The party has ended, the laughter is over, and the joy has gone to bed, to sleep until next it wakes. And Fluttershy stands by the window, alone, the wind blowing through her mane and tail. I want to go to her, to put my hoof around her, to hold her and tell her how much she means to me. But I can’t. My legs don’t move, don’t go forward. My hoof reaches out but not far enough. She turns her head toward me, a tear circles her eye. I want to catch it, to cast it aside and stand beside her, to be with her. But I can’t. My legs just will not move.
“Mighty,” she says.
Why? After all I’ve done, after all I’ve seen and said, heard and been through, why is she what I fear most?
I shake the memory of that dream from my mind and focus on the task at hand. Pinkie Pie darts from bush to tree, from tree to shop, from shop to house, until she finally reaches Twilight’s castle. On the edges of her hooves, she quietly inches toward the door and firmly knocks three times.
Twilight, looking equally suspicious as her eyes shoot left and right, opens her castle door a little for Pinkie to squeeze through. The door slams shut. “They’re up to something,” says Rainbow Dash, slowly and thoughtfully.
I look up at her, unimpressed. “Yes, cousin. Pinkie told us she’s throwing a party.”
“Yeah, but what kind of party?” She folds her forelegs in thought as her wings lift her off the ground.
“She wants to celebrate my return from the Crystal Empire. At least I think that’s what it’s for.” I fly up as well.
“But you’ve gone away before, so why now?”
“I still don’t get why you’re so suspicious,” I say as I spin around and fly upside down next to Dashie, in an attempt to show off. Some of the ponies beneath us wave.
“Didn’t you see how Pinkie was acting just now? She’s up to something. And she’s got Twilight in on it too.”
“Twilight’s organized, what does that matter?”
“Pinkie always throws the best parties, why would she need Princess Egghead to help her out?” I laugh and spin back around.
“I don’t know, Dashie, but I’m sure you’re imagining things. Just don’t worry about it.” She flicks her rainbow mane from her eyes and looks me up and down, an interrogating squint in her gaze.
“What happened in the Crystal Empire?” she asks.
“Nothing.” Dash frowns at me. “Fine. I just had to find another magic gem and give it to the two sisters. Easy-peasy.” She rolls her eyes and picks up her pace. “Hey, slow down. You know I can’t keep up.”
“Then I guess I’ll see you later,” she replies, and she pulls back her hooves before throwing them forward again. The gesture throws her into full speed. The power knocks me aside so much I have to kick out my hooves for balance.
“Great whickering stallions!” I cry. Her rainbow trail cuts through the clouds and into the distance, her laughter a quiet echo.
I land on the ground next to Big Mac. He looks at me with knowing eyes, and I shake my head. “Mares, huh?” I say. Big Mac sighs.
“Eyup.” Poor guy, he’s the only stallion at the Sweet Apple Acres. He knows what I mean. He holds out his hoof and I bump it on my way past.
Ponyville is a little different today, though only a little. Everypony goes out of their way to catch my eye and smile or wave or say hello. No doubt Pinkie has invited them all to the party. Maybe Pinkie is up to something. Either that or it’s just going to be a really big party.
I trot through town and repay every smile in kind. In fact, I smile so much my muzzle hurts. “Oh, I don’t mean to intrude,” says the softest and most gentle voice I’d ever heard. I turn to see her and Angel standing behind me. Fluttershy’s pink mane hangs in front of her eyes like a tinted waterfall, the flowing of which captures my eyes and my thoughts. She is truly beautiful, a mare for all to behold, an example to live by. Her strength is something I wish I could hold.
“Fluttershy… Sorry, was there something you wanted?” I ask, clearing out the lumps in my throat as I speak.
“Um, no. Not really. I just wanted to ask, well, if you were going to your party tonight. But that’s a silly question, isn’t it?”
“No,” I say before I have to swallow yet another lump in my throat, “No, it’s not silly. I am going. Will… Will you be there?”
“Of course! I don’t want to miss your thank you party.”
“Thank you party?”
“Oh, yes. Pinkie Pie thought it would be a good idea to thank you for all you’ve done for Ponyville. And I have to say, I’m glad she’s making our thank you so official. You really do deserve it.” Fluttershy shoots me a look that melts my innards, sets my heart a-thumping, and turns my gray muzzle red.
“Oh, well, I…Ah…Yeah…Ah…” Is all I manage to say before Angel stomps his little foot beside Fluttershy’s hoof.
“Oh, of course, Angel. I’m sorry, but I have to run a few errands before the party later. See you then?”
“Ah…Yeah. Yeah, ha ha uhh…” My ears start to burn and I have to flex my legs to stop them from shaking. Fluttershy smiles and trots away. Big Mac appears beside me and sighs again, deeply and knowingly.
“Mares, huh?” he says, a smile creeping across his muzzle. I try to play it cool.
“Ha, yeah. Mares, ha…” I pat my one of my red-hot ears. Big Mac smiles, shakes his head, then leaves. I quickly look around to make sure I still have some dignity left. I spin around as Big Mac and I part ways and bump into Pinkie Pie.
“Oops!” she gasps.
“Sorry, Pinkie.”
“Oh, didn’t expect to see you here, Mighty,” she says. Then her eyes dart from side to side and she bites her lip.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“No. Wait, what? Oh, not much. I mean nothing! Gotta go!” Pinkie zooms past at a speed that I’m sure Dash would respect. The pink pony weaves through the shoppers and disappears.
“Something really is going on,” I say to myself. But it can’t be a bad thing; I’m sure my friends would ask me for help if it was.
Because Twilight banned me from the castle for the day, I land in front of Rainbow’s door and knock. She opens the door and waves me in. I’ll have to rest up here for a bit before the shindig later. I float down into the couch and sigh.
I can feel Rainbow staring at me. “What is it, Dashie?” I say, and tilt my head back over the arm of the sofa. But she doesn’t answer, instead she just looks off into the distance. “What?” I ask bluntly.
“I caught up with Pinkie Pie today,” she says, “She didn’t tell me what was going on but I figured it out…” Rainbow’s excitement lifts me from my seat and I lean in to hear what she has to say. Then she stops flapping her wings and folds her forelegs across her chest. “Yeah, I know, I’m awesome.”
“So? What’s the big secret?”
“Sorry, can’t tell you.”
“What? Why?”
“Can’t say.”
“Dash?”
“Mighty.”
“Dash!”
“Mighty!” Rainbow and I lock eyes, like bulls ready to charge, just an inch away from each other. “Just get ready for the party later, okay?”
“I’m ready.”
“You’re not going like that are you!?”
“Woah, what’s wrong with how I am?”
“Go see Rarity, she’ll fix you up.”
Rarity sends me on my way, saying that she needs time to prepare for the party tonight even though it’s still two hours away. Mares, huh. But she did give her all in outfitting me. She set me up with sleek black jacket, white shirt, and black tie. The collar is wide and ends in pronounced points, and the cufflinks and buttons are a dull silver that matches my gray coat. Rarity also ran a moose or gel, or something, through my mane to slick it back.
I leave the Carousel Boutique with renewed vigor and confidence, and suddenly the party seems like hours and hours away. But time passes no matter how I feel, and I find myself back at Dashie’s place. It isn’t long before we leave together. We fly down to Ponyville, to Twilight’s castle. Several ponies are heading inside when we land.
Inside, the energy of the party is already at maximum. I’m met with dozens of hoof bumps and hugs, and the experience is frightening at first. All I ever wanted was to be worth something to somepony, to protect Equestria and be valued for it. But now that it’s happening, now that I’ve been recognized for that, it feels a little overwhelming and a little undeserved. And then I feel a warmth in my heart that I had all but forgotten, and everypony’s kindness has healed a wound I didn’t know I had. Dashie pats me on the back and we laugh.
Pinkie slinks through the crowd and pulls me and Dash by the hooves. She brings us to a table along the side wall where Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Spike pour each other drinks. In the blink of an eye, Pinkie fills two cups with punch and gives one to me and Dashie. “Cheers,” Twilight exclaims, and we all clang cups and drink deep.
My friends, the best friends I’ve ever had, are beautiful inside and out. They each wear a dress that makes them stand out, as outfits designed by Rarity do. Yet each dress is loose and comfortable, well suited for the warmer seasons and for a big night of dancing. But I can’t help looking at Fluttershy.
Her yellow dress is just a shade or two lighter than her coat and ends at her knees. She wears a green jewel necklace, which hangs in the gap of her sweetheart neckline, and a green bracelet around each front hoof. A green butterfly hairpin rests in her mane.
AJ and Pinkie hug me from both sides, bringing me back from Fluttershy’s enchantment. “Nopony could wait for the party to start,” says Pinkie, “but you haven’t missed a thing! So come on! Let’s dance!” Pinkie gives DJ Pon the nod and a jumping track begins. The eight of us take to the dancefloor.
A hoof pats my shoulder and I look up. “Twilight? I mean, Princess?”
“Please, Mighty, this is a party! You don’t have to be so formal with me,” she replies happily.
“Sorry, Twilight.” I smile, and even though I expect disapproval, the look in her eyes are nothing short of happy and supportive.
“Dance with me,” she says, and without an answer she grabs my hoof and pulls me into the center of the room. Twilight throws out her hips and lifts her hooves to the DJ’s thumping beats, and it isn’t long before Twilight’s crazy moves infect me and I too am moving somewhat manically to the beat.
But nopony seems to mind, in fact they seem to join in and try to match Twilight’s pace. I look around and see all my close friends nearby. Dash and AJ dance in unison, Rarity and Spike make a compelling dance duo, and Pinkie leads Fluttershy in a half-wild, half-composed routine you’d swear they rehearsed.
“Fluttershy looks nice tonight, don’t you think?” Twilight asks me. At first I can’t help but feel a little surprised, a little taken off guard, but then I remember who I’m talking to.
“Yes, she’s very pretty. As are you, Princess. I mean, Twilight.” Twilight smiles and shakes her head.
“But doesn’t Fluttershy look especially nice tonight?” Twilight playfully bumps me with her shoulder. The element of kindness always looks nice.
“She does…” I say and Twilight laughs as the music flows into the next track.
A few songs later, Twilight and I take a deep breath. “I think I need a drink,” I say, “would you like one?”
“No thanks, but I will rest up for a bit,” Twilight laughs, “Thanks for the dance, Mighty.”
“Of course. That was fun.” I look around for a table with a punch bowl and spot one with a few friends standing around it.
Big Mac, Soarin, and Spike all stand tall and proud, keeping it cool. Big Mac leans in close to my ear. “Got something for ya,” he whispers.
“Yeah,” Spike breathes, “real good stuff,” and he chugs down from his cup. He coughs after the contents don’t go down so well. Soarin chuckles and pats the little dragon on the back a few times. Big Mac lifts up the table cloth to reveal a hidden wooden barrel.
“The best cider from Sweet Apple Acres,” says Soarin, and he drinks from his cup. Big Mac grins and pumps his eyebrows.
“Well, it is a party,” I say, and Big Mac fills a cup for me. I drink deeply and relish in the bubbling cider coursing down my throat. I let out a big, coarse breath of satisfaction. “Dashie would be so jealous,” I say, and the others laugh loudly.
The rainbow lights pulse and flicker throughout the crowded room, and everypony bobs and sways to the beat of the music. A cool breeze flows through the room from the moon-hued sky and refreshes the dancing ponies. I stand with my back against the wall and watch the fun being had by all. I gulp down the last of my cider and then refill my cup. This is a good party; food, drink, games, some of the best music Vinyl’s ever played, and good company. No, the ponies of Ponyville are more than just good company. They are all friends.
And then my heart stops. Just for an instant. Then it gradually beats quicker and quicker. It flutters each time I see her, but tonight my heart threatens to stop entirely. Go, it tells me, speak to her, dance with her, or I shall forever be still in your chest.
Fluttershy’s big blue eyes capture me, ensnare me, enthrall me. They are little oceans of worlds I want to swim in, but how I fear the water, lest I get wet. The rainbow lighted room filled with ponies becomes a pale imitation of what it was a moment ago. Now, all color, all light, and all energy are dwindling flames compared to her perfection. Fluttershy smiles a smile that will remain in my memory forever.
She drops her gaze for a moment and tells me with her eyes; “Come here.” I cross the room, passing through the dancing ponies, past Rarity and Twilight, AJ and Dashie, until I’m standing in front of her.
“Fluttershy,” I say, “I care for you more than you may know. And I wish to wake beside you each morning and feel that loving warmth that rises with the sun. To say goodnight, every night, when the moon shines in the dark. I have travelled far, and been through much. But you are a pony unlike all others. And you have a special place in my heart. But, alas, I am weak. I am too weak to admit love. For I am fearful, dear Fluttershy, fearful that you may not feel as I do, that you will not accept my love, that you will not accept me. So I shall remain silent, forever unheard, forever wanting, forever unfulfilled. But I will not be unhappy, for I know you are here, close by. I know you are part of me, and part of something greater than me. But I will be here, also. And I shall love you still, from afar, from nearby, from the first dawn I saw you until the last dusk I see. I hold you in my heart, dear Fluttershy. And I care only to remain true to myself and forever love you and only you.” Is what I want I want to say, but instead I look her up and down and find no words. How I wish I could speak my mind, tell her my thoughts. I want to run away.
I snap out of my thoughts and extend my hoof, as if it has a mind of its own. Has Twilight magically raised my hoof? My heart races in my chest and I see images in my mind’s eye; Fluttershy saying no, leaving the room, my friends deserting me, myself as an old stallion sitting in a house all alone. My eyes drop to the floor as my heart punches against my chest, it’s hard to breathe.
But none of my thoughts come true. She takes my hoof in hers. And my body acts on its own and once again I am staring into Fluttershy’s eyes, this time with my jaw wide open. She smiles, laughs gently. My heart drops in my chest and I swallow the lump in my throat.
Vinyl plays the beginning of the next song and Fluttershy and I move hoof in hoof. Her yellow dress floats when she twirls under my foreleg and her cheeks turn red whenever our eyes meet. Time fades into memory, and now the only thing that’s real is this dance. My ears start to burn and I have to flex my legs to stop them from shaking. Fluttershy’s expression melts my innards, sets my heart a-thumping, and turns my gray muzzle red. It’s always the same reaction.
The song ends and I offer Fluttershy some punch. She kindly asks for a cup and I head back to the table where Big Mac and the others stand. He gives me a cup and nods. I look down into my cider and swirl the contents as if the answer may lay within. I gulp it down and ask for another. Big Mac gives me a fresh cup as well as refilling my own.
I head back onto the dancefloor and give Fluttershy her drink. We lift our ciders in a silent toast and drink deeply. On the dancefloor, everypony moves to the beat happily. Muffin dances with Dr. Whooves, the bowling ponies nod their heads to DJ’s sounds, Lyra and Bon Bon shake their tails, and Cloudchaser and Flitter get a group of ponies to jump up and down to the music.
Then Pinkie snatches Rainbow away and holds her close. “This is it,” she whispers.
“I knew you were up to something!” Rainbow says as she floats upwards. Fluttershy and I look at them. “What’s going on, Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy asks sweetly.
“Ah, well...” Pinkie thinks, bites her lip. “Okay! I can’t hold it anymore! Twilight and I are trying to get Fluttershy and Mighty together!” Dashie’s jaw drops and she spots me instantly in the crowd. All the muscles in my body flex and harden up. Fluttershy looks at me, but doesn’t say anything.
“That…Isn’t what I thought you were up to,” says Dash.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I say and I fly out the room.
It’s dark now, but the full moon lights Ponyville in a beautiful blue light. I land on the bridge and rest my hooves along the wooden beam and stare down into the water. The music from the party is a dull thumping in the distance. The rest of Ponyville is quiet except the occasional cool breeze blowing by.
Pinkie and Twilight tried to get me and Fluttershy together? Why? What made them think I wanted that? How did they know? Did Dash tell them? Wait, does she even know? “Mighty!” Dash calls.
“Ah!” I spin around, wings spread out. Rainbow lands beside me.
“The party’s still going on, so why are you out here?”
“Pinkie told you what she was up to.”
“Yeah? So?” Rainbow rests on the wooden beam and I join her. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“How do you know?”
“Ah, it’s obvious, duh. I remember you telling me about your crush on Fluttershy when we were fillies.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! And you get all… Weird around her.”
“I do not!” I argue. Rainbow smiles and sighs.
“I think we should go back to the party. I’ll carry you there if I have to. But, no matter what happens, we should go back,” Dash puts her hoof on my shoulder, “And I’ll be there.”
“Hold on. Earlier today you said you knew what Pinkie was up to, but you were surprised when she told you what was going on. What did you think she was planning?”
“I thought she was going to have a pony jump out of a cake or something,” Dash replies, but I don’t know how to respond.
“Riiight,” is all I say.
The flight back to the party seems to take a while, and Ponyville underneath moves just as slowly as time. Memories fill the empty streets. Memories of the friends I’ve made here, and of other parts of Equestria I’ve seen, strangely enough. I’m from Cloudsdale and I will forever love that place, and for many years it was always home. But after being in Ponyville for just a short time, I feel this place is home. But what of Flutterhsy? It’s almost as if I’ve been given a second chance to be with her, but I don’t know if it’s meant to be.
The party is still raging on when we return. The rainbow lights still flash throughout the room, the music is still loud, and the ponies are still hyped up. My close friends dance in a circle in the middle of the room. Dash and I join them, moving about wildly, fluidly, naturally.
With Dash dancing on my right, Fluttershy on my left, time once again fades into imagination. All that exists is here and now, the past and even the future do not belong. As soon as the room heats up from everypony’s body, a cool breeze blows through the windows to reinvigorate them. Us.
The party goes for hours, but my cider fueled body keeps on dancing. Until the end finally arrives. Vinyl sets up a slow track to signal the last song for the night, for everypony to calm down and relax a little. Fluttershy grabs my hoof and her blue eyes swirl with longing. With hooves on each other’s shoulders, we sway and circle throughout the room. A while passes before I realize how lost I am within her. I pull her closer to me. I regret doing so immediately, but she just smiles and continues to dance with me. My knees stop shaking, my ears stop burning, my heart stops racing.
If only I could do this forever, if only I had the power to make it so. The final song finishes and I hold her beautiful face in my hooves. Her spell bewitches me again and I feel helpless to my heart’s desires. I open my mouth, the words I want to say race through my mind. But nothing comes out. I look around, and everypony has vacated the dancefloor to watch us. They clap as the final note of music is played. They clap and clap, and Fluttershy is with me in the center of the world.
I imagine my future, a vision found within her eyes. No longer am I alone, but together with her. We sit on the porch together, swaying in our chairs with glasses of cider between us. She holds my hoof and my heart beats the way it did when I first met her. We spent a whole lifetime together and we still feel love. Fillies play on the grass before us.
But I cannot. I am Twilight’s royal guard. I lift Fluttershy’s hoof and kiss it gently, but perhaps for a moment too long. I already miss the future we could have had. I bow and leave the dancefloor. I also bow to Twilight and then fly outside.
Once again, I land on the bridge and stare into the river. Tiny ripples emerge in the water and I realize I’m crying. I wipe a tear from under my eye and look at it suspiciously, curiously. It’s been so long since I’ve cried. I know I’ve made the wrong decision, regret what I’ve done. Fluttershy, please forgive me.
And then somepony lands beside me. I know who she is, that she came from the air, from the party, came looking for me. She brings me into her embrace as we look upon the water. “Mighty,” she says, her voice as caring as ever. Her warmth is so strong, it could fuel me forever. I feel her heart beating for me.
“Twilight,” I say with a breath, “How could I be with Fluttershy when I am the only pony that protects you; the princess that governs that which is so important?”
“How could you do that, how could I let you do that, when you suffer so much? That contradicts everything I am supposed to represent.”
“It’s not right, Princess. I am your guard and nothing else. My happiness does not come before that of Equestria’s.”
“Are you not part of Equestria? Does your happiness not affect the happiness of the ponies around you? Does that not contribute to friendship and Equestria?”
“Perhaps you are right again, Princess. But I don’t know that for certain. I would rather my happiness go unfulfilled than let somepony else suffer in my stead. I can take it. It is my job to take it.”
“No, Mighty, it isn’t. Your job is to protect me from danger that I may not see and to help Equestria in my name either in my stead or when I am unable to. It was no potluck that the two sisters chose you to be my royal guard. Like your cousin, you are very loyal. But I cannot be the princess of friendship if my own friend chooses to live life unhappily.”
“Are we really friends, Princess? I mean, I always thought we were, and I always hoped, but I wasn’t sure. Your station is so far above mine I often wondered how we could ever be friends. And also, the last real friends I had turned out to be power driven and selfish. Sally Shield turned bad, and though I respect her brother he should have tried harder to steer her from a bad path. Since they manipulated everypony in order to use those strange gemstones, I’ve felt alone.”
“But you have Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, Applejack, so many ponies. And me. I’ve tried so hard to tell you that we don’t have to be so formal, so business-like, but you won’t let me in. Please, Mighty, let me in. Why can’t we be friends?”
“We can be,” I say without thinking Suddenly, I find myself searching for words and explanations. But there aren’t any, there won’t ever be, there isn’t supposed to be any. All that should be is friendship. True friendship, the type I always wanted. I worked with Sally Shield and Sketchy Sword for so long, but I never felt the same way I do about Twilight.
“Mighty?” Twilight says after a long moment.
“Twilight. Twilight, I would very much like to be your friend but I need help along the way. Please don’t abandon me, unless you’ve done all that you could.” A fresh tear runs down my muzzle.
“I would never abandon you, Mighty. Never. That’s what true friendship is about.” Twilight squeezes me in an embrace that feels as warm and loving as it is tight. Then Fluttershy lands beside us and takes a breath.
“Is everything all right?” she asks. Twilight stands tall and wipes a tear form her eye. She nods to me and smiles, and then winks, but another tear is about to fall. She quickly looks to Fluttershy and laughs, though a little awkwardly. And then she trots off, off the bridge and away into the night. Fluttershy and I are alone.
“Fluttershy,” I say as I lean on the wooden beam, “I don’t know how to say it.”
“I know,” she says. “I feel the same.” Our eyes meet in earnest again. Her expression is something I have never seen before, however. I hold her face in my hooves again.
“There are no words,” I tell her.
“You don’t have to say anything,” she says. We are both shaking as if it were winter. But, even so, I lean in, and she welcomes my lips. We kiss. It’s a soft and gentle kiss, but my heart swells with what it brings.
I was missing so much, I realize, but Twilight and Fluttershy have saved me from what could have been. I’m just glad I was open to others for a little while, else I would have truly been alone forever.
And nothing hurts more than loneliness, I know.
