“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to ‘Ain’t nothing but mammals’ – the beastliest game show out there!” the voice of the announcer tore me from my sleep, causing me to awake with a soft jolt before slowly opening an eye and looking at the flickering TV-screen in front of me.
I sat still a moment, then let out a long, tired sigh, closed my eye again, and ran my right hand over the sofa pillow next to me, blindly searching for the remote of my TV.
After a few, awfully drawn-out seconds, my hand finally got a hold of the black piece of plastic and the TV-screen died without a comment.
With another sigh, I forced my eyes open once again, the desire to just lean back and spend the rest of the night on my sofa seeming to grow stronger with every second.
However, remembering how terrible I had felt the last time I had spent a night on there, I gave myself a mental kick and sat up, noticing only now that my left hand was still buried underneath a warm, rising and sinking pile of soft, light blue fur.
I carefully wiggled my hand free, relishing the velvet sensation around my fingers. When I was young I had always thought that kittens or puppies had the softest belly fur – that is, until I had met her.
“Hey…”I whispered as I slowly pulled my hand from underneath her belly and led it up to her head which was still resting on my thigh, gently caressing her cheek, “Come on, it’s time to go to bed.”
She scrunched up her face, replying with a weak groan, and rolled over so that her face was pointing away from me.
“Come on…” I repeated myself, moving my hand from her cheek up to her forehead where I softly ran it through her white and blue mane, “We can’t sleep on the sofa again.”
She replied nothing, instead pretending to have fallen asleep again.
I looked at her, then rolled my eyes. “Oh well. If you want it that way…” Without another word I shoved her head off my thigh and scooted forward on my sofa, letting out a long groan as I arose to my tired feet.
“Mmmm … N-nnnnuuuuhhh…” she mumbled as I got up; one of her hooves blindly reached out and tapped on the sofa cushion in a vain attempt to get me to stay where I was.
I reached for the light switch and turned on the big ceiling light in my living room, gaining a groan of disagreement from her as she pinched her eyes close.
“Come on now.” I said once again as I turned back to look at her laying curled-up like a cat on my couch, hooves covering her eyes, “You can’t avert the inevitable.”
Once again, she remained completely silent, the only indicator that she was still conscious being her chest that slowly rose and fell.
“Hey, Colgate.” I said with a little more power, leaning towards her.
She didn’t react.
“Collie.” I continued, leaning even closer to her.
No signs of comprehension.
I brought myself face to face with the blue unicorn, a broad grin appearing on my face as I sweetly cooed, “Miiiinuette~”
A single, bloodshot, pinprick blue eye shot open, staring at me with the fury of a thousand suns.
“Yea?” she replied curtly.
Grinning, I pulled my head back, glad to see that I still knew how to push her buttons. “Come on, it’s time to hit the pillow. We fell asleep on the sofa again.”
“Naaah…” she muttered tiredly; the single eye closed again and she seemed to shake her head, rolling over and turning away from me.
“It’s just two minutes of getting up, walking into our bedroom, and laying down again.” I explained her in an equally tired voice, “I’m sure you’ll survive that.”
She seemed to reflect, saying nothing for a moment, before softly shaking her head again and giving me another, half-yawned “Naaah…”
I sighed, reflecting as I looked down at my friend. It took me a few moments to come to the conclusion that just standing there and watching her drift back to sleep will only help one of us to get a comfy night’s rest and leave the other one tired and red-eyed the next morning.
So I curtly decided to skip the thinking-part and just acted. Leaning forward, I carefully shoved my two hands underneath her body and slowly picked her up.
“Oof.” I gasped as I lifted her off my sofa, “You know, you’ve gained quite some weight recently. Maybe we should cut back on the donuts.”
The mare in my arms sighed softly, then whispered, “You know what they say about living in a glass house?” before wiggling herself comfortable in my arms and going limp like a sack of potatoes.
“Well,” I replied, grinning as I led a hand to her belly, “I may not be a supermodel, but I’m sure you can’t do this with my belly.” Confirmingly, I ran a hand through the light pudge that had grown in her middle region throughout the last couple of weeks, holding back a pleasant shudder at the incredibly soft sensation, and giggled, “See? Wiggle wiggle wiggle~”
The muffled growl I received in return was barely audible, but sufficed to inform me that I was indeed stepping on some very thin ice right now.
“Hey, I’m just kidding.” I quickly talked myself out of the danger zone and gently tickled her soft belly fur, “You’re still the cutest little mare I’ve ever seen.”
That seemed to pacify her enough to relax again and slump back into my arms with the thinnest of smiles on her face, causing me to look down and smile right back at her. “You sure you don’t wanna walk?” I asked her, yawning as my body once again reminded me how tired I really was.
I received no reply; the muffled sounds of her soft breathing seemed to indicate that she had fallen asleep again – or just wanted to make me think that she was sleeping.
However, not wanting to start an argument at this time of the day, I sighed and put my hand back under her body before slowly turning around and walking out of the living room.
Cradling Colgate in my arms I slowly passed through my hallway and headed for the door leading into our shared bedroom. Closing my eyes in pleasant anticipation, I could already see myself slumping onto my comfy mattress, feeling the soft touch of my pillow against my head, and let out a happy sigh as I stepped through the door and-
“What do you think you’re doing?” the sharp question came from somewhere below me.
I looked down and found a perfectly awake, fully conscious, and very reproachful pony sitting in my arms and looking up at me like a mother that had just caught her kid trying to steal from the cookie jar.
“I’m going to bed.” I informed her curtly and looked back up again, my thoughts drifting back to my oh so comfortable and tempting mattress.
“Without brushing your teeth!?” The question sounded outraged, as though I had just announced a mass shooting or a nuclear war.
I forced my eyes close, drawing in a sharp breath. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” I muttered through clenched teeth.
“I think I told you about how important dental hygiene is, didn’t I?” Colgate said, still with the voice of an admonishing mother, “So you should know better than to go to sleep without brushing your teeth!”
“I am tired.” I clarified soberly.
“So am I!” she assured me, “But your caries isn’t! And neither is your parodontitis! And I’ve never seen a form of cavities that care about whether you’re tired or not!” she tapped a hoof against my chest, “Come on now, it’s time to do brushie brushie!”
I sighed deeply, regretting that I’d gotten up from my sofa in the first place.
“Come ooon!” the blue pony repeated herself, gently punching her hooves into my chest, “The longer you wait now the longer it’s going to take you!”
Letting my shoulders sink and casting a wistful look into the direction of my bed, I slowly, reluctantly, turned around again, and walked over to my bathroom, gaining a cheerful “That’s the spirit!” from the pony in my arms.
Moments later, I stepped through the bathroom-door, not even bothering to turn on the ceiling light, and stopped in front of my sink, crouching down to set Colgate down.
“Hey, what are you doing?” she squealed in surprise as I lowered her to the ground.
“I am brushing my teeth.” I replied dryly, “Like you told me to.”
“But you don’t have to set me dooown!” she whined and I stopped in my movement, leaving the pony hovering a little more than one foot above ground.
I gave another tired sigh, then said, “And how am I supposed to brush my teeth with a full-grown and –if I may add- slightly pudgy mare in my arms?”
She looked up, scowling at me for a second before saying, “Here, look.” Her horn lit up, grabbing my and her toothbrush from the sink and applying a pinch of toothpaste to it before leading them up to my and her mouth, respectively.
“See?” she said with her toothbrush in her mouth, “It’s easy!”
Slightly amused, I rolled my eyes and arose again, taking Colgate with me as her magic carefully worked the toothbrush in my mouth.
Five minutes later, both of us were done, and thanks to the magical help of my friend I didn’t have to move a muscle as her magic put my toothbrush back in its place and she rinsed out her mouth.
“You know,” I said as I walked out of the bathroom with Colgate in my arms, unable to deny that I enjoyed the minty fresh sensation in my mouth, “why don’t you do this every night? It seems a lot easier to me.”
“Because you’re not supposed to get lazy, silly.” She replied with a light giggle in her voice, “I made an exception today because you were tired, but tomorrow you’ll have to do it yourself again!”
“Fine…” I muttered tiredly as I entered my bedroom, the thought of finally being able to sleep causing me to yawn again, “But for now let’s just sleep.”
As I received no reply, I looked down at me. It seemed Colgate was way ahead of me once again, as she had already made herself comfortable in my arms and closed her eyes.
“Well then…” I said as I stopped in front of her bed –which consisted of a set of pillows and a blanket at the foot end of my bed- and carefully lowered the sleeping mare onto it, “Sweet dreams…”
Stretching my tired arms, I got back to my feet and walked over to my bed, a pleasant shudder running through my body as I finally snuggled myself between my very comfortable mattress and my extraordinarily soft blanket, and rested my head on my incredibly snuggly pillow.
I closed my eyes, and felt myself drifting off to sleep within seconds.
That is, until I felt hooves walking on my bed and slowly coming closer.
Laboriously opening my eyes, I looked up, and saw nothing. My bedroom was pitch black, safe for a thin beam of moonlight shining through my window.
However, I felt something touching my side shortly after as a warm bundle of soft fur shoved itself underneath my blanket right next to me and let out a slightly irritated huff. “What are you thinking, claiming this huge bed all for yourself while I have to sleep on the ground? I’m not your dog, you know?” the reproachful question came after a few seconds.
I sighed softly, contemplating to pretend I had already fallen asleep, but then turned around to face the blue unicorn and said, “Right. A dog wouldn’t complain nearly as much.”
I could see her pout in the dim light, and put a hand on her cheek. “Hey, I’m just kidding. I’m always happy to share.” I assured her with a smile.
That seemed enough to cheer her up again, as she smiled back at me and replied with a soft, “Thanks…”
After a moment of unpleasant hesitation, she added, “I-I’m not … fat, am I?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
I replied nothing, just looking at her for a few moments, which caused her to become even more insecure. However, before she could say anything, I gave her a warm smile and said, “Of course not. There is virtually nothing wrong with a little pudge, and it definitely doesn’t make you ‘fat’.”
She didn’t seem to believe me at first, just looking at me with a cocked eyebrow, so I added, “And you can trust me, if I were a magical talking pony, I’d totally chase after you.” I said with a cheeky wink.
A light blush appeared on her face, but she smiled, looked to the side and said, “T-thank you. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” I replied, my smirk slowly turning into a thin smile. “Maybe we should still cut back on the donuts, though.”
“Hmmm, we’ll see about that.” Colgate put me off with a weak grin before turning over and muttering, “Good night.”
I looked at the backside of her head, frowning. “You know, I was being serious. These things aren’t good for your health, and not necessarily cheap either.”
A loud, resounding snore was all I got as a reply.
“And all that sugar is bad for your teeth too, you know?” I added for myself, but remained silent, deciding to grant her this little triumph, and instead closed my eyes too, feeling relieved to finally be able to sleep.
I ran a hand through her back fur, feeling the warmth of her body against my palm, the touch of her soft breathing against my fingers, and slowly drifted off into dreamland.
Truly, life was good.
Author's Note
I was feeling down and wrote this to cheer me up. Hope it had the same effect on you! ^_^
