Baking Bad

by XMark

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 20514

Twilight, diagnosed with a terminal illness, produces illegal drugs with Pinkie to support Spike

My Little Pony crossed with Breaking Bad:

Several years in the future, a middle-aged Twilight Sparkle is diagnosed with a terminal disease. Facing hospital bills and having severed all ties with Princess Celestia several years ago, and making a meager living as a magic kindergarten teacher, she realizes that she needs to make more money to be able to support Spike.

She sees her opportunity and teams up with Pinkie Pie to produce and sell the popular new illicit drug "Crystal Spark", but runs into difficulties keeping her activities secret, especially since Applejack and Rainbow Dash are leading the Ponyville unit of Princess Celestia's elite anti-drug task force.

Published 2012-06-27 12:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-25 06:53:42 UTC

Prologue

A plain yellow dress floated gracefully through the air, coming to rest on the ground shortly before a hot air balloon fell on top of it.

"Pinkie! Wake up!" Twilight Sparkle frantically grabbed the ropes of the deflating hot air balloon as it bounced across the rocky terrain. The sound of a roaring dragon echoed in the distance. Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were both wearing gas masks. Pinkie Pie was completely unconscious, and the two corpses that shared the basket of their balloon were in a worse state. One was a griffon, the other a unicorn.

The wind kept pushing the balloon faster, dragging it over more rocky terrain until the bottom of the basket clipped a rock and tipped over, spilling all four of them out onto the hard rocky ground. Burners, flasks full of chemicals, and other equipment spilled out among them. Twilight held out a hoof to stop herself from rolling. The ground was slightly inclined. Twilight watched a break-resistant flask bounce across the rocks, and fall out into open air, and that was when she realized she was mere inches away from a sheer hundred foot drop. Twilight noticed Pinkie Pie's limp body still sliding towards the edge. She concentrated her magic energy to lift Pinkie Pie up and safely dropped her next to a boulder.

Twilight struggled to stand up. She heard the dragon roaring again. Louder this time. It was coming for them! She limped towards the crashed and now completely deflated balloon. Her gas mask was cracked, and she could barely see. She took a deep breath and took off the gas mask. Twilight rifled through the debris, feeling some small painful shards of glass in her hooves. Found a scroll of paper and a quill. She quickly levitated those items and ran away from the balloon with them to a safe distance before breathing in again.

Another even louder dragon roar. It was now unmistakable to Twilight that the dragon was coming for her. She fumbled with the scroll, unrolling it until she had scrolled past all of her notes to some blank paper. She began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia,

This is not an admission of guilt. I only wish that you pass on

this message to my friends and my family, and that they know

everything I've done was for them.

Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Pinkie, you were always

my best friends and will be forever.

Spike, you were always there for me, and I love you like a son.

I hope you know that. You're my big dragon now. There are going

to be a lot of things about me that are going to come to light

very soon. Please know that I only had you in my heart.

Goodbye.

The next dragon roar was so loud she felt the ground shake. She could hear the beating of the dragon's wings. Twilight dropped her journal and looked around. She couldn't risk a teleport spell in her current condition and in unfamiliar mountainous terrain. No telling if they'd end up inside solid rock or in the air with a long drop. Her back to the cliff, she gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. She thought to herself "what would a brave pony like Rainbow Dash do?". She opened her eyes again, staring at the top of the mountain where she knew the dragon would appear soon. She would only get one shot. Her horn started humming and glowing as she built up the magical energy inside of her. She could feel the power surge through her body...

Diagnosis

TWO WEEKS EARLIER

Twilight looked out the window of her humble little house. It never failed. Every morning she would inevitably look at the old library which used to be her home in what seemed to be another life. A burning smell snapped her out of her nostalgia. She ran to the stove and flipped the pancakes she was cooking, which had unfortunately begun to burn on one side.

"Morning Twi!" said Spike, walking in from his bedroom and yawning. Spike was really starting to show his transition from baby dragon to young adolescent dragon. He was twice Twilight's height, and tiny green winglets had begun to sprout from his shoulders. His voice had dropped quite a bit recently.

Spike looked at the stove and held his nose. "More of your signature charcoal-flavored pancakes this morning?"

Twilight groaned. "If you don't like my breakfasts you could try cooking it yourself. Try doing it by breathing fire instead of using the stove."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because then you'd spend a few minutes without making any snarky comments."

Twilight floated the pancakes and some scrambled eggs over to the dinner table, and pulled a couple of chairs.

"Hey Twi..." Spike nudged Twilight in the side. "did you know that you don't have to cook gems?"

"You know as well as I do that I can't afford to feed you gems every day. Besides, YOU'RE not the one having a birthday today."

Spike smiled warmly. "Awwww. I was just about to wish you a happy birthday, honest!"

"I believe you, Spike." Twilight kissed him on the forehead. "Now eat your damn charcoal-flavored pancakes."

-

In a small room near Canterlot Castle, Twilight levitated a piece of chalk and spelled out the name Starswirl on the blackboard.

"Does anyone who this is?" she asked her Magic Kindergarten class.
The little unicorns all stared at her blankly. One started to telekinetically pick his own nose.

"Really?" gasped Twilight. "Starswirl the Bearded! He's probably the most important wizard in the history of Equestria! Back when Equestria was first founded, he developed magical techniques for the unicorns that allowed them to work together with Earth ponies to farm the land, and to help the Pegasi more efficiently control the weather."
Blank stares.

"The pegasi could create tornados to bring water up into the clouds for rain, but with a little magical spark to start the air swirling, they could do it with half as much wingpower. Meanwhile other unicorns who had trained in detection magic honed their skills to locate the richest soil and pools of groundwater."

None of the unicorns were listening to Twilight, but she continued anyway. "The interesting thing about this is that, while Starswirl's magic spells were designed for specific practical purposes, the overall goal was completely different. Three races who had been at each others' throats for generations, at last working together towards a common goal. Like pieces of a puzzle coming together, you can see the whole picture. His ultimate magic spell was one of genuine friendship. Friendship, you see, is magic."

Twilight smiled brightly and emitted a noise that can only be described as a squee.

One filly raised her hoof.

"Yes, Stardust?"

"What's the spell that blows things up?"

Twilight facehoofed.

-

The Friendship Express came to a halt at Ponyville station. Twilight got off with the other passengers, sighing to herself.

Another birthday. She wondered which birthday it was exactly that she began to think more about getting older than about the party. She remembered so many years ago, wearing that yellow party dress, dancing like a maniac in the middle of a bunch of snooty stuck-up Canterlot ponies, just not giving a buck what anyone thought. Those days seemed long gone.
Twilight was supposed to meet Spike at the library to help him look up some information about, well, something. Twilight forgot what it was because it was an obvious ruse to set up a surprise Birthday party for her. She resolved to act as surprised as possible. Twilight opened the door to the library and walked into a darkened room, pretending not to hear the ponies shuffling around. Three. Two. One.

"Surprise!"

Unsurprisingly, when the light came on Twilight had a face full of Pinkie Pie. "Isn't it so awesome! I think there's even more ponies here than there were last year, and there were a lot of ponies here last year and I was like WHOA are we all gonna fit in here? But then we did, and we do this year too! And the Cakes baked you a cake and the cake that the Cakes baked is going to be the most delicious thing ever but I couldn't resist it so I ate it and they had to bake you another one which might not be quite as good as the first one because they were a little tired, but I'm sure it's great anyway 'cause they don't make bad cakes and UH OH, TWITCHY TAIL! TWITCH-A-TWITCH!"

Everypony in the room dived for cover.

"Gotcha!" giggled Pinkie, a mischevious grin on her face.

Sighs of relief echoed through the library as they all retreated from their hiding places.

"So where's this cake anyways?" asked Twilight, a second before it landed on her head seemingly out of nowhere. "PINKIEEEEEE!"

-

Ten minutes later, Twilight was still in the bathroom, trying to get icing out of her mane. She was particularly annoyed at some gray icing that just wouldn't come out of one strand. Suddenly, she became aware that it was not gray icing she was looking at, but gray hair. Her first one.

"Guess I'm officially old starting today." Twilight sighed, blowing the hair away from her face.

She walked back into the main room of the library. The usual DJ that Rarity and Pinkie Pie hired for occasions was there, playing some very loud techno music which Twilight imagined didn't play in libraries very often. Some ponies were dancing, some were talking. Applejack and Rainbow Dash hoof-wrestling at a table. Rarity and Fluttershy having a conversation about the dresses they wore to the party. Pinkie Pie was bouncing in place to the beat of the song by herself, eyes closed, gigantic smile on her face. Twilight had no idea what it was that kept Pinkie Pie so happy and energetic all the time.

A feeling of depression that had been welling up under the surface all day was dangerously close to coming out. She had one day been Princess Celestia's student. She had such a bright future ahead of her, phenomenal magic powers, and an amazing grasp of many different scientific fields. Combining magic and chemistry together she could have even been a famous mage or inventor. Maybe some nerdy pony in the future would dress up as Twilight the Purple for Nightmare Night.

But at some point she just lost some spark, some drive to push herself to greatness. How did she end up becoming the most overqualified Magic Kindergarten teacher in Equestria? Temporarily forgetting where she was, she dropped her head.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were having yet another hoof-wrestling match when they both saw Twilight. They immediately stopped and walked toward her.

"What's the matter, sugarcube?" asked Applejack.

"You feeling old or something?" asked Rainbow Dash. Applejack shot an annoyed a glance at Rainbow, who had already realized her own faux pas.

"Something like that." sighed Twilight. "Sorry, didn't mean to bring anyone down with me. It's a party. Let's have fun!"

Applejack patted Twilight on the back. "Ah do believe the karaoke's about to start. Do y'all wanna duet with me?"

Rainbow Dash reared up and flapped her wings. "Hey, nobody's singing before me!"

"So..." Twilight started, hoping she could finish figuring out something conversational to say while she was talking. "How's your new job been treating you two?"

Applejack chuckled to herself. "Aw shucks, ah don't wanna sound like a showoff or nothin'..."

"But I do!" Interrupted Rainbow Dash. "We're the best in the business! The ultimate team! No criminal punk is safe when team Appledash is on patrol!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Appledash? You know ah don't like that name. But anyway, ah'll let you know, the latest drug bust we co-ordinated got us three arrests and 16 pounds of pure uncut Crystal Spark."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Just curious. How much money is that worth?"

"How much you got on you?" said Rainbow Dash.

Applejack shot her a stern look.

"Oh come on, AJ" laughed Rainbow. "I'm just horsing around. But seriously, 16 pounds has about 30,000 bits street value, give or take a couple thousand."

"Wow" said Twilight. "Why are they producing it in Ponyville so much? I thought this was a nice quiet place."

"Location." said Applejack. "Ah reckon Ponyville's the perfect place to set up shop. We got most of the raw materials naturally, and we're right between Canterlot and Manehattan. You'd be surprised how many o' them hoity-toity ponies up there are addicted to the stuff." she paused a second. "Ah don't mean Hoity Toity himself."

Twilight contemplated some of the mathematical figures in her head. She knew the primary ingredients were Sapphire and Jade crystals, all which were plentiful in the areas surrounding Ponyville. With the right magic spell to fuse them together, and with the populations of Manehattan and Canterlot as the primary markets...

"Twi! Why don't you just go ahead and ask us?" said Rainbow Dash, putting her hoof on Twilight's shoulder.

"Huh?" said Twilight, suddenly wondering how much of her thoughts her face had betrayed.

"You know you wanna come along with team Appledash on one of our patrols, see how we take care of business!"

"Oh, I don't know..." said Twilight. "Would I just be in your way?"

"Ah'll let you in on a secret, sugarcube." Applejack smiled. "99% of the job ain't nothin' like in yer adventure books. Lots of sitting around watchin' ponies. And we ain't even the ones chasin' down the bad ponies. We just point the royal guards in the right direction."

Rainbow Dash jumped in the air and hovered excitedly. "Three days from now we're gonna kick one of the biggest Crystal producers in Ponyville right in flank!" she air-kicked for emphasis. "You gotta come with us and see the action!"

"Oh I don't know." said Twilight. She attempted to change the subject. "So, AJ, how's the farm?"

Applejack smiled proudly. "Applebloom is provin' to be one heck of an applebucker. Maybe even better than ah was back in mah prime."

Twilight nodded. "Nice to know it's in good hooves."

-

The day after, Twilight was back to work. The Friendship Express train took its daily path up the mountain to Canterlot. Twilight yawned, looking out the window to the towers of Canterlot. Twilight was slightly aware that she was breathing faster than normal. Canterlot was getting blurry and out of focus. The train went dark as it entered a tunnel. Suddenly Twilight's heart rate increased. She shifted uncomfortably in place at the sudden unexpected feeling. The darkness of the tunnel seemed to be closing in around her. Her horn began to glow faintly on its own and sweat was breaking out all over. She tried to reach for the window to open it to let some air in but at that moment the train emerged from the tunnel and the blast of light overwhelmed her vision. She screamed and fell backwards, her vision pure white, gasping for air until she lost consciousness. She could faintly hear the sound of concerned ponies around her.

-

"Twilight Sparkle?" said the doctor. "Do you understand what I just told you?"

She was staring at the doctor's mane, everything else in the world completely out of focus. She felt dizzy and disoriented, and thought she heard a ringing in her ears. But she had heard every word.

"Yes," she said, staring blankly. "I'm suffering from horn rot."

The doctor chose his words carefully. "It's very important that you fully understand the extent of your illness. I'm not sure if you've..."

"Yes, I understand." still blank, still staring at the doctor's mane. "If I had caught it earlier I could have had my horn amputated to extend my life at the cost of my magic ability. But the infection has already spread to my brain. With good treatment I could live two years, but the last eight months or so my brain will have deteriorated significantly. It's just... well... your mane. It looks like a muffin."

The doctor gave her a confused look.

A Crazy Idea

Twilight Sparkle arrived at her home after sunset, walking around in a daze, still trying to come to terms with her terminal illness. She had talked at length with the doctor about the details of horn rot, what symptoms would arise at different stages of the disease, which medications she could take to prevent an episode like in the train tunnel, alternative treatments, counsellors. Through the whole day she had not shed a single tear. Her mind was processing the information, planning out checklists for her ongoing treatment. So much information to process, so many pieces of data to sort out. It kept her mind occupied but It was only a matter of time until the emotions would hit her like a falling piano.

She opened the door to her house and walked in.

"Twilight, you're sure home late!" said Spike. "You look a little pale, are you all right?"

Twilight managed her best smile. "Oh, I ran into Rarity in Canterlot and she convinced me to go shopping with her. So many shops... Luckily I had the willpower not to buy anything."

"That's weird, I thought she was working in Carousel Boutique all day."

Twilight started to turn the gears in her head to find a way to explain her story, but thankfully Spike just shrugged his shoulders. Spike turned his back to Twilight.

"Hey, Twi, check this out!" said Spike. Twilight looked in fascination at Spike. The tiny winglets in his shoulders were wiggling back and forth.

"Are you doing that? You’re actually consciously controlling your wings?”.

Spike smiled proudly. "Just learned today! And from what I've read, my wings should grow big enough to start flying in about 10 years!"

Twilight clapped her hooves together. "Amazing! I can't wait to see..." she trailed off.

Spike stopped wiggling his wings and started to say something when Twilight suddenly burst into tears and ran up to him, hugging him closely. Confused, he put his arm around her. "What's the matter?"

Twilight still couldn't say anything. She sobbed deeply, unable to let him go. She couldn't tell Spike yet - she didn't even know how. She would have to some day when her condition became more visible. And since Spike was going to live a hundred times longer than her anyways, they both knew they would have to confront the issue of her mortality some day. But now that day would be much sooner than later. When she could control her voice again, she started to think of an explanation for her outburst.

"I was..." Twilight sniffed. "I was thinking of the future, when you would grow up to be a full-grown dragon and I'd be long gone. I was picturing when you'd fly away, and I just couldn't help what I was feeling."

The best lies were mixed with truth. Thinking of the implications of their differing lifespans had brought her to tears privately many times in the past, and she was sure that it was the same for Spike.

"You really shouldn't think of that now." said Spike, who sounded a little choked up himself. "I always tell myself that that's Future Spike's problem. We're here together now. And that's all that matters."

Twilight backed away from Spike and wiped the tears from her eyes. "You're right... it's a silly thing to think of right now. Really, I'm just happy to see you're growing up. And to think I knew you when you were just a cute little spotted egg."

Twilight managed a weak smile, turned around and headed to the door. "Spike... I'll be back in a few minutes. I just need to... clear my head."

Twilight forced another smile and clumsily left the house. She could feel Spike's concerned and confused look behind her without even seeing it.

-

No, Twilight. Stop thinking about this.

Back during her birthday party, an idea had first entered her head as kind of a joke. A funny what-if scenario mixed with some wishful thinking and a bit of an adventurous spirit. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had let her know how much money was involved in the production of Crystal Spark, and she had an advanced knowledge of both chemistry and magic. She could....

Dammit, no, Twilight. Listen to yourself. Why are you even considering this?

She walked aimlessly around town as the last of the sun dipped below the horizon, her mind racing. The sensible side of her was saying that it was too risky, that she'd never done anything illegal before (well, there was that one time that she snuck into the Canterlot library when it was closed... sort of... nah, that didn't count). Drug production was nothing that she ever imagined she would do, but a series of purely logical thoughts had presented themselves in order. Check marks on a checklist that she couldn’t uncheck.

As she crossed over one of the small bridges towards the edge of town, the two sides of her mind were still in conflict with each other. She reminded herself that Spike was a growing dragon living among ponies, still in his early adolescent years. His connection with ponies was too strong to leave on his own and live with dragons. He was determined to live in Ponyville and fit in there. But it would be incredibly expensive just to keep him fed well enough. His growth would be stunted otherwise. She'd have to feed him gems occasionally to keep his fire strong, and with her salary as a magic Kindergarten teacher she could only afford the bare minimum requirements. Before today, she would have been able to do it, but with medical bills for treating her horn rot, the math just didn’t work out. And those fancy mathematics just muddied the issue - the fact was that she would be dead far too soon, and dead ponies don’t have dependable income.

She had to talk herself out of this somehow. There were other ways to make money. She could get a second, even a third job. She could swallow her pride and open communication with Princess Celestia again. As she approached Sweet Apple Acres, she took a deep breath and reassured herself that this crazy idea would put itself to bed by tomorrow. She knocked on the door of the Apple Family's home. Apple Bloom opened the door.

"Twilight?" said Apple Bloom. Twilight was amazed at just how much she looked like Applejack now, except for her red mane. "Ah'm sorry, I didn't know y'all were comin' over tonight, ah would've saved some apple pie!"

"Oh that's quite all right" said Twilight. "I actually just wanted to talk to your sister for a minute. Is she available?"

"Hold on a sec." Apple Boom turned around. "AJ! TWILIGHT'S HERE TO SEE YA!"

Twilight jumped slightly. Somehow she was always surprised at how loud Apple Bloom could yell.

"ALL RIGHT, HOLD YER HORSES, AH'M COMIN'" came Applejack's voice in the background.

Apple Bloom looked back at Twilight. "Y'know, ah think that it's been a long time since we talked. How ya been?"

"Oh, all right. You know, more of the same."

"Y'all should come over some time." said Apple Bloom. "Catch up on things. We ain't seen nearly enough of each other lately."

"Sure." said Twilight.

Applejack arrived at the door, and Apple Bloom excused herself.

"Hey, AJ. Just letting you know, I'm going to take you up on your offer. To come along with you on that... drug bust... thing."

"Aw shoot!" said Applejack.

"What?"

"Ah mean, that's great, Twi. It's just that ah owe Rainbow 10 bits now."

"Wh... why?"

"She bet me 10 bits that you'd do it, ah said you wouldn't. Guess ah was lyin'. Ya reckon I'm still the element of honesty now?"

"I don't think that really counts as dishonesty. You were making a prediction into the future and according to Starswirl's uncertainty principle, nothing can be predicted in its entirety, even at the subatomic level and..."

Applejack laughed out loud. "Ah wasn't talkin' seriously there. Y'all need to relax a bit."

Twilight facehoofed and giggled nervously. "Well... I guess I'll... yeah, see ya later!"

-

"You see that house over there?" said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight was hiding in a bush with Applejack and Rainbow Dash. She floated a pair of binoculars to her face and peered through. "Which one?"

"The one with the chimney." said Applejack. "Next to that tall one."

"Yeah, I see it." Twilight zoomed in on the windows.

Rainbow Dash nudged her head to the side a bit so she could look into the binoculars too. "Movement! I see a shadow!"

Applejack grinned. "Yeehaw, looks like we ain't gonna be waitin' here all day. Give 'em the signal."

"The signal?" said Rainbow Dash in a joking tone, barely suppressing a giggle. "Whatever do you mean? Could you be more specific?"

Applejack sighed and rolled her eyes. "Flash 'em the triple-wingboner."

Rainbow Dash flipped her wings up out of the bush three times. "Twilight, look over to the left!"

Twilight zoomed back out and looked to the left. A large wagon pulled by a donkey was approaching. It didn't look like it, but from what Rainbow and Applejack had told her, it had a team of royal guards hidden inside, ready to storm the building.

"This is gonna be so awesome!" said Rainbow Dash, her hooves up to her cheeks. "Get this, Twi. Our soon-to-be arrested mystery pony always likes to mix his Crystal with sarsaparilla. Word on the street is it gives it some sass, whatever the hay that means. And he goes by the handle of 'Sir Oatmeal'. Weirdest name ever. I'll bet it's an Earth pony."

"Oatmeal?" said Applejack. "Are you crazy? That's a pegasus name if ah ever heard one. Y'all got yer heads literally in the clouds all day, gives ya funny ideas."

"I got 20 bits that says this guy's got hooves in the dirt."

"Yer on!"

The wagon came to a stop. Six royal guards spilled out, fully armored and moving with efficient speed. They quickly formed two lines of three each, one team running towards the back, the other towards the front. Each team consisted of a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony. The pegasi and earth ponies carried spears in their mouth. At the front door, Twilight saw that the unicorn was standing directly in front of the door, his horn starting to glow, head down with the horn pointing towards the center of the door. The pegasus hovered just above the door, and the earth pony was positioned against the wall to the side of the door. She could only see the pegasus from the back door team floating above the house, but assumed that they were doing the same thing. The pegasus in the back raised his hoof as a signal, and the one in the front did the same. When they both lowered their hooves to complete the signal and silently synchronize both teams, there was a sudden bright flash from the unicorn's horn, so bright that Twilight dropped her binoculars for a second.

She hovered the binoculars up again. She could see that the door had been blown off of its hinges and the pegasus and earth pony guards were already inside, with the unicorn following them. She saw some more bright flashes of light (she assumed the unicorns were projecting flash-bang spells to disorient anyone inside). She heard a crashing sound, and a loud and gruff-sounding female scream.

"Oatmeal's a mare? Didn't expect that." said Applejack.

Rainbow Dash hovered up above the bush. "Now we'll see who was right."

Applejack and Twilight both stepped out from the bush, not needing to keep a low profile anymore. Twilight kept the binoculars up and kept looking at the front door, and saw the two Earth ponies coming out the front door, dragging a disoriented and tied up criminal out with them.

"Ah see wings." said Applejack with a smile. "Thank ya kindly fer yer 20 bit contribution to the apple fund!"

Twilight adjusted the focus to get a good look at the criminal. "Nope. You were both wrong. It's a griffon." she looked at them both. "Guess the bet's off?"

Rainbow Dash sighed in relief. She started to laugh, but then suddenly her eyes went wide open. She swooped down and pushed Twilight roughly out of the way to look through the binoculars again. "Oh Celestia. Tell me it's not... it's... it's Gilda."

Applejack's grin disappeared. She put her hoof on Rainbow's shoulder, a concerned look on her face. Rainbow pushed her hoof away, then hovered up in the air with her forelegs crossed in front of her. "She made her choice. Guess Ponyville wasn't too lame for her after all."

After a moment of awkward silence, Twilight spoke up. "Would it be all right if I had a look inside the drug lab?"

Applejack put her hoof to her chin and thought for a second. "Listen, ah'm gonna go ahead and check that everything's under control. Y'all just wait here 'till ah get back."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash went off to talk with the guards at the scene.

Momentarily by herself, Twilight continued watching through her binoculars. She was still curious about the Crystal Spark trade, but what she had seen today pretty much convinced her that it wouldn't be worth the trouble. She would be going directly against an elite anti-drug task force organized by Celestia herself. And the Ponyville unit was led by two of her best friends. There's no way she could hope to go up against a force like that. She doubted there were any books in the library that could tell her how to deal drugs and how to stay out of trouble.

Twilight sighed in resignation. She was just about to give up when she caught a sudden flash of pink movement in her peripheral vision. It came from the second-floor window of the building next to the one where they nabbed Gilda. Twilight jumped back into the bush and focused in on the window. A face peeked up in the window.

Pinkie Pie.

"What are you doing here?" Twilight whispered to herself as she observed Pinkie in fascination.

Pinkie was nervously looking right and left. There were the remains of chocolate and icing around her mouth and in her mane. She dipped out of sight again and appeared a moment later wearing a comically large stovepipe hat, thick-rimmed glasses, and a false moustache. She carefully crept out of the window and stepped onto the thin ledge.

One of the guards walked out around the front of the house and Pinkie Pie struck a pose, apparently trying to act as if she were a statue. A very strange and colorful statue that was hanging out the second floor window of a house. Luckily for her, the guard didn't think to look up. He was just walking to the wagon.

Pinkie Pie let out a breath of relief after the guard passed by, and wiped her hoof across her face. Unfortunately the motion wiped the false moustache off and it floated out in front of her. Frantically realizing that her brilliant disguise was ruined she jumped away from the window and reached out to grab it.

Twilight's binoculars went out of focus for a second so she wasn't entirely sure, but it seemed to her that Pinkie Pie hovered in the air for a good 3 seconds or so, fixing the false moustache back onto her face before looking down and falling the moment she realized she wasn't standing on anything.

The guard, hearing the noise, turned around, but Pinkie had landed into a sideways roll that left her hidden behind a hay bale. The guard walked up toward the bale. Pinkie jumped into it backwards, leaving nothing but her hat, glasses, and moustache visible at the top of the bale. The guard walked around the hay bale where Pinkie was just seconds ago, looking intently at it and obviously sensing something was not right.

Sweat broke out on Twilight's forehead. It was only a matter of time before the guard saw it. About 10 agonizing seconds later, the guard finally looked up. He immediately leapt to the top of the hay bale, knocking off the top bits of hay along with the pieces of Pinkie Pie's disguise. Twilight gasped.

Pinkie Pie wasn't there.

"What?" said Twilight, shocked. "Where's Pinkie Pie?"

"Here I am!" said Pinkie, in the bush right next to Twilight.

Twilight jumped and managed to shove her hoof into her own mouth fast enough to muffle her scream. How in the hay did she get there so fast?

"Whatcha doin' out here Twilight?" said Pinkie Pie, tilting her head and blinking rapidly. "Spying on me without me noticing again?"

"What am I doing? What are YOU doing?" Twilight said in a hoarse whisper. "You're... you're Mr. Oatmeal!"

"Well, not anymore, silly. They think that's Gilda so I need to come up with a new name. Ooh! Maybe Mr. Muffin, or Ms. Pancake, or Dr. Swizzle Straw, or..."

Twilight shoved her hoof in Pinkie's mouth, silencing her momentarily. "Let me get this straight... you are one of the biggest producers of Crystal Spark in Ponyville, or at least you were before the raid today?"

"Mmm hmm" said Pinkie.

Twilight let her hoof fall from Pinkie's mouth. "I... I don't believe it."

"Please, pretty please with a cherry on top, don't tell the others about this! After today, I'm back to square one. No! Even less than square one. Square zero! Except that a zero is a circle, not a square! The guards are gonna take everything!"

Twilight looked back to the house and realized that Applejack and Rainbow Dash were on the way back to her.

"Pinkie, you have to get out of here. AJ and Rainbow are coming back."

"You promise not to tell them?" said Pinkie, puppy-dog eyes at full power.

"I promise, now go!" whispered Twilight.

"Pinkie Promise?"

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and went through the well-rehearsed motions. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. GET OUT!"

"Seeya later!" Pinkie Pie bolted away in a flash.

-

Later that night, Twilight knocked on the front door of Sugar Cube corner. She waited a few seconds, knocked again, waited again. No response. She walked around to the back and saw several holes dug into the ground.

Pinkie Pie's head popped up from one of the holes. "Oh hey Twilight!"

Before Twilight could say anything she disappeared into the hole again. Pinkie dug furiously, flinging dirt out the hole. Twilight stepped to the edge of the hole and looked in. Nobody there.

Pinkie Pie emerged from another hole behind her, startling her. "You wanna help me dig?"

Twilight turned around. "What are you digging for?"

"I had some money hidden under the dirt for a rainy day. It's not raining, but I really need that money now. I wish I remembered where I hid it!"

Twilight looked around at all the holes in the ground. She saw something odd. "There's a big red X painted there. Think that might be a clue?"

Pinkie Pie popped out of her hole (yet another different hole - Twilight just didn't question it). "I knew there was some reason why I painted that! You sure are a smarty pants, Twi!" Pinkie Pie started digging at the X.

"Pinkie, I'm here because I think we can help each other. I can get you back in the game."

"What game?" asked Pinkie. "Are we playing already? Did I lose? Best two out of three?"

"I mean the Crystal Spark game."

"Oh, that wasn't a game. I was doing that for real!"

Twilight facehoofed. "No, I don't mean like a real game, I mean a... Let me start again. I can help you get back into the business of producing and selling Crystal Spark."

"Really?" said Pinkie, stopping her digging. She looked at Twilight quizzically. "This isn't like baking cupcakes. Nobody has a problem with you when you're baking cupcakes. Especially if there's lots of chocolate, and candy sprinkles. This is bad stuff! And you're a goody four-shoes! No nice little niceypants like you just starts BAKING BAD overnight!" Pinkie Pie looked away from Twilight, winking towards some imaginary audience.

Twilight groaned. "Look... I've been doing the research. I know the chemical components, I know where they're found, and I have the magic skills to put everything together. You have connections. You know everyone in Ponyville. You know how to get the product moving. Together we can make a lot of money."

"Now hold your horses!" said Pinkie. "I don't need you to bake for me! I can do it myself just fine!"

Twilight laughed. "I saw your lab after you left earlier today. I'm surprised you were even able to make anything with that amateur setup. Have you ever even read a single science textbook? And sarsaparilla? Really?"

"Hey, sarsaparilla is my signature! It gives it more sass, silly!"

"I'm giving you an opportunity here." said Twilight, glaring at her intensely. "We can do it my way, or I can turn you in to the Canterlot guards."

Pinkie gasped. "You said you wouldn't tell anypony! You Pinkie Promised!"

Twilight continued to glare at Pinkie. "Yes, I Pinkie Promised." Her horn glowed as she telekinetically picked up a cupcake from inside Sugar Cube Corner. "I said... cross my heart and hope to fly..." Without breaking eye contact with Pinkie, she floated the cupcake out the window. "Stick a cupcake..." she flung the cupcake directly at her own open left eye.

The intent of the action was simply to prove to Pinkie that she was serious. However, sticking a cupcake in your eye, as it turned out, was a lot more painful than she expected. Twilight screamed and rolled around the floor, icing and tears flowing from her eye. Pinkie Pie stared down at Twilight, slack-jawed and confused.

"Ohhhh it hurts! My eye hurts so much!" screamed Twilight. "Why did I do that? Aaah!"

Pinkie Pie continued staring. Twilight continued rolling around in pain.

"Aaaagh! I hate cupcakes today! Damn you, cupcake! So much pain! My world is nothing but pain!" Twilight curled into a ball, sobbing.

Finally, Pinkie finished processing all the options in her mind. "Okey Dokey Lokey!"

Back in the Saddle

Gilda paced back and forth in her cell in the Canterlot dungeon. It was bad enough that her operation had been shut down by Celestia's anti-drug task force. Somehow the boredom of the dungeon and not being able to fly were far worse.

Light unexpectedly streamed into the room as the door to the dungeon opened. Gilda closed her dark-adjusted eyes until the door closed again. Rainbow Dash walked in.

"Are you here to gloat?" asked Gilda, not making eye contact. "Because if you're here to interrogate me, I ain't telling you shit until you officially charge me of something. I got rights."

"Nothing like that" said Rainbow Dash on the other side of the bars. "I'm not here as a cop, I'm just Rainbow Dash now. Can we talk?"

Gilda scowled. "What in Equestria can we talk about? There's been nothing between us for years. We're done."

"We were friends! Best friends!" said Rainbow Dash, her voice shaking. "We knew everything about each other! Maybe we went different ways, but I still care about you."

"Well, that's your problem." Gilda sat down on her bed, facing away from Rainbow.

"Fine! Look away from me, but I'm still gonna say what's on my mind. I don't know why you turned to the Crystal Spark business. I don't know what you've been up to the past few years. I just want you to know, I can help you get back on the right path once you get out. There are programs for ex-cons to reintegrate into society and I know..."

Gilda suddenly got off the bed and charged at her. Rainbow barely jumped back in time to avoid Gilda's claw swipe. Gilda roared in Rainbow's Face, leaning as far forward as she could through the bars. Rainbow Dash fixed her with a stare, filled with equal parts rage and hurt.

"I don't need your damn help!" screamed Gilda. "I don't give a flying feather what you think of me. We are nothing! Understand?"

The door opened and a couple of guards rushed in. Rainbow Dash raised her hoof to signal that everything was okay. She walked out the door without a word. The moment Rainbow was out of sight, Gilda allowed herself to start crying.

-

In the Ponyville office of the EADTF (Equestrian Anti-Drug Task Force) Applejack sat at her typewriter, finishing her report for Gilda's arrest. It was a proud day for the Ponyville unit, weeks of hard work tracking down the distributor. The atmosphere of the office was far more positive and happy than usual, and everypony who passed by her desk congratulated her on the work that she and Rainbow Dash had put into shutting down Mr. Oatmeal's operation.

But the more she looked at the data, the less it made sense. Gilda's criminal record was full of petty crimes, but nothing drug-related. In fact, it was quite rare for griffons to get involved with Crystal Spark in any way. In her experience, it was usually unicorns who produced the stuff, because their magic made the process much easier. But if it was an Earth pony, they would need the assistance of a unicorn, or at least someone with a hand instead of a hoof. The kind of reactive chemicals you were working with, you'd be an idiot to pick them up in your mouth (though she had seen a few such idiots and the damage they caused to their faces).

Applejack looked to the report of the items they had seized from the lab. About half of the equipment had specialized mouth handle attachments for Earth pony accessibility. Applejack sighed. "Might owe you that 20 after all, Rainbow."

-

Twilight walked to the center of town. She wore an eyepatch over her recently cupcaked eye, and still wondered what in the hay she was thinking last night. She saw Pinkie Pie sitting on a bench, wearing a fake beard and a monocle. Twilight groaned and walked up to her.

"Everypony recognizes you." said Twilight. "Might as well drop the disguise."

"Pardonnez moi?" said Pinkie Pie in a French accent. "I am not le Pinkie de Pie, madame! You are le mistaken! But if I was zis Pinkie zat you are speaking of, I would say - ze pony on ze hill is purple. It snows on ze rock farm in August."

"We didn't make up any secret code language. Do you even know what you're saying?"

"I am saying - ze pony on ze hill is purple. It rains on ze plains in Manehattan."

Twilight's horn glowed as she ripped the beard and monocle off. Pinkie grinned. "Aw, you got me!"

"This is serious business, Pinkie!" Twilight lowered her voice so nopony in town could hear what they were discussing. "Now listen, I have access to some supplies from the school in Canterlot. Burners, test tubes, beakers, flasks. Over the next week I can smuggle them out one or two pieces at a time. I also have some scientific equipment of my own that I can repurpose for our needs. Then we can get our lab set up properly. I wrote you a list of ingredients."

Twilight levitated a scroll with the materials written out neatly, with empty check boxes to the left of each. Pinkie Pie looked the list up and down.

"I can get some Rainbow Juice from sugar cube corner." said Pinkie. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake don't use it very much but they have a lot in stock. They probably won't even notice it missing. I have some ponies who get me the jade and sapphire dust regularly."

"Can we trust these ponies?"

"Yeah, totally! Definitely! Sort of! Maybe?"

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Who are these ponies? Have I met them before?"

Pinkie Pie smiled brightly. "Yep!"

Twilight waited for a few moments, while Pinkie Pie looked around and rocked slightly back and forth. "Uh... are you gonna tell me who they are?"

"Snips and Snails." said Pinkie Pie sheepishly.

"No."

"Well wait a minute there, silly. Do you know anypony else who can get that stuff? 'Cause I sure don't. And I'm the pony with the pony skills here. The pony pony!"

"Fine. But only you deal with them. In fact, nopony should ever see me. And nopony should ever know my name."

"Ooh! Oooh! You're gonna have a secret code name! What's your code name gonna be? Wait, let me guess... Spylight Twarkle? Druggy McCookerson? Purply Pie? The Sparkler? Heisenberg?"

"I'll figure something out. That's not important for now. We need a plan. We need to be efficient. We need to be organized. Now, is there anything else we need to discuss before we can start?"

"Just one itty bitty issue." said Pinkie. "We need a place to cook."

"What? You've been the sole owner of Sugar Cube corner ever since the Cakes opened a new one in Manehattan. Why can't we cook there?"

"Ever tried to cook cupcakes in the same oven after cooking Crystal Spark? Let me tell ya, those are some kooky cupcakes!"

Twilight paused to think. "On second thought, I don't think anywhere within the borders of Ponyville is safe to cook. Celestia has her eyes set on Ponyville. We need to find somewhere that we won't be bothered. Somewhere that even law enforcement doesn't set foot." Twilight grinned at a sudden revelation. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah, Sapphire Shores' new album definitely goes back to her old style."

"No, I mean about... uh... I'm thinking that we should cook in the Everfree Forest."

"How are we going to get there?" asked Pinkie Pie.

-

The door to Twilight's small backyard shed cracked open, revealing some boxes full of books, scientific equipment, and assorted pieces of furniture and other junk she had no other place for.

"You still have the balloon?" said Pinkie. "I thought you sold it or gave it away or something? Which is weird, because if I had a balloon I'd use it all the time! I've got kind of a thing for balloons, though usually just the little ones. Did you know that if you breathe in a bunch of helium your voice gets all high and squeaky? Well, mine is high and squeaky already but it gets even higher and I think only dogs can hear it..."

As Pinkie Pie rambled on, Twilight levitated some pieces of junk out of the way and pulled the large deflated hot-air balloon, which had been stuffed into its basket.

"The basket of this balloon should have enough space for us and all the equpiment and materials we need, with a little space to move around. We can fly by balloon out over the everfree forest, park it somewhere out sight, surrounded by trees, and then do our cooking... Pinkie?"

Twilight saw Pinkie poking around in her shed looking around at anything she could see. "Hey, Twi! What does this thing do? Ooh, and this thing?" Twilight shuddered at a sudden crashing and breaking sound.

"Stay out of my shed!"

-

"Come on, AJ!" said Rainbow Dash, floating above Applejack's desk. "We got our griffon. Case is closed. You're reading too much into this."

"Ah'm tellin ya, it don't add up. That Spark lab was set up all pony-like, wasn't a single thing griffon 'bout it."

"So what, you're saying Gilda was just a pair of hands... I mean claws, for some other mystery pony?"

Applejack nodded. "It don't make sense otherwise."

Rainbow floated down next to her. "I just don't understand. What could have happened to Gilda that would reduce her to some low-level Spark lab assistant? She had big plans for her life. She had dreams..."

"Ah reckon that if you stay on ponies' bad sides too much and too often, you ain't gonna get very far."

"Hey! You don't know her!" snapped Rainbow.

Applejack stepped back, and opened her mouth for an apology, but Rainbow beat her to it.

"I'm sorry, AJ. I think I'm letting my personal feelings get the better of me. You know me and Gilda were, well, very close once."

Applejack smiled kindly. "Believe me, ah know what it's like for personal feelings to get in the way on this job. Sometimes ah just have to lose myself in work or ah'll go crazy."

Rainbow Dash nodded. Applejack looked down, bad memories coming back to her.

"Applejack," said Rainbow, her voice now much softer. "Have you heard anything about Big Macintosh?"

"Nothin' good. Comin' up on seven years since he left home. Ain't heard nothin' from him, but there've been police reports from Fillydelphia a couple times when he was arrested for petty theft or drug posession." Applejack's voice wavered. "Ah still blame myself for not noticin' the signs earlier."

Eight years ago, Big Macintosh had begun to experiment with Crystal Spark. Applejack never found why he suddenly started, or why his habit got worse over time. Nobody knew about it for months, and Big Macintosh kept it quiet. Eventually it began to affect him physically and mentally. His work on the farm got noticeably worse, and he became irritable and prone to sudden bursts of anger.

One night, Big Macintosh left the Apple family home without any kind of explanation. Nobody saw him leave, but he had taken everything he could carry from his room. The Apples were devastated, being such a close-knit family. A month later Granny Smith died of heart failure. If Applejack blamed Big Macintosh for it, she never openly admitted it.

A year later, Princess Celestia had sent word around Equestria about the formation of the EADTF to take on the growing Crystal Spark problem. Applejack left the farm to Apple Bloom and signed up.

At the time, Rainbow Dash was performing with the Wonderbolts. It was a couple of years later that Rainbow decided to follow in Applejack's footsteps. She loved living her life dream with the Wonderbolts, but at the same time she had come to realize that it was nothing but empty spectacle, and she felt the need to do something that had some real meaning to it, other than just impressing audiences. Over the next few years they had risen through the ranks remarkably quickly, and the two of them were now in charge of all operations within Ponyville and the surrounding area, reporting only to the top brass in Canterlot.

-

Through the next week, Twilight and Pinkie executed their plans to collect materials and tools. Everything went smoothly and according to plan due to Twilight's diligence in making up detailed checklists (and checklists of those checklists). At the end of the week, when Pinkie Pie arrived at Twilight's backyard, Twilight was already inflating the hot air balloon.

"Hey, you're not wearing your eyepatch anymore. I thought it looked cool on you."

"As cool as it was, I think depth perception is about twenty percent cooler." said Twilight. "Are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Twilight's horn was glowing as she generated a constant flow of wind past the burner into the inflating balloon. It was a fairly significant amount of magic power needed, but it should have been easy at her skill level. Nonetheless, she was feeling an unusually severe headache from the effort. She wondered if it was her recent sleep deprivation or an effect of the Horn Rot.

When the balloon was fully inflated, Twilight and Pinkie piled all their supplies into the basket and jumped in. They floated over the everfree forest until Ponyville was completely out of sight, and landed in a small clearing surrounded by trees, at the base of a large mountain.

Pinkie Pie looked at the forest around them nervously. "Gee, I kinda forgot how creepy the Everfree Forest is. Is it safe for us here?"

Twilight smiled. "It will be in a second."

Twilight focused her power, and a magic bubble of shimmering, glowing pink emerged from her horn, which grew to envelop the both of them and their balloon in the clearing. Then the bubble ceased its shimmering and turned into what looked like a pink glass dome around them.

"I'll keep this force field around us to keep any of the local wildlife from interrupting us. Nothing gets in or out until I drop the force field."

"Gotcha."

Twilight rummaged through a sack of miscellaneous supplies and pulled out a dress. A plain, minimal dress that she had only worn once at a birthday party a long time ago.

"Hey!" said Pinkie. "You didn't tell me there was a dress code."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You really should wear something when you cook, unless you want your body hair to smell like a Spark lab for the rest of the day."

"You're a smart cookie! I never thought of that one before."

Twilight changed into the dress. "All right, Pinkie. Let's get cooking."

Trix

The mountain began to cast its shadow over the clearing in the Everfree forest as the sun set. Next to their parked balloon, in their protective force field, Twilight was focused on levitating a beaker full of bubbling liquid over a burner.

"Okay, it's been a long day, but we're almost done. Next step: twenty milligrams of sapphire dust, fifty miligrams of jade dust, dissolved in a solution of 40% water and 60% rainbow juice, boiled at 95 degrees celcius for 3 minutes and... one, two, three, four seconds."

Twilight poured the liquid into a deep square pan. Some vapor rose from the pan, and Twilight stepped backward to avoid inhaling it.

"Are we done now?" asked Pinkie Pie.

Twilight rose an eyebrow. "You really think we're done? You would really just stop at this stage and call it a day?"

"Well yeah, you just let it cool down for an hour and you got Spark! Right?"

"No, you end up with watered-down garbage that barely passes for Crystal Spark. I can't believe that anypony would buy what you were making before. Now, put on this gas mask."

Twilight levitated two gas masks out, put one on and gave the other to Pinkie who did the same.

"This gas mask makes me look like an elephant!" said Pinkie, throwing her head back and imitating an elephant noise.

Twilight's horn began to glow. "We don't have the proper equipment for this, and it's a pretty volatile mix of chemicals, so we can't be too careful. Anything goes wrong and we'll be covered in toxic fumes. Now, if you were wondering why I had to boil the mixture even though we're just letting it cool down again, the primary reason was to remove all traces of impurities. That's of utmost importance for the next step. Supercooling the liquid."

Twilight bent her head down and focused on the pan, and a beam of cold blue light erupted from her horn to the pan. "If we've done everything right, then as the temperature goes below its regular freezing point, the light trapped within the rainbow juice will begin to leak out. The parts of the spectrum that we want to capture are in the sapphire and jade crystals."

Sure enough, the mixture began to glow in multiple colors. Everything except for blue and green.

"Eventually we'll want the liquid to crystallize, but doing so will throw the refraction of the light off, so we need to capture as much blue and green glow as possible before initiating the nucleation. The colder the better."

Twilight strained harder, and the glow around her horn intensified. She felt a sudden pain in her head which caused the light to flicker slightly. A minute later she finally let go, feeling unusually spent for such a basic spell. She looked up at Pinkie.

"I'll let you do... the honors." said Twilight, out of breath. "Initiate the nucleation!"

Pinkie looked at the pan, then back to Twilight, and shrugged her shoulders. Twilight groaned. "Give the pan a good tap."

Pinkie bumped the side of the pan and hopped backwards. She squinted her eyes and grimaced in anticipation.

Nothing happened.

Pinkie looked to Twilight, confused. "Is something supposed to..."

A brilliant flash of light erupted from the pan followed by a sizzling sound. Something resembling a sonic rainboom erupted from it. Pinkie walked up to the pan.

"Oh my goodness!" said Pinkie. "Look at the size of those crystals! I haven't seen anything like this before! I'm gonna try some."

Twilight scowled. "No. We don't use our own product."

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Uh... yes, we do, silly!"

"No, we don't!" said Twilight.

"Yes, we do!" said Pinkie.

"No, we don't!" said Twilight.

"Yes, we do!" said Pinkie.

"No, we don't!" said Twilight.

"No, we don't!" said Pinkie.

"Yes, we do!" said Twilight.

"Okey dokey!" said Pinkie.

Before Twilight realized Pinkie's trick, Pinkie had already planted her face in the pan and snorted some of the Spark. Pinkie fell backwards with a huge smile on her face and started rolling around on the ground, giggling like a maniac. Twilight watched Pinkie, concerned. Was this why Pinkie Pie was still so... Pinkie Pie, even at her age?

"Oh, Twilight! You're a wizard! Ooooh it's sooo good. Ponies are going to smile so much when they get this!"

Twilight had a moment of clarity, hearing those words. She walked up to Pinkie and looked down at her. "Is that why you're doing this?"

"Hee hee hee.... I take this stuff and it makes me smile so much. And I just want to share it with everypony so they can keep smiling and keep on partying forever!"

Twilight gasped. Pinkie was an addict as well as a dealer.

"Twi?" said Pinkie, controlling her giggles. "You never told me why you're doing it."

"I've got my reasons. You don't need to know them."

"Awwwwww."

Twilight looked around and saw how dark things had gotten in the shadow of the mountain.

"I think we're done today. We've got our first batch of Spark." said Twilight. "What's next?"

"Tomorrow I'll go and sell to some of my regular customers." answered Pinkie. "They'll like it so much they'll tell their friends, and their friends' friends, and we'll have lots more customers!"

"We'll meet again in the late afternoon tomorrow, start cooking another batch."

After packing their things up, Twilight removed their force field and the two of them floated away in the balloon, parking it in a clearing just on the edge between Ponyville and the Everfree Forest. It was a bit of a trot from where they left it to get back home, but they had to find a spot that wasn't within view of Fluttershy's place. The last thing they needed was someone recognizing them.

-

"Spike, I'm home!" said Twilight as she walked in her front door.

"Help me!" came Spike's voice.

Twilight heard the urgency in his voice and ran towards Spike's room. Spike was lying on the ground next to his bed, shaking, tears in his eyes.

"What happened?"

"I can't move!" said Spike. "My back... it started hurting, and I fell... and I haven't been able to move for hours now! I haven't felt pain like this ever! Where were you?"

"I was... I..."

Spike suddenly screamed in pain. "Oh Celestia! It's flaring up again!"

Twilight levitated Spike. "Don't worry, Spike. I'm taking you to the hospital."

Twilight ran through town, levitating Spike behind her, which was no small feat since Spike was now twice her size and three times her weight. When they finally reached the hospital she collapsed of exhaustion and passed out.

-

The next day, Pinkie Pie walked up to a small wagon parked just on the outskirts of Ponyville. She knocked on the door to the wagon.

"Who is it?" came a female voice from inside.

"Your favorite Pink Party Pony!"

The door glowed a light blue glow and opened. Out stepped a light blue unicorn with a white mane. The Great and Powerful Trixie, wearing her usual wizard hat and cape.

"What in Equestria are you doing here?" said Trixie. "The Great and Powerful Trix does not have any Spark to sell you at this time. Begone!"

"Well, that's just perfect because I'm not buying today, I'm selling! Wait, did you call yourself Trix?"

"Yes, that is what I am calling myself now. And if you wish to continue any business with me, you will also call me Trix."

"What's wrong with Trixie?"

"It occured to me that my original name did not fully complement my greatness. It was as if I am just, you know, a little bit Trix-ie. Not the Trix-est, or even Trix-er than anyone else. No, I will not have that. So from now on, The Great and Powerful Trixie is The Great and Powerful Trix! Now, give Trix a sample of what you're selling, and Trix will judge whether it is worthy."

Pinkie was wearing saddlebags filled with packs of Crystal Spark. She pulled a small pack of the drug out with her mouth, and Trixie levitated it. She ripped the pack open with her horn, and levitated a small pink swizzle straw to sniff a sample. The effect was immediate, and Trixie reeled back, dropping the pack. Pinkie caught it in her mane.

"My goodness!" said Trixie, wobbling in place. "Where did you get this? This is powerful stuff. Almost as powerful as the Great and Powerful Trixie... I mean, Trix!"

"I got it from me, 'cause I made it!"

Trixie began to wobble slightly back and forth, so she laid down on the ground to steady herself. "You're back in business pretty quickly. What happened with... uh... whatsername.. Gilda?"

"I was a lucky little Pinkie. The next door neighbor was cooking some delicious-smelling chocolate cupcakes, and I smelled them and knocked on her door. And we talked for a bit and I offered to help her cook cupcakes as long as I had some to eat myself. And then when I was eating cupcakes over there, the royal guards arrived and arrested Gilda. I knew they'd look around the house next, so I had to escape. They almost got me too!"

Trixie's eyes were diverging slightly and she seemed to have lost interest. She shook her head and looked back at Pinkie, refocusing her eyes. "You know, Pie the Pink... Pinkie of the Pies... oh my, this Spark is really affecting me. What was I saying? Ah yes, your story is very... what's the word when something sounds like an excuse for, uh... doing something bad?"

"Fishy?"

"Fishy! Yes, that! Your story is much like a fish. I think you're, um... swimming, like a fish, with the EADTF, or wow. Look at my hooves! They're so blue! But Gilda, you know, the griffon chick, with the feathers and stuff, she thinks you set her up."

"What? Moi? Pinkie Pie? That's ridiculous! That's Silly! That's sillydiculous! Gilda's just being a mean lying pants-on-fire dishonesty-pants! I'd like to give her a piece of my mind! But not my actual brain because that would be gross and I'm still using most of it."

Trixie began giggling uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" said Pinkie. Suddenly Pinkie's ears flopped, her eyes fluttered, and her knees twitched. "Uh oh."

The door to Trixie's Wagon opened and Gilda burst out, grabbing Pinkie Pie by the neck.

"You were saying?" growled Gilda.

"... ... .... ...." said Pinkie, her eyes bulging widely.

Gilda loosened her grip so Pinkie's words could be heard. Pinkie gasped for air, and then spoke again. "Hey there, Gildy ol' pal! You're out of the dungeons pretty quick, how's it going? Your feathers are looking nice today! Why did they let you go?"

Gilda tossed her aside. Pinkie bounced and rolled and landed on Trixie, who was too high to even react to it.

"They didn't have anything on me that could stick." said Gilda. "They'd be wasting their time and money trying to get me on a lesser charge, and I'm not the one they're looking for. And I don't think they want the public to think they're pulling the ol' griffon race card again. Ya know, I could've made it even easier for myself by ratting you out, but I ain't no fuckin' snitch. You, on the other hand..."

She picked up the packet of Crystal Spark in her claws and examined it. "Who made this Crystal? 'Cause I'll pluck my feathers and call myself an Earth pony if you made this yourself."

"It's a secret. Top-secret. I can't tell anypony who it is. I didn't even tell myself!"

Gilda grabbed Pinkie by the back of her neck, lifting her up to her face. "So that was your plan, huh? Set me up for the fall so you can ditch me for this mystery cook?"

"I Pinkie Promise that I didn't set you up!" Pinkie put her hoof to her eye. "I didn't know the guards were coming, and I had the munchies for some tasty chocolate cupcakes. That's it!"

"Chill out guys." said Trixie. "We can do business. Business... like... drug business. And stuff. This is water under the... road thingy that goes over water. Let's just meet this cook and talk more bridges. I mean, more business. Trix is gonna take a lil nap first though. G'night."

-

Twilight woke up in a hospital bed. "Wh... where am I?"

Her doctor turned to look at her. "Ah, you're awake. You're in the Ponyville hospital. You overextended your magic powers carrying Spike last night. With your condition you'll need to take it easy and allow plenty of recharge time."

Twilight rose out of her bed with a start, accidentally hitting the doctor in the face with her horn. He flinched backward.

"I'm sorry!" said Twilight. "Where's Spike? Is he okay? What time is it? Did you tell him anything about my horn rot?"

He looked at her strangely. "He's in the next room over. He's okay but... I'll let him tell you about it himself. It's 11 AM. And why are you concerned about what I told him? Have you not told him of your condition yet?"

Twilight laid back in her bed and sighed. "I'm going to eventually. Just... you didn't tell him did you? It should come from me."

"Doctor-patient confidentiality is part of the law in Ponyville. But there aren't any laws against me scolding you for keeping this a secret. My professional advice to you is to tell him and your family and friends as soon as possible. This is a burden that nopony should carry alone."

Twilight stared at the ceiling, non-verbally signifying that this conversation was over.

"All right then." said the doctor. "I'll let Spike in to see you now."

The doctor left the room, and Twilight heard a strange metallic clinking sound approaching. She turned to the door and saw Spike walking in awkwardly, supporting himself on two large metal crutches.

"What happened to you?" asked Twilight, shocked at the sight.

"It's okay, Twi. The doc says that this is a normal part of a dragon's growth. Every dragon goes through a time when their skeleton is lagging behind the body's accelerating growth rate. It's not going to be very long..."

"That's great news! So you'll be back on your feet soon?"

Spike drooped his head. "About five years. I guess that's no time in comparison to my lifespan, but still, I can't believe I have to walk on crutches for five whole years."

"Is there anything I can do to help you, Spike?" asked Twilight.

Spike shrugged his shoulders, which made him fall forward a bit. He pushed his crutches in front of him and grimaced in pain. "I'm just going to have to deal with this. What I want to know is what happened to you?"

The doctor quietly left the room, giving Twilight a stern look on the way out.

"I levitated you halfway across town at the end of a long and hard day. I guess I just pushed myself too hard." Twilight smiled. "You're a big boy now. Packing on the pounds!"

Spike frowned. "That doesn't make sense. I know how powerful your magic is. Floating me across town is nothing to you. I've seen you lift an Ursa minor, remember?"

"Guess I'm just out of practice. It's just like exercise, you know!"

Spike shook his head. "There's something you're not telling me. Something that has to do with why you were out so late last night. And why you've been acting so weird the past few days."

Twilight was at a loss for words. She should have known that Spike would see right through her excuses. She reached for some kind of explanation that could at least deflect him for a while, but none was coming.

"Fine." said Spike. "If you really don't want to tell me, then I'll let it go." he limped out of the room.

-

After Twilight took care of the hospital bills and paid for Spike's crutches, they walked home together wordlessly, Twilight providing some magical support whenever Spike seemed to be losing his balance on the crutches.

"I guess you're going out again tonight, aren't you?" said Spike when they got home.

Twilight nodded. Spike rolled his eyes and slammed the door shut.

On the way to meet Pinkie Pie, she knew that she would have to tell him about her horn rot, and sooner was better. Hiding the secret, she realized, was hurting her as much as it hurt Spike. She resolved to herself that she would tell him tonight. In fact, she was going to cancel the cooking session with Pinkie and go straight home. The Spark could wait another day.

As she approached the edge of the Everfree forest, she could see Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was shaking her head and waving her hooves. Twilight rolled her eyes. Surprise, surprise. Pinkie was being random again. She kept walking towards her, ignoring her strange gestures.

"What is it?" said Twilight when she arrived at Pinkie.

"I'm sorry," whispered Pinkie. "I tried to warn you."

Twilight heard a sound behind her, and turned around to see Gilda coming out from a bush.

"Well well," said Gilda. "It's Princess Celestia's old pet pony. You're the last pony I'd suspect of being our mystery cook."

"W...what do you want?" stammered Twilight.

Trixie stepped out from behind a tree and fixed a glare on Twilight.

"Trixie?"

"Sparkle."

In Medias Res

"What is going on here?" said Twilight, backing away from Gilda.

"That depends." said Trixie, flicking back her mane and turning her nose up to Twilight. "We came here to do business with you, but I had not expected that you would be... you. Also, you would do well to know that my name is Trix now."

"That's a stupid name."

Gilda closed the distance between them. "Trix, I say we just waste 'em. She's working for Celestia!"

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"That's ridiculous! I haven't even spoken to Celestia in years!" yelled Twilight. Her heart was racing, and she was straining to figure out a way out of this situation.

"If you're out of contact with Celestia, then why were you there when Celestia's goons busted me?"

"What? How did..."

"I'm half Eagle, genius." Gilda began to slowly and threateningly pace around Twilight and Pinkie. "I saw you plain as day, hiding in a bush with your pals Rainbow Dash and Applejack. And if that's not enough, your brother is the captain of the fuckin' guard."

Trixie tapped her front hoof on her chin. "Hmm. It appears that there is a RAT in our midst!"

Pinkie jumped and started frantically looking around the ground. "Eek! a rat? Where is it? Where is it?"

Gilda curled her right talon into a ball and punched Pinkie in the face, knocking her unconscious. Twilight saw a moment of opportunity when both Gilda and Trixie were distracted, and focused a Teleport spell around herself and Pinkie. Her horn glowed, but Gilda caught the glow in the corner of her eye. She turned with frightening speed and smacked Twilight's horn with her other fist. The spell fizzled and she felt a sharp pain jolting through her head and spine.

Gilda roared and thrust her claws in front of Twilight's face. "Don't try any of that unicorn shit on me! You do that one more time and I'll rip you open, understand?"

Twilight staggered, reeling from the spell interruption. "I'm... not... a rat!"

Gilda turned to Trixie. "So what do you say, Trix?"

"Let's not waste a good opportunity, Gilda." she turned to Twilight. "The Great and Powerful Trix demands that you demonstrate your skills to us."

"That's good!" said Twilight, forcing a smile. "If I show you my secrets, you'll let me live, right?"

Gilda ruffled her feathers. "You're in no position to bargain with us. You're going to show us everything you know, and we'll decide what to do then."

"Well come on then." said Trixie. "We haven't got all day."

Trixie levitated Pinkie's unconscious body into the balloon, and Gilda unhooked the ropes. The balloon floated up out of the tree cover.

"Here's how this will work." said Gilda. "If you need to use magic you let me know in advance. If I see that horn glow without permission I cut you. When you're using your magic, if I see your horn glow any brighter than a simple levitation spell, I cut you. I know the difference. You give me lip, you look at me wrong, I see anything suspicious whatsoever, then guess what I do?"

"Bake me some cupcakes?" said Twilight sarcastically.

Gilda swiped Twilight's side with her claw, tearing a painful gash next to her cutie mark. Twilight yelped.

"I'm fuckin' serious here, bitch! Now get cooking!"

"We're still in the air! We need to be on flat, stable ground. I can't work like this."

Trixie laughed. "You'll be surprised what ponies can do with the proper motivation. Gilda, give Twilight some motivation."

Gilda grinned and raised her claw again.

"Wait!" yelled Twilight. "I'll do it! My horn's going to glow a bit - I'm going to levitate some things."

Gilda nodded, but kept watching her like a hawk. Maybe more like a griffon.

The balloon floated over the Everfree forest, trailing some smoke as Twilight brought the first ingredients of her mixture to a boil. Normally they would have been doing this on the ground outside of the basket of the balloon, with plenty of breathing room. In this situation she really should be wearing her gas mask...

An idea popped into her head.

"Trixie? I mean, Trix... Can I get a little help?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "I am the management of this operation, and I do NOT get my hooves dirty. Do it yourself!"

"My usual assistant is unconscious, and this will go much faster with a unicorn's magic than a griffon's claws. No offense, Gilda."

Gilda grumbled.

"Very well. What do you need of me?"

"I need to use my own magic to compress the vapor of the rainbow juice while somepony else adds the parasprite wings. Only a small amount at a time. They're in that bag over there."

Trixie opened up one of the large bags of equipment, and started searching through it. She pulled out Twilight's yellow dress. "Oh Celestia, that dress is hideous. It's so plain, so ugly, so frumpy..." Trixie raised an eyebrow and grinned at Twilight. "So you!"

As Trixie rummaged through the bag, Twilight concentrated on trapping the fumes in the boiling flask. Trixie took the gas masks out of the bag, which caught Twilight's attention before she could catch herself. Twilight looked down at the gas masks, but then looked up again immediately to avoid telegraphing what she was thinking of. Unfortunately, Gilda had seen her sudden eye movements and the griffon eyed her suspiciously.

"Something's on your mind..." said Gilda.

"Yeah, a couple of drug dealers have me trapped in a balloon over the Everfree. I'm thinking of a lot of things at once here if you'll excuse me."

"Ah there it is." said Trixie, pulling the jar of parasprite wings. "although I don't understand what effect these would have on the Spark."

"It's more about the texture than the taste, so to speak."

Gilda scowled. "Trix, she's up to something, I fuckin' guarantee it."

Twilight sighed. "Do you want to get this Spark done or not?"

"You do anything, and I mean ANYTHING funny," threatened Gilda, "and I do a little science experiment involving a pink pony and gravity, you understand?"

"All right, let's all calm down here." said Twilight carefully. "I just want to get this over with and go home. It's pretty clear that I'm out of this business for good after today, and I can't rat on you guys without incriminating myself. Nobody needs to get hurt, you don't have to worry about me, and we can all have a happy ending here today. So please, let's just keep on cooking."

Trixie looked back and forth between Gilda and the jar of parasprite wings. Gilda relaxed herself a bit, but kept her eye firmly focused on Twilight. It took everything in Twilight's mental power not to let what was on her mind slip out in any way. Trixie floated the jar of parasprite wings up to the mixture.

There were a few facts in Twilight's mind at this time. One fact was that there was absolutely no way that Gilda and Trixie were going to let them live, no matter what Twilight said or did to try to change their minds. Another fact was that parasprite wings actually weren't involved until another two steps later in the process. Parasprite wings become very brittle and delicate after separation from the parasprite, and it takes a relatively small amount of force to turn them into a fine dust. A diffuse cloud of any finely-divided biological substance can be explosive, and so can just about every chemical involved in Spark production.

A few moments after Trixie began sprinkling the wings into the flask, Twilight released her magic field, and the suddenly releasing pressure sent the fumes of boiling Rainbow juice violently upward. Twilight ducked and immediately focused her attention on the gas masks. The releasing gas shattered the parasprite wings into particles and blasted them upward in a cloud which reached the balloon's burner, igniting in a brilliant flash of flame that temporarily blinded Trixie and Gilda. The flash was followed up by another explosion inside the flask, which erupted into thousands of tiny glass shards and a cloud of toxic rainbow-colored gas. Twilight, expecting the explosions, had turned away and covered her head, but still took a few shards in her back. Gilda and Trixie were not so lucky.

Gilda became a bloody whirlwind of fury, slashing her claws blindly around her. Trixie fell backwards, screaming, hooves to her bloody face. The balloon suddenly started falling when the flames from the explosion ripped a hole in the fabric. Twilight scrambled to get gas masks on herself and Pinkie while avoiding Gilda's thrashing claws.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! I'LL TEAR YOU APART!" screamed Gilda.

Trixie's screams had now turned to crying.

As the balloon began to descend faster, the deadly gas cloud completely enveloped them, just as Twilight had managed to slip gas masks on herself and Pinkie.

"YOU'RE GONNA... (cough) YOU'RE GONNA FUCKIN' (cough) DIE..." Gilda started trying to fly away, but her wings got tangled in the ropes.

Twilight couldn't see anything through the cloud. She just heard coughing and retching, and in a few seconds, nothing. Twilight stood up just as a gust of wind hit the balloon, blowing her dress out of the basket, and dispersing the cloud enough to see that they were careening straight towards the slope of a mountain. And as if that weren't bad enough she heard a roar coming from a cave in the mountain. The explosions and the ensuing commotion had awoken a dragon!

A plain yellow dress floated gracefully through the air, coming to rest on the ground shortly before a hot air balloon fell on top of it.

-

Ooh! I think I recognize this part! I read it already! Are you going to write it again?

Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here?

Hiya! Don't mind me. I'm unconscious now, so I'm probably just dreaming this. You're just a figment of my imagination. Hee hee, figment. That's a funny-sounding word. Figment!

I'm trying to tell a story here, Pinkie.

You're telling it funny! You're supposed to start at the beginning. That's why they call it the beginning, silly!

In Medias Res. It's a common narrative technique. Look it up. Twilight probably has a book on it.

So are you going to write the introduction to your story again?

Well, I don't want to artificially inflate the word count or anything. I was thinking of just skipping to right after it. If anyone forgot how the story started they can just go back and read the introduction again. It was pretty short.

Hmmmmm... good point! I read ahead a bit and I know I'm going to wake up in a few minutes so I'll just take this time to read the intro part again to catch up. Seeya, figment! Figment!

That was weird. Now, where was I...

-

Twilight fired a bolt of magic energy at the dragon as it appeared, but it fizzled harmlessly against the dragon's scales. It landed on the top of the mountain, breathing flames and roaring. Then it looked directly at Twilight.

"What are you doing here, pony?" roared the dragon, his deep voice shaking the world around him. Some pebbles came loose and rolled down the slope of the mountain.

Twilight stared up at the dragon, frozen with fear. The dragon lowered his head, leaning close enough to Twilight that she could feel his hot breath. She stared in terror as the dragon slowly looked away from her to Pinkie, then to the bodies of Gilda and Trixie. Then back to Twilight.

"Your friends are gravely injured." said the dragon. "You must leave here at once and find help."

Twilight came back to her senses. "My balloon is ruined. We can't make it back to Ponyville!"

The dragon looked around, and stood on his hind legs. He launched himself up and flapped his wings, blowing a strong wind over them. Twilight could see that the gust blew the remaining toxic smoke out of the balloon's basket. The dragon flew to the balloon and grabbed it with his back claws, hovering in the air with it. "Get in, pony. I will fly you to the edge of the Everfree Forest, but you must go the rest of the way yourself. I do not wish to start a panic in Ponyville. Now hurry!"

Twilight levitated Pinkie into the basket with her and the dragon flew with them in the direction of Ponyville.

Pinkie Pie began to stir at last. She started muttering something under her breath: "Figment... heehee... funny word."

"Pinkie, are you okay?"

"No mommy, I... wanna sleep in... farm rocks later."

"Pinkie!"

Pinkie's eyes fluttered open. She looked up. "Oh Hi Twilight, I must have dozed off. What's going... D.d..d.dd.d..d...d..dragon!" she looked to her left. "D....d...d.dead Gilda!" she looked to her right. "D...d..d.dead Trixie! Eeeek!"

Twilight Sparkle covered Pinkie's mouth. "No. No shrieking. No screaming or squealing either, okay?"

Pinkie nodded and Twilight removed her hoof. "W... what's happening, Twi? Are we okay?"

"...I don't know." Twilight said, staring blankly off into the distance.

"We're almost there" came the booming voice of the dragon. "I hope we are not too late."

When they reached the edge of the Everfree, the dragon set them down on the ground. Twilight turned to thank him, but he was already flying off. Twilight watched the silhouette of the dragon flying off into the sunset, and immediately thought of Spike. She sighed, climbed out of the basket, and walked a few steps before collapsing to the ground and crying. Pinkie Pie climbed out after her, and sat down next to her.

"What's wrong, Twilight?"

Twilight pulled her face out of the grass. "It was supposed to be simple. Just make some Spark and sell it. This shouldn't have happened." more tears welled up in her eyes. "I wasn't supposed to kill anypony."

Pinkie Pie shifted uncomfortably in place, for once not having anything to say.

Twilight stood up again. "Pinkie, can you check to see if they're dead? We need to plan our next move."

Pinkie frowned, and walked back to the basket. She held her hoof to Gilda's neck, then to Trixie's, then looked back to Twilight and shook her head.

"We're going to have to hide the bodies." said Twilight grimly.

Suddenly Twilight's ear twitched. She could hear the sound of a large number of ponies. She quickly levitated a pair of binoculars from the basket and looked toward Ponyville. "Ponies! Lots of ponies are coming this way! They must have heard the dragon!"

"They're gonna see us! They're gonna see the bodies! What are we gonna do?" said Pinkie.

Twilight looked frantically around, at Pinkie, at Ponyville, at the two dead bodies. She thought hard, then turned to look at Pinkie.

"I've got an idea!"

Cupcakes

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie walked across the field toward the approaching crowd of ponies, hearing excited and scared whispers.

"Hey! You!" said a beige mare. "Did any of you four see anything? Did you see a dragon?"

Twilight and Pinkie were two of the four. They were walking in front of Gilda and Trixie. Twilight was wearing Trixie's hat, partly to make herself less readily identifiable to someone in the crowd who might know her, but mostly to conceal the glow of her horn. She was using her magic in a grim puppeteer act, doing her best to make them appear to be walking normally. She kept them walking closely behind them so they could block anypony from looking too closely.

Twilight responded to the mare, trying to balance focus between talking and levitating. "I heard the same thing you heard, but I didn't see any dragon. I think I heard it from over there." Twilight pointed in a direction conveniently away from where they hid the balloon.

"The horror! The horror!" she heard the familiar voice of Lily in the crowd. "A dragon near Ponyville!"

Twilight faked a smile. "Oh, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Dragons haven't attacked ponies in centuries. They respect pony laws."

A green-haired orange stallion sneered. "Terrible creatures. Do you not remember when that dragon rampaged through Ponyville? Nopony ever found him. Some day the dragons will come for us all, I tell you!"

The sounds of approval from ponies around him sent a chill down Twilight's spine. For a moment, her concerns shifted back to Spike, worrying about how he would fare on his own in a town that had grown increasingly frightened of him as he grew, and with anti-dragon sentiment still strong despite Princess Celestia's efforts to bring ponies and dragons together...

But that was a long-term issue to think of some time later. Right now they were taking the corpses of two drug dealers out for a walk in plain sight through a crowd of ponies, an idea which seemed good on paper. Now she was just thinking how horribly stupid and insane this was. And that she shouldn't have actually written the plan on paper; she made a mental note to shred the scroll, along with her letter to Princess Celestia, at the first available opportunity.

"I'm sure it was nothing." said Twilight with a fake smile. "Well look at the time." (no watch) "It's getting late, I should be getting home."

"You might be missing out on seeing a dragon, but good night anyways." said the mare.

Just as the mare was turning around, Trixie suddenly groaned. In her surprise, Twilight lost control over her magic and threw them both up into the air. She looked up in terror and frantically focused her magic, managing to catch Trixie and Gilda before they hit the ground and rotating them into standing position, just as the mare turned around. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Ohhhhh" said Pinkie Pie. "Ohhhh my stomach. I'm starving!"

The mare shrugged her shoulders and walked away, following the crowd. Twilight and Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief.

When they were clear of the crowd and reached Ponyville, Pinkie Pie walked up next to Twilight and whispered to her. "Trixie's still alive!"

"Yeah, I noticed."

"That's a good thing, right?"

Twilight looked back at the two macabre puppets following them, Trixie breathing erratically and trying to open her eyes up. "She'll be dead any minute."

"But if she's not dead right now, we have to leave her at the hospital!"

"No. Maybe. I don't know. We have to think about this. Sugar Cube Corner is the closest place that we can hide them for now."

They walked through the streets of Ponyville. It was later in the afternoon, but the sun was still up and ponies were walking around everywhere. Eight blocks to go to get to Sugar Cube Corner, but it seemed to Twilight as if it were miles away. Twilight hoped against hope not to run into anyone they recognized, but half the town knew her, and both halves of the town knew Pinkie Pie, so the best she could hope for was that nopony felt especially conversational.

Twilight looked back and saw that a trickle of blood was running down from Gilda's mouth, leaving a trail behind them. She motioned to Pinkie, who stepped back behind Gilda and tried her best to look innocent as she swept the blood trail with her tail. Three blocks went by relatively uneventfully, as they avoided the thick of the crowds and took less-travelled alleyways. Then Twilight started to feel some ripples in the magic field. She turned and saw a blue glow from Trixie's horn blending its light with the purple glow of her levitation spell. Trixie still wasn't fully conscious, but some instinct was making her fight against the magic controlling her. Though she was already feeling the strain, Twilight had to increase the amount of effort in holding the spell. They continued walking for another three blocks, Twilight fighting a growing feeling of nausea, and Pinkie's Tail getting noticably bloodier as she swept the trail of Gilda's blood behind them.

With Sugar Cube Corner in sight, they picked up their pace. But then Twilight saw Fluttershy walking in front of Sugar Cube Corner, and suddenly froze in place.

"Celestia dammit, just when we're almost there!" whispered Twilight. "Pinkie, be very quiet. Hopefully Fluttershy will just keep walking and won't see us."

Suddenly Trixie's horn erupted in a bright blue flash. The field of levitation magic around her vanished and she collapsed to the ground. Not expecting the sudden imbalance in the magical field, Twilight yelped at the sudden disruption of the spell, and with the forces all out of balance, she ended up throwing Gilda's body forward.

Fluttershy looked up at the sound, but only saw what looked like an angry griffon flying directly at her. She screamed and ran away, barely evading Gilda's corpse, which slammed into the wall of Sugar Cube Corner. Fluttershy just kept on running without looking back.

Twilight looked around to make sure nopony else saw what just happened, then quickly picked up Gilda and Trixie again. Pinkie ran up ahead and opened the door. Twilight dragged Trixie and Gilda in after her. The moment all four of them were inside, she released her levitation spell and collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily with exhaustion.

-

Trixie's eyes fluttered open. Her head hurt like crazy, and she could barely keep her eyes open. She knew she was in danger somehow, and had a vague recollection of a balloon and an explosion, but couldn't put the pieces together.

"Twilight, I really don't feel good about this at all." said a pink blur to a purple blur. Pink blur. Pinkie. Pinkie Pie. A piece fell into place.

The purple blur bounced in place. "Do you have any better ideas? Ones where we don't get banished and then thrown into a dungeon in the place we're banished to?"

The purple blur was starting to come into focus. She could make out a horn. Sparkle. What did the word sparkle mean to her? Sparkling. Sparkling like stars. Stars in the Twi... Twilight Sparkle! A wave of fear rushed through Trixie's body. She strained to open her eyes more, and looked around. She was in a dark room with the two increasingly pony-shaped blurs, and for some reason she couldn't move.

"This isn't right!" said the pink blur. "Can't we just drop her off in front of the hospital and run?"

"Let me think" said the purple blur, pacing around. "What is she anyways? What's her place in the chain of Spark dealers?"

"Well, she's above me, but she reports to someone she calls The Big Guy. That's all I know."

"Right, so we take her to a hospital, then she tells The Big Guy about us when she gets out. What's he gonna do?"

Trixie tried to breathe in, but with the breath came a searing pain through her throat. She coughed, and the two blurs jumped. She wheezed, trying again to take in some air.

"How much did she hear?" whispered Pinkie Pie.

"I don't know. Let's talk upstairs."

They slowly backed away from her. She finally managed to focus her eyes and look around. She had a yoke around her neck. It was fairly big, and should have been large enough for her to slip out of, but it was also around a metal pole, so she was stuck in place, only able to slide up and down the pole with great discomfort.

"w....water" she croaked.

"We'll get you some water!" said Pinkie Pie before Twilight shooed her up the stairs leaving her alone.

Finally her mind unscrambled itself and she remembered everything up until being immersed in the poison gas cloud. And she could recognize where she was at last, having gone down to this basement with Pinkie to get some supplies a couple of times. Something about being chained up in Pinkie's basement sent a chill down her spine.

Pinkie Pie came down the stairs holding a tray in her mouth. On it was a glass of water and a couple of cupcakes. Pinkie set it on the floor and pushed the plate to her. She quickly levitated the glass of water and drank it, finally soothing some of the pain in her throat.

Twilight Sparkle came down the stairs and walked to Pinkie. "This situation is under control for today, Pinkie. We need some rest so we can think straight tomorrow."

Trixie tried her best to talk. "Are... you... going.... to kill... me?"

Twilight froze in place, then turned around and walked up the stairs again, leaving Trixie alone with Pinkie. Alone with Pinkie in her basement. Chained up, alone with Pinkie, in her dark basement, with cupcakes.

-

The sun had gone down when Twilight finally got home. She had been meaning to talk to Spike ever since the early afternoon. As exhausted and drained as she was, this could not wait a single moment longer. Seeing Spike's door closed, she knocked.

"Go away, I'm trying to get some sleep." came Spike's annoyed voice.

"You never go to sleep this early!"

"Maybe I do now. Leave me alone!"

Twilight sighed. "I... I really need to talk to you. It's important."

No response. Twilight hung her head and began to walk away before she heard some metal clinking sounds, and the door opened. Spike stood, leaning into his crutches, an annoyed look on his face. "What is it?"

"I'm... I'm aware that I've been acting really... strange lately. It's just that... I've got something on my... I'm..."

"Spit it out already!"

"I'm dying."

Spike almost fell out of his crutches. Instantly his annoyance was replaced with concern. "W... what?"

"Horn rot. It already spread to my brain. I have only two years maximum, and for the last few months I won't even really be Twilight Sparkle anymore. I'm sorry I hid it from you. I didn't know how to tell you."

Spike burst into tears and wrapped Twilight in his arms.

"I'm sorry too..." said Spike. He said something else afterwards, but Twilight couldn't understand what he was saying through his tears.

"It's okay, Spike. We can get through this. I'll take care of you as long as I can."

"As long as you let me take care of you, too." said Spike.

Twilight smiled, overwhelmed by the simple fact that for the first time today she was smiling for real instead of covering a horrible lie. "You've got yourself a deal, Spike."

Problem Solving

Twilight woke up to the smell of something delicious. She walked out of her room to see Spike up and about and cooking eggs and toast, balancing himself on one of his crutches while he handled a frying pan with his other hand.

"Morning, Twi!" he said. "I thought I'd do the cooking today. I mean, with your condition you shouldn't be stressing your magic too much, especially not in the early morning. I hope you like it!"

"I appreciate it, Spike." Twilight sat down at the table.

Spike pulled out a knife and a cutting board, to cut up some tomatoes and an onion. "So I couldn't get to sleep last night because I was thinking about this, and I had a lot of time to think."

Twilight had slept like a log after her harrowing day yesterday, but she couldn't share that story now so she just nodded.

Spike continued. "The grand galloping gala is coming in a couple of months. You should go!"

Twilight's ears perked up. "What? You know I haven't gone there in years."

"Well..." Spike mixed the chopped vegetables in with the eggs. "You know that Princess Celestia sends us invites every year. I know you always return them, but now... things are different."

"I don't know where you're going with this."

Spike popped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster. "The Princess of course! She can set you up with the best doctors in Canterlot. The most advanced treatment available. She owes you that and she knows it."

Twilight grimaced. "No, Spike. I appreciate the thought but... it's not as simple as you think it is."

"I know that you and Princess Celestia have your differences, but can't you just put it aside for now? Isn't this more important?"

"I'm sorry. I can't explain this in a way that will satisfy you, but Princess Celestia is not an option."

Spike got a couple of plates and divided the eggs and toast up between the two. He carried them to the table and set them now. "Twi, I really think you're making this more complicated than it actually is."

"I'll tell you the whole story some day when I'm ready. But that's all I've got to say for now."

-

Pinkie Pie fidgeted nervously behind the counter at Sugar Cube Corner. It was a Tuesday, and Sugar Cube Corner was always open on Tuesday. She owned the place, so she could close up shop while Trixie was tied up in the basement, but Tuesday was the busiest day of the week and too many ponies would ask her about it. And Pinkie was a bad liar. Perhaps not as bad as Applejack, but damn close. So there was no choice but to carry on with business.

"Pinkie?"

She snapped out of her thoughts at the sound, and realized she was looking directly at Cheerilee. "Oh! Hi! Didn't see you come in!"

Cheerilee looked confused. "You were staring right at me when I walked in."

"You're about the same color as the door. It was like camoflauge. You're a door ninja! Sneaky!"

Cheerilee chuckled. "Oh, Pinkie, you're a riot! Now, do you have any of those delicious crystalberry pies today?"

"Nope, no crystal spark pies today, we're out. Berry! I meant berry! Wait, yes, we do have crystal, crystalberry pies. On the third shelf behind you on your left. No! My left!"

There was a strange, awkward silence between them for a moment, but Cheerilee just smiled and turned around to pick up the pie. Pinkie brushed some sweat from her forehead and tried to concentrate on looking normal. She noticed that she was shaking a bit. Hopefully not enough to be visible. She tried to make herself stop.

Cheerilee put the pie on the counter and asked "How much is the dead Gilda?"

Pinkie Pie gasped and stuttered. "W...w..what?"

"I said how much is the pie?" she replied, and that was probably what she had actually said the first time too.

"Four bits! Thank you for shopping at sugar cube corner! Come again! Nobody's in the basement! Bye!"

"I haven't paid yet... and what was that about the basement?"

"I didn't say anything about the basement, silly!" Pinkie smiled nervously.

After the transaction was complete, Cheerilee walked out the door, and Pinkie collapsed to the floor. "Come on, Pinkie! Get it together!" she said to herself. "You can do this! Just act natural, like nothing's wrong..."

She suddenly heard the ringing sound which meant the door to the shop had opened. She quickly stood up, bashing her head against the bottom of the counter.

-

Twilight saw Cheerilee leaving Sugar Cube corner as she walked there, and waved as they passed each other. Cheerilee waved back with a big smile. Twilight opened the door and walked in. She didn't see Pinkie in there, but heard a loud thud from under the counter.

Pinkie popped up from under the counter, holding a hoof to the back of her head. "Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner. How may I help you? Oh! Twilight, you're here!"

"How long until closing time?"

"Two hours, but the midday rush is over. I can close up early."

"Please do. We have to deal with our problems."

Pinkie walked to the door and opened it. She looked around for any potential customers who may be approaching. Seeing none, she hung a closed sign on the door, then shut it and locked it.

Twilight paced back and forth slowly. "Problem one: Gilda. A dead 150-pound griffon that we need to get rid of. I think I have an idea for that, but problem number two is somewhat more complicated. That is, unless her status has... changed?"

"Trixie's still alive."

Twilight closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. "We can't let her go."

Pinkie looked at Twilight uneasily, a look that made Twilight feel ashamed of herself.

"Pinkie, I know this sounds horrible, but we've got no choice here. Our lives, our friends' and families' lives are on the line here. She's too dangerous to let go."

Her mind made up, Twilight pulled open a kitchen drawer and levitated out a large knife.

"Wait!" yelled Pinkie. "We have to think about this more!"

Twilight ignored her and walked down the stairway to the basement, the knife floating behind her.

-

"She's too dangerous to let go." Trixie heard Twilight's muffled voice upstairs.

Her heart began beating faster. After a night's sleep, her mind was functioning clearly. And with that clarity came the full realization of how bad of a situation she was in. From what she heard upstairs, Pinkie and Twilight were coming to the inevitable conclusion that Trixie would have to die.

No. Don't panic. They're not killers. They won't be able to go through with it.

She tried to reassure herself, but heard an ominous sound of a kitchen drawer opening and a sound of metal objects in the drawer being moved around. She knew it had to be a knife, but wouldn't let herself believe that.

"Wait" came Pinkie's muffled voice. "We have to think about this more!"

A light shown across the stairs as the door opened, and she saw Twilight walking down the stairs.

Look, she's unarmed. You're okay. You're okay. Don't panic.

When Twilight was halfway down the stairs was when she noticed the knife floating behind her.

It was now time to panic.

"No! Twilight! Please! Don't do it! I won't say anything to anypony! I'll leave town! You'll never see me again!"

Twilight didn't even look at Trixie or break step. She walked the rest of the way down the stairs and turned toward Trixie, eyes down to the ground.

"I swear to Celestia I won't say a single word! You have to believe me!"

Twilight kept walking towards Trixie, still looking at the ground. She had obviously made up her mind not to listen to Trixie's pleas. Her heart racing, she desparately struggled against the yoke, her neck already bruised from last night. Twilight was only a few feet away. Trixie charged up her horn and let a blast of magical energy loose at Twilight, but Twilight had sensed it while it was still charging, and had thrown up a temporary purple force field that fizzled the energy bolt harmlessly.

"Please! No!" Trixie squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth.

Twilight stopped right in front of Trixie, the knife levitating in the air, drawn back, ready to strike.

Trixie began to cry. "I'm sorry!" she squealed, her eyes still shut, anticipating a short and painful end.

It didn't happen. Trixie opened her eyes and saw Twilight frozen in place like a statue. Twilight's eyes seemed to be clearer, as if she had just woken from a trance. She stumbled backward, looking bewildered, and the knife left her field of levitation and clattered to the floor. Twilight sat down and stared at Trixie, slack-jawed.

A wave of relief washed over Trixie as she saw the knife fall. She relaxed and just let the tears flow. "I'm so sorry for everything. I can't ask you to forgive me but... please..." Trixie sobbed. "I'm not the Great and Powerful Trix. I've never been great at anything. My magic is barely kindergarten level. I just make it look flashy. I'm addicted to Spark and I live by myself in a cheap little traveling wagon. I'm nothing. I got nothing. Please.... just let me go... I'm not worth any of this."

-

The shock to Twilight's system left everything spinning around her. With Gilda it had been an immediate life-or-death situation and she had simply reacted. But just now with Trixie she had come dangerously close to cold-blooded murder, and the horrible realization had her feeling sick and ashamed.

"...Please... just let me go... I'm not worth any of this."

The room kept spinning around Twilight, coming in and out of focus. "Why... why is this happening? How did it get this way?"

"I don't know." cried Trixie. "I just wanted to make some money. Needed to make some money."

"Any way possible." answered Twilight, understanding where Trixie was coming from.

"I was a magician. I had a travelling show. I was making a good living of it. I know I belittled your friends and lied about the Ursa Major. But it was just a show! It was a stage persona! But thanks to you, I became the laughing stock of Equestria. My name became a joke!"

"I never meant to do that, Trixie!"

Trixie sobbed deeply. "I... I couldn't do it anymore! I spent a few months homeless! I... I didn't have any... any f..friends to help me... I started taking Spark... I couldn't stop taking it! And I needed money, so I got in with some drug dealers! I'm not a bad pony, Twilight!"

Twilight stood up slowly and walked away from Trixie, and walked into an adjoining storage room. On the floor was Gilda's dead body. Next to it was a table with Trixie's cape and hat, and a small brass key next to it. She sighed and levitated all three items, and walked back to Trixie with them.

"I'm not a murderer, and I don't believe you are either." said Twilight.

Trixie smiled at her. "Thank you so much! I can't tell you how much this means to me. I'm going to change my life for the better!"

Twilight levitated the key to the yoke around Trixie's neck, inserted it in the hole and turned it. It clicked and released Trixie.

"You brought my hat and cape. I guess I can walk out of here with some dignity."

Trixie levitated the cape and placed it around her shoulders, partially covering up the bruises in her neck. She levitated her hat to her head.

At that moment, Twilight instantly had a feeling that something was completely wrong. A subtle change in Trixie's eyes the moment the hat came on. She also sensed a tingle of energy in the air. Trixie had no further use for levitation after that moment, but if she were to pick something else up, the glow around her horn would be hidden by her hat.

A horrific realization hit Twilight and she reacted before her conscious mind could process the information. She ducked as the knife that she had dropped and forgotten about flew past her, and Twilight let loose some telekinetic energy to alter the knife's trajectory while keeping its momentum.

Trixie's eyes went wide as the knife slammed into her chest, and the wave of telekinetic power knocked her off her feet into the wall. Twilight walked up to Trixie, who was slumped against the wall, blood gushing out her wound. Trixie gasped for breath and struggled to focus her power on taking the knife out. But Twilight seized the knife with her magic and drove it in further. Blood came out the sides of Trixie's mouth. She fixed her eyes on Twilight, a look of pure hatred. Twilight yanked the knife out, and Trixie's expression changed to a dazzled bewilderment. She tried to take in a couple of breaths, but her eyes rolled up and she passed out.

-

Pinkie Pie gasped as a blood-spattered Twilight emerged from the basement.

"W... what happened?"

"Problem number one is solved. Now we have to deal with problem number two."

Pinkie's Surprise Party

There were piles upon piles of evidence on Applejack's desk related to the ongoing investigation of Crystal Spark activity in Ponyville, but she might as well have been staring at a brick wall all day. She couldn't piece together anything, even though her gut was telling her that something big was going down. Even bigger than the rumored dragon sighting last night.

Suddenly she felt Rainbow Dash's hoof on her left shoulder, and Rainbow Dash's chin on her right shoulder. "Hey, AJ! Working hard or hardly working?"

"Uh... mind givin' me a little personal space there, sugarcube?"

Rainbow Dash backed up. "Geez, sorry AJ."

"Ah didn't mean nothin' by it, it's just there's been some rumors goin' around the office lately 'bout us. Some ponies here think the two of us are, uh, well, ya know... really close."

"Well, duh! We're super close! BFFs forever! Team Appledash for the win!"

"Ah don't mean that. Ah mean, uh... they think that you're a... you know.. and that I'm also... uh... ya know."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "I don't quite get what you're trying to say."

"Don't you go makin' me say it out loud now" said Applejack, visibly uncomfortable.

Rainbow crossed her forelegs and gave Applejack a hard stare.

"Ya know, never mind, let's change the subject. It ain't important"

Rainbow continued to stare, and Applejack was starting to squirm uncomfortably.

"Well.. uh.. the thing they're sayin' is... uh... that, like, in addition to... uh... our professional relationship and, uh, friendship, that we also sometimes, uh..."

Rainbow suddenly broke down laughing. "Oh, you should see the... hahaha... you should see the look on your face!"

Now it was Applejack's turn to be confused. "What in the hay?"

"Half of Ponyville thinks I'm a filly-fooler! I've known that forever! I just don't say anything about it 'cause it's fun to leave 'em guessing! You would not believe how many mares tried to get with me back in my Wonderbolts days."

"Oh" said Applejack, blushing. "Ah didn't know that."

"I won't lie to you. I tried it out a bit. Wasn't really my thing. Anyway, back on the job now, I came here to let you know that Gilda disappeared."

That was a sudden shock to Applejack's system. "What? Ah thought you were followin' her after she got outta the dungeon."

"Yeah, but some genius had the bright idea to have an Earth pony agent follow her. No offense."

"None taken."

"So anyway, first opportunity she got, she flew away, and that's the last that anypony anywhere knows about her. My guess is she's keeping a low profile, but I know she's not going to stay quiet for long. It's not her style..."

Rainbow noticed that Applejack was looking over her shoulder. She turned around to see what she was looking at.

Shining Armor had walked in the front door, in his full uniform. Ponies stood up in their desks to salute him. Applejack and Rainbow Dash did as well.

"At ease." said Shining Armor quietly, and everyone in the office returned to their work, looking about twice as busy as they had been before he walked in.

In the few seconds since his entrance, Applejack had already picked up on a subtle difference in his demeanor. He seemed not to hold himself as surely as he normally did. And his voice sounded weak. At least for the two words she had heard. Seeing the two of them, Shining Armor walked their direction. As he walked he was looking at the floor. That was also strange.

"AJ, Rainbow Dash. I know there's a big ongoing case, but my visit to Ponyville is just personal... How is she?"

They looked at each other, confused.

"Beggin' yer pardon but... who?" asked Applejack.

He raised his head and looked at both of them in surprise. "My sister. She hasn't told you?"

Applejack had a terrible feeling in her gut. A brief look at Rainbow told her that she felt the same.

Shining Armor continued. "Yesterday, Spike sent a message to Princess Celestia for the first time since Twily left Canterlot. It was sealed and addressed to me, so she passed it to me without looking at it herself." his voice started to waver. "Twily's... dying."

-

Pinkie Pie followed Twilight Sparkle down into the basement. There was a large blood stain on the far end, and a blood trail leading to the storage room, where Twilight had dragged Trixie's body. The sudden realization of what they had done hit Pinkie. She sat down, staring at where the blood trail disappeared under the door. It seemed as if the room went dark. Her eyes began to turn to either side slowly, and her hair suddenly went straight, like it had suddenly deflated. The world swirled in undulating patterns around her. She began to grin, feeling a strange compulsion to laugh at just how ridiculous the situation was.

Giggle at the ghostie.

She stood up, walked to the storage room door, and pushed it open. Inside were Gilda and Trixie, sitting at a small table eating cupcakes. They both turned their heads to look at Pinkie, who started giggling uncontrollably.

"Oh, you guys!" said Pinkie between giggling fits. "You were just joking around! Well, you got me!"

"Surprise!" said Trixie, using her magic to create miniature fireworks in the room. "Happy one-third-birthday!"

"Omigosh!" said Pinkie, skipping happily to the table with them. "I can't believe you remembered that today's exactly one third of the way to my next birthday from my last birthday! This is great!"

She thought she could hear the faint echo of Twilight's voice in the background.

-

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight yelled desparately. "Snap out of it! And put them down!"

Pinkie grabbed Trixie by the neck and pulled her up. "Did you hear something?" she said, mimicking Trixie's voice while wobbling her head around.

She dropped Trixie and responded to herself. "I think it sounded a bit like Twilight."

Pinkie suddenly jerked upward with a creepy smile, and shrank back down again. She grabbed Gilda by the beak, and moved the top of it up and down, mimicking Gilda's voice. "Oh, is Twilight coming? Please tell me you invited her!"

"Pinkie, this is not funny!" said Twilight.

-

"Oh, that's funny" said Trixie, pointing behind Pinkie.

Pinkie turned around to see a tiny little purple mouse on the counter. It was jumping up and down and yelling something with its tiny little squeaky voice. Pinkie leaned in to take a closer look.

"Pinkie! Cut that out and come back into the real world!" yelled the mouse.

"Wow, you can talk? I've never seen a purple mouse who can talk before. In fact, I've never seen a purple mouse, or a talking mouse, so this is new and exciting in a couple of ways at once. You know, this reminds me of a song that I just made up right now..."

"No! Don't..."

"Weeeeeelllllll....
There's a mouse in the house and it's squeaking words at me,
There's a mouse in the house and it speaks eloquently,
There's a teeny little mouse in this teeny bakery,
And it's speaking while it's squeaking and it's purple as can beeeeeeeeeee!"

"What in the hoof are you babbling about?" squeaked the odd little purple talking mouse.

"You, silly! You're just the cutest little thing. Right Gilda? Right Trixie?"

Gilda and Trixie responded one after another. "Yeah!"

"I. Am. Twilight. Sparkle." insisted the tiny purple mouse.

"You know, you do kind of look like Twilight, except for the being a mouse part. You must get that all the time."

The mouse instantly grew a pony-sized hoof which smacked Pinkie in the face.

Reeling from the pain, Pinkie suddenly...

Hiya!

AAAAGH! Geez... Pinkie!? You startled me! And you interrupted me mid-sentence.

Sorry. I think Twilight knocked me the wrong way.

The wrong way?

Yeah, I was going all kooky and Twi was trying to smack me back into my senses but I got confused and went the other way instead, so I'm here talking to you. Cool, huh?

You know, we pulled this fourth wall-breaking gimmick a couple chapters ago. I think it's getting a little tired.

You're probably right. I should get out of here. Hit me!

What?

It's the only way to wake me up! I know which way to go this time! C'mon, punch me right in the face real hard!

I don't want to hit you. You're a cute little pink pony. I just... can't.

Do you want this story to continue or not?

Oh all right. Shit, I don't even know how to write this. Might as well keep it in past-tense.

Then I punched Pinkie in the face.

-

Pinkie dropped the two bodies and froze. She looked around, seeing the room, the bodies, and Twilight. "This... this is real. We did this."

"Pinkie, you have to listen to me." said Twilight, her hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself for any of this. It's all on me. I got you into this situation. I killed Gilda and Trixie. Now, we just have to work together to get this problem solved. We have to find a way to get rid of these bodies."

Twilight was caught off guard by a loud knocking sound coming from upstairs.

"I'll ignore that..." said Pinkie. "The sign outside says we're closed."

Before Twilight could say anything back, the knocking came again, this time accompanied by the familiar voice of Rainbow Dash. "Pinkie Pie! Are you in there? I need to talk to you! It's about Twilight and it's very important!"

Twilight froze for a moment, then thought of her letter to Shining Armor, and realized what Rainbow Dash now knew. "Pinkie. Go upstairs. Talk to her. I'll wait down here for you."

Pinkie nodded and walked up the stairs.

As she waited in the basement for Pinkie's return and their inevitable conversation about her illness, Twilight occupied her mind. She had two objectives - one was to dispose of the two bodies in a way that nopony would ever find them. The other was to finish what they started. They still had a batch of Spark on hand, and most of the ingredients necessary to finish a second batch. They just needed to repair the balloon that they had stashed in the Everfree Forest, and they needed to replenish their supply of parasprite wings that she had used for the explosion in the...

That was it! Twilight had the perfect idea to take care of two problems at once.

The solemn look on Pinkie's face confirmed Twilight's suspicions. She knew about her condition, and by now everypony in Ponyville probably did.

Pinkie struggled to keep her voice steady, holding back tears. "I... I know why you're... you're doing this now... I understand."

"I'm sorry. I should have told you but I..."

Pinkie finally lost control and started crying so hard that Twilight could literally see fountains of tears spraying from her eyes. Then in the blink of an eye the tears stopped, Pinkie's hair popped back into its usual poofy shape, and her fur seemed to regain its usual color. "Okey dokey lokey. Let's get back to work!"

"Wow. That was... fast. Why are you..."

"We're the good guys! There's a good reason for what we're doing! Bad stuff happened, and that made me sad. And you're sick, and that made me sad too. But I'm no use moping around like a sad little saddy pie. As long as we do things for the right reason, everything is gonna be AOK! So what's the plan?"

Twilight was always amazed at how quickly Pinkie's mood could change. It was enough to make her head spin, but she just went with it, something which years of knowing Pinkie had taught her to do. "Pinkie, how many musical instruments do you have now?"