat did the Princess finally address the class.

“Good morning, class,” she said, almost singing it. “As I'm sure you've already noticed, I'm not Miss Cheerilee.”

That got her a soft giggling from around the room.

“I'm Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but you can call me Cadance, or Princess Cadance, if you feel you must.” Her eyes darted noticeably toward Diamond Tiara's side of the room with that. “And I'll be here teaching you while Miss Cheerilee takes a long-overdue and well-deserved vacation. Now...” She smiled especially wide. “Seeing as how I'm the Princess of Love, can any of you guess what I'll be teaching you about?”

A long, quiet moment followed. Nopony thought it could be that simple ... or could it?

Eventually, Sweetie Belle raised her hoof. “You're going to be teaching us about ... love?”

Cadance nodded. “Exactly. Thank you Sweetie Belle.”

Praise from a princess! It filled Sweetie Belle with an undue amount of warmth deep inside.

“But a special kind of love. There's a reason I came now, not some other time – you can only learn about this kind of love when you're old enough and mature enough. We know you're ready for it when you all have your cutie marks.”

Diamond Tiara raised a hoof, and she positively beamed when Cadance nodded toward her. “What's special about this kind of love?”

Cadance smiled and her eyes looked off into the distance. She stayed like that just long enough for it to seem kind of weird for her to pause so long. “The kind of love I'm going to teach you about is how babies are made, and more importantly, it's the most intimate expression of love you'll ever be able to share with another pony. That's why it's so important that you properly learn how to do it.”

She began pacing up and down the classroom, sending bursts of magic into each student as she went. “Now, to begin with, I'm just putting a few measures in place to protect you. I'm using two spells. The first will prevent any of you from getting pregnant – or getting other ponies pregnant – until you're ready for the responsibility of a foal. The second will stay with all of you your entire lives, and it prevents all the common diseases that used to be a risk before I started this program.” The glowing blips of magic found their way to each and every student, and Cadance returned to the front of the class.

“For the first day, I'm going to start with an anatomy lesson.” Some groans from around the class came in response, but she waved them away with a flippant hoof. “Don't worry. I think you’re going to find this lesson much more interesting than when Miss Cheerilee had you memorize pony bone structures.” Her horn glowed again, and the door to the classroom opened. “For my male model, I have a very special stallion: my husband, Shining Armor.”

All the fillies and colts in the room turned to stare as he walked in. He was already blushing a little.

“Take it easy on him, children.” Cadance giggled slightly. “It's his first time doing this.” She took her eyes off him and scanned over the class. “Since it's impractical to demonstrate on myself and lecture at the same time, I'm also going to need a female volunteer.”

Nopony responded ... except for Scootaloo, who shot her hoof up almost instantly.

Cadance smiled at her. “Very well, Scootaloo. Thank you for volunteering. Please come up to the front of the class and stand next to Shining Armor.”