Dear Neshia,
There have been some complaints about the graffiti in Town Hall. I will ask you kindly to please clean it up. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even bother to read this letter. Sigh. I really to get her randomness under control! I already have enough problems to deal with. Wait, Spike, are you still writing?! SPIKE, YOU DON'T NEED TO WRITE EVERYTHI-
I scanned the letter once more. My shocked expression quickly turned into a scowl. I got out a quill and paper. How dare she tell me to control my randomness! I took some deep breaths and scribbled down my letter.
Dear Sparkle,
I don't give a rat's butthole about your problems!! Do you think that just because you're perfect pretty princess, that means you get to boss me around like one of your servants?! And besides, if I want to spraypaint a picture of my face in the Town Hall, I will. You should know that by now. This is totally your fault! I wouldn't care if you told CELESTIA about it. Lol! I ran out of things to complain about. See ya later!
Your crazy awesome friend, Neshia
By the way, if you were wondering, my actual name is (brace yourself, folks) Wallamollaneshia. Long name, isn't it? As you can guess, I live in Ponyville. I moved here from Manehatten to live with my friends. That was probably the best decision I've ever made! I'm a light brown unicorn with dark brown eyes. I have black hair with a streak of cobalt blue. I always wore my hair up like Moondancer. Most ponies say I look like the pony 'The Weeknd'. My cutie mark is a paintbrush and a heart that fades from light blue to purple. It expresses my love for art and the color blue. Twilight says that I'm obsessed with blue. Speaking of Twilght, I was supposed to meet her at her castle. I sooooo did not wanna go over there. I already knew that she was gonna hammer me with lectures about the graffiti and not to do certain crap that would make ponies mad. If she really thinks I care, then she's got the wrong pony!
I teleported to Twilight's room, knocking over some papers in the process. Twilight jumped, obviously startled by my appearence. She sighed. "Couldn't you just walk to the castle?" She asked rhetorically. I shugged as Twilight picked up the fallen papers. I swear, she is the most OCD pony I've ever met. I sat down on the cold floor of the castle. "I'll be right back! Stay here," Twilight left and closed the door behind her. I smirked. Silly Twilight. She should've known better than to leave me alone by myself! I looked around. It was my first time inside of Twilight's new room. I smiled when I finally found what I was looking for. I levitated the rectangular device to my hooves and turned it on. I giggled, knowing how shocked Twilight would be when she saw that I found the phone. 'Why do I have a phone', you may ask. Well.... I may or may not've smuggled it from the human world! I downloaded a butt-load of music, mostly from this so-called fandom. 'Five Nights at Freddy's' I think. I turned the volume all the way up! I played the first song I saw. FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S. IS THIS WHERE U WANNA BE?!?!?!?! I quickly turned it down. I heard Twilight running down the hall. When she appeared in the doorway, I put on my best pout face. Twilight sighed. "You found the phone, didn't you?" I nodded. Twilight shook her head as she put the phone back the shelf. That's when I noticed the saddle bags. "Wat r those?" I asked. Twilight took out some paper from the bags. She showed me one of them.
"What do you see in this inkblot?" She asked. I looked at her like she was insane.
"Bruh! Seriously?!"
"Yes!"
I sighed and stared intensly into the black spot of abstractness (is that even a word?!). I started to make out a shape. "I see an elephant with a five-foot tongue!" I smiled. Twilight just stared at me. "What? I just only said the first thing that came to my mind!" Twilight rolled her eyes and showed me the next paper. This one was more difficult. I contemplated in my mind before saying my answer. "A two-headed peacock!" I shouted loud and proud. Twilight face-hooved so hard I thought the world was gonna shake!
"Okay! Next, we try math!" Twilight sounded really excited about this. I rolled my eyes. She knows I hate math. Twilight grinned even harder. Another inch and she'll look like the Grinch, I thought. "Alright! First question!" Twilight beamed.
"What's 9+10?"
"21!!"
Twlight's smile vanished. I was rolling on the floor, laughing! I saw this coming from a mile away. Twilight sighed.
"Ooookaay! Let's try an advanced math problem," she pondered, seemingly thinking of another math problem. "What's the decimal form of one-half?" Twilight really thinks I'm stupid, does't she. That's like, the easiest question in the world! I answered with ease.
"0.5! DUH!!" I practically shouted. "I ain't stupid, ya know!" Twilight giggled. All of a sudden, we heard a large belch downstairs. Twilight looked around nervously.
"Ummm... I'll be back in a sec!" Twilight hurried off and closed the door behind her. Once again, I'm left alone. I thought for a moment. Usually, Celestia doesn't send letters to Twilight unless it's important. Maybe she needs someone to talk to. She has Luna and possibly the royal guards. That makes me wonder what it would be like living with Tia and Lulu.
I remember one time when Twilight took me to Canterlot. I saw the princesses walking back to the castle and I started yelling "Tia and Lulu" like a mad-pony. I was shouting "Notice me Senpai!!" and the princesses started running away. Twilight never took me to Canterlot again.
Speaking of Twilight, she came back from downstairs. "What did Sunbutt want?" I was so curious I thought I was going to burst. Twilight avoided eye contact. Oh noes! What did she do? I pondered. Twilight kept looking down. I started to get anxious. "TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!! LOOOK AT MEEEH!!!!!!!!" I screeched. She quickly looked up and sheepishly grinned. I raised one eyebrow. "Wat did u do?" Twilight lowered her head slightly.
"When you sent me that letter, do you remember when you said that you wouldn't care if I told Celestia about the graffiti?" Twilight's ears pinned were against her head. My eye twitched. She actually told Celestia?! WHO DUZ THAT?!?! I sighed. I slowly looked up at her.
"What did she say?"
"She and Luna wants to have a private talk with you," she said cautiously. One word automatically came to my mind.
Crap!
A Letter To Best Princess
Dear Princess Luna,
I know you're probably busy, but this will definetly be worth your time! Can you plz tell Twilight to stop being a butt-face? She always tries to boss me around liek I'm one of her French maids! I'm sure you've heard about this already, but I'm gonna tell you, anyway! I painted my face in the Town Hall. Twilight hears about it and what does she do? She tells your sister!! She's such a freaking butt! A HUGE, CATOSTROPHIC, BUTT!!!! Lol, sorry! I sorta raged. Are you bored? I'm bored. I'm so freakin' board. Happy belated birthday, btw! I know I'm like, two weeks late but... who cares? If you come to my dream tonight, I'll give you the BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVAR!! Should I go to bed, now? I probably should get to bed! Lol I don't even know, anymore! All ur dreamscape r belong 2 us. Ok, I'll go away.
Your biggest fan,
Wallamollaneshia
I woke up the next morning. That dream was the wierdest! Luna was in it. We partied so hard. Alot of random ponies were there. I felt something under my pillow. There, I found a note. I opened it up and started reading.
Dear Neshia,
That was the best party EVER! I can tell that you've been taking craziness lessons from Pinkie Pie. By the way, what in Tartarus was that clock with three foot-legs?! That was so wierd! Anyway, thanks for this 'phone' you gave me. I still don't understand how you got one, though. Sorry, I have to go to a royal meeting! If I can, I'll talk to you later. Bye for now!
Your friend,
Luna
My eyes were wider than than the sun! My heart started racing. I grinned from ear to ear.
Senpai noticed me!