Boulevard of Broken Fics

          Nightmare Moon walked out of the portal, feeling sleepy and nutritionally deprived. Not uncommon for someone who has been stuck on the moon for 1,000 years. As soon as she stepped out, however, she collapsed under the weight. Chrysalis, who was at the ceremony on lease from her banishment, commanded a few changelings to lift her up, and embarrassingly fly her out of the royal castle, over to her cave, where she would reside (an awfully poor overlook, on behalf of Celestia’s embarrassment of overreaction, thus banning the mare to the moon for 1,000 years.) Nevertheless, not a word was spoken, and they returned to the ‘ChrissiCave’, as Chrysalis overdramatically named it.

          When they arrived at the cave, Chrysalis took the mare with her magic, and dumped her on a conveniently placed couch. Being the center of attention besides the Laz-E-Pony that sat across from it, and the kitchenette in the corner, primarily utilized for heating up soup and ramen, but the couch was the middle of the cave, being the victim of a whole host of incidents.

          “So,” Chrysalis said to break the ice. “Earth gravity treating you like the terrible mare you are?”

          Nightmare Moon struggled to respond, her body feeling light headed from so much oxygen. "Umm, yes?”

          “Don't worry,” Chrysalis said comfortingly. “Were all evil diplomat assassins here,” She gesticulated using a single porous hoof,to the entire crowd of changeling who surrounded her, ready to fulfill her wishes, large or small. “So how was the moon?”

          “Bleak. I swear, if I stayed on that rock for 10 more minutes, I'd meet Cave Johnson in heaven- or wherever he is."

          Chrysalis instructed one of the changelings to get them two Cokes, and a cheese plate.

          “What I want to know,” Chrysalis said fascinated. “Is how you occupied yourself for 1,000 years!”

          The truth was embarrassing, but she admit it, giving in. “Most of it was meditation-”

          Chrysalis cracked up, astounded at the idea, when a changeling screamed from by the kitchenette. Another came running to their master.

          “Johnson *pant* cut off *pant* his entire hoof!” The changeling struggled.

          “Apply pressure and give it 20 minutes. You're a changeling! It will grow back!" The aggravated queen shouted, sending the exhausted changeling back to the kitchenette. “I swear,” Chrysalis said, sounding like a mother apologising for their child. “They are not always like this.”

          "It's quite alright, she said, accepting the half-cut cheese plate and beverage. “Besides this deliciously aged bris, what else did I miss?” The fellow queen enquired, with a mouth full of cheese.

          "Well there is this as-”

          "Watch your language,” Nightmare Moon interrupted. “This is a PG rated fic!”

          "-piring,” Chrysalis said, recovering. “young goody two shoes who is Celestia’s teacher pet, and foils all of my schemes, but yeah, pretty normal. What did I miss on the moon?”

          Unexpectedly, Nightmare Moon snorted, spraying the cave with a foam if soft drink. “What is this cursed elixir?" Nightmare Moon asked stereotypically, intentionally sounding like a baron.

         “Coke. The carbonation causes it to fizz. And rot teeth."

         “I take it that this is an acquired taste then?"

         “You like it or not, most ponies choosing the latter. I love the stuff, I get my changelings to buy me cases of the stuff every week.”