7 Human in Ponyland

Chapters

Chapter 2: A Town of Colorful Talking Ponies.
Chapter 3: Big babies... Wait! Hold on Jeff!!!
Chapter 4: Punch, Snacks, and Hamburgers!! ...Why are the ponies now staring at me?
Chapter 5: Home Movement, Jobs, and Tickets
Chapter 6: How do you like these apples?
Chapter 7: Bully Beatdown: Ponyville Edition
Chapter 8: The Bitch, The Bear, and the Bastards..
Chapter 9: They call her Dovah-shy.
Chapter 10: It's the hood, isn't it?
Chapter 11: I bet my mare can beat your mare.
Chapter 12: The Cutie Mark Gang is Formed
Chapter 13: Twilight, be like Frozen and Let It Go!
Chapter 14: Talented vs Fake
Chapter 15: Crusader's Night Out.
Chapter 16: The School Talent Show
Chapter 17: Dances with Buffalo.
Chapter 18: Tales of Rainbows and Butt Tattoos.
Chapter 19: Intervention within Intervention
Chapter 20: Pink Party
S2 Chapter 1: Tay Zonday would Sue
S2 Chapter 2: Twilight loses her chill!
S2 Chapter 3:Confronting Luna/Nightmare Ni-HERESY!!!
S2 Chapter 4: Iron Pet Competition
S2 Chapter 5: Rainbow Troll'd by Mare Do Well / Twilight trolled by Xavier
S2 Chapter 6: Spikezilla
S2 Chapter 7: Another reason to hate Valentines Day
S2 Chapter 8: The Nightmare Games/Yet another Intervention/Canterlot Party Crashers.
S2 Chapter 9: Bad Day to Be Honest (Calk Fliats Jaults)
S2 Chapter 10: Next Great Cider
S2 Chapter 11: Sticks, Stones, and Broken Bones/Nightmare's New Name
S2 Chapter 12: Fluttershy Grows a Pair.
S2 Chapter 13: Random Shorts
Chapter 14 S2: The Canterlot Weeding [April Fools]
S2 Finale Chapter 14: Canterlot Wedding pt 1
S2 Finale Chapter 14: Canterlot Gunning pt 2
S3 Chapter 1: Crystal Clear
S3 Chapter 2: Dawn of the Pink
S3 Chapter 3: Sombra's Curse pt.1 / How to Plant a Seed
S3 Chapter 4: Revenge of the Show Mare
S3 Chapter 5: Camping Make Up
S3 Chapter 7: Days of Boredom / Helping Hooves / Pony Air Bootcamp
S3 Chapter 8: Ditching the Cord.
Chapter: Pilot
Chapter 1: The two 'Where's and one 'When'
Chapter 21: Fuckin shit up at the Grand Gallopin Gala
S3 Chapter 6: Jack's First Apple Family Reunion

Chapter 2: A Town of Colorful Talking Ponies.

Chapter 2: A Town of Colorful Talking Ponies

Sunday 8/16th

Xavier's POV

I woke up at around 10:30am, so it says on my watch. I heard a humming noise coming from the garage. I opened it up to find the solar generator outside of the garage through the garage door. I'm guessing Jeff and Trae had to move the vehicles out of there so they could finally finish putting the pieces together. I'm surprised they did it themselves, or was, until I found out Hiroto was the one telling them what to do. That kid isn't normal. He's too smart for his own age.

I had fixed myself some cereal and bathed before heading out. Now this was the awkward part. Although we had power, we had no plumbing. No water or anything. It sucked. I'm not even going to talk about our bladder issues. Don't use your imagination. We ended up using gallons of water to fill the tub. I know I said I love the cold and all, but cold water isn't fun. After that, got dressed, put on a different hoodie, got the S&W, and left the house on my search for my missing sister. It was bright out, so I pulled my hood over my head to keep the sun from getting to my eyes. I had hoped she had taken refuge in one of the lollipop guild's houses.

I went back to the town and noticed there were an awful lot of colorful ponies. If I didn't know any better, it looked like they were conversing, buying, and selling things to each other like a human town. That was before they noticed me coming. They all stopped doing what they were doing, wearing the same look the pony from last night gave me. They were about half the size of an average man. Now I know why the buildings were so smaller than they should be. I'd be humored if I wasn't here for urgent business. I walked into the town. Saying that the ponies were giving me more then enough space, would be an understatement. It's as if I was wearing pony repellent. I swear, I could hear them talking about me. Talking ponies. I'm beginning to see how my sister might have saw one and left the house.

"What is that thing?"

"It's a monster! I've never seen anything it before!"

Okay, Brianna's not here. I thought.

"What does it want?"

"Looking for dinner probably!"

"That's the monster from last night!"

That last whisper made me turn my head. That same yellow pony from the night before locked up when I looked at her, just judging from her voice, it was female. She screamed bloody murder. It was at this point that the ponies started panicking. Some were running into things, some even running into each other trying to get away from me. Parents hid their foals, it was absolute madness. I expected one of them to yell "GODZILLA!!!" It would fit. Sure they're only half my size, but they sure are running like I'm 10 stories high and breathing fire.

"IT'S THE MONSTER FROM THE EVERFREE!!!"

To say the least, I was starting to get annoyed. I didn't have time for this. I had an important mission. I shook my head and kept walking through the panicking ponies. The commotion lasted around 3 minutes before it looked like a ghost town. At least now I can hear myself think. I could also hear a tomboyish voice calling out from behind me.

"Hey you! Freak of nature!"

I stopped for a brief moment and looked at the newcomer on my shit-list. Turns out, another pony. Should've guessed. A town full of colorful talking ponies. She had wings, a rainbow mane and tail. She glared at me with her magenta eyes. This is when it happened. Now wasn't the time for it, I knew it wasn't, but it was about to come out.

...

My inner troll.

I looked up at her as she was flying closer to me. I looked around for a moment as if figuring out who she was talking to.

"You!" she yelled.

I responded by quietly pointing my finger to me in a "who me?" motion.

"I don't see any other monsters!"

I shrugged my shoulders before turning back around and resuming my search. Or I would have if the flying pony didn't swoop down and clock me upside the head. It'd be nothing if it were hands, but these were hooves. The ones that would break your ribs if you stand directly behind a horse. I stumbled forward a bit, my jimmies now rustled. Oh, it was on. This flying pony was going to get hurt.

"Don't you ignore me! Do you know who I am? I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest flyer in Equestria!"

Something you should know about me. I'm not a gentleman. I am what you would call an egalitarian, which means in this case, if anyone, boy or girl, decides to lay a hand, hoof, tentacle, whatever on me, reason goes out of the window. This bitch is about to have the rainbow on her replaced with black and blue when I'm finished with her. She got too close to me. I guess she's not that bright.

"Had enough?"

My response, I punched her in the face as hard as I could, hoping to end this so I can get back to my goal. These ponies didn't look so tough, after all. Maybe she'd cry and go home. WRONG! She took another go at my head. I ducked, but she stopped behind me and used her hind legs to kick me in the back. That clever girl. Or clever mare. It hurt like hell, but by the looks of it, so did my punch. I could already see her left cheek swelling up a little. On one hand, I didn't want to hurt her to the point of causing marks. On the other hand, she's the one picking a fight with me and threw the first punch, and I would like to find my sister soon. I'm just wasting time with this Rainbow Dash.

I've had enough of this.

Third Person

Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's cottage

Fluttershy was doing everything she could for the creature. She put ointment on the monkey's cuts and even kept it warm since it was fur-less.

"Why isn't it waking up?" She thought.

As if her words were magic, the monkey began to open its eyes, mumbling something. Fluttershy couldn't believe it. It was mumbling words, and from the sound of her voice, it was a mare about her size standing up. She looked at the butter-colored pegasus.

"Where am I?"

"Um.. Hello there Miss Monkey. My name is Fluttershy and I-"

"TALKING HORSE!!"

Fluttershy began to tear up at being called a whorse.

"That's.. not very nice Miss monkey..."

"I'm dreaming! I have to be! I wanna wake up! I wanna go home!"

And with that, it was then she started tearing up and crying. Oh dear.. Fluttershy thought. She's just a scared little filly. She went up to the crying monkey.

"I'm sorry Miss Monkey but your owners left you in the woods."

"I AM NOT A MONKEY! I AM BRIANNA!!" Brianna screamed.

Brianna never really did like being picked on, and her being called a monkey sounded like teasing to her. Her screaming however, frightened Fluttershy to no end, even if she was just a filly. Brianna's stomach then grumbled. Fluttershy realized she had not eaten all day. Being the Element of Kindness, she told her to stay while she got her something to eat. Five minutes later, she came back with a small bowl of salad, having lettuce, chopped tomatoes and carrots (much to Angel's disliking), and daisy flowers. Of course, Brianna picked out the daisy flowers but ate the rest.

"Thank you Miss Horsey Lady..", mumbled Brianna.

"You're welcome.", Fluttershy smiled. "And my name is Fluttershy. Do you have a name?"

"I told you I'm Brianna."

This clearly wasn't a monkey. Monkeys and apes don't talk. She started to see the difference between the average monkey and the creature sitting in front of her. The nose was different and her ears were smaller. She had one slim line of hair over both of her eyes. If it hadn't been for the woods, she could've sworn her mane was well brushed and combed.

"Brianna?" Fluttershy sat on her haunches.

"Huh?"

"What are you?"

"I'm a girl."

"A girl? What's a girl like you doing out in the middle of the Everfree forest? Is your home there?"

"My house is far across from the woods."

"I can take you there... if that's okaywith you.."

"Let's go then!"

This seemed to have brightened up Bri's day. She hopped on Fluttershy's back, holding onto her. Fluttershy gasped in shock.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Riding a horsey!"

Fluttershy wondered why she was calling her a whorse still. She's just a filly. She shouldn't be speaking such harmful language.

"Why are you being mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm not being mean. You're a horse! H-O-R-S-E. Horse. ...right?"

Fluttershy giggled. Now she understood.

"No Brianna. I'm a pony, not a horse."

"OOooooooooooh."

They left the cottage with Brianna still riding on Fluttershy. She still found it awkward, but her mind was put at ease when she found that this alien filly was still innocent. Brianna led her down a path towards Ponyville. They reached the road intersection to Sweet Apple Acres and Ponyville when Roseluck came running up to them trying to get to Applejack.

"Oh hello...Roseluck." Fluttershy greeted.

"Fluttershy!!! You've got to come with me to get Applejack! There's a monster in Ponyville and he wants to eat us!"

"I'm sure it's just lo-"

"EEEEEEEEEK!!! THERE'S ANOTHER ONE ON YOUR BACK FLUTTERSHY GET IT OFF!!!"

Fluttershy gasped. She can't be talking about Brianna. She's not a monster. She's too innocent.

"Brianna isn't a big mean monster. She's just a filly..." Fluttershy stated meekly. Brianna stuck her tongue out at Roseluck who proceeded to Sweet Apple Acres. This led Fluttershy to think. Are there more than one of her here? Maybe they could take her home. She set her way to Ponyville in quick speeds, Brianna screaming 'weee' on her back.

When they got there, the town looked empty, with the exception of two beings, locked in battle. One of them looked more like Brianna, but taller, masculine, and a hood over its head. That one was fighting her friend Rainbow Dash. When Brianna saw, she climbed off of Fluttershy's back and screamed at the taller being.

"Xavier!!"

-Xavier's POV-

When I heard that voice, I turned to it. My little sister was running towards me, away from another pony with wings. She had a butter yellow coat and a pink mane. He could hear her telling her to wait and that it was dangerous. That one was probably looking after my sister all this time. I turned my attention to Rainbow Dash. It looked like she was coming at me in high speeds, but her wings turned.

"I'll save you Fluttershy!"

She was after my sister, thinking she was another 'dangerous monster'. That's not all I saw. Someone from one of the houses chucked a vase at Brianna. My adrenaline was really high at this moment that time seemed to slow down. The vase was hurling at my sister, Rainbow Dash was flying at my sister as well, but the other pony was running beside her. She was going to take the hit for my sister! I knew what i had to do.

I pointed the gun away from Rainbow Dash and pulled the trigger.

POW!

The oncoming vase shattered into pieces, the water within splashed over both Fluttershy and Brianna. She's going to have to change when we get home. The unexpected loud noise from my weapon scared the Fluttershy and startled Rainbow Dash, causing her wings to snap closed and face plant in front of Brianna who in turn laughed at her.

I stepped towards Rainbow Dash and aimed my weapon down at her head before she could get up. Her pupils shrunk to pinpricks. I believe she saw what the weapon did to the vase.

"If you ever. Go after my sister like that again, your head will become just like that vase. Do you hear me?"

Rainbow Dash nodded her head rapidly. Fluttershy was shaking in her hooves. This just won't do. I walked over to Fluttershy, knelt down on one knee and scratched behind her ears. Fluttershy flinched, but relaxed as if she was enjoying it. I think I may have found the pony weak spot. I stopped and looked at her directly in her eyes.

"Thanks for taking care of her. You're too kind."

She gave a smile and a nod. With that I stood up and looked around. I saw the ponies peeking through their windows, and I think I saw a purple unicorn hiding around the corner, jotting down notes on a floating notepad with a floating quill and ink. I shook my head. He looked back at Fluttershy.

"You can teach these ponies something about kindness."

She looked off to the side, hiding her face behind her mane. Was that a blush? Cute. I gave her one more pat on the head before heading back out of town, Bri in tow. As I left the town, I peeked over my shoulder and noticed the ponies coming out of their houses, looking at me. That's when it started happening again. I let go of my sister's hand and spun around, parted my legs, my arms out wide, my hands in the claw position, and growled.

"GRAAAAAAARGH!!!"

They ran right back into their houses. I knew I was going to pay for this one day. Damn you inner troll.

-Applejack's POV-

This crazy mare dun dragged me outa my house to talk about some monster. Ah know some weird stuff's been happenin' with that storm and all, but ah bet it aint nothin big. With Roseluck followin' behind me talkin' bout a monster tryin to chew his way through Sugarcube Corner, I could barely here some hummin noise. It's that there buildin' again. Heck I'm done with my work for the day. Ah'm gonna go check it out. Ah started to go towards the strange buildin.

"Applejack! Where are you going! Ponyville is that way! The monster is probably eating the foals!!"

"Look Sugarcube, there aint any monster eatin up no foals in Ponyville."

As ah got closer it looked like somepony's house, but ah ain't never seen no house like this here one infront of us. Ah looked at the windows and how they lit up. Somethin's odd here. While ah was thinking, somethin dun jumped on my back with Rosie screamin her head off.

"PONIES!!!"

Ah'd never been scared in mah entire life. Whatever this here thing was, it was probably what Rosie was talkin 'bout. I was kickin' and buckin' harder than apple buckin' a stubborn tree. Ah ain't tryin' ta get eatin' by no monster. Ah finally thought about rollin over. It had finally let go and fell off of me. Ah turned around and got a good look at the critter. It was a small lil thing. Ah nearly felt silly until Roseluck started screamin again.

"IT'S ANOTHER ONE!!! BUCK IT! BUCK IT BACK TO THE EVERFREE!!"

Ah looked at Rosie. She'd dun lost her darn apples. Ah took a look at the critter again.

"He dun look like he'd hurt a fly. The way its lookin, if ah didn't know better ah'd say he look like he's bout ta-"

"WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"-cry."

Author's Note

Where one problem ends, another one begins. Oh Roseluck. :derpytongue2:

Please don't rage about how I Roseluck behave. She always seemed like the comically paranoid type to me.

Next up: The humans and ponies have a proper meeting.

Chapter 3: Big babies... Wait! Hold on Jeff!!!

Sunday 8/16th

-Jack's POV-

Well let's take a long look at our situation. Good news, we have shelter, we have power, the AC works (for now), we have guns for defense, and with power comes entertainment. This is where the bad news comes in. We're still considered stranded. We have no cable TV, no internet, I don't think there are phone towers here so our phones can't get signal call for help, no water, and because we have no water, no one here has bathed! It's starting to smell like a mixture between mildew, gravy, and dead fish mixed together with gunpowder. I'm not sleeping in this stink. I'm gonna ask Trae if we could open the windows at night.

Jack sighed. How did this all happen again? We were having a get together, and then we ended up here, wherever 'here' is. Xavier's sister went missing, and I got stuck on generator duty with Trae and Hiroto. And now I'm in a smelly house with no internet. It was about then that I heard Jonathan crying outside. The kid probably tripped and got a little scrape. That big baby. He's 8. How much longer is he gonna cry over scrapes like that? I was on my way outside when I heard two ladies talking. Probably a couple of local ladies. A grin creeped up on my face as I began to think of what to say to impress the two. I thought about playing as a super caring protective older brother. Girls like those types, right? This was a fool proof plan!

I gather my thoughts before I burst out of the door.

"Jonathan bro!" I yelled.

I lept beside him, picking him up from the ground. I hugged my little bro like he was on his last breath.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER! I will never let you out of my sight again because I care about you SO much!!!"

"I -hic- fell off the ponies an' got a boo-boo!"

"Don't worry! You're safe with me now!" I said, cradling the crying kid as he pointed to his scraped knee. Big baby...

That's when I heard another voice.

"T-there's more of them?!"

I looked up and saw two small horses. Ponies actually. One was an orange-coated yellow maned one with a cowboy hat on. This has got to be the first time I saw any equine with green eyes. The other, a yellow-coated red and pink maned pony with... I couldn't see the eye color, the pupils were too small for some reason, and this one's mouth was wide open. Something was wrong with this one. Disease? Might have to tell the owner and have it put down. I thought so until its... no, her mouth started moving.

"There are more of these creatures?!?"

Talking ponies...

"Jonathan, you hear them talking right?"

"Yes"

"So I'm not crazy?"

"No.."

My mind went for a loop for a moment. Talking ponies. I didn't hear the orange one talking.

"Ah hope there ain't a problem here. I didn't mean ta harm the lil fella."

That's when the door kicked open, causing me to drop the boy in my arms causing him to wail again. All I needed to hear was a shotgun being pumped before I turned around and saw Jeff aiming a M90 (what he calls it) at the two equines, his eyes looked ready to kill.

"Applejack! We're outnumbered! Do something!"

I turned to Jeff. "Wait! Hold on, Jeff! Let's not do anything rash!" He lowered his gun a bit, but his finger were still on the trigger.

"Applejaaaack! We're doomed! Oh the horror! The horror!" the yellow one screamed. Meanwhile, Jonathan was still crying.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!"

I just stared at the scene before me. Jonathan's a drama queen. It seemed the orange pony the other one called Applejack was looking at her friend the same way. I decided to say something to her since she could talk.

"Looks like we have two whiny babies here."

"And one of 'em's a full grown mare." stated a deadpanning Applejack.

"And the other is an 8 year old boy who cries over scrapes." I turned to Jeff. "Can you get lil bro a band-aid?"

Jeff had looked at me quizically. "It's just a scratch." he replied.

"It'll make him feel better. Get the alcohol too."

The ruckus outside had caused the rest of the remaining group which was only Trae and Hiroto, the later looking as if he was trying to find some kind of logic inside of that big brain of his for ponies talking. The former was standing there, staring at the two ponies.

"I do not understand.." was all Hiroto was able to say.

"I don't like this place." Jeff said, coming back out with a bandaid, cotton balls, and alcohol.

I have to side with Jeff on this one, I thought. Something about this place was off and down right weird. Firstly, I didn't say this earlier but last night I noticed the sky was purple. Not to mention the air seems more breathable. Are we even on the same world? And yesterday, I spotted a city on the side of a mountain. I pondered my thoughts throughout Jonathan's whimpering while Trae walked up to Applejack and asked her,

"Hey, ma'am. I suppose you live around here. Where are we?"

"Ah reckon ya'll ain't from around here, are ya? 'Cus ah ain't never see any critters like ya'll before. Ah ain't even know ya'll speak Equish You're right outside o' Ponyville."

Ponyville? Trae and I looked at each other. Ponyville. I guess that would be a good place for Xavier to look for his sister. Speak of the devil, the person in thought walked up to the house. He looked a little dirtied up. Did he run into something in the woods? Brianna was following behind him. So he did find her. Good for him! Trae continued.

"What state or country is this Ponyville in?"

"The state o' Ponyville? Well its in a pretty good state if ya ask me."

"That's not what I meant."

"And our nation is called Equestria. What lands did you strange fellers come from?"

I decided to answer this one. "Ever heard of the United States of America?"

"Can't say Ah have, partner, although I like the name. Sounds like a place o' unity."

I had to chuckle at that. "It used to be." I said in my head. I'm not much of a politics person. Xavier said that it was just grown men and women arguing like little kids about how a country should be ran, and manipulating the masses to get their way and throwing tantrums when they don't. I had to agree because it pretty much like Hiroto and Jonathan were 3 years ago, arguing who does what chore which day and who gets to play with this toy and what not. Dealing with them was a handful. I imagined them being replaced by older adults and decided I will never touch politics. Xavier spoke up.

"Hey guys."

He looked at the two ponies, but the look on his face left questions.

"What do you two want?" He asked in a bit of a hostile tone.

Wait.. Does he know these ponies?

"Xavier, are you familiar with these two or somethin?" I asked him.

"The yellow girl over there started an annoying riot that made everyone there hate-slash-fear me, which lead to some rainbow-maned flying pony to... 'confront' me."

Applejack gave a look to the other pony. "Goshdarnit Roseluck!"

The mare in subject, dubbed Roseluck, gave a sheepish grin.

"Is that why you look like crap?" I asked.

"Heh. Yeah, she got a few good hits in, but you should see her face."

Applejack turned to glare at Xavier. "I don't think I heard ya clearly. Did you hurt Rainbow Dash?"

"She started it. And then to add on to it, she charged after my little sister too." He gestured to Brianna behind him. "And then some douche decided to throw a vase at my sister also. I swear if it wasn't for this Fluttershy pony, there'd be body counts. Rainbow Dash would've been one of them. She's lucky I showed restraint."

Traevon looked like he wanted to say something but didn't. I think he was going to have a chat with his young brother.

"That don't make it right to just go out and injure somepony!" Applejack yelled.

Now I think I'm not the one hearing things clearly. "Did she not just hear what Xavier said? She started it!" Xavier put his hand over his head for a moment before asking her a question.

"Say, what's your name?"

"It's Applejack."

He gave her a look that I've known him long enough to know what it meant. There were jokes to be thrown at her at a later time. He gathered himself and continued.

"You have family, right? Siblings?"

"Eeyup! A big brother and a little sister." She said it like it was going to save her life

"What would you do if your sister was lost, and after some time, you were attacked, and saw your sister about to be attacked by the same attacker?"

"Ah'd buck the my attackers to the middle o' next week." The look on her face after she said that showed that she was beginning to understand his situation.

"And I don't know much about you ponies or how you live. I honestly didn't want to cause any trouble. Hell, you can ask that purple unicorn that's poorly hiding behind that tree. She's been following me since I left your town." Xavier pointed to where the woods were, and surely enough, I saw a quill, ink, and paper floating in a lavender glow. It had stopped as soon as he pointed.

Applejack smirked. "Oh that's jus' Twilight. She's new in town. She's Princess Celestia's personal student."

"Princess who?" I thought.

Applejack saw my look. "You know, Princess Celestia. Ruler of Equestria, the Princess that raises and lowers the sun?"

"Bullshit." Both me, Jeff, and Hiroto said at the same time.

Applejack flinched at such language. "Uh, no it ain't."

"You expect me to believe that your 'Princess' can move a celestial ball of fire in outer space from here?"

Now it was Applejack's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Well yeah! I reckon everypony knows that much to say the least. Don't believe me? It's almost night time now. Just watch!"

Soon enough, we all saw what didn't make sense. The sun descended faster than it was supposed to. And then the moon rose up from the horizon just as fast. Ho Lee Schitt!!! I think I just heard Hiroto faint behind me. I turned around, stepped over my adopted brother and went back in the house after giving everyone a loud, "NOPE!" However, when I closed the door, I was tackled by a pink blur. When I came to, there was a pink, fluffy-maned pony staring at me with probably the most happiest grin I haven't seen in ages.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you! What are you? I have never seen anything like you before! What are you? Are you an alien? Do you like cupcakes?"

-Xavier's POV-

As soon as Jack closed the door, I heard a thump from inside the house along with excessive chatter. I looked through the glass and saw him pinned by a bouncy looking pony who was talking a mile a minute. I turned to everyone.

"How did she get in the house. The doors are locked."

The same voice that I heard inside, I started hearing as if it was right beside me, causing me to jump. "I went through the chimney, silly! Ooh! There's more of you! Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm the bestest party planner in Ponyville! Ooh! I have an idea! Let's throw you a 'Welcome to Planet Equis' party! There'll be cupcakes and games and pin the tail on the pony and then we'll become friends! I'm friends with everypony! And then- "

Applejack had her hoof over the pink mare's mouth. Jack came back out holding his head and asked, "Has Ritalin pills been created here yet?"

I chuckled at his joke, but then it hit me. "We don't have a chimney."

"Don't ya worry about it. 'ts just Pinkie being Pinkie."

-Fluttershy's POV-

Rainbow and I flew back to my cottage. She kept insisting that she was fending the 'monsters' away from Ponyville. I don't think that being was a monster. That thing he had saved me and his sister from getting hurt. He was scary but he wasn't evil or mean. I smiled, thinking about his words to me.

"You can teach these ponies something about kindness."

The more I thought about it, the less scarier he was to me. I know he has a playful side from his little stunt on his way out of Ponyville. Though... I feel like I should help him get some friends. It doesn't seem like he has any. Maybe I can get my friends to be friends with him. Maybe starting with Rainbow Dash?

"Rainbow Dash. I think we should talk.. That's.... if it's okay with you, that is."

"Ookay?"

I opened my door and walked into my home. I greeted all of my animal friends. Rainbow Dash sat on the couch. I had sat next to her.

"Didja bring me here to thank me for fending off the monster?" She asked.

"Rainbow, they aren't monsters. The nice being you fought was just looking for his sister. I don't think he was there to hurt anypony."

I had walked into the kitchen to get some ice for Rainbow's face.

"Ponies wouldn't be scrambling around like that for no reason! He obviously did something to hurt somepony, so I kicked his flank!"

"I know but ponies can be quick to jump to conclusions. Do you remember that one time Lilly saw Harry in my house and came back with guards?"

"The bear? Yeah but that's different. He's your friend. You've been friends for a while."

"What if the thing is just like Harry? Maybe somepony jumped to conclusions just because of how big and different he is from us."

"That's.. Well... But... He..."

I think she's finally starting to get the message I'm trying to send. I handed her a bag of ice and she pressed it against her cheek.

"Maybe you should give him a chance and find out more about him and his sister. The little one was harmless and was pretty nice when I talked to her a little. She's just a filly."

"Yeah yeah I get it. I messed up, okay?!" Rainbow hates being wrong. I smiled at her.

"Maybe we can find him tomorrow. I think you and the others should be his new friends."

Rainbow smiled a little. "Yeah. And maybe I can have Twi find some way to heal my face before somepony else sees me."

I smiled. I think I just helped both of them. "I'm looking forward to spending time with you, Brianna."

Author's Note

That ends Chapter three. I have already started working on Chapter four.

I'm not quite sure I like how this chapter turned out. I've reread it, fixed some minor mistakes in grammar (I try to pay a lot of attention to grammar, not including dialect) and tried not to miss any details. If you like the story hit that thumbs up button. If not, I'm always open for listening to suggestions and tips on improvement.

Anyway, next chapter: Pinkie Party! :pinkiesmile: :pinkiehappy:

Chapter 4: Punch, Snacks, and Hamburgers!! ...Why are the ponies now staring at me?

Chapter 4: Punch, Cider, and Hamburgers! ...Why are ponies now staring at me?

Monday 8/17th

-Xavier's POV-

I woke up the next morning. Nobody slept well the previous night. It smelled like utter shit. I guess that's what happens when a group of seven doesn't bathe in 2 and 3/4th days. The house becomes smelly. The first thing I did was turn on the fans in the house and then I opened all of the windows. Yes, we all bathed in a river in the Everfree. After the ponies left, Jack brought it up that we should probably wash.

Jeff, Jack, and I made a trip through the Everfree Forest, as the ponies called it. We were a lot careful than we were last time. The ponies say that dangerous creatures roam around at night. We didn't have much trouble at the time. We ended up getting several gallons of water from the river there. We ended up meeting a sea serpent or something. He called himself Steven Magnet. The femininity was radiating from him like the sun. Jeff started calling him Steven Fag-net after we left. Something you should know about Jeff is that he's what you would call a 'manly man.' He's a headstrong, masculine, Gung-ho man. He's one of bro's best friends, although I can't see how. Maybe he likes bro's music. Jeff is the type of guy you'd see kicking ass in bar fights. His rule to anyone outside of his circle: "Fuck with my good bros and sis's, you fuck with me. And you do not want to fuck with me." It's a good thing I didn't take him with me when Rainbow Dash confronted me, or she'd now be Rainbow Lead. With that said, I've learned that one of his peeves are feminine males of any kind. We asked him, and he said they 'rubbed him the wrong way.' I'm not sure how to take that, but I left it alone.

Anyway, we ended up bathing the old fashion way, with heating the water, filling the tubs, trying not to be the last one to bathe in everyone else's filth, and seeing who's going to go after Brianna. The order was Brianna, then Hiroto, then Jonathan, then Jack, then Traevon, Me, and Jeff. We all agreed we wouldn't do that again unless we really had to. Unfortunately, the smell still lingered on into the morning.

After I opened up the windows, I looked at my watch. It was going on 10. I opened a fresh box of Applejacks and silently laughed. I had told her yesterday that I had a box of cereal in the pantry that shared her name. "I mean look at it. Orange (her coat) and Green (her eyes) with red dots (her butt tattoo)." The only thing it's missing is her mane color. After I finished my bowl, I placed it in the sink. That was until I remembered we had no water to wash the dishes! "Dammit!" Oh well. That's a bridge I'll cross when I get to it.

I went to the front door and opened it when I saw a pink letter on the ground infront of it. I picked it up and read "7 Invitations to the 'Welcome to Equuis' Pinkie-Party at 5:00pm" Pinkie's really going to throw us a party. I guess it'll be a party of 7. I doubt a lot of ponies will show up. Applejack told me about her and her new friends saving the world from eternal night just a few days before we got here. I decided no o tell her that they actually saved all life in general (The sun's energy being at the beginning of the food chain. Biology, people!). They're pretty much heroes. And I just beat up one of them. Hoo-boy... Bro did let me have it after the ponies left. Or he would've, if it wasn't for the stink.

I went back inside, put on a fresh hoodie along with the rest of my clothes, got my zen MP3 player and headphones (don't get a lot of base using shit earphones), and went for a little walk. He decided that music would drown out the panic when he arrived in Ponyville, which it did. In fact he foresaw this very moment and wondered if a certain theme would go with the scrambling ponies. "Heheh. It really does go with everything." I thought. I looked around, the only ponies that didn't run this time was a mint-green unicorn that was staring at me with a surprised look for some reason, Roseluck, who gave me a sheepish grin as I passed her, and some brown 'Earth pony" with an hourglass tattoo. He seemed shocked more than anything. Something about his mane though seems awfully familiar.

Moving on, I came across a tree, which actually turned out to be a building within a tree. I took my headphones off as curiosity lead me to knock on the door.

"Hey. Got some cookies for me in there?"

I was expecting elves for some reason, but when the door opened, it was that stalker unicorn again. Twilight, if I remember correctly. The moment she saw me, I figured she'd most likely slam the door in my face. She did the exact opposite. She opened the door, forced me inside, and then slammed the door shut.

"Hey! Uh, what's up? What's with the pullin?"

Instead of looking at me in fear like the other ponies, she was looking at me with some freakish grin. I'm going to be straight, I was starting to get nervous. Stuck with a pony that started to remind me of the overly attached girlfriend.

"Oh I dunno, I was hoping to maybe get to know you better?" she responded.

"Well, you could've started by introductions before pulling me in here like that, and then grinning at me like a crazy cat lady with newborn kittens."

She gave me a sheepish smile at that before continuing.

"I'm sorry. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is the town's library. It's also my home. I just wanted to be the first to ask questions about you and your kind, your culture, your history, everything!"

A library? I thought this was a bakery, but that explains all of the books.

"Well, I don't know everything, but I don't wanna stay out too long or my folks might get worried."

She started giving me the sad eyes...

...

I was 'un-phased' by this tactic, but being ever so generous, I decided to make an offer.

"Hey, Twilight was it?" she nodded. "How would you like to come to a party being thrown? I'll invite you, and you can ask any one of us any questions you'd like, as long as it's appropriate."

She jumped onto me, wrapping her hooves around me, something I didn't think was possible for them to do.

"OHTHANKOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU SOOOO MUCH!!!"

"Squeezing..."

She let go of me and made up to her room. "I need time to gather my thoughts and prepare the questions! Spike! Spiiiiiiike!"

Yeah, I'm gonna bail. After I left the library I noticed the ponies were out and about again. Guess they thought Twilight 'took care of me' because when they saw me again, they were scrambling, again. This is just too fun. I know it's bad for me to think like that, but it's one of those things that unintentionally happens but yet I find hilarious. I came across an open area with statues, flags, and a fountain. There was also a flagged building in the middle. The flags and banner told me everything I needed to know. This must be the town hall. "Yeah, I'm going to stay away from this area before pony agents snipe the monster."

I kept walking until I came across a building by the edge of the city. It looked like a girly merry-go-round, especially with the pony figurines near the top. I peaked through the window and saw a white mare working on a blue fancy dress. In fact, she had a lot of fancy diamond-studded dresses hung up in places, and on mannequins, or ponnequines. I decided to knock on the door, and heard a sing-songy voice.

"One minute~"

Less than a minute she opened up the door and I got a good look at her. She had purple curly mane, purple curly tail, blue eyes with eyeshadow on. "Ponies wear makeup?" I quickly refocused. I didn't want anyone, let alone her, to think I was checking her out or anything. However, she had a horrified expression. Strangely enough, she wasn't looking up at me, but at my clothes.

"What are those... horrible rags you're wearing?!"

Yup. She don' messed up right there. I already didn't like her. I was never too much of a fan for the rich fancy snooty types, and I sure didn't appreciate anyone that talked down to the hoodies.

"It's called a hoodie and jeans, ma'am." I retorted.

"This just will not do, darling! You must come inside. Right now! I won't take no for an answer! The name is Rarity, dear."

Okay, I didn't know what was going on, but I always got bad vibes from people who 'won't take no for an answer'. Like that one time that salesman showed up at my door when bro was at work. The dude tried to squeeze his way into my house. So I punched him in the face and threatened to call the cops if he didn't leave. Wait... I didn't have any money. Well, I did, but not their kind.

"What're you going to do? I don't have any money, so yeah, might as well show me to the door."

"I don't want your bits, dear. I'm going to make you clothes so you will never have to walk around in those rags ever again! They're just so heinous, and plain! It's a bit early to dress up for Nightmare Night, darling."

The fuck? "Did I just get burned by a fashionista unicorn?" Alright, I was getting tired of this.

"Look, I understand the jeans are a bit worn, but you're kinda starting to get offensive here. I kinda like the hoodies I wear, and I was never a fan of flashy clothing."

"My apologies, dear. I guess not everyone can have such refined taste in clothing as much as I do."

"And by refined taste, I suppose you mean flashy and sparkly. Yeah, definitely not me."

"Suit yourself then." She said.

And that's exactly what I did. I left her little shop, at least thanking her for the offer first. Sure she was ripping on my style but she did offer me free clothes. I didn't like that place anyway. I felt like I was losing my manliness just by being in there. So much pink, baby blue, and purple. Yeah, I won't be visiting her too much while I'm here, besides her being like the annoying mother I never had. I was then stopped by a small purple and green lizard who was glaring at me.

"Hey you! Leave Rarity alone, you monster! She's not on the menu!"

"Hey, listen here ya purple football! I-"

"And while you're at it, leave Twilight alone too!"

With that, he raised both of his fists up and started jogging in place, like Roginald from Family Guy. "I wonder if I say the word, 'penis', will he fall over?"

"Who and what are you? I thought this was a pony world."

"I'm a dragon! It's Sir Spike to you, creature!"

I looked at him. "Dragons. Go figure. Unicorns, ponies with wings, princesses moving the sun and moon, and now dragons." I thought. Might as well throw in griffins and minotaurs too. What other mythical creatures exist here? I decided to at least give the little guy my name.

"It's Xavier."

"What?"

"Xavier. That's my name. And can you keep a secret?" He looked at me quizzically. I walked up to him and kneel down to him and whispered, "I don't really eat ponies, but watching ponies scatter around is hilarious."

"Why?"

"I find it funny they believe I'm some sort of pony-eating monster, when I'm actually just an alien that ended up here. Twilight seems interested in studying me, and Rarity doesn't like hoodies."

"Well, if you're not trying to eat ponies, then leave Rarity alone! She has somepony! And uh, she doesn't need anymore suitors than that one!" Yup. This lizard has a thing for Rarity.

"She's all yours, bro."

"W-what?!"

"I know you want her. To be frank, she ain't my type."

Watching him fluster around blushing is almost as entertaining as watching ponies cower around, screaming like Spathi. I just left him in his own pull of sweat. I just wanted to walk around and survey the area. I passed the gingerbread looking house that I certainly did not try to taste. Before I could knock on the door though, the door opened and out came the pink party pony.

"Hello Xavi! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! This is where I work and bake treats for everypony! Come on in! I want you to meet the cakes!"

With that, she turned around and hopped back inside. "I think Le Pew wants his hopping back." I didn't say. There were two ponies behind the corner. One of them was a blue mare with a pink swirly mane and tail (she looked a bit overweight to me compared to the rest of the ponies) that screamed on the top of her lungs when she saw me. Another stallion, yellow coat, orange mane and tail, started yelling at Pinkie."

"Pinkie get away from that thing before it eats you!"

Pinkie gasped in offense. "Mr. Cake! That's not a very nice thing to say to one of my new friends! Look! You hurt his feelings."

Yes, I guess it would appear that way, because I was covering my face. I was actually trying my absolute best to hide my grin and to not laugh. This was going to have to stop soon for the others' sake, but dammit if I wasn't going to milk the entire thing for laughs. This was probably a once in a lifetime opportunity for me.

"Bringing monsters here is the last thing we need, Pinkie! I know you're new here, but I didn't think I'd have to tell you to not bring exotic monsters here. The stress on my wife is bad for our foals!"

"Foals? Wait... She's pregnant? Holy shit!" I thought. "Yeah Pinkie, I really think I should leave these two alone."I said.

I was then hearing a lot of "It talks?" from the customers.

I turned to the married couple. "I'm really sorry if I scared the two of you. Especially you, Misses..."

"Cake." Mrs. Cake finished for me.

"I'll go ahead and get out of your hair. I guess I'll come back when I seem less scary." I turned around and left. Pinkie felt a bit sad for me and followed close behind me. It then hit me. I sure hope I didn't accidentally make them feel guilty. Guilt = more stress. More stress + pregnancy = bad. My thoughts were interrupted by the mare following behind me.

"I'm really sorry. I forgot to tell them you weren't a pony. Now the party is ruined!" Oh no. She's about to cry. Needed to think quickly.

"I have a house too, you know. You could just throw us a party there."

"But the surprise would be ruined!"

"I think there's been enough surprises today, Pinkie." I stated

"Oh. Okie doki loki!"

"Do I look like a god of mischief?"

"Huh?" She looked at me.

"It's a human joke."

Pinkie and I went to the park and talked for a while about each other, her growing up on a rock farm, her sisters, why she loves throwing parties, up to meeting her friends. I would've told her about myself too, but she has something we humans like to call a 'motor mouth'. It was about 1 o clock when we decided to leave Ponyville, much to the townsponies relief. Pinkie asked me how it was to be tall, so I had decided to give her a piggy back ride. She wasn't really all that heavy. She weighed a bit lighter than Brianna. I guess ponies have better metabolism than human beings. For those with dirty minds, she tucked her tail in between her hind legs first.

We arrived at my house. Pinkie told them about the party being thrown there considering ponies were still afraid of me. Jack and Trae gave me different looks, the former grinning, the later giving me the evil glare. Brianna walked out as Pinkie hopped off of my back.

"Hi Xavier!"

"Hey Bri. What's up?"

"Can we go somewhere to eat?"

"Sure, I guess."

Pinkie spoke up. "But Xavier, you said you wouldn't go back to Sugarcube Corner."

Brianna's stomach growled. "I'm just going to get some Applejacks."

"That's a super duper fantastic idea! We can go over to Sweet Apple Acres!" Screamed Pinkie.

Brianna climbed on Pinkie's back. Jack decided to come too. He forced Jonathan to go as well so he could get out more.

Pinkie just giggled and started trotting, leading us to Sweet Apple Acres. It was about a 15 or 20 minute walk. When we got here, we found Applejack carrying a basket of apples into their farmhouse. I turned to the others.

"Alright. Here's what we're gonna do. Applejack told me that she lives with an older brother and a sister. She also lives with her grandmother. I don't wanna give her a heart attack or anything, so Pinkie, you're going to introduce us. After that, we'll be on our best behavior. Besides, Applejack's pretty nice. I think they would be too, right?"

"Eeyup."

Okay, that voice was WAY too deep to be Jack. I turned to where the voice came from and saw a big-ass red stallion looking dead at me. Everyone but Pinkie froze up and looked at him. His face was unreadable. It was one quiet moment before Jack broke the silence.

"Uh, hey."

"Howdy."

I spoke up next. "You don't think we're monsters, do you?"

"Nnope."

"So you trust us?"

"Eeyup."

"Why?"

He pointed a hoof towards Pinkie, who in turn waved.

"Hi Big Mac!"

"Howdy."

This guy's not a conversationalist, is he? We all walked up to the front door, and as planned, Pinkie knocked. Applejack opened the door.

"Howdy Pinkie. Come right on in! The rest o' ya too."

I heard a voice coming from another room as we entered. "Who is it Applejack?"

"We got guests Applebloom!"

"Really?!?" We heard tiny hoofsteps before a small filly came around the corner and froze at the sight of us.

"Applebloom, Ah want you to meet the... What did you say you fellers were again?" She asked, turning to us.

"We're humans." I answered.

"A hue-man?" Applebloom repeated.

"Yes. And before you ask, no we're not monsters here to eat you. In fact, how old are you?"

"Ah'm seven."

"So am I!!" Brianna screamed right from beside me. Damn! volume girl!

"Anyway, my name is Xavier, my friend here is Jack, the seven year old is my little sister Brianna, and the lighter kid is Jack's little bro, Jonathan."

After introductions were done, Applejack told us she was making pie for the party and a spare for the family. Applebloom was playing with Jonathan and Brianna out front, and her grandmother, Granny Smith, was sleeping. Pinkie had left early to set up the party. Jack's stomach started to growl, causing Applejack to laugh to his embarrassment.

"Ah'm done with one o' my pies. That'll be the family pie if you're that hungry. Here, Ah'll get ya a slice." She went to the kitchen and brought a slice of pie on a plate. All he needed now was a fork.

"You have a fork for me?" he asked.

"Whats a fork?"

I grinned at that. "Guess you're gonna have to eat head first. When in Rome, right?"

He shrugged his shoulders and bit into the slice. "Holy... Applejack, you made this?!"

"Eeyup! How is it?"

"Whoever marries you will be a happy husband." He said in a monotone voice. I was on the floor, laughing my ass off. That was until I saw Applejack's face turn red. "Wait.... Okay this is getting awkward. Time to change the subject."

"Who do you think's gonna be at the party, Applejack?!" I said aloud.

I knew I succeeded when Applejack stopped blushing and put a hoof to her chin. "Ponies shouldn't be able to do that either." I thought.

"Ah know Pinkie's gonna be there, so will Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity."

"Dammit!"

"Ah will be there, and so will Rainbow Dash. She stopped by earlier, lookin' fer ya."

I tensed. "She wants a round two, eh?" Applejack could see how I responded to what she said and continued.

"She just said she wanted to talk to ya. Rest easy, partner. Ah reckon she ain't gonna be start no trouble this time."

"Good." I didn't really believe her. Rainbow seems like the type that won't stop until she wins. I'd rather not deal with her anytime soon.

"Ah think maybe a few more ponies should be there. Ah just know all o my friends will be."

I heard laughing outside. Applejack and I looked out of the window and saw our little siblings playing tag together. "Kids." It was fun watching them play, I admit, but it was 30 minutes 'til 5, and I didn't want to be late for a party thrown for us. The six of us walked out back to my house, now dubbed "Humanity's House of Humans" by Jack. I guess Applebloom was going to come to our welcome party too. Brianna's first female friend was a pony from an alien planet.

When we got home, there were balloons, streamers, and everything all over the house and yard. I made sure to let everyone know that I wasn't going to clean any of this up after the party. We both entered the house. There were foods, snacks, and punch in the kitchen. Half of the snacks were leftovers from before we arrived in Equestria aka World of Multicolored Talking Magical Ponies. I bet this would be Equius's dream life. Traevon made sure to spray air deodorizer around the house. Jeff made sure to hide all of his weapons in his trunk, out of mind and sight of curious ponies. Good thinking. There was also a rule to stay out of the garage in general, not just because of that, but there were a lot of breakable and dangerous electronics and tools there too. Before my dad became super busy, he used to spend a lot of time in the garage either fixing things or putting stuff together, including but not limited to car parts, radio, bikes, bird houses, my toys, TVs, lawnmowers, etc.

Another rule was the number one rule that all dads give their kids: No touching the thermostat. We could not stress that enough. They didn't know what a thermostat did, Twilight figured it had to do with temperature, but they all listened (except for Pinkie who nearly let curiosity get the best of her).

When everyone was here, the party started, somewhat. Twilight was asking a ticked off Traevon about human life, technology, and history. Just incase you're wondering, he wasn't mad at Twilight. He was mad at me for dumping Twilight on him. Rarity was looking at mom's fashion magazines we decided to let her see. Ponies were then introduced to video games. Pinkie was playing the Wii Tennis with Johnny, Bri, and Applebloom in the game room (the ponies' Mii's looked hilarious). Jack and Applejack were talking about random things. I saw my box of Applejacks by his feet and cursed him under my breath. "I wanted to see her reaction!!!" Rainbow Dash was looking at me. She seemed deep in thought. Fluttershy was sitting in the corner watching Bri play. Roseluck came too, and she brought flowered salads for everypony. We had to tell her that human beings don't eat flowers. She seemed to've understood. She also seemed to get over her fear of us, which was good. I also noticed another winged pony, grey coat and blonde mane and tail came in. She seemed nice. She brought muffins. She went by Ditzy Doo, but ponies called her Derpy because of her eyes. She looked like the clumsy type that shouldn't be left alone, but despite her looks, she seemed to be quite the average pony.

I looked back at Rainbow Dash. The face she wore didn't say 'I'm going to get you back.' or 'I hate you', so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and sit next to her.

"I see you healed up quickly." I teased a bit.

She looked up at me, "Yeah, I figured I deserved that. I'm sorry for attacking you like that."

This made me double take. I didn't expect that! I gave out a sigh. "Well, a lot of humans back on my world would do the same if an unknown creature was walking around midst panic. I can't be mad at you for that, but uh, it's not a good idea to charge after a smaller version of the creature." I pointed to Brianna.

"Yeah. Fluttershy and I talked about it and I realized I escalated things more than Roseluck did. Are we cool?" She asked, holding out a hoof.

"I guess..." I fist-bumped her hoof before wrapping an arm around her head, putting her in a headlock. She just giggled.

The party was going pretty well, until they smelled what Jeff was cooking on the grill out back. The ponies never smelled anything like it, but judging from their looks, they didn't really like it. The kids got up and went outside and came back with cheese burgers, chips, and hotdogs.

"Hell yeah!" Jack yelled, jumping out of his seat and rushing outside to get some.

The ponies watched the kids eat their food on their plates. They didn't like the smell of it.

"What are they eating?"

"Burgers and hotdogs."

"Hayburgers do not smell like that, darling."

"It's a hamburger, not a hayburger. You know, beef. Cow meat. Humans can't eat hay."

All of the ponies looked at all of the humans in the room. If one was sitting by a human, they surely weren't anymore.

"YOU EAT MEAT?!?" Applebloom shrieked.

"Uh, yeah. We need the protein."

"You pansy ass ponies got a problem with that?!" Jeff stood up from his seat looking at them. "We eat meat! I eat meat! I'm gonna keep eating meat!" A few ponies looked like they were about to book it.

"Calm your ass down, Jeff!" I told him.

"T-those poor cows..." Fluttershy whimpered.

"You carnivorous ruffians!!"

Applejack was next. "How can yall talk like it's okay! Cows are living, talking, thinking beings!"

"Oh THAT'S a load of-"

"JEFF!!!" Traevon, Jack, and I yelled to stop Jeff from making things worse. Traevon had to remove him from the room while Jack and I tried to savage the situation. Jonathan and Brianna was on the verge of tears with all of the ponies calling them names and accusing them of wrongdoing. Jack decided to try to diffuse the situation first.

"Well, cows back on our world are bred to be eaten. They were pretty much destined to be."

I facepalmed. I didn't need to look up at the ponies to know Jack made things worse. It was my turn to give it a shot.

"What my friend here meant to say was that cows on our world are not smart and can't talk. There are horses and ponies on our world as well, but they, along with the cows, pigs, and other farm beings here are troglodytes. Animals."

I looked at the ponies, but they still seemed to be hooked on what Jack said. "I should have been first." Hiroto had heard everything from upstairs, he went into the kitchen and took out the food pyramid, and walked into the room full of conflict.

"Attention everyone. It is to my understanding that due to the ponies here being herbivores and having sentience, that alone would cause conflict between different species." Hiroto raised his hand that held up the food pyramid. "This here is what we call a food pyramid. Some people found this to be the way to a perfect diet. However, most people do not go by this pyramid at all. That is not why I am showing you this at all, however. I am showing this to you because we are indeed not carnivores, Rarity. We are omnivores. Although we may not eat dandelions, hay, or any other forms of plant life, we will eat fruits, vegetables, grains, and sweets along with meat." He looked at me. "As my older brother's friend just said, the reason why we eat meat is because it is known to be the best source of protein, preferably red meat. Without protein, we will get very sick, bruise easily, have unstable blood pressure, our joints will be like a machines' without oil, and it would cause us most discomfort." He looked at Jack. "Yes, while it may be true that a lot of cows and pigs are bred to be eaten, we are not slaughtering intelligent creatures, because cows and pigs in our world have no potential sentience. In fact, humans are thought to be the most and only sentient beings in the world capable of speech. While there are monkeys, canines, felines and even dolphins, that have potential sentience, that is why most of us prefer to not eat them. If cows and pigs are indeed intelligent here, we will not hunt them for food. However, we will need something to replace red meat, like fish for instance." He looked to Twilight. "Tell me. Are fish sentient here?" Twilight looked at Fluttershy.

"N-no.." Fluttershy responded.

"Then there is the solution to your dilema. Yes, we do eat meat from cows, chickens, pigs, etc, but on our world, they are just as smart as fish. With that explained, I hope all of your problems have been solved. I will be upstairs if anyone needs me." And with that said, he left.

The ponies seemed to have calmed down a little. Rainbow Dash even went back to sitting beside me. Just to be sure though...

"Are we cool?" I held out my fist.

"Yeah, as long as we aren't on your menu."

Just to mess with her, I put the tip of her ear in my mouth. This caused her to jump, screaming "What the hay?!?"

"Tastes like Skittles!"

"Really?" Jonathan asked.

"No, John, it's a joke."

Rainbow was confused. "What's Skit-tles?"

"Brand of candy. In fact, I have a few packets in the pantry if you wanna try one."

At this, Pinkie's ears perked up as I went to the kitchen. I brought back a small packet of Skittles and tossed it to Rainbow. It ended up being intercepted by Pinkie however as she jumped up in the air and caught it with her teeth, beginning to tear it open like a hungry dog, literally! I went back and got two more packets, this time handing one to Rainbow. She opened the bag and emptied the contents in her mouth.

"Not bad for a candy with a rainbow on the wrapper." She stated.

I grinned. "Did you know that Skittles's motto is 'Taste The Rainbow'"?

This made Rainbow blush. She laughed, "Hey. If you're cool enough, I might let you taste the Rainbow."

This caught me off guard, but I played along. "Hahaha! Woah there, hot stuff. Keep it PG. There are children here."

The rest of the party was pretty much fun. Fluttershy was glad that the tense moment passed and that Rainbow was having fun with a 'stallion'. Pinkie filled up on cupcakes, then tried to raid the fridge. She ended up opening the freezer and didn't like what she saw; raw meat. That should keep her out of our food storages for a while. Derpy had to leave early because she had an early day the next day. Roseluck had to leave as well because her sisters didn't like her out late. She told me that she had talked to her sisters and told them I wasn't a pony-eating monster. "Eh, it was good while it lasted." Twilight went upstairs to where Hiroto for obvious reasons. Rainbow said they were most likely going to be 'eggheading'. I had to agree. Twilight seems drawn to education, even if it comes from a 13 year old. Rarity offered to make everyone a set of clothes since she assumed we didn't have any. I had told her that the house belonged to my family and that Trae, Bri, and I had plenty of clothes here. Jack, Hiroto, Jonathan, and Jeff on the other hand, they only had enough clothes for 2 nights. Applejack and Jack were talking about each other's interests. "Those two seem to be spending an awful lot of time together. Maybe it's because they're both 'Jacks'." Rainbow Dash was boasting about being the fastest flier in Equestria, and telling me about her making the 'sonic rainboom'. It sounded interesting, although my skeptic side didn't buy it. I didn't tell her that though. We were all having a relatively good time and got to know each other a little.

Soon, Applejack had to take Applebloom home as it was nearing her bedtime. Jack decided to escort them both. Twilight left moments after she told us the story of the Elements of Harmony, along with the most recent defeat of Nightmare Moon. Rarity also left as well, taking some of mom's magazines with her. She promised to return them. Fluttershy was starting to get tired. Rainbow decided to escort her home and 'hit the hay' herself. She gave me a hug and a hoof-bump before heading off. Brianna, Jonathan and Hiroshi went upstairs to sleep. Jeff went outside to smoke while cleaning off the grill. It was then me, bro, and Pinkie, until Jack came back. Jack, however, decided to go straight to sleep as soon as he got back from Applejack's. It wasn't long before Bro fell asleep. Pinkie decided to stay the night. I had no problem with it if she didn't. Jeff came inside with the last burger patty he cooked in his mouth. That was the last thing I remembered before I dozed off. "We might have to do this again sometime."

Author's Note

I may end up changing the ratings to mature for the dirty jokes, I know. This chapter went on longer than I wanted it to. That's why I was a bit quick to wrap it up quickly halfway throughout the party. Sorry about that. I was just anxious to move on. :fluttershyouch:

Anyway, that's chapter 4, if you like it, press that thumbs up button, I'm always open for constructive criticism.

Next Chapter: Home Movement and Job Searching, and "Ticket Master."

Chapter 5: Home Movement, Jobs, and Tickets

-Xavier's POV-

I lie on the floor staring at the ceiling. I ended up waking up in the middle of the night. One thing I hated was waking up from a good dream to nothing but hours of staring at the darkness. What woke me up? I wasn't really sure yet until I saw a bubble gum cotton candy smelling pony lying on her back on me. I guess my stomach makes a good pillow. I stared back at the ceiling, recalling everything that has happened. One day, me and a few friends of ours were looking to have a get together sleepover. From what Jeff told me, he, Jack and I were gonna go backyard shooting after we woke up while Bro watched the kids. The next morning, we ended up in Talking Magic Pony Land. Bri got lost, Bro held he fort while I looked for her, fought Rainbow Dash the next day, found Bri and made 2 new friends that day. Three if you count Roseluck. Then, next day, invited everyone to a party, and had a fun and entertaining tour around Ponyville. Then we visited Applejack, met Big Mac, and then had a pretty sweet party. It was pretty nice. I even made a friend out of Rainbow Dash and Roseluck, but that would also mean no more watching panicking ponies.

That was pretty fun being Godzilla for a while to a bunch of waist-sized ponies, but it's going to have to stop soon. Although we have power, we don't have water and soon we are going to need food, and since we're not stranded on a deserted world, we didn't feel like living the savage life of survival. We were going to need their help, and they wouldn't be willing to help us if I kept scaring them. As much as I like trolling, unlike Jack here, I can put my trolling aside for the greater good. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask Twilight if we could talk to the town leader. Maybe we could finally get some plumbing so we could shower without having to make a trip through the Everfree Forest. I guess the four of us are gonna have to see how we can be useful to Ponyville.

I started thinking about my skills. "I could be a voice impersonator. I am one known for many voices. From Emperor Palpatine, to Arnold Schwarzenegger, to Alan Rickman." I couldn't help but to smile. "I'll have to use that as trolling material later. As for real skills, what can I do?" I sat up for a moment to think. I know bro is good with music. Jeff's a cook, but I don't think the ponies would like what he fixes. Remembering his words from last night:

"You pansy ass ponies got a problem with that?! We eat meat! I eat meat! I'm gonna keep eating meat!"

I thought to myself, "Yeah, I think I'm going to go on ahead and stop that train of thought. He might end up being a bouncer or something." I don't know about Jack. His only skill seems to be around dancing or anything that attracts the girls. Speaking of which, he and Applejack seemed to be getting close, especially after he said something stupid like making a husband happy. That might as well have been a proposal right then and there. How would that work anyway between a human and a pony? They've never even heard of us until a few days ago. And wouldn't that be like being in love with a farm animal? Sure the ponies' faces are more human-like to the point where I would call them 'kissable' but.... "BAD! BAD TRAIN OF THOUGHT!"

What if Jack and Applejack got married? How would they even do it? What would the kids look like? Can they even have kids? It'd be awkward doing it with a-

"BRAIN! CUT! IT! OUT!"

Note to self: Whenever I start having rational thoughts about having relationships with a pony, I needed to go back to sleep. I shut my eyes and drifted off to dreamworld.

Tuesday 8/18th

I woke up to the sun shining on my face the next morning. Extremely annoyed, I almost forgot about the pink sleeping mare that was using my stomach as a pillow. Only there wasn't a mare in sight. Instead was a box of cupcakes with a note on it.

"Thanks for letting me stay last night and I'm super duper sorry for waking you up. Here are some yummy cupcakes for you and my new friends to enjoy!" ~Pinkie Pie

"Hm. That's nice of her. Maybe I could have cupcakes for breakfast. Cupcakes are made out of eggs, wheat, and milk. The only thing that's added are sugar and a bit of butter, right? I dunno. I can't cook." So I grabbed a few cupcakes, put on a new set of clothes, and walked out. I looked at my phone, and it was about 9:24am, Tuesday. Earlier than I usually get up. I saw Twilight heading to Sweet Apple Acres with Spike. That's when I was reminded that I was going to need her to come with me to see the town leader.

"Hey Twilight!"

She turned her head towards me. "Oh. Hey Xavier."

"Hey. Where are ya headed this early in the morning?"

"Oh. Spike and I were going to help out Applejack on the farm."

"Mind if I ask you for your assistance before you become too busy?"

"I'll always try to help a friend in need." She answered proudly.

"Right. I need help talking to the town's leader. As you probably know, we have no source of water besides traveling through the forest and getting water from there, and us being civilized beings, we'd rather not devolve our lifestyles to savage." Twilight seemed to understand where I was going with this.

"You want to talk to Mayor Mare in order to be a Ponyville resident?" She correctly answered.

"Bingo." I said, thinking "Mayor Mare? .....dafuq?"

"I guess Applejack wouldn't mind waiting a bit longer." She pondered. "Alright. Let's go talk to the Mayor."

She led the way with Spike on her back. When we arrived to Ponyville, I waited for the panic. Instead, I was just getting stared at by most of them. Only a few yelled for Twilight to run or just turn tail and ran. The other were now more curious than anything else. I'm guessing it's because I was being led by one of the Elements of Harmony. Oh. I also came across a brown earth pony, as the ones without wings or a horn are called, with his pink daughter. The two of them along with a few others looked at me in disgust. I knew what they were thinking. "Even in a world full of talking colorful ponies, the racism is here. I hope there won't be any police brutality here." Twilight noticed this and looked at me apologetically.

"Some ponies here moved from Canterlot. They do so because it's cheaper to live here than there where the nobles live."

Ah, yes. The snooty nose-stuck-in-the-air big wigs. I've always wanted to run into these types of people. The brown stallion is now my primary target for my biggest troll stunt yet. I grinned mischievously. It scared Twilight a little bit.

"You aren't planning on doing anything, are you?" she asked, suspiciously.

"Don't know what I'm gonna do yet, but it'll be harmless. Not sure if you noticed from following me around, but I do like messing with people."

"Right." She said, not amused with my answer.

"Guys! Wait for me!"

I turned to Spike. "Hey, lil dude, did you say something?"

Spike shook his head.

"Guys! Behind you!"

"Xavier, is somepony calling us?" Twilight asked.

I turned around and was greeted with a tired Jack that apparently wanted in on what we were doing.

"Hey guys! -pant- What's up? -pant-"

"Oh hi there Jack." Twilight greeted.

"Sup Jack?" I asked, proceeding to do our little handshake, thus confusing Twilight and Spike.

"Oh nothing much. Felt like you were about to do something fun, so I decided to join ya."

I could hear Spike ask how many of us are there.

"Well, if you're interested in getting a job and possibly a new home here along with talking to the mayor, then you won't be disappointed. Come along then." This made Jack give out a groan as he probably realized that he got mixed up in a bunch of boring stuff.

We eventually made it to the Town Hall and went in. There was a line in front of Twilight, but as soon as the ponies saw who was with her, they dropped their issues and either ran out of the door or just stepped aside. "How nice of them." The receptionist had to gather herself before pointing to the door to the mayor's office. Once in, we met a mare with a bleached tan coat and a silver mane.

"Well hello there Twil-OLY CELESTIA THERE'S TWO OF THEM NOW!!!"

"Hm... so she only saw me."

Now. I know this was a bad idea, and so far, the timing couldn't be worse. I started feeling something erupt within me at that moment. It was clawing its way into my mind as if it had to do this.

...My inner troll...

I looked over to Jack. His inner troll was affecting him too. We both were seen giving each other the Tobey Maguire look. This made Twilight really uncomfortable. She knew we were up to no good.

"Yeeeessss there are moooore of ussssss." I said using my Cobra Commander voice. "And we require your assssssisssstance!!!"

Jack and I stepped closer to the mayor in a wavy motion which was pretty much freaking out the mayor. Spike was laughing pretty hard.

"Xavier! Jack! Stop this!"

We both complied.

"Yeah, I guess we should stop playing with the mayor like that. We just saw an opportunity to troll and couldn't help ourselves."

Jack was on the floor trying to talk and laugh at the same time, trying to say "The look on her face was priceless." The look on the mayor's face was one mixed of embarrassment, disbelief, and a bit of rage. Twilight trotted up to her.

"I'm so so sorry about their behavior, Mayor. I don't know what got into them."

"Well! What ever got into them, be sure you get it out of them before you bring them into a professional environment."

Big mistake from Mayor Mare. Jack started laughing and screamed "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

I don't think either of them got the joke, but I don't think they liked being at the wrong end of a joke they didn't get. The mayor was probably seconds away from asking us to leave until I spoke up.

"My apologies, Miss Mayor. This morning has been quite uneventful. When we came in here and saw you, you looked like you could use the excitement. Something that would make your day interesting, you could say." I said, using my "Fresh Prince Butler Geoffery" voice and accent.

Jack was covering his mouth trying not to laugh at Mayor's facial expression which said "Who knew such a frightening creature could be so humble?" which I admit was worth a few chuckles, but I kept in mind that I needed her help. I gave Jack a look, which although it didn't get that dumb look off his face, it kept him quiet.

"Well while I agree you have an interesting way of making a first impression, it did liven up my day a little. I'll help you settle in to Ponyville. Are you staying with anypony?"

"No ma'am." I replied. "I'm just staying with me, my siblings, and our friends. This guy included." I pointed my thumb at Jack.

"So. How can I help you?" She asked.

"Well, first of all, although we have our own source of power, we have no source of water..." I started.

As the conversation went on, we had established a good place for our house. Twilight had since then, left. We also talked about possible ways of earning income. I suppose Jack and I would be good for general work and just helping guys with anything. It's not like they had a lot of things that ran on electricity. Since Jeff was a big masculine guy who has manliness radiating from every fiber of his being, he was offered a job in construction working. I don't know what bro will do. Probably help around like me and Jack. I know it may be weird that we're discussing jobs for people that aren't here, well, I plan on telling them when I got back home. If they're unsatisfied, then they can talk to the mayor themselves to get it changed.

With that out of the way, we thanked Mayor Mare and left. Jack and I were headed home until from down the road we heard ponies bickering. Curious, we drew closer and saw our new friends surrounding Twilight while arguing with one another. Twilight looked like she had enough.

"QUIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEET!!!!"

"And then I said 'Oatmeal are you crazy?!'" I heard Pinkie say. Everyone looked at her. "Oh..."

I had no clue what was going on, however I was beginning to feel bad for Twilight. I never did like unintentionally being the center of negative attention.

"Girls! There's no use in arguing!" Twilight said, frustrated.

"But Twilight..." Rarity started.

"Listen to the purple unicorn, princess!" I shouted, already getting annoyed with Rarity's whining. I don't know why. Rarity. I just don't like her that much. It's just... her type. There are things I respect about her such as her cutting her own tail off for Mr. Magnet, but I just find her so fucking annoying sometimes! Is it her voice? Her attitude? No, it can't be. Must be the voice. Hopefully I can get over that.

Rarity backed off, giving me a shocked look.

"Thank you Xavier. As I was saying, this is my decision, and I can make it on my own. And I certainly can't think straight with all this noise!" Her stomach growled. "Not to mention this hunger... Now go on! Shoo!" She shooed away all the ponies. I could've sworn from the corner of my eye, I saw Dash giving me a pleading look. I decided to ignore it for now. "And don't worry! I'll figure this out! ...somehow"

"So uh, want us to take you home so you can get something to eat?" Jack offered.

Twilight looked at us suspiciously. "No, no thank you. You aren't getting the tickets either."

"What tickets?" I asked.

"The tickets to the..." She stopped herself.

"What tickets are she talking about? Eh, I won't press her on it."

"It's nothing." She said. "Just leave me alone for now, okay?" She trotted off.

Jack and I looked at each other. "What was that all about?" We both asked in unison.

We continued on our way home, but we had to make a stop. Apparently, Jack had too much to drink before he left, so we had to use someone's restroom. It started getting cloudy as I was waiting for my friend. Then it started pouring. "Okay, it was just sunny a while ago... what in the-" My thoughts were interrupted when I saw one ray of light coming from an opening in the clouds. I walked towards it and found Twilight and Spike sitting at an outside table being the only ones dry with that ray of light shining on them. I looked up and saw Rainbow Dash.

"Hi there best friend forever I ever ever had!" Rainbow said rapidly. "Enjoying the sunny weather?"

"Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?" She asked just as suspiciously when she was talking to Jack and I a little while ago. As that memory came back, I remembered.

I left Jack.

-Jack's POV-

I exited the building I was in and saw Xavier had abandoned me like an unwanted child. "That DICK!!!"

-Xavier's POV-

At this point, I was soaked and a bit pissed at a certain rainbow-maned pegasus mare responsible for it. Apparently, Twilight has something her friends want. Some tickets to somewhere. Either way, I was going to get to the bottom of it. I stepped forward, Rainbow Dash had closed up the cloud causing it to rain on Twilight and ruin her lunch. I tried to get her attention, but before I could, fucking Rarity shows up with a parasol and kidnaps her.

"Come with me before you catch a cold!" Rarity said before taking Twi away.

"FUCK!!!" I was so close!

"Ah...AH........ACHOO!!"

"DOUBLEFUCK!!!" I thought, thinking things couldn't get any worse.

"Hey Asshole!! You left me hangin, man!" Jack was smart enough to bring his jacket.

Jack didn't stay mad at me. He saw I caught a cold from being exposed to wetness and called it karma. I gave him the finger. I wasn't exactly in the sun-shiny mood at the moment. "Next time I see you Rainbow Dash, there's gonna be a round 2!" The sky finally cleared up and we went back home. I grabbed a couple of tissue boxes from the utility room and decided to go to my room upstairs, change out of my wet clothes and rest.

I woke up that night to a bright flash. "Goddammit... keep it down down there!" I didn't say. I got up and went downstairs, thinking it were the kids playing on the Wii U, only for me to come across a purple unicorn and a singed dragon.

"Uh.. warn me next time you're gonna do that!" Spike said, dizzy.

"I didn't even know that was going to happen!" retorted Twilight.

"Oh... It's you guys..."

Twilight looked at me, a bit startled. "Oh. It's you. Hey Xavier.. Ugh! You will not believe the day I've had. My friends have all gone nuts over these tickets and they won't stop doing me favors, then Pinkie blabbed about the tickets, and now the entire town is after me!" It was then that Twilight walked closer with a concerned look. "What about you? You look worse for wear than I do. Are you okay?" She magic'd a mirror in front of me.

She was right. I did look worse. My nose was stuffed and running, and my eyes looked puffy. "I caught a cold frub Dash's raid.." I said as I moved the mirror out of my face. "I tried to fid out what was goig od with you add your frids, but thed Raridy cabe by add snatched you away, leavig be soaked id the raid"

"You were raided?!?" Spike asked

"He's sick, Spike. He meant 'rain'." corrected Twilight. She had told me pretty much everything that happened that day. Holy shit! The entire town were being a bunch of wack-jobs over tickets! Her friends though, aught to be ashamed of themselves. For fucks sakes, I was hardly even involved in this fiasco and even I feel Twilight's pain. I went to the bathroom, sanitized my hands, came back and pat Twilight's head gently.

"I ab so sorry about your day. It bust've beed tough for you. All because of those stupid tickets"

"Yeah, but you're the one who's sick and... wait.. you don't want the tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"The Grand Galloping... Is it something I should even care about?"

"It's just a party full of girly prissy snooty fancy ponies." Spike said.

"Spike!" She turned to me. "It's a party where nobles and other ponies meet together alike with the princesses. My friends see it as an opportunity to meet famous ponies and make a lot of bits or something. I love all of my friends but I only have two tickets and I don't know who to give them to!"

"I have a solutiod to that problub. Dodt leave your fredds behide. I'd burd the tickets so doe od will go. Therefore you wodt have to pick betweed your fredds. Good idea right?"

She shook her head, "I'll just send them back. I won't just burn the tickets Princess Celestia gave me. Spike, take down a note."

Soon, her friends made their way to my house, looking for Twilight. I didn't let them in at first as I stood in the doorway, arms crossed, like a stone wall. I let them in after I heard their intentions to apologize for their behavior. I let them in to do just that. However, to everyone's surprise, Spike flame-burped out 6 tickets. They all group-hugged Twilight, who still hadn't eaten. Spike seemed a bit down that he didn't get one until he burped up 5 more. It turns out Twilight told her that she had made four more friends that could go to the gala with her other friends. "Thoughtful. Thanks Twi."

And with that, everyone started to leave.

Not on my watch!

"HOLD OD ODE COTTOD PICKID BIDUTE!!" I yelled. "Dobody is leavig yet!" They all turned to me. "Dow all of you have beed botherig Twilight all dabd day about those dabd tickets!"

Applejack tried to speak up, "Uh, Xavier, ya sound a bit strange. Is everything alright?"

"Do! Everythig is dot okay, Applejack! While all of you were so busy givig Twilight bullshit, ode of you gave be a cold while doig so!" Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash who in turn, tried to book it. She was caught by Twilight's magic and tackled by a giggling Pinkie.

"Raidbow Dash, you are dot goig adywhere! You are respodsible for by coditiod add you will stay here add fix it! You hear be?!"

Rainbow groaned, "Fine..." And with that, everyone else left but Rainbow. "You're lucky I think you're cool enough."

"Whatever Raidbow." I scratched behind her ears a little.

"Don't 'whatever Raidbow' me! I'm trapped here until you get better! And you're going to stay in bed so you can get better faster! ...so uh, so I can leave!" I stopped scratching and headed upstairs. Rainbow later on fixed me some vegetable soup. She told me Fluttershy taught her how to make it. It hit the spot, but she told me I needed rest, so I closed my eyes and did as she told.

About a few hours later, I woke up to the door opening, but I didn't really move. I heard wings flapping. I knew who it was. Since the lights were off, I figured she didn't want to wake me. "What's that crazy mare up to?" She landed on the foot of my bed and lightly trotted up to my head.

"I'm sorry for getting you sick. I'll take good care of you until you get better, okay? It's the least I can do." She sounded serious.

"Woah... this is a bit out of character, don't you think?" I thought. I kept up the fake sleep. I started to feel her come closer until I felt her lips on my jaw. "Holy shit I was just kissed by a pony!!!"

"I want you better soon, big guy." She must've felt really bad about making me sick. One thing I know is that guilt can be a pretty ugly thing to have hanging over your shoulders. She's been trying to help me feel better all night. I think she deserves more than my forgiveness.

"Thanks, Dash."

She froze on the spot. I looked up at her with a smile. Instead, she looked down at me with what was at first a blushing face of shock, but slowly turned into a blushing grumpy face of embarrassment.

"You!!!"

Before she could do or say anything, I grabbed her head and pulled her down towards me, my arm wrapped around her head pulling her into another headlock.

"Heheh.... I caddot stay bad at you, Dash. I just caddot. You're so cute its dot fair."

And that's how Dash and I got a bit closer.

Author's Note

And that is it for the 5th chapter.

By now you should know that this is going to follow the MLP:FiM storyline as well. However, with the humans being there, things will be different. I also know some of you are going to be wondering why Xavier is hogging all of the spotlight. Well, I guess you can say he is going to be the main character of the humans. I've already developed all of the humans' characters and found Xavier to be the one I like the most since he's the most evened out. Don't worry though. There will be chapters that will be mostly from other humans'/ponies' POVs, like the next chapter.

I just cant wait to write the gala chapter.

Anyway, please hit the thumbs up button if you liked it, and leave a comment on what you thought about the chapter. I'll start working on the next chapter right away.

Chapter 6: How do you like these apples?

Saturday 9/19th

-Jack's POV-

Wow. Our lives here has gotten better ever since we became a resident of Ponyville. Ponies started warming up to us after a few days, especially when they found out how 'handy' us humans were when it came to jobs. Hah! Get it? As it turns out, our unique hands and fingers are more efficient with performing tasks than with hooves. Our height makes us even more useful. We can reach places they couldn't, and climb trees to get kites unstuck. Cliche', I know, but that did actually happen. That's not all that's happened. Twilight used her new teleportation spell to teleport the entire house to our designated location. Of course we had to take apart the solar powered generator first so it didn't get damaged, and Twilight spent the rest of the day resting up afterwards. That wasn't too big of a problem for her because she had a couple of helping hands. I also learned from Twilight that Equis time and Earth time are pretty much the same. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 12 months in a year. The only difference is the fact that they don't have names for the months like we do, so they use numbers. So my birthday is 4/20. And no, I don't smoke weed. I've heard that joke enough in my lifetime. That's one thing I'm not gonna miss.

After Xavier got better from his sickness last week. What confuses me is why Rainbow Dash still keeps coming over even after he got better. I asked Xavier about it last weekend and all he replied with was "I guess she thinks I'm cool enough for her to hang with me, not that it makes much sense. Not gonna question a good thing though." I just left it at that. I guess Rainbow is Xavier's best friend on the female side, since that spot on the male side is already taken by me.

I guess on my female side would be Applejack. We just spent time talking about ourselves while or after she was finished working. I did tell her that I wasn't all that much about the country life, that I was more of a suburban person. She took it the wrong way at first as she thought I was calling her a dirty low classed or something, but I explained that wasn't the case. I respected the farmers that did the dirty work for us city folk. This calmed her down a lot. Boy, is Applejack scary when you question her proud line of work. Speaking of Applejack, though, she is one bad-ass mare. She single-handedly stopped a bunch of runaway cows from turning Ponyville into rubble. I hand't seen that many cows running since I saw the opening of that Jackass movie. Applejack kept it from being that way. I don't know what happened though. I hadn't seen her since then.

My little bros were another story though. Jonathan spent a lot of time with Applebloom at the Apple Farm, while Hiroto... If he wasn't at the house, he was at the library with Twilight. If he wasn't at the library with Twilight, he was at the house. He didn't interact to the ponies much since our "Welcome to Equis" party. What, is this new world makin him anti-social or somethin? I dunno, maybe it's the entire magic thing that still has his nuts and bolts in his head rustled, and the lack of technology to work with. I mean, I kinda understand him a bit. He was all about the tech. The kid's a genius for a 13 year old and well, that sounds like a poor age to have things turn around on you. I feel bad for the kid. He aint got no friends in this world besides Brianna, and she's been spending a lot of time at Fluttershy's. I really hope he can find some way to adjust to this world or atleast someone to help, human or pony. I have Applejack and Xavier, Xavier has me, Rainbow Dash, and maybe Pinkie and Twilight. I just hope it's not because he's the only Asian here because then he'd be out of luck here.

I woke up Wednesday morning at around 8:30 to the smell of pancakes. Hiroto was cooking again. I went around the house to see what everyone else was up to. Traevon and Xavier were still asleep, my other little bro was watching a movie with Brianna. After we ate breakfast, I left the house at around 9:23 am. Pinkie asked for mine and Xavier's help yesterday with setting up a party for Applejack today. It didn't seem like much to do, so I let the man sleep and went alone.

It didn't take but thirty minutes before everything was set with Rarity setting up the last touch, a yellow banner with apples on it. Now we played the waiting game. Almost all of Ponyville, including most of my group, Jeff and Traevon were elsewhere, gathered at the Town Square. Twilight took the podium, shuffling papers. After that, she spoke.

"Welcome everypony!" She greeted cheerfully. "Today we are here to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great or small."

I looked to Xavier. Twilight must be rapidly killing his attention span. Before she could continue however, his female best friend interrupted Twilight.

"Did you see Applejack's slick moves out there? What an athlete! This week, she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome!!!! :rainbowkiss:

Xavier's attention span was now restored. After Rainbow was shoved away by Twilight, Pinkie took over. She started talking about how she got hired full time at Sugar Cube Corner, and Applejack was supposed to help her and that everyone would get a free sample. Twilight's little speech was hijacked two more times before she just gave up. Mayor Mare took the stage now. A trophy as brought forth by me as she was presenting it to Applejack.

...Who wasn't there.

There was a moment of silence as we looked around for the mare of the hour. Eventually we saw a pile of apples shuffling through a crowd. It was Applejack, and she did not look at her pique today, sloppily dropping apples from her saddlebags in the middle of the crowd. As she got up to the stage, it became clear that she was running herself ragged. She was behaving like she was high on sleep deprivation. "I want what she's having."

Twilight interrupted their session. "Okay... Well thank you Applejack for saving us from that scary stampede and always being there for everypony."

Applejack yawned. "Yeah, I like helpin the pony folks... and stuff..."

"Did she just fall asleep on stage?" She snapped out of it and dragged her trophy off the stage and back through the crowd. Yeah, this was starting to become too painful to watch.

"Was it just me, or did Applejack seem a little..." Twilight started to ask

"Tired?" continued Rainbow

"Dizzy?" continued Fluttershy

"High?" I added.

"Messy?" Rarity added. I looked at Xavier after she said this. He was biting his lips. Everyone looked at her. "Well! Did you see her mane?" I heard her say defensively.

I could've sworn I could hear Xavier's thoughts just by the way he looked, internally screaming "OH MY FUCKING GOD, RARITY!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" He really doesn't like Rarity.

The only person that thought Applejack was fine was Pinkie, who always seemed like she was on everything but Ritalin.

"I'm starting to worry about Applejack." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah, me too." Brianna approached us with Hiroto in tow.

Hiroto adjusted his glasses. "She needs a break. The look in her eyes states that she is deprived of sleep. Her sleep deprivation will mean that she will be less productive in her tasks. She needs help."

"I agree. We should see if she needs anything." Said Twilight. With that, Twilight, Xavier and I set forth to Sweet Apple Acres. When we got there, Applejack was 'bucking' trees. Or that's what she was trying to do. She was missing the trees completely, and accidentally knocked over a bucket filled with apples before falling asleep.

It started happening again as a grin founded itself on my face.

My inner troll was coming out...

I'm probably gonna be labeled 'Jackass of the Week' for this. I crept up to her, leaned close to her ear and yelled.

"APPLEJACK YOUR ORCHARD IS ON FIRE!!!"

She woke up and ran around in circles like she was infested with ticks. "CALL THE FIREPONIES! GET THE PEGASI! SAVE MAH FAMILY'S ORCHARD!!!"

I almost fell on the ground, laughing out loud. Holy shit my stomach was hurting! I was laughing so hard that I didn't even care that Xavier was walking up to me from behind. I hadn't received a slap to the back of the head so hard since I broke his CD player years ago.

"Not funny, jackass!" He growled. Twilight seemed to agree with him while giving me a look of disapproval.

"Tough crowd." I thought.

Twilight walked up to the panicked Applejack.

"Your orchard isn't on fire, Applejack." Twilight said.

"Oh.. Howdy Twilight."

"What is all this?"

"It's Applebuckin season."

"Applewhat season?"

She explained that it was her family's time for harvesting every apple in the orchard. I could see the problem here. She was all by herself, and she had to work with a huge-ass orchard that looked like it could end world hunger. One sleep deprived mare can't do it alone. Twilight argued that she couldn't, but she's stubborn, responding in her "No way, no how" fashion and took it as a challenge instead. "Dammit girl just drop your pride for one moment and get help!"

I stepped in to try to talk some sense into her, but Xavier stopped me. "Girls like her are stubborn as a mule. They won't learn their lesson from others. Shes' gonna have to learn by herself." I honestly hate it when he's right. I know Applejack to some level, and I know she can get pretty damn stubborn when it comes to work.

A lot of weird things happened later on that day. I was taking my bros out to eat when I saw Rainbow Dash being flung into the air like she was knocked out the top of the screen in Smash.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" Jonathan mocked. Heh. That's my bro, alright.

Then there was an epidemic. A lot of ponies were in medical tents, their heads green. If I didn't know any better, there was gonna be a zombie apocalypse, and Crazy Dave was nowhere in sight. Apparently, this was caused by Applejack when she 'helped' Pinkie bake. Pinkie dubbed AJ's baked goods, 'baked bads.' I tell you, Sugarcube Corner could've been sued horribly if anyone thought of it.

And then, there was a bunny stampede. Applejack was the cause of this too. Everyone's plants were being eaten, and Jonathan scraped his knee while running from them. Guess who had to deal with his crying. Me.

I heard after each event, Twilight gave an effort to try to offer Applejack help from her and her friends, but each time she stubbornly refused. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't get pissed easily, especially with my best friends. This was about to be the very first. The line has been crossed, twice. I'm going to have a word with Applejack, and she will listen even if I have to hold her down and scream in her ears again.

-Twilight's POV-

Enough was enough! "I can understand that Applejack has her pride and tradition to follow but her stubbornness is starting to effect everypony!" I was on my way to Applejack's and I was going to help her whether she liked it or not. I was not going to take no for an answer this time. I should've done this sooner. This had to stop. I was on my was walking through the orchard when I heard yelling.

"You launched Rainbow Dash all the way around the fucking planet!!!"

"Nope."

Sounds like one of the humans, Jack. He sounds angry.

"You made everyone sick in Ponyville! YOU CAUSED AN EPIDEMIC!!!! Someone could sue Sugarcube Corner for everything they have because of you!!!"

"Ah ain't gettin' no help from nopony."

His head was turning redder than the apples he was surrounded by.

"YOU CAUSED A FUCKING BUNNY STAMPEDE, NEARLY RUINED BUSINESSES OF PONIES THAT GREW FLOWERS, AND CAUSED MY BROTHER TO HAVE A SCRAPED KNEE!!! AGAIN!!!"

"Ah can harvest all these apples all by myself. I don't need you or nopony else with this."

Uh oh. I had to do something then and there because it looked like he was about to hurt Applejack. I used my magic to teleport beween the two.

"Jack, calm down! Applejack, you need to stop being stubborn and just listen for once! YOU! NEED! HELP!"

Applejack responded to this by bucking the tree behind her. All of the apples fell in her saddle baskets.

"Hah! No Ah don't! Ah did it! Ah harvested the entire Sweet Apple Acres without anypony's help! How'd ya like them apples?"

I jumped on my hind hooves and placed my forehooves on Jack's chest to hold him back before he could get to Applejack.

"Just... one hit! One hit!!! I'm gonna-"

"Um, how'd you, like them apples?" Big Mac said coming out of nowhere. He gestured towards the other half of the orchard that she had missed. Applejack seemed at a loss of words. She ended up fainting.

-Jack's POV-

After everything stopped being red, I guessed that I had lost it. Thank God Twilight was there. Might've been nothing left but a pile of mush and a bloodied stetson if she wasn't. Yes, I'm exaggerating, don't worry. I was still pretty pissed though, but I stopped trying to hurt her. Applejack was on her back like a dead spider. Twilight explained that she understood her way of doing things, however, she needed to put aside her pride for once and asked others for help. She unexpectedly agreed. In fact, she actually started to beg. "Good. Things won't go red again." I thought.

After a while, she got her friends to help. Xavier, Trae and Jeff even joined us. Rainbow helped with bucking while Pinkie and Rarity and Fluttershy carried the apples back to the barn. On the human side, Xavier and I were climbing trees and shaking the apples from the trees while Jeff and Trae put the apples in the basket and carried them back. A while later, the other three were gone, leaving me alone in the orchard. We were finally done. Applejack trotted up to me and sat to my right while offering a bottle of apple juice.

"Ah wanted to say sorry fer all of the trouble ah caused and fer gettin your brother hurt again."

"Don't let it happen again and I'll forgive ya."

"Twi also told me that you lost yer marbles and charged at me."

Oh boy...

"T's alright. Ah woulda deserved it. Ah'm gonna be honest with ya here. Twi and the others were too soft on me. Sometimes a pony needs ta have her flank kicked in the right direction when things go outa control like today."

"True." I agreed.

"I need somepony like that in my life. Think yer up for that challenge?" She asked, blushing a bit.

'Is she asking me what I think she's asking?'

"Are you asking me what I think you're asking?" I asked

"Eeyup." She smiled.

"Sure thing. I'll be glad to help ya out, there."

She chuckled and pecked my cheek before trotting back.

'My first girlfriend is a pony mare.'

Author's Note

That's the end of Chapter 6.

People are probably going to leave a comment about Applejack and Jack's relationship being too early. Yes, they've known each other for a week, but I honestly think that Applejack is one of those few people who can actually pull it off. One thing I've learned with relationships is that both sides should be honest with each other, and since Applejack is the Element of Honesty, she's already a part ways there to a successful relationship. In this fiction, yes Applejack will have slight powers of lie detecting, much like this guy's. but minus the perceive ability. To be frank, I believe Loyalty is just as important in relationships, don't make any mistakes, but Xavier and Dash were in rocky situations with each other twice for one, and secondly, unlike Jack, Xavier is still figuring out how a relationship would work between a human and a pony. Jack just doesn't care. A female is a female to him. If anyone has watched the new harem anime "Monster Musume", he'd be just fine in Kurusu's place. No complaints, what-so-ever. Back to the topic of loyalty, last but not least, I can't see Applejack not being loyal in a relationship, and her being the Element of Honesty plays a big part in that as well. I seriously doubt that she has it in her to cheat because she's too honest. If something's not right, she'll let someone/somepony know. If it's not fixed, she'll break it off before moving on, am I right? Enough said about that.

Although there will be a lot of lines from the actual show, fret not, there will be more things happening around it that'll make it a lot more than just copied and pasted scripts, such as interruptions from the humans, or reactions from them as well. There may be moments where the fiction will actually replace a character or two with a human, but it probably won't be much of that. I'm trying to make it so that the lesson learned in the episode is the same even with humans screwing around. That itself might prove to be a challenge later on.

Anyway, leave a thumbs up and a comment if you liked it. Thanks for reading, I hope I explained things clearly, and stay tuned for I will start writing the next chapter soon. :pinkiehappy:

Chapter 7: Bully Beatdown: Ponyville Edition

Chapter 7: Bully Beatdown - Ponyville Edition

Monday 9/28th

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

It's been about a little more than a week since the Applebucking incident. Me and the others along with her pony friends helped Applejack with collecting apples until Big Mac healed up properly. I also noticed that Applejack and my best friend were getting really really close to each other. I mean Applejack walking beside him really close-like. I just figured they were just getting to know each other better and talking about deep stuff. I'm not the type to jump to conclusions or anything.

Rainbow Dash kept visiting the house every day after she was done with her weather control shift. We just relaxed an hung out. That is, unless I had jobs to do. Sometimes I had to cut my time with Dashie short to repair or help carry things. I made good use of my dad's power tools. A few ponies wanted to go inside the garage. That's one of the rules I set against the ponies and the children, Stay out of the garage! Really, we had nothing but power tools and Jeff's truck full of guns, the later being the real reason why we set the rules for them. Remember when I joked about Jeff getting ready to start a war with all of those guns? What do you think would happen if our pony neighbors got that idea? Anyway, Rainbow is getting along with Brianna and Jonathan just fine. They taught her how to play the Wii U. She had a little bit of issue pushing the buttons with her hooves, so she had to stick with games such as Wii Sports Club. Whenever we did hang out, it was pretty fun. Brianna asked me if I should introduce her to my 360 and its games. I thought about it, but I don't know how ponies would react to Prototype and the Halo franchise. Jeff said that "The pansy ass prissy little ponies would probably have nightmares for years and we'd have to clean the floors of pony piss and shit because they can't handle the awesome brutality!" Really Jeff?

-Recap Finished-

I was helping Spike out with carrying some blank scrolls from Town Hall for Twilight. She had sent us both there. Spike to carry scrolls, and me to ask Mayor Mare about sending the little kids to school. Hiroto may not need to go, but I think he could learn how things work in this world. So Spike and I were walking to Town Hall when we came across Pinkie Pie, who was humming.

"Hey Pinks!"

"Oh! Hi Xavier! Have you seen Rainbow Dash?!"

"Nope. Why?"

"I have a pretty fun idea for us to do! I think she'll love it!

"Well, if you find her, tell her I said hey."

"Okie dokie!"

And with that, she trotted off. Spike and I looked at each other, shrugged, and continued on. We got there at around noon. We had to wait in a line to see the mayor. Bad news, the ponies weren't really all that intimidated by me this time, so they didn't run off or step aside and I had to actually wait. Good news is that the line wasn't really that long and the ponies in front of us just wanted simple things like home expansions or minor complaints. It took about 15 minutes before we were up.

Spike went ahead first. It didn't take long before he was holding a stack of rolled up scrolls. They were already set for him to pick up and walk out with. I went in afterwards. I had to promise her that there wouldn't be any funny business this time, so I did. I had asked her about the local school taking my little sibling and her friends to school with the ponies. It wasn't an issue, besides the fact that no pony knows much about humans, therefore things that are taught may not apply to them. However, school haven't even started yet so that would be an issue for another time.

I followed Spike out of the Town Hall. I offered to carry some of the scrolls for him, but he said he could handle it. I shrugged and let it be. That was when I heard thunder from a could way closer to the ground than it should be, which scared the shit out of Spike and caused me to automatically take cover. As it turns out, it was Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash that were behind it. Spike had hiccups now. Unfortunately, Twilight won't be getting her scrolls because Spike burns things when he hiccups. I know when Spike burns things, they're sent to the princess. Maybe she'll send them back?

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Oh Rainbow Dash! We startled Spike into getting the hiccups!"

Spike laughed. "Good one Pi-hic-nky Pie! -hic- You always pull a fast -hic- one on me."

"What a good sport." I thought.

I walked out of my cover. Dashie was laughing at me too.

"Hah! We got you too Xavier!"

"Yeah yeah." I turned to Pinkie. "So is this what you needed her for?"

"Yes-sirree!!" She grinned. I was going to have to get both of them back for this.

"Have you ever seen anything more hilarious?!"

"I can think of one thing." Dash said before kicking the thunder cloud, shocking Pinkie into getting the hiccups too. Pinkie was now laughing between her hiccups. Well, more like hiccuping between her laughs.

"I didn't take you for a prankster, Pinkie Pie." She said, impressed as she flew off of the cloud.

"Really?" I asked. "You really didn't think Pinkie would pull pranks for giggles?"

"Well, you know Pinkie Pie, you aren't as annoying as I thought! Wanna hang out?"

Pinkie tried to say yes, but was hiccuping all over the area.

"Just take that as a yes. Oh, and can you count me in? My inner troll needs to be fed."

"Oh right. Your inner troll thing. Maybe you and Jack should come along since I'm sure his is hungry too." Rainbow said.

"Nah, he's helping Applejack and Big Mac on the farm."

"Yeah, you're right. And your brother's a bore."

"Can't argue there. His only fun is in music and video games." I said.

And with that, we started our pranking spree. We had to brainstorm who to get first. I demanded we get Rarity first. So we did. After getting everything we needed, and a little extra surprise for Rarity. We were outside the Carousel Boutique hiding in a bush. Well, they were. Dash put sneezing powder in a bouquet of flowers. I had something else in mind. Instead of hiding with them, I had a box that I brought with me and climbed on the roof above the entrance and took out a pie. Pinkie rang the doorbell and as expected, Rarity opened it, idiotically sniffed the flowers that or all she could know could have been left by a creepy stalker that drugged the flowers so he could do weird stuff to her. She got the sneezing powder on her nose and started sneezing unexpectedly. That's when took my 'pie' out of the box, hung upside down from the roof and flung it at her face. "Bulls-eye, bitch!" I then dropped down and ran to where the two laughing mares were hiding. We picked up our stuff and left. They however, didn't know that I had added an extra ingredient to the pie that was going to haunt Rarity for weeks. Imagine vomiting in a cup, adding moss in it, and then adding in toxic waste, and then shake them up and put it in pie. I didn't do that exactly, but I might as well have in her case. I've just put dye to make that color, and put stink bomb liquid in it. Not only would her head and mane be the color of vomossoxic waste, but now she'll be smelly too.

"Something's wrong with me."

Our next stop was the library. Twilight Sparkle was working on some potion or formula for something until Pinkie swapped her normal ink with disappearing. Her entire set ended up blowing up while she tried to figure out where her writing went. I didn't think it was all that funny. Neither was the next one when the three of us had to paint all of Applejack's apples with washable paint. Well, Pinkie and Rainbow did most of the painting. I told Jack to keep AJ busy. When we were done, Applejack was astonished at her now painted apples.

"LANDSAKES!" She yelled.

Pinks and Dashie laughed with the brushes still in their hands. Jack and I looked at each other, shaking our heads in disappointment as Applejack threw her now-painted apples at them. I bounced before she could turn to me. "I guess Funnydoods and PrankvsPrank spoiled me."

Next was Flutershy. Fluttershy and Brianna were by the park lake feeding the fishes. Dashie put a fake turtle by the shore. Pinkie held the rubber switch in her mouth waiting to squeeze it.

"Is someone over there? Who're we gonna squirt!? Who're we gonna squirt?!"

Dashie chuckled. "Fluttershy." She was watching her with her telescope.

"What?!? Nonononono! We can't prank Fluttershy I mean she's super sensitive! It'll hurt her-"

They were interrupted by a mix between a squeal and a shriek. I went on ahead and squeezed the rubber, squirting the unlucky one from across the river. Rainbow and Pinkie looked at me with disapproving looks.

"I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS MEANIE!!!" screamed a now-soaked Brianna, looking directly at me. I forgot to hide.

I waved and grinned at Brianna before turning to my two partners in crime. "What? We're siblings. That's what fun siblings do." While Dash was looking at me, Pinkie had some leftover black paint from earlier and painted the eye piece of the telescope. She looked back into the telescope to watch Fluttershy dry off Brianna.

"We need a victim made out of tougher stuff. So, who's it gonna be?" She asked, looking around now having a ring around her eye.

That was my cue. When she turned her head away from me, I pulled out Pie#2 and slapped Dash's flank as hard as I could. She yelped and turned in my direction, only to meet with a cream-filled pie. No, I liked Dash, so I didn't add in any extra ingredients like I did with Rarity. For a moment, I thought Pinkie was going to die laughing. The pie slid off of Rainbow's face. She was about to say something until Pinkie licked her face clean. A tongue shouldn't stretch out that far...

"That was for the thunder cloud prank in Town Square." I crossed my arms. She laughed at that.

"Yeah yeah, we all know you wanted to touch my flanks." She slapped her flank in front of me. I raised an eyebrow. She's playing that game again.

I'll bite. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're asking me to do it again."

"PSSSH! As if! I'm too much awesome for you to handle, monkey boy."

We decided to split up as their 'princess lowered the sun'. Pinkie wanted to do it again the next day, and I told her I would join them if I were free.

Saturday 8/29th

The next morning, I found myself free. I awaited where Pinkie told me to meet her in front of Sugarcube Corner. She was wearing some ridiculous get-up. She must've really planned on bringing in some laughs today. She was leading me to Rainbow Dash's house. When we made it to the floating cloud house in the sky, she tried to get Dash's attention.

"Rise and shine Rainbow Dash! It's a brand new day and we got a lot of pranks to do!"

Rainbow didn't answer. Instead an eagle's head popped out of the clouds looking down at us. Rainbow's head popped out of her house later.

"Morning Pinks!" She flew down in between us. "Gilda, this is my gal pal Pinkie Pie. And this is my best bro Xavier."

"Sup?"

'Gilda' flew from the cloud and landed in front of us. Head of an eagle, body of a lion. A griffin.

"Hey. Sup?" She sounded like she wasn't really interested until she focused her yellow eyes on me. "What are you supposed to be?"

"It all depends." I asked looking at her. I wasn't liking her tone.

"Don't worry Gilda. He's cool."

"What's a griffin?" Pinkie asked.

"Head and wings of an eagle with a body of a lion." I replied

"And all awesome!" She responded, talon-bumping Dash.

"In my world, griffins are mythological war beasts that are mounted by us humans to ride into battle." I added.

This seems to get Gilda's attention. "I'm not letting some Ape mount me!"

"Not that I'd want to anyway."

Dash jumped in between us in attempt to change the topic to diffuse the situation.

"Gilda's my best friend from my days at Junior Speedster Flight Camp. Hey! Remember the chant?"

"Pshyeah, they made us recite it every morning. I'll never get that thing out of my head."

"Soooooooo~" I could already tell it as going to be some lame cheerleader-like rhyming chant, so I covered my ears at that point and watched Rainbow Dash flip without hearing a word of it. I never did like school chants. I never did 'em. Nope.

When they were done, Pinkie laughed. Something told me that almost anything would be funny to her, but she is the Element of Laughter after all.

"Well that was awesome! And it gave me a great idea for a prank! Gilda, you game?"

"Huh. Well, I do love a good prank as much as the next griffin, but Dash," she turned to her" you promised we'd get a flying session this morning." She took off.

Yup. I've seen this before. I've lost a few good friends this way before. They ditch me for the bad crowd. This time, I wasn't going to be around for her to do so. Dash approached us both, but I stopped her in her tracks.

"You know, don't say anything. It's fine. Go hang out with your friend." I said, turning away.

I started my walk back home. Maybe someone needs my help. The work might take my mind off of the future loss of someone I grew attached to. It did before, it might do so again. I was stopped half way there, though by a tug on my hoodie.

"Xavier?" Pinkie.

"Yeah?"

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"We've lost her."

"Who?"

"Rainbow Dash. We lost her to that griffin chick. She's not our friend anymore. I'm just letting her go before she has a chance to make the choice. It'll be easier for her that way." I told her.

Pinkie gasped in shock. "How could you say that! Of course Rainbow's our friend!"

"She won't be for long..." I left her. She was naive. A bit too naive. I knew what was coming. It's happened before, many times. No matter what you do, people always want to pick the 'awesome' side, even if it means turning against the good.

I approached my house and looked at a list of people who needed help. There were a few things needed to be done for tomorrow, but not for today. Fuck! Looks like it's heavy death metal in my room or free running. Fuck it. I'll do both. I went up to my room and grabbed my headphones and mp3 player. Fully charged. Great. I walked out of my house. I started running. I caught the attention of some of the ponies, and even more when I started climbing houses and jumping on roofs. After a while of doing that, I was fully focused on nothing but running. I barely heard someone call me. I stopped right here, trying to find out who called, taking off my headphones. That's when I heard it.

"I'm walkin' here!"

...Gilda...

"Um...oh..um.. I'm sorry..."

And Fluttershy..

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Gilda mocked. "Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus!"

"Hey you big meanie! Leave Fluttershy alone! She's nice unlike you!"

And Brianna... I turned to the three. They were drawing in a crowd.

Gilda leaned back and brought fourth a roar that frightened both Fluttershy and made Brianna cry. They both ran away in tears. Mayhem, we have a bully problem and her name is Gilda. What's that? You want me to kick her ass? Alright!!! Locked on to my target, I walked up to her while ponies were murmuring their "What's her problem?"s.

"Dweebs. All these lame ponies are driving-"

"My foot up your furryass!!" I finished for her, giving her the hardest kick to the gut that would've made any punter proud. There was a loud gasp coming from a ponies and a yelp coming from the bitch griffin that fell to the ground holding her stomach. While she was down, I grabbed her by her neck and forced her to look at me. I started in my Vin Diesel voice.

"A friend of my brother's has a rule he made for people like you." I pulled her closer. "Fuck with my friend's, brothers, and sisters, and you fuck with me." I dropped her on the ground. "And you do not want... to fuck.. with me.." I spat on her face and left her lying there. I hope next time, you'll think twice before trying to bully my sister and my friends.

After that, I felt oddly better, like most of my stresses have been relieved. No matter what it was, I just let it all out in that one kick. I've always wanted to beat up a bully and she gave me a good reason to. I put my headphones on again and turned on my mp3 player. I felt good in this neighborhood. Woo! That is until I felt a hoof tap my shoulder and turned around to a livid Rainbow Dash. This couldn't be good. I took off my headphones.

"Sup?"

"Don't you dare 'sup' me! You know what you did!" She yelled.

"I kicked her ass."

"She said you just randomly went up to her and kicked her really hard in the stomach for no good reason!"

"Bull... shit..."

"This is not what I expected from you." And the good mood was gone and replaced with the same rage for before. "Why?! Why did you do it, Xavier?!?"

"Same reason why I kicked your ass in the first place.. Ask Fluttershy. ASK THE GODDAMN PONIES WHO WERE THERE WHAT HAPPENED!" She was shocked when I raised my voice at her for the very first time. "You may not consider me your friend anymore. You may stop being my friend for someone you think is 'more awesome than me', but if you both decide to mess with family or my friends, I'll be there. I'm warning you because I used to consider us close."

"I don't know if we are even friends anymore. No friends would hurt another without good reason."

This bitch is deaf. I walked home without a word.

-Rainbow's POV-

I watched my former 'best bro' walk away. I still couldn't believe he'd just attack Gilda out of nowhere because he 'thought' she was bullying her sister! It was probably just a harmless prank or something. He completely went too far! Well, Pinkie was throwing Gilda a party to cheer her up at least. Pinkie's such a good friend.

I went over to Sugarcube Corner to help set up Gilda's party. I also decided to add my personal 'touch' to the party I think Gilda will appreciate. I wish Xavier could've joined us. I shook my head from the thought. Who needs him? This party will be better off without him! The party attendants were walking through the door. Applejack and Rarity were talking to each other. This is going to be great! Gilda had just walk through the front door!

"Gilda!" Pinkie shouted. "I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie Parties! And I really truly sincerely hope you feel welcome among our ponyfolk!" She held out her hoof. Here it comes! Gilda slowly grabbed her hoof, but was met with a nasty shock. Pinkie and I shared a laugh. I walked up to them.

"Oh Pinkie Pie, the old hoofshake buzzard!" It was a classic!

"Yeah, heheh, good one, Pinkie Pie." Gilda said. I knew she would hit it off with my new friends!

"Cmon G. I want you to see to some of my other friends." I said.

"Right behind you Dash!" I heard her say.

-Jack's POV-

Man, today was a busy day! I wanna go home, but I promised AJ that she'd see me at Pinkie's party. I crossed paths with Jeff and asked him to join me so I wouldn't be the only human there. We made our way to Sugarcube Corner, but it sounded more like a lion's roar than a party. I opened the door.

"Am I late?" I asked.

"THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD TIME?! I HAVE NEVER MET A LAMER BUNCH OF DWEEBS IN ALL MY LIFE!!" Hoo-boy... "And Pinkie Pie! You! You are Queen Lame-o with your WEAK little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?! Well! Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together! Cmon Dash! We're bailing on this pathetic scene! she said, headed this way. I backed off, but Jeff didn't do the same.

-Dash's POV-

This isn't right. This cannot be the same Gilda I was cool with! And then she had the nerve to demand me to leave my friends behind?! I needed to set her straight then and there. I told her that I was the one who set up the pranks. She still tried to blame it on Pinkie. I wasn't gonna take it. She was blaming my friends for her shortcomings! Nuh-uh!

"This isn't how I'd picture my old friend treating my new friends! If being cool is all you care about, then maybe you should find new 'cool' friends somewhere else!"

Brianna shouted from behind that Jeff guy who was standing at the door. "That mean birdy bully me!"

What did she say?

"Wait.. She 'bullied' you?!" I heard Jack ask from around the corner.

That means Xavier was...

Jeff cracked his knuckles. "You know, chicken shit! I agree with you. I find most of these ponies to be more than lame. I think they're pansy assed cowards who wouldn't know toughness if it bit them in the ass! But I got an issue with you! I have a rule for people like you..." Gilda opened her eyes in shock as Jeff stepped closer. "Fuck with my friends, and you fuck with me..." Gilda took a step back. "and you do NOT want to fuck... with... me!"

Twilight put a holding spell on Jeff as he stood there frozen. While she did that, I walked up to Gilda.

"You better leave before he breaks free." Gilda didn't need to be told twice. And I hope I never see you again you motherbucker!

-Jack's POV-

Well, I'm kinda glad I missed that party. Pinkie said it wasn't over, but it might as well have been. Applejack came up beside me.

"Uh, that Jeff feller puts us all on edge. Who's side is he on anyway?"

I turned to her. "He's on my side, Xavier's side, Brianna's side, and on the other humans' side. We're on your side. You dont have nothin to worry about."

Then, Rainbow Dash walked up to me. She looked like she was on the verge of tears before she raised on her hind legs and put her fore hooves on me.

"Jack, I need your help! I messed up bad!"

"How bad?"

"Really bad!"

"What did you do?"

"I need to talk to Xavier!"

"Isn't he here?"

She shook her head.

"Must be at home then. Follow me." I said. Rainbow Dash and Applejack complied.

It was a quiet walk home. Rainbow didn't tell me what she did, but apparently Xavier is involved. It wasn't until I heard Dethclock coming from an open window to his room. I slowly turned my head to the guilty mare beside me and glared at her.

"What in the hell did you do?!?"

-Xavier's POV-

This happens all the time. I should be used to it. The only friend I have is Jack. The only one I trust anyway. I sat there, brooding. Who was to say the other ponies wouldn't do the same? He didn't care much for Rarity, but the others.. What about Pinkie? Twilight? Fluttershy? I can't really see Fluttershy digging a knife deep into my back and twisting it like I can see the others. I heard a knock on my door and stopped the metal. I thought of something to say to the knockers so they'd get the message to fuck off.

"This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed, bitch!"

"Enough with the references, dude!" I heard Jack say.

Jack's the most trustworthy. I unlocked the door, but went right back to the window. It was a good few minutes before I heard him again.

"Uh, can we come in?"

"Enter." I said before the door opened.

"Hey, uh, Dash told me everything about what happened."

"Did she tell you which knife she used?"

"Look, can you blame her? They knew each other since they were kids. Hell, if you ended up being a bully to the ponies, I'd make the same mistake too, brah. I wouldn't believe them one bit. You can't really blame her that much. Besides, she didn't know your 'friend loss history'."

"Didn't? So you told her?" I asked.

"Well yeah. It could only help if she knew. She feels horrible about it. C'mon bruh, give it another shot." He said.

"Do not apologize for someone else. It takes a lot away from it."

"Will you at least go downstairs and hear from her yourself? I mean, I know you've had a tough time with making friends, but ask yourself. How many decided to come back to apologize and make up for their fuck-ups?" The answer to that was zilch. I gave out a sigh.

"Only because you asked." He probably knew I was crying not too long ago, but it made it better when I couldn't see him through my hood. It meant he couldn't see my eyes as I walked by. I went downstairs. Applejack was sitting beside Rainbow on the ground. I couldn't see their heads though since my hood was in the way. I sat down on my dad's recliner. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"I-I'm sorry. Gilda. She lied to me and made me hate you! I should've talked to you about it first. You deserved to be heard out. You're my best bro. One that I've treated badly. So much for Element of Loyalty."

"Rainbow."

"I don't know how to make it up to you but I'm gonna try even if it takes forever!"

"Rainbow."

"I'll give you a free shot and I won't hold it against you!"

I stood up, walked up to her. As if I took the later offer, she closed her eyes tight. I wasn't gonna hit her. Not really. I pat her head instead, because she's not the only one who's made a mistake.

"I'm not going to hit you, Rainbow. I should apologize too."

She looked at me. "For what?"

"If you would've talked to Pinkie, she would've told you that I had a bad feeling about Gilda ever since we crossed paths. When you chose Gilda over me and Pinkie, I assumed you were gonna abandon us."

"I did abandon you, but I might as well have."

"Well, if you're giving me a free shot, I'm gonna give you a free shot too." I offered.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm as sure as you-" I was cut off. My mouth was covered by another pair of lips. She flew up to me and kissed me! This lasted half a minute. It surprisingly felt almost the same as kissing another human. I thought it was going to be sloppy and gross and stuff, but it wasn't. These ponies do have human-like faces instead of those long-faced equines back home, don't they? So it makes sense that they'd be kissable. It wasn't bad actually. What really confused me was something else. Does this mean she was harboring feelings for me? She broke the kiss.

"Don't take it to heart, ape." She said.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that was a best bro kiss." I assumed.

"Uh, yeah! That's exactly what it was! Not like I'd date an ape!" She said, teasingly. "We were just-" I cut her off with another kiss. I guess I could accept best bro kisses. They're harmless, right? I took a peek at Dash and she had the same look of shock that I had before she started closing her eyes. It didn't really last long though. maybe 10 or 15 seconds less than hers.

"So I guess this will be a thing between us?"

"Y-yeah! Just.. It's just a friendly thing! It's not like I have feelings for you or anything! I just felt like I owed ya. Yeah, I'm still too awesome for ya!"

"Yeah, whatever." I guess this means she's going to be messing with me more, and I get to mess with her back.

I didn't hear Applejack mumble "Rainbow, you're just a fibber aint ya?"

Author's Note

And with that ends Chapter 7. There are a few references hidden in this one. And now that Gilda's been dealt with and the problem with Xavier and Dash's been solved, they've gotten closer. In case people start thinking the relationship is rushed, Xavier and Dash are still not in a relationship, believe it or not. According to AJ, her interest in him sparked, but Xavier's more 'oblivious' when it comes to what a girl really wants and thinks she's just messing with him. Expect more flirting between the two in the future. That's as far as I'm gonna take it though, for now. The time for their romance is coming though. Maybe not within the next few chapters, but it's coming, and I have already planned on how it's gonna happen. :raritywink:

I'm still not sure rather to make 'herding' a thing in this. There are far more female ponies than male. It's just a thought for now. That'll be enough talk of shipping for now, though. :trollestia:

There won't be much from the kid's POV until 'Call of the Cutie'. I'll be looking forward to that too. Another thing, I'll also try to improvise the lines so it'll seem less like me typing directly from the show for I find that it's taking away from the creativity and originality. No need to comment on it. That's one thing I'll be aware of in future chapters. I'll probably just start summarizing the script in a paragraph or two to avoid 'script-copying'.

Anyway, thanks for reading, leave a thumbs up and leave comments if you liked it. If not, constructive criticism is always welcome here.

And onto the next chapter: "Narnia: The Bear, the Bitch, and the Two Idiots"

Chapter 8: The Bitch, The Bear, and the Bastards..

Chapter 8: The Bitch, the Bear, and the Bastards.

Thursday 10/1st

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

I would say that we were beginning to have a normal life, but that would be a lie. It would be if I had a job and a flirty friend girl back on Earth, but to be honest I think I'm starting to like it here. Sure, I miss the taste of meatball subs and pepperoni pizza. Sure I'm going to miss the taste of ordering some General Tso's chicken and steamed rice. I hear Griffins here eat meat. I may have to order some from them when we run out or get tired of fish that Fluttershy sends us. Speaking of Griffins, Rainbow Dash told me that Gilda used to be cool. She was the very first friend she made at her junior flight camp. Funny story, Gilda was the one being picked on and bullied. How in the hell did she become a bully if she was so nice there?! I guess for a griffin, the older you get, the smaller the heart gets. I suppose I can say the same for some humans back home.

Fluttershy has been a huge help to us in multiple ways. Not only did she send us fish that her animals caught for her, but she also looks after Brianna and Jonathan. The later was upset that we forgot his birthday on Monday. Firstly, the ponies didn't know. Pinkie had pinkie swore to throw him an "I'm sorry we forgot your birthday" party soon. Jack said he didn't forget. He and AJ had picked Jonathan up and took him to the party for some apple pie and presents. Applebloom wanted to go over to my house to celebrate the birthday because of the cool stuff we had. Everyone was busy though and no one was at home. I was pranking with Pinks and Dash. Jeff was helping with repairs from the stampede incident. Trae was holding a stand for someone, and Hiroto was studying at the library. That kid needs to get out of the books and live a little if you ask me.

Dash and I have been hanging out more. Her colleagues even said that she wasn't taking mid-work naps anymore so she could get done faster. I had an idea why, but I didn't tell them. It's not like it was any of their business anyway. Dash and I got close since the Gilda incident, but not as close as the Jacks seem to be. Jack started volunteering to assist AJ with anything she may need help with on the farm. I think he just likes the food she cooks. That sounds like him. One thing I know about Jack is that he has a fat personality, but somehow he stays thin. Dat saiyan metabolism! Fluttershy is pretty much Brianna's mother from another world. Fluttermom! Hah! But blood is still thicker than water. She's still living with us. That won't change anytime soon. Bribri still plays with Jonathan and Applebloom though. I thought school would've started by now. I guess things are different here.

-End of Recap-

This morning was just as uneventful as ever. I wake up, perform my daily morning routine, leave the house to walk Bri over to Fluttershy's before I start my work schedule. Funny thing was that my first assignment was a request by none other than the first mare to demonize me, Roseluck. She, Lilly, and Daisy needed my help with putting up a fence around their flowers in case of another incident like the bunny stampede.

Of course, knowing me, I just had to troll her, saying that my payment would be her for dinner. It didn't work with either of them, an she responded with a "You're silly! You can take me to dinner if you want, Mr. Human." I don't know how Rainbow would feel about that. I knew we weren't that close, but I'm not gonna risk unintentionally upsetting anyone.

"Maybe another time." I replied.

The task ended up taking me a few hours. I had to make a lot of trips after I took measurements. The Apples had a few spare wood they couldn't use, but I only needed a little. I mean, c'mon. It's a flower fence. I took a trip to a store owned by two stallions named Nutz and Boltz to buy, uh. You guessed it. Nuts, bolts, hinges, etc. I made it home, and into my garage. The garage door has never been opened in Ponyville, and I don't plan on opening it anytime soon. Sure it'd be more simple to open it so I won't have to lug the wood, nuts, and bolts through the house to get it into the garage and then lug out the finish product through the same way, but there will be curious eyes. They do not know what's in here except stuff that makes loud noises. So far, all they know is that it's some type of construction magic considering I go in with raw materials and come out with whatever I was making. I silently thanked my dad for his homeschooling wood shop class. I would've lost a few fingers to these machines.

After I was done, I took the finished product and made it over to Roseluck's. I'm glad I was good at geometry. The fence reached around her flowers perfectly. She coughed up the bits and I was on to my next task at Sugarcube Corner. Or it would've been my next task, but Mr. Wilson was already there. Oh well. I guess I'm free for the rest of the day. So I was on my way back home until I saw fireworks going off in Town Square. Not having anything else to do, I went to check it out. I saw five of my friends plus dragon and siblings in the front. I then heard a voice.

"Come friends! Come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trrrrrrrrrixie!!!"

A blue mare with a silver-ish mane and tail wearing a wizard get-up appeared on the stage in a poof of smoke. Hm. A magician show mare. This should be entertaining.

"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!"

I went over and sat by the five.

"My my my, what boasting." Rarity said.

Rarity, she's a fucking performer! That's what performers do! I remained quiet after being reminded why I disliked Rarity so much.

"Come on, no one's as magical as Twil-." I cut off Spike.

"Twilight's not a performer, Spike." I told him.

"There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?" Twilight asked, walking up to Rarity.

"No, there isn't." I answered before Rarity could say some stupid shit.

Applejack looked at Trixie "Nothin wrong at all, except'n for when they're goin' around and showin it off like a schoolfilly with fancy new ribbons."

"Like I said, she's a performer. It's what she does!" I said, getting a tad bit irritated with being ignored.

"Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us." Rarity said.

"Yeah especially when you've got me around being better than the rest of us!" Rainbow 'agreed'.

If anyone were paying attention, I was pretty much making the Jackie Chan "What the... I don't even" expression. What the fuck?! When did she ever say she was better than anyone? Holy shit you all are stupid!!

Applejack noticed my visible agony. "You alright there, sugarcube?"

I was about to tell them everything wrong with their conversation until Trixie opened her mouth.

"Well well well. It seems we have some neigh sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant and challenge the magic ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie?!"

Okay, she's angry at a group of hecklers while maintaining her persona on stage. Totally reasonable. Time to be the mature adult. I stood up to address the showmare.

"Sorry Great and Powerful Trixie. We appreciate your efforts in entertainment!" I said, looking at my small group of heckler friends. "We would appreciate seeing more of your magic PERFORMANCES and I hope will proceed to SHUT UP while you continue with the tricks you wish to show us."

Rarity was about to say something to me, but I put my hand over her mouth to shut her up instantly. I didn't want to hear it from a mare who shows off her talents all the fucking time!. Spike was about to go on about how Twilight was better in magic than Trixie was, but was shut up by Twilight. I was trying to keep calm. Trixie looked me over.

"At least somepony respects the Great and Powerful Trixie, even if it isn't a pony." For the sake of her show, I decided not to call her out on her small mistake at the end of her sentence.

Rainbow Dash flew up there and asked her how she was so great and powerful. Dammit Rainbow! She then went on about vanquishing an Ursa Major, which Twilight told me was the size of a mountain. Probably just her stage persona talking, but we all know she didn't do anything of the sort. Well, most of us. Two idiotic ponies actually believed her.

Trixie then challenged the 6 to a performance contest. Okay, she may be taking this stage persona thing a bit too far, but I can see why she would. She challenged Twilight first, but Applejack decided to defend her friend by doing rope tricks. Trixie countered it by tying her with her own rope and shoving an apple in her mouth. If Jack were here, he'd either be pissed, or think that Applejack was into bondage. Hahaha!

After AJ's well deserved humiliation, Rainbow did her speed performance, zipping a hole through multiple clouds that even the rain water followed her. When she finally stopped and formed a rainbow over her form as the water sprinkled her.

"Hey, that was actually impressive." I thought out loud. This made Rainbow blush a little.

"Yeah, I know. They don't call me Rainbow and Dash for nothing monkey boy!"

Trixie countered this by making a tornado out of Rainbow Dash's rainbow... What? ... and spun her off the stage. I wanted to go up there, but remembered that as impressive and awesome she may be, she was still in the wrong here. Well, I was going to do nothing until Trixie struck Rainbow by lightning. I was about to call her out on her unprofessional-ism. That was uncalled for. Well, everyone was laughing, and Rainbow wasn't hurt or anything. I guess lightning aren't lethal to ponies? Magic... Either way, I lost a bit of respect for Trixie.

I continued to sit there and watch. It seems like everyone who failed to upstage Trixie on her own show were edging Twilight to do the same. I went over beside my sister who was standing beside Fluttershy and asked her "Wait... so it's alright for Twilight to show off her magic but it's not alright for Trixie? I think even you can see the hypocrisy here, sis." She thought about it and nodded her head in agreement.

That was when Rarity took the stage. A grin creeped onto my face. Yes! This aughta be good! All Rarity did was use style her mane fancy-like. Trixie countered it by turning her now-ruffled mane green with earthworms and twigs sticking out. I liked Trixie again. I was rollin'. I busted a gut. I was cracking up harder than Gabriel Iglesias. Trixie saw that I enjoyed this and turned her coat another shade of green.

I laughed even harder. "SHE'S ANGRY EVERYBODY! YOU WOULDN'T LIKE HER WHEN HE'S ANGRY!!!" The now green mare ran off, crying. I got venomous looks from Twilight and the other ponies. They were gonna have a word with me and my lack of support. I just knew it. However, they were still in the wrong and were getting their just desserts. As her friends (Minus Fluttershy and Rarity) edged Twilight to take Trixie on, she did the exact opposite. She ran off, claiming her laundry was calling. She doesn't wear clothes.

I didn't bother with the five. They wouldn't want to talk to me right now anyway, and frankly, I didn't really care. After a while, Trixie was by her stage brushing her mane. I decided it'd be nice to greet her.

"Hey Trixie!"

"I see somepony wishes to admire the Great and Powerful Trixie in pony."

"Well, yeah, but I'm not a pony, as you pointed out earlier, and I just wanted to tell you that your performance was pretty damn impressive."

"Oh. It's you. Friends with those heckling up-stagers."

"Yeah. I know. I honestly don't know what got into them. I'm glad you did what you did though. They deserved it. Hah! What you did to Rarity though. That was grand!"

"Trixie is happy you liked her performance, although.. Trixie questions your choice of friends."

"I don't think they know what show names and personas are. Around where i'm from, performers do the same thing you do. And hey, everyone else seemed to enjoy your show too, but I'd call myself a fan. My little sis loves ya too." She blushed at he compliments.

"Well, Trixie thank you for your kindness. Perhaps she can entertain you with a special trick she has been working on?" she said, still talking in third person.

The very reason I'm okay with third person talking is because where I grew up, some people talk in third person. My grandma talks in third person. My gym teacher talks in third person. I paid it no mind. She took her hat off and was about to do something. That was until Dumb and Dumber showed up, shoving a glass of drink in her face. Seriously? Personal space! It looked like Snail butt has some sort of crush on her. They asked how she managed to vanquish an Ursa Major. I mentally facepalmed at how idiotic they were.

"Trixie is far too exhausted from performing feats beyond imagination. Begone you two, until morrow." They bowed and walked away while walking. I was about to leave too, but Trixie stopped me by pulling my hood with her magic. "Wait! Trixie is curious to know what kind of creature you are. In all of Trixie's journey, she has never seen anything like you before."

"I'm a human. I'm also a male. A 'he', not an 'it'. You called me an 'it' on stage."

She looked around, not seeing anyone around before speaking up. "Trixie would like to apologize for her rudeness and she wishes to know your name, human."

"It's Xavier Roberts, but just call me Xavier."

She smiled. "Trixie was wondering if you would like to travel and perform with her. Trixie has a cage that she thinks she could fit you inside of. We could get a lot of publicity and Trixie could get you a piano to play and everything."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'd have to decline, sadly. One, I'm not some exotic animal to be caged. If you hadn't noticed, I'm civilized, and I don't feel comfortable with being shown off as a sideshow. Secondly, I'm needed more here. I have a home here. A house, siblings, and other humans to live with. Thirdly, I suck at piano."

She sighed, a bit disappointed. "Trixie understands and apologizes once more."

"Don't worry. Like you said before, you've seen nothing like me. You couldn't have known. Just remember, human aren't pets. We may look like tail-less monkeys, but we're not." I said, scratching behind her ears.

She seemed to enjoy that. With that, we went inside of her stage and talked about show stuff. She said she was from Trottingham, and I stated that I'm from another dimension and my birthplace doesn't exist here. She laughed when I told her that my friends, siblings and I got sucked here along with our house. I also told her about TVs and movie theatres. She seemed interested. Half of me wanted to show her around, but the other half told me she could be too busy. I would've asked, but I didn't want to make it seem like I was coming on to her. She was cool off stage. She told me that she didn't really vanquish an ursa major, but it was a persona backstory that got a lot of ponies' attention and drew them in. I kinda know how things go, Trixie. I told her to be careful with that backstory from now on. Who knows what could happen?

"Trixie will take your words into consideration."

"Anyway, I should get going. It's getting late and I promised sis that I'd cook her favorite dinner today and I don't want her to-" I was cut off by a roar in the distance along with the two idiots from earlier shouting for Trixie outside.

"Trixie thought she said that Great and Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed!"

Idiots are incapable of taking a hint.

I heard a roar shortly after. Whatever it was coming closer. And judging by the shaking ground, it was pretty big. I saw it. It looked like a huge bear made of stars and nova dust. Trixie and I, along with the two stallions booked it. That thing was fast and it looked pretty pissed. I've never ran so fast in my life.

We kept running until we were cornered.

Scissor butt started. "Great and Powerful Trixie! You have to vanquish the Ursa!"

Snailly urged her on too, grinning like an idiot. "Yeah, vanquish the Ursa so we can watch!"

"We went through a lot of trouble to get that thing here!"

Trixie and I turned to the two. "Wait.. You brought this here?!? Are you out of your loony minds?!" Trixie exclaimed.

"But you're the Great and Powerful Trixie. Remember? You defeated an ursa major." They said, actually expecting her to do something.

"YOU FUCKING MORONS!!! IT'S A FUCKING PERSONA BACKSTORY!!! IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I WILL PERSONALLY KICK BOTH OF YOUR DUMBASSES ALL THE WAY TO THE MOUNTAIN-SIDE CASTLE!!!" I so badly wanted to throw them into the mouth of that thing, but then, that wouldn't look good to the rest of the ponies. I needed to do something. I bent down low infront of the mare unicorn. "Trixie, climb on my back. Don't question it, just do it." She didn't hesitate. She tucked her tail between her hind-legs and and jumped on my back. I started climbing on the lowest roof. Thanking my favorite outdoor hobby being free running, I was pretty much running on top of the buildings to get away from the large star bear. I then realized, it wasn't after the twins anymore. It was after the mare on my back who it heard had defeated an Ursa Major.

The bear was destroying homes trying to catch up to us. Jeff has his work cut out for him. Eventually, I spotted Twilight. She's the smartest mare in town. I landed by her. "Hey Twilight. How do you get rid of a pissed off giant star bear?" Somehow, the two responsible for this mess made it here first.

"We brought it here so wanna see the Great and Powerful Trixie vanquish the Ursa Major. What are ya waitin for?" One of them asked.

"I made it all up! I never did vanquish an ursa major! Weren't you listening?!? It's impossible to vanquish one! No one ever has! I just made the story up to make myself look better!"

If shitting bricks was a possibility, the two woud have enough to repair those destroyed buildings themselves. That's if they were made out of bricks..

The Ursa roared as it found us. Twilight stepped out in front of us. Her horn started to glow. I don't know what was happening, but someone was playing a flute somewhere that was lulling the giant behemoth. Twilight also carried a large large water silo full of milk she got from who-knows-where and gave it to the bear who was then lifted up, out of town, and back into the Everfree. Everyone congratulated Twilight.

"Well done, Twi." I said. "I don't know how you did it, but you did it." Twilight looked at me. I guess she hadn't forgotten about the Rarity thing.

She turned to her friends. "You mean you don't hate me?"

"Hate you?!" The four asked in unison.

"Whatever do you mean, darling?" Asked Rarity.

"Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie for showing off with her magic tricks. I just thought-" She was cut of by Dash.

"Woah woah woah. Magic's got nothin to do with it! Trixie's just a loud mouth!"

Shut up Dash...

"Most unpleasant." Agreed Rarity.

Shut the fuck up Rarity

"All hat 'n' no cattle." finished AJ.

I had it.

"shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

Rainbow Dash spoke up first. "Dude, what's your deal?! You've been acting weird today."

Applejack continued. "Yeah, I thought you were our friend."

Rarity finished for them. "Such uncouth language and behavior."

"NO! YOU THREE SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS RIGHT NOW!!! I AM TIRED!!! You four have been ignoring me ALMOST ALL DAMN DAY! I was chased by a GIANT FUCKING STAR BEAR!!! YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!!!"

They all shut up, even the ponies in the background.

"First of all, ARE YOU THREE FUCKING INSANE?!?" I said to Twilight's friends. "Of course she's going to boast about her unique abilities! She's a fucking showmare! It's what she does to put food on her plate and maintain her home, which may I now remind you is now crushed! She's a fucking perfomer! IT'S WHAT SHE DOES!!! Twilight's not a performer! Sure she uses her magic in a more productive manner. That's pretty damn awesome! Trixie NEVER said she was better than anyone of you! You all assumed she meant it because of what? Her STAGE NAME?!? OF COURSE she never fucking vanquished a giant star bear! Have you ever heard of a PERSONA BACKSTORY?!? Performers do it all the fucking time!!! It gets them attention!! Not MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE!!! I tried to tell ALL of you that, but ya just won't listen! Ya ignant!"

The main three culprits were starting to see where I was getting at, not really wanting to hear the second thing I was about to bring up.

"Secondly, I gotta say, YOU THREE ARE FUCKING HYPOCRITES!!! YOU THREE SHOW OFF ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!!!" I tried to put on my best southern accent. "Ah got da best applez in Equestria right here at Shweet Apple Acresh! SHOWOFF!!!" I turned to Rarity. "Oh, and DON'T you get me started on you, Rarity! You're the worst hypocrite out of the three of ya! You're more flashy with your shit than Trixie could ever be! NO! Literally!!! Yes! You're a good seamstress, fashionista, or whatever! What Trixie does with magic you do with clothes!" I turned to Rainbow. "You, Rainbow Dash, I'm actually impressed with your tricks, but don't bring someone else down when they harmlessly try to make themselves look good too! I mean for fuck's sake! The three of you actually fucking deserved the humiliation Trixie gave you!! So no, I will not support hypocrisy! Not from my friends! Not from my family! No!"

I took a deep breath. "And third of all..." I turned to the two idiots who were trying to sneak away. Trixie magic'd them back. "If anyone should be chastised, it should be THESE FUCKING MORONS RIGHT HERE!!!" I turned to them. "what the FUCK was going on through your minds that you had to go about bringing a FUCKING BEHEMOTH INTO TOWN!!! HOMES! WORKPLACES! ALL DESTROYED! Some people may have gotten hurt because of you two!!!" As expected, they cowered.

"Well Spike gave us the idea to bring an Ursa Major here so we could see her vanquish it ourselves!"

Spike shrunk four sizes that night under Twilight's death glare.

I turned to Spike. "Is this true?"

"How was I supposed to know that they were gonna bring an actual Ursa Major here?!" Spike said in defense.

"They actually believed that she defeated one..." I answered simply.

"Spike, I know you didn't see it coming but you're lucky that was an Ursa Minor, and a baby one at that." Twilight scolded.

"I just wanted people to know that you're the most magical pony here." Spike said, on the verge of tears.

Twilight facehoofed. "Spike, what am I going to do with you?"

"I got the answer for you prissy lil' ponies!!" A voice called out.

Jeff stepped out of the corner. "How 'bout these three pansies pay there dues by helpin me with them torn down buildings! Who knows? Maybe a loose plank-a-wood might fall and knock some damn sense into 'em." He laughed.

Twilight nodded. "That sounds like a great idea, minus the plank of wood hitting them part. Right Spike? Right!" She answered for Spike.

"Bright and early infront of my house tomorrow morning! I'll have yer hardhats ready!" He said.

"Now! If you excuse me, I NEED A COLD DRINK! AND SOME FUCKING SLEEP!!!" I yelled. Right then and there, I started my trip back home. I was so steamed that I didn't notice I was being followed. I turned around, ready to scream my head off until I saw it was Trixie.

"Do you have a moment for Trixie?" she asked.

"If you can walk and talk at the same time. I wasn't joking about being tired."

"Trixie wants to thank you for defending her. Trixie will also take your advice in changing her backstory to avoid... this"

"Good idea."

We reached my house. I was about to bid her farewell, but remembered she didn't have a home. I invited her to stay a few nights and that I would pay and repair her stage home, but she refused. She said she'd stay a night then take the morning train back to Trottingham and stay with her parents until she can afford another stage.

Two things happened that night. I became a number one friend that night, and The Great and Powerful Trixie has grown a soft spot for humans.

Author's Note

And that is it for chapter 8. Soooo many references! Find 'em all. And yeah, I really did feel bad for Trixie. When you think about it, Trixie's a performer. Twilight's friends were talking a lot of shit about her for being just that. And then they ended up trying to show off and got mad when Trixie defended her stage, and tried to get Twilight to do the very same thing they were hating on Trixie for. What the actual fuck?!? And then Trixie's painted as an antagonist.

I really think Hasbro made a slip on this episode. This is really how that episode should've ended. :raritydespair: :rainbowhuh: :ajsleepy:

Also, I made a reference to another fiction that was rather well made in my opinion. It's called The Piano Man by The Sentient Cloud. It's a good HiE story with a great sequel (imo).

Anyway, leave a thumbs up if you like it and a comment on what you think.

Next Episode will be the from the point of view of Mr. Jeffery Clifton in Dragonshy.

Chapter 9: They call her Dovah-shy.

Sunday 10/4th.

-Xavier POV-

-Recap-

It's been three days. None of the ponies had visited or talked to me ever since Trixie left. Well, except for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, and Rainbow only talked to me once, yesterday. She was expecting an apology from me. I told her that I couldn't rightfully do so and had explained why. I asked her what she thought would have happened if the four of them kept their mouths shut and didn't heckle in the first place, but instead moved on. For one, my voice would've been saved. Buildings would have been spared, and they wouldn't have made an enemy. Yes. They did make an enemy out of Trixie. I said 'they', meaning them. The ponies. I think they're still my friends, but uh, they handled it wrong themselves, while I tried to diffuse the situation. They just didn't listen. Rainbow thought about it and begrudgingly agreed that thing could have been better.

Fluttershy came by with more fish and told me to just give them time. It sounds like a good idea. In this pink 'n' peaceful land of ponies, unicorns, sunshine and rainbows, I doubt anyone had ever told them off like I did. I only respect 4 of the six now. Rainbow, I still like her. She admitted her faults. Sure, I had to corner her like Phoenix Wright on a good day in court first, but she admitted it. Applejack is being stubborn towards the entire situation, giving me a nasty glare whenever we cross paths. She's the Element of Honesty. Well I'll 'honestly' say that she's being an 'honest' pain in the ass. No doubt she told Jack what happened. No worries, because I'll just explain everything that happened to him. Jack understands me more than he'll understand anyone else. Fluttershy never instigated, Twilight not only didn't decide to jump on the bandwagon, but also saw to reason. Pinkie, I was starting to worry about. I hadn't seen her the day of the incident, nor have I seen her the day after. My worries were put to rest when I saw her yesterday. She had told me she was sick that day. I wish she would've given me notice so I could let her friends know. I apologized for not being of any use. You know, to make her feel cared for at most, even though I don't really have anything to be sorry about. I'm nice like that. Rarity? Fuck her. Enough said. Before she left, Trixie said that she would come back to Ponyville soon, if everything went well. Nothing if only to visit me and my fellow homo sapiens.

-Recap over-

I woke up to commotion outside. That's not the only thing that hit me. For some reason I had this horrid migraine. That could only mean four things. Either the stress is getting to me, I am actually sick, I am drinking too much coffee with breakfast, or... I opened the window. Of course. It was cloudy. For those who don't know, for some people,grey skies can trigger a migraine for some people. Unfortunately, I am one of those people. I got out of my bed and went downstairs. The closer I was to the commotion, the more pain I felt in my head. I had to find out what was going on, but I wish the ponies out there would shut up!

Traevon saw me heading out. When I opened the door, I wanted to tell them to shut up. It was starting to become too much though. I couldn't take it anymore. I began to lose my field of vision as it narrowed. Ocular Migraine. Bro saw me struggling and helped me back up to my room and in bed. A splitting pain in my head along with blindness.

"Thanks bro."

"Take it easy on the caffeine next time."

"You know I only have one cup of joe a day. It's the clouds."

"Those aren't regular clouds. Brianna said that Twilight believes it's dragon smoke. Apparently a sleeping dragon is emitting enough smoke to cover the skies. Our pony girls are headed up there now." He told me.

Them? Against a dragon?!? I knew I couldn't help, but I know someone who would want to go on a manly hike up the mountains to earn some man points for taking on a dragon.

"Bro, can you do me a favor and ask Jeff for a favor?" I asked.

-Jeff's POV-

(Warning: Character's POV may be offensive, but he gives no shits.)

I was up and ready for some work. We were almost done with one of the buildings that got destroyed by that giant bear. I'm sure those two jerkoffs were waiting for me but before I go out, I needed some meat on my bones! Fuck these ponies! I'm eatin' meat! I'm no grass eater. These ponies even eat flowers. That's fucking disgusting. I cook myself some bacon to go with pancakes Hiroto fixed. Time to do my fifty pushups. Back on Earth, I'd usually have my own weight set to help me start off the day. I told Traevon he needed to get more man muscle. He said he wasn't a 'muscle head'. Fuck that shit! After that, I ended up waiting for Mr. Wilson to get out of the bathroom. He's probably puttin on cologne for a date with Apple Ass. I'll never understand how he's been turned into a horse fucker. Judging from what Xavier told me, he'll stick his dick in any girl. Mr. Roberts, (Traevon. Not his father.) walked up to me.

"Good morning Jeff."

"Yeah."

"You don't have any plans, do you?"

"Got somethin for me?"

"Yeah. Favor from Xavier. He wants you help the girls get rid of a dragon on the mountains. He thinks they'll need some man power. He said he'd go but uh, he's under the weather today."

Hah! Perfect!

"Say no more, say no more. I'll help the ponies take care of the dragon for the little guy! Hahaha! Just leave that oversized lizard to me and my man Hank."

"Hank?"

I didn't answer that question. I just put on my combat boots, my trench coat, my shades for extra bad-assery, and went to the garage to get my babies. Hank's my favorite, but I didn't want him to be lonely on the trip, so I picked up Charlie too.

I went through everything. Hank? Check. Charlie? Check. Got plenty of food for the two. Body armor? Check. Hah! This is gonna be fun. My other babies seemed sad to see me go but I told 'em I'd be back. With that I was ready to turn a dragon's head into swiss fucking cheese! Hahah! I flung Charlie and Hank over my back and walked out the front door.

I walked through the panicking ponies towards the giant tree they all called a library. Can this place get more sissified?!? I took a breath and kicked the fuckin' door open like I gave no shits. The six turned to look at the newcomer.

"I heard ya have an overgrown lizard problem."

The ponies glared at me. I know they got a problem with me. I can see it in their eyes. They look at me like that all the damn time. I told them I was going with them in Xavier's favor. They should thank him. They have a man to protect them from the big baddies they may come across. They told me what was going on. Their princess was sending these ponies up to a dragon's lair. The princess should be the one doing that shit! After the briefing, the ponies went their own ways to get ready. I was already.

We were outside, Purple Starbutt over there reading a map while Butterfly's trying to puss out and stay behind, but Starbutt wouldn't take any of it. Apparently Butterfly's good with animals. Probably frolics with chipmonks and bunnies. She'll get laughed at before she gets fried by the dragon. I'd say leave her wimpy ass behind and go on without her. She's slowing us down!

"Let's just leave her already! I got shit to do and nothing's getting done while we wait for Miss Shivers over there to grow a pair!"

The ponies glared at me as if I should give any fucks.

"Why don't you just go home already?!" said Speedy Skittles.

"Why don't you pick a hair color and stick with it!"

"Rainbow! Calm down. Xavier said it's just the way he is." Starbutt said. She turned to me. "We have to bring her because she's our best chance at getting the dragon to move peacefully."

I took out Michael and cocked him. This opened Speedy Skittles's eyes. I guess Xavier showed her what these things can do. "Who said it had to be peaceful? Why can't I just blow his fucking head off?!"

"We'd prefer to handle things in a civilized manner without such brutish methods." Said Diamond Butt.

"I get it. We need Miss Shivers. Got it."

"Fluttershy, you have to come with us. You're good with animals." Said Starbutt

"I don't... think I..."

I don't have time for this shit. I walked over there while putting both of my weapons on one side, picked up Miss Shivers and threw her over the other shoulder making her squeak. "Alright! Let's go! Move your asses!" I commanded impatiently, starting my way to the smoke-emitting mountain.

"Let go of her you plebeian!" demanded Diamond Butt.

"I said MOVE your ASSES I got other things I wanna do!!"

Purple Starbutt followed me. Atleast one of them can hear. "He's right. As questionable his attitude is, the sooner we move that dragon, the better."

"Thank you Starbutt!"

"It's Twilight Sparkle."

When we got to the mountain, Skittles tried to zip up to the top alone. That fucking moron. I was glad Applebutt suggested going together. I climbed the walls with Miss Shivers on my back. Eventually we made it across a gap that they had to jump across. Miss Shivers was practically begging me not to fall. All it took was one step for me. Are you fucking serious. Anyway, we continued walking. Shivers decided to walk since she didn't wanna be a burden. I let her down. She really wasn't that heavy. My babies weighed more than she did. I walked behind the ponies. Skittles flew under a tree that somehow grew up here. A leaf landed on Shiver's ass.

"AVALA-!"

Applebutt stuck her hoof in her mouth. I would've knocked her out. What happened next? She caused an actual fucking avalanche! She fucked up badly! Wanna know what happened next? We were running from the falling rocks. I ended up saving Starbutt from a large boulder. I got caught under the last boulder. It crushed my legs. The ponies didn't even notice... yet.

My blood curdling scream. got their attention. Applebutt and Skittles tried to pull me out by pulling my arms, but there was a giant fucking rock keeping me pinned!

"CUT MY LEGS OFF!!!" I begged. They refused! I guess they're just going to leave me here, pinned. They sure as hell weren't going to be able to pull me out from under the rock. "JUST DO IT! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME HERE!!!"

"Calm down! We're not going to cut your legs off!" Argued Starbutt. I guess they can't handle the sight of a little blood.

Starbutt and Diamondbutt both used their magicy horns to lift the boulder off of my legs. Right. I forgot. We're in a land full of magical ponies. Well, I couldn't walk. I crawled. I dragged myself on the ground, continuing on. I didn't look back. Of course I was trailing blood. Starbutt demanded that we take a rest. Good thing Shivers brought medical equipment. She tended to my legs. She did owe me after all since this was all her fucking fault. Xavier's too. He owes me a drink. She managed to stop the bleeding, but I was still crippled. Shivers offered me a 'hoof'.

"You sure you can take my weight, Shivers?" I was still mad at her.

"Well.. this is my fault after all.. it would only be right if i try... if...that's okay with you.."

Shivers is supposed to be the one to stop a fucking dragon... Bullshit. We got there after a while. Shivers was carrying me. If I have to give her credit for one thing, she was pretty damn fit. She could wrestle a bear if she wasn't a coward. We got there soon enough. I rolled off of her and set myself up behind a rock. Starbutt was giving orders. She told Skittles to clear the skies, ADHD to distract (She pulled out a rubber chicken), but when she told Applebutt to ready the apples, I had to say something.

"I'm the one with a real goddamn weapon! You're tellin her to shoot apples?!?"

I was ignored. Starbutt said that it wouldn't be necessary because Shivers could handle it. She wouldn't fight off a goddamn wet napkin! Starbutt went in alone while Shivers stuck her head in the ground like an ostrich. Spineless. Starbutt came back out and pulled her head out. Everyone then started trying to push the coward in.

"You have to do this now! Every second longer that dragon sleeps is another acre of Equestria that is covered in smoke!"

"I... I.. I can't go in the cave.." The coward spoke.

"Oh great. She's scared of caves now.." said Speedy Skittles

"I'm not afraid of caves... i'm afraid of..."

"What's that sugarcube?" Asked Appleutt

"I'MAFRAIDOFDRAGONS!" screamed the big filly.

"You wanna know why I'm up here?!?"

Everyone looked at me.

Skittles was the first to ask. "Why? You've been giving us nothing but making us all feel uncomfortable!"

"Xavier would be in my place right now if he was feeling well. He's sick! Cloudy skies causes him to get painful migranes! Sometimes to the point where it fucking blinds him!" This caught Skittle's attention. "And that damn dragon is the one making the clouds that's hurting him! Wanna know something else?! The guy sent me to make sure all of you came back safe!"

The ponies looked down. They should! "I'm like a soldier! I'm fighting for my folks back home that's unable to! I'll die on the battlefield for them. Can you say the same, Shivers?!?"

"I....can't... i'm sorry..." Shivers whispered.

The bitch was walking away! I sighed. I guess some of us were meant to be cowards. With that, we all tried to give it a shot. Starbutt went in first. She tried to reason with the dragon, but it turns out, the dragon's an ass! Diamond Butt went next, but only pissed it off by trying to pull the old flattering while shoplifting trick with his treasure. I'm starting to see why Xavier doesn't like this one... ADHD went in. Don't know what happened, but she came out a mess. Skittles attacked it. I reached for my babies. No... My legs are too fucked up. That would only get me killed. The ponies were pushed out by smoke and crashed against a nearby rock... the one with the coward hiding behind it with enough force to crack it. The dragon was about to finish them. Well, boys. It was nice knowing you.

I reached for my assault rifle, Hank. I was gonna go out using my favorite. Sorry Charlie. I aimed for the head and fired.

'RATATATTATATATATATATATATATAT'

The dragon only flinched at the bullets. Man his scales must be hard as a tank's armor! I got his attention though. Well, while he's munching on my burnt corpse, that should buy the others enough time to book it. I grinned at my impending doom. Another thing soldiers fight and die for would be their fellow soldiers.

"How....dare...you..."

Well, no regrets, besides coming to this girly sissified hell-hole.

"How dare you!!!"

The coward does have a higher volume.

"Listen here mister! Just because you're big, doesnt mean you get to be a bully!"

She's in the dragon's face!

"You may have huge teeth and sharp scales snores smoke and breathes fire, but you do not, i repeat, you do NOT! HURT! MY! FRIENDS!!!"

Holy mother of God! I lowered my shades at the sight.

"You got that?" The dragon winced. "Well?!"

"But that rainbow one hit me. And the monkey chucked rocks at me." The dragon spoke.

"HEY!" I yelled. He just called me a fuckin monkey!

"And I'm very sorry about that!" She said.

"I'M NOT!" She shot me a look. I got the message.

She continued. "But you're bigger than they are and you should know better!" Wait... so by her logic, that Giant Baby Star Bear from a few days ago should've known better than to cause all that damage just because it was bigger? I think I'm gonna question her on that later. "You should also know better than to take a nap when your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures."

"But I-"

"Don't you 'But I' me, mister! Now what do you have to say for yourself?" The dragon said nothing. "I said what do you have to say for yourself?!"

I thought I'd seen everything. I was then watching a dragon breaking down, crying. Holy shit! He just shamed dragons everywhere in every plane of existence. Every dragon! Alduin looks down on you and shake his head, sir.

"There there, no need to cry." Cry over my broken legs! "You're not a bad dragon." Say that when I can walk! "You just made a bad decision." A very fucking bad one that caused my friend's little brother a headache, and not to mention MY FUCKING LEGS ARE BROKEN! "Now go pack your things. You just need to find a new place to sleep.That's all."

And with that, the dragon was off and the sky cleared up. I put my weapons over my shoulder before I lied down on my back. I was getting weak. The bleeding's stopped, but I still lost a lot of blood. I'm surprised I didn't black out sooner. Shivers and the others galloped towards me shortly before I passed out.

-Xavier's POV-

I was asleep for what seemed to be hours. The headache was gone. I looked out of the window and the skies were clear.

"Hey there monkey boy. Finally awake?" I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey Skittles. I take it things went well with the dragon and no one got hurt?" I asked.

"Yeah, well, Jeff's legs got broken while saving Twilight but he's in the hospital healing up right now." Rainbow confessed. "I wish you were there instead of him. He's a jerk! All he could say to Fluttershy was 'Ya did good in the end but you cost me my legs.'" She did a poor impersonation of Jeff.

"He's a headstrong gung-ho manly man. It's kinda how he is. Besides, think about it. This is a big step for the big guy. He complimented a pony, and an easily fearful one at that. One thing he hates more than feminine males are you know. The coward types."

"Fluttershy's not a coward! Did you see her today?! She talked down a dragon!" Rainbow said.

"I personally don't think she's a coward. She did try to take a hit for my sister once. Remember? I'm just saying, I sorta predicted what he'd think of Flutters. That's all." I scratched behind her ears for reinsurance measures.

"Yeah, well, I still think you would've made better company for us." She flew onto my bed and sat in front of me.

"Right. Your friends are probably still mad at me over the Trixie thing. Especially Rarity, not that I care." I really didn't.

"You were right about us though. Besides, Jeff told us what you did and why you did it. You really do care about us, don't you?" She asked, getting closer.

To ruin the moment, I asked. "Is Rainbow Dash, fastest most awesomest flier in Equestria, going mushy on me?"

"Pssh! Yeah right monkey boy! I just missed ya, that's all."

I grabbed her head and pulled her into a headlock hug. "I missed ya too, Dash."

Author's Note

That's Chapter 9 everyone with even more references! See if you can find them all. Writing this chapter was hard! Jeff is kinda narrow-minded. That might change though throughout the story. Me not being narrow minded made it difficult. Also, towards the end, I put it back to Xavier's POV. If someone passes out, can't really do much else with them.

I'll be skipping "Look before you sleep" because I don't see in any way I could fit any of the current humans in the episode. Maybe if Bri was as old as Jack or the others yeah, but I'm not going to put a guy who's 13 or older in a slumber party. It's not realistic.

Leave a comment on your thoughts, and a thumbs up if you liked it. I've started working on the next chapter already.

Next up: It's the hood, isn't it?

Chapter 10: It's the hood, isn't it?

Saturday 10/17

-Xavier's POV-

Recap -

It's been a little over a week since my six pony friends and Jeff came back from what I now dub, 'Dragon Mountain'. Jeff is alright, but he is in a wheelchair. Funny thing, it hasn't been invented yet. Whenever a pony gets injured, he/she gets healed in the hospital with magic spells slash medicine, so they heal faster. Unfortunately for us non-magical humans, we are from Earth, a planet in a dimension that has no magic. Somehow, that means that magic doesn't effect us as much and most spells don't work on us. Twi said something about the body not being born of magic or some magical science mumbo jumbo. Anyway, Bro, Hiroto and I put our heads together, drew the blue prints, and eventually went each way to gather materials. We ended up splitting up. I went to Sweet Apple Acres to get more unusable wood from the Apples (Big Mac helped me that time as AJ was still uneasy with me after being publicly called out during the Trixie incident) and to get stuff from Nutz and Boltz. Hiroto went to the local blacksmith and gave the blueprints for the seats frame and wheel. Bro and I chipped in a few bits to pay the guy. It took a few days for him to make everything. We put everything together. Bro went to the furnature store to get pillows to cushion the seat while the blacksmith was busy. After everything was done, we put the pieces together, and Jeff had a wheelchair. He was able to move around while being healed. Ponies had no use for wheel chairs, but the little ones did find riding on Jeff's lap fun. I think he has a soft spot for kids, or maybe it's his state.

A couple of days later, Jack managed to get AJ to talk to me again. I mean, she stopped giving me the death glare ever since they returned from Dragon Mountain since she knew I cared and all, but she was still mad at me calling her out on her flaws in front of everyone. Apparently Jack used her own element against her. "I told her that you were being honest with her being a hypocrite, and she couldn't honestly deny it." he told me. Well played, Jack. Really clever. This led her apologizing. Now all that's left is Rarity. To be honest, she can stay mad at me. I won't have to hear her whining around me. She's a whiner. She complains. She's a bitch who doesn't wanna get her hooves dirty, she's a proud hypocrite, oh and you can add thief to the list. Jeff told me what she did. That made me glad I wasn't there. I might have lost it and threw her off the cliff. Spike forgot about the entire thing once he was done with his punishment a few days ago. Well, I guess that's cool. Dash Pinks and I were pulling pranks again yesterday. Hell, when Jack was done, he even joined us. Because why not? We all had our inner trolls that needed to be fed. I went up on Rarity a little bit that time. I threw a balled up scarf through her window. It had Winona's landmine wrapped in it (Yes. Jack helped me with this one.) It wasn't until after we pranked Twilight with an airhorn did we hear Rarity's scream. It was a fun day yesterday.

-Recap over-

This morning was once again, uneventful. The same old morning routine; eat, bathroom, everything else. I looked at the lists of requests for today and marked off the ones I was going to do. The rest, I left for Jack and Bro. The first thing on my list was to help Bonbon put together a new stall that she can drag around ponyville to where all of the customers are. Smart idea. I was a bit hesitant. The mint green unicorn, Lyra Heartstrings. She snuck into our house one night. I remember waking up with her rubbing my hands against her face. Bonbon assured me it wouldn't happen again. Anywhoozle, I was walking over to Bonbon's when I noticed that fine morning, Ponyville was awfully quiet and deserted looking. That was until I saw Twilight walking around Town Square with Spike on her back.

"Where is everypony?" She asked.

I decided to follow them.

"Is it some sort of pony holiday?" Spike said.

"Not that I know of." Twlight responded

"Maybe my breath stinks?" Spike said, blowing his green fire breath.

"Not more than usual." She said. Spike got burned!!!

"Is it... Zombies?!?" Spike said, a bit worried.

"Eh, not very likely." I took this as my opportunity. My inner troll needed breakfast today. I rolled my eyes upwards as I started running towards them, my arms flailing like a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAARHWAAAAAAARGH!!!"

This scared the living shit out of the unicorn and dragon. I couldn't help but to laugh.

"Xavier!" Twilight yelled. I couldn't really catch my breath. "That's real mature! Spike is just a-"

"Twilight!" Twilight was cut off. "Spike! Xavier!"

We looked towards the noise coming from Sugarcube Corner and saw Pinkie, whisper-yelling at us.

"Come here! Hurry! Before she gets you!"

Well, I know one thing for sure. If Pinkie Pie is spooked, we should all be. I hurried in behind Twilight only to be met with a flashlight.

"Who exactly are we hiding from this time? Last time it was me."

"What are you doing here alone in the dark?" Twilight continued.

"I'm not here alone in the dark." She shined the light around us revealing five more ponies plus human in the room. Apple Bloom and Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy along with my sister Brianna. She along with the ponies were hiding.

"Okay, what are all of you doing here in the dark?" Twilight asked.

"We're hiding from her!" Applejack said, opening the curtains. There was a lone pony wearing a cloak with a hood over her head. She seemed to be digging for something. That was until she looked over in our direction. Everyone but me and Twilight ducked for cover.

"Didja see her Twilight? Didja see Zecora?"

"Who?"

"Apple Bloom! Ah told ya not ta say that name!"

"She just turned her head." I said, staring at them.

Pinkie zipped up to me. "Evily this way!"

"And then the bunch of you flip out for no reason."

"No good reason? You call protectin your kin no good reason?"

Apparently, these ponies all ran away from the poor pony out there at first sight. The first thing they did was run in here and hide, just like they did when I walked into town.

"She's mysterious." Said Fluttershy.

"Sinister" Said Dashie

"And Spoooooky!" Pinkie emphasized.

"It's the hood, isn't it?" I asked, giving them all the Damon Gant stare afterwards.

As if this Zecora could hear me, she removed her hood revealing her to be a zebra with large gold earrings, neckbraces, and bracelets. How much do you wanna bet she has an African accent? Everyone gasped.

"Will you cut that out?!" Twilight said, just as annoyed as I was.

"Just look at those stripes! So garish!" Rarity said, to my chagrin.

"She's a zebra." Both Twilight and I said in unison.

"A what?!?" Everyone asked. Twilight looked at me, confused.

"You have zebras on your world too?"

"Yup. They can't talk either. They live far from where I live though in a continent called Africa."

"That's interesting. And Rarity, the stripes aren't a fashion sense, it's what she was born with."

Rarity fainted.

"That makes you a racist too, Rarity." I narrowed my eyes at the marshmallow colored mare. I hit the nail right on the head with that one.

"I am not!"

"Born where? Ah never seen a pony like that in these parts, except her." She said fearful.

"She's probably not from here. And she's not a pony. My book say zebras came from a far away land, but I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?"

"That's just it." Applejack said. "She lives in the Everfree Forest!"

Just then, Spike knocked over a lot of pots and pans trying to get some snacks, scaring the shit out of everyone.

"Spike!"

"Sorry." Spike said sheepishly.

"The everfree forest is unnatural!" Applejack continued. "The plants grow."

"Hm. Kinda like Earth."

"The animals care for themselves."

"Like Earth."

"And the clouds move..." Said Rainbow

"ALL ON THEIR OWN!!" they all finished.

Rarity fainted again. Drama queen...

"Like Earth."

All eyes were on me.

Rainbow was the first to ask. "What do you mean?"

"My world is called Earth. Plants grow by themselves, clouds move by themselves, the Sun and moon moves by themselves. Wild animals take care of themselves. Either feed off of plants or other animals. No weather control, no raising and lowering the moon. Everything happens by itself."

There were even more talks about how evil she was. Pinkie wrote a song about it. It scaring Applejack to no end. Apple Bloom looked unphased through the entire ordeal. I was pretty much tuning everything out until Twilight asked the number one question.

"Tell me, what exactly have you seen Zecora do?"

"Well, once a month, she comes into Ponyville." Dash said. Did she come last month?

"OOOH!" she shouted with sarcasm.

"Then she lurks the stores."

"OH MY!" she said with false drama

"And then she digs at the ground."

"GOOD GRACIOUS!!" she said, making fun of them. I was trying my best to hold back my laughter. Seems like Twilight has an inner troll too.

"Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she just comes to town to visit?"

"Yeah, maybe she's just tryin to be neighborly?"

"And maybe she's not lurking around the stores. She's going to them. Lurk free! To do some shopping?"

"Makes sense to me."

"Yeah, everypony likes to shop! You know what I think?"

"Apple Bloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk!"

"Woah! Rude!" Brianna intervened

"Us big ponies are talkin!" Applejack told her.

"Apple Bloom and Twilight both have points, Applejack." I said, irritated. "It's kinda messed up when you just downright dismiss a claim just because it came from a seven year old." Applejack shot me another look, but I didn't flinch. I knew deep down, I was right, again. She saw this and motioned me to the kitchen area. I decided to humor her.

"You're gonna stop doin' that or we won't get along." Applejack warned.

"Stop doing what? Calling you out on your wrong doings? I'm pretty sure Jack would do the same thing if he were here." I explained.

"And yer not gonna undermine me in front of my sister!" She exclaimed

"Fine. I'll let you push her away on your own, Miss Know-it-all." I said in my 'not give a shit' tone.

I walked back to the entrance when Applejack noticed Applebloom was gone.

"Where's Apple Bloom?!?"

"The door's open!" Fluttershy pointed out.

"She went outside!" Said Rarity

"And Zecora's still out there!" Dashie exclaimed.

"That silly lil filly! I told her to stay put!" went Applejack.

I shook my head at AJ and went after them. I told Brianna to stay behind with Spike. We crossed Jeff and Jack on the way there. They decided to join us to help look for the runaway Apple Bloom. We found her in the Everfree Forest going after the Zecora.

"Apple Bloom! You get back here right now!" Applejack demanded.

The zebra then turned around to all of us. "Beware! Beware you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!" She spoke in an African accent. Called it!

"You keep your creepy mumbo jumbo to yerself, ya here?!" yelled Applejack as she scooped up her sister.

"Applejack, that's racist!" I scolded. "Just because she's bla- I mean a zebra doesn't mean she uses voodoo or whatever!"

"That's a zebra?!" Jack said.

"Yup. Black and white stripes. Rarity thinks it's garish." I continued.

"Oh Rarity, you're such a racist." Jack teased.

Rarity gasped again. "I am NOT a racist!"

"Beware! Beware!"

"Yeah, back at ya, Zecora! You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!"

Applejack looked back at her sister. "And you! Why couldn't you listen to yer big sister?"

Apple Bloom stuttered.

"You're partly to blame too, Applejack." I turned around to head back. "Keep this up, it's gonna turn around to bite you." I walked off. I could feel her eyes burning through the back of my neck. I didn't care. I just walked home with Jack and Jeff in tow. The rest of the day went pretty average til night time.

Sunday 10/18

I woke up the next morning to a woman screaming. It came from the bathroom. I got up and went to the bathroom and that's when I saw her.

She was a tall blonde human female looking at herself in the mirror. I haven't seen anything curvier. She looked like she was sized double D that was having a hard time fitting inside of her tank top. Holy fuck this chick was fucking hot!!! I opened my mouth to say 'Who are you.'

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum gurl you be lookin fine up in herr! Who you is?" I said instead. I covered my mouth. What the hell?

"IT'S JEFF YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!!!" She responded Holy shit, she's wearing Jeff's clothes... and she's not in a wheelchair.

"Oooooh shit! Hold up!!! Hold up!! Its about to get down in here! How in da hell did you turn into a fine piece of ass?" I didn't wanna say but said anyway.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!?" She asked.

"Da fuck if I know, bruh! I sound like I be belongin in da hood, mang! This shit's be fuckin stereotypical."

Trae came out of his room trying to find out what the commotion was about, but then he saw female Jeff. "Who are you?"

"Yo man, dis shit's be crazy, dawg, you don't even know! That fine ass hoe be Jeff!" I covered my mouth again. I just called Jeff a hoe! She gave me a death glare.

Bro stared at me talking like I'm from the streets, and then stared at the hottie wearing Jeff's clothes. He went back to his room, closed the door, and locked it.

"Yo man you know me dawg, you know I don't be goin around and callin fine girls hoe and all dat, man somethin be wrong up in dis bitch!"

"Guys... just shut up and let me mope in misery..." A third voice said from downstairs.

"Jack?" Jeff and I went downstairs. Instead of meeting with my usual Spikey haired outgoing and cheerful best friend, I was met with a droopy haired shy emo guy in Jack's clothing.

"What do you guys want?" He asked in a depressing tone.

"Oh hell naw! This some fucked up shit right here, man! You aint goin emo on me are ya?"

That's when we heard a hard thunk against our door.

"Dafuck?" I said as I went to the door and opened it. It was Rainbow Dash. She was on the ground, dizzy. "Ey gurl watcha want?"

"Xavier! I dunno what happened! My wings were upside down when I woke up! Something's wrong with Pinkie too! I think we've been cursed!" She looked at me. "You seem normal though."

"Yo they aint nothin normal about dis shit, cuz!" I told her.

"You're talkin funny." She looked past me and saw Jeff. She then looked back at me. "Who's she?! Is she somepony you felt the need to hide from me?! Huh?! Explain yourself! Who is she?!"

"Yo, bitch, you need to chill the fuck out, gon be comin up in here talkin ta me like dat, who da fuck you think you is?!"

Jeff came up behind me. "Don't worry, Skittles, it's me. Jeff. And yes I'm a fucking woman now.." He calls her that too?

"Why am I alive?" Jack mumbled, walking past us and out the door.

"What's his deal?" Rainbow asked.

"Gurl I dunno but shits be fucked up." I told her.

"We should go to Twilight. She gotta know how to fix this!" Rainbow said in a worried tone.

"Lead the way, Skittles." Jeff said.

Rainbow tried to fly, but she ended up crashing again. Jeff suggested she stay grounded. While on the way to the library, I noticed Jeff was getting a lot of looks from stallions. A few started following her. Her boobs wouldn't stop bouncing. I started to chuckle. I heard a huff from in front of me. I looked at Dash and she was giving me a glare that could kill. I turned around. There were 6 stallions tailing us.

"If you pansy ass fucking ponies do not stop following me, I will kick all of your asses!" Said Jeff.

"Yeah, man what da fuck is yalls problems man, yall some thirsty -n word-, man get da fuck back!"

When the stallions dispersed, I focused ahead of me.

"Ey Dash, man yo ass lookin ripe as fuck, gurl!" I covered my mouth. Why did I just say that?!

Rainbow's head snapped forward. I could see her head turn red as she started to speed up a bit.

"Ey gurl I'm just sayin!"

"Xavier, just shut the fuck up." Jeff said.

"Aight, girl, aight. Don't be gettin yo titties in a bunch." This earned me a death glare from both Dash and Jeff. I can see why Jeff's pissed, but Dash?

We made it to the library. Everyone else was already there. Pinkie had a giant blue-spotted tongue. Rarity had too much hair, Applejack was the size of a cockroach, standing on Apple Bloom's back. Fluttershy sounded like Barry White. Everyone looked at me and the other two humans. People could visually see what was wrong with Jack. Spike walked up to Jeff.

"Hey uh you look nice. What's your name?" He asked, giving her the same look he usually gave Rarity. Oh boy...

"Not interested, kid. It's Jeff. The one that had you in a hardhat." Jeff said. Spike jerked back, doing a double take.

"Holy moley! Jeff! You're a beauty! You look more beautiful than Rari-uuuh...." Spike caught himself before he said something he'd regret. I couldn't see Rarity's face. I wanted to, but her shaggy mane was covering her entire head. That's when everyone turned to me.

"Xavier, what about you? You seem normal." Twilight asked

"Trust me Twilight, you don't wanna know." said Dashie.

Twilight ignored her, getting uncomfortably close, especially with her horn...

"Gurl if you dont get yo floppy dick lookin horn outa my face wit that shit?!" I unintentionally said, covering my mouth after everyone cringed. Jeff and Dash were the only ones laughing.

Applejack glared at me again. "You kiss yer mother with that mouth? There are children here!"

"Bitch dont be lookin at me like that! I'll stomp yo ass!" I covered my mouth again. "My bad!" I didn't want to say anything else. That was until she said something.

"Such barbaric behavior! Such vulgar language!" said Rarity

Dash covered Apple Bloom's ears.

"Bitch yo shaggy dog lookin ass! How much you pay for yo haircut? 20 bits? You paid 18 too much, wit yo caterpillar lookin ass, bitch imma throw dirt on you and make you faint! Over there lookin like you belong on a fuckin mop!"

"OKAY!" Twilight intervened "I think we all know what's wrong with Xavier."

"He's rude!" Rarity said, sounding like she's crying.

Jeff looked at me. "Alright. Don't talk."

"Aight! Aight." I said.

"I think we'll find the cure to this curse at Zecora's place!" Dash said.

"It's not a curse!" Twilight argued.

Applejack spoke up next "Ah agree with Dash! Well go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!"

"It's not a hex either!"

They bickered for a moment. I wanted to say something so bad, but I knew something else would come out. I noticed Apple Bloom walking out and followed her, leaving them to bicker. I followed her to the Everfree forest. Man, she was fast. Upon entering, she stopped. I just saw Applejack pop out of her mane.

"Turn around right now, missy!" I heard her say.

"No!" Apple Bloom responded.

"NO?!? You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister!" Applejack stated.

She was then tossed into the air and caught by her little sister's mouth before being set on a branch.

"Sorry Applejack, but Ah'm the big sister now." Apple Bloom said smugly as she left her there.

"Apple Bloom! You come right back here this instant! Ahm gonna tell Big Macintosh on you!!" She screamed on the top of her lungs.

I decided to troll. I leaned my head in front of Applejack, shook my head, and followed her little sister. I hope Applejack learned her lesson. I soon caught up to Apple Bloom. I put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped. I put my finger over my mouth, and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled at me and continued to Zecora's. We soon found a hut that looked like one from an African tribe. I say again, CALLED IT! There were masks all over. We knocked on the door. The zebra opened the door quickly, pulled Apple Bloom inside, and closed the door on me. I heard voices inside, but eventually the door opened and the zebra came out.

She inspected me for a bit. "My my, what have we here. An unknown creature who caused me quite a fear."

I simply shrugged.

"I have been to many places, from and to, but I have never met a creature such as you."

I smiled. I didn't wanna talk because it might give a bad first impression.

"A ferocious creature such of your self is shy? Are you afraid? I don't know why."

"He says mean and weird things when he talks. Somethin happened to him, mah sister and her friends."

"I have an idea what may have caused this to be. You, creature. Your tongue I must see."

I stuck out my tongue. Hm. Didn't notice the blue spots.

"I know what's wrong with you and your pony folk. They have been effected by the blue flowers, poison joke."

In rhyme, she explained that we had walked into a plants with blue pedals. They are like poison oak, but with different results. Like nature was playing a prank on us. So she had me gather ingredients. She was about to ask Apple Bloom to do it, but I wouldn't let a kid go out there alone. She was gonna stay there with Zecora. She just told me to gather a few ingredients. It didn't take long. I guess I remembered my way back. When I got back however, the ponies were peeking through the window, talking about how she has Apple Bloom under a curse.

"Da fuck yall talkin about?" Everyone screamed in shock, even Jeff. "It aint no gotdamn curse! Yall talkin like a bunch of crazy people who's lost their gotdamn minds. Someone need to go upside yo heads! Move out my way!" I went inside, followed by the others.

That's when everything was explained. Not only did everyone apologize to Zecora for judging a book by its cover, but he cure was brewed and hell, Jack even made AJ apologize to Apple Bloom for getting angry at her open-mindedness. We all bathed at the spa with the 'curing salts'. Jeff had to cover her top before she bathed. After a while, he didn't need to cover himself anymore for he was a manly man once again. I didn't tell him that I snuck a few pictures of him while he was R63'd. I'll never forget what the anatomy of a grown human female supermodel looks like. Good thing guys will never think about going through other guy's phones. I apologized to everyone for the things I've said and explained to them that whenever I tried to say one thing, something else came out. Even Applejack seemed to have understood. One thing was certain, I was so glad I was no longer talking like a thug. I'm also glad Jack isn't a downer anymore, his hair taking its usual shape. Everyone was back to normal.

After our bath, Dash followed me, Jeff, and Jack home. Dash was a bit quiet. I was going to have to talk to her. Everyone else went to the living room, but I motioned her to come upstairs with me. We both went in our rooms and sat on our beds. She was sitting all the way on the other side, her fore hooves crossed.

"Is there an issue?"

"Oh I dunno, you were eyeing Jeff and taking pictures of him with that thing of yours when he was a female! It's nothing, really!"

"Rainbow, are you jealous?" I asked.

"It's because I'm not human, isn't it?!"

"Dash, are you jealous?"

"NO! Maybe.. Just..." I placed a finger over her mouth.

"You're jealous, aren't ya?" I teased.

"No! Stop it! Like I'd be jealous of Jeff!" She gave out a rather forced laugh. There's only one way to get true emotions out of girls like her.

"Look. I won't lie. I have thought about it. I don't know how it'll work. I mean, you're a pony. A quadruped at that. I never thought a pony would fall for me."

I could see tears falling from her eyes. Not to mention her ears drooped to her side. She was giving me the sad puppy eyes. Yup. She liked me. She really did have a thing for me. All this time, and I couldn't see it. Lucky for her, I wasn't finished.

"However. Looking at Jack and AJ, they're making it work and they've been making it work for about a month now. I think you deserve a chance. Not only that, but I'm a bit curious myself what it's like to be with a pony. So why the hell not?"

Before I knew it, I was pinned on my back, Rainbow glaring down at at me. Her face then turned into a teary eyed smile.

"You're a jerk, monkey boy, you know that?" She said.

"I guess I'm your jerk then, Skittles."

We then shared the first kiss in our relationship. Should've closed the door. I caught Bro peeking from his door. I saw him. He saw me see him. He closed the door, startling Dash. The only thing I heard from the other side being:

"Nope!"

Author's Note

And that's it with Chapter 10. Yeah, I had a little fun with this one. But hey, it's rated M for mature for a reason. As you know, the Roberts siblings are all black. However, they are far from the stereotypes.

Now Xavier and Dash are to be considered in a relationship. It's more of a casual relationship though.

Yes, I'm thinking about putting herding in this story. However, it'll be monogamous until I can think of a way for it to not turn into Pokemon. "Gotta catch 'em all!" I'm gonna make things more realistic than that.

Also, I'm going to switch some of the episodes around for my own reason.

Anyway, leave a thumbs up if you liked it and a comment on what you think of things so far.

Next up: Dash vs AJ.

Chapter 11: I bet my mare can beat your mare.

Friday 11/27

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

Since Rainbow and I started dating about a month ago, things had ups and downs. Turns out I have made a few enemies that had eyes for Rainbow. I've had the unpleasantry of meeting one of them. What was his name, Fire Storm? Red pegasus stallion, black mane and tail with yellow highlights. Burning cloud as a cutiemark? What' his talent? He threw a piece of hail at me one day and threw a few ape-related insults my way. I just gave him the finger and walked the other way. I found out his deal when I asked Rainbow about him. I learned his name and relation to her. Apparently he's had a thing for her for years, or as Rainbow puts it, "That stallion has been fawning over me for years, and a few others ever since I became one of the elements. I don't blame 'em. I'm pretty awesome. Don't worry. I am the Element of Loyalty and you won me over first, monkey boy." That was reassuring from her, just not for the unknown number of enemies that were after her. I'm not too worried, but worried enough to carry a weapon on me. Who knows how crazy jealousy can turn stallions.

There have been a few double dates. Jack and I would take our mares out to places to eat or on picnics or whatever. They weren't all that comfortable with it. The other mares would sometime joke on them about their stallions taking them out. Apparently, in most Equestria, gender roles are reversed here. Only in Canterlot are the roles the same. Not because mares are physically stronger built than stallions. Males here win that round as well. It's just that there are five times more females here than there are males. The only place that actually have a close male/female ratio is Canterlot. That's the name of that huge palace sitting on top of a mountain. However, Jack and I are constantly reminding other ponies that it's the other way around where we're from. This got us two, along with the male humans that weren't there, a lot of attention. I saw Rainbow getting jealous again, and she wasn't the only one. AJ was shooting mean looks to anyone who looked at Jack in a hungry notion. They told both of us to stop telling everyone that. Rainbow was more clear "I just got you and I don't wanna share yet!" Yeah, I got enough attention from being an alien, I don't think I need anymo- Wait... what does she mean, 'yet?' Applejack seems to be holding a hidden grudge against me ever since I made her apologize to Apple Bloom. I wonder how she'd behave if Big Mac was the one that showed her up.

I have noticed that my phone went missing after Dash and I started dating. Two culprits came to mind. No, it's not Dash. I showed her its functions already, movies, games she needed fingers to play, but she just wasn't interested. One would be the pony that snuck into my house before, Lyra. The other being Twilight. I don't think she stole it, but the last time I saw it was when I went to the library. I probably left it there and she saw it. I sent her a letter saying if she found it to let me know and not to take it apart for study. I wrote that part in red ink and underlined it four times.

An interesting thing also happened last week. Jeff and I were at Sugarcube Corner for lunch. Jeff insisted that he bring his fish sandwich even though we were headed to a bakery. He said he needed some meat on his bones. That's just him. Flutteshy came in with these Navi-with-a-face looking bugs. Pinkie was a bit disturbed by them. However, those bugs ended up making one fatal mistake. They ate and completely ruined Jeff's lunch. In a relatively short moment, the 'Parasprites' as Pinkie called them, were gone. Pinkie said it was all for the better. Still, I don't think Fluttershy will be talking to Jeff for a while.

-Recap Over-

Brianna and Pinkie were playing Tennis on the Wii U. Jack and I just watched while talking to each other about guy stuff or just random things, like what our parents would think of us dating alien equines. Fluttershy was there.

"Could you tell me about the ponies from your world? ...If it's okay with you that is." She asked.

"Well in appearance, their eyes are way smaller than yours. Their faces are longer..." I started off.

"They're uglier too. You mares here are cute beauts." Jack added, causing Fluttershy to blush and hide behind her mane.

"And they only come in a few colors and patterns. No wings, no cutie marks, no horns, no magic. Can't talk either. Some are black, some are white, some are brown, tan, but that's about it. Oh, and all they know how to do is eat, poop, walk. Pretty much animals." I said.

"Oh... is that why Jeff calls us names?" She asked.

"Nah. Jeff's like that because he believes magical ponies and unicorns are for little sissy girls. His mind is a bit narrow though. That might change, but it'll probably take a while." I told her. "You ponies are like every little girls wish. Kinda like how girls want doll collections."

"Oh.."

"I thought you were still mad at Jeff for killing those parasprites right in front of you." Jeff said.

Fluttershy looked down. "I think i can forgive him... Pinkie said it was for the best... no matter.. how cute and fluffy they were.." She squeaked and started tearing up at the painful memories.

"They would've eaten all of our food, then Twilight would've tried to stop it by making them not hungry for food making them hungry for anything that wasn't food like our homes and Twilight's books and Rarity's clothes and everything that wasn't food!" Pinkie said, all in one breath!

We all stared at Pinkie or a moment. What is she on?

"Well. I'm glad a crisis was averted. Don't know what we'd do if anything happened to our home, ya know? It's kinda all we have left of... you know."

Fluttershy nodded her head. I heard a knock on my door. Either Dashie here to see me, AJ here to see Jack, Twilight or Lyra. I can't imagine it being anyone else, considering every other pony only stops by to make requests. They don't really need to knock on the door. They just sign a chart and write a request. Just a little system Bro thought of. I went to the door and opened it. It was Dash and Applejack.

"Hey Xavier!"

"Hey Rainbow, what's up?"

"Xavier." Applejack said, as if unhappy to see me. Guess she's still mad at me. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Applejack!" Jack rushed past me and spun-hugged Applejack, who seemed to lighten up a little.

Rainbow looked at me expectantly.

"Nah, you're too awesome for that." I teased

She pouted when I said that.

"Woah, Miss Air Stunt. Didn't say I didn't have anything for ya." I scratched behind her ears. She loved it, a lot.

Applejack looked at Jack expectantly.

"So, Dash. What are you and AJ doing here?"

"Applejack and I challenged each other to an Iron Pony Competition and I want you to watch me beat Applejack." Rainbow answered.

"Yeah right. Ah'm better than you and you know it!" Jack's mare exclaimed.

"Well, how about this. The loser of this Iron Pony Competition will have to do something embarrassing." I said.

"Yeah! If Rainbow loses, which she will against my Applejack, you ride her all around Ponyville, all saddled up." Jack declared

I gave Jack the Damon Gant stare.

"No way!" Dash's blush told us that she was way uncomfortable with the idea.

"Why not? Ya scared?" AJ taunted.

"Fine! When I beat you, Jack will have to ride you all over Ponyville the same way." Rainbow countered.

"Deal!"

"So there we have it. Loser gets ridden by her coltfriend all around Ponyville."

Both mares spat on their hooves and shook on it.

I looked at Jack. "This day had just gotten interesting." Jack nodded his head in agreement.

Jack and I followed our mares to AJ's family orchard. We met up with Twilight and Spike there too. They wanted to know what was going on. We filled them in while leaving out the bet. I guess we both wanted to see what would happen when one of them lost. AJ asked Twilight to be the judge of the competition. Seems more fair than asking either me or Jack to be, because we're too close to the competitors. We arrived to where everything was set up, from obstacle courses to score boards and tents. Spike was playing announcer when everypony else came. I say 'everypony' because just the pony friends came. My bro and his friends were busy, and I'm guessing Brianna was still at home with Jonathan and Hiroto. Jeff was helping build an expansion on someone's house. Jack and I were the only humans there.

The first challenge was the Barrel Run. The ponies had to run around and in between the barrels from the start to finish without touching the barrels. Applejack was first. Jack and I decided to start placing bets. I bet Rainbow Dash would win this one. She is agile and dexterous. Jack said that if she used her wings, she'd probably knock over a barrel or two. Oh Jack. Just start giving me the bits now.

AJ took off running, dodging each and every barrel. Well, almost. She nicked one near the end.

"Seventeen seconds!" Spike said

"You're kiddin'! That breaks my record for last year's rodeo!"

"But you got a five second penalty for nudging the barrel."

I looked at Jack with a smug look on my face. He just Murphy'd himself. He tried hard to not look at me.

"She still has to beat twenty two seconds you know. And who's to say she won't knock over a few barrels herself?" Jack said, holding on to his bits.

Just then, Dash was up. Just as I predicted, she zipped through those barrels without even a fur or feather hitting one of them. Jack's jaw dropped as I popped the bits out of his hand and caught 'em. 18 seconds. And that's one for Rainbow, zilch for AJ. The next challenge was the ring-the-bell challenge. I was a bit concerned with this one. Applejack had more bucking strength than Dashie. All Dash ever did was buck clouds all day and perform stunts. Applejack actually bucked solid objects for a living. Dash went first and rung the bell though, so maybe they both would get a point.

NOPE!!!

Of course Applejack had to destroy the bell and get the point. Next was the 'Bronco Buck.' Whoever could get the rider off the fastest would win. Twilight was about to make Spike the rider, but then Applejack looked over in my direction.

"How 'bout we make this interestin'. I try to buck off Xavier while you try to buck off my coltfriend." Oh, so now we get to win a point for our girlfriends. Nice. Jack went up to Rainbow Dash and looked over at Applejack.

"I'm gonna win this for you, babe!" He said. In response, Applejack blushed and threw him her stetson.

"Here ya go, cowboy!" She said to him.

I looked at Jack for a moment as he mounted Rainbow. He really looked like he belonged in a rodeo.

"You better win this for me, monkey boy!" yelled Dash, giving me a wink.

"So, wanna get this over with?" I said, turning back to Appleja-

...

Shit... For a moment, I had completely forgotten about the major grudge she has against me. And she saw this as an opportunity to give me hell and earn points by doing so and took it. C'mon, what would Jack say to calm a mare down?

"Uh... For what it's worth-"

"Ya ain't sorry yet, butcha will be." She said, chuckling maliciously. Yup. She was after my blood. I prayed to God, hoping to have a nice room for me in heaven before hopping on this psychotic farm mare. As soon as Twilight said "Go!" I hung on for dear life. Applejack wasn't being merciful. She was giving her all. Atleast I was wearing boxer briefs that day or else I would be crying. My scream, putting Carlton Banks to shame, was all she needed to hear and was not letting up. Neither was I, because as soon as I let go, I knew she was gonna give me a taste of her hind hooves. No thanks. My focus was 100 percent on not letting go. I didn't even notice a flying Jack zipping over my head and out of the little rodeo.

"STOP! STOP! DASH WON THE CHALLENGE ALREADY!" I screamed.

She didn't stop. She wanted me to suffer. I made sure she didn't buck me off of her. I ended up jumping off to her side. My groin might not have hurt as much as it would have, but it still hurt. It was funny to everyone else except for Jack who was pulling his head out of a hay stack, and Dashie who was giving AJ a nasty look. Regardless, Dash won the point and helped me back to the benches.

Next, was the roping competition. Applejack wanted to use me again, but Dash caught on to her game this time and rejected the idea. Poor poor Spike was the one to be roped in my place. He looked pretty hilarious, standing there with a viking helmet. Needless to say, Applejack won that one, and a few ponies had to help untie Dashie from a tree branch.

The games went on as it drew more attention from the mares and stallions of Ponyville. Seats and clouds started filling up. AJ and Dash were trying hard. However, that was until Rainbow started using her wings to cheat. I didn't really know that it was against the rules to use magic or wings during an iron pony competition, but neither did anyone else. Dash was getting a lot of points, eventually being ahead 14 to 5. The next challenge was the tug of war challenge. AJ pulled Dash over the mud, but the later used her wings to hover over it. She pulled Applejack off of the ground and dropped her into the mud. Just then, Jack called bullshit.

"Rainbow Dash was over the mud first! Applejack's point!" Jack screamed over the cheering ponies.

"I guess technically he's right." Twilight notioned. A point went to Applejack.

Still, Rainbow Dash was happy with her lead.

"I AM THE IRON PONY!" cheered Dashie

"Only because you cheated!" Complained AJ

"What?!"

"You used your wing power ta help you win over half those contests!" She did.

"Sounds like sour apples to me." said Rainbow AJ: 1. RD: 0

"Are you saying you didn't use your wings?" She did, didn't she?

"Well, no, but you never said I couldn't use my wings!" I see her point. AJ: 1. RD: 1

"Ah didn't think ah needed ta tell ye ta play fair!"

"Rules should still be stated before competitions to avoid stuff like this from happening." I said, gaining a glare from Applejack telling me to shut up.

"I still would've won even without my wings!"

"Hah! Prove it!"

"Gladly! How?!" RD asked

"Tomorrow is the annual 'Runnin of the Leaves'. Ah challenge you ta race me in it."

"Hah! Easy peasy."

"Without using your wings." Jack finished for AJ.

"No wings, no problem!"

They once again spat on their hooves and shook on it.

Saturday 11/28

The next day, we all met at Whitetail Woods by the starting line. Pinkie was floating in her balloon, replacing spike as the announcer for the Running of the Leaves. The contestants were getting ready, including Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

"Make way for the Iron Pony" Rainbow said, squeezing herself to the line.

"More like the Iron Phony." Applejack just made a burn.

"So Applejack. Ready to saddle up for Jack?"

"Ahm ready to run a good clean race!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"You are not allowed to use your wings!" AJ said

"I can win this race with both wings tied behind my back!" Rainbow taunted.

You dun did it now, Dash.

As Applejack tied Rainbow's wings to her back, Jack and I made bets from aside.

"Dashie's all about speed, ya know. I bet she'll leave AJ in the dust."

"Yeah right. In the air, maybe, but she's grounded. On the ground, it's all about horsepower, and my cowgirl's got more of it than your weather mare."

"10 bits goes to the winner."

"Deal!" Jack spat on his hand and held it out towards me. I grabbed his hand and slapped him in the face with it. "You bastard." He said, unamused.

The sound of trumpets brought the two humans' attentions to the starting line. Twilight decided to join in the running. Both Rainbow and Applejack found this hilarious. I can't really laugh considering Twilight probably runs faster than I do. If only this was a parkouring competition.

Anyway, the race was off. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were neck in neck. That's all I could see before they were gone. So bored. Fuck it! I took off running after them. Jack decided to join me soon after. We caught up to Twilight after a while.

"Hey. Why are you two running?" She asked.

"I just got bored." We both said in unison.

"Hey, shouldn't you run faster to catch up to the others?"

"Not really. I'm just enjoying the scenery and my first time running."

"Ah. Sounds like a plan. Wouldn't wanna tire ourselves out." With that, we both stayed at Twilight's pace, which for us was walking speed. For her, it made things more interesting. This gave her an opportunity to ask more questions about Earth. Soon, we somehow caught up to Applejack who was sprawled on the ground.

"Woah! I don't believe it!" AJ said.

"I know. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Not the scenery, Twilight! Rainbow Dash tripped me!"

Twilight looked around for a little and saw a large rock buried in the ground that perfectly lined up to where AJ ended up.

"No, she did not."

"Did too!"

"She did not! If you slowed down and looked where you were going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock." Twilight said, pointing to the rock.

"What? Oh hay seed! Now ah got a lotta ground ta make up ta catch Rainbow!" AJ said, watching all of the ponies run off without her, Rainbow in the lead.

"Just be careful!" Twilight warned.

"See ya at the finish line!" AJ yelled back.

With that, AJ was gone.

"Still legit." I said, smugly.

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

Not long after, we came across Rainbow Dash who had tripped over a tree stump. She blamed Applejack by saying she tripped her. Twilight had to correct her just like she did Applejack. However, Rainbow was a bit more hesitant to believe it than AJ. She left to catch up afterwards.

"Still legit?" Jack said smugly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess."

The next we saw of her was when we caught up to her leaning on a sign post.

"Hey rainbow, shouldn't you be up ahead?"

"I'm sure I'll win now."

"Except that the other racers just passed you."

"Oh horse apples! See ya!" Rainbow said, dashing ahead.

That wasn't the last time we saw them. They were both sliding down a slab of stone when we passed them both. At this rate, we may even beat them by just walking. That's when Twilight took off, passing all of the exhausted ponies ahead.

"Later boys!" She taunted.

"No you DON'T!!" Jack and I replied at the same time.

We both ran past Twilight. Well, Jack did. I decided to troll and jump over her, which in turn she decided to troll me by giving me an arcane blast to the glute. Jokes on her. Sure that blast caused me to go flying, but I flew ahead, zipping past the rest of the ponies, making 1st. I landed right on my ass.

Twilight stayed in 5th, Jack got 6th. Guess who got last. Not Rainbow, Not Applejack. They both got last as they were catfighting when they crossed the finish line. Jack and I were laughing when they found out they lost to us. They were so busy fighting each other to pay attention to the other runners. The funny thing was, they lost to those who didn't officially participate so Jack and I didn't get any medals.

Instead, both of us got surrounded by a gold aura and lifted off the ground. This caused Jack to panic as the first thing that ran through his mind was him being abducted by a spacecraft.

"What the hell?!?" He yelled.

I wasn't lifted as high as he was though. Around me, ponies started to bow.

"Do not struggle." I heard a stern motherly voice behind me. "Or you will be even more restrained." We both struggled anyway. That's when I started finding it hard to move. Jack was frozen in place. "You have been warned."

Something else you should know about me. I'm claustrophobic as hell! I'm bad in close spaces for the reason of extreme discomfort and not being able to move. I was still struggling. After a while I broke out of the mysterious grip while Jack remained levitated. I was freaking out! Not once have I ever been lifted by any one of these ponies.

"It seems you have strong resistance to even my magic." I turned my head around to the voice, standing up. This wasn't a pony. This was a fucking pure white Pegacorn Horse that was taller than I was. She was wearing a crown and a regalia along with gold-plated horseshoes that screamed I am fucking royalty, bitch! Her multicolored mane spelled I AM BENEVOLENT!! "Before I ask what you are, you will tell me of your intentions and how many of there are you."

They say fear makes you do crazy things. I've been in a similar situation when faced with someone who looked intimidating and could probably kill me with ease if they wanted to. I did the only thing I was taught how to do when facing such a situation.

"A-am I being detained? Am I a suspect of c-committing a crime?"

I mentally berated myself I do not think this is the same situation as being pulled over!

"Answer my question?" Queen Horsey Time repeated.

"Princess! Wait!!!" Twilight, AJ, and Rainbow yelled at the same time, raising from their bow. Princess?

"They're our friends! They aren't a threat!" Twilight told her mentor.

"I saw you use an arcane blast when he ambushed you." the princess told her.

"Princess! It was just us messing around! He joined the race out of boredom. Please, let Jack go!" She did.

Jack hit the ground. I turned to the newcomer. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?!?! You just come up here and just start liftin us around and stuff and then you start demanding shit from me?! What is your deal?!?"

The princess glared. Twilight trotted up to me. "Xavier! That's Princess Celestia! The ruler of Equestria! You should be respectful!"

"Twi, honey, where I'm from, that would be just a title. I was raised to give respect to those who respects me, and this princess technically attacked us before we even saw her!"

Twilight pleaded "Please, just bow."

"I bow down to no man/pony."

I expected her to incinerate me with a fire spell or something, but she seemed to calm down instead.

"I apologize. However, I must ask, for the safety of my ponies, what are you doing here in Equestria?"

"Well, trying to live my life? Same as everyone else here?"

"What are you? Where are you from?"

"Species, human aka homo sapiens. Planet Earth. Oh, my name is Xavier Roberts, by the way." I said in a 'you need to learn how to talk to people' manner.

She seemed to have caught on to this. "I am Princess Celestia Solaris. As my student informed you, I am the co ruler of Equestria. I apologize for my hostility. I did not know if you were a threat or not. And you seem to have strong resistance to even my magic than your friend.

Twilight stepped in. "It's because humans are born in a world without magic, so magic just passes through them. Just like how ghosts can't touch the living directly while they can touch other ghosts. His clothes were made back from his world, where there isn't any magic. Jack, his friend lying on the ground there, Rarity made his clothes weeks ago. Clothes made that's surrounded by magic. Therefore he is more affected by magic. If he were to take his clothes from Rarity off, then he'll be just as immune as Xavier."

Everyone stared at Twilight. "You are.... quite studious, my faithful student."

Jack looked at the Princess. "Can I go home now? I'm kind of scared out of my mind, and I'd rather not be magicked to death at the age of 19."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "You are only 19?"

"Yeah. I am too." I said to her.

Celestia turned to me. "How many of there are you?"

"Seven of us. Four young adults, one teen, and two kids. Little siblings."

"Where are your elders? Your parents?" She asked.

"Back at home. On my world I mean. We just appeared here one night. Me, my siblings, and the others, along with my entire house a few months ago."

"Well. I must say I am very sorry to have treated you like a hostile being, but there are many dangers here, both old and new. I am only doing what is best for my little ponies. Who is in charge of your group?"

AJ pointed to Jack, Rainbow and Twilight pointed their hooves at me.

"Woah woah woah! That title belongs to the most responsible. That would be my older brother, Traevon. Most likely, he's snoozing, or busy with helping 'your little ponies.'" I quoted my fingers.

"I would very much like to meet him."

"You probably will whenever we use the Grand Galloping Gala tickets you gave us."

"You are the extra friends Twilight made?"

"Well, yeah."

"Well, any friend of my student's is a friend of mine."

"I won't have to start bowing to you, will I?"

"We're friends, but you're not one of my subjects. Plus..." she leaned in close whispering. "I'd rather have somepony other than my sister that doesn't feel the need to bow to me for a change."

"Gotcha." I said, scratching behind her ears. It seems all ponies, even their princess, loves being scratched there.

"Watch it, human. You wouldn't want me to enjoy that too much." She joked.

I laughed a bit. Everyone saw us laughing and calmed down a little.

"Well, I'm glad the ruler here is chilled. I think we'll get along just fine. Just uh, no more stun magic. I hate being contained."

"I think I can manage to resist. As long as you don't harm any of my little ponies." She was serious at the end.

"None will be harmed unless they have an intent to harm me or my kin/friends without good reason." I stated.

"Fair enough." She replied. "I have duties to attend to. Until next time, Mr. Roberts."

"Please. Mr. Roberts is my father." This earned me a look from Jack.

The princess giggled before taking off. I was glad I wasn't going to have to deal with a tyrant princess. That would not be any good at all. Rainbow and Applejack had to run the rest of the leaves off of the trees. I decided to wait until they got back. Jack did too. They probably forgot, but we didn't. When they got back from running the leaves off of the trees, we stood there with grins on our faces.

"Somethin on yer minds?" AJ asked.

"Yup. You forgot about the deal. You know, loser gets saddled and ridden all around Ponyville." Jack said

"W-well, it was a tie!" Rainbow argued. This caused both me and Jack to grin wider.

"Yes. For last place. Meaning you both lost."

Rainbow and Applejack gulped in unison.

"Saddle up tomorrow, girls." Jack said.

Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

Author's Note

And that's it for Chapter 11. I hope you liked the twist at the end. For those wondering, Celestia saw Xavier jump over Twilight and saw her blast him in the rear. In her defense, what would you have done if you saw your kid playing around with a possibly dangerous creature that's unknown to man?

Also, the reason I chose saddling the loser? Nothing dirty is intended for the mares. The humans now have a temporary means of environmental friendly transport. :trollestia:

Anyway, leave a thumbs up if you liked it and comment your thoughts of this chapter.

Next up: Call of the Cutie

Chapter 12: The Cutie Mark Gang is Formed

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

The rest of the year was pretty interesting for human and pony alike. Ever since the little Iron Pony competition, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were less at each other's throats. I'd be lying if I didn't say that most of it was because of what happened the day after. I don't think RD or AJ had stopped blushing. Apparently, being mounted in the manner they were, with the saddles and all, usually meant private intimacy soon afterwards. We weren't really made aware until the day after. I found out when I first saw Dash that noon, being bugged by Lyra Heartstrings on how good it was in bed with a human. WHAT THE HELL, LYRA?! So RD filled me in on that custom, which lead to me explaining things to Lyra. For the Jacks on the other hand, things weren't so simple. They had to deal with rumors for the next several weeks, and you can guess who frickin started it. RARITY!

Thanksgiving was also interesting. We had a turkey in our freezer that mom bought for a cookout about a week before we ended up here. We bought yams and everything else from local stores. A few curious ponies wondered why we were buying so many foods and I just told them it was a human tradition. I thought about inviting the ponies over, but we were going to be eating a lot of meat, and we all know how they felt about that. Rainbow said she could bear with it. Applejack also came, bringing her famous apple pie and cider. Twilight came just to observe a new cultural tradition and to get to know everyone a little better. We made sure to cook the turkey before the three arrived. It was a pretty good day with no problems and very little awkwardness.

Winter was a pretty fun time. I had taught Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie the art of snowball fights. All throughout the season, ponies were randomly getting hit by snowballs. One time, I decided to prank my main target of pranking (Rarity) by blocking the entrance to the Carousel Boutique with a giant snowman. I put two more snowmen in front of her two front windows. Each time she looked out of one, she'd find herself face to face with a snowman. I had told RD that I loved Winter for various reasons. I love the cold weather, the snow, everything about Winter, activities, hot chocolate (which Pinkie also loved, but there's not much she doesn't love), and staying warm with friends and family. However, three events were coming up. One was Hearth's Warming Eve, and the other was Christmas. Dash said she was going to go visit her parents back in Cloudsdale for the holiday. Yeah, it sucked for me that she wouldn't be around with me. Did I ask to go and meet her, I did, but unless I was a pegasus, I couldn't walk on clouds, she said. I saw her off and spent Hearth's Warming Eve with Twilight. Well, more like she spent the holiday with me. She volunteered when she saw how Dash not being there affected me. She explained to me what the whole holiday was about and everything. I was a bit impressed with how much she knew and was willing to learn in general. I appreciated her for helping me get over my bummed mood, and started looking at her differently. It was just a crush though. For Christmas's sake, I wanted to give a gift to RD and my friends when she got back.

However, Dash leaving Ponyville during Christmas wasn't what bothered me. Like I said, Christmas and Thanksgiving are holidays that you would usually spend with friends and family. My thoughts went to home. Mom and Dad. Their house, along with their three children, were missing. They were no longer there. They could get another house and have everything replaced, except for us. I started to feel a bit down in both of those holidays. Twilight noticed both times. She left it alone during Thanksgiving, but when she noticed on the 25th, she was kind enough to stay by me. I appreciated it. I did need the comfort, and Dash wasn't there. I decided that Twilight was going to be my next best friend.

Rainbow came back a few days after Christmas, 12/28, and to make it up to me, she said she'd spend the rest of the year with me, doing everything I had planned for us for Christmas. Everyone and pony were at our house. I had gotten Rainbow a rainbow colored scarf (don't ask how I got it), I gave Rarity a flammable un-compressed diamond hahaha!. I had made use of my woodshopping skills and gave everypony a wooden ornament. Wings for Rainbow, an apple or AJ, a flower for Fluttershy, a star for Twilight, a balloon for Pinkie, and a spade for Rarity (like the ones on the cards). I had to silently thank my dad once more. It was 12/31, and judging by the townsponies normal behavior, I guess ponies didn't have a new years and a new years eve. Twilight and the others were listening to us tell them about New Years resolutions and stuff we usually do whenever a new year is arriving. Jack asked AJ to bring sparkling cider, in which she did, and we all celebrated the imaginary ball dropping, signalling a new year.

It's been a few weeks later after New years. It was 1/14. The day was a special one. Somehow, a certain pink pony knew what day it was because when I woke up, I was greeted with the sight of balloons and the sound of an airhorn. To make things hilarious, Dash had been sleeping in the same bed with me that night (not doing what you think we were, by the way) and she was startled silly that she pretty much turned into a pony face mask. After prying her off of my face, she tried to play it cool, but nobody let her live down that moment. She didn't really know what the occasion was until she went downstairs and saw everyone standing in front of a banner that said "Happy Birthday Xavier!" Rainbow sorta berated herself for not asking about it sooner, but to be honest, I never thought to tell her, let alone ask for her birthday. I did so while it was fresh in my mind. 3/24. That's her birthday.

Yesterday was, to my despair, Winter Wrap Up. Apparently, Winter is short here. Since we had no wings and couldn't push away clouds, or magic or four legs to pull a plow, the humans were pretty much useless. It was a pretty uneventful day for us. I'm glad my mp3 player was charged because I was not a fan of musicals. They were all singing, so I had to drown it out. It was annoying to me, and to Jeff also. Trae didn't care. However, tomorrow marked the first day of school for the kids. They'll finally have something to do besides go to Twilight's to read, follow Fluttershy around, and mess around Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom seemed to be stoked that she had her group of friends to go to school with.

Monday 2/1

"Do we have to?! I don't wanna go! What if I don't make any friends because I'm not a pony?!?"

My little sister was whining. She really did not want to go to school. She felt that school was boring in our world, and now she'll have to endure it in a world with primitive technology. I kinda felt for her a little bit, but only a little bit. I mean, hell, when I was in elementary school, we had Bill Nye the Science Guy videos. Well, at least Jack's little siblings had a better attitude.

"Sis, you already have a friend that's going to school. Apple Bloom? If she won't mind you not being a pony, who's to say others won't either? Heck, you may even make a lot of friends by not being a pony. Besides, it's not like you're gonna be the only human there."

She wasn't. Jonathan was going to be there along with Hiroto, who volunteered. Having her friends following alongside us seemed to have put her at ease just a tad bit. She needed to make new friends that were around her age for one, and two, she needed to know the world's basics. Bro, Hiroto, and I could probably teach her about our world's basics ourselves, but unfortunately we aren't in our world.

When we arrived to the school, a dark pinkish purple coated mare with a mane that had two shades of pink was standing in front of the school. We were actually the first there. The mare looked at us curiously.

"Hello Xavier. How can I help you four this morning?" She asked.

"I believe the mayor has spoken to you quite some time ago about having these three here attend your class?"

"Oh right! I nearly forgot. I'll introduce them to the class after it starts."

"Thanks. And hey, I've never really got your name."

"It's Cheerilee. Miss Cheerilee." She introduced herself. "I teach here."

I had to smile at that. "Sounds like you're quite cheery....lee." I joked.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes yes, I suppose I do try to put a bit of pep into my classes."

"Anyway, please do look after 'em. My little sis is already nervous."

"Can I ask their names and ages?" She asked.

"Brianna, the little girl you see here, is my sister. She's 7. The brown headed kid is my best friend's little brother, Jonathan,and he's 8. The tallest kid you see here is Hiroto. He's adopted. Age of 13. He volunteered to come here on his own." Upon his introduction, Hiroto adjusted his glasses with his index finger.

"This will be an interesting few years." She mumbled. "Okay, I'll accept the little ones into my class."

"You have mine, my brother's and my best friend's gratitude." I held my hand out to the teacher. She in turn placed one of her fore hooves in my hand. We shook. The kids went inside of the building along with Cheerilee. I looked around. No one was here yet. "Welp. I gots lotsa stuff to do." And with that, I walked on back home to see who needed my help today.

-3rd Person-

It was 20 minutes after Xavier left, the little fillies and colts entered the classroom. Miss Cheerilee walked in soon after. The little ones were chit chatting with each other while she got ready. When she finished, she stood infront of the class.

"Good morning fillies and colts."

"Good morning Miss Cheerilee." The class said in unison.

"Before we start with the teaching, I would like to introduce you to three new students."

The three students walked in. Their new classmates stared at the three, almost all of them were in shock, save one yellow red-maned filly, who was bouncing in her seat in excitement.

There was a pink-skinned short kid with blue eyes and a brown bowl-shaped hair, a slightly taller dark skinned female with her hair cut to shoulder length, and a much taller lighter-skinned boy who's glasses deflected the light from the sun.

The short kid went first. "Hello! My name is Jonathan Wilson!

The girl stepped up next. "I'm Brianna Roberts, but you can call me Bri if you want.

Then the tallest one, adjusting his glasses, spoke. "Greetings everyone. My name is Hiroto Xuan Wilson. It will be much a pleasure to learn among you fillies and colts. Let us make this a pleasurable learning experience for everyone."

Cheerilee smiled at the three in attempt to make them feel welcome among the stares they were getting. "Nice introduction you three. Now if you may please take your seats so I can begin the class."

"I am afraid that instruction will be difficult to follow." Hiroto said.

"And why is it difficult, Mr. Hiroto?"

He pointed to the room. "All of the seats are taken."

Cheerilee facehoofed, wondering how she could make such a blunder. "I am so sorry you three. There's another room across the hallway with spare tables and chairs. You're free to get them for yourselves."

"Thank you."

The three humans went to the mentioned room and each retrieved a desk and a chair. They were pretty small for them, but they dealt with it. They set themselves up at the end of the class. A lot of their pony classmates were staring.

"Class, I expect all of you to welcome the new students with open arms, even if they aren't ponies." The teacher said, sternly.

The colts and fillies in the class started mumbling. Applebloom turned around.

"Johnny! Brianna! Ah can't believe we're in school together!" She quietly whispered.

Jonathan grinned at her, "I know!"

Brianna seemed less enthusiastic about holding a pencil again.

Hiroto just didn't care. Apple Bloom didn't see much of him since he straightened out the meat eating problem at their Welcome to Equis Pinkie Party.

Hiroto looked around the class room. The very first thing he had noticed was that the 'class of fillies and colts' turned out to be just a class of fillies. He and Jonathan were the only males in the class, which had him wondering.

"Let's quiet down, please." Miss Cheerilee instructed. "We have a very important lesson to get to."

The bantering stopped. However, one hand was raised.

"Yes, Hiroto?"

"I apologize for delaying the lesson from starting, but I do notice that my brother and I are the only males in this class room. Are we in the right place?"

Miss Cheerilee looked at the rest of her students. He was right. Both Wilsons were the only males in the class room. "I assure you that you are. There will be a few more students joining us soon, and some of them are colts. The male/female ratio in Ponyville and in most of Equestria are heavily unbalanced, mostly consisting of mares and fillies."

He looked outside and saw the towns ponies wandering around. There were indeed far more females than there were males. How could I have missed this?! he wondered. He then remembered that most of his time was either spent in the Library, or at the Robert's residence. He has barely had any actual interaction with the ponies.

"Now if I may, today we are going to be talking about Cutie Marks." She said as he walked over to her paper board and flipped it up, revealing drawings of a few symbols and items supposedly representing a 'cutie mark'.

Hiroto smirked at the name. If Jeff were here, he would probably say something like "Sounds gay!"

"Boring..." A pink earth pony with a purple and white-highlighted mane said. If it wasn't her pink coat, it would've been her tiara that stood out. Hiroto could sense that this pony was a juvenile from that one response. Even Apple Bloom could see it.

"You can all see my cutie mark, can't you?" Miss Cheerilee turned to her side to show the mark on her flank. It looked like three smiling sunflower heads. "Like all ponies, I wasn't born with a cutie mark. My flank was blank." She said, tearing off another paper from her board and showing her a photo of her as a filly."

A student up front found her picture to be adorable.

"Then one day, when I was about your age, I woke up to find that a cutie mark had appeared." Said Cheerilee, now showing a picture of her with an 80s style clothng. This caused Jonathan to snicker out loud.

"Look at her hair!" said a random filly

"Someone was into disco." Commented Brianna, quietly unlike that other filly.

Cheerilee giggled at the reaction. "Yes I know, but honestly, that's how everypony was wearing their mane back then. I had decided to become a teacher, and the flowers symbolized my hope that I could help my future students bloom if I nurture them with knowledge. The smiles represented the cheer I hope to bring to my little ponies while they were learning."

"She has a good way of keeping herself motivated. Most commendable." Thought Hiroto.

The only one taking notes was Apple Bloom. Everyone else was either looking at the picture or not paying any attention at all.

"Now, can anyone tell me when a pony gets his or her cutie mark?"

A pony with glasses up front raised her hoof. "Ooh! Ooh! When the dithcoverth thomething that makth her thpethial!" she said with a lisp.

"Or him!" Jonathan yelled, looking at the pony up front that had answered.

"Jonathan, raise your hand next time. That's right, Twist. A cutie mark appears on a pony's flank when he or she..."

It was then, Hiroto noticed the tiara'd filly sitting beside Apple Bloom was passing a note to her, while a grey filly with glasses on the other side, urged her to take it. When Apple Bloom took it, however...

"Apple Bloom! Are you passing a note?" Cheerilee shouted. Apple Bloom froze up on the spot.

"Uh...."

"What could be so important that it can't wait until after class?" Cheerilee walked in front of Apple Bloom, but noticed something off about the 'note'. "It's blank!"

She was set up. The tiara'd pony laughed. "Remind you of any pony?" Causing further humiliation towards the yellow filly who had no mark.

"Hey! Leave her alone you tiara wearing jerk!" Brianna screamed.

"Brianna Roberts! I will not have name calling in this class!" Cheerilee said.

"But she-"

"No buts, or your butt will be in time out." She stated.

The pink filly beside Apple Bloom gave Brianna a smug look.

Hiroto sat there, observing the entire thing. As enthusiastic as you are, Miss Cheerilee, I can already see some major flaws in you.

Brianna looked at Hiroto. "Did you see what just happened?!?" she whispered harshly.

Hiroto looked at her from the corner of his eye before continuing to observe once more.

Nothing much happened afterwards. The lessons went on without further interruptions. Soon enough, classes were dismissed. However, while the other students went on their merry way, Apple Bloom looked downtrodden, slowly walking out of the building with Jonathan and Brianna trying to cheer her up. Meanwhile, Hiroto decided to stay behind. When Cheerilee came back to pack her things, she noticed one of the three human students, still sitting at his desk. He did not look happy. In fact, he looked rather disappointed.

"Mr. Hiroto. I did say class was dismissed. Do you need anything?"

"Why yes, as a matter as fact, there is something I would like to point out some flaws about what happened in class today." Hiroto started.

Outside of the school, Apple Bloom was walking home with her friends when Twist, the filly who sat in front of her, walked up beside her.

"Want thomthing thweet? I got thome pepperment thtickth. I made them mythelf!" She said proudly.

Apple Bloom shook her head, not in the mood. Jonathan on the other hand...

"Can I?!"

Ignoring him, she insisted.

"They'll make you thmile!"

"No." Apple Bloom said.

Then that's when the two troublemakers started coming their way.

"I dunno why we had to sit through a lecture about getting a cutie mark. I mean, waiting for your cutie mark is so last week. You got yours, I just got mine. We all have them already." Of course, the mean tiara girl had to walk by them. "I mean, almost all of us have them already. Don't worry, you four are still totally invited to my cute-ceanera this weekend."

"What's a cute-ceanera?" Jonathan asked.

The pink one decided to open her mouth again. "Did you monkeys come from under a rock or something?"

"I AM NOT A MONKEY!!!" Brianna screamed, raising her hand before swinging. Tiara's eyes went wide.

[pause]

It was that moment. That Tiara knew she fucked up.

[unpause]

Brianna sent flurries of hands, slapping Tiara a few good times before being pulled back by Jonathan and Apple Bloom. Brianna was still screaming "I'm not a monkey" and flailing towards Tiara.

"Calm down Bri!" Screamed Apple Bloom, her voice muffled by having Bri's bag in her teeth.

"Bri you are uninvited and I'm SO telling my daddy on you!" Screamed Tiara with a little redness in one of her eyes. "Come on Silver Spoon. Leave the pet monkeys with their blank flanks." The two fillies galloped away. Brianna was literally dragging Jonathan who was trying to hold her back.

A few minutes before, Hiroto was leaving the school. He had told Cheerilee everything that happened and man did she feel like a donkey. He started walking home, but heard yelling. Then he saw the most hilarious well-deserved one-sided slap fight ever. He could already tell what happened. He just stood there and observed. Thinks calmed down shortly after the two troublemakers retreated. Hiroto caught up to the rest of them and walked Apple Bloom home.

After they walked Apple Bloom home, the three humans went home. Hiroto told Xavier and Traevon what happened. Traevon didn't look as happy as his younger brother did. Well, Xavier was rolling on the ground, saying "Bully Beatdown: Ponyville Edition Episode 2" while Trae went to have a little word with Brianna about self control.

-Xavier's POV-

Saturday 2/6

Dash and I were strolling through the town. Brianna was still grounded by Bro for the fight. Personally, I kinda congratulated her for sticking up for her friends and beating up a bully. That lil bitch deserved it. Either way, she wasn't going to this Tiara's quinceanera. Frankly, I find that to be a good thing. Otherwise, she'd get in trouble for adding an extra ingredient into her cake, Tiara's face. Wanna know who I blame for Tiara's behavior? Her parents! I was so deep in thought that I only heard the second half of Dash's conversation.

"...and then everypony in Cloudsdale went nuts! It was the best prank ever! They never suspected a thing!" She finished. She turned to look at me. Shit... I need to say something..

"Heh. You're kidding? You got away with that?" I asked, hoping she'd buy it.

She grinned. "Heck yeah I did."

She went on about it but then I noticed Apple Bloom with a dark cloud over her head, comically expressing her mood. Rainbow saw it too.

"Hey I'll catch up with you later." She said. We quickly kissed before she flew over to Apple Bloom.

Hm... I wonder what's AB's deal?

I didn't worry about it. That was until I went back to my home to find that I was called to chaperon at her 'cute-ceanera'. It was literally a request written out as a job for us. Why not? I'm good with kids. I turned to Jack and asked him if he'd like to come join in on the fun.

"Sure, why not?" And with that, we were there. We got to Sugarcube Corner early and helped out with everything. Setting up the 'cupcakes', balloons, streamers, etc. Soon, fillies and colts started coming in. All that were invited anyway. Hiroto came along with his younger brother. A few other adult mares were chaperoning for the party. I noticed Apple Bloom coming out of the party. She seemed to be the only one there without a cutie mark. They should really find a new name for those. Talent Marks or something. She was hiding from everyone because of it.

I feel ya sis. Ever been the only black kid in a summer reading program?

I watched as she Metal Gear Solid'd her way to the door. When she almost escaped, Applejack blocked the entrance, being completely oblivious to her little sister's goal and pushed her back in the middle of everyone. I shook my head. Whereas I was disappointed in AJ, Jack walked up to her.

"Hey AJ! Didn't know you were comin'. Want me to get my mare some punch?" Jack asked, not so quietly. A few mares started giggling at Applejack, who gave her boyfriend a glare.

"Jack!!" She hissed quietly, pulling him outside.

I watched as two little fillies, one pink coated one with a purple-white highlighted mane wearing a tiara, and a gray coated one with two shades of gray mane and tail. I didn't like the look on the former. I just watched as Apple Bloom attempted to make a makeshift pony dress out of a table cloth. Clever. Then it hit me. Tiara. Cutie Mark. Wait... isn't that the filly Hiroto told me about? The one that was making fun of Apple Bloom? And the one who called my sister and her friends a monkey? I watched closer and listened in.

"Well well well. Look who's here." Tiara said.

"Nice outfit." The other one said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Just a lil somethin Ah uh, pulled together last minute."

"It really shows off your cutie mark. Oh wait. That's right! You don't have one." Tiara marked.

"But uh, I have a cutie mark." Apple Bloom lied.

"What?! Since when?" Said the grey filly.

"Since.. Earlier today!"

AJ would not be amused.

"Oh really?" Tiara asked "Let's see it?"

Hoo-boy...

"Ah shouldn't. A-Ah couldn't! My cutie mark is so unbelievably amazing. Ah'm afraid that if Ah show 'em off, everyone will start paying attention to me instead of you. Outshined at your own cute-ceanera? Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?" The look on Tiara's face said everything.

"Nah, forget it. I didn't wanna see it anyway." She pulled it off! She really fuckin pulled it off!!!

Apple Bloom, I respect you more than you know right now.

"Oh. Okay, well I'm gonna go mingle. Enjoy your party!" AB said as she started walking towards me, Hiroto, and Jonathan. That was, until her 'dress' fell off and she stumbled onto the record player, drawing everyone's attention to her and her blank flank.

Oh! So close!

From the looks of the two runts, they seemed to have regained their ammo against Apple Bloom.

"Wow! That is an amazing cutie mark!" the grey one said sarcastically before laughing.

"Nice try, blank flank!" They both taunted.

"You got a problem with blank flanks?!" Said a voice coming from under a table. Two fillies, one white unicorn with a purple and pink mane and and orange-ish brown pegasus with a purple mane stepped out from under the tables."I said, do you have a problem with blank flanks?!" the orange one said.

"The problem is it means she's like totally not special." Said four-eyes.

"Wrong!" Hiroto said, now behind Tiara and her lackey. He readjusted his glasses with his index finger, the light hitting it to hide his eyes. "It means she has not yet discovered her special talent, yet. Miss Cheerilee talked about it in class this Monday, remember? No wait, you don't, because you. Silver Spoon," he said, pointing at the gray filly, "were too busy staring at your own hoof, while you, Diamond Tiara," his finger shifted over towards Taira, "was too busy scheming to humiliate Apple Bloom."

This made both of them wince a little. Wait... Diamond Tiara? Silver Spoon? I sat down, my back towards them.

Hiroto continued in a calm manner, putting both hands behind his back. "With a name like Silver Spoon, tells you all about your character. You know, in human terms, there's a phrase, 'born with a silver spoon in your mouth.' That means that you were born privileged and wealthy, and haven't really earned your worth."

"Not really something to be all that smug about." I added in my two cents.

"That's your cutie mark too, isn't it? Or do you actually make spoons? Sorry to inform you, but if it weren't for us humans, and Spike the dragon, that would be a useless talent considering you ponies don't use spoons. You have fun with that."

By now, Silver Spoon's eyes were watering.

"And you, Diamond Tiara. You're daddy's little princess, right? The girl who always gets everything she wants? The one who thinks she's the center of everything just because she's wealthy? Sorry to inform you, but you're not. Your father is the one who has all of the money and he earns it through hard labor. He spends his hard-earned money, on you. You haven't earned a single bit. Why? Because you're Diamond Tiara. Daddy's little princess. That would explain why you have a tiara as a cutie mark."

"Again, not something to be so smug about. My dad loves me too, but I don't go around putting others down because of it." I put in another two cents.

"And you say Apple Bloom isn't special?" Hiroto's voice was losing it's calm and starting to become malicious. "Your talents aren't special! They're useless!"

"Hiroto." I called out. Yeah, he's taking this a bit too far.

"You two have done nothing for yourselves other than make others feel miserable for your own gain! Just because you're living a life you don't deserve!"

"Hiroto!" Jack could see this also.

"YOU BOTH ARE 'TOTALLY' USELESS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHERS BASED ON THE 'WEALTH' YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE!!! HOW'S YOUR EYE, THERE, PINK USELESS?!?"

I had to turn around.

"HIROTO!!!" Jack and I yelled in unison. That got his attention.

Jack shook his head in disapproval. Damn, dude, you took them apart piece by piece, burned their pieces with a flame thrower, and then nuked them with every nuclear bomb the States have in their arsenal.

Hiroto bowed. "My apologies. I must be excused." With that, he left.

It was quiet. Even Apple Bloom's newest allies stood there, wondering what just happened. Jack went after his adopted brother as I turned to the two quiver lipped fillies.

"My apologies. He got a tad bit carried away." I said. The other chaperons nodded in agreement. "However in his defense, while you were making fun of Apple Bloom here for not having a cutie mark, you were making fun of everyone without one, not just her two no friends, but Hiroto himself as well. Not just him, but my little sister Brianna too, along with Jack and his other brother Jonathan over there. You even made fun of me." Everypony gasped. "That's right. I don't have a cutie mark either. Never have, never will. Humans don't get them, so technically, we 'monkeys that live under rocks' are all blank flanks for life."

Diamond Tiara looked scared and sad while Silver Spoon was tearing up even more.

"Think about that next time you decide to pick on Apple Bloom for not blooming yet." I pointed to Apple Bloom.

Jonathan went over to Apple Bloom and hugged her. I could hear him say "I like you just the way you are." Her two new friends joined in on the hug. I looked around at everybody else and realized that the atmosphere in here was heavy enough to crush Hercules. I went over to the stopped record player and started it up again. It wasn't soon after that the party was back to the way it was supposed to be. Apple Bloom, Jonathan and I were at a table with the other two blank flanks who introduced themselves as Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo. We introduced ourselves, but Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell already knew about me. Sweetie Bell is...her... sister, and was a huge fan of the very first prank I pulled on her. She was grounded for laughing at her, but it was so funny to her that the hilarity of it was enough to last for years. Scootaloo knew me because I was dating her favorite idol. In fact, most of her questions towards me was not about me being a human, but about Rainbow Dash.'

"Well, now that we're friends, what if all of us work together to find out who we are and what we're supposed be?" Apple Bloom proposed.

"But Xavier said we don't get cutie marks."

"Yeah, but you have two new pony friends that I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun with them. And hey, you might learn something from being with them." I stated. "Count my sister in too."

"YAY!!!" They all screamed.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Sweetie Belle had the floor. "We could form our own secret society!"

"I'm liking this idea!" said Scootaloo

"A secret society! Yeah! We need a name for it though." Apple Bloom stated

"The cutie mark five?" Scootaloo suggested.

It was SB's turn. "The cute-astically fantastics?"

Then AB's. "How about the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

"It's perfect!"

"SOS BRIGADE!" Jonathan shouted. The three fillies looked at him.

"That name's already taken." I said, facepalming. Both him and my sis are such anime geeks.

"I know." He said with a goofy grin. "I'm calling it the Cutie Mark Gang though. Sounds tougher!"

And that's how the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Gang) was formed.

On our way back home, Jack had told me that Hiroto had already went home. The trio of fillies wanted to meet and hang out with the member they hadn't met yet. I have to say, these three are interesting enough together. I wonder how things'll go along now that Bri Bri has more friends her age to hang around with.

So there we were, at home. Apple Bloom and Jonathan introduced the two newcomers to Brianna, and she introduced herself to the Wii U. Trae saw her new friends and said that he would let her off of her grounding early just this once so she could play with her new friends.

So he does know how to loosen up.

While the five kids were playing, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" I stood up and went to the door, opening it. Standing there was a brown earth pony stallion looking in his middle ages with the black seemingly fading, nicely combed mane. He looked up at me with a look that said 'we have business to discuss.'

"Hello?" I said, observing him. It was dark, but I could vaguely make out some features. A tie with a dollar sign and a trio of moneybags as his cutie mark. I guess this man was very wealthy, and he seemed old enough to be someone's fath-holy shit it's Diamond Tiara's dad. She actually went and sicked her dad on me!

"Greetings, Mr. Xavier. My name is Filthy Rich. I've heard a lot about you. There is something I'd like to talk to you and a Mr. Hiroto about my daughter Diamond Tiara." It was that moment that I thought of two possible outcomes that'll come from this. One, he pays us a lot of bits for de-bullying his daughter, or two, a rich stallion ends up flying out a window from the second floor of my house.

Author's Note

And with that, ends Chapter 12. I'm trying the 'cliff hanger' thing. Sorry I didn't beat up Diamond Tiara... much... but she and Silver Spoon did get roasted to the 360th degree, not by Xavier, but by Hiroto. Yes, Hiroto, although bright and smart, did get carried away. I made that happen because Hiroto's character...

Let me tell you something about Hiroto. He's not the social type. He was bullied before for being shorter than the average boy and.. for being Asian, and for being too smart or his own age. And he's also a bit reclusive around home too, as you see him either spending the entire day at home, or in the Library. The only pony he probably only talks to is Twilight because one, he hangs out in her library all day, and two, he's very informal towards her when she has questions, and three, you'll find that he's one of the only ones that'll be able to sit through an entire lecture. If he was 18+, there might've been a 'connection' between the two. Another thing is, Hiroto is extremely perceptive, maybe even rivaling Bruce Wayne. Pretty much, he's a bright kid. He's just a tad bit socially impaired from being a hermit. That's all.

If you've read my blog, you'd know I'm gonna be taking a break for a while. Don't worry, you will completely find out what happens next. It may cause the CMC episodes to be slightly different from this point on, but I kinda did it to make things even more interesting for the younglings.

Anyway, if you like the fiction, leave a thumbs up, and comment on the chapter.

Next up: Twilight is Evolving. (Feeling Pinkie Keen)

-edited for the next chapter-

Chapter 13: Twilight, be like Frozen and Let It Go!

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

I remember that night. A stallion named Filthy Rich came over our house to talk to me and Hiroto about his 10 year old daughter. A few chaperons at her cute-ceanera, told Filthy Rich about what happened and what Hiroto said. Mr. Filthy, or Mr. Rich as he'd like to be called, explained to us that there have been problems at home with his wife and her high expectations of her, which is why Tiara treats others the way she treats them. Hiroto didn't take this too well. The following Monday, he met with her at school. I was told that no one else but the crusaders treated Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara differently because, well, they're rich. Hiroto told me that evening that he had told Diamond Tiara that 'he had attacked the wrong person.' He even invited them over the next day. It took about a week before Diamond Tiara forgave him and started opening up to both of us since we had a good idea on what's ruining her childhood and I guess you could say that he and I decided to play counselor for her. When Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left, I told Hiroto to look after both of them and help them to get along with the other kids. I also told him to try to protect them from the others if needed. If the little fillies and colts are anything like my 'childhood friends' on Earth, they'll only like her for what she has instead of who she really is.

With the juvenile problems out of the way, the kids going to school and hanging out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders (or for Hiroto, hanging with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon), they were out of the house. That left us men to do stuff... you know, that men do. That is unless the mares came over. I think we asked a few times for Dash and AJ to let us have our 'man time'. I guess that concept confused them because neither of them had ever hung around a lot of stallions or males of any sort other than Big Mac and Spike. Either that, or males don't have 'men time' here considering gender roles. I told Jeff this, and he shuttered at the thought of being in the kitchen, cooking for his mare (If he get over them being ponies) and her friends while they're doing what they do. It was the 21st century last time we were on Earth, Jeff. Not all women wanna be stuck in the kitchen. Anyway, if they were either too busy to come over or left us men to our devices, we dusted off the cobwebs from rated M or A movies, blew the dust off of the Xbox Ones, 360s, and pcs. With a bit of file sharing, we all had the same games and could play each other. It's pretty much First Person Shooter throughout the house. I'll have to side with Jeff on this one. I doubt the ponies could handle the sheer amount of violence that happens on screen. The only question I have now, is for wherever the hell my phone is.

-Recap over-

(Tuesday, 2/16)

I was eating breakfast at around 11:00. I was the last one up, so my breakfast was pretty cold. It's a good thing we have the only working microwave on the planet. Everyone else was except for bro was gone. Being the wannabe musician he is, he was hoping to impress the ponies here with a taste of Earth music. I could've sworn though, I saw a unicorn mare that was just for him last month. I'll just point my bro in her direction when I see her again. My meal was interrupted by a knock at the door. Does Rainbow have another day off? When I opened the door, it wasn't Rainbow waiting for me. It was my dear friend Twilight and her number one assistant Spike. She needed help with observing a spell or something and taking notes. A spell in which both her and Spike would need heavy concentration on. I wasn't he best note taker, but bro was already busy doing his thing, and Jack was helping Roseluck with with her shop while Lily was sick. Or was it Daisy that was sick? Trae was a better note taker as I've stated before, so I offered to go and get him, but she said there was no time and she wanted me. Why?

So we made our way out to a hill over by town square. Twilight was using her magic on Spike to make some sort of fancy suit and top hat for him from a rock on his head and a necklace of leaves, and a cane out of a stick. I was just standing around watching Twilight struggle. She managed to get the suit and cane right, but Spike was distracted by something going on behind me. Turns out, it was Pinkie dashing and hiding under things with an umbrella hat on. If she says the sky is falling, I'm gonna lose it.

"Nevermind her, boys. She's just being Pinkie Pie." Twilight said.

"Super extra Pinkie Pie, today." Spike continued.

We went to see what was up with her when her tail started shaking.

"Pinkie, what in the wide, wide world of Equestria are you up to?"

"Oh! It's my tail! It's a twitchin' twitchin'" Pinkie said. "And you know what that means!"

"That you need Ritalin?" I answered.

"Who is Ritalin?" she asked.

"Actually Pinkie, I haven't the slightest idea."

"It means my Pinkie Sense is telling me that stuff's gonna start falling! You three better duck for cover!"

I looked up in the sky and saw Fluttershy flying about.

"The only thing I see in the sky is Flut-" I was cut off.

"Oh, Pinkie, it's not gonna rain. Why, there's barely even a cloud in the-" It was her turn to be cut off this time by a frog to the face. Karma bitch!

Ribbit!

"He just said 'nice catch' in Frog." responded Pinkie

"You speak frog now?"

"And gator." I'm not going to ask.

Fluttershy stopped above us carrying a wagon, bags and basket that were all full of frogs. Not safe for the animals, Fluttershy!

"I'm so so sorry.. Are you okay, Twilight Sparkle? I just couldn't stand to see the pond getting so overpopulated..." said the butter pegasus.

She was taking the frogs to some place called 'Froggy Bottom Bogg.' That place sounds so like a place for frogs. So she went on her way for frog delivery.

"Uh, Twilight, you got a little something on your face there." Pinkie pointed out the frog that was still clinging to her head.

"Oh, really? Did your 'Pinkie Sense' tell you that, too?" Twilight sarcastically asked.

"No Twilight, we can all see the frog that's still hugging your face." I gestured to the frog.

"Come on, boys, let's go practice our session somewhere where there's a little less commotion." Twilight commanded. Pinkie trotted off elsewhere while Spike and I followed a now-grumpy Twilight Sparkle. So I was following behind as Spike started conversing about Pinkie's psychic abilities while Twilight skeptically shrugged off the claims. That was before Pinkie zipped up behind me, startling the living shit out of me with her twitching tail!

"Twitch a Twitch! Twitch a Twitch! Something else is gonna fall!" Pinkie shouted.

"Yeah, and it was almost your face! Sneakin up on me like that, have you lost your goddamn mind?!" I scolded. Like really! Scaring a black man has never been a good idea!

"Calm down Xavier. Pinkie, nothing else is going to WAAAAH!!" In mid sentence, Twilight fell into a trench.

"You okay Twilight?" I asked the dazed unicorn. "Where the heck did this trench come from?"

"Oh no! Twilight fell! Is it safe to go help her?!" Spike asked.

"It's okay! My tail stopped twitching." said Pinkie as she zipped off.

She growled as I helped her with getting up like a true friend instead of asking about it.

"I'm fine Xavier, just help me out of this ditch." Twilight commanded.

"That was amazing!" Spike shouted.

"Shut up, Spike." I said, looking at Spike. Seriously, she could've broken something! I dare not tell them what happens to equines at home when they break a leg!

"Uh, Twilight, Xavier? Why're ya'll hangin' out in a ditch?" A new voice said.

"Because Pinkie Pie predicted it!" Spike said, still for some reason sounding excited about his boss's misfortune. Twilight once again skeptically shrugged it off as an unlikely coincidence, but when she mentioned the 'twitchy tail' thing, AJ became uneasy.

"Twitchy tail? Pinkie Sense?!" She said, immediately taking cover afterwards.

"Don't worry, it's safe. The prediction already happened." Spike said, still not caring about Twilight.

"Oh wait.. Don't tell me you believe in this stuff too." She asked AJ.

From the way Applejack explained earlier, it seems to be a Ponyville thing. If Pinkie's senses starts tingling, something's going to happen. Yeah, I'm in a world full of civilized magical talking ponies, griffins, dragons, and gay sea monsters. I'm gonna go ahead and buy this one and say it makes sense.

"Makes sense to me." I said.

This caused Twilight to do a double take. "WHAT?! You too?!?"

"Twilight, look at things from my perspective. I come from a place where unicorns and pegasi are mythical creatures and magic isn't really a thing but illusions, strings, and card tricks. And ponies can't talk. If I tried to remain skeptic about everything, I would've lost my mind months ago."

"Okay, I get it, but-" she was cut off by Pinkie.

"My ears are flopping, my ears are flopping!!!" She said in a Paul Revere way. I couldn't keep a straight face with this one because it looked so fucking ridiculous.

Spike threw his arms up defensively "What does that mean?!"

"I'll start a bath for you." Pinkie told Twilight.

And then some old pony speeding a wagon trotted over a mud puddle and splashed Twilight. I think I was starting to get where Pinkie was going at. Pinkie is friends with Murphy and gave her power over him. So, Spike and I waited inside Sugarcube Corner, waiting for Twilight to finish her bath. Spike was munching on some cupcakes while I was playing Pokemon X. So far I was doing nothing but leveling up my Pokemon at the Battle Chateau on Route 7. Spike got a bit curious.

"Hey Xavier, what is that?" He asked

"It's a 3DS."

"What's that?"

"A hand held source of entertainment for humans."

"What?"

"A game."

And of course, once he heard that, he asked the very question all kids ask when they see a shiny new toy.

"Can I play?" UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!

If this was a game with multiple save files, I would let him play to his heart's content. However, since there is only one save file for all Pokemon games (I mean, seriously Gamefreak?), I told him that he couldn't battle with my pokemon. Instead, he could pet them and play the minigames.

"As long as you promise not to belch on it or scratch up the touch screen."

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Spike said while doing his little gestures.

What the fuck?

"What was that about?" I asked.

"That's a Pinkie Promise!"

"I'm not even gonna ask..." So I let him play with the highest level pokemon I had, which just so happen to be the girliest looking one I have. Just for shits and giggles, I leveled up my Sylveon.

After a while, Twilight was now clean with all of the mud washed off of her. Annoyed with her assistant, she told him to go back to the library while I followed along. He did just that after giving me my 3DS back when I asked for it. I mean come on. It's pretty much my only source of entertainment when I'm not home, and I didn't trust Spike that much to leave it alone with him, even if he did "Pinkie Promise." I followed behind Twilight while she was talking to Pinkie, still being skeptic about her Pinkie Sense.

"What's not to believe? You do magic." Pinkie retorted. "What's the difference?"

"She has a point, Twi." I said.

"See? Even Xavi believes me." Pinkie said.

"But then again, I think I'd believe anything that goes on in this world. You can tell me there's a five legged dragon in your home, and I'd believe it."

"It's a huge difference, Pinkie." She said as she stepped on a small box, ignoring me. They really need to stop doing that. "For one thing, magic is something you study and practice. It womp womp womp wooomp womp womp womp woooomp womp womp woooomp." Was all I heard as I tuned her out. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd believe anything they'd tell me right about now. I felt like a little kid in a cartoon for little girls. Anything could happen. Pinkie broke me out of my trance.

"That's sooooo not true Twilight. Sometimes it's a bunch of random things happening to my body at random times that's supposed to predict the future. I call them 'combos'." Pinkie said all in one breath.

"Combos?"

"Sure! You know, like ear flop then knee twitch and eye flutter?! That means the sky is about to be graced with a beautiful rainbow!" Said Pinkie.

"Yeah, I can kinda see how that could sound ridiculous, Pinkie, but what do I know?" I said, going to open the door for Twilight.

Pinkie then started doing one of her spasms, ear flop, eye flutter then knee twitch.

Just then, the door open on my foot right before Twilight could get hit in the nose. Man am I glad I was wearing steel toe protection that day. Spike was backing out of the door with heavy cargo (books).

"I thought that combo meant beautiful rainbows! I almost got hit!" She screamed.

"You're welcome by the way." I threw in.

"No, you're thinking of ear flop knee twitch then eye flutter. This was an ear flop eye flutter then knee twitch. That means to look out for opening doors." Pinkie said.

"Yeah, I believe your Pinkie Senses, Pinkie, but I can't remember all of them. So I won't. I'm just gonna go back to random stuff happening without warning."

"Suit yourself Xavi." She told me.

"I don't believe this." Twilight said, shaking her head.

"You don't believe because you don't understand!" Pinkie told her.

Twilight then took us both to a lab she had hidden in her basement. ...How does she power all of these equipment?Twilight, what the hell do you do down here?! As if answering my question, Twilight turned to me.

"This is my lab. This is where I do most of my number-based experiments." She told me.

"Are you a mad scientist?" I asked her.

"NO no no, Xavier, I'm not mad, but I do find science fascinating."

"You're not going to perform any experiments on me, are ya?" I asked, jokingly.

"You would let me experiment on you?!?" She asked, instantly zipping over to me, standing on her hind hooves, and leaning on me with her fore.

"Woah woah woah. I wasn't being serious. I'd rather not be dissected like I would be if I were an alien in Area 51. Noooo thanks." This seemed to disappoint her as she started looking at me with teary eyes.

"I wasn't going to hurt you or anything, but I got used to you over the months and forgot your species is still unknown to most of us. Nopony knows what makes you humans tick." She said, her losing her sorrowful voice at the last part.

"No knives, cutting equipment, or injections. I'd rather be in one piece. Hell, you can even use my old Biology text book to help." I told her.

"You have a book on human Biology?!? I'll pay you anything!" She said, forgetting about the pink pony for a moment.

"Nah. It is the only one of its kind here."

"Pretty please with a sugar cube on top!" She said looking at me with those sad pleading eyes.

"Fine. You didn't have to use the sad eyes on me. I mean, damn.." I said peeved. If there's another thing I can't stand, is guilt tripping. by any means. It's a cheap blow to me. I'll compare it for you. If I was bullying a girl for whatever reason, and I stopped, then after I stopped, she turned around and kicked me in the nuts. It's just not necessary. Like guilt tripping me to make me feel bad.

"YES!!! I COULD JUST... JUST..." she pressed her lips against mine before jumping off and hopping around. The kiss wasn't as good as Rainbow's but maybe it was because I didn't expect it? Maybe all mares are relatively good kissers. After a moment, what she did caught up to her and man did she turn red. She stopped and froze in her tracks. Pinkie looked at her in shock. Fuck Pinkie! To say I was shocked would be a huge understatement! First of all, Twilight never seemed like the type to be so quick to randomly kiss anyone!

"I am so so sooo sorry! I was just so happy and excited that it just... happened!" She looks like she's about to cry.

I sighed. I know I'm gonna have to tell Rainbow about this. So many thoughts was running through my mind. This was probably her first kiss. What am I going to tell Rainbow. What if she takes it the wrong way? What should I do? In an internal panic, I asked the stupidest question a guy could ask in a situation like this.

"How was it? Was it nice?"

"What? Well... yes?" She said, her face still red.

Why, Xavier you idiot, why?!? I mentally berated myself. I was cheating on Rainbow Dash! No! I have to do the honest thing and tell her what happened. It was at the heat of the moment. That's all. She won't be mad, right?

I looked around for a distraction and saw Pinkie with a wide grin on her face.

"Pinkie! You brought Pinkie her down here for some reason!" I said, hoping it'd work.

Twilight shook herself out of it. "Oh right! I have tests to run!" She seemed glad that the awkward moments passed. She placed a helmet on Pinkie's head. She had told me to go upstairs to wait for them there. Might as well. The awkwardness is strong down here. While waiting in the library for a while, Spike came in.

"Oh hey Xavier! What's up? Have you seen Twilight?" Spike asked.

"Just waiting for her to finish doing what she's doing with Pinkie down there. She's trying to find an explanation for the Pinkie Senses."

"Yeah, I can't believe how crazy this driving her."

"Yeah, I think she's so crazy for knowledge if you asked me. She even ki- uh, hugged me when I said she could borrow my old biology text book." Spike seemed to catch my slip-up, but not completely.

"What were you about to say?" He asked suspiciously.

"Nothing! Twilight's down stairs if you're looking for her. You are looking for her, right?"

"Oh yeah!" He said as he passed me. He opened the door and hit someone on the other side.

"Spike, you have got to be more careful opening doors like that... can't just swing them open like that." I told him. I mean, who does that?

"What're you talking about?" He asked, turning to see Pinkie. "Oh, hey Pinkie! Have you seen Twilight?"

"Check behind the door, dodo!" I yelled.

Spike shot me a look as Pinkie walked out. I helped Twilight down from behind the door.

She got back on her hooves, groaning."Did you two plan this?" She hissed at Spike.

"Plan what?" Spike asked.

"No, he just walked in the library. Sorry. My foot was on the other side of the door this time."

"This is ridiculous! This can't be happening! This makes no sense!" She started ranting again.

Let it go, Twilight.

"I have to figure this out."

Let it go!

So, that afternoon, Twilight decided to follow Pinkie around in a bush. Where was I? I was being dragged along with her. She said she hired me for the day. God that makes me sound like I'm a prostitute or something. Hiring someone for a day/night... I'm gonna have to have bro change our policy a little bit when I get back. So there I was, lying on Twilight's back so we'd fit in the same bush. I felt like an animal's pelt she was wearing.

"This is degrading." I complained.

"Shush! She'll hear you!" She hissed.

So Twilight went back to spying on Pinkie Pie. She even brought a safari hat and binoculars. This is degrading for me, and wrong to Pinkie. As Twilight was jotting down notes, Spike snuck up behind us.

"Twilight?"

"AAH!" She jumped, flinging me off of her back. Lucky for me, Spike broke my fall. We both were snatched and pulled behind the bush.

"Honestly Spike! Don't you know better than to sneak up on ponies!" She scolded.

"Sorry, but... Isn't that what you're doing?" He asked.

"*cough*YES!!*cough*"

Twilight pounced on both of us.

"NO! I'm doing scientific research and observing Pinkie Pie! Scientifically: Pinkie-us Pie-icus in its natural habitat." She's calling her an 'it' now?

"*cough*STALKER*cough*

Twilight shot me a glare. I looked away and covered my ears to refrain from coughing. A short while, I was pulled back on top of Twilight as Pinkie started moving again. I gave Spike a glare that said "You laugh. You die." As she was stalking Pinkie, we found ourselves watching her in front of Applejack's barn, rolling around. Pinkie's nose twitched and she hid under a horse shoe. Spike tapped on my shoulder and pointed to incoming wasp. Wasp.... Wasp....

...

...Wasp...

"NOPE!" I was gone. Spike and I booked it through the trees and behind the barn. I... Hate... wasp.... However, I was so focused on not being pin-cushioned by wasp that I had forgotten about Twilight. I could hear whimpers and yelps coming from her bush. Man, Twilight, this just isn't your day... Surprisingly, when I got back to her, she was still willing to finish her 'research'. I helped her with the band-aids. I tried not to focus on the fact that I was patching up her rump half of the time, however, Twi's moaning did not help. Or was she groaning. Either way, the noise she made wasn't helping. Eventually, she picked up her binoculars and went back to her spying. By this time, Elsa was singing in my head. (You know the song.)

That was when Pinkie did her door opening combo. Twilight noticed she was standing by an already opened barn door. So the ever-being so skeptic walked right into an opened cellar door. I managed to catch her tail this time, but uh, ever notice how her tail can be kind of straight? She oils her tail. Needless to say, she slipped and fell down the stairs to the cellar. Told you about dem stairs, bro.

One quick trip to the hospital later, she was at it again! In a chair! Bandages! All! Over! Her! Body! She couldn't even raise her binoculars by herself. Then, Spike, being the ever so loyal number one assistant he is, bailed on her when Pinkie did her twitchy tail. A flower pot dropped no her head. I managed to pull her out of the way of the falling anvil and the wagon that came afterwards. In shock, she looked at what could have been her grave, then back at me.

"You owe me a one." I said. She was causing me a lot of stress at the moment. She smiled sheepishly.

"Thank you." She replied.

And then a big ass piano dropped on the pile.

"A big one..." I looked up to see where all of this stuff was falling from. Apparently a few delivery mares made a mistake of leaving their cargo door open on their carriage. Dumbasses.

Pinkie met up with Applejack and as it turns out, she knew we were following her around. This pissed off Twilight to no end. That was until everything Pinkie started shaking, frightening everyone. Even I was wary. Apparently something big is supposed to happen at Froggy Bottom Bogg. So they all rushed over to the place. And yes, I say they, not me. They're my friends, yes. I love 'em. Yes. I may have developed a small teensy crush on Twilight since hearths warming eve, and we kissed, but that mare has been causing me nothing but trouble all day today. So I made my own way to a rocky cliff that was supposedly on the other end of the bog near Ponyville. I was just gonna wait for them. Don't ask how I knew they were gonna come out that way. A while back I got a map of Equestria in case something happened. While I waited, I was gonna level up my Pokemon.

About a half an hour later, I heard screaming. First I saw Fluttershy coming my direction, being the first to jump an extremely hazardous bridge way. Then Spike. Then Applejack carrying Pinkie. On the other end, I saw Twilight being chased by a giant four-headed monster.

"WHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!?"

Of course, just like a certain scene in a movie, the monster destroys the bridge way and Twilight somehow makes it across. I guess Pinkie was right. Something big really did happen.

Twilight agreed with my thoughts, however according to Pinkie's shaking, that monster wasn't the 'doozy'.

"The hydra wasn't the doozy? How could it not be the doozy?! What could be doozier than that?!?"

I looked back down at my 3DS. My Ponyta is evolving.

"Dunno! But it just wasn't it." Pinkie said.

When my Ponyta finished evolving into a Rapidash, I looked up at Twilight and saw her mane in tail replaced with flames. Spike saw the same thing. Like the perfect timing. Unlike my new Rapidash, however, Twilight burned out, finally giving up, admitting that she now believes in the Pinkie Sense. And guess what happened then. Pinkie finally stopped shaking. Turns out, Twilight giving in was the doozy.

"That... doesn't seem all that big of a doozy to me, but whatever. I know nothing." I told them. Twilight kissing me was a better doozy than that...

No one said a thing on the way back. I escorted Twilight and Pinkie back to the library. I think Twilight wanted me around in case something else was gonna fall on her. I spent the rest of the day being her life preserver on the streets with Pinkie around. Things were going well until Pinkie had to open her mouth.

"So whats it like to kiss a human?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight's face went red again, looking at her, then at me. I've seen the movies. I've seen the harem anime. One thing I learned from them. Things never goes well for the guy when two girls like him. So many misunderstandings, to hell if I'm gonna be someone's punching bag over accidents. I'm just gonna tell Rainbow Dash the next time I see her. Twilight followed me when I decided to go home. I told her that she was gonna have to start looking out for herself again soon because it was starting to look like I had a pet unicorn minus the leash.

"You aren't looking for another kiss, are you?" I asked her.

She wildly shook her head no. "I-I just want to make sure nothing else falls on me. And you said you were gonna give me that book! On human biology, remember?" I shrugged. I guess that's a valid reason to follow me?

When I was home, I went up to my room to look for that book. Twi waited downstairs. Wouldn't you know it, Rainbow Dash was in my room, reading a few books about jets that I had stored somewhere. Great.

"Hey monkey boy." She said.

"Hey Skittles. Can I ask you a question?" I asked her.

"Sure. What's up?"

I steeled myself for every possible reaction today. I had to tell her though. "Uh, a mare kissed me today." Rainbow dropped the book and sped up in my face.

"WHO WAS IT?!? I'LL KICK HER BUCKIN' FLANK!" She yelled.

"Calm down! What if it was somepony you know very well?" I asked her.

"Just tell me who!" cried Rainbow.

"Twilight. But it was just in the heat of a moment kind of thing.. She kissed me when I gave her something exciting to study! Don't hurt her, alright? The last thing I want is to come between two people and their friendships. Honestly I thi-" I was interrupted by a hoof covering the mouth.

"I don't wanna hear it." She said.

Oh shit... I'm gonna get it.

"You don't have to say anything else. It's not your fault."

Oh shit... Twi's gonna get it..

"Twi can have ya too if she wants."

"Look, just don't do anything to....wait...what?" I replied

"What? I said she's cool." She said a bit too normal for my taste. "She can join your herd. You humans don't have herds?"

"Nope... we're mostly monogamous." I said.

"Well, I don't mind if you or Dash don't." Said Twilight's voice coming from behind me. Me once again, being scared shitless...

"What is UP with you ponies and sneaking up behind people! That's the third time today!"

Twilight chuckled "Well, my day was far worse." I turned back to looking for the book she wanted and pulled out a six hundred and something page book for her to study.

"Well, I guess this herding thing is a custom I can adopt to. Mormons do it."

"There's a catch to the herding thing, though." Twilight said in a warning voice. "If you want to be with another mare, we have to be okay with the mare being in the herd too." I nodded my head. I suppose that's fair. Just so it won't be a 'Gotta catch 'em all' thing.

Something didn't feel right though. I like Twilight. I have a small crush on her, however, I kinda feel like she 'joined my herd' a bit too quick. I turned to Twilight.

"I guess you can be in the herd, under one condition." This got her attention. "We start hanging out more in general. I mean, it'd be weird to gain a girlfriend I hardly ever hung out with all that much before."

"I see your point." She said, her ears drooping a little.

"I'm still giving you and this 'herd' thing a shot."

"A-Alright."

I looked out the window and saw that it was getting dark.

"So Twilight, are you gonna go home yet?" I asked.

"Can I stay here for a night?" She asked, pitifully. "I had a bad day, and I-"

"Don't wanna risk anything else happening while I'm not around to jerk you from under a falling anvil?"

She nodded her head, glaring at Dash who was trying her best to hold in her laughter.

I was tired. Very tired. I've done more running around than usual, thanks to my new marefriend, and I wanted sleep. Dash had decided to stay too. I guess my bed was big enough for three, or if it wasn't, I was going to sleep on the floor, which I also didn't mind. I told them that this was going to be fine as long as it didn't become a habit or a daily thing. I'm not sure how the others (Jack, Jeff, and Bro) would feel about me being polygamous. I still found myself cuddling more to Rainbow's side, but I tried not to neglect Twilight. She really liked having her ear scratched. Well, if having two girls keeps one from beating the other in my room, I'm all for it.

I was recapping in my head on what went on today. About Twilight. Today was a rough day for her, more so than it was for me. I looked at Twilight. The mare I had a secret guilty crush on, who was trying to sleep. What exactly did I see in her? She's nice when she isn't crazy, she's smart, she's the right amount of cheerful, and she's optimistic about most things. She's a book worm, has a lair of a mad scientist in her basement, but she doesn't seem the type to attempt to do any harm. I found her adorkable. She's an adorable dork. She's also dependable, helpful, and caring. When Rainbow wasn't there, she was. And now she's saying she wants to be my marefriend too. My question is, just what does she see in me.

"Xavier?"

I snapped out of my thoughts/trance and realized that I was staring at her. She was looking dead at me. I also noticed how close I was holding her, which was way closer than it was a few minutes ago. She just smiled and gave me another kiss. This was a more meaningful than the one in her lab.

After the kiss, she smiled again before turning over to face the other side. I went back to my thoughts again. Today was a strange day for her to become a marefriend. She fell in a ditch, was splashed by mud, was slammed by a door, stung by wasp, beaten by stairs, hit on the head with a flower pot, almost got hit by an anvil, almost got crushed by a wagon, and almost got crushed by a piano. Not to mention she was chased by a hydra.

Right then and there, something hit my mind. I patted all around Twilight, rubbing her head, sides, legs, and flank.

"Xavier, what are you doing? We just started-"

"Ponies are fast healers..."

Author's Note

And that's it for Chapter 13. More references for you all. Try to find 'em.

I managed to get most things taken care of so I had enough time to get in another chapter and a half. You're welcome. :pinkiehappy:

I know I'm probably going to get a few criticisms from Twilight herding with Xavier and Dash. Hopefully the end explains it all for you. As for what Twilight sees in Xavier, trust me. You'll get that answer soon enough.

Anyway, leave a comment telling me your thoughts and leave a thumbs up button if you liked it.

Chapter 14: Talented vs Fake

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

Things have been pretty awkward for me and the guys now that I was in a relationship with not one, but two girls. I still wasn't used to polygamy. I was kinda wondering what Twilight saw in me the other day. I mean, sure I'm not going to complain about it, but I wasn't gonna say that curiosity wasn't eating at me at that point. So I asked her the next day. She replied with:

"Well, after that heat-of-the-moment kiss, I've been doing some thinking. You're a good friend who's dependable. You help your friends in more ways than one to be better ponies. You're always there for your friends when they need you, even if you're not there physically. You're generally a nice guy when you're not effected by poison joke, and... you're just.. interesting. I'd like to know you on a closer level."

Makes sense. Following our little deal, Twilight has been spending more time with me, either one on one, or with friends. A lot of times, she'd sign the help chart to ask me to help around the library just to have me around. Speaking of help charts, Traevon had made that policy I told him about. The one that gives us the right to quit a task if deemed asinine or ridiculous. We've never really had any further problems after I was hired to stalk Pinkie all afternoon. Lyra signed a chart asking either me or Jack for hand examination. That girl and hands, I swear. Since Jack was busy with Pinkie that day, I had to go. 'What's the harm?' Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. When it comes to humans, Lyra, like pinkie, is a 'filly in a mare's body.' So, what would I do if Brianna was prodding around me? I'd tickle her, of course. She had a bit of fun, but I had to let her know that there were other people that needed me for more important things. I guess she understood.

Rainbow and I still hang out together. We started going out on lunch dates whenever we could, because why not? The kids are still hanging out with their little groups. I hear that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stopped bullying the Crusaders for not having cutie marks, but instead formed a friendly rivalry between the two groups just so things won't get too hostile. Things are going well. Hell, even Jeff managed to gain some pony friends with those he work with. It seemed like the only one of us without any friends now was Bro. That was until Rarity had that fashion show failure. A certain DJ I was planning on having him meet was hired to perform during the event.They hit it off perfectly. I think they're now sharing their ideas with each other. He introduced her to some of our music and his remixes. She was pretty impressed. Now he spends his free time with her.

Speaking of that fashion show however, I was in no way apart of it. I just went there to watch. One? Rarity wanted to make everyone something for the Gala. I said 'no' to her making a suit for me. She insisted on doing so, but knowing her, she was going to bedazzle every inch of whatever she made for me to wear. We humans may have evolved from a prime-ape species, but that does not mean we love pretty shiny things all the time. I have my own suit anyway. I mean, damn. She acts like I didn't have my own wardrobe in my house. The Wilson brothers and Mr. Clifton on the other hand would need something. The later said that if she decided to pretty him up, he would personally pick off every gem on his suit before wearing it. He was pretty straight about that. Brianna and Jack on the other hand, they both wanted to look flashy despite the later's younger brothers' embarrassment. But that's not all. Some big wig from Canterlot was coming to view the fashion show that the mares were going to be doing. Sure, whatever the hell the mares were wearing were laughable, but this Hoity Toity or whoever was being a major dick about it. I didn't like Rarity, sure, but I wouldn't want this kind of humiliation brought to her, so after the fashion failure, Jeff and I paid Hoity a little visit. We 'suggested' that he gave Rarity another shot with a few cracks of Jeff's knuckles. He got the message. He was kinda glad that we did. He wasn't disappointed with Rarity's "second set" of dresses she made. Rarity wanted to thank me, but I gave Jeff all of the credit. Jeff didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.

-Recap Ended-

Monday 2/21

After my daily morning routine, I went outside to check the help charts and saw that Twilight, once again, had made the first request at the library specifically asking for me to help her. At this rate, she might as well send Spike on a vacation. I understand she wants to spend time with me and get to know me and all, and that's fine, but this has been going on daily. Not what I had in mind, to be honest.

When I got there, I was met with AJ, Pinkie, and fucking Rarity. When we stepped foot and hoof inside of the library, the place was a mess. Books were everywhere. She must've had one of those binge studying nights again. Looks like she really did need my help this time.

"Welp. I think it's time for us to get to work." I said as I started putting books back on the shelves. Twilight and Rarity started magicking the books back on the shelves. They didn't really need any help, so the earth ponies and I decided to team up. They get the lower shelves while I get the upper shelf. Feels so nice to be tallest for once. This took about 45 minutes before we were finally finished.

"Thank you so much for helping me clean up all these books, guys. It was a crazy weekend of studying." said Twilight.

"Yeah, but next time you're done with a book, please put it back." I told her.

We were about to go our separate ways when we heard a scream. I knew who and what it was.

"Don'thitthelibrarydon'thitthelibraryyoubetternothitthelibrarydon'thitthelibrary." I rapidly mumbled.

Rainbow Dash crashed through the library window opening and undid 45 minutes of work. GodDAMMIT she hit the library!

I turned around to everyone coming out from under a floor of books. "I'm not cleaning this up."

Fluttershy came threw the same opening. "Rainbow Dash, you rock. Woohoo~." She looked down at the mess. "Did my cheering do that?"

"Heheh, Sorry about that ladies." Said Rainbow. I raised an eyebrow at that. I'm not a lady. "That was a truly feeble performance."

"Actually, it wasn't all bad." Fluttershy consoled. "I particularly liked it when you made the clouds spin."

"I'm not talking about my performance. I'm talking about yours!" Rainbow argued. "Feeble cheering!"

"What's up, Dash?" I asked.

"Nothin much, monkey boy. Just trying to teach Fluttershy here how to cheer the right way." answered Dash. "I wish you guys can come to Cloudsdale to see me compete in the best young flyer competition!"

"What's that?" Twilight asked.

The young best flyer competition is pretty much a talent show for pegasus, as Pinkie summarized. Dash was planning on going and wished her other friends with better cheering ability would be able to come. The winner got to spend the rest of the day with the Wonderbolts, Dash's idols. Pinkie was on about Dash performing the Sonic Rainboom. I know Dashie has told me about it several times, but I have yet to see it myself.

"Dash, you did say you'd show me this 'Sonic Rainboom' sometime. I think the competition would be a good time to show me and everyone what you're made of." I gave her a playful slug on the shoulder.

"Heheh, yeah. I'm gonna go rest up. Don't wanna over-prepare myself." She turned to Fluttershy. "You on the other hand, better keep practicing! I need a cheering section to match my spectacular performance!" And with that, she was off leaving Fluttershy and the rest of us with the mess she created.

"She's practiced that move a hundred times and she's never even come close to doing it. I don't know if I can cheer loud enough to help her." Fluttershy said before flying off.

"Welp," Twilight started. "I guess we better get this cleaned up, again."

I stayed quiet. Rarity started nudging Twilight to create a spell that would get non-pegasi to Cloudsdale. Oh right... only pegasi could walk on clouds.

"Didn't you see how nervous she was?" She asked. Yeah, I kinda noticed something was strange with Dash. I was just focused on the mess we were all standing in the middle of to notice it. Dash sure knows how to wear a mask.

Rarity and AJ started fussing over Rainbow Dash while I started picking up the mess. I heard the word "Flight Spell" that caught my interest and saw Twilight holding a book.

"A spell that will allow earth ponies to fly for three days." She stated. "Oh, it looks really difficult. I'm not sure I can do it."

"You've got to try!" Rarity demanded.

"Okay, but who's gonna volunteer to be the test subject?" She asked, looking at us.

"I'd go, but magic doesn't have that much effect on me, remember?" I told her.

"Oh... right."

"I will! For Rainbow Dash, I'll go first!" Rarity said.

"Okay, here it goes!" Twilight warned before her horn started glowing.

A blew ribbon-like aura wrapped around Rarity like a cocoon. Before I knew it, there was a bright flash, followed by Rarity with butterfly wings. Everyone was gawking at Rarity. Yeah, they looked pretty I'll admit, but now there was a problem. I turned to Twilight and asked:

"Uh, got enough energy for the rest of us?"

An exhausted Twilight turned to me. "No, I'm sorry. There should be a cloud walking spell in here too, but spells don't work well on you, remember?"

"Well, they would if I were... hm..." I said in thought. Maybe... just maybe...

It was about an hour later when we made it to Cloudsdale via air balloon with Rarity flying by us. I spotted Rainbow Dash from above, but it looked like she was being picked on by three pegasi stallions. I could see the annoyed look on her face. Something from within me started to tremble.

...It was the perfect timing for its eruption...

..The wrath of...

...My inner troll...

So I jumped down from the hot air balloon and landed in between the two groups and growled. Rainbow Dash stumbled back in shock (Probably because this was the last place she'd expect to see me) and Fluttershy 'eeped'. The three stallions shrieked.

"WHAT IS THAT THING!" The one with the dumbbell cutie mark yelled.

"IT'S A MONSTER! RUN AWAY!!!" They booked it after I 'roared'.

I turned back to Rainbow Dash who was on her back and waved. "Hey Dashie. What's up?" Before I knew it, I was on my back against the cloud. Rainbow was pinning me, bouncing like Pinkie Pie high on caffeine.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh you can walk on CLOUDS!"

What she didn't realize was that I was mummified with enchanted wraps from my feet to my shoulders to my wrists. Twilight had used the cloud walking spell on the bands before I put them on, therefore as long as I was wearing those wraps, I couldn't fall through the clouds. I came up with that idea. I just had to use the restroom first before putting them on.

Twilight and the others came after I had explained it to her and they also had the cloud walking spell effect. I think Dash's day got brighter from the look on her face. While Dash and the others were talking, I turned my head to where The Three Stooges ran off to. I could see them. Watching me. I pretended to not notice.

"Hey! We've got some time before the competition. Why don't Fluttershy and I show you around Cloudsdale?" Rainbow Dash offered.

"Sure. I'll feast upon those three ponies later." I said in my Brute (Halo) voice. The other ponies looked at me in confusion. Dash saw my indirect motioning to behind me where the three that were picking on her earlier were poorly hiding and giggled. Twilight saw too and rolled her eyes and walked off. The others followed.

"You know, joking like that may come back to bite you one day." Twilight said.

"It might, but it's worth it." I said, grinning.

Everyone was beholding the sight of the Roman themed cloud city. Well, almost everyone. Rarity was beholding the sight of herself. Get over yourself, Rarity! As we passed along, we were getting quite the attention from everyone. First, everyone was looking at Rarity and gawking at her 'amazing wings' as she flew around. Then, they turned their heads to the tallest member of the group, which was an ape-like monster following behind them. I waved and did the two-fingered peace signs to them. Not like they'd get hand gestures anyway.

First, we went to the weather factory, per AJ's suggestion. Making a factory for weather was only something I've seen in the Red Alert games as a super weapon. These ponies literally make every single snow flake with their own hooves. Rainbow warned us that it was a delicate and careful process, but guess who wouldn't stop flapping her goddamn wings! Rainbow? Wrong answer. Fucking Rarity! Her wings blew snowflakes all over the place causing the ponies to scramble to catch each and every snowflake. Oh man... She is lucky I can't reach her... I'd go Kratos on her and them wings.

Next stop, Rainbow Factory. This was pretty interesting. There were pools of rainbow everywhere. Pinkie, being the somehow-fit glutton she is decided to taste the rainbow. Her head literally changed colors as she breathed out fire.

"Spiiiicyyy!" She said, running off to get water.

I only had one thing in my mind. Yolo! I did the same thing. Have any of you ever had sour skittles? Now imagine if someone put hotsauce in place of the sourness. Why not throw in a few jalapenos in there too?

"WOOOOO! YEAH! Gonna have to take a bottle o this home with me!" If ponies weren't looking at me now, they certainly are now.

Meanwhile, over in Rarity's corner, she was being complimented by The Three Stooges I had chased off earlier. Rarity, keep in mind why you even have wings in the first place! I thought, gritting my teeth.

"Oh look! It's Rainbow Crash again!" The brown one said.

"Yeah! Rainbow... uh.... Crash!" Said the one in the middle one.

"Rarity! What are you doing talking to these guys?!" Rainbow asked

"Oh they were just admiring my wings, Rainbow Dash." replied Traitority.

I just leered at the four with the hardest leer. The three looked at me and laughed.

"Oh look! Rainbow Crash brought a giant ugly pet! Ha ha!"

"Says the low lives who have nothing better to do than to pick on someone with more talent than the three of you put together. Oh hey. The emos called. They want their hair style back." Insert MLG airhorn and trickshot sounds here. I got up close this time, towering over them. "Now, call me a pet one more time. In my face. Can you do it?"

The three looked at each other expectantly. I could hear whispers of "No. You do it!" "I don't wanna do it. You do it!" "No! I already called her Rainbow Crash! It's your turn!" That's all I was able to hear before I couldn't hear them anymore. Why couldn't I? I somehow found them debating over who's brave enough to step up to someone who's not even there. The rest of the group followed behind me.

Rarity flew up beside me. "I can not believe your behavior towards those nice stallions! They were-"

The look I gave her silenced her. "My behavior? You seem to forget why you even have those wings in the first place. You're letting them get to your head!"

She smiled at this. "Well, I'm going to go on and say a human saying that I heard from you and Jack a lot. 'Haters gonna hate.'"

"Oh that is it!"

Twilight magicked me and held me in place."Guys!" Oh man, was Rarity lucky I was now more influenced by Twilight's magic with these wraps on.

Next we went on to the cloud factory, where clouds were made. And guess where most of the attention went to this time? Fucking Rarity!!! Ponies were surrounding her while Rarity just basked in it. You know, at first I thought hm... Maybe there's a reason why I don't like Rarity. Is it because I'm somehow jealous of her? Nope! Not at all! It's her condescending lack of humility that knows no bounds at all! I looked at Rainbow, just watching the attention her 'friend' was getting! Rarity, the one who claimed to have wanted to help her first, was now making her feel worse, and she gave no fucks!!! Even after Twilight tried.

"When I get my hands on that bitch!" I thought out loud that AJ heard me. She just looked at me and shook her head, wordlessly telling me not to do it. When those wings wear off... she has three days to live.

Then someone had told her that she should compete against the mare she originally intended on helping. And the worst part of it all is that she accepted it.

Rarity. I am so fucking done with you for this life and next. Element of Generosity? My ass!! I was mad. There's one thing I won't tolerate and that's backstabbing bitches like her. She was officially dead to me. If Rarity won't comfort her like she promised, I will.

It was about that time for the contestants to be at the stadium. I can tell that Dashie was going to have a nervous breakdown if I didn't do anything. I went backstage to where the contestants were. Sure, the security wanted to stop me, but I dared them to try. I was already in a pissed off mood, and I welcomed any form of outlet for my pent up rage. I barged in. I can see Rainbow cowering in a corner, being contestant number 2. It hurt me to see a once proud and prideful mare that I actually had heavy feelings for, like this. I was angry, but right now, she didn't need angry. She needed caring support from someone she lo- has heavy feelings for. And that was me. Ignoring the announcer on the other side of the stage curtain, I put aside the way of the Sith for a bit and went over to skittles and sat down.

"Hey Skittles." I said, scratching behind her ears.

"I dunno what I'm gonna do?" She said, on the verge of crying. "I'm gonna fail in front of everypony! My friends, those guys, the Princess, and The Wonderbolts!"

"You won't fail." I said, lifting her head up. She looked at me. "Hell, I believe in you. All you need to do now is believe in yourself."

"But what if I can't perform the Sonic Rainboom like I did years ago?"

"Well, firstly if you did it once, you can do it again."

"But..."

"No buts. Repeat after me. 'If 'If's 'and's and 'but's were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.'"

She repeated it.

"Do not lose hope. Have faith in yourself. I know you can do this. You are the fastest flyer in Equestria. And even if you don't win, I'll still have a hell of a time out there watching you. How about this. Win or lose, I'll let you sleep in my bed tonight, and by next morning, you'll wake up with a hot plate of pancakes right in front of you. Sound good?"

She nodded. "Yeah.. You know, monkey boy, you know how to say exactly what a mare need to hear." She stood up and we both kissed. We were getting mixed looks. Derpy in a few others had the 'Daaaaaaw' look on their faces, while a few others were shocked. One of the contestants was a stallion I recognized. Red coat, yellow main and tail, burning cloud cutie mark.

"Look at what we have here. The ape that thinks he's loved." He said. I heard a snort coming from Rainbow. "She's only with you because she feels sorry for you. Nopony else will be with you."

"Says the stallion who's alone and still chasing after a taken mare who believes he's an ass, and frankly, you've done a good job of proving her right." I said, scratching behind her ears. "And frankly, there's a purple unicorn who's also taken an interest in me. One of her friends. Two me, zero you."

"Why you..." He grunted, wings flared.

"Knock it off, Flame Cloud! He's a better stallion and a better pony than you will ever be!" Rainbow yelled at him. Flame Cloud? Where do parents come up with these names?

"Look at him! He's not even a pony!" He said, pointing a hoof at me.

Oh man, perfect opportunity. He gave it to me. "That's saying something, ain't it?" I smirked. #REKT

"OOOOOOOOH!!!"

He wanted to say something else, but he couldn't. So instead, I helped him by pointing him to the other side of the stage before Dash and I kissed again. I turned my full attention back to Dash, now that the nuisance is out of the way.

"You should probably go last. You know, give yourself time to pull yourself together. Just do your best." I told her.

She smiled and hugged me one last time before she went off in search for the largest number. The coordinator called for the first contestant. Looks like my time here is up. I stood up and walked past her. The sight of me sent shivers down her spine. I wanted to chuckle, but I held it until I got out of there and went to take my seat by our friends. There were a lot of eyes on me when I did. The Wonderbolts were even staring at me. I took Skipper's advice and simply smiled and waved. Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. The guards over by where Celestia was sitting were about to take off to confront me, but was halted by the Princess herself. I did my two finger salute and she waved.

Everyone's attention was off of my by the time contestant 10 was up. I was just waiting for the last one. The girls were wondering where Rarity and Rainbow were. I was just waiting for Rainbow. Soon, it was time for the final contestant fifteen. Rainbow was flying out alone, looking much more nervous than she was when I first found her. Well, Rainbow's the final contestant. Maybe Rarity finally found some sense and humility and stepped down for her friend. Maybe I was a bit hasty in my moments of rage. Or so I thought until she came out a few seconds later.

"OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!" I shouted. What the fuck was that thing behind Rainbow! It took a little while until I heard a voice come from it.

Oh... it's Rarity.. Even worse...

I had a situation to diffuse, however. My outburst had caused several concerned stares to look at me. Celestia couldn't help but to giggle. She thought I was being silly. Rarity was glaring at me (I gave no shits), and Twilight waved.

"Sorry! It's an alien joke. Heheh... RIGHT?!?" She said roughly through her teeth.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess..." I glared back at Rarity. I wasn't too hasty at all... I wasn't hasty enough..

So the performance went on. Rarity started off dancing to some symphony music. Rainbow was doing the cone dodge first, but messed up and ended up crashing into a wall in front of us. It was then I heard the three stooges.

"Nice work Rainbow Crash!!! HAHAHA!"

THAT'S IT!!!

I jumped off of our cloud and onto theirs. There was literally no escape for them. I wasn't going to hurt them, not really. I was just going to make this the most uncomfortable situation for all of them.

"Hello boys. How're things going?"

"U-uuuh.." They all said in unison.

"How about no more of that 'Rainbow Crash' talk alright?" I told them. They started shifting uncomfortably when I wrapped my arms around their necks, grinning. The looks on their faces raised Rainbow's spirits a little bit before she went back to do her thing. Rainbow then tried her cloud spinning moves she showed me a week ago, but that also went wrong as a cloud went hurling towards Celestia. After that little mishaps, Rainbow took off, going higher up in the atmosphere. Rarity was going higher too before she was between the stadium and Celestia's sun.

"Look upon me Equestria, for I AM RARITY!!!"

Then, the unforeseeable thing happened. Rarity's wings caught on fire and burned instantly. She started falling. I was grinning at her lengthy fall and her screaming. I got a few stares, but luckily they believed I was hanging out with three good friends and didn't understand the weight of the situation. My face dropped when the Wonderbolts sprung into action, only to fail and get knocked out by a flailing Rarity. YOU FUCKING.. And then the body count went higher. I know it's wrong for anyone in their right mind to wish death upon another, but I was not in my right mind. I actually hoped that Rarity actually died. I hated her fucking guts.

I watched as Rainbow Dash dove down through the arena to save her 'friend' and idols. Rainbow was going fast. Really fast. So fast to the point where I had forgotten about Rarity and the three star members of the Wonderbolts. I was now worried about Rainbow. I let go of the three and peered overhead.

Wasn't my best move.

One of the three took the opportunity to kick me off the cloud. Now I was falling, or I would be had Twilight not caught me with her magic and pulled me up to her cloud. The Princess saw this and sent a motion to her guards. While I was floating up to her cloud, I heard it. A booming sound and a large rippling circular horizontal wave of rainbow coloring that went outwards in all direction. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. She had saved the Wonderbolts and the wingless bug while going so fast that she was still leaving a trail of rainbow behind her. She was even gracious enough to give us all a glittering rainbow over the stadium!

Everyone started cheering after she landed. However, my booming voice drew her attention the most. ....along with everyone else around me that nearly got startled off of their clouds.

"YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! I TOLD YOU! YOU COULD DO IT! YOU DID IT! YEAH! YEEEEAH! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

The last part sounded like I was dying. This is also bad with high volume. I covered my mouth, looking at everyone. Even Dash was a bit concerned. I waved at everyone, a bit embarrassed. Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. I could hear Celestia laughing at me up there. Next time, I'm bringing a sign.

The best part of the day for me wasn't over yet though. The ponies had to carry Rarity back to the balloon because she couldn't walk on clouds. She looked at all of her friends and me (I wasn't her friend at all.)

"I want to apologize to all of you for getting so carried away with my....beautiful wings!" She started. "I guess I just lost my head." The ponies all forgave her. She even apologized for Rainbow for selfishly getting in the way of her dreams for her own fame. The apologies should've meant nothing by then, but it did to the ponies. I just glared at her harder.

"Aw it's cool. Everything turned out alright in the end, right?" Rainbow sighed. "I just wish I could've met the Wonderbolts when they were awake." She said as I saw the mentioned ponies in uniform walk up behind her.

"Behind you, Dash." She looked at me confused before a hoof tapped her shoulder. She turned around and saw them.

"Oh my gosh ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoooosh!" Here she goes again.

"So you're the little pony who saved our lives." The yellow mare with the flame-like mane and tail said. "We really wanted to meet you, and say thanks."

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh." Get a grip, Rainbow! Heh, geez.

Then the princess arrived. Everyone bowed, save for me. I walked up to her and held out my fist an it met with her royal hoof. "Glad you can make it."

"Hello, my little human." Celestia greeted.

"Princess, I'm sorry for ruining the competition. Rainbow Dash here is really the best flyer in Equestria." Rarity said. Don't you fucking forget it.

"I know she is, my dear. That's why for her incredible act of bravery and her spectacular Sonic Rainboom, I'm presenting the grand prize for best young flyer to this year's winner, Miss Rainbow Dash!" Celestia said, putting some sort of crown on Rainbow's head. Rainbow Dash was 'ohmygosh'ing as she was picked up and carried away. I decided to follow her. She deserves the best day ever right now, especially after all of the things she's been through. After a few victory rounds, we went back to the balloon.

"This really is the best day ever!" Dash said cheerfully. It really is. I don't even think I'm gonna bother bringing up-

"Hey Rainbow Crash!"
"Dash!"
"Oh. Sorry.. Rainbow Dash, uh, we just wanted to congratulate you on winning the competition."

"Yeah and uh, sorry Score tried to push your uh, human off the clouds near the end of your performance."

"NO DON'T-" I yelled, but it was too late.

"HE WHAT?!?!" Rainbow's good mood was gone.

Celestia stepped between Rainbow and the two bullies. "Rainbow, my guards have him in custody. You need not worry about anypony else."

"We didn't think he'd try to push him off, he doesn't even have wings." Said the brown pony.

"I don't wanna hear it!" She screamed. "The three of you have been a pain in my flank ever since I was a filly! You pick on me, continuously putting me down, you insult my friends, and now you attempt to off the one pony, no, person I'm in love with! Just go away! Don't bucking talk to me ever again!"

I watched as the two walked off with their heads hung low. Man, I guess I'm glad I'm not on her- ... why is she looking at me like that?

"And you! Why didn't you tell me about this first?! Don't you think I'd wanna know if somepony tries to kill you?!?"

"Well, I was gonna tell you tomorrow instead. Today's about you, not me. This is supposed to be the best moment of your life, right? You get to spend an entire day with your lifetime idols. I didn't wanna be the one to be a downer on the brightest moment, especially after everything else that's happened. I mean, look at you now. You're all upset when just a moment ago, I've never seen you any happier. You're the winner of this competition, champ! Besides, I'm still here, aren't I?" I looked at my savior. "Speaking of which, I owe you one Twi." Twilight only smiled and nodded.

"Y-you... You moron!" Rainbow said, trying not to smile through her tears. She flew up to me and hugged. "Please, next time just let me know."

"Sure." I said.

"Pinkie Promise?"

I held out my pinky finger to her.

"Uh... what's this?" She asked.

"My pinky finger. I don't know how this'll work since you don't have fingers and all, so..." I wrapped my pinky finger around her hoof she raised to the best of my abilities. Didn't happen though. She took the opportunity to yank my hand and pulled me into yet another kiss.

"You're the most awesomest guy a girl can ask for, ya know that, monkey boy?" She said, giving me a bump on the shoulder.

"I guess. Thanks though." I said, putting her in a headlock.

"Hey! Watch the crown!" She chuckled.

"If yer done goin all mushy on us, we can go back to Ponyville." AJ ruined the mood.

"Sorry girls. I've got plans. See ya later monkey boy! Love ya!" Rainbow called out with a wink before she went with the Wonderbolts.

We descended on Twilight's hot air balloon and everyone went home. The Crusaders were at home while the being watched by Trae.

"Hey."

"Sup?"

"Just gettin back?"

"Yup. Just came from a city made out of clouds."

"I know." Trae held up a newspaper called Cloudsdale Today. Rainbow Dash being the winner of the New Flyer's competition made the front page with a picture of her being carried by her friends. Good for you, Dash. You deserve it. But then in another article on the page, head titled:

Unknown Beast in the Clouds: Intelligent and Possibly Dangerous.

There was a really blurry poor resolution picture of me, almost if they took the picture from a distance and tried to take the picture of a picture to focus on me. I look like big foot in that poor resolution photo.

"Looks like people are gonna start hunting us to put us in cages." I joked.

"You need to be more careful." He warned.

"Yeah yeah, alright Dad." I went upstairs and flopped straight on the bed. The walking around, the excitement, and Raging at Rarity had mentally exhausted me a bit. Fucking Rarity... I still haven't forgiven her for what she did to Dash. Rarity's selfishness has caused her a lot of pain today. She broke her word, and blew the rest of us off when we tried to remind her. Twilight gave her a gift, and Rarity took it and flaunted it in her face. It'll be a long while before I forgive that hoe. I just hated her. I hated her so badly. Yesterday, I just didn't like her, but after what happened today, I hated her.

After a while, I heard the three pony crusaders say goodbye to the two human ones. The sun was going down. I heard a tap on the window. I leaned up and saw Fluttershy. She must be here to take the fillies home. I opened the window and she flew in.

"Hey Fluttershy. What's up?"

"Oh nothing. Just here to take the little ones home.. if that's okay." She said.

"So uh, whatcha need?"

"I just wanted to say thanks for making my best friend happy. She really really cares about you a lot."

"I know. I care about her a lot too, but aren't the others your best friends too?"

"Well yes, I they are, but she's been there for me since I was a little filly in flight school. It means a lot to see her happy this way."

"Well, I try to make all of my friends and fillyfriends happy. You, Rainbow, Twilight, AJ, Spike and Pinkie." I stated.

Fluttershy didn't miss it at all. "Well... what about Rari-"

"Fuck Rarity." I bluntly said.

"Wha-"

"Fuck. Rarity." I repeated myself. "I heavily despise her." I knew 'hate' wasn't in her dictionary.

"But...why?" She asked. Fuck it. I'm using the word.

"I hate her, and it's gonna take a really good reason for me to not hate her, and I mean a really good reason. A good reason to not want her to go away and never return. If you really wanna know why, you can ask Rainbow because I'm done talking about it."

"B-but... she's your friend." Fluttershy got closer.

"Her 'friendship' isn't the kind that I want." I said, using quotes. "I want nothing to do with her and her type..."

"Why do you hate Rarity?" a new voice behind me asked. I turned to see Brianna. Shit... how long has she been there?

I gave out a long sigh. "Listen. You're young. You don't understand yet, but hopefully you never will have to go through something as horrible as betrayal ever."

"What's a bee-trey-al?" She asked.

"It's when you put your trust in someone, such as a friend, and they use that trust against you. Like breaking a promise, or telling a secret, or worse, ditching you when they find someone/something better." I explained.

"That sounds mean.. but Rarity isn't mean.." She protested.

"If only you were there, sis. Say goodbye to Fluttershy and get ready for bed. It's almost your bed time."

"Bye Fluttershy!" She said to the mare, getting a smile from her in return.

"I think you should get those girls home before their parents/siblings start to worry. I'll see you later."

"O-okay.. goodnight Xavier." She said as she flew out of my window. I closed it and flopped back on the bed.

Three minutes later, another knock on my window. Fuck! I turned my head wondering who the fuck I should tell to fuck off.

It was Rainbow. She was grinning at me through the window. I relaxed and let her in. As soon as I did, she wrapped both of her fore hooves around my neck and gave me the deepest kiss she's ever given me so far.

"You don't know how much I love you right now, Xavier! Hanging with the Wonderbolts all day was awesome! Today was the best! day! ever! And it's all thanks to my friends, and you. That pep talk really helped." She smiled, looking at me with those magenta eyes.

And I just looked back into 'em. "You've earned it."

She nuzzled her cheek against mine, hugging me tighter. "What did I ever do to deserve a stalli- uh, man like you and how did I do it?"

A grin creeped on my face. "Well, you started off by attacking me, then tried to attack my sister, and then-" I was cut off.

"I know, I know. If I could go back in time, I'd kick my past self's flank for that."

"I know you would've. I'm glad I decided to aim for the vase instead of at you." I said.

"Yeah. My head would've ended up like that vase!"

"We never did find out who threw it."

"I did. She apologized for it."

"Who was it?"

"Psh! Your mood was sour before I got here. I saw it on your face. I wouldn't tell you now."

"Quite perceptive aren't you? Yeah, you're right." She really was.

"What's bothering you so badly?"

"I'll tell ya later, but hey. You showing up tonight improved my mood, so... Thanks."

"It was nothing..." She said, landing and sitting on my bed. "Nothing besides you owing me breakfast in bed tomorrow morning."

"Of course. I had nearly forgotten." I chuckled, closing the window behind me.

"Glad I was here to remind ya, monkey boy. Come back to bed already."

I closed the door and turned off the lights first before heading to bed. I was pretty tired and I needed rest to clear my head of today's fuckery. Rarity. Bullies. Rarity again. Nervous Dash. Rarity. Bullies again. Rarity. Depressed Dash. Rarity. Bullies pushing me off the cloud to my death.

A cyan hoof boop to the nose pulled me out of my current thoughts. I really need to calm down. I was pretty glad that I have more people to depend on than Jack. I scratched behind Rainbow's ears. She was curled up beside me and closed her eyes. I ended up doing the same shortly after. I had to admit, it was easier to sleep when she was around.

Author's Note

And that does it for Chapter 14. Xavier and Rainbow's love for each other has grown as much as Xavier's dislike for Rarity. Will there be any chance of Xavier to get along with Rarity? Leave a comment on your thoughts of the chapter.

Also, I colored in the quotes to show who's talking. I feel like typing "he said" or "she said" all the time might get annoying to the readers. You tell me, should I color the quotes or the entire sentences? Or would you rather things stay the same? Also, tell me from who's point of view would you like see more of.

Leave a comment on what you think about this chapter and a thumbs up if you liked it.

Next Chapter: Crusader's night out.

Chapter 15: Crusader's Night Out.

Chapter 15: Crusader's Night Out

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

The day after the Young Flyer's Competition, as promised, I made sure Rainbow woke up with a plate of breakfast in front of her. Yeah, I got cooking lessons from Pinkie and Hiroto, the former somehow appearing in our house that morning. This'd make her a suspect for the case of my missing phone. I also added an a few ingredients like cinnamon and.. dandelions in the mix. Dash liked it, but she said she prefers violets. I can't tell the difference. Not like I eat flowers anyway. She had to leave for work earlier that day though so she couldn't enjoy it as much as she wanted to. Then Twilight stopped by to spend some time with me and Jack since nobody needed any help that day. For the first time, she played the Wii U with us. Pinkie joined soon after. It was fun teaching Twilight though. She kept wondering not only what the buttons do and how to play the game, but how it even worked. I gave her a look and replied with a simplistic answer.

"Ask Hiroto. He's the techno geek around here."

While we had managed to teach her how to play the game and what doesn't do what, after she's had enough fun, she decided to ask Hiroto on how 'wireless technology' worked. I wanted to see Twilight's reaction as he explained. He told her that their average tech was too primitive to comprehend wireless technology, especially when they haven't even invented the phone yet. I can't understand any of the gobbledygook he was saying, but it sure caught Twilight's attention and her quill and paper active. This is when I decided to introduce her to an invention called...

'THE PEN!'

Mom keeps a lot of pens. Too many pens actually. There are several bags and packages each that hadn't even been opened in the study. We let Twi take a few to use and to study how they're made so she could make them herself under one condition. She doesn't sell it. Reason being, Mr. Ink and Mrs. Quill would go out of business and they have a colt to feed. Featherweight I think his name is. Nice kid, but need braces. Twilight decided the nicest thing to do would be to share the invention with them too. Within a week, Ponyville became the founder of pens throughout Equestria.

I have been trying to spend more time with Twilight. She is my fillyfriend too, but lately she's been busy with her studies. Well, guess I could understand. She does have a lot of work on her shoulders with being the Princess's personal student and all. Either that or she really loves studying. Spike had to reassure me that it's just what she does. She's a studyholic. Knowing this, I had decided to feed my inner troll a bit and downright mess with her during her studies. This may or may not include excessive tickling, horn poking, spanking, falling on her randomly, more tickling, picking her up or a random piggy back ride, making Spike burp on the book she's reading(it got sent to Celestia. She shoved me out of the library.), more tickling, and cuddling. She found it cute most of the time, which is the first for me. No one's called me cute before. Maybe that's why she tolerated it mostly.

-Recap Over-

It's 02/28, Sunday. I was out and about almost all day today doing various tasks for the townsmen when I noticed something very unusual. Twilight was missing all day today. I normally see her at least once or twice today. Usually when she wasn't on any wacky adventures with her friends, or with me, or out to eat with anyone, she was in her library studying. I went there earlire today and she wasn't there. Spike was home alone dusting the place. I asked him what was up and he told me that she went out for research or something. I thought nothing of it at first until people started asking questions. I even started getting a few accusational claims against me saying that I had eaten her. When I denied it, they said that they'd find her remains in the garage or found her tied up there. Nice try. I'm glad AJ was there when I denied those claims.

As time went on, I was starting to worry just a tiny bit. It was around 8 o clock. It was getting dark. Really dark. I was going to have to search for her. I couldn't do it alone however. I got the rest of the crew to join me. Someone else was going to have to look after the kids though, and it wasn't Hiroto. As clever a kid he is, and he's thirteen, he's a hermit most of the time and won't really keep an eye on them. Brianna likes Fluttershy a lot. Guess I could leave them over there. I walked downstairs to get the kids and found the two crusaders air-guitaring again. It's their thing, Xavier. Just grab the kids and go. Hiroto decided to come with us for some reason. Probably bored. The walk seemed longer than it already was with Jonathan asking 'are we there yet' constantly. I was glad when we got there.

-HIROTO'S POV-

We were finally there. My little brother had finally decided to stop pestering Xavier and banged on Fluttershy's door. I cannot wait for him to grow older and more mature. He must've forgotten about Miss Fluttershy's timid nature. Fortunately for us, one of their friends opened the door.

"Howdy Johnny!" Apple Bloom greeted.

"Apple Bloom! Don't answer the door for strangers!"" I heard a meek voice come from behind her. "Oh.. Hello Xavier. What brings you here?"

"I was hoping you'd look after the kids, Flutters." Xavier explained.

"Ehem!" Why do I have to remind everyone that I'm not a kid anymore.

"And Hiroto. Since he's not a kid anymore."

"I'm sorry but... i'm a little-"

"Hi girls what're you doing?!" Jonathan said not so quietly.

"We're about to play a game!" Scootaloo shouted.

"GAME!!! I WANNA PLAY!" Brianna and Jonathan said in unison before rushing in.

"Thanks for taking the time to look after them too. You really are the Element of Kindness."

I walked in after the two. I noticed there was a tower of wood nailed together on upside down table stand. Someone had tried to make a table out of it. Someone should put that thing out of its misery. Or atleast get it repaired. I knew I was the boy for the job. As I was working on the table properly, Miss Fluttreshy came back in.

"Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about that game?" She said.

"What's it called?! What's it called?!" asked my loud hyperactive brother.

"It's called 'ssssssshhhh!'"

"I WANNA PLAY!!!" Exploded Jonathan, causing Miss Fluttershy to flinch.

"I've heard of that game. Humans call it 'The Quiet Game' while I call it the 'Shut up so I can hear myself think' game. Not a fair game, Miss Fluttershy. My little brother is going to lose." I told her, half done with restoring her table.

"I WILL NOT!" Jonathan protested.

"You just did."

"Ah'm bored!" Said Applebloom

"Me too!" Scootaloo added. "What do we do now?!"

Apple Bloom somehow came out of the chimney. "How about Cutie Mark Crusaders Coal Miners?"

The other two pony crusaders joined her in the chimney. "YEAH!"

"NO!!"

"Aw..."

I had put the table back to where it was when Miss Fluttershy attempted to put them to bed.

"You go to bed too, Hiroto." She said from atop the stairs. "Little colts like you should be in bed at this time."

What did she just say? I turned to her.

"Miss Fluttershy, I understand you don't mean any harm, but I am not a colt and I am not a kid! I am a teenager now. Not a kid." I thought up of a clever idea. "Besides, human teens are allowed to stay up as late as they want."

"Oh.. well, I guess it's okay if you stay up late then..." I waited for her to go back to check on the others when I fist pumped. Yes!!! It was but a few minutes of peace and quiet until I heard one of the girls singing like she belonged with the Jackson 5. She was pretty loud too that it woke the chickens. I couldn't help but to chuckle. When the singing stopped, the girls and boy rushed out of the door to the chickens. Jonathan and I watched the kids chase the chickens. Miss Fluttershy was trying to calmly stop the kids but was failing. So she stopped being calm.

"KIDS!!!"

This stopped the girls right in their tracks. Miss Fluttershy went to gather the chickens and put them back in their coops, but they wouldn't have it. That is until she leered at them. They backed away slowly into the coop. Everyone went back up stairs. Except for me. I think I was just gonna chill here on the couch. A few minutes later, Miss Fluttershy came downstairs.

"Hiroto, do you need anything?"

"No thanks, Miss Fluttershy."

"Oh.. okay.. And you know there's no need to be formal. You can just call me Fluttershy... if that's okay with you.."

"Since you were so kind enough to have us over, is there anything you'd like for me to do?" I asked, readjusting my glasses.

"No, no.. You're a guest. You don't have to do anything for me. Besides, you already fixed my table."

"Alright. I'm starting to see why Brianna likes coming here to see you."

"Well she has been pretty helpful with the animals and it's been easier having her around. N-not to mention fun.."

"Ah. She is an animal person."

"Yeah. She was telling me about all types of animals that I've never seen before. Even ones she don't like. Like the muss-kee-toe."

"Yeah. I'm not too fond of those either."

"What is it?"

"It's an insect that sucks blood for a living. They have no blood themselves. If you kill it and it leaves blood behind, it's not theirs. It's someone else's."

Miss Fluttershy seemed uneasy at this."W-why kill it? You can tell it to go to a hospital and get blood there."

"One, they spread diseases. Two, you can't talk to them like you can with your animals. Don't you know this since you're an animal expert?"

"I've never seen one before."

"Wait... there aren't any mosquitoes here?"

"I don't think there is.."

I was grinning. Never again would I have to deal with those parasites sucking on my blood and possibly injecting me with West Nile disease.

"That's great!"

Her ears twitched as if listening for something. "The kids have been really quiet upstairs. I think I'm going to check on them to see if they're " She flew upstairs. She zipped back down not more than a few seconds later. "The kids are missing!"

"WHAT?!?"

I rushed upstairs, and sure enough, the bed sheets weren't on the bed, but tied to the leg of the bed and leading out the window. I looked out of the window and saw hoof, foot, and talon prints going into the Everfree Forest. Those little brats. I'm going to tell Jack about this. I knew that Jonathan had something to do with their escape. That's the same trick Jack did when he went to escape to sneak off to his ex girlfriend's house. The old cloth rope trick.

Miss Fluttershy was in a panic when I got downstairs.

"They were my responsibility! Oh I let everypony down!"

"Calm down! You didn't do anything wrong. You'd never taken care of human kids before. Ponies can't tie knots without magic, and Sweetie Bell isn't too good with that at the moment. They went to the Everfree Forest chasing an escape chicken."

"We need to go after them! Stay here!"

"You're not going out there by yourself."

"I said, stay here." She tried giving me the same look she gave the chickens to cooperate.

I tilted my glasses again causing the reflection from the light to hit her eyes. "I'm sorry Miss Fluttershy, but I am not a chicken, and with that said, that trick will not work on me. Going there alone would be suicide. I'm coming with you whether you like it or not. We're wasting time discussing this."

Her ears went down a little as she gave out a sigh in defeat. "Okay..." So both of us ventured into the Everfree in search of the missing younglings while Miss Fluttershy was mumbling about her biting off more than she could chew.

-Brianna's POV-

"Good escape plan, Johnny!" AB said walking beside Jonathan. It really was. I was impressed that he even came up with it.

"Aw it was nothin'. Just somethin I learned from my big brobro." He said proudly. We were following the tracks to find Fluttershy's chicken. AB even started 'chicken calling'.

"What are you doing?" Scootaloo asked.

"Calling for the chicken."

"That is not how you call a chicken!" Scootaloo objected.

"Oh and you know how to call a chicken?" Asked AB.

"I know that's not the way."

"Then show me." Dared AB

"I don't have to show you!"

"You're just chicken."

"Am not!"

"Oh wait! Now I know how to call a chicken!" AB said before 'Scootaloo calling'.

"SHHH! Did you forget that there are monsters in this forest?!" I hissed

"Girls! We won't find the chicken or our cutie marks by arguing." Sweetie Belle continued.

"She's right. The quicker we move the quicker we can get out of here!" I added in. I didn't like this forest. Not after the close call with the wood wolves. I went ahead with Sweetie Belle.

-Hiroto's POV-

Fluttershy and I were following the prints left by the crusaders. I was trying to calm her down. Not only was she worried for the girls, but she was also spooked by the forest. I couldn't blame her. This forest didn't seem right, especially during the night. She was tense. It showed when she stepped on a branch.

"EEP! What was that!?" She said, backing into a tree which scared her too. She darted off in a random direction.

"Miss Fluttershy! Wait up!" I had to run after her. I wasn't the athletic type, but being alone in this forest wasn't a good thing for me either. While I was running after her, I saw something further head. It looked like a familiar pony.

"Twilight? Is that you?" She said, sounding hopeful.

When we got closer, we found out it was her. Only a statue version of her.

"Twilgiht... what's happened to you? Oh no! If you've been turned to stone than that must mean... Oh no! The girls!" WIth that, she zipped off, leaving me behind. I was now alone with the turned-to-stone unicorn.

"She's been like this for a while now..." A new voice said.

I turned around. "Xavier! What're you doing here?!"

"I was looking for Twilight... I found her.. She asked for my help with her research, and we split up for a bit. I heard her scream, rushed back, found her like this... I saw some chicken-headed lizard rush off into the bushes. And now, she's stuck this way... I should've never left her alone."

"Where are the others?" I asked him.

"Hell if I know. And might I ask what you and Flutters were doing here?"

"You remember when Jack once snuck out of his house to see Rachel?"

"Yeah. He regrets ever being with that slag. What of it?" He asked me.

"Jonathan learned from it and snuck out of the cottage with the girls.." I do not like breaking bad news.

"...Brianna. Is she with them?"

"Yes?"

"MOTHERFUCK!!!" He started pacing around a bit before he stopped infront of me. He reached in his jacket and pulled out a handgun. This wasn't the Smith and Wesson handgun he usually brings. This was an Uzi. "You stay here and protect Twilight I'm going after them."

"Xavier WAIT!!!" It was too late. He was already gone. There I was. Alone with the stone unicorn.

-Brianna's POV-

We were walking while Scoots and AB were arguing with each other until Fluttershy found us.

"Kids! Thank goodness I found you! You have to leave the forest at once!"

"But we hadn't found the chicken yet!" Sweetie argued.

"There's no time for that! There's a cockatrice on the loose!""

"What's a cockatrice?" I asked her.

"It's a frightening creature with the head of a chicken and the body of a snake! Now come on!"

Seriously? We walked past her. A head of a chicken and a body of a snake? Is it gonna peck us to death?

"That doesn't sound scary! That sounds silly!"

"If Ah ever saw one of these cockatrices, I'd look it in the face and tell it how silly it is!"

"No! Never look a cockatrice in the eyes You look a cockatrice in the eyes-!"

She was cut off when we spotted the chicken. We ran after it. We cornered it in a bush. That's when we saw another chicken. Two escaped chickens! Fluttershy'll thank us big for this!

When we got close, the first chicken dropped. The second lifted its long snakelike body out of its bush. It cocked at us and flew after the other chicken. All it did was stare at the chicken and it turned into stone right on the spot. It turned to us. Every girl shrieked and hid behind me. Why?! I'm scared of that thing too!!! Jonathan on the other hand reached in the back and under his pants pulled out a hammer. He must've snagged it from downstairs! And then he started singing.

"Dud du-dud du-dud dud dud DUD DU-DUD DU-DUD DU DUD~"

"Johnny! What're you doing?!?" AB shouted!

-Jonathan's POV-

The chicken snake made me mad! I'm gonna smash its brains out! I was holding my hammer. I knew the chicken can't turn me to stone! I'm stone proof! If he tries to turn me into stone, I'm gonna tell my body to not turn into stone! And my body knows that I know best! The cockatrice was staring at me with its red eyes!

"Dunna du-dunna dudunnananana dunna du-dunna du-dunnananana~" I kept up that fight theme from that game Jack plays for morale! He hurt the poor chicken! I jumped at the chicken, swung my hammer at it but missed! I jumped back so I could get a good aim next time! It just squawked at me. It tried staring at me like Fluttershy but I wasn't gonna let it get away with it! I STAND FOR JUSTICE!!! I swung at him again! I missed again! DANGIT! He tried to hit me with the claws on his feet but I BLOCKED IT WITH MY SLEEVES FROM MY FAVORITE JACKET!!!

"I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!"

"You get 'em Johnny!" I heard. AB and the other Crusaders are rooting for me! I CANNOT LOSE!!!

" What are you doing?!?" Miss Butterfly called me! But I was too busy in the heat of battle to pay attention to riff-raff on the outside! I HAD JUSTICE TO DELIVER!!! But I couldn't do that because Miss Butterfly was standing in between me and the chicken snake monster! She was giving it that leer! The monster leered back at her turning her into stone.

Wait! This is my chance! It's distracted!!! With all the strength I could muster, justice screaming from the DNA of my body, I lifted the hammer, jumped up and BROUGHT THE HAMMER DOWN ON THE CHICKEN MONSTER'S TAIL!!!

I bet I did tons of damage! It squawked in pain from my JUSTICE BLOW! I hit it in the head really hard to knock it down and I kicked at it!

"Jonathan! Stop!" Miss Butterfly cried.

"He hurt the innocent chicken! I AM THE JUSTICE DELIVERER-ER!!!"

"But it can turn the stone chicken back to normal!"

I looked at the chicken snake monster. "DO IT OR SO HELP ME IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE I WILL HIT YOU AGAIN!" The chicken snake monster was looking at me like 'you're not my dad so you cant tell me what to do'.

"OH YEAH?!?" I was about to hit him with the hammer.

"STOP IT THIS INSTANT, JONATHAN SHELBY WILSON!!!" Xavier ran out to us out of nowhere with his gun drawn aimed at the chicken snake monster. HE'S GONNA SHOOT IT! YES! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!!!

"You say this thing can turn Twilight back?" He asked Miss Butterfly.

"Yes."

It started staring at Xavier to try to stone him too but it wouldn't work because he's stone proof too!

"Fluttershy. You can talk to animals. Tell it to turn Twilight back or else this will happen." He shot a branch off of his tree with his gun! AWESOME! WE'RE GONNA WIN FOR SURE!

Miss Butterfly gave the chicken monster that look again and started talking to it and she got in its face! The monster was shaking! I gripped my hammer harder! IT HURT MISS SPARKLE TOO!!! The chicken snake monster did it. I stepped on its tail so it couldn't run away.

"NO you don't! You're going to chicken jail!" I said to it. "You lose! I win-i mean WE WIN!" I yelled! "DU-DU-DU-DUUN DUUN DUUN DU-DUDUUUUUUN!!!!"

-Xavier's POV-

It's been a while since I face-palmed so hard to the point where it left a mark. This kids picked up some bad habits and watch too many video games. The cockatrice was struggling to get its tail out from under Jonathan's foot.

"Wha... What happened?" That voice...

"Twilight?" It was her! IT WAS ACTUALLY HER! NOT STONE! I ran over there and tackled her, giving all of my hugs, ignoring the Asian with glasses behind her. "You're okay!!!"

"Xavier, please! You're squeezing me!" Holy crap I was. I let go of her. "Thanks... Now can anypony tell me what happened? Xavier, why're you crying?"

Was I crying? No. They couldn't know that. "I'm not crying! I have allergies!" I lied.

"Xavier and Twilight sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Jonathan teased.

I turned to him and smiled. "Jonathan in his room sitting in a corner. G-R-O-U-N-D-E-D. You too, Brianna."

"WHAT?!?" They said in unison.

"You heard me. No Wii U or games or anything." I had the authority, and when I tell Jack and Traevon what they did, they'd do the same. We all walked safely back to Ponyville I had explained to Twilight what happened.

"You really stayed by my side when I was turned to stone?"

"Yeah, until Hiroto came along. I told him to guard you while I went after my sister."

She started walking closer beside me, nuzzling my hand. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"I can't see through this forest!" Brianna complained.

"I'd help you but I don't have my phone. Where is that thing? I hadn't seen it in months!"

"Oh. I forgot to tell you. I have it. I found it in between the couch cushions at the library. I had to resist the urge to study it." She joked.

"Yeah. Taking apart alien tech can be dangerous. It could explode." That made her stop in her tracks.

"It's not going to explode, is it?"

"No. That part was a joke."

"Good... The very last thing I need right now is for a blown up library."

"I promise I won't blow up your library." I chuckled.

We reached my house. "I think I should head on back to the library as soon as I can. Spike's probably worried sick."

"I know I was." She jumped up on her hind-legs and kissed before going on her way.

"Bye Xavier. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be sure that I do." With that, she left. I went inside after a long day. Jack was in the living room.

"Hey dude. Didja find her?"

"Yup." So far, Jack is the only one that know about herding and that Twilight and I are a thing. I told him earlier about it a week ago. His reaction? I got a huge grin from him. He's gonna try to catch 'em all, isn't he? "And please don't ask where and how because it's a really long story and I'm tired."

"I wasn't gonna ask, dude."

"Fine. I wasn't gonna tell you anyway."

"Whatever dude."

I went upstairs and found a blue rainbow-maned ball of fluff instead of a pillow on my bed. Rainbow... I found the pillow on the floor. Didn't feel like using the bed today anyway. I took out the sleeping bag from my closet and set it up before crawling in and hitting the sack. I fell asleep shortly, only to be woken up a few hours later to Rainbow snuggling herself in the bag with me. I grit my teeth refraining from gushing at the cuteness. The manliness in my body wouldn't approve, and I'd have to wrestle a manticore with Jeff to get it back.

I wrapped my arms around Rainbow before closing my eyes again and going to sleep for good this time. Today was a long day for me.

Author's Note

And that's it with Chapter 15.

Here's another chapter done for all of you wonderful guys and gals. This took a bit longer to type due to real life situations (My semester lasted a week longer than I thought I did) and this week and last was kinda hell for me, but I prevailed and now I feel just as invincible as Jonathan thinks he is!

Speaking of which, keep in mind that Jonthan's just a kid without full comprehension of the meaning of danger, aka 'that kid in his super hero phase'. That's why he behaved the way he did.

Here's the thing about this chapter. It's a bit different from how it actually went from the show. First of all, I know Twilight went to the Everfree to get ingredients for tea from Zecora, buuuuut I changed it up a bit because I can use the power of being the author to do so. Sue me. I did a few rewrites of the future episodes. I'll be skipping a few more chapters for they'll have not much to do with the humans, such as a dog and pony, and green's not your color, but will be mentioned in the recaps. I just don't feel like I'd have enough to put down as an entire chapter because it'll be super short. I'm not gonna do that to you guys because you guys are awesome. :twilightsmile: The next chapter might be an exception for short chapters though. There won't be much to it, but I think you'll be interested.... enough..

Anyway, leave a thumbs up if you liked it and comment on what you think of the chapter.

Next Chapter: Fillies and Weeabos

Chapter 16: The School Talent Show

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

There were several things I've learned since I've learned about the cockatrice. One. They use magic to turn anypony or creature born with magic that looks into its eyes into stone. Lucky for Jack's youngest little brother and the rest of us humans, we're immune. The magic goes right through us like B1 Droids go through Gungan shields. Two, whenever Twilight ventures out into the Everfree, go with her and stay with her. Three, the kids are older and smart enough to pick things up from their older siblings, both good and bad habits.

Speaking of kids, they're still grounded. Haven't touched the Wii U or any of the movies in about a bit over a week. Big Mac even gave the idea to let them work off their punishment on the farm. Yeah, I do know how much Brianna hates hard manual labor, so I took them on it. Yeah, they were pouting at us about how unfair it was and why Apple Bloom and the other crusaders weren't grounded. Simply put, since Jack's and our parents weren't here, this meant we're their guardians. I explained to them that the other crusaders aren't under our rule and whatever issues they have will be dealt with by their parents/guardians. Although that did bring up the question in my head. The other kids involved got off Scott-free, almost as if their parents/guardians didn't know about them sneaking off into the Everfree. I thought about telling Applejack and Rarity about it, but Fluttershy had told me not to tell them and took the blame for not keeping a closer eye on them. Well, she's free to take the blame for the fillies. At least I won't have to talk to Rarity.

Last Friday was Twilight's birthday. I didn't really know until Pinkie told me that morning. She was wondering "What kind of a coltfriend wouldn't know his mare's birthday?" I was thinking the same thing. Twilight never told me when her birthday was. Rainbow's is near the end of this month. She told me on my birthday. I guess it never came up in conversation. I spent most of the day with her, buying her lunch and walking by the stalls and seeing what she may like or want for her birthday. Last minute shopping is always a hassle, but this is the best way to do so I guess. Even back on Earth, I wasn't too much of a fan of going to malls and shopping places unless we stopped by an Electronic Boutique or a Gamestop. Either that or if there were to be a sale on hoodies. I've heard from my brother's colleagues back on Earth that going shopping with women is terrible. Unlike men, who goes to where they need to go, get what they need to get, and get out, women love to inspect every atom of everything in all areas and stores before leaving. I was now starting to get what the meant while going through the town bazaar. I so wanted to ditch, but this was her special day, so I just strung along. I guess I was reminded that she was still a woman, although her adorkable nerdiness makes me forget that at times. Well, she's still a mare.

When she finally left it was getting dark. On the way back, she was talking about the science of magic and all that stuff, but I was brain dead since the 'little' window 'shopping' spree (she didn't buy anything). I had managed to keep hidden everything I saw her looking at (mostly books) in a bag that I bought. When we got to the library, she thanked me for spending the day with her. I was mentally exhausted all day trying to play a game inside of my head to keep myself occupied. I wish I remembered to charge my 3DS last night.... I was glad it was over. I was thinking: Okay. Go in, drop her stuff off, go home, hit the sack.

NOPE!!!

"SURPRISE!!!"

I should've known. Pinkie and her parties. god DAMMIT!!! I should've seen it coming. Why didn't I? It was Pinkie who told me it was her birthday in the first place. And she had me out all day keeping her distracted while she set everything up. Why didn't I see it coming?! Oh right. I was brain dead. My mind was elsewhere. For Twilight's sake, because I loved her, I faked a mask and participated in the activities. Her friends were there, and so was Jack and surprisingly Hiroto. It was fun, or it would've been had I not been hiding my exhaustion and the current growing headache.

To my relief, everyone started going home. I was about to step out when Twilight stopped me. She wanted me to stay for the night. Either she could sense how tired I was, or she just wanted me with her. I didn't really care. I said I'd stay the night. I ended up staying the weekend because why not?

The weekend was uneventful anyway. The ponies didn't really have much for me to do. Vinyl Scratch needed a new coffee table because hers ended up getting broke from a house party she threw. I managed to make a round 'disc' shaped table for her and painted it to look like a record. Thank you art class. She thought it was cool that I did it and even payed me a tip. She asked how my bro was doing. I guess I forgot that Trae is seeing her a lot. She told me that he introduced her to his mp3 player and some of his music. In return, she had him listen to some of hers. Bro's not really all that into dubstep. He doesn't hate it but he doesn't feel too strong about it either. Me on the other hand, I'm all for it. I spent the rest of the weekend with Twilight and Spike, as promised. I assume that was her birthday wish. Nah. It's probably something like never failing a test ever or something.

-Recap Over-

-Jack's POV-

I was staring at my list of things to do. Ponies were really needy today. Xavier is still at the Library with his 2nd mare. Here was the list.

Dr. Whooves: Door repair

Lyra Heartstrings: Chair broke again and I didn't do it intentionally for once.

~~Twilight Sparkle: Help at the library~~

Roseluck: Need help carrying fertilizer.

BonBon: Moving furniture.

Octavia Melody: Soundproofing Vinyl's room.

Applejack: Help on the farm.

You know, these all seem time consuming, and I notice Xavier's been slacking off to hang out with his girls. Trae hasn't been doing much either. It's about time for them to pick up the slack and get to know the ponies better. So I wrote a note saying I was only going to help Applejack with the farm.

Speak of, the devil, she was just coming to the house with three ponies in tow. It's been a while since she came just to visit.

"Howdy hun."

"Hey Applebabe. Here to pick up the kids?"

"Ya got it, but for a different reason. You can come with if ya want. Ah just wanna show 'em somethin'."

"I have time. I was on my way to help you out on the farm anyway. If anything, to spend some time with my special girl." I grinned at her.

She blushed. "Yeah Ah've been hopin' to spend some more time with my special somehuman."

"That's what you're calling it?"

"Ehem!" We were reminded by Apple Bloom that there were three fillies waiting for their two human members.

"Oh right." I guess the two little siblings have learned their lesson. I turned back to the house. "Jonathan! Bri Bri! Get ready to go to Applejack's! Your friends are here!"

They came down almost instantly. I continued.

"After thinking it over, I think you've learned your lessons. You can play with your friends at AJ's."

"YESSSS!!!" They both said.

We followed Applejack to Sweet Apple Acres. We weren't going to the barn however. We were headed a bit past it to Applejack's old treehouse. It didn't look like it was kept in good condition, however, she was giving it to them as it was.

"Uh, AJ, do you think giving them a structure to play in in this condition is a good idea? It seems... hazardous."

"Ah don't you worry 'bout a thing. I'm sure they'll be fine n' dandy with their new treehouse." I wasn't buying it.

"Uh, well, I still don't think it's safe for the little ones yet. Just let me fix it up a bit so it's atleast stable."

"Ah said they'll be fine."

"AJ, a pebble can bring this shack down. I don't know much about carpentry, but I'm not letting my bro near this deathtrap."

"Excuse me?!" She glared at me.

Uh oh. She's giving me that look. Gotta think of a way to convince AJ to fix the treehouse.

"Well, I was thinking," I started, "Since we hardly ever spend any time together, maybe you and I could you know, make this a little project for you me and the kids." I leaned in close to her ear. "Unless they're not around, it would just be the two of us alone."

This caused her to blush. "Ah darnit! Ya ain't playin fair."

Nailed it, Aced it, Can't be stopped!

I left AJ to make measurements on the tree house while I went off to get the wood because the Apples were out of it. The store owners gave me a cart to pull. That would've been fine....

...if I were a pony. I was struggling with the cart of wood. Then I came across Jeff.

"Hey you!" He greeted. "You're embarrassin' yourself in front of the pansy ponies!"

"Yes I don't mind if you help at all, anus!" I retorted

"Yeah yeah, I'll show ya how a real man pulls a carriage!" The dude took the carriage harness and pulled it towards the edge of town.

"Jeff!" I called out. He wasn't listening. He just kept pulling, trying to show off how strong he is to everyone. I facepalmed. Strong, yes. Stupid, yes. He was going the wrong way. I followed him until he started slowing down near the opposite edge of town.

"Now that's how a man pulls a carriage!" He said in between breaths.

"Cool, but can you do it again? You know, this time going the direction I was headed? To Sweet Apple Acres."

Jeff paused for a moment. "O-Of course I can! Why d-didn't you say so sooner?!" With that, he took the carriage full of wooden planks and dashed off. To mess with him, I hitched a ride. When we finally made it to Sweet Apple Acres, he collapsed and rolled over on his back. "Here we are!" he said after wheezing.

He was done, but I'm gonna mess with him a little bit more.

"I didn't say where on Sweet Apple Acres. It's actually all the way on the opposite edge of the orchard." I said, grinning.

"GODDAMMIT!!!"

"I'm teasin ya dude. I'll take it from here." I picked up the carriage and left him there to recollect himself. When I reached the tree house, I found Apple Bloom replacing the old wood for the walls and Applejack trying to reinforce the roof. She wasn't doing a good job. On the more important note, that roof looks like it's about to-

"WOAH NELLY!!!" Applejack screamed out when she fell through the roof. "DAGNABBIT DAMMIT!!!"

"You alright there, AJ?"

"Jack? Yeah, Ah'm fine. Just peachy."

"I thought you were all for apples, not peaches. I'm gonna call you Peachyjack now." Apple Bloom laughed a bit.

"Just grab a hammer and help already." she commanded. I did as told and this time I went on the roof. Not once did I fall through because I was smart about it because not only did I wait until AB finished replacing the posts, but I had also hung around the more stable edges instead of in the unstable middle of the roof. It was easier to replace the worn wood and add in the shingles. I think I've ran and jumped on enough roofs to know how to put one together.

We were almost done with it when Apple Bloom went off and came with the paint to start painting their new crusader hideout. Considering my height, AJ asked me to help her with the roof and with other places out of reach. When we were nearly done, all that was left was the floor to be painted. Apple Bloom said she could handle it though. Probably for the better. Less paint on my shoes, the better. I went back to the barn to find Applejack putting the tools away.

"Thank ya kindly fer helpin' with the clubhouse."

"No problem. It was just another excuse to see you again."

She giggled as I scratched behind her ears. We sat there for a little while before going to check up on Apple Bloom to see how she was doing. We were approaching the newly colored tree house when we started hearing singing.

"They all say that you will get your mark when the time is really right" It was most likely one of the fillies.

"And you know just what you're supposed to do" Definitely the fillies.

"And your talent comes to light!" Okay, no offense, but that third filly needs practice.

While AJ stuck her head into the window, I notice my little bro was standing by a tree staring at the tree house. He didn't look too happy, so I went over there to see what was going on.

"Hey lil bro."

He looked at me and then back at the tree house.

"Something botherin ya?"

"The tree house..."

"What about it?"

"It looks too girly for me!" he whined.

I chuckled a bit.

"It's NOT FUNNY!" he pouted.

"It kinda is. Look around you. We're in a land full of colorful magical talking and flying ponies ruled by a princess. This entire world is girly by our standards. Our house is the only non-girly house in Ponyville, and maybe even in all of Equestria." I tried to explain.

"But it looks like a girl's clubhouse.."

"Well, if you're talking about the paint, maybe you could've helped out with the paint. Don't worry. I'm sure no one'll think different of you by going in there and hanging out with your friends." I said, patting his head.

"Okay but if I get laughed at, you owe me ice cream!"

"Fine." With that, he went to join his friends in the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse.

AJ told me that it was about time for her to get back to work, so we kissed and said our 'see ya later's and went our separate ways. Since I had absolutely nothing else to do, I had decided to help Bon Bon move her furniture. One less Xavier will have to worry about. I also had to deal with Lyra and her shenanigans. You know, when ya get past her crazy obsessive side, she's actually pretty nice. Although I did have to tell her to get rid of those 7 collars I found in her room before she scares the kids, make Xavier and Trae uncomfortable around her, and murdered by Jeff. After Bon Bon apologized on her behalf, and after the disposal of those collars, I had left.

I decided to stop by the library to talk to Xavier because I figured that's where he'd be. With his second mare. On the way there, I walked by a cream colored mare with a light purple tail and a Guinea-flag-colored fro for a mane. Wait... That's the mare I met at lunch the other day!

"Vera?!"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!" she cried and zoomed off.

I thought it was a mistake under the influence of alcohol, or she was on the wrong end of a bet.

Anywhoozle, when I got to the library, the door opened with the five crusaders running and galloping out. I stood there to stare at them for a moment before continuing to the library. Xavier was there along with Spike, Twilight, and Miss Cheerilee.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"They're joining a school talent show tonight." Xavier explained.

"Ah. Sounds fun."

Miss Cheerilee stepped towards me."You must be Jonathan and Hiroto's older brother. I'm Miss Cheerilee." She introduced herself.

"I know who you are. You're the only teacher in town, and Hiroto gave a very good drawing of you on his school notes." I grinned at her.

"H-he drew me?!?" Cheerilee stuttered.

"Yeah. Great manga artist."

"What's a manga?" Twilight asked.

I let out a sigh. "It's better to show it to you than to try to explain it. And I'm too lazy to do it."

"He... drew me?! In class?!?" Cheerilee started getting nervous. I saw this and decided to take the chance to feed.

"Yup. About a few months ago. He captured all of your features. He captured your rear decently. Gotta say, I might take you home with me one day." I was holding in my laughter as much as I can.

"Oh...my..." Cheerilee's head was red as a cherry. She looked very uncomfortable.

"Jack, stop it!" Twilight interfered. She turned to Cheerilee. "I'm so sorry Miss Cheerilee. Jack likes to joke a lot. Sometimes too much." She turned to glare at me.

"Heh. Yeah. He only drew your good side."

"JACK!" Twilight raised her voice.

"No joke."

"Ugh!!!"

"What?" I was really being honest. She needs to lighten up. "It's far from a dirty drawing."

This seemed to rest Cheerilee's unease. "Oh. Good. That's okay then. Heheheh. As long as I keep my clean image."

I can't help it. "Well. I can always tell him to draw a hentai of you."

"Hentai?" Twilight asked.

"Anime porn."

"OH MY CELESTIA, JACK!!!" Twilight screamed. I was too busy laughing on the floor at Cheerilee's reaction. "This is enough!"

"I'm sorry! I really am! Sorry Miss Cheerio. My inner troll hadn't been fed in months. I'll stop for real this time. He just drew a clean picture of you. Heck, if you want, you can have it to hang somewhere."

"That sounds nice, but please talk to him about drawing somepony without them knowing." Cheerilee asked.

"Fine." I made note to talk to Hiroto about it later.

After a while, I had left for home. On the way, I had ran into Jeff whose muscles were still sore from carrying all that wood for miles. I could tell because of the look on his face.

"Get a good workout this morning?" I asked while grinning.

"Shove it where the sun don't shine!"

He mad. Probably because Rarity was following behind him trying to get him to go to the spa with her for his arms. Speaking of which, she looked a bit stressed herself. Jeff and I went home with Rarity following us. There was nothing else to do for the three of us. Xavier was either in his room asleep or somewhere helping a pony. It didn't mean that Rarity was still on edge about seeing him. Hiroto wasn't home. Strange, I haven't seen him all day.

"Jeff, Rarity, have either of you seen Hiroto?"

"Nope."

"I think I saw him with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon at the park." Rarity stated. "Why?"

"Because I haven't seen him all day, and I wanted to talk to him about drawing people in class. He's actually pretty good." I told her about him drawing Miss Cheerilee in class while she didn't notice. Rarity was interested.

"Well, I had no idea he was such an artist. Maybe he can draw me a self portrait I could put somewhere."

"You'll have to ask him."

We sat there in silence, Jeff falling asleep on the couch as a result. Rarity broke the silence.

"Well, I think it's about time that I went on my way. I need to make sure Sweetie Bell doesn't take anything else from my boutique."

"Sure. See ya later."

Rarity left with haste. I knew why she really left. She didn't want to be there when Xavier got back or woke up. I didn't really care though. That's an issue for a later time. I heard the talent show would be at night on the way back here. I decided to take a nap until then.

Or so I wanted to. I was awakened by violent shaking.

"Jack Jack Jack Jack!!!"

"What what what?!" I opened my eyes to see Jonathan shaking me.

"I need bits! I need bits!"

"For what?"

"Smoke pellets for the talent show!"

"How much.."

"5 bits!"

I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out five bits I earned from today. I handed it to him.

"Thanks bro!" He ran out the house. I heard the crusaders cheering. Bri came in the house and rushed upstairs. I'm guessing to her room. She came back down with her mp3 player, manga, and a cleaners bag with a jack-o-lantern on it. I was too tired to question it. I went back to sleep.

I woke up again to Xavier tapping my shoulder.

"You do plan on going to the talent show, right? You're late."

-Brianna's POV-

We were all back stage. We had almost everything ready. This is going to be SO EXCITING! Scootaloo turned to Jonathan.

"After this, can we see this ani-may?" She asked.

"SURE!!! IT'S AWESOME! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE DOING THIS!"

Snips and Snails had just finished their act and now it was time for Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie's performance.

"My little crusaders! How are you doing?" Twilight asked as she walked up to us.

"Nervous!" The ponies said in unison.

"EXCITED!!!" Jonathan said.

"Meh." I played it cool. I had my outfit on.

"Don't worry. You're gonna be amazing." She reassured us.

"I KNOW!!" Jonathan squealed.

"See? Jonathan's excited. I can't wait to see what..." She finally noticed what we were wearing. "...your performance will be."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were going to sing their theme song, but it still needed a lot of work if it was going to be epic. So instead, I had introduced them to The Amazing World of Manga. Apple Bloom wanted to stick with something that defined us, but Scootaloo was interested. Even Sweetie Bell sided with us saying that the song needed a lot of work too. It also went perfectly with AB's idea for kung fu dancing. So we got everything! Went to Rarity's to make costumes, I still had Jack's Halloween costume from last year in my room. That saved a lot of time, so we just made costumes for me and the fillies. Jonathan got smoke pellets from some place but that makes it all the more perfect!

"We're gonna blow this joint out of the water!!!" Jonathan said.

Miss Cheerilee told us we were up next. I'm glad Jack and I saw enough of this anime's opening to know the lyrics.

-Xavier's POV-

So there we were. Me, Jack, AJ, and the rest of our friends, waiting for the crusaders to come on out to perform. We were waiting until smoke filled the stage. We couldn't see anything for a moment until the smoke cleared up. Then the music started.

...I facepalmed so hard when it cleared up. A large cardboard nine-tailed fox was right behind them. Jonathan dressed as Naruto, Bri had her hair styled like Sakura, Sweetie Bell dressed as Hinata, Apple Bloom like Tenten, and Scoots as Ino.

Jonathan and Bri started singing, dancing while playing their air-guitar.

"WE ARE FIGHTING DREAMAHS!

Takami wo mezashite

FIGHTING DREAMAHS!

Narifuri kamawazu.

FIGHTING DREAMAHS

Shinjiru ga mama ni

Oli Oli Oli Oh just go my way!"

OF COURSE!! I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS!! WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS?!? I was grabbing my face with one hand. The 6 friends couldn't really understand half of the words. Twilight and Applejack had one eyebrow raised while Jack was laughing at my reaction. Rainbow and Pinkie were enjoying it. Fluttershy was smiling. I guess she's looking at Brianna having fun on stage. Rarity seemed like she was trying to figure it all out. The fillies were background dance-fighting. Jonathan had the solo rap part.

"RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!

BUTTAKITTEKU ZE GET THE FIRE!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!"

After the fillies stopped 'bang'ing and 'burn'ing, Bri starting singing.

"Kewashii shura no michi no naka hito no chizu wo hirogete doko e yuku

Gokusaishoku no karasu ga sore wo ubaitotte yaburisuteta

Sa-a kokoro no me mihiraite shika to ima wo mikiwamero. YE-EAH!

Ushinau mono nante nai sa iza mairou"

Then both of the human kids were singing.

"WE ARE FIGHTING DREAMAHS!

Takami wo mezashite

FIGHTING DREAMAHS

Nari furi kamawazu

FIGHTING DREAMAHS

Shinjiru ga mama ni

Oli oli oli oh just go my way!"

Jonathan's turn again.

"RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!

BUTTAKITTEKU ZE GET THE FIRE!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!

BUTTAKITTEK ZE GET THE FIRE!"

"BAM!!"

And that was the end of it. I turned to Jack.

"Maybe we shouldn't have watched Naruto so much with them."

"Nah! I thought they were great!" he replied.

Everyone applauded. Sure I doubt they understood over half of the lyrics, but uh, they seem to really enjoy the mood of the song. Great. And now there are going to be pony weeabos. What have I done? I should've seen it coming. I like anime as much as the next person, but... I guess what's important is that they had fun. Of course Appejack and Rarity were looking at Jack and I as if expecting answers to what fad our little siblings have introduced them to and what language they were speaking.

Jack leaned down towards Twilight. "Remember when I told you about manga? Our little siblings love it."

I continued. "And most of the lyrics is in Japanese. A language in which even I need subtitles to understand."

Cheerilee and the other performers took the stage. "Let's hear it for our talented fillies and colts!"

Hooves were stomping with two pairs of hands clapping before the teacher went on.

"First award goes to the Cutie Mark Crusaders for their unique and amazing performance!"

"WE WON! WE WON WE WON WE WON!!" Jonathan jumped around, making it really hard for Cheerilee to give him a medal. The five received medals shaped as music notes.

Guess all that nerding out with weeabo-ness payed off.

"Second reward goes to Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie for the best dramatic performance!"

The two fillies on skates went up to get their prized medals.

Snips and Snails won the last medal for their... magic... Maybe now they understand what performing actually is.

Jack and I were walking our little siblings home after the rewards were handed out. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came along with us. Poor Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Seems like Hiroto took his loss pretty well. Jack and I were late so we didn't really see their performance. Or so we thought. As it turns out, they dropped out of the competition. Hiroto was going to introduce a new contraption for nerds to play with (mini quad copter that ran on magic energy) but he didn't have enough time to finish it. Diamond Tiara, wanting to beat the crusaders so bad, urged him to test it out anyway and it ended up falling apart. Diamond Tiara looked pretty embarrassed on stage, smiling sheepishly at a slightly un-amused teen. It didn't seem like he was too mad at her though. He pat her head a bit on the way home.

The three winning fillies were in our group too, following their two human members. They wanted to rub their prizes into DT and SS's faces, but I told them that it'd be unbecoming of them to do so, and that they were better than that. I can understand how they'd be your rivals, but sheesh, have some respect. For once, AJ agreed with me and told AB to be sportsmanlike, in pony vocabulary of course. It seems with Hiroto, Brianna, and Jonathan on both sides of the feud, there's less tension between the two juvenile groups. Diamond Tiara still stayed away from Brianna though. Still, everyone was walking home with smiles on their faces, even after we parted to our respective homes (except Dashie, who went to escort Scootaloo to her home.)

It was a relatively good night after a busy day.

Author's Note

That's it for chapter 16. Sorry it took so long, but you know. Family and stuff. I'm trying out a suggestion from AuthorGenesis by highlighting the entire sentences of the mane six instead of just the quotes to see how you guys like it. Trying new things to better the quality I suppose. The only problem is that FiM Fiction doesn't have the crusaders' colors on the pallate, so I just took wild guesses with them.

For those wondering, I've never really built a tree house or anything but a chair and table. I also decided to give Xavier's POV a little break this chapter. Jack hadn't had the spotlight in a while, and I kinda missed typing funny stuff.

Anyway, leave a thumbs up if you liked it and comment on what you thought of this chapter please.

Next up: Dances with Buffalo

PS: I may start writing the chapter after the next one at the same time so I could get to the end of season one faster. The 17th chapter might still be posted before the next one though since I have it all summarized out.

Chapter 17: Dances with Buffalo.

Chapter 17: Dances with Buffalo

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

So much stuff has happened within the past two weeks. Not even bro could keep up with everything. The amount of work we have been getting was ridiculous. I had little to no time to myself, let alone to spend with Rainbow. Twilight, maybe, but after a while, it seemed as if we were running ourselves ragged. Even Jeff had to spend some of his off time filling in requests. About seven times do I remember him saying and I quote: "Can't these pansy ass ponies get shit done themselves?!" I think they may have forgotten that although us humans are 'handy,' there are only seven of us here, and only four of us to go around. Most importantly, we have lives that we want to live too. Sure, the bits were coming in like greedy customers on Black Friday, but what's the point of having money if you don't have the time to spend it? All the more reason why money alone doesn't cause happiness. We started putting things off. Making it so that each of us gets a minimum of five tasks a day. That's 15 customers a day, 20 if Jeff is free and in the mood, which will most likely be rare.That way, all morning and afternoon will be spent working. Evenings and nights are ours. I've been keeping track since I got my phone back.

Now that we had more time for other things besides work, like for our friends and little siblings. I brought it up one day that we spend more time with our friends, mares, and jobs more than our actual family. It was that night that we all decided to hang out and play all night like we did half a year ago before we ended up in Equestria. The only diff was that we were joined by Dash and Pinks. Mr. Microsoft and Mr. Sony had to stay in the parents' room considering most of the games were too violent for the kids and ponies, and we only had but a few games for the PS4 anyway that didn't require internet. It was a good night. Pinkie and Dash stayed overnight, Pinkie sleeping with the kids while Dash with me. They were good company to the others, especially with the former making breakfast in the morning. We'll have to do this more often. We all agreed to try to do this once a week to bond with friends.

Speaking of friends, the kids ended up being surrounded by fillies and colts the next school day. They were being asked about what their talent show performance was about. They were introduced to the world of anime/manga. With Hiroto's artistic craftsmanship, he drew ponies as human anime characters. The fillies and colts were sucked in. Now, Ponyville has a generation of weeabos.

The very next day, Rarity had a job for one of us, and by one of us, I mean 'not me'. Apparently, Pinkie found out in the kids room that humans eat gems too. However, what Pinkie or Rarity didn't know that what Pinkie saw Bri eating was another human candy called "Ring Pops," hard candy made into the shape of a diamond and screwed onto a ring, or however they make it. After Trae explained it, because I wasn't going to talk to Rarity about it, she understood the misunderstanding and went to get Spike to help her instead. Later that day, Rarity and the girls looked dirty, telling us that they found the diamonds they were looking for, but dug them from Diamond Dog territory. They told us that Diamond Dogs tried to use Rarity as a slave to mine and carry all of the diamonds like a pack mule, but she whined her way out of it. I couldn't help but laugh. I imagined Rarity whining and crying and throwing tantrums like a child. The Diamond Dogs would've sent her to hell, but then again, hell would probably send her back up. That said either three things about Diamond Dogs and what probably happened. They're either pretty stupid, or pretty fickle. Probably both. Unless Rarity really is an unbearable whiner. I'm inclined to believe the later. My heart secretly went out to the poor Diamond Dogs.

A few days after that, Fluttershy became a model. Guess who was her acting manager. Rarity. Or she was until some mare named Photo Finish took Flutters away from her. Fluttershy, as pretty as she is, didn't really have the personality of a model, but funny thing, everyone is attracted to her personality more than Rarity's who also wanted to shine. HAH! SUCK IT! Once again, I laughed at this. However, the only one who caught on to what I was really laughing at was Fluttershy. She was the only pony who knew how I really felt about Miss Bell, and it sort've bothered her still. Twilight asked me for help. She knew both Rarity and Flutters hated the situation, but Twilight was trusted to keep their secrets from one another. She asked for advice, but I went straight to Jack with an idea. I told Rarity's secret to Fluttershy while Jack unknowingly told Rarity hers. Pinkie wasn't too happy with us, saying "Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend FOREVEEERRRRRR!!!," but we never made any Pinkie Promises, and Rarity and I weren't really what you'd call friends, and I do not trust her type. Pinkie couldn't say much else. Hehe. Finding valid loopholes is pretty amazing.

-Recap Over-

Monday Night
3/21

I was in my room, about to catch some Z's. There weren't going to be any ponies sleeping with me tonight. Twilight said she's been falling behind in her studies while staying here. Rainbow Dash had to get up bright and early, and knowing how I am in the mornings, I mutually agreed that she should sleep in her own home tonight. It was pretty quiet. And lonely. It's that feeling that you get used to sleeping with someone you love, but when she isn't there, you get the idea. My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle tap on the window. It was either Rainbow or another pegasus. When I looked, it was Fluttershy. It seemed like she had something on her mind, and considering it was a little past midnight, it must've been something really going on in her mind. I got up from my bed and let her in.

"Hey Flutters. Have a nightmare or somethin?"

"Hey.. I was hoping that I could talk to you about something.." Fluttershy meekly asked.

"What's on your mind?

"After I quit modeling, I was thinking. Rarity wanted me to keep going because she thought I liked it, even though she wanted to be in the spotlight." She said. Nope.

"Yeah, I'm not much of a guy that likes being in the spotlight like that either, I mean, how did you do it for so long?" Fluttershy looked at me for a moment before continuing.

"I don't think she's the type of mare that you think she is, because-" I cut her off again.

"Yeah, I remember that one time when I was 14, I went to this drama camp. Heheh, man was I out of place." Again, she paused. She started to look frustrated. I knew it was rude, but I find it pointless to talk to backstabbing whorses. Heheh. Whorse. See what I did there? Because she's a pony, and ponies are like small horses and...

"If you could just give her one more chance, maybe you could just-"

"Yeah. I am definitely not a stage person."

Her ears folded back as she gave me a stare. I sighed at her. "Look. I know you want me to be friends with your friends, but I still don't like her, and I don't want to talk about her."

"Can you really really stay mad at her forever? It happened a month ago." Fluttershy didn't seem like she was going to let up.

"I have a question. Just a hypothetical. Say Rarity's wings didn't burn? What would've happened? Would she have ever learned her lesson? Would Rainbow Dash really have won and had the somewhat best day of her life? I don't think so. She probably would've shown off her wings until they wore off. If say, they didn't wear off, she would've abandoned all of us, including you. I'm not talking about this anymore. I'm tired."

With that said, I went back to bed. She flew back out of the window, but she didn't go home. Instead, I could hear her knocking on Bro's window. I chuckled at that, but I didn't think much of it. I really was tired, so I went back to sleep.

Tuesday
3/22

I woke up to a partially cloudy morning. I guess Dash found out about my reaction to the sky being completely cloudy. I'll have to thank her for that later. I checked my phone for the time. It was a quarter to 9. Quite early. I could hear the kids downstairs watching their shows (aka many of the dvds we've had stored.) I could hear 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' downstairs. Jeff was heading out, saying some pony busted a wall or something along those lines. Jack was down there with the kids, eating a lot of pancakes. Four stacks! Gee. The only thing bigger than his appetite at the moment would be Applejack's request.

...

Applejack's big request. She needs some of us to go deliver a tree with her to Appleloosa. She wrote that her friends were coming. Oh goody. Another rule for bro to put down for our services. 'If we are needed for out of town escort, let us know in advance to give us time to prepare. Had she not been our dear friend and Jack's fillyfriend, they'd be SOL (Shit Out of Luck). I told Jack about it. Turns out he knew about the entire thing. So she tells him but not me. If he wasn't my best friend ever in both worlds, I'd let him go alone. Atleast it means he was already packed. I felt I wasn't going to need to bring much, so I brought my phone, my 3DS XL, and a few protein granola bars (We gave Mr. and Mrs. Cake the rappers of our already eaten bars that had the ingredients. They did a damned well good job of remaking them when I mentioned it had no meat.) Okay, I didn't take a few. I took a few handfuls. Not for my sake, but in case anyone got hungry. Me, Jack, or a few of the ponies. I'm not that quick to eat more than I need to because of my slow system. I can survive off of two granola bars an entire day. Perfect for the post-apocolyptic worlds. I get thirsty easily though. Nevermind.

Jack had the idea of us going there early so we could pick our cars to sit in. I could see through him. You just wanna see Applejack. When we arrived at the train station, I noticed something. There were ponies pulling the engine. I did not know what to think of that. What's the point of having an engine in the first place if it's just gonna be pulled? It's extra weight for one, and for two, it defeats the purpose! Plus, they have magic! Can't they get the trains powered by unicorn magic? I suppose they were going to wait for the smart humans to figure that one out. The girls arrived a half an hour later along with Jeff and Big Mac, carrying an apple tree. An apple tree for godsakes! It was about that time to get on board. The two big guys helped put the tree into the caboose while the girls, Spike, Jack and I boarded the train. Of course, Jeff being Jeff, brought two of his babies, Charlie and Hank. I guess you can never be too careful if things get hairy. Jeff sat with the tree.

That was until Applejack went back there to read a story to the inanimate object. It was just too much for him. He went to the next car ahead of us.

"Can ya'll talk some goddamn sense into that girl for Christ's sake! She's actin like a goddamn nut case, readin to a tree!"

Rarity went to the back to see what he was talking about.

Jack stood up to Applejack's defense. "Maybe it's a farm pony thing." No one likes a knight in shining armor, Jack. "Right girls?"

They shook their heads. Even Fluttershy the nature pony didn't say anything. Rarity came back.

"I cannot believe the nerve of that mare! She has a private car for a tree! What about me?!"

Fluttershy looked at me from the other side of the car as I bit my mouth shut. RARITY SHUT THE- You know what? No... She's not worth it.

"She treats that tree more like a pony that's more important than me!" Rarity pouted.

Jack placed a hand over his head. "Rarity, will you give it a rest already? You're not exactly the center of the universe yourself, you know."

Rarity 'humph'ed and went back to her seat. Twilight was sitting beside me. Rainbow Dash was on my other side, staring at the holster which I kept my 'method of self defense'.

"Something on your mind, Dash?"

"Do you really need to bring that everywhere?" She asked. Yeah, she's never been easy around guns ever since we first met. Understandable actually. She told me Jeff used one of his weapons against a dragon, but it didn't do much besides annoy him. The others didn't see it shatter a vase, and neither of them saw them tear through flesh. Let's hope they'll never get to.

"I'll only use it as a last resort. If no one's a threat, it won't be used. Isn't that right Jeff?!" I asked out loud. He heard me.

"Yeah yeah whatever."

The train ride was a long one. I had already eaten two of my granola bars. I had around twenty one of 'em. Jack had one, Jeff had three, and I let Rainbow try one. I should probably just hand 'em out to the other two. I did. Jeff and I were left with four each while Jack had six.

"Hey! How come he gets to have six!" Jeff protested.

"Because I evenly split it between the three of us. 7 per man. You ate three of yours, I ate two and gave one to Dash. Jeff only had one. You do the math."

Jeff just grumbled in response.

"If you're still hungry after gobbling up your last bar, you can ask AJ nicely for an apple from the tree in the back."

"Yeah whatever.." Jeff mumbled something else, but I couldn't really hear it.

Nothing really happened during the long ride to Appleloosa that day. Just the occasional chatting, the occasional snuggling with Dash and Twi, and mentally cursing out Rarity who was still trying to sleep the day in. I didn't know if I should wake her up just to annoy her, or leave her alone so I wouldn't have to hear her voice. Tough call, I think I'll stick to leaving her alone.

After a while, the rest of the beds were being set up. The girls had their beds set up. AJ slept in the car we were in though. There wasn't enough room and "Bloomberg needs her space" apparently. BLOOMBERG IS A TREE!!! Although we were in the car ahead of the rest of the girls, we could still hear them murmuring until it woke up Rarity.

"...be QUIET NOW!!!"

Heheheh. It was mostly quiet after that. The two Jacks cuddled each other to sleep while I sat with Jeff on the opposite corner.

"I'll never understand how you and him can even do it. They're ponies."

"Well, Jeff, I don't know about bro, but Jack and I would rather have someone to love, and quite frankly, I don't know any other human girl besides my 7 year old sister, who is definately off limits." He cringed at the idea. Good. He's not gonna go pedo. "Besides, Rainbow and Twi are pretty cool." I pointed to the sleeping couple. "The Jacks are happy together, so where's the problem?"

"They are ponies! They aren't human!"

"Well, they've gotten past the different species part. I have too."

"So you two will be fucking ponies?"

I paused for a moment. "Dash, Twi and I aren't at that part of our relationships yet, but we'll come across that bridge when we get to it. Why is this bothering you so much? I'm pretty satisfied with the way my love life is, and Jack seems to be too. If you wanna be alone for the rest of your life, that's on you." And with that, I hit the sack. I was pretty tired and I kept my bars close so no hands or hooves could get to them. My food!

Wednesday
3/23

The next morning, I had a rude awakening as I was violently tossed from my bed. I looked out the window and saw buffalo wearing feathers on their heads in a Native American fashion. I thought nothing of it at first until I realized why I was violently tossed from my bed. They were ramming the train. Jeff already had 'Hank' drawn.

"Jeff! Don't you fucking dare!" I warned.

It was too late. He was already out of the car. I went after him. I found him on the roof of the next car when I saw how many of them there were. There were dozens of them. I couldn't count all of them when I heard a loud cracking noise.

'KRAKAK!!'

One the buffalo stumbled, having a few others behind him tripping over their fallen foe. I climbed on the roof before Jeff could take aim again and tackled him.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND!!!"

"HAVE YOU?! THIS IS AN ATTACK!!!" He yelled, pointing further down the train. Rainbow was chasing a younger looking buffalo on the train's roof. He aimed at the younger buffalo when the train was going through a curve. I noticed a buffalo with full feathers on his head, looking at Jeff with concern in his eyes. Must be the leader. He looks frightened, which means... I snatched the assault rifle out of his hand and hung it over the edge.

"You wouldn't fucking dare!"

"Oh I would, and you won't do shit about it! You may be bigger, but don't you think for a second I will not give you hell! When bro ain't around, you listen to me!"

"Says who!"

"SAYS ME! The one who has his head on the tightest, because it clearly ain't you!!"

We both gave each other a stare off from the top of the train. I wasn't going to have any of his shit or his trigger-happiness. He knew it, but his pride seemed to get the better of him when I noticed him standing up.

"Give me my gun."

"Sorry. I keep dangerous toys away from kids." That's all I said before heading back to the car's ladder. I could hear him stomping after me. Idiot. I turned to avoid him, but the caboose detached from the rest of the train and the train accelerated from the weight decrease. That itself made Jeff lose balance. The Buffalo stopped and went after the caboose, carrying it in the opposite direction. I didn't see Rainbow Dash anywhere, but I could look for her later. I needed to settle an issue with one of my kind first. Jeff was hanging off of the side of the train. I stood over him.

"Help me up now!" he demanded.

"You are in no position to be giving me demands." I gave him a smile. "Seems this is karma trying to give you a message."

"WHEN I GET UP THERE, I'M GOING TO-" the train curved again. He was slipping and he knew it. "Please! Help me up!"

"I will, under one condition. Your guns. Bro and I will be charge of them, and you will listen to me when he isn't around."

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!" He tried to grab my ankle and pull him down with him, but I could see that coming a mile away. I lift the foot he was trying to grab and stomped on his hand quickly. This left him only hanging on one and. I placed my hand on his.

"What should I say... 'Long live the king,' or 'I am your father, Luke?'" He knew where I was going at.

"FINE FINE! YOU WIN! FUCK! JUST HELP ME! THE GUNS ARE YOURS!" He couldn't hold on anymore. His grip failed and he started to fall. I caught him before he ended up stranded in the desert and pulled him up. He was heavy, but we had somewhat of a deal.

"Good." I panted. "Oh. And the moment you try something..." I frowned at him. "Y o u w i l l b e d e a d w h e r e y o u s t a n d."

He seemed to get the message. 'Stay in line or have a bad time.' References aside, we both came back inside with me holding his weapons. Jack looked at us both.

"What was going on out there?!" he asked.

"The buffalo stole the caboose and left us alone. It's all good now."

"No it's not." Jack asked.

"What do yo-" The door burst open with Applejack standing in the doorway.

"THEY GOT BLOOMBERG!! YA GOTTA HELP ME GET 'ER BACK!"

Am I really going to have to be the only voice of reason here? "It's just a tree, Applejack. One apple can grow up to four Bloombergs, ya know."

AJ looked offended. "That ain't just no tree. She is my tree!"

"Yeah! That's her tree, Xavier!" Jack said, standing by her.

Again, no one likes a knight in shining armor, Jack.

I looked out the window. We were just stopping by a station. The ponies rushed past me, out of the train, and by the station where we met a grinning stallion who's grin could match Pinkie's. I think we've found your match, Miss Pie.

"Hey there! Welcome ta 'AAAAAAPPLELOOS-" He was cut off by the sight of our tall beings looming over her cousin.

"WHAT IN TARNATION?!?" he shrieked.

"Braeburn, listen!" Applejack started

"Applejack ya brought monsters here?!?" Braeburn was shivering.

Jack and I looked at each other, grinning. Hell yes...

Before we could do anything though, Twilight stepped in front of us, giving me a glare. "Xavier, don't even! We don't have time for this!" She turned to Braeburn. "They're not monsters, they're aliens."

Killjoy...

"Braeburn! Somethin terrible's happened!"

"Not as terrible-lookin as them new fellers ya got there." Braeburn bluntly said. This raised a couple of eyebrows from us humans.

"Hey! That's my boyfriend you're talking about!"

It was quiet for a few seconds, this time, with Braeburn's eyebrow raised.

"AJ, you-"

"Braeburn, now's not the time to talk about that. I'm tryin to tell you"

"Well yer late for the tour, but uh keep an eye on yer alien mates."

Like they really needed to. We were being shoved all around town. Poor AJ couldn't get a word in. After being shoved all around town (Jack and I ended up lying on both Twi and AJ's back, we ended up at their Apple orchard. Applejack was tring to talk to Braeburn, but the guy was like Pringles. Once he pops he just don't stop.

"BRAEBURN WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE MARE SPEAK?!?" Sir Jack yelled.

I shook my head at him.

"Pardon?"

"Ehem. Braeburn you have a very nice town an all, but we have a HE-YUUUUUUGE problem! Some of our friends are missin'!"

"Yeah, my other fillyfriend disappeared too." I added.

"A stampede of buffalo!"

"They took spike!"

"Rainbow Dash went after them!"

She what?! Alone?

"And we can't find Pinkie Pie!"

"And we had an apple tree for yer orchard, but they took that too!"

There was a short pause. "Did you say buffalo?" Braeburn asked.

"Uh, yeah. Big muscly brown furballs with horns that wear Native American headwear." I said.

I was ignored again as he sighed. "Them buffalo. They want us settler ponies to take every single tree ya see here off this land. They sure as hay don't want any new ones added in."

"But why?"

Braeburn explained that they worked hard on their town and needed the trees to feed the everyone, and the buffalo came out of nowhere and told them to get rid of it.

I can see how you'd see the problem, but if I've learned anything from my history classes on Earth, there's most likely another side to this story.

"We could take care of your buffalo problem if I could have my gun back." Goddamnit Jeff!

"You can?!" Braeburn's face lit up.

"Jeff, I swear! You're cruising for a bruising! Seriously! Cut the shit!" I turned to the stallion. "Don't listen to him. His way is the wrong way that will have negative repercussions on both your town and us."

"If ye say so. Well, Ah'm gonna go on ahead and talk to the sheriff about this, and tell them about you three too. Ya know, just so no one'll get spooked." Braeburn said before walking off. Jack and I looked at each other and nodded our heads. We knew what we had to do.

The rest of the day was hilarious. We were pretty much acting like monsters throughout the town and making weird noises and faces, scaring the ponies senseless. Our inner trolls were starving, and we couldn't feed them after Braeburn told the sheriff, who we ended up letting ourselves get caught by. He took us to the town jail, which was pretty worn and unkept. I guess crime rate is low here. Needless to say, we busted out of their flimsy holding cells just to scare the living shit out of the sheriff. Although we did do just that to him and every pony, unfortunately Twilight and Applejack were talking to him with Braeburn at the time. Boy did we get a scolding. Let's just say Jack and I slept outside that night with no supper.

Well, for all they knew we did. We had granola bars!

Thursday
3/24

The next morning, we set out to look for our missing party members. I had both 'Hank' and 'Charlie'...Hank... Charlie... Hank... Charlie... FUCK HE NAMED THIS AFTER JIM CARREY'S CHARACTER(S) FROM 'ME, MYSELF, AND IRENE!' Clever Jeff. I told Jeff to stay behind. When everyone was ready, we set off. We only took a few steps out into the desert before we found them right there. I was immediately tackled by Dash while Flutters tackled Pinkie.

"How did you escape from the buffalo?" Twilight asked.

"We didn't." Pinkie pointed over by a rock. The young skinny buffalo that Dash was chasing jumped from behind it.

"We promised the buffalo a chance to talk."

Applejack didn't like where this was going. "Oh yeah? 'Bout what?"

"We brought our pal Little Strongheart here to explain to the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees off Buffalo land."

This is sounding all too familiar.

Braeburn seemed on board with letting Strongheart talk, but AJ was having none of it. "That's weird, 'cause my cousin Braeburn here wants ta explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay!"

All too familiar. Like a western Pocahontas movie. This also meant that if things stay where they are, our history will repeat on this world too. Rainbow's nudging pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Xavier, tell AJ that the Appleloosans can plant their trees somewhere else!"

"Jack, tell Rainbow that they can't because it's the only flat area where the trees can grow."

"RD, the settlers need flat trees to-" Sir Jack was cut off.

"Xavier, tell that cowpony that the buffalo had it first!"

"Jack! Puh-lease tell Miss Speedster that the ponies need it to live!"

"RD, the settlers need the trees to-"

"JACK! Goddammit stop being a fucking knight in shining armor!" I snapped.

"Oh yeah?! What're you doing then? You're taking your girl's side!"

"You don't hear me saying anything. I'm listening to both sides! We've heard from the Appleloosan's side. Now I'd like to hear from the buffalo."

"Girls! Both the settlers and the buffalo have good reasons to use this land. There must be something we can do!"

Pinkie jumped up out of nowhere between me and Jack. Goddammit girl you gotta stop doing that! "Hey! I've got an idea!"

Curious, we went with it. A little while later, the buffalo and Appleloosans were all crowded infront of a stage with he humans in the back. One of the buffalo had bandages around his leg, eyeing the three of us wearily. Must be the one that Jeff shot. I gave him an apologetic look. It didn't phase him. Pinkie poked her head out as music began to play. It's a fucking musical... should've known. My stomach was twisting as she sang. Did it help? It didn't. All it did was make things physical for the next day. Note to self. Musicals do not always solve problems. Keep Pinkie from singing outside of Ponyville.

We needed to do something before things got ugly, and they were going to get ugly. The townsman started preparing pies like they would prepare ammo. These ponies are idiots... I tugged on Jack's sleeve and motioned him to come with me.

"Where are ya'll goin? We need ya'll here ta help us settle this mess."

"We're going to discuss this ourselves. Let's just say that we have a pretty good idea what will happen if things go the way they are going now." I told her.

"What will-"

"Trust us, babe. You do what you can to help them." Jack said. Hey. He's taking my side this time. Cool.

"Alright. Ah take it ya'll have a plan then."

We didn't answer. At the outskirts of the town, we discussed our plan.

A few hours later, I followed the buffalo to their little camp alone, leaving Jack with the Appleloosans. I ate another granola bar, silently thanking Jack for handing me one of his, and waited until night time to reveal myself. When I did, I was holding Hank over my shoulder. That weapon got the chief's attention. Catching his attention in the way I did though, wasn't really a good thing. A few others stormed around me. The already injured buffalo was screaming bloody murder. Must be the Roseluck of the buffalos.

"What business do you have here, alien."

"First of all, if I wanted all of you dead, I would've taken you all out by now without you even knowing what hit you, so call off your guys. Second of all, I've come to warn you about what will happen if you go through with your plan to assault the town. You'll put your people through a struggle unlike any other."

Dash flew up to me. "Who's side are you on?! Those lands are theirs! It's their sacred trampling ground!"

"I'm not on neither side. Relax. I'm just trying to make sure no one does anything they'll regret." My eyes shifted over to the chief. "But something tells me that you won't really be swayed by my warnings."

The chief glared at me. He called off his people. "This is something we must do, alien. There's no way of talking me out of taking our land."

"Fine. I guess I'll see you on the battlegrounds then." I walked off to a large rock not too far from the camp. After a while, Dash flew by the rock as I was munching on half of my third to last granola bar. "Hey Skittles."

"Hey Xavier." She landed beside me. "Things are really going crazy around here. Little Strongheart doesn't want this fight to happen either. I don't know if you can talk Chief Thunderhoof out of trampling the town, especially after you shot Heavyfeathers."

"That was Jeff with the gun, not me. And I stopped him before Little Strongheart got the same treatment, or worse." I handed her the other half of the bar. "And yeah, if Jack doesn't get things settled down in Appleloosa, then we're going to have to go with plan B."

"Plan B?"

"It'll involve a lot of talking."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Then, with no intention on hurting anyone, I may have to resort to using the guns."

This got Dash's eyes to widen. "You're not going to-"

"I only plan on scaring them into a compromise. They're on edge just by me being around them. Why? Because they know nothing about me, humans, and our weaponry. Only that we know how to use it, and that it's dangerous. Plan C is to use that to my advantage."

"I really really hope you won't have to go with Plan C."

"You and me both."

Friday
3/25

The next morning, I woke up. Today was the big day. I ate another granola bar and gave the last one to Dash. The buffalo had their war paint on their faces, traveling to Appleloosa. I got up and started to go with them. I was stopped by Chief Thunderhoof himself.

"You, alien, are fighting with us or against us. If you are not our ally, then tread away from my people."

"Trust me, big guy, if you were my enemy, there'd be none of you left right now."

"Even though you saved my daughter, alien, you're still a danger to the rest of us."

"Good."

He snorted and moved along. Soon, we were there, all lined up. I found Jack walking out of that salt saloon, looking for me. When our eyes made contact, he shook his head. Looks like we'll have to initiate Plan B. There was an intense stare off between the Appleloosans and the buffalo. It was quiet. I looked to the Chief. His daughter got his attention. He must've started having second thoughts about this entire thing. For a moment, it looked like he was about to call the entire thing off.

Nope.

"You gotta shaaaaaare! You gotta caaaaaaaare! It's the right thing to-"

"BOOOOOO!!!! GET OFF THE STAGE, PINKIE!!!" yelled Jack.

I seconded him. "NOT THE TIME!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

Pinkie's eyes started to water. I wasn't paying much attention to her though. I was looking at the Chief. If that song continued, he might've charged. I think now's the time. I gave Jack the signal. Him and I came from both of our sides and walked up to each other between the two factions and turned to the sides we both came from.

"May we have your undivided attention please!" We both said at the same time. "It's about time we gave each and every one of you a lesson on human history!" Of course, I could feel Twilight's enthusiasm raise literally from a mile away.

I started first. "Buffalo! There are humans like you. Proud people who value their traditions who once roamed the lands they also valued from which we were born in. Settlers from a far away land came and settled on their lands by mistake. They were going to share the lands at first, hence why the holiday Thanksgiving was founded." I didn't really remember if this is how it happened. It's been ages since I had touched the subject. They didn't really know though. Jack continued.

"The settlers eventually started wanting more and more from the native's land. When the natives refused to give what was asked, they had used many bogus and cheap tricks to take what they wanted, even at the cost of Native lives and tradition!"

I took the floor again. "Both sides considered each other savages. No one as willing to make amends or share." Pinkie was about to say something, waving her hoof, but the deadly looks Jack and I were giving her grounded it. "As a result, war broke out! Natives against the settlers. Just like what's going on here! Wanna know how that ended? I'll tell you. When we were innocent and ignorant kids, we used to play a game called 'Cowboys and Indians aka Natives.' No one wanted to play as the natives! It was an unfair game! The natives would always lose because of how advanced the cowboys were. I've only met but maybe two or three Natives in my entire life around where I live, and I live around hundreds of thousands of people! There aren't many of them left. Although Appleloosans don't have guns or cannons or impenetrable armor, you guys don't have bow and arrows. However, the town is an Equestrian one that is under Celestia's rule, and she can move the sun and moon apparently. How would you think she will take one of her towns with its subjects being trampled to starvation? Not too well. Chief! Think about your people! Your little girl! Do you want he to grow up under Celestia's punishment, barely meeting any of her kind to learn her roots from? It'll be even worse for her descendents!"

This got the buffalo to think.

"Jack. You're up."

It was Jack's turn to speak to the Appleloosans. "Ponies, in my personal opinion, you are all better than mankind. Enough to try to solve this problem to make everyone happy. If you keep their land hostage, the blood will be on all of your han-hooves!" Keep it together, Jack! "And it'll be on your hooves for generations! We all remembered the name of the settler who is at fault for the beginning of the land raiding back home! Do you really want your town and your name to go down that road throughout history, Sheriff Silverstar?! Appleloosa! Ruled by Sheriff Silverstar! Responsible for the disappearance of most buffalo! Not the kind of thing I'd want to take to my grave and the graves of my neighbors."

The Appleloosans looked at their sheriff, who in turn, looked down at his hooves. Plan B was working. Now to nip this in the bud. "Chief, Sheriff, come to the center so we can discuss a proper solution. We can come to a compromise. It may take all day, all night, but this is important. Twilight, magic us a table and some chairs and join us. You just might learn something." Everyone did as told. We were all seated at a round table with drinks. Both sides explained why they needed the land. The chief needed it for his people's traditional trampling grounds, and the Sheriff needed to feed his people. The buffalo needed a widened path to trample on, so a lot of the trees would have to go, but that would mean the town would lose a lot of its food source. The two leaders were trying to find a way around these issues, together. So far, everything was going perfectly.

Until...

'Grrrrrrrrrrrrmph....'

My stomach was growling. This caused both parties and my friends to chuckle a bit to my slight embarrassment. I looked around and saw a lot of pies. Apple pies. I turned to the Appleloosans. "Hey. Can someone bring us some of those pies here?" Sure enough, a few ponies brought some pies over. The chief looked at his like it was a foreign object. I took out my carved fork and dug into mine and man was it good! "Holy shit... Twi, you should try this!" She dug her muzzle into the pie and licked it clean.

"Wow! Applejack may have some competition! Just... don't tell her I said that."

"Yup. These apple pies are made with the famous Appleloosan recipes." Silverstar spoke with pride.

This sparked the chief's curiosity even more as he tried it himself. His eyes went wide."This really is good! Apple pies you call these?"

"Eeyup!" Silverstar said proudly.

"I've got an idea!" The chief started. "We will allow the orchard to stay. In return for a share of these delicious apple pies."

"Ya got yerself a deal!" Silverstar extended his hoof and Chief Thunderhooves shook it.

Okay, this... was an unforseeable solution to this entire problem, but I won't argue with the results.

The rest of the Buffalo were questioning their leaders decision until they got a taste of what we had. They instantly agreed. Problem solved. Mission accomplished. Plan B worked! I looked around. Everyone was happy.

"Meeting adjourned." I got up from my chair after Jack. Jeff was leaning against the saloon. We'll have to deal with him. His very presence puts everyone on edge, now including me. He was very quick to turn to violence. He even charged at me, his friend just to shoot more buffalo. I knew I was going to have to keep a close eye on that one.

Later on that day, we got on the train back to Ponyville. I was wondering what would have happened if we weren't there. I was mentally exhausted. I couldn't really sleep all that well, however. not with him around, so I stayed with the girls. They were asking me about the things I said and if they were true. I just told them that I said what I remembered. Like I said, I hadn't touched the topic in a long long time. Dash picked up on my exhaustion and let me sleep with her. Of course, Rarity had that look on her face. The look that said 'Wait until I get back to Ponyville and tell everybody about this.' It would've been a long ride back if I wasn't so tired. I went back to sleep.

Author's Note

Chapter 17, everyone.

I'M FINALLY DONE! I'm so tired. I was determined to get this done yesterday but ran into a few issues which kept me from working on it all day yesterday. And yes, I finished the chapter last night but decided to upload it today instead. I was tired.

I was 'Sans'ing it pretty hard there for a little moment. And before anyone starts talking about possible flaws in Xavier's history lesson, he's already explained why. Also, his goal wasn't to be one hundred-percent accurate, but to convince both sides to cooperate. It ended pretty well compared to the episode.

If you liked the chapter, please leave a thumbs up and comment on your thoughts. I'll start working on the next chapter soon. :pinkiehappy:

Next Up: 'Cutie Mark Chronicals' (I'l think of a clever chapter name later.)

Chapter 18: Tales of Rainbows and Butt Tattoos.

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

There are many things that can make you forget something important. Creating peace between a tribe and a town, stopping a trigger-happy idiot from shooting the chief's daughter, and having said idiot look at you with murderous eyes. Said important thing being Rainbow Dash's birthday, which was that Thursday we were in Appleloosa. It hit me as soon as I got home that I needed to do something for Rainbow. She probably thought I didn't remember, which I did, just... late. I needed to throw her a little party, and I knew just the mare to talk to. Unfortunately, she was still a little cranky about everything I've done recently, such as loopholes in her Pinkie Promise rules and telling her to shut up in the middle of her singing. Yeah, she called me a "big meanie pants." I replied with "Are my pants really that mean?" Farted, then replied "PANTS! THAT'S MEAN!!! You're really right Pinkie! My pants really are mean!" She giggled. Note to self. If you want to get back on Pinkie's good side, make her laugh. She tried to make a deal with me.

"If I give Rainbow a 'Happy Late Birthday' Pinkie-Party, you'll let me sing whenever I want to without any interruptions! And you have to sing along!"

Nope... Nuh-uh... "How about I just let you sing whatever song you'd like... No interruptions from me, regardless of if it's a good time for it or not. I'll even pinky promise."

Luckily she agreed to it without thinking twice about our deal. No interruptions from me, but that just means I'll have to keep Jack around. Another loophole exposed!!! She found out about that loophole shortly after during the party.

The party was a mix between fun, relaxing, and hilarious. Everyone was invited, even the trigger happy gunman. She figured it would loosen him up a bit. I thanked her for it. It was the first time he looked relaxed since I confiscated his weaponry. I told Bro and Jack what happened. Everyone agreed that Jeff was too dangerous and aggressive to have that kind of weaponry. Until now, he glared at me as if he was trying to kill me with his glare. I didn't really care. I figured he wouldn't try shit or else he'd be out of the house, and possibly the town. Bro hid all of his weapons somewhere in the attic until we could find a more secure place to put them. Anyway, back to the party. Jeff was less tense, Lyra was invited and was hanging with Bro and Scratch. Applejack brought a box of bottled cider for Dashie. She had already downed two of them. Dash was such a lightweight however. She was flirting with me hard! She's lucky I love her. Couldn't help but notice that she was about to tell me something that Twilight and Lyra didn't want me to hear as both mares covered her mouth. Something about a surprise for me.

"Dash you drunk mare! You're gonna ruin everything!" Lyra hissed.

"Ruin what?" I asked.

"N-NOTHING! Nothing! Dash is just drunk, so she was uh.. g-going to ruin the party?" Twilight said, smiling sheepishly.

Yeah, you three are hiding something... I was going to have to press them on that later. Pinkie started singing her birthday song for Rainbow, but was interrupted by Jack, who was standing right beside me screaming "boo!" and "get off the stage!" I bit my lips, trying not to laugh. Inner trolls should be kept fed. Pinkie stared at the two of us, still cheesing like she usually does while I shrugged and zipped my lips. I didn't interrupt you. Doesn't mean Jack couldn't. She was looking more at me, however. It was honestly starting to creep me out. Dash randomly hugging the side of my head snapped me out of it. What am I worried about? It's just a loophole. Heheh.

Dash and I hung out together for the remainder of the party. She was so hoping she could get me drunk, but unlucky for her, I don't drink. I do not partake in alcoholic beverages. I just don't like the taste of alcohol. Don't judge me! Twilight sided with me on that matter since she's against getting drunk also. "It's a bad habit," she said. We're on two different pages, Twilight. With that said, when the party was over, I walked her back to my house since she can't fly very well while intoxicated. Her house was out of the question. I got Derpy and Flutters to take Dash's cider to her house before we left. The night was interesting in my room. This was the first time Dash wanted me to "rut her silly," but she was going to be disappointed. One, I was tired. I did have a load of work to do that day. Second, she was drunk. For all I knew, we weren't at that part yet, and I don't take advantage of drunk chicks. It sure didn't stop her from trying to undo my belt. Not having any fingers made it difficult, but she gave up when I rolled on top of her.

A few days later, I went to Sugarcube Corner for lunch to find two pegasi royal guards blocking the entrance. I also saw that my pegasus fillyfriend was harrassing them. I guess she was playing that game people play with the Queen's Guard, and failing. They moved when I walked towards them though. They looked uneased by my presence, wings flared. At first I thought they were playing around. I saw them at the Young Flyer's competition weeks ago, but later found out from Twi that they were different ponies that looked the same. She told me that the armor is enchanted to make the coats white and mane and tail the same blue so no one could tell them apart or recognize them. Like hiding their identity to maybe protect their loved ones? When I stepped forward, they reared up and came after me. I was able to use my agility to dodge and get past them. Fluttershy saw the entire thing, and Twilight was not happy.

As Twilight told them off, I asked the Princess why they tried to attack me, and yeah, I already said what happened. Explanations, blah blah. After that, I was just hanging with Lyra, talking about what my world is like. She's been to my house before, saw my stuff and things, but I've never got a chance to tell her what Earth was like. Besides, I hadn't been spending a lot of time with her recently besides Rainbow's birthday party. Don't wanna leave out any friends, ya know. Oh. I also found out that Celestia has an inner troll in her too. I saw that prank she pulled on Mr. and Mrs. Cake and gave her a thumbs up. She looked at me puzzled until Twilight whispered in her ear. Celestia just cheesed at me. Right. Pony = no fingers, and Twilight has a dragon with hands. I noticed she had a pet bird who looked like it lost its feathers from afar. Poor bird must've been in its last years.

She had to leave shortly after, Celestia had princess business with the mayor. Before she left though, she asked about my brother who she oh so wanted to meet since he was the most mature and in charge of the rest of our little group. To be honest, none of the ponies aside from Dash, Twi, and AJ have seen much of him. He was either at home or at Vinyl's. Anyway, I gave the princess a small scratch behind her ear before she left. She gave me a quick nuzzle before leaving. Everyone bowed down save for me of course and then turned to look at me, either with great interest or with great offense that some creature had touched their princess. I didn't really care though, but I couldn't help but think that I missed a perfect time to troll everybody right then and there. I went to get some of the delicious baked goods that were almost half gone when I noticed it was still quiet. The only pony that wasn't staring at me still was Lyra, who was following behind me trying to put her head under my hand. Now it was starting to bother me. I quickly made my way to the exit with Twilight, Lyra, and Dash following me. I asked if there was going to be a problem, but Twilight said there wouldn't be anything besides gossip and possibly a few disdained looks from ponies in Canterlot. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

That left me questioning, however. Why was I so chill with the princess? I doubt that I like her the same way I like Twilight and Rainbow. At the very least not then. Besides, even if I did, it definitely wouldn't work if what Twilight has told me were true. I don't know the average pony life span, but if Celestia's been around for thousands of years, I'll only be around her for a small portion of her life. She's been all but nice to me after that moment when we first met. But she is rather majestic.. and pretty... eh, I'll just call it a crush. It should probably stay just that, though, for her sake.

Anyway, the four of us were just hanging out infront of the house, Lyra constantly asking questions about humans and our inventions and gadgets. I've lost count of how many times she said the word 'hands'. It's not like she hadn't seen hands before. Twi's number one assistant has hands after all. Soon after, Twi went to pay each of her visit to thank them for being on their best behavior or something along those lines, with the exception of Dash who was right there, and I still had work to do. Lyra even volunteered to help. We left Dash to take a nap on a cloud somewhere. We had to fix a broken table. Heh, broken being the understatement of the day. It was practically shattered, and I had already agreed to do it. Now this would've taken me a good several hours to do by myself, but thanks to Lyra, it was all done in three.

When we were paid, done, and out, Lyra and I went on a walk with her on my back. She wanted to feel what it'd be like to be tall as a human. We stopped by the town square when we heard arguing coming from none other than Fluttershy and Twilight infront of an unpleased princess. As it turns out, Fluttershy kidnapped the princess's sick bird to try and help it, but that didn't turn out very well. And then the ashes turned into a phoenix. A fucking phoenix. No, not the lawyer, the mythical fire bird. Said fire bird had an inner troll too and had been playing a prank on Fluttershy all day. Serves her right for birdnapping the princess's pet.

-Recap over-

-Jack's POV-

Monday 3/28

It was that time again. Time to head off to see my lady and help her with whatever she needs done. I think today she was on her way to set up her apple stand for selling. Whenever she needs that, all I ever do is help with the stands and take over when she needs a break. It's not much, but I wouldn't bother telling that to everyone else. When I got to Sweet Apple Acres, she was already done loading the apples and was carrying the wagon.

"Howdy sugar!"

"Hey babe. Need some help with that?"

"Ya know darn well what Ah think about that there 'h'-word."

"Right. You can do it yourself. So why am I here then?"

"What if Ah just like havin ya around before anypony else can get to ya first?" She said, winking at me. I chuckled, scratching behind her ears. We started heading to town through white-tail woods. Simple trip, right? Nope. Three bunnies came out of a bush and took one apple each. AJ went after them yelling "YOU THIEVING VARMINTS!!" before leaving me alone with her load. I went on ahead and followed her, pulling the carriage through the bushes, going after her. Soon, I could hear her talking to someone. As I got closer, I could see that she was telling a story to the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Gang). She was talking about when she went to Manehatten as a filly because she thought she was a city person. When she couldn't fit in, that's when she realized she was actually a country girl. All because of a rainbow that led to Ponyville. That's when she got her cutie mark. I smirked. I had to troll.

"So you have leprechauns here? You missed your chance to find his pot of gold in Manhattan."

"Manehattan." AJ corrected.

The Crusaders looked at me."JACK!"

"Sup girls?"

Applebloom came up to me. "Nothing really. Mah big sis was tellin' me how she got her cutie mark!"

"Yeah!"

"Well I wanted to talk to Rainbow Dash! Applejack's was all sappy!"

"Too each his or her own, Scootaloo." I replied

Applejack saw the bunnies making faces at her before dashing off. "Why those no good-"

"Applejack, let it go now! Those are only three out of the many apples I dare not count in this wagon!" I said, looking at the wagon she would've left behind. She snorted and took the wagon again. "And I'd suggest putting a tarp over the wagon so it'd be harder to grab the apples."

I swear, I picked the mare that doesn't think things through. Sweetie and Apple Bloom jumped on their wagon that was attached to the back of Scootaloo's scooter and took off to find someone else to bother about cutie marks. That's one way to get around.

It was a couple of hours when AJ had closed up shop and got her things onto her wagon. I escorted her back to her barn so I could help put things away. She seemed done for the day, so I headed back to town for the next task I had to do. Only I was being followed. I looked over my shoulder to see my fillyfriend tagging along.

"Something else I can do for you?"

"Ah was just thinkin the other day, Ah saw Lyra helpin Xavier with his job and it helped speed things up for 'em. And Ah was thinkin'-"

"That you could follow me around and help me with my tasks at hand?"

"Eeyup."

"Come along."

"Oh.. And can Ah... uh.."

I sighed, turning around to face her completely. "What is it, Fluttershy? Spit it out."

She stared at me, raising an eyebrow. "What'dya call me?"

"Fluttershy. You're actin like her right now minus the lack of volume."

"Oh.. well uh.. Ah was wonderin' if Ah could.." She was shuffling her hooves. "Ah saw Xavier carry Lyra on his back so Ah was thinkin-"

"That you want to see things from human height? Or do you just wanna be carried like a bridal mare?" I asked. I really do love teasing.

Her head turned beat red, her nodding her head.

"Well, all ya had to do was ask, ya know. I didn't think you were the shy type. You were always more of a straight forward chick."

"Yeah Ah know.."

I turned around and squatted so she could hop on. She tucked her tail between her legs before climbing on and holding on tight. When we were in town, I was surprised we weren't getting any looks. Probably because they've already seen Xavier carry Twilight or the crusaders on his back. Speaking of Twilight, why weren't ponies staring at us? Because Twilight Sparkle was jumping around like she won the lottery. She bumped right into us in her excitement.

"Say, Twilight, if you've won the lottery, think it'd be best if you hide the excitement until you cash in your ticket."

"Oh I am so so sor- wait.. what's a lottery?" She asked. I just chuckled.

"So what's going on?"

"Oh, I was just telling the three little fillies how I got my cutiemark. I guess I got er... caught up in the memories.." Twilight blushed, embarrassed.

"Well where are they?"

"They're looking for Rainbow Dash. I forgot to tell them that she's in Sugarcube Corner though. Oops."

"No problem. We'll just head there and let her know."

Twilight and I were walking to Sugarcube Corner while I was carrying Applejack. AJ looked like she was enjoying herself up here. Twilight went on and told us why she was jumping around and about how she got hers aka how she became Princess Celestia's personal student, aka how Spike was born. Wait... Doesn't that mean Spike is older than he looks? When we got there, surprise surprise, everyone but Pinkie was there, including Xavier and our siblings.

"Sup Jack?"

"Sup?"

Jack and I did our little handshake thing.

"So what brings you three here?" He asked.

"We were actually looking for Rainbow Dash. The Three Girl Stooges wanted her to tell them about how she got her cutie marks."

"Well, darling, we've already told the girls about how we all got our cutie marks." Rarity responded.

Okay now I was curious."Really? Mind filling me in?"

"Yeah, me too. It never did cross my mind." Xavier added.

To summarize everything said, Fluttershy fell off of a cloud at a young age after she started a race between Rainbow and two of the bullies that nearly killed me a little while ago and made contact with wild life for the first time. Rarity was magically dragged to a gigantic rock that was filled with diamonds that she could use to make outfits for a play, and Pinkie told us about her party at her rock farm when she arrived. How in hell's name do you farm rocks? Twi and AJ repeated their stories for Xavier who noticed something in their stories. He got my attention and pointed to a corner. He started whispering when I followed him.

"Notice anything in peculiar about their stories?"

"What? Something strange about it?" Where was he getting at?

"Yeah. All of their stories have rainbows in it. A rainbow happens right before they make some accomplishment and gain their marks..."

"Hey! That's right..." They did have that similar feature in their stories.

"Remember Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom?"

"I wasn't there, remember?" I was doing your work while you were venturing off with the girls.

"Oh right... nevermind then."

"Is everything alright, darlings?" Rarity asked from behind the counter.

"Yeah, things are fine, Rarity. Xavier just noticed something."

Before they could ask, the crusaders came through the door, asking for Rainbow's cutie mark story. Let's summarize it again. Rainbow, during a race for Fluttershy's defense, got hers by performing the sonic rainboom. Looks like Xavier ca-

"CALLED IT!" Xavier shouted.

Fluttershy thought fora while before she got the same idea Xavier did. "Wait a second. I heard that explosion. And I saw the rainbow too. Rainbow Dash, if you hadn't scared the animals, I never would have learned I could communicate with them and gotten my cutie mark."

"I heard that boom! And right afterwards, there was this amazing rainbow that taught me to smile."

"When I got my cutie mark, I saw a rainbow that pointed me home. I bet it was your sonic rainboom!"

"There was this explosion I could never explain when I got my cutie mark." Said Rarity

"This is uncanny! If that explosion didn't happen when it did, I would have blown my entrance exam." Twilight looked at Rainbow. "Rainbow Dash, I think you helped me earn my cutie mark too!"

Pinkie pounced on Dash. "We all owe our cutie marks to you!"

"Do you realize what this means? All of us had a special connection before we even met."

"We've been BFFs forever and we didn't even know it!" Rarity exclaimed

The ponies did a group hug. When they did, Xavier grinned "That's right! I remember that day! I saw Rainbow's sonic rainboom too! That's how I got my cutie mark!"

Pinkie jumped up excited. "REALLY?!?"

"Nope." Everyone gave Xavier a deadpan look as he grinned. "Humans still can't get cutie marks, remember?"

The ponies laughed. You really love trolling, don't you?

"I guess my lil fillyfriend is more awesome than I thought she was." Xavier said, plucking Rainbow out of the crowd. I looked at Twilight who looked like she was about to start pouting. "No worries, Twi. I already know you're amazing." He said, pulling her out of the pile instead. That was before the ponies started cuddling against him too, Xavier not minding Rarity for a moment. Are ponies always this affectionate with each other?

"So cute!" AB said.

"So sweet!" said Sweetie Belle

"So mushy! Gross!" Scootaloo gagged.

"Yeah, there are children here." I told him. Looks like I like ruining moments too. Heheh... "You can cuddle with your harem and my filly friend another time." This time it was my turn to be looked at.

"What's a harem?" Twilight asked, pulling away from the group. AJ did the same, walking back to my side.

I gave out a sly smirk. "Oooh nothing." Heheheh.

"What is it, sugar?" AJ asked in an annoyed way.

"Do ya really wanna know?" I was really trying not to laugh at this moment. Xavier was giving me nods and a grin.

"A harem is a group of girls attracted to a single guy. Either romantically or se-"

"SUGAR! Kids! In the same room!" AJ yelled, blushing beet red. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie did the same. They were all red, the later giggling. The crusaders looked puzzled. I just couldn't resist.

"Just one question though." I asked, opening my arms. "Where are my hugs?"

"We're out!" Scootaloo shouted, pulling her friends out the door, me laughing at them. I'm such a troll!

The others didn't catch on and I was soon attacked by the mares' hug attacks, which was alright until..

"DOG PILE ON JACK!!!" was all I needed to hear before I braced myself. Even scoots and her friend came back to do just that.

-Xavier's POV-

After everyone and pony got off of my best friend, he dusted himself off, glaring daggers at me. He always loved dog piling, but he never liked being dog piled on. Now that everyone was here and I was done with my work for the day, maybe I could treat everyone to shakes and just chill until we leave.

Flutters jumped up."Hey! How about a song?"

"Definitely!" Pinkie agreed, along with everyone else. There was only one song in my head that started before I trucked through everypony like an NFL player to get out of there. Move bitch, get out the way!

"TAKE ME WITH YOU!" yelled Scooter before she latched onto my shin.

The rest of the day was spent with Scooter and the little siblings at home. Scootaloo told them about everything that happened that day and everyone's story on how they got their cutie marks. Everyone seemed to be interested. Was Hiroto taking notes?

"OOH! I wonder what my cutie mark would be if I was a pony!" Jonathan asked.

"A crossed out chill pill?" I guessed. Jonathan puffed his cheeks at me.

"A sword and shield! He is brave! Not as brave as Rainbow Dash, but still pretty brave." Scoots said, referring to the cockatrice.

"Only because he has no sense of danger... yet.." I said before letting out a yawn. "Welp, I think I'm gonna head upstairs and nap a bit. One of the others should be back shortly.

It was a pretty long nap. I didn't wake up until around 7:30 for dinner. I noticed Scootaloo was still here, talking with her human comrades.

"Hey Scoots, shouldn't you be at your house?" I asked.

She lowered her head, sad. "Yeah.. but my caretaker has the flu and couldn't make it today. I was hoping to stay over Sweetie Belle's or Apple Bloom's, but nobody came."

...But nobody came.

Hm... Why would they just leave her here? "Hey. I'm sure they saw you leave with me. I guess they trust us to take care of ya, although I wish they asked first."

Jack came from the kitchen. "Well, you did run over everyone and out the door to escape the singing."

"Touche'. Well, Scooter, I suppose you can stay a night here and share a room with Bri."

"But Bri's bedtime is your bedtime, little girl! Ya got school tomorrow!" I heard Bro say from the other room. Killjoy.

"Okay!"

I pet Scootaloo on the head before getting myself some grub. We were having fish again. I miss meat... I wasn't really all that hungry however. I just got the fish. I'll save those onion rings for lunch another day. After bagging my onion rings, I left to sleep for the rest of the night.

Author's Note

And Chapter 18 is done and may have to be rewritten. I'm not one hundred percent sure about this one. I'll rewrite it if I still think it needs to be when I'm done with this season at least. I wouldn't want to keep my wonderful audience/readers waiting.

Oh. Further warning, the next few chapters may be short. I don't have much written out for them. Three more chapters left for this season, then I'll take a break. I'll keep posting fun questions for you guys so you won't think the project is dead.

Anyway, hit the thumbs up button if you liked it and send leave a comment on what you thought about the chapter.

Next Chapter: The Intervention

(Expect Drama. :twilightoops: )

Chapter 19: Intervention within Intervention

Chapter 19: Interventception!

-Xavier's POV-

Tuesday 3/29

I woke up in cold sweat. Shit...Had that dream again. I picked up my phone and looked at the time. 3:-fucking-30... in the morning... When I moved to do so, it hit me. I wasn't alone in my bed. There was a human arm that wrapped itself around me from behind. I paid no attention to the fact that it was coated with fur. I went back to sleep thinking I was in another dream... that was within a dream, within a dream.... Fuckin inception, man. It had to be a dream. There aren't any human girls my age where I currently reside. I went right back to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, pretty much forgetting everything that had happened that night until I looked at my window. It was open. I never leave my window open. When I went to close it, a light blue blur crashed into me.

"Hey monkey boy, what're you doing up so early?"

"Hey Skittles. What do ya mean early, it's..." I grabbed my phone from the table next to the bed and looked at it. "7:27 AM... yeah that is early. What about you? What are you doing here this early?"

"I was just gonna go back to sleep after I- uh... talked to Twilight about something." Rainbow said, her eyes shifting. Definitely not the element of honesty.

"Wait... you came over last night? Who let you in? I was sleep."

"Scootaloo. I came here after watching a meteor shower with the girls."

"Of course." I made note to talk to Scooter about her letting someone in my house without letting anyone know.

"Anyway... what are you gonna do now that you're up?"

"I dunno. Maybe start my day off early, perhaps? Sooner I get everything done, sooner I'm off."

"Oh really? Guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm off today, monkey boy! That means we get to hang!"

"All the more reason for me to get this shit out the way so I can chill." I said, starting my morning routine. Since I decided to start my work early, she decided to sleep in. I looked at the list. There wasn't much to do. Fluttershy needed help feeding her animals this morning, and Golden Harvest needed help with a few things too. Funny thing about her is that I once called her Carrot Top because her mane is the same color as the comedians, and she does talk about carrots a lot. She thought I was making fun of her, so I started calling her Golden Harvest again. Won't stop me from asking about any props. Other than those two things and the daily checking on Twilight, this work was going to go by fast.

When I got to Fluttershy's cottage, I knocked on the door and almost instantly, I heard crashing from inside, along with a groan and a "Angel, can you get that for me? If... that's okay with you.." I've helped Fluttershy before, and I'll tell you that is one disgruntled bunny. The bunny opened the door and stared up at me.

"May I come in?" I asked, giving him a look he new all too well. The first time I asked, he tried to slam the door on me, which resulted in me pulling a Spike and kicking the door in and having him slammed into the wall. I don't play that shit, especially with no punk ass bunny rabbit. He stepped aside real quick. I walked inside of the cottage and saw Fluttershy coming downstairs. She still had a bedhead.

"Oh.. Xavier.. What brings you by this early?"

"Well, I woke up early and figured I'd get an early start on my work. Dash has the day off, so..."

"Oh! Well.. just give me a moment and I'll.. tell you what to do.."

After Flutters got herself together and ready for whatever this day had to throw at her, she led me out back and told me who eats what and how much they should eat this morning. One thing that definitely caught my attention was the big-ass bear she was keeping. And my little sister comes over here often... She reassured me that Harry was friendly and wouldn't hurt anyone unless attacked. I asked if there was anything else I should know that may cause concern, and she said no at first... until she remembered a manticore she befriended. I've never seen a manticore before, but they are described as lions with a scorpion tail and bat wings. Son of a bitch, this chick is a beast master... When Fluttershy left to go wherever she had to go, I was alone with the animals. When I finished giving everyone their breakfast, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to find my little sis.

"Hey Bri."

"Hey Xavier! Miss Fluttershy said that I could take over if I wanted to and I'm booooored!"

"So I guess I'm off the hook?"

"Yuppers!!"

"Alrighty. I'll be on my way. Just one thing." I let her in while looking for a specific white bunny. I found him all the way on the other corner of the room. I walked to him, pat his head, leaned down, and grinned at him. "I'm going to be leaving. God or Celestia knows what'll happen to you if anything happens to my sister. Let's just say I'll be having bunny rabbit stew." He gulped while sweating bullets. I think he gets the message. After that, I left leaving behind a confused sister and a frightened bunny with the animals. Next stop, Twilight's! When I got there, I opened up the door to Spike arguing with an owl.

"Look! All you need to know is that I'm number one, and you're number two!"

"Hoo."

"Well, a man of mystery, huh? I'm keeping my eye on you!"

Okay, I just HAD to point out something here..."You do know that's an owl, right?"

"Oh hey Xavier! Look at this guy. If he thinks he can steal my number one assistant title from me, he's got another thing comin!" Spike said, glaring at the owl.

"Hoo."

"You!"

"Hoo?"

"I'm talking about you!"

"First of all, he's an owl, and owls are nocturnal birds. Secondly, this owl can't talk. 'Hoo' is all he can say. Ya look like a dummy."

"Well, Owlowiscious is the one treading on my territory!" He argued. That's his name?

"Okay, Spike, you need to chill." This guy's probably riled up over nothing. "You're getting all upset and paranoid over a new pet. Like seriously. You're actin like Fluttershy's rabbit."

He looked away from the owl towards me. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I was here hoping to find out what Twi needed from me today."

"Well, we do have an owl infestation." He said, looking back to the owl.

I mentally and physically facepalmed. "Spike... I'm almost certain she's not going to replace you."

"Almost?!?" He shouted. I left. I'm not putting up with that. Well, I attempted to leave, but on the other side of the door were the girls. Rainbow was eavesdropping.

"Hey Xavi!" screamed the waving party mare. I waved back at her before turning to Twilight.

"You really need to talk to Spike. He has the idea that you're replacing him with your new pet owl.."

"I'm sure they'll get along just fine." Twilight said. No one listened to me. Fuck this shit I'm out.

On my walk home, Rainbow had managed to catch up to me.

"Can you believe that Spike is actually jealous of Twilight's owl?"

"It's dumb. You'd think Spike would know that he's irreplaceable." I got to my house and opened the door. I went straight to my room and lied down on my bed, Dash plopping right on my stomach. "I guess we're going to be slacking off together today?"

"Yeah." She said, lying her head down on my chest. We lied there for a while in silence.

"This is nice."

"Yeah.." From the corner of my eye, she was staring at me, as if thinking happy thoughts. I can see it in her eyes. Her breathing was mighty calm. I guess she's daydreaming.

I smiled a little bit, but not because of what she could be thinking about. No. This was an opportunity. An opportunity to do something absolutely hilarious. Sure, this may ruin the moment, but I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it. Taking a deep breath, I prepared my little shenanigan.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Have you seen a cat get startled by sudden movement? How they jump in the air in fright? Replace the cat with a light blue rainbow-maned pegasus mare. I was rolling in bed. When Rainbow got herself together, she puffed her cheeks at me.

"Not cool, monkey boy!"

"Love you too."

She blushed before coming back to bed, looking to the side. "Hmph! You're lucky I like you, idiot.."

I chuckled and kissed her. "I couldn't help it. I just couldn't."

"Yeah yeah."

And then we just lied there.

-Jack's POV-

I was walking to the library with AJ her other friends. Twilight had someone to introduce us to. Hey. Maybe it's another hot mare to look at. My thoughts didn't go unnoticed as I received a nudge from Pinkie.

"Watcha thinkin about?" She asked.

"Oh nothing." I didn't know I was still wearing the same smile while looking at her.

"If you're thinking happy thoughts I wanna know what it is so I can be happy too. And then I can tell other people those happy thoughts and then they can be ha-"

I started tuning her out. Pinkie was cute and fun to be around, but when she starts babbling, it gets annoying real quick. That's saying something because it takes a lot to annoy me. I also need to learn to hide my thoughts better. At least Pinkie didn't know what I was really thinking about. I doubt AJ would like it even with all the polaygamy going on. When we got there, Twilight was waiting in front of the library with an owl on her back.

"Heya Twi."

"Hey Jack. Hi girls. I want you all to meet my new helper, Owlowiscious. He's finally awake."

"MMRPH!" was all that came from me before covering my mouth. Holy shit that's hilarious! Where in the hell do ponies come up with these names?!

"What? What's so funny?!" Twilight asked.

"I-It's.. Heheh! It's-PBPFFAAAHAHAAAA!!" I lost it. Even Pinkie started laughing, although I doubt for the same reason, but who cares? After a few minutes of laughing while being stared at by 4 mares and an owl, I had finally calmed down.

"Care to explain what's so funny about my new pet owl?"

"What was his name again?" I asked.

"Owlowiscious."

"PBTBPPHFFAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAHAA!!" I fell over on the ground.

"Sugarcube, we get it. Ya think his name sounds funny." AJ said looking down at me, bemused.

"I know babe, b-but really! I guess I'm Humaniscious to ya. It's a horrible owl pun!"

"I'll name my owl whatever I wanna name him!" Twilight said blushing from embarrassment.

"Sure, but I'm calling him Louis."

"Whatever." she said, rolling her eyes.

The next five minutes were spent with the owl being surrounded by Twilight's friends, talking about how awesome he is.

"He looks wonderful."

"He looks wonderful!" somebody mocked from the tree. I looked up and saw it was Spike. "Uh, yes! Wonderful! He is quite..." he mumbled something else I couldn't catch.

"Heya Spike! What'cha doin up there? Come down here for a moment and talk with us."

"No! I mean no thank you. I'm fine up here. Thanks." Spike said. You're acting mighty strange today, aren't you? I knew something was up with Spike, especially when Rarity gave the owl a bedazzled bow tie. Spike stomped his way inside the library.

"What's he all saddle sore about?" AJ asked

"Looks like he sees the bird as an intruder."

"Oh dear... First Xavier hating Rarity and now Spike hating Owlowiscious..." The moment she said this, Fluttershy covered her mouth. Everyone but me gasped at this.

"Say what now?"

"WHAAAT?!"

"Xavier what?!" Twilight turned to me. "Is... this true?"

"Really?! You guys really didn't notice? The way he looks at her, and how he reacts to whenever she opens her mouth? Wow you guys are slow."

"He... hates me?" Rarity asked, completely shocked.

"Well yeah. He really really doesn't like you. Just hearing your name makes him frown. Holy crap."

Applejack nudged my side. "Sugarcube."

"Yeah?"

She pointed to Rarity whose eyes were watering. "I knew I upset him a few times and I know I know I'm not his favorite, but.. I never knew he hated me.." She turned to me. "Why does he hate me? What did I ever do to him? I've never been hated before!"

"He hated you since the Young Flier's Competition, and told me why, but... I don't know if I should say..." Fluttershy said.

A couple of thoughts went through my head. I knew he hated Rarity. The look he gives her. I can't seem to remember the last time I saw that look in his eyes, but that's one look that I'd rather not be on the receiving end of. I guess as Rarity's friend, and Xavier's best friend, it's going to be up to me to solve this issue.

What a drag...

-Xavier's POV-

I woke up to knocking downstairs. I tried to get up, but Dash was holding on to me, still asleep. When I looked outside, I noticed it was getting dark. I'll wake her up later. I unwrapped her hooves from around me and pulled the covers over her when I got up. I went down to the front door. When I opened it, I was met with the most sad and pitiful sight. Spike was at the door, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes, holding a bindle over his shoulder.

"Uh, hey Spike. How can I help ya?"

"C-Can I stay here for a while?"

I looked at his bindle again. "Uh, sure I guess. Why?"

"T-Twilight.. She d-doesn't love me anymore!"

It took every nerve and concentration in my body to refrain from even smirking. This is about the owl, isn't it? I guess he wasn't listening to me. Not much a surprise. Nobody hardly ever listens to me at first. "Sure. Come in. And wipe your feet." Spike did just that before coming in.

"Do you have any gems? I'm kinda hungry." Spike asked.

"We have a bag of ring pops we got for Halloween last year. That's the closest thing we have to edible jewelry. Not like we were around to give 'em out anyway, but you should probably eat some real food first."

As on cue, Spike's stomach growled. Spike and I ended up sharing left over onion rings. Spike's never had onion rings before. He told me that onions were mainly used as food decorations and flavor enhancers, never eaten directly. After we ate, we chilled in the living room.

"So you say Twilight doesn't love you anymore. Why do you think so?"

"She said she didn't.."

"Are you sure?"

"She said she didn't love me anymore. So I left."

By then, I was pretty sure he took her words out of context. This didn't sound like Twilight at all. "You're pretty sure Twilight said she didn't love you?"

"Yes! She said it! She said she didn't love me anymore!" He started tearing up again. I still doubt she'd say that, but then again, Spike is here with a bindle. Just to be sure...

"Alright. I'll talk to her about it whenever I see her again. For you, little buddy."

Spike beamed. "Really?!?"

"I don't see why not. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, don't you worry." I said, purposefully being a bit dramatic.

"You are the coolest!" Spike screamed. Glad I got Spike back in a good mood.

Once again, someone knocked on the door. I opened it to see Jack and Rainbow's friends, standing there. The only one that wasn't wearing a concerned look was Jack and Rarity. She looked like she's been cry-Son of a bitch. What the hell is going on with Rarity now? Jack walked past me and went straight to the kitchen.

"Hey girls, and hello to you too, Jack." I said, looking back at him. Must be hungry.

Twilight spoke first. "Xavier, we need to talk, but first, is Spike here?" Do you know how to return a greeting? Say 'Hello'.

"Yeah. Oh, and I need to talk to you too, Twi, about Spike. Before you come in, Spike said you told him you didn't love him anymore. What's up with that?"

This made the other girls gasp.

"Twilight! How could you?!"

"No, Pinkie, I told him that he wasn't being the Spike I know and love. He lied to me about burning a book and then he made a mess in the Library to frame Owlowiscious." Twilight explained. I looked in the room Spike was in. He ain't tell me all that, but still...

"Maybe you should be careful with your words. Spike kinda took it way out of context."

"I can see..."

"You can apologize and talk to him about that later. Now what was this other thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

Twilight opened her mouth, but it wasn't her voice I heard.

"Do you really hate me, darling?" Rarity stood on her hindlegs and pressed her hooves against me. "Is it true?! Why? What did I do to make you hate me?!"

It was quiet for a good minute until I decided to speak.

"Get... off of me..."

She got back on all fours. I turned around to go upstairs, only to turn face to face to Rainbow Dash. She didn't look too happy with me at the moment.

"Sup Skittles." I could see her wince for a moment.

"Don't 'Sup Skittles' me! You're being really mean to my friends!"

"No I'm not..." I said. Dash has been hanging out with me a lot, and by now, she had learned to pick up on my technicalities.

She face-hoofed, groaning. "You know what I mean. You're being mean to our friend. Rarity is our friend!"

"Not mine."

"What the hay is your problem?!"

"No problem here."

"Ugh! You're just like Gilda!"

"No I'm not. Gilda was a bully who thought she was tough enough to diss everyone and get away with it without consequences. I'm just not interested in being Rarity's friend for my own reasons. Can you see the difference?"

"And just what would these reasons be?"Rainbow asked, eyeing me. Shit...

"...Reasons."

"If Phoenix Wright was here, he'd start seeing Psyche Locks on you." I heard Jack say from the other room. The girls looked in his direction, puzzled from a reference they have no knowledge about.

"Quiet you!"

"You're hidin' somethin from us." AJ had a stern look on her face.

I was starting to get very uncomfortable. Who the hell do these girls think they are?!"Isn't everyone? What is with the interrogation? Look. I don't want to be friends with Rarity. Is that so hard to understand? I do not like her. I do not have to like her, and frankly, I find it invasive that you're trying to force it on me. Just gonna come up in my house and start giving me all this bullshit."

AJ gave the girls a look of confirmation. "Eeyup, he's hidin somethin from us." I was beginning to become annoyed with the ponies.

"Hey! Back the fuck off, cowgirl! What the fuck is your deal? What the fuck are you tryin to be? A living lie detector?" Yup. I'm pissed. "You know what, no... Get out. Get the fuck outa my house!"

"You guys can come in if you want." I heard bro say from upstairs.

"Thank you... Traevon was it?" Twilight said as they came in.

"Nope. Fuck this. I ain't gonna put up with this bullshit!" I yelled. I was not in the mood. I went back upstairs, purposely shoulder-pushing bro out of my way. When I got to my room, I closed the door and locked it. I shut the windows, locked them, and closed the blinds. I sat in my room, fuming. So now I have to be friends with all of their friends now? FUCK THAT!

There were hooves banging on my door.

"Xavier! Get your flanks out here!"

"No!!!"

"Xavier!"

"NNNNNNNNNNNOO!!!"

I heard Twilight's voice next. "Fine, but we're staying here until we talk about this."

They had left me alone, but they didn't really leave me alone. What do I mean? They stopped knocking on my door and trying to get me to come out, but they were still in the house. I could hear them talking about me, Twilight's conversation with Spike, Jeff and the kids coming home, and Rarity looking for a place to sleep.

"I have to sleep on the floor!? That is NO way for a lady to sleep!"

"Too bad. The couch is mine!" I heard Jeff say. I chuckled. Suck it, bitch!

I went to sleep shortly after.

The next morning, I had completely forgotten the ponies were down there. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom for my hygienic routine. When I came out, that's when I noticed it. Something that shouldn't be. The door to my parents' room was open. I walked into the room to find...quite the sight.

-Rarity's POV-

I woke up with a yawn. I had the most pleasant sleep. Are all human beds like this? It felt like I was sleeping on a cloud! No wonder why Rainbow used to sleep on the job a lot. It was quite the treat. Even more, I found a box of neat looking jewels last night consisting of bracelets, necklaces and rings. I just had to try them on. I heard someone enter the room. I yawned before seeing who it was only to find Xavier looking at me. He was smiling! He's never smiled at me before! I suppose he thought about it and realized that I am a good mare.

"Good morning, dear!" I greeted him. He must think I'm quite the sight with human jewelry on. I may have to take some home with me. "I must say, you humans do know how to live you know. I slept like a baby!" As I was talking and looking around, I didn't know he was gradually coming closer. "And these jewelry! They look absolutely glamorous for a fine damsel like myself, darling."

When I started hearing growling, I looked at him, this time realizing he was coming closer before I noticed...

That's not...a friendly smile..

Not only that but his hands were in a claw-like form.

"Um... Xavier dear?"

"You..."

I was scared... he really wanted to hurt me.. He was going to hurt me! He lunged at me,

So I screamed

-Xavier's POV-

I'MGONNAKILLTHISFUCKINGSELFCENTEREDSEFLENTITLEDFAKEASSWHINEYBITCHONCEANDFORALL!! YOU GONNA DIIIIIIEEEEE BITCH!!!

-Nope! Jack's POV-

I was woken up by a nasty shriek from upstairs. Jeff snapped awake and pulled out a hidden handgun he had under his pillow. Spike and Hiroto stumbled over each other while the ponies jumped at the sudden sound. I rushed upstairs to find Mr. and Mrs. Roberts' door open. Oh boy. In it was a pissed off Xavier chasing a screaming jewel covered Rarity. I facepalmed.. Those are his mom's jewels...

"Jeff! Help me out up here!" I yelled downstairs. Rarity ran past me. I grabbed Xavier by the arm and held him.

"LET GO OF ME! NOW!" Xavier yelled, struggling. This guy's fucking strong!

"JEFF!!!"

"Alright I'm comin! Geez." Jeff responded.

By then, Traevon came out of his room and saw their parents' door open.

"Who was in there?" he asked.

"Take a wild guess." I told him

He looked at me, then he looked at Xavier, then at the cowering fashionista behind him that was his primary target. He turned to her and knelt down to her.

"That room is off limits along with everything in it. Jewels included."

"But why? The bed felt so nice to sleep in! Why isn't anyone else sleeping in there?"

"That's their parents' room. That's why." I responded. "And those jewels you're wearing belongs to Mrs. Roberts. Their mom."

Rarity's eyes grew three sizes that minute. "Oh dear! Mr. Roberts! Xavier! I am very sorry! I just didn't know.. I just assumed-"

"You assumed wrong!" Xavier yelled, cutting her off. He broke free of my grip, but instead of charging at Rarity again, he went downstairs and out of the door. He didn't even put on his hoodie first.

-Xavier's POV-

I needed to be away from everyone for a while before someone got hurt. If I stayed there, I would've lost it again. I didn't really even want to hurt Rarity, but my hatred for her was too strong! I needed to go somewhere to calm me down, so I went to go to the park. The ponies were sure to stay out of my way. Well, most of them. I was sitting on the bench with my eyes closed when I heard someone sit down on the same bench next to me. I heard a familiar voice.

"You look like you've had better days." I turned to the voice.

"Oh.. hey Lyra. And yeah... Fucking Rarity... I just... sometimes I just wanna..." I growled and made a crushing gesture with my hands.

"It's not good to stay mad at somepony forever you know."

I gave out a sigh. She was right. I knew she was right, but I just couldn't help it. "I know, but I'm just SO FUCKING MAD!" She put a hoof on my arm. I noticed she was sitting like me. "Doesn't that bother you? I don't think your spine is built like mine..."

"I was just trying it."

"So what are you doing here? I came here to calm down so I won't hurt anyone."

"Well, you walked by and you didn't look happy, so I wanted to see if I could help."

"I don't see how. I mean, Rarity's friends are probably on her side, saying she did nothing wrong or whatever and I'm the crazy one. Dash even tried to compare me to that griffin chick last year."

"Grezelia or something like that."

"Gilda, and yes."

"Oh my Celestia! You are nothing like her!!! She was such a jerk to all of us!"

"Well, I did kind've almost attack Rarity for invading my parents' room and wearing my mom's stuff."

I expected her to agree with me, but surprise surprise, I felt two forelegs wrap around my neck.

"I'm sure it was just a huge misunderstanding. I think you should try to clear things up with your friends and at least try to level with Rarity. She's really a nice mare."

I grumbled at that. I really didn't feel like talking to Rarity, but I figured it would be best to at least apologize for almost pulverizing her, just to be fair. It's not like there was a rule against going in the parents' room since only a few ponies have been upstairs. There will be now. I returned Lyra's hug.

"I still think you're a nice human. Anypony can get angry you know, and at least you don't really want to hurt anyone."

"Yeah.. Thanks Lyra." I scratched behind her ears a little before standing up. She blushed like she usually does whenever I do that. "I'm gonna go head back and let everyone know I calmed down."

"O-Okay then!" She said, still blushing. "I'll see you later!"

I made my way back home. Some of the ponies that saw me earlier were still wary of me, but I waved anyway hoping to ease their conscience. I opened the door to my house and went to the living room only to find everyone and pony (with the exception of the kids and Jeff) sitting in a circle, looking at me.

"Oh no... Come on guys. Look, I've already calmed down." I looked at Rarity, who was still a bit shaken from earlier. "Sorry for trying to hurt you. I kinda lost it." Rarity was shocked for a while before she smiled and nodded her head.

"That's good! We're making excellent progress." Pinkie said, feigning a deep voice. I looked at her. She was wearing that novelty disguise glasses while writing on a notebook. I mentally face-palmed.

"We're glad you don't hate Rarity anymore. Now you can be friends."

"While I do believe hate is too strong of a word to describe how I feel about Rarity, we're far from friends." Rarity deflated when I said that. Twilight was about to say something, but there was something I needed to get out first. "Look. I know you want me to be friends with your friends. I'm not going to make you choose between me or her, but it's kinda wrong for you to nag and force me to be friends with someone I don't like. Friendships are supposed to form naturally, like with the rest of you guys."

Twilight was about to argue, but she sighed instead. "Okay I guess.."

"Woah woah woah! You're mad at something Rarity did to me that I already forgave her for?!"

"Rainbow, it's something you wouldn't understand. Hopefully you won't have to."

Fluttershy's ears perked at this. Right... I said similar words to Brianna when I first told Fluttershy.

"Isn't there anything I can do?" Rarity said, her eyes watering up. Oh fuck... Now I feel like an ass...

I took a moment to think about a most fair answer.

What should I do? I still don't want to be friends with her. I don't trust her. My hypothetical situation still stands. Would she be here if she had her wings? Probably not. I still don't trust her, and here and anywhere, trust is a two way street with friendship. It'd be wrong for me to tell her that we're friends when we're really not. I looked into her eyes. She seemed genuinely sad that I'm rejecting her. I cannot just let her close because of her sad look. She's too much like....'her.' For my own good, I can't just ignore that discomfort.

I know what my answer is now.

[You can stop the music if you want.]

"Sorry Rarity. I don't really know." I knew I was going to get disapproving looks from everyone, so I didn't bother staying. I went upstairs. While up there, I could hear what was going on. Rarity's crying, her friends consoling her, Rainbow saying she's 'going to have a talk' with me. Wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to dump me. Twilight too. I was sure the ponies downstairs were going to start hating me until I heard a light knock on the door.

"Xavier... can I please come in?"

"Come in, Fluttershy." I said, sitting on my bed. She along with an angry Rainbow and a concerned Twilight came in all at once. Great... "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Xavier, we just want to help you."

"Then stop trying to force me to be friends with someone I don't like."

"Rarity's not your bucking enemy!"

"Rainbow-"

"Not my friend either."

"It's not just Rarity alone, is it?"

"No it's not. So what?"

"Can't you tell us why you really don't want to be friends with Rarity?"

I covered my head. I really don't want to get that much into it... Can't they just leave me be? I looked at the three. Even Rainbow's hateful glare turned into a look of concern. I guess not. I let out a huge sigh. "Fine..."

-Flashback-

6 years ago.

7th grade had started for me three days ago. I figured after a long summer of hanging around with nothing but old people would make me want to socialize with my own generation for change, but the only one I could actually relate to was my best friend Jack. I couldn't even talk to him much considering he had a lot of other friends, and a girlfriend that he hangs out with frequently. He was a pretty loyal friend though who'd try to get me involved with everyone else. He even tried to set me up with this one girl. Her name was Samantha.. She was new and seemed nice and rather well refined. Her family was rich, and she looked like she could be a teen model of sorts. Most importantly, she seemed to have had eyes for me. However, I was still a bit nervous around the chicks, which she thought was cute. I met with her and Jack after school that day and we got to know each other. Weird thing, as well-dressed and fancy she looked, she seemed to be into gaming and a few other things I was interested in. I actually started to see her as someone I could be with. She was beautiful. She had the blue-est eyes I've ever seen, her jet black curly hair. She could've loosened up a bit and wore casual clothes instead of dresses, but I guess her parents wanted her to look her status in public.

Things were going great until the beginning of the second semester. She was getting more and more attention. You can guess what happened next. It all went to her head. We started hanging out less and less, and when I confronted her about it to see what was going on, she turned on me like Dahlia turned on Wright. Me not being one of the popular guys like Jack, I guess I wasn't good enough for her anymore. Me being the desperate loser teenager, I figured she wanted me to ask her out. I did, in front of everyone. She laughed. Everyone laughed. Everyone, with the exception of Jack. He was the only one who had my back, and when he confronted her about it, he tried to turn his friends against her, by either starting false rumors or other things. Fortunately for him, everyone knew Jack a lot better than they knew her. Jack kept most of his friends I think. Those that left him for Samantha, probably did it for the boobs, but they weren't great in number. I was pretty much broken for the next few years. Jack was the only friend I actually kept.

-Flashback over-

-Present day-

"I didn't take much chances after that. I was kinda still kinda suffering from it even before I ended up in magic pony land. Hell, I was pretty anti-social in high school for the most part." I had finished telling the dreadful tale of the betrayal that ruined my social life.

Fluttershy and Twilight looked like they were barely keeping it together. Rainbow looked like she was going to blow a fuse.

"Rainb-"

"WHAT THE BUCK WAS HER BUCKING PROBLEM?!?! OOH SHE IS SO LUCKY I'LL NEVER SEE HER FAT FACE!!!"

"Rarity reminded me of her at the young flier's competition." I looked at Dash. "How she turned on you just like that because of all the attention she was getting. She even sided with your bullies."

"Yeah! Those guys! I hope I never see those guys again after what they almost did to you!" Rainbow wrapped her fore hooves around me tight.

I heard sniffling from the door. "Oh GODDAMMIT!!!"

Turns out, AJ and Pinkie were listening in on my story. AJ had her hat off, holding it over her heart while Pinkie's mane looked a bit...deflated? Before I knew it, the five ponies were group hugging me. I started to have a warm feeling. It felt nice. I could already trust Twilight and Dash, but I felt like I could trust my other pony friends too. Yes, Lyra included.

"Ah'm sorry for eavesdroppin, but Ah had no idea ya had this kinda burden on ya."

"That Samantha was a big meanie pants!"

"You poor, poor thing..."

Twi kissed and nuzzled against me. "You won't ever have to worry about anyone else doing that to you again. We'll always be here for you."

"And if anyone does, you come and get me and I'll show 'em what's what!" Rainbow said, pounding her hoof.

"I guess you told 'em?"

I turned my attention to the new voice, Jack, who walked in the room.

"No. I told Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Twilight. The rest kinda listened in from around the corner." I told him, pointing to the eavesdroppers.

"Heheheh, yeah, like I said before again and again, I have no problem taking the blame for Samantha. If I wasn't trying to share the popular life with you, ya wouldn't have gotten hurt.

I chuckled a bit.

"But in all seriousness, I gotta say, introducing you to Samantha was one of the biggest regrets I have." He wore a serious look.

Applejack let go of me and went to him for nuzzling. "At least ya stuck by 'em when he needed ya the most. Ah gotta say, that there really does say how good a person you really are."

Jack blushed, scooping up AJ and hugging her. The girls finally let go of me (I'm still claustrophobic) and most of them went downstairs with Jack. The remaining pony, Twilight, stayed to talk a little more.

"Please try to get along with Rarity. She's not Samantha, and she'd never turn her back on her friends again." Twilight said before walking off. Maybe I should give Rarity another chance. I don't really hate her or anything. I thought for a moment. Nah, I'll become friends with her when I'm ready to be.

"This stuff takes time."

Author's Note

And so ends chapter 19 and the beginning of Xavier's healing. Shit! Writing this much drama took a lot out of me. Not much else to comment here. College started back up again, so there'll be less updates. I tried to do something different with this chapter by not centering it around the episode That's why there's no pissed off dragon or anything like that. If you'd rather me not center things around the episodes, you're in luck. There should be a lot more chapters like this in the future.

Anyway, hit the thumbs up button if you liked it and leave a comment on what you liked about the chapter.

Next Chapter: Pink Party

Chapter 20: Pink Party

-Xavier's Recap-

It's been a few weeks since my little intervention. Visually, things hadn't changed between me and Rarity. She still whines and says stupid shit that makes me wanna punt her like a football, but I was still trying to see her more than just as a whiny bitch who stabbed one of my fillyfriends in the back who reminds me so much of the bitch who back-stabbed me years ago. I knew it was going to take some time. Lyra started hanging out with us more too. Bro allowed it since she wasn't coo-coo for cocoa puffs over humans anymore, figuring we've been here for a while and would probably be stuck here for a while. Our neighbors and friends made that fact bearable for us before it even became much of a bother.

That question has been lingering in my head for a while though. If by chance we had an opportunity to go back, would we? Would I really leave all of my friends here? I know Jeff would go back no questions asked. He hates it here. I have a life here. Good friends, two girlfriends that really care a lot about me, a good relationship with the rulers, and a good paying job. Back on Earth, I have no friends. Maybe Skype buddies that I miss, but I know eventually they'll move on with their lives off of the internet. I'll be seeing them less and less anyway. Speaking of which, I also miss the internet. I miss youtube. I miss Markiplier, jacksepticeye, Sl1pg8r, and Skydoesminecraft. Those guys were awesome! God knows how many games that came out since my disappearance, PC steam games, Xbox games, Wii/3DS games, OH GOD NOSTALGIA! Most of all, I still miss my mom and dad, and I feel bad that I can't at the very least send them a message telling them that their kids, along with Jack and his siblings, are all alive, okay, healthy, and well. Oh. One last thing I miss:

Boobs! GOD I MISS BOOBS SO MUCH!!! Ponies may have the 'flanks' and naked most of the time, but that's only half on my mind! I MISS THE LARGE SOFT JIGGLY BOOBS!!! There was this girl in my neighborhood that Jack and I used to watch jog around our street. The BOUNCINESS!

Ugh... I need to stop... I'm starting to sound like him too.

Fluttershy's birthday was a few weeks ago. Everyone ended up combining hers with Rarity's since hers was right around the corner. Pinkie threw a huge party for them, but for Fluttershy's sake, not too many people were invited. Rarity was this close to complaining, but the look I gave her shut her up quick. That kind've earned me the same look from AJ, Twi, and Skittles, but hey. I didn't care. We had enough people/ponies for everyone to talk to without making one of the birthday girls uncomfortable. Fluttershy made her birthday wish the same time as Rarity. I sure hope Flutters doesn't waste her wish on me being friends with Rarity. Of course, I asked her. She told me that she knew it'd be a waste and understood that it'd be something that would happen on its own. I felt bad that I didn't get her anything, but she said that my presence there was more than enough for her.

The next week, the cutie mark gang stayed a few nights to work on some school group homework or something. Rarity and I rarely speak directly to each other, but when she dropped Sweetie Belle off, she gave me a warning. Here's how it went down.

"I know you and I have our issues, but if you, so help me, try to take out your frustrations with me on her, I'll-"

"Let me stop you there. First of all... YOU AINT GON' DO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT~!"

"If yo-"

"YOU AIN'T GON DO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!"

"Listen here mister! I have-"

"YOU! AIN'T GON DO SHIT! YOU AIN'T GON DO IT!" I chanted, dancing around like Kevin Hart.

"Excuse me!!!"

"Second of all, this is a strange way to get me to be friends with you. I'm not Jeff. I don't do stuff like that."

"Fuck you too!" I heard Jeff say from another room.

Although her head was starting to turn a little pink from me cutting her off and taunting her, she was satisfied with my answer and left. There hasn't been much issues. Bro and I kept the little girls and boy out of trouble whenever they came over. Well, mostly bro. I stayed upstairs most of the time. If anyone was troubling me, it was him nagging me about being lazy. The only break we had from the kids was at a party Pinkie threw for her pet gator, Gummy. No complaints. Either way, everyone was happy, except for AJ. She looked a bit in pain. Kinda think of it, I rarely saw her since a few days after the intervention.

-End of Recap-

(Monday 4/18)

-Xavier's POV-

The morning had started off rough for me. Mainly because I was woken up by having cold water dumped on my head.

"Wake up!" Jack, you ass...

"What the hell man!"

"Heheh, wake up. You'll oversleep again."

"Look. Don't do that shit again." I warned him.

"Yeah yeah, just get up already!"

When he left, I groggily got up. I guess I overslept, so I went on ahead and got ready. After my morning routine, I got a breakfast bar and a foam cup of coffee before walking outside, only to find out that it was at the crack of dawn. JAAAAACK!!! I couldn't believe he got me up this early! I made a note to get him back later. Speak of the devil, he was walking out of the house.

"Care to explain why you got me up at the crack of dawn?"

"AJ needs help with her apple duty." We started walking

"Yeah well you're lucky I have my cup of joe. Otherwise, you'd end up in a world of hurt."

"Heheh, right."

We were still walking through town when the ponies started opening up shop or whatever they had to do. I never knew ponies were early risers. It hit me.

"Hey, I remember you telling me that AJ has been off of apple duty for a while, and something was off about her at the gator's party yesterday."

"Yeah. She couldn't walk straight. Her hind legs have been feeling funny."

Well that sucks.... "Sorry to hear. You're a good dude to help her out like that, ya know."

"Yeah, but I probably should've been easier on her."

Well, I guess it makes sense. He should've be- I turned and spat out a mouthful of coffee on an unfortunate mare that was going the other way. Of course, I gave a quick apology, but I turned my head back to Jack. "...What?!"

"Hey. She had the best night of her life that night."

I completely turned to him. "MY GOD!! What- How- ... How do you do someone with four legs?!"

"Xavier, you're forgetting who you're talking to. I know how to be creative."

"Oh... right." That's why people at school called you Captain Kirk. I was so shocked that I didn't see what I should've seen coming.

"You know, maybe you and Rainbow-" I cut it off, right then and there.

"NO!"

"Why not? You're gonna stay with her and not bang?"

"CHANGING THE TOPIC!!!" I said aloud, getting a lot of looks.

"Okay okay. Shit, dude.."

We continued our walk. After clearing some of the trees by playing basketball with the apples (Jack held the hoop and I shot the apples, only hitting him in the face once or twice). Mrs. Smith told us that they only needed 12 baskets today, so 12 we gave them. We Spotted AJ in the barn setting up for a party or something. Jack and I went to see what was up. Turns out, today was Pinkie's birthday and everyone was trying to keep it a surprise. Hah! That's gonna be a challenge. The girls were there discussing on how to keep everyone distracted. Twilight came up with an idea, and that was to avoid Pinkie at all costs to maintain the surprise. This will NOT work out very well, but I don't have a better idea right now. We all went our separate ways, Jack and I doing the rest of the list. When we finished, Pinkie appeared right in front of us, and she didn't look too happy.

"Sup Pinks?"

"WHY CAN'T YOU COME TO MY PARTY?!?"

"Uh, what party?"

"Gummy's after birthday party! You know! And yes! It's 'this afternoon' afternoon!"

Hm.. that's when the surprise birthday for Pinkie is supposed to be happening. I then got an idea.

"Sorry, Pinks. I won't be able to make it until then. How about postponing it until this evening?"

"I guess I could wait a little longer for the party as long as you show up. Okie dokie loki then!" She said, hopping off like Le Pew.

I turned to Jack. "New plan. I'll hang with Pinkie and keep her distracted while you tell the girls about the change of plans. You come get me when they're ready."

"Got it." Jack said. He dashed straight for the barn. I on the other hand, went to catch up to Pinkie. By the time I saw her again, she was at Sugarcube Corner already. Man, she's fast... I went in after her, waved to Mrs. Cake, and headed upstairs to her room. I could hear her talking to herself.

"Something strange is definitely going on around here, Gummy. Sure, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had to house-sit for that vacationing bear, but what are the chances all my other friends would have plans this afternoon too?"

....Whaaa? She bought that?!?

"Rarity has to wash her hair? Applejack has to pick apples? Twilight is behind on her studies and has to hit the books? Jack and Xavier are working today?!"

Twilight's possible, but AJ hadn't been picking apples for a while, and Rarity's... how long does it take for mares to wash their manes?

"The more I think about it, the more those are starting to sound like... excuses!!!" Yeah, Pinkie, you're finally catching on, but unfortunately for you, I have a surprise to help keep.

"Hey Pinks! Second thought, Jack said you and I could hang out. He said he didn't mind doing the work since he owes me one."

Pinkie turned around and stared suspiciously. Behind her, out the window, I could see Twilight sneaking around coming our direction. Not good!

"Besides, one thing I notice, I feel like we don't hang out enough." I said, trying to keep her attention.

"You're right! We don't! I'll go get the punch ready!" She said, zipping towards the door.

"NO WAIT!!!" I yelled, stopping her in her tracks. Gotta think! Gotta think!

"What is it, Xavi?"

"Uh, how about we just chill for a bit. We could have a chill party. Just relax."

"Why do that when we have lots of fun games to play?" Think, Xavier, think!

"Uh, we did all that stuff yesterday. Besides, you've never really 'chilled' with a human before."

"You're right! Let's do that then!" She trotted beside me and sat on her haunches. "So what do we do?"

Cmon Xavier, you can do this. You're doing good so far! "We just chill." I said, lying on my back on the floor.

Pinkie did the same, but started shifting after a while. "This is boring! I wanna play some party games!" This chick definitely has ADHD

"PInkie, just relax. Here. Let me help." I started scratching behind her ears, the weakness of all ponies.

"Oooooooh!" She closed her eyes and started thumping one of her hind hooves like a dog/rabbit. She moved onto my lap as I kept scratching.

Good. I have her right where I want her. All I need to do is keep her here until Jack gets here.

It was about an hour of ear scratching and relaxing until I noticed Pinkie's hair was completely deflated. She was looking right at me with a sad expression on her face. Uh oh.

"Xavi?"

"Yes Pinks? What's the matter?"

"Where are the others?"

"I don't know. Why ask?"

"I know you've been keeping me here so others won't come to Gummy's after-birthday party. I'm not a dummy. If they didn't want to be my friends anymore, why don't they just say so?" Her eyes were starting to get watery.

"Pinkie, they're good friends. Trust me on this one."

"Well why don't you just go and join them in avoiding me then?! I don't need you! I can find new friends!" Woah! Where the hell did THAT come from?

"Pinkie, calm down. No one's stabbing you in the back." There's a lit fuse that needs to be defused. One way to dissolve a situation like this: reason. "If anyone should know anything about backstabbers, it's me. I wouldn't do that to you, and I doubt your friends would either. Try thinking positive. Maybe they aren't coming to your party because they're tired or exhausted from yesterday's party and need some balance between fun and work. That's how things are at home anyway."

"Why wouldn't they just tell me?"

"It could be because they want your parties to be special. Your parties won't be special if you throw them all the time. It's probably something they don't want to get tired of."

"That's just silly! Nopony ever gets tired of a Pinkie Party."

"Pinkie, what would happen if you ate your favorite dish all the time"

"Cupcakes.."

"If you ate those same cupcakes, just those cupcakes, for three meals a day for a long time, I can tell you, they will not be your favorite for long. That's why special events should be held on special occasions. Otherwise they won't be so special for long."

"I think I understand." Pinkie's hair started inflating again.

"Good." I stroked her mane. However, when I did, something clamped down on my hand. I quickly pulled it out of Pinkie's mane.

Gummy... "Hehe! I think he likes you!"

"I like him too, when I'm not in his mouth. Don't want that to be a habit when he grows his teeth...."

Pinkie giggled. Just then, Jack came in. I didn't like the look on his face when he saw her on my lap, and me scratching behind her ears. Alone. In her room.

"Hiya Jacky!"

"Oh look what we have here! A little cuddle fest." This made Pinkie blush a little.

"Jack... Don't you even."

"Gee, Xavier, one would think two would be enough. I guess I'll ship it."

"Hehehe, it's not like that silly! We were just chilling out." She said, her blush still visible.

"Anyway, I'm gonna need both of your help for a moment." Jack said, pointing to us two.

"Sure.." I responded.

We all headed to the barn. Pinkie was on my back. It was a good walk, although at some point and time, Pinkie started holding on tighter, fueling Jack's inner troll's hunger. I could see that lookin his face. Say one word, Mr. Williams, and you will meet your end by my imaginary blade. He didn't say anything though. He just looked at me with his 'card crusher' face. When we got there, Jack told us to wait outside.

"Why? Why're we at the barn?"

"Jack and AJ need our help with something."

Jack cracked the door and motioned for us to come in.

"SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKIE!!"

Jack took a picture of the look on Pinkie's face. It looked like the top half of her head was going to come off. She pulled everyone, me included into a group hug. I had to hold my breath and close my eyes, being claustrophobic and all. There were so many 'thank you's coming from her mouth. Sure she apologized for doubting everyone, but it was all good. The party was on way, everyone was doing their own thing (meaning I wasn't paying much attention). I was pulled out of my little trance when I noticed Twilight talking aloud while writing something.

"Hey Sparks."

She put down her quill and giggled. "Sparks? That's a new one."

"Whatcha doin?" I asked, looking over her shoulder.

"I'm writing a friendship report letter to the princess." Twilight said.

"Why?"

"Well, it's part of my mission here to make some friends and write reports to her on anything I learn."

"...Why?" I repeated.

"Don't ask me. Ask the princess." She continued writing again.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Can I add something?"

She looked at me as if I was up to something. "Uh, sure. What do you wanna add?"

"Tell her that Stiffley Erecticus said hey." I said with a huge grin.

"Who?" Seems like the joke went right over her head.

"-snicker- Just do it." She did, and as soon as she got Spike to send it, I burst out laughing. She just rolled her eyes and went back to the party. Since everyone was there and partying, I knew it was going to be a fun night.

Author's Note

That's Chapter 20. This chapter was a bit short. Didn't really know where else to take this chapter at the time. I kinda feel bad because it felt like I kinda just gathered shit together and threw it at you guys. No worries though. A lot of work will go into the last two chapters (or it may end up being one big chapter).

AT AT AT AT

THE THE THE THE

GALA GALA GALA GALA!!!

Anyway, hit the thumbs up button if you liked it and leave a comment on what you thought of this surprisingly short chapter.

Next Chapter: Fuckin' Shit Up at the Grand Gallopin' Gala!

S2 Chapter 1: Tay Zonday would Sue

Season 2

Chapter 1: Tay Zonday would Sue

-Xavier's Recap-

Things have been more calm around here ever since the night at the Gala. Well, that's besides ponies wanting to ride in bro's car. I'm pretty sure he's been in his room regretting having ever broken out the DJ Shades Mobile. I can understand why he doesn't want to break it out except for special occasions, mainly because gas stations doesn't exist here yet, and he's probably low on it since the drive to and from Canterlot. To this day, however. the girls still talk about that magical night. The night when they first rode in the car. The night my hatred for Rarity truly ended. The night after the day I kicked Twilight's brother in the face. She still loves me, but she throws something at me every time I bring it up. I guess they're close. Can't wait 'til the day he finds out about us. I wanna bring my phone

The summer was a pretty nice for the most part. The jobs we've gotten were well balanced out and done so that we had more time to relax in the sun. Another positive about summers in Equestria: NO MOSQUITOES! God I hated those flying leeches to no end! And to think I'd never have to see one ever again in real life! Fluttershy berated me for being inconsiderate of mosquitoes feelings, but when I told her that they were one of the top 10 dangerous creatures on the planets with all the diseases they help spread by sucking blood and any bacteria from random beings and putting them in another random being, she shut up real quick. Another positive was that there weren't too many hot days, and when there were, Rainbow was more than happy to give me a cloud to hover over my head. I love that mare. Even Jeff was starting to get along with the ponies. I guess they found out that he loves having his manly ego stroked. The Crusaders (Gang) had even had their fair share of fun. I had introduced them to a few outside games. One time, Jeff, Jack and I took them camping in the Whitetail Forest along with Hiroto and his two fillies. Diamond Tiara's father and Silver Spoon's guardian allowed it, the former behind her mother's back. I gotta say, I had misjudged Filthy Rich. I expected him to be kinda like a ruthless business man, but he's totally cool compared to his wife. He did however tell me that sometimes, in a business environment, he needs to be ruthless or others will probably take advantage of him or something. I can't find myself running a big business, ever.

The reason I say the summer was good for the most part is because of the girls' 'heat cycle' after Bri's birthday. Holy shit, in this world, estrus is no joke. If they didn't have a heat cycle in the spring, they had one in the summer. I'm glad Twilight warned me about it. Jeff, Jack and I ended up boarding up our windows so the pegasi wouldn't be able to get through. It didn't stop Rainbow from knocking on the boards covering the window saying things I dare not repeat. That wasn't even the most messed up thing though. The next day, this random earth pony stallion knocked on our doors and asked if human girls had estrus cycles. When I saw him looking at Brianna, my now 8 year old sister, I punched that mofo in the face and told him to get the fuck off my lawn with that shit. I knew I was gonna have to keep an eye on that one. Twilight managed to teleport in though. She had taken pills to 'minor' the estrus effect, but she still sounded lustrous. Fortunately, making out seemed to satisfy her. I thought Jack would be out there screaming for Applejack to take him, but he told her that wouldn't be a good idea since when they did it before, she ended up out of commission for weeks, leaving Big Mac to do all of the work for days. Either way, we were all safe. I love Rainbow and all, but I wouldn't want her like this.

Rarity and I started hanging out together. And by hanging out, I mean hanging out in my house. I never really liked her little Merry-Go-Round. Gotta say, there was more to her than I saw. She wasn't just posh and fancy, but unlike most of the upper class and nobility in Canterlot, she's pretty caring and chilled when she's not working. Sure she's tried several times to turn me into a gentleman, like say, having me open doors for her. I told her a bit about why I'm not a gentleman. I'm an egalitarian. She wondered what that meant, and I gave her the google definition. That means we're equal. The only females I treat special are those I share a bed with sometimes, and frankly, Rainbow hates it and Twilight finds it kind but awkward. There haven't been any majors between me and Rarity. She still insists on calling me her prince since the Gala.

Speaking of Twilight, I've been trying to get her to hang out with me more, but she kept saying she was busy with her studies, she would hardly leave the library. The only time we ever really did anything together was when I had the time to go to the library. I even tried getting Pinkie's help to bring her out of her little cave, but so far we've had no luck in doing so. I've tried everything, from poking her horn, slapping her flank, to randomly 'Doing the Flop' on top of her. Whenever I did, she'd just magic me off of her and keep reading. I guess she needed her space after her estrus cycle, so I stopped bothering her. I figured that out all by myself. Okay, maybe I didn't. Maybe bro kinda put the thought in my head. I guess Twilight tattled on me.

Speaking of bro, he's been pretty active this summer. He's been spending more time with musicians I've noticed. Especially around one white electric-blue maned DJ mare and her room mate. I forgot her name though. Why am I not jumping to conclusions? Because bro is.... you know, he's bro. He's probably the most normal out of all of us and wouldn't think of dating a pony himself, let alone starting a herd. But hey, that's just me.

-Xavier's Recap Over-

-Traevon's POV-

[Friday 8/12]

I woke up in Vinyl's room. It was one heck of a night we had last night, staying up and working our magic with the turntables. We've started a relationship last month, and I think Octavia's interested in joining in, but I'm not too sure. Sure they have different taste in music, but I found a way to mix up both of their styles of music: Orchestra Remixes. We've already started making an album together. The ponies love it. Octavia says it puts a bit of class in Vinyl's parties. Anyway, I checked the time. It was early, and I'm pretty sure lil bro's still asleep. Brianna should be waking up in a half an hour to head for school, and I need to make sure she's ready before she leaves. I put my clothes on, gave Vinyl a peck and left. My house awaits.

After a ten minute walk, I made it there. I open the door to find that Xavier is surprisingly awake for once.

"Xavier. You're awake."

"Trae, you're home. Where've you been?"

"Vinyl and I were just working on music. We got so caught up that we lost track of time. I ended up spending a night on her couch." I lied. I don't want him to find out about me and Vinyl yet. Otherwise, I'd never hear the end of it.

"Well, Brianna and the kids are going on a field trip to Canterlot today. I had already warned them about the guards and nobles there. I told her that if anyone gives them any flack, catch their names and I'll pay 'em a visit."

I agree with him. Although I trust the princess, I don't really trust the guards or the nobles there after our little brawl earlier this year before the Gala. I just give him a thumbs up and went to check our list to find that we only have 2 things written down for us to do. Jack already has one. Jeff has the other. I guess I'll go back to sleep.

-Hiroto's POV-

"Alright class. Remember to stick together and stay with me. We don't need any of you fillies and colts getting lost." Miss Cheerilee instructed. We were just getting off of the train from Ponyville. I doubt we were going to have any issues with fillies getting lost. The class wasn't that big. She had around 11 students to look over. I can look after myself and my little brother along with Brianna, so make that 8. As we got off the train, however, that out of the 11 of us, three of us drew the most attention. The ponies here seemed wary of us. Jonathan was unaware while trying to talk to the Crusaders. Diamond Tiara stayed close to my side, glaring back at anyone who looked at me funny. Miss Cheerilee noticed this and looked to me and the other two humans.

"Hiroto, Jonathan, Briana, can you stay close behind me please?" She didn't feel right about the attention we were getting. Xavier warned us about this place and the kind of people that inhabits this city.

"More monstrous abominations..."

"These ones are smaller..."

"How can that one see with its eyes closed?"

Cheerilee's ears folded back. I think she's starting to regret this trip. We were headed to the palace to take a little tour around the castle. When we reached the palace, we were stopped by the guards.

"I take it you are the teacher who's taking her class through the castle?" One of the two guards asked.

"Yes. I'm Miss Cheerilee." She answered.

The guard looked over to me, my sibling and his friend. "Are those three with you?"

Our teacher took a deep breath. She had not been enjoying how some of the other ponies were looking at us, and she seemed to be really holding back several unpleasant words. "They are my students too, so yes. They are with me as well."

The guards let us through, though keeping their eyes on us. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stuck their tongues out at the guards when we passed them. "The nerve of these ponies! They act like you're a dangerous monster."

"They fear the unknown, DT." I told her, readjusting my glasses. We didn't see too many guards or ponies in general while we were heading to the gardens. There was this one guard we passed that was wearing purple armor. He was mainly looking at Brianna, who noticed, smiled, and waved at him. He snapped out of it and gave her a sheepish grin and a small wave in return. Isn't that the purple armored guard Xavier told me about? Soon enough, we were there. There were shrubs hedges and statues everywhere.

"I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot sculpture garden." Miss Cheerilee started. "That one over there represents Friendship." she said as we passed a statue of what looked like three ponies dancing on top of one another. The three pony crusaders bumped into each other in a clumsy manner. That didn't really catch my attention however. What caught my attention were the guards that were not-so-stealthily following us. There were three or four of them. I didn't take the time to count. Cheerilee had stopped at a strange statue. "Now this is a really interesting statue. What do you notice about it?"

"Its got an eagle claw!"

"And a lion paw!"

"And a snake tail!"

"It's skinny!" Said Jonathan

Brianna replied afterwards. "It's tall."

"It looks like he belongs in the 'build-able action figures' isle." I said. I am still Jack's brother. This earned a few chuckles.

"This creature is called a draconequus. He has the head of a pony and a body made up of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that represents?"

"Something that I'm sure Charles Darwin would like to see in person." This got me a few looks.

"Who?" Cheerilee asked.

"He was a famous human biologist, geologist, and naturalist." I told her.

Cheerilee gave me an irritated look. "Do you want to stay here for the rest of the field trip to tell the class all about this Charles Darwin?" I could see where she was getting at.

"No ma'am."

"Then please stop giving off-topic answers to the questions."

"My apologies."

"Does anyone else have an answer?" She asked as the three crusading fillies were the first to answer.

"Confusion!"

"Evil!" Sweetie Belle answered, knocking Apple Bloom out of the way, only to be knocked herself by Scootaloo.

"Chaos!"

"It's not chaos you dodo!" Sweetie said, fussing at Scootaloo.

"Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of!" Scootaloo cried. "And it is too, chaos!"

"Is not!" Argued Sweetie Belle

"You're both wrong!" Apple Bloom said, leaping on both of her friends. Jonathan, Brianna and I tried to break up the fight by grabbing each of them. I had Apple Bloom while Jonathan and Brianna had the other two. The three fillies were trying to go back at each other's throats. Things escalated very quickly however when the guards that were stalking the class had spears pointed at our necks, and by our necks, I mean at the necks of anyone that wasn't a pony. I thought Xavier said that the guards weren't going to attack us!

"Let go of the fillies you beasts!" The guards commanded. Miss Cheerilee stood there in shock as we all did as told. I let go of Apple Bloom, Brianna let go of Sweetie Belle and started to tear up. Jonathan, still with no sense of danger what-so-ever, let go of Scootaloo, if anything because an adult told him to. He turned around and stuck his tongue out at the guard that had a spear to the boy's face. The guard pulled his spear back, but before Jonathan was impaled, Miss Cheerilee rammed the guard knocking him off balance.

"Just what in the name of Tartarus do you think you are doing?!"

"Ma'am, step aside! These monsters are dangerous! We saw them grab those fillies!"

"I'm not a monster..." Brianna started to cry, which drew even more attention to the area. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had looks of regret on their faces having gotten their friends in trouble. I closed my eyes to repress my anger. I never learned how to fight, so I knew I couldn't afford to do anything brash.

"These are children! You are aiming your weapons at my students! I have half the mind to-"

As Cheerilee proceeded to scold the guards for pointing their weapons at three helpless kids, I couldn't help but notice something about that draconequus statue when I opened my eyes. I was pretty sure there weren't any cracks there when we first looked at it. I had tapped on my teacher's shoulder to ask her if statues here were supposed to crack, but she was occupied.

"Not now, Hiroto." She went back to scolding the guards who continued to argue and demonize us, which was making Brianna cry even louder.

A few minutes later, the purple armored stallion trotted up to the commotion. "What's going on here?"

"Captain Armor!" Both guards gave a salute. "We were just taking care of a situation!"

"These idiots were aiming their spears at my students!"

"We were trying to break up a fight!" Jonathan screamed at the guard that almost impaled him.

"Sargent Rocky! You leave the humans alone! Didn't you hear Celestia's orders months ago! We are not to harm any of the humans until we get the word from her! I aughta report you for this and have you scrubbing the floors!"

"We're sorry sir. We didn't get the memo."

Brianna ran from the guard that threatened her and hid behind Shining. "I-I'm gonna tell my big brother on you!"

I noticed Shining freeze at who she had just mentioned. Wait a minute... "Shining Armor? Are you the one that Xavier had... kicked in the face?" Shining's eyes went wide at my question.

Brianna gasped and her cheeks puffed out. "Xavier did what?!?" Shining was looking at the now angry Brianna. "I'm gonna get him for this!"

Shining chuckled. "Don't worry, little filly. It didn't hurt that bad."

While everyone was more calm, Cheerilee was still glaring at the other four. "I think we should move on, class." The group started moving again with Shining Armor joining us to avoid something like that from happening again. Something was slightly disturbing however. Either my ears were playing tricks on me, or there really was evil laughter coming from behind us, from that statue.

-Xavier's POV-

I started to wake up from my nap 30 minutes til noon. I love just hanging around and chilling like a lazy slob for the day, but I was actually starting to get bored. I haven't really been doing much the past few days. Soon the door slammed open with Jack stumbling through.

"Xavier! Bro! You gotta see this!"

I got up and followed him outside. There were pink clouds everywhere. Not only that but it was raining chocolate milk. I'm so glad I'm not lactose intolerant. Another reason to love magic. free sweet chocolate milk. Jack and I got buckets that filled 4 gallons and countless water bottles that we instantly stored in the fridge as soon as they were full. I went ahead and poured me a cup from a gallon and drank it. This wasn't just chocolate milk. This was chocolate drink!

Oh... hell yes!!!q

"Yoohoo!"

Jack raised an eyebrow at me. "Geez... Calm down. It's just chocolate milk."

"No! It's not! YOOHOO!"

"What're you talkin about dude?"

"Friggin Yoohoo!"

"Wait! Like that chocolate drink?!?" I wildly nodded my head. "OH MAH GAWDS!!!"

We set a table outside, covered with a plastic cover of course, and placed a few buckets there. I grabbed my cup when he went to grab one two. We got out a beach umbrella and our seats and had ourselves a two-man Oktoberfest. Whenever we were done, we dumped our cup in our buckets for refills. And the best part is, the panicking ponies! They'll panic at anything unknown or out of the ordinary! I was glad that the table was well enough out of the way.

"Can this day get any better?" I asked, sitting in my chair.

"Hahahah yeah. We need the chicks, dude."

Yeah, we didn't really pay much attention to the floating buildings that were no longer rooted to the ground. Our house was perfectly fine, and considering random bullshit has been happening because magic exists in this world, we kinda figured:

"I guess someone misused a spell." Jack guessed.

"Yeah. I guess."

"Problem caused by magic is usually solved by magic." He said.

"Well well well, what do we have here. Amidst the chaos, a couple of strange beings are lounging around enjoying my work." A new voice echoed around us. This voice sounded familiar.

"Is that you, Q?" I asked.

"If by 'Q' you mean Discord, God of Chaos and Disharmony, then you are correct!" The voice said as a figure appeared front of us in smoke. I couldn't and I still can't even begin to describe what this guy looked like...

"HOLY hell! What the hell are you?!" I asked. Like, what the hell?!

"Heheh! Seriously! It's like God got drunk and decided to have a little fun!" Jack said. I couldn't help but laugh. Discord just raised an eyebrow.

"Wait wait wait. You said we're enjoying your work? You did this? With the pink clouds and chocolate rain?" I asked.

"The Dr. Pepper Snapple group is gonna sue, dude!" Jack warned.

Discord gave Jack a confused look. "Yes, that is of my doing."

"Tay Zonday is gonna sue, dude." Jack laughed.

"And just who is this Tay Zonday?" Discord asked.

"It's a human thing. Say, have you seen a Purple unicorn and a rainbow-maned pegasus around here?"

"And an orange cow-filly? We were hopin' they'd join us. Oh, and I'm sure Pinkie would enjoy this too."

"Oh? Oh so you're the humans that are close to the elements? Oh, they were just heading back from Canterlot after playing a little game I set up for them." He said, a bit mischievously. "In fact, I think I'm going to go check on them right now."

"WAIT! Uh, Discord was it?"

"Yes?"

I went back to my front door and took the job list from by the front door and wrote something on the back of it. I handed it to Discord. "Can you say this?"

He read it quietly. "Why would I bother saying this?"

"C'mon. Just humor me."

"Oh, fine. Anything for a fan." He looked at the paper. "'I gave you something most mortals never experience. A second chance at life. All you can do is complain?' What is this?" He asked, curious.

"I can't live out my days as that person." I answered in my best angry Patrick Stewart voice. "That man is bereft of passion and imagination! That is not who I am!" I turned to Jack, grinning.

Jack shook his head at me and laughed. "Hahaha, you fuckin' nerd."

After he tried to comprehend what just went on, Discord disappeared in smoke like when he first appeared. Just when he did though, the sun went down. When the sun came back up, the ponies were sliding. I noticed the pathways changed from the usual sand color to light blue, not to mention bubbles on the side. Soap.

I looked at Jack and he was looking at me with a grin. "Still got those sleds in the attic?"

I found myself grinning the same way. "Hell yeah..." Some people would ask how Jack and I aren't brothers.

To say Jack and I were having fun would be an understatement. We were lying down on our sleds while zipping at high speeds. Sure we had to slow down whenever it instantly got dark again, but when it lit up, we were able to see the ponies looking at us, wondering how we could be having fun in this chaotic event. The kids had other opinions when they saw us and even wanted to join in. Too bad the parents were worry warts and kept them from having any of it. We had pretty much rode all around town.

"Race ya to the library!" Jack said before speeding ahead.

"Oh no you don't!" I said before going after him.

We were pretty much sliding like penguins, screaming and yelling like a couple of crazed lunatics. It's been ages since I've had this much fun to be honest. Laser tag and go-karting being the very last actual fun thing on Earth that had nothing to do with video games. We just hit a hill.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"HOOLYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!"

And then it got dark again. I couldn't see. The worst part is, this happened in mid air and I couldn't feel my sled beneath me, so I knew I was going to wipe out. Especially when things lit up again and I found my sled was ahead of me beyond my reach.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!"

Jack wasn't faring any better. Jack and I ended up crashing into the library, creating a giant hole, or so I thought we created it. Either way, All I felt that moment was pain from that wipe out.

"OH GAWDS!!!" I said, getting up carefully. I checked myself for any broken bones. "Ah geez! I think I sprained somethin!" Adrenalin can make you do crazy shit.

"Xavier! Jack! Are you two okay?" Twilight cried, galloping to our aid. "Sweet Celestia, Discord has gone too far! Now he's hurting you guys too?!"

"What? Naaaw! We were just havin a lil fun that's all. We just had one of the most epic wipe outs we've had in ages!" Jack said before we high fived each other.

"Sorry about the wall, babe."

"Don't worry about that. That was already there. Wait... How can you two be having fun when Ponyville is in so much of a mess?!" Oh boy. You're sounding hysterical again, Twi.

"Well, we just figured we'd make the most of things, ya know? Got the chocolate drink rain, good road for sleddin'."

"Yeah, we got tired of chillin'. I was completely chilled. I looked around at the other girls. Something was off with them though. Rarity was fawning over a rock, Pinkie was angry at Fluttershy for laughing at her. Applejack was sitting next to the rock. Someone was missing, however.
"Two questions. Where is Rainbow Dash and why does the rest of 'em look like they've been through the washing machine one too many times?

"Guuuugh! I'm Sorry you have to see this. They haven't themselves ever since Discord got to them. We've got to find the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony before somepony does something she'll regret!"

"The Elements of Harmony? I know exactly where that book is!" Spike said, going where it was, but Fluttershy got to it before he did.

"Fluttershy! You have to give me that book!"

"Keep away!!" Fluttershy called out, throwing the book towards Applejack. That's not nice.

"Hey! Applejack, give me that book!"

"Ah don't have any book." She said before throwing it to Pinkie. This got Jack's attention. While they were playing Monkey in the Middle with Twilight being the monkey, I took a look at what was really going on. Fluttershy was acting like a middle school bully, Applejack was lying, Pinkie had a constant attitude, and Rarity had a big ass rock that she was trying to keep from everyone else. The ponies were definitely acting like their opposites. As soon as Fluttershy got the book again, I threw a couch cushion at her, forcing her to drop it.

"Hey!"

Twilight caught the book. "Thanks Xavier."

"No problem. Although you could've just magic'd the book in mid air. Now come over here so we can read that book."

Twilight galloped towards me. The other four started to slowly approach us. I looked at Jack for help and he nodded his head.

"Hey Rarity! Nice Rock! I think I'm gonna take it!" Jack said out loud.

This got her attention. Rarity zipped back to her huge ugly rock. "MINE!"

Twilight opened the book. I expected words on a book, but Twilight found just what she was looking for. "The Elements! They were here all along!"

Spike held the book. "This is great! Now you guys can defeat Discord and put everything back to normal!"

"See girls?! We did it! We found the Elements of Harmony together!"

The others were just sitting there, hanging around Rarity's rock.

"You don't even care, do you?"

"No." The girls responded.

"Woah woah woah hold up! Hold up! Hold up! That's three 'hold up's!" Jack stood up and walked to the girls. "What the hell is wrong with you girls?!"

"Yeah! She was doing this for all of you! Sure, I don't know what the heck she's doing, but she's clearly doing it for all of you."

"Don't care." The girls responded in unison.

"I never thought my friends would turn into complete JERKS!!!" Twilight magic'd the jewelry onto the others necks. She had one extra though.

"Hey uh, Twilight, you have an extra necklace there."

"Oh. Right." She said, magicking the necklace around my neck. "Congratulations Xavier. You're the new Rainbow Dash."

"What?" Jack and I said.

"Now let's go defeat Discord so we don't EVER have to talk to each other again." Twilight marched out the door.

"Uh, Twilight?!" I tried to get her attention.

Rarity was hanging behind trying to move her rock. Twilight magicked it out the doorway. "Look out! Here comes Tom!"

"Twilight, I don't think this is going to work!" I told her. She didn't listen. Goddammit!

Discord was standing right there, looking smugly at us. "Well, if it isn't one of the creatures that I thought appreciated what I was doing, trying to defeat me. And here I thought I had a fan."

"Sup Discord?" Jack said from behind me.

"Don't take it seriously. My girl needed my help to beat you in your game, and I guess since one of the players aren't here, I'm the poorly chosen substitute. You know how it is with women, right?" I said, chuckling.

"What's so funny!!" Pinkie said, getting in my face.

"Discord! I've figured out your lame riddle. You're in for it now!"

"I certainly am. You've clearly out-dueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate. I'm prepared to be defeated now. Fire when ready." He said, forming a target around his midsection.

"But uh... I can't do magic.."

"Formations now!!"

"Okay, but I'm telling you I can't do magic."

The girls started glowing and floating as most of the elements started working their magic. Well, like I said, most. I was just standing there. Because the one I had didn't work, everyone else's failed and they dropped to the ground.

"What's going on?!"

"I don't know, maybe it's because I cannot do magic stuff!"

"Mine's workin'. Must be somethin wrong with yours."

"I hate the elements of harmony!"

"Bravo, ponies, bravo! Harmony in Equestria is officially dead. Discord rules, Celestia drools." He stated, laughing victorious. While the girls were arguing with each other, Discord popped up beside me. "Isn't this perfect?"

I turned to him, resisting the urge to punch him in the face. "Perfect? Chocolate rain? Cool. Soapy roads? Fun. Ruining my fillyfriends' valuable friendships with their friends? Fucked up. Now fix this or get the hell out my face."

"I think I like things better this way." Thought you were cool, man.

I turned to Twilight who was walking back into her library, losing her color. By the time I was inside, she was already upstairs. "Pack your bags, Spike. We're leaving." Wait.. What? "Don't ask where we're going, because I don't know yet. Just not here"

"Huh? You're just gonna leave?"

She came back downstairs and stopped infront of me. This has got to be the first time I saw her cry in like, ever. She wore the look of depression. That...DICK!!! He really is responsible for this! "I'm sorry Xavier, but it's just too much for me. I just can't stay here."

"I'll come with you then. I mean it's not like I do much around here anyway, and Dash, wherever she is, can just fly to where we are."

"Rainbow Dash abandoned me too! And as much as I'd like that, you need to stick with your family and friends here." She looked down and turned to go back upstairs. "I guess this is goodbye."

I closed my eyes. "So that's it? Not even a hug or anything?"

Her hoofsteps stopped. It was quiet for a moment until her hoofsteps were coming close. I felt her forelegs wrap around me. When I opened my eyes, she was hugging me like a toy she didn't want to let go, looking at me with those usually violet but now colorless eyes. Tears were streaming down her face. I could tell she really didn't want to leave. "I'm sorry! I d-don't want to leave! I-I just don't know what else to do! My friends are gone, Ponyville is in utter chaos, what am I supposed to do, Xavier?!" She asked. I started hearing noises coming from upstairs.

-belch-

"Hey hey.. I thought you were the magical smart one. I don't really know what to do about floating buildings, soapy roads and the delicious chocolate rain, but uh, giving up shouldn't be an option you'd pick so quickly."

-belch-

"I'm all out of other options."

-belch-

"No, you're really not. Just because your friends seem to forget who they are, doesn't mean that all is lost. It just means that you're the last mare standing. As long as you're still standing, there is hope. There is a way. That's what I believe anyway. I don't know what you're gonna do or how you're gonna do it, but I believe in you, Twi." Her color started returning. "Now please, go upstairs and see what that racket is." I said, looking up. "Try to have a heartwarming moment of encouragement with that noise is kinda hard to do."

Twilight nodded her head, smiling. Her color had returned. I went outside where Jack was.

"The asshole left. He's not around." He told me.

"Yeah. He's the reason for the girls' strange behaviors."

"That DICK!!!"

"I know, right?!"

Shortly after, Twilight came back out with a fire lit in her eyes that screamed determination.

"Well, someone's in a better mo-" I didn't even finish before she kissed me. It was a pretty passionate one too.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For helping me find the answer to all of my problems."

"You're gonna have to explain that one to me."

"I'll tell you on the way. We need to get the others." Twilight started to gallop off but apparently she forgot that the streets were still made out of soap. She slipped and fell right on her chin.

"We uh, have sleds."

"Are you sure you want to use those again? Even after that crash?"

Jack slapped me on the back. "We're boys, Twi. We get hurt doin' shit like this all the time."

I just shrugged my shoulders.

"If you're okay with this, then let's go."

Jack and I got our sleds and started sledding like penguins again with Twilight lying on my back, holding on tight. I don't think she was used to traveling this fast. We were following behind Jack.

"Hey Twi! Can you tell me what you meant when I said I gave you the answer to your problems?"

"It's just like you said! My friends forgot who they really are! And thanks to the Princess, I know just how to remind them!" Our first stop was at Sweet Apple Acres. We stopped by the sign. "Wait here."

"Yes ma'am." And wait we did.

"So uh... think you're gonna get laid after this?"

"Christ sake, Jack!" I said, going upside his head.

He rubbed the back of his head. "I'm just messin with ya dude."

Twilight came back out along with a normal-colored Applejack. She ended up riding with Jack when we went to Fluttershy's cottage. Twi actually needed our help with her. Jack and I caught her by the hooves and tied her up with AJ's rope so Twilight could do her memory spell. The next stop was at Rarity's. Apparently that rock she's been carrying around, dubbed 'Tom', was a giant emerald in her eyes. She saw the truth when we held her down and the spell was used on her. I helped her roll Tom out of her boutique.

"Let us never speak of this again."

We found Pinkie in her room in Sugarcube Corner. Twilight told us that we needed to get her to laugh. She tried telling a joke, but... let's just say she shouldn't quit her day job. I looked at my hands and at Jack. Time to put our fingers to use. Long story short, she was feeling the tickles for a half an hour after we stopped. Next stop, my other girl's house. We sent Fluttershy up there to get her, but she came back empty handed.

"She's not here!"

"Without Rainbow Dash, we can't use the elements.."

"She could be anywhere by now! We're never gonna find her."

"Yeah we will! 'cause she's right there!" Pinkie said, pointing up to a cloud with a faded rainbow tail hanging from it.

I called up to her. "Hey Dash! What's up? Come down here. Just wanna hang out."

"Hey Xavier." She replied, waving a hoof.

"Rainbow Dash! We've been looking all over for you!"

"That's nice."

"Discord is still on the loose and we need you to help us defeat him with your element, loyalty!"

"Loyalty schmoyalty! Have you guys seen Ponyville? It's a disaster! I'm staying here in Cloudsdale where everything is awesome!"

Twilight looked at me. I'll give it another go. "Hey Dash. You're right. Ponyville's a lost cause. Why not take me up there to Cloudsdale with ya?"

"WHAT?!?" The girls responded.

"How could you?!?"

"Hah! Now you're talkin my language, monkey boy!" She swooped down with her cloud and gave me her hoof. I jumped up and grabbed her wings instead and pulled her in a huge bearhug, landing on the ground. She struggled to get out of my grip. "HEY! Let me go!!!"

"Twilight! Now!"

She shook her head, snapping out of it and did her thing. As soon as Rainbow was restored and back to normal, I let go of her.

"Wh-what happened?" She asked. She jumped off of me. "Ah! How's Ponyville! Where are the elements?! Did we stop Discord?!"

The girls group-hugged her, forgetting that I was under them, being stood on. "GIRLS PLEASE GET OFF OF ME!!!"

Now that the elements are back in the right hooves, it was time to get a little payback. We went to town hall where things were most chaotic, and wouldn't you know, we found him sitting on a throne drinking a glass of chocolate drink.

"Chaos is a wonderful thing." He bragged.

"Yeah, jokes and pranks are funny until you go too far and start messing with people's lives."

"Oh... This again?"

"That's right! You couldn't break apart our friendship for long."

"Oh Applejack, don't lie to me." Said Discord as he started pulling the element bearers by their elements to him. "I'm the one who made you a liar. Will you ever learn?"

Jack, of course, held on to Applejack and Fluttershy while I held on to Rainbow, Rarity, and Pinkie. When we grabbed ahold of them, Discord noticed his magic was being nullified.

"What's this?"

"Yeah, we're kinda magic resistant." Jack idiotically told him.

"JACK!!! DAMNIT!"

"Shit, sorry dude!"

Discord chuckled and disappeared. He reappeared behind me. One of his arms wrapped around my neck while the other wrapped around my stomach area. "If you can nullify my chaos magic, then it looks like I found a suitable shield to nullify the Elements of Harmony's magic too." He pulled me back to his throne.

"Xavier!" The girls and Jack called.

Twilight fired her magic at Discord, but it was pointless. The ones that hit me, did nothing. The ones that hit Discord, barely did any damage. Rainbow Dash tried to fly around and kick him, but that didn't do much either.

"Do you girls really think that will stop me? Unlike you, I have magic protection. None of you can hurt me unless you use the Elements of Harmony against me, but you can't because I have this creature to use as a shield!" Discord proceeded to laugh.

"Girls. Start up the elements."

"But Xavier-"

"Twilight! Just do it!" I have an idea...

She nodded her head and her eyes began to glow along with the rest of them. Discord was still laughing. I looked downwards and noticed his feet. This is for almost costing me a girlfriend. I stomped on his foot, and he yelped and let go of me. I could've ran to the girls, but I wasn't quite done with him yet. This is for holding me hostage! I elbowed him in the gut. When he bent over, clutching the area of impact, I got down low. This is for just being a dick. I brought my fist up and spin-jumped, my fist making contact under his chin. I screamed:

"SHOOORYYUUUUUUKEEEEN!!!"

"UAAAAAARGH!!"

Discord stumbled back onto his throne as the elements shot a rainbow at Discord with me ducking just below the beam. When he shook off from his dizziness, it was far too late. The rainbow had made contact.

"What?! No! NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Discord was turned to stone on the spot. The elements did their work with the rest of the town and turned everything back to normal. It was over. No more grey friends besides Derpy. No more soapy roads or free Yoohoo drink... Atleast we got enough to last a while at home.

"It's over! It's finally over!"

"YEAH!!"

"Now all we have to do is bring this statue back where it belongs."

We had traveled to Canterlot to return the statue to its place in the sculpture garden. Celestia told us to meet her in the throne room to be congratulated. What I didn't expect was for ponies to be lined up on each side of the carpet. Jack and I looked at each other and grinned. Trumpets were playing, and Celestia and Spike were standing by the throne. The 8 of us walked down the center and up to her. Celestia smiled at her student. Applejack grinned. Twi looked at Spike who shyly waved. Celestia started her speech.

"We are gathered here today to honor the heroism of these 8 friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos."

As soon as the crowd started cheering, I did my best Chewbacca roar. This got everyone quiet. Celestia raised an eyebrow at me while everyone but Jack looked at me in concern. Maybe I was too loud?

"NEEERD!!!" Jack said out loud.

When we got back to Ponyville, we were pretty much tired. The chocolate rain was gone, everything was back to normal. The ponies were all back to doing their normal business as if nothing ever happened. The girls and I were on the way to the house for a little party when I noticed that when all of the chocolate rain disappeared, so did the chocolate in the buckets. Jack got on his knees and screamed to the skies above him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

I went inside to check the fridge while Jack weeped on the yard outside. The chocolate drink that we put in the gallons and bottles were still there. Twilight saw and she was flabbergasted.

"How?!?"

"Well, these containers were made from Earth. Anything from Earth resists magic, remember? The elements of harmony couldn't reach it." I poured Jack a cup and went outside to give it to him. He downed that sucker. Pinkie wanted one too. She downed that sucker. I offered some to the other girls.

"No thanks, I think I've had enough chocolate rain today." More for us then.

I made my way to the nearest couch and sat down. Dash joined me.

"Hey Skittles."

"Hey Xavier. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Why uh... How come when I kicked Discord, he didn't feel a thing but when you... did what you did.."

"Shoryuken'ed him."

"Uh, that... when you did that to him, he felt it?"

"He had a godlike magic barrier around him, just basing this off of what he said. And you know how magic affects us."

"Oh.. Yeah, yeah yeah, magic doesn't affect you."

"Speaking of punches, can you get me a bag of ice? My hand's been aching ever since. I've never punched anyone that hard."

I saw her leave the room to do so, but stopped. She started shaking.

"Something wrong, Skittles?"

"D-does that mean... when we first met..." She turned her head. Geez, girl..

"Calm down. I didn't really wanna hurt anyone back then as much as I wanted to hit Discord. And believe me, you can handle my punches. I see how fast you ponies heal."

"It's just that you nearly knocked out the God of Chaos."

"Take his magic away, he's nothing more than a slithery snake with a glass jaw. I'm not nearly as strong as the guy who originally Shoryuken's people."

"And who is he?" Dash asked.

I gave her a smile. "How about we play some Street Fighter II? After you get me the ice of course."

Author's Note

Chapter 1 of season 2 everybody. I changed the ending a little bit because one, I felt that the final standoff between the good guys and Discord should've been a bit more epic than Discord just standing there and taking it.

Anyway, please leave a thumbs up if you liked it and leave a comment on what you liked about it.

Next Chapter: Twilight loses her Chill

S2 Chapter 2: Twilight loses her chill!

S2 Chapter 2: Twilight Loses Her Chill

-Xavier's Recap-

After Discord's defeat, a few things happened. I introduced Rainbow to fighting games. I never really played a lot of fighting games. We only had Tekken, Smash, Street Fighter, and Dead or Alive 5. She had a lot of fun since she didn't really mind the violence. Unlike most inhabitants here, she was cool about it, but when Dash played the latest, she noticed something and asked about it.

"Do human mares teats really move like that?"

All I could do was give her my honest answer. "I wish they all did."

Also, Twilight tried to make more time for me ever since I helped her out. She attempted to take many breaks and days off just to spend time with me. Key words 'tried' and 'attempted'. The girl just couldn't stay away from those books for long. Either that or I was just too busy to do much. We got a couple of dates in, but not much more than that. Spike told me that Twilight started feeling like she was a bad fillyfriend to me, wanting to spend time with me but couldn't stay away from work. I told Spike to tell Twilight not to worry about it. Hey, my parents were the same way. Just because they were away or busy most of the time doesn't mean they didn't love me and my siblings. Thinking optimistic, whenever they did have time to spend with us, it made that time with them that much special for us. I told Twi about it in person and she seemed relieved that I understood. Well, for the most part. She still felt a bit bad about it. I could see it on her face.

Brianna and the Crusaders/Gang started hanging around Fluttershy's often. I still don't feel comfortable with my little sister around that bear, but Fluttershy reassured me (probably for the 112th time) that Harry was a nice bear. I stayed over at Fluttershy's with the kids every once in a while. Her bunny kept his distance from me, looking away when I looked at him. That's right, motherfucker. Don't start no stuff, won't be no stuff.

Pinkie had thrown us a 1 Year anniversary party a couple of weeks ago. I had forgot what day we arrived in this world, but she remembered. We've come a long way since then. At first, my very presence in this town caused chaos, but now, negative reactions are very rare. Sure there are still very few that still aren't okay with us living in the same town, let alone dating their kind, an it didn't help that I was in a herd with Celestia's prized student. Although the dislike and discomfort was very subtly shown to the point where it'd go over most heads, I could still sense it. No big deal, because I couldn't go anywhere else even if I wanted to. They were stuck with me. Why the hell would I be concerned with them anyway? I have friends that love having me around. 95 percent of the town appreciates and respect us! Jeff has made another friend with a certain over-muscular pegasus stallion. Jonathan and Brianna had a group to hang with and so did Hiroto, although, it seems like Silver Spoon has developed a little crush on the guy. I'd make him aware of it, but I wouldn't know much about things like that. Last time I tried to get in a relationship as a teenager, I got burned badly. And Bro? Bro's been... Bro. He's changed the least out of all of us.

Last night, the cutest thing happened. Since Fall is approaching in a month, the weather will start getting cold. Guess what Rarity made for her and the girls. Hoodies! I got the feeling that Rarity was either trying to find solid ground on my good side, or trying to get on my better side. Whichever it was, it was working. When I said they looked cute, I mean it, mainly because I rarely use the term 'cute'. The girls were invited to our house for a little get together and they all wore 'em. It was awesome! Dash said she finally understood why I liked wearing hoodies all the time, and Fluttershy felt the most comfortable in hers. The pegasi even had holes in the back for their wings! Their wings!!! Once again, my respect for Rarity had greatly increased because one thing I'm a fan of are hoodie girls. Hoodie Twilight and Hoodie Rainbow was something I just had to take a picture of. Unfortunately it couldn't last as much as I wanted it to because Twilight, being the workaholic she is, had a busy day tomorrow and couldn't spend the night. At least I got a good kiss from her before she left. It was about that time that I hit the sack anyway, so to bed I went.

-End of Xavier's Recap-

-Xavier's PoV-

(Tuesday, 8/30)

"Eggsyyyyy! Wake up! It's time to start the day!" Pinkie sung out loud after slamming the door open. "No sleeping in I say!"

I groaned, remembering why I should've locked my door last night while also ignoring my new nickname. I shot a look at the bouncing mare. I've explained to Brianna why I hate being woken up like this. I guess I'm going to have to have a sit down chat with Pinkie too.

"It's time to eat your breakfast I made for you today!" She finished singing.

I wasn't going to have any of it this morning or any. "Pinkie... get out of my room.."

"Okaaay!" Pinkie said, hopping out of my room, singing still. Fucking ponies and their instantaneous singing... Why do you think I found High School Musical annoying?

I sat up from my bed and sat there to recollect my thoughts. It's been a while since I was rudely awakened like that. I just hope she doesn't wake up Jeff in that manner. She'd end up going to work with a black eye. After I was done waking up, I slipped on some sweat pants hearing that someone was already using the shower. I went downstairs to see whoever was still here. I looked at my phone to see that it was about 8:56 a.m. Three out of the six ponies were there, that being AJ, Dash, and of course the rude mare that woke me up.

"Mornin' Sugarcube."

"Sleep well?"

"Hey AJ, hey Skittles, and I did until Pinks sang me awake... and not in the good way either." I huffed which caused both of them to giggle.

Pinkie and Hiroto made pancakes and muffins for breakfast. I got a few, and after I ate, I showered after Bri stepped out. When I was finished, I had gone to check the to-do list, which AJ was just finished writing on. She wanted Jack and Bro to help Dash knock down her old barn to build a new one. There was also a request for me to help Twilight with running errands. Isn't that why she has an assistant? I just shrugged it off. I slipped on some jeans and a hoodie and shoes before grabbing my headphones on the way out.

Ah... Teminite. I can listen to them all year and still won't get tired. I strolled through the town, bouncing in my steps to the beat, gaining a lot of stares. I guessed that to them I was bouncing to nothing, so I put the headphones around my neck and turned the speakers outwards so I wouldn't look crazy. Well, as crazy (I still hang with Jack). If I didn't know any better, I could've sworn I saw a few heads bobbing. Didn't really pay much attention to it because I had somewhere to be, but before I started, I decided to stop by Sugarcube Corner. Although I had already eaten, I needed something to get for the picnic and maybe something to snack on to hold me until then.

When I entered the building, Twilight was already there for cupcakes, with Spike holding a ridiculously long list.

"Uh... I only ordered 12."

"Oh, I know dear, but I had an extra." Mrs. Cake told her. "So I thought I'd make it a baker's dozen"

"Oh, that was very thoughtful of you. It's just some of the icing from the extra cupcake is getting all over the one next to it. See?" Twilight said. I snuck a peek over at what she was talking about. I couldn't see the big deal, and neither could she. "It's just that I'm planning on sharing these at a picnic later and I don't want anypony to feel like somepony else is getting more icing."

I reached over her head and plucked the extra cupcake out of the box and ate it. It was quite good. "Mmmm-mmmm."

"Xavier!"

"See that, Miss OCD? Problem solved, just like that." I said, causing Spike to snicker.

"Ugh! Xavier, where were you? You're late!"

"Sorry. Bri was in the shower for a while. Had to wait. Heh."

"Whatever." She said, hovering the box of 12 cupcakes."Hold these and be careful."

"Kay." I held on to the cupcakes as we left the store. "So what do you need me to do since you've hired me for the day? I kinda thought I was gonna be doing something more... you know.. useful."

Twilight looked away for a bit. "Okay, you got me. It's just recently you've been really helpful, and I feel bad that I've been so hooked into my studies."

Not this again... "Look, Twi. It's cool. Don't worry so much about it. I understand you got books to read, since you're kind've Celestia's student. Not only is that your job, but it's your hobby. Most guys back on Earth would love to get paid for doing the things they love."

"Well, you spend a lot more time with Dash-"

"Dash's job is weather control around Ponyville. Unless there's a huge storm scheduled, she doesn't need a lot of time to finish her work, because she's Rainbow Dash. She takes care of things in mere seconds. You, I guess your job is to study everything there is to know about magic, and your thirst for knowledge makes you perfect for your occupation."

"Yeah. I wish you'd actually give studying a try instead of trying to distract me from my studies whenever you come by."

"What can I say? I like buggin ya. And I'm not much of a bookworm. That's more up Hiroto's alley. Wanna piggy back ride?"

She giggled. "No thanks."

"I want one!" Spike said from behind. I sighed, picking up Spike and putting him on my back. "This is awesome! Hey Twilight. Who's the tallest now?"

I caught Twilight rolling her eyes at Spike's question. We made our way back to the Library.

"Alright Shorty. Time to get off." I said. A disappointed groan followed after as Spike was magick'd off of me. I held the door open for Twilight, who I guess still felt a bit awkward having a stallion (albeit of different species and culture background) holding a door open for her. I had completely forgotten about the gender role reversal. I remember one time when this mare told Jeff that he belonged in the kitchen or something like that. When Jeff bitch-slapped that chick, he didn't even get in trouble for it.

Spike was going over the checklist a final time. I had to go pee. I came back out of the bathroom for about a minute later to a commotion coming from Twilight's room.

"Not every other week, not every ten days, every... single... week!"

I stepped in Twilight's room. "Hey uh, what's going on?"

"Twilight hasn't written a friendship report in a week and now she's going bananas over it." Spike answered.

"Yes! I am! Spike! Where's the calendar! What day is it?"

I looked at my phone. "It's Tuesday, Twi. ... Wait... You send friendship reports in every single week?"

"Tuesday?! Oh no no no nononononononono!!!"

"Twilight. You gotta relax..."

"Relax? Relax?!?" She zipped up to me, standing on her hindlegs. "Being late might not matter much to you, but I've never been late!" She said while poking my chest with the tip of her hoof, forgetting how hard her hoof was on my chest. "This is notime to relax! If I don't send a letter to the princess by sundown, I'll be... TARDY!!!"

I looked down at her hooves, which were somehow grabbing on my shirt, then back at her. "Twilight. You need to take deep breaths, like, right now." I placed my hands over her hooves. She seemed to calm down, if not by only a little bit.

She dropped back down to all fours. "I'm sorry, Xavier, it's just that I've never been late with an assignment, ever! And if I'm late, she's going to think that I'm not taking my friendship studies seriously! This is the ruler of all of Equestria we're talking about! The pony who holds my fate in her hooves!"

"First of all, she holds everone's fate in her hooves. She controls the sun. Second of all, aren't you goi-" I was cut off again as Twilight started nervously pacing around the room. Goddammit!

"That's not the point! What if she makes me come back to Canterlot and puts me back in school and makes me prove I've been taking them seriously by giving me a test? What if I don't pass?!"

"Twilight, I think-"

"She's my teacher! Do you know what teachers do to students who don't pass?! They send them back a grade, but she won't just send me back a grade... She'll send me back to magic kindergarten!"

"TWILIGHT! CALM YOUR ASS DOWN!!!" Twilight snapped her attention to me. She never did like it when I raised my voice. We are in a library after all... heheh.. "The princess isn't like that. She's not going to send you to no... magic kindergarten... whatever that is.. You're thinking too much about possible consequences. I mean really.. Do you r-"

"You're right, Xavier! You're so right! Because I'm going to solve a friends problem and get that letter to Princess Celestia before sundown! Either of you got any problems? Troubles? Any major or minor issues for me, a good friend/fillyfriend can solve?" She asked, looking expectantly at us.

While Spike was thinking, I raised my hand. "I have a fillyfriend who keeps cutting me off when I'm trying to give her good and helpful advice!"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin, pondering her thoughts for a bit before saying something. "I think you should talk to her about it. Rainbow can be a bit thickheaded at times, but I'm sure she'll stop if it's bothering you that much." I looked at Spike wearing a scrunched look. He was trying not to laugh. "I need something good to write to the princess, Xavier." I said nothing. Just face-palmed. "Then I'm going to find somepony who has a real issue." She galloped out of her room and out of the library.

"My issue is a real issue..."

"I agree.. This won't end well." Spike said.

"You know, we could always write a letter to the princess." I suggested.

"That's a good idea!"

A half an hour had passed.

"I don't think this is a good idea...." Spike said. I was just grinning.

"-snicker- Send it..."

"Well, alright, but if anything goes wrong, I'm blaming you." He belched green flames that engulfed the letter.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Fair enough. I'm gonna go to the park for a bit. I uh, think the girls are waiting for me." I left the library and started towards the park. When I got there, I saw a flying picnic basket with a couple of balloons. I traced it back to where it came from and found the girls. Surprisingly, Bro was there too along with Jack. "Hey girls, hey guys. Bro, I'm surprised to see you here."

"They don't know much about me besides being your brother and owning a car."

"He seems nice an' all. We just figured we'd get ta know 'im a lil' better."

"It was my idea!"

"Of course it was." I said, deadpanned. "Seems everyone's here but Twilight. Have any of you seen her?"

"I did, but she was acting rather odd when I misplaced my diamond-encrusted purple ribbon earlier today, but when I found it, she seemed rather upset. I hope she's alright." Rarity said.

"Yeah! And she thought I held some grudge against Applejack for some reason when we were knocking down her old shed. She tried to have some therapy session with me. What's up with that?"

Jack's stomach started growling. "Well, if you all don't mind, can we get the grub set up at least so we can eat when Twi gets here?"

Rarity started searching inside of her baskets. "Please tell me I did not forget the plates." As she was searching, Jack reached inside of his bag and took out a wrapped stack of paper plates. "I did. I totally forgot them. Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE!!! WORST!!! POSSIBLE! THING!!!" She screamed before fainting on a couch she pulled from God knows where. Remember... you're her friend now. You and Rarity are now friends. You will have to learn to deal with her unnecessary drama.

"Rarity. Chill. I got plates right here." Jack said, already having passed out the plates during her dramatic episode.

"Oh... heheh.." She said, sheepishly.

"And don't worry Skittles. I'm sure Twi'll be fine and normal when she gets here." I told them. As if the universe wanted to prove me wrong, Twilight came and dropped the box of cupcakes by Dash, wearing a crazy smile. Her mane was all disheveled and her tail was full of nicks and knots. For the first time, Twilight was scaring me.

"You alright, hun?"

"No! I'm not alright! It's just terrible! Simply awful!" The girls seemed to really care, so I jumped to the point.

"She feels like she needs to write a letter to the princess every week and she wants to send one by sunset or she'll be tardy or something. You're really still on about that?"

The girls seemed to have relaxed. "Oh thank goodness. I thought something really awful had happened."

"Something awful has happened! If I don't turn in the letter on time, I'll be tardy!!!"

As I watched Twilight try to get her friends to know the crux of her situation, her friends were giggling and telling Twilight the same thing I've been telling her. She's being silly. However, I had a bad feeling that she really did need help and the girls weren't doing that.

"Oh come on, Twi. Have a seat and stop sweatin' the small stuff."

Twilight had enough, pacing around, groaning before running off and teleporting away.

"Wow... I've never seen Twilight this upset before.."

"What a drama queen." Said the very last mare that should call anyone a drama queen.

As if on impulse, I couldn't help myself. "Shut the fuck up Rarity..."

"I'm with Xavier on this one. You're the last person/pony giving anyone that label." Jack said.

If she held on to the issue this long, I don't think it'll go away on its own. "Guys, I think I'm gonna go check on her. I really think she needs help."

"Well, if ya think its the right thing to do, but its probably Twi bein' all worried over nothin'." AJ said. With that, I had left the park and headed back to the library.

-Brianna's PoV-

Scootaloo just slammed her head on the ground. "This so boring! Why would I want a cutie mark in tic tac toe anyway?"

"Well it was Brianna's idea, and we wanted to do something that wasn't what you suggested." Sweetie Belle said.

"What was wrong with cart riding?!"

"That's something that could get us in trouble, Scootaloo. We can't just snatch someone else's cart and ride it. We could get hurt too."

"That's right. Ya'll humans can be quite fragile." Stated Apple Bloom.

"HEY!!!" Jonathan yelled.

I thought of something. "Can't we just play or something? Do we always have to be thinking up of ideas to get your cutie marks?"

"Yeah. Even we need a break. We have plenty of time to get our cutie marks. But what should we do?"

"I know a game!" Jonathan said, pointing to the beach ball. I went to get it. "There's this game that Jack and his friends used to play in our backyard! It's a two team game! Whoever has the ball can't move until they throw it to someone else on their team! Whoever gets it next can't move until they pass it to someone else on their team and the other team is supposed to get it! Each team is supposed to make it to the opposite team's side to score!"

"That sounds fun." Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo butted in. "A lot of fun! We gotta do it!"

We walked out of the tree house and went near the park area before we started playing. Since we had an odd amount of players, I decided to keep the score. Not to mention I was taller than Jonathan. That would've been unfair. It was Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell vs Jonathan and Scootaloo. Scootaloo picked the teams. Doesn't she know Jonathan can't catch? I watched them play for a while. At first Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell was winning because Jonathan kept missing the ball whenever she threw it far, but Scootaloo found a strategy where Jonathan would throw it going and Scootaloo would catch it. Scootaloo would then wait until Jonathan got close to throw it. Right when Scootaloo and Jonathan started winning, the ball stopped in mid air and landed on the ground, shaking. The ball popped revealing Twilight in it;s place. She looked weird. Jonathan stood there, looking devistated.

"Hi girls!!!" Twilight said.

"Oh hi Twilight? How's it goi-"

"Great! Just great! You five look like you're doing great too! Looks like five good friends who obviously don't need the help of another good friend!" She said before taking out a raggedy worn-looking pony doll. "This is Smarty Pants. She was mine when I was your age, and now I want to give her to you!" She was twitching.. I looked at the other girls and they didn't look like they wanted it either.

"Uh... I think we're good, Twilight." I said

"YOU!!!" Jonathan screamed at her.

Twilight slowly turned her head to me, still wearing that grin. Okay.. This is weird.. like, creepy weird.. "Oh come now! I insist. She even comes with her own notebook and quill so you can pretend she's doing her homework!" Why? "I just hope that the fact that there are five of you and only one of her doesn't become a problem. I would hate to cause a rift between such good friends! So who wants her first?"

"YOU!!!" Jonathan screamed. "I WAS WINNING!! I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID DOLL! I WANT THE BALL BACK!!! I WANT THE BALL! I WANT THE BALL! THE BALL! BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!" Jonathan fell no the ground and started flailing, screaming 'ball'.

"We really don't want the doll, but thanks anyway... I need to take Jonathan home..." I said, backing away from the crazy purple unicorn. She teleported behind me, making me jump out of my skin.

"Oh don't worry!" Her horn glowed and she put some spell on the doll. Then I noticed the girls staring at the doll like they just had to have it. "You are going to like Smarty Pants more than anything! But you have to try to get her first!" She said, throwing the doll in between my filly friends. They started fighting like it was made of gold or something.

"I think... I need to get out of here..." I hurried over to Jonathan and grabbed his hand. "Jonathan do you want some of that chocolate drink at home? Good! Let's go!" Jonathan and I were out of there..

-Xavier's PoV-

Spike and I were chilling at the library waiting for Celestia's response. We were just talking about random topics, from human entertainment, movies, and comics (which I told him we could read at home if he had time) to... well, the other ponies.

"So you're saying Twilight could have this obsessive compulsive disorder thing?"

"Well, let me ask you something. Does every single thing in this library have to be in order?" I said, looking at the already checked off list of things to do today.

"Yeah."

"Is she an over-exaggerator?" I asked.

"You heard her earlier today."

"And she has you triple and quadruple checking things, so yeah. She's showing many symptoms of OCD. They're usually neat freaks. One small thing that's slightly out of place, they'd put it as their top priority to fix. Lord knows what'll happen if absolutely nothing goes the way things should."

"Wow... That totally sounds like Twilight. Oh! Do Rarity!"

"HAH! Rarity is too easy. She has mysophobia Short for molysomophobia."

Spike did a double-take at the long word. "Molyomosapho-what?"

"Mysophobia. Fear of getting dirty or contaminated. I don't think there's a word yet for fear of bad fashion sense though."

"What about Pinkie?"

"She's showing symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder... emphasis on hyperactivity."

"ADHD?"

"Yeah. People with that take medication called Ritalin, or something similar to Ritalin."

Spike burst out laughing. "So that's why you say Pinkie needs Ritalin."

"Exactly why she needs Ritalin." I said, smiling. I started to hear a commotion coming from outside. I looked through the window and saw a bunch of ponies chasing someone with a pony doll, heading towards the park. Yeah... no thanks.

"What was that?"

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about." I lied. "What's taking the Princess so long?"

"I dunno. Maybe she's busy with something else."

-a few hours later-

"What?! No way! The Power Ponies could totally beat your Avengers!"

"You're shitting me. Thor is a god that could take on Celestia and Luna at the same time and win, let alone your Zapp, Hulk is an invincible angry wrecking ball that could level Canterlot and the mountain it rests on and can probably sweep the floor with Saddle Rager to no end!"

"Oh yeah? Who can take on Fili-second?"

"Quick Silver."

"And Masked Matterhorn?"

"Iron Man."

"No way! She has energy beams and can freeze her foes!"

"Iron Man has power armor that can go into space without freezing. He'd break the ice off."

Spike was getting a bit upset. "U-uh... Radiance! I bet no pony could beat her!"

"Are you talking about the mare with Green Lantern's power, but pink?"

"Yeah! I bet you don't have-"

"Scarlet Witch."

"Mistress Mare-velous?"

"Ant Man."

Spike just stared at me with an 'you're kidding me' look. "Ant man?"

"Ant Man."

"Let me guess. He can turn into an ant."

"Nope. He can shrink down to small size."

"Wouldn't Mistess Mare-velous just step on him then?"

"Nope. When he shrinks, not only is he hard to spot due to his small size, he also has super strength. Ever see a guy get beat up and flipped by nothing? That's Ant Man doing it."

Spike was looking pretty disgruntled.

"Don't worry Spike. You should see the other Marvel heroes, and you'll love the DC universe. Oh. And there's one hero you should know about who's neither Marvel or DC..."

"Who?"

"Saitama, who can probably beat all of the power ponies alone." When I finished that sentence, I could hear talking downstairs.

"I don't even want to know what-"

"Shoosh!" I held a finger up, going to the door and pressing my ear against it. Spike did the same. I could hear Twilight talking to someone. That voice... Is that Celestia? I couldn't really make out what they were talking about, but I heard Dash and the others too. Soon, they were coming upstairs. We rushed to Twilight's bed and sat on it to make it look like we weren't eavesdropping. When the door opened, we both had innocent looks on our faces. "Heeeeey girls! Hey Celly. How's it goin? When did you get here?"

"We were here for a while, and I know you were eavesdropping." Busted...

"What gave it away?"

"Alicorn hearing. You two were arguing about something, and it oddly went quiet. I could also hear you two scrambling on our way up the stairs. Furthermore, your attitude gives it away." Well damn... nothing gets past the princess...

"Eh, you got me." I shrugged.

Celestia was walking towards the balcony.

"Princess, wait! How did you know I was in trouble?"

The princess turned to Twilight. "Somepony by the name of Mike Wrap Smells got Spike to... Oh Mother...."

"HAHAH-" I had to cover my mouth and nose to silence myself. Spike knew it was a fake name from the start, but he never read it out loud. He was having a hard time himself keeping himself contained. Dash and Pinkie's cheeks were turning red from trying to hold it in.

Celestia sighed and continued. "Got Spike to send me a letter earlier today, saying that you were 'going OCD' on everybody and started going nuts over not having a friendship report today." Now it was Twilight's turn to give me the 'are you serious' look. "I commend the human and Spike for taking your feelings into consideration." Celestia spread her wings. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. I'm expecting a letter." She took off, heading back to her mountain castle.

When the princess was out of sight, Twilight stared at me. "Really, Xavier?" I was on the ground laughing the next second.

"It was his idea, not mine." Spike said.

"Anyway, Spike, take a letter."

As Spike was busy writing the letter, I told myself I wasn't going to interrupt them. I put on my headphones, not really interested in what they had to write to the princess, lying on the couch. It was then that I felt a hoof gently poke my cheek. I took my headphones off and hung them around my neck to face Twilight. "Sup?"

"Aren't you going to add anything?"

"Sure." I got off the couch and went over to Spike. I wrote a little something on the bottom, having a huge grin on my face. Twilight caught this and started speed-trotting this way. "Spikehurryupandsendit!"

"Xavier wha- Spike wait!"

-belch!-

"Too late." I said with a grin.

"What did you send?" Twilight asked, giving me a half-worried glare.

"Oh don't worry. It's nothing that bad." I reassured her.

"I swear, Xavier, you can be so foalish sometimes, but..." She leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. "thanks again." She said before pulling Spike into the hug too. I had an idea what was coming next. The group hug. Are ponies always this affectionate?

I enjoyed the hug until I realized I couldn't move. That wasn't a good thing. "No problem. Hey uh, girls, can we not? This is a nice moment and all, but I'm still claustrophobic." Twilight let go.

"Oh. That's a new one. What's that?" Spike asked.

"Fear of close spaces or having no escape, so please girls!!!" The girls quickly backed off. "Sorry."

"Xavier, I know about phobias too, you know. It's okay." Twilight said.

Twilight never found out what I wrote to the princess.

S2 Chapter 3:Confronting Luna/Nightmare Ni-HERESY!!!

Season 2 Chapter 3: Nightmare Ni-HERESY!!!

-Xavier's Recap-

It's been little over a month since I sent Princess Celestia that letter under 'Plottimus Saggington.' Although Twilight's sense of humor needed working on, I felt like I was able to tell Dash, and when I did, she was rolling around for a while in laughter.

"You know, I'm surprised you can actually get away with that!"

"Hey. Celestia told me that her job was boring and stressful. Humor'd brighten up her day."

The next week, I went to Sugarcube Corner where for the first time, I saw Mrs. Cake not pudgy. In fact, I already knew what was going on. Especially how happy she was. It was clear that she lost her 'weight' in the hospital. She had just got back that morning, telling me that she had twins. I congratulated her. Pinkie wanted to throw her a party for it, but I didn't think she would be ready to handle a Pinkie Party yet. My concern however, was how they came out. When I asked, she said they came out wonderfully. The reason I asked is because she was really frightened during our first encounter. I don't know much about pregnancy or child birth besides not drinking and working while pregnant, but I'd feel terrible if I was the cause for any deformities or attitude problems. I told this to Mrs. Cake, and she giggled, saying I was being silly, but sweet. Mr. Cake was still a bit on edge with me around, but I'm guessing he was trusting his wife and Pinkie's judgement in me. At least he's respectful towards me.

After Celestia's last visit, Twilight seemed to relax more with her studies. That meant more time she could spend with me and Dash. She was pretty glad that she got to spend more time with us. I was pretty happy with her being more available. I was actually thinking about calling it off with her. Glad I was patient. Now that she had more time for me, I decided that we could start going places. There was a show coming to Ponyville. I was excited at first, but I found out it was a historical play. Dash and I looked at each other. This wasn't our cup of tea, but I stomached it for Twilight since it was our first herd activity. I think movies kinda spoiled me. Twilight figured out that we didn't really enjoy the show (Rainbow may or may not have been the cause of it) and felt bad that we had to bear it for her. Me being the nice guy, I told her that being with her is what made it bearable. Funny thing... I'm not usually that charming.

-End of Xavier's Recap-

October 15th, 2186 CE

London, Earth

It was total chaos. The screams of death everywhere. I was running down into a street with two of my squad mates following close behind. We heard a blood-curdling terrifying sound that echoed the entire city. That's when we knew we had very little time to get to our rendezvous point and meet up with the others. We were getting close when bullets ran past my head, barely missing. There were Marauders, indoctrinated and turned Turians, firing at us from several stories high from inside another building. My squad and I took cover and returned fire. I took out my N7 Crusader and started firing. I had activated my shoulder-mounted Hawk missile launcher. It had locked on to the one I was focused on and launched a hawk missile at it. The explosion had knocked the Marauder out of his cover. Before it could regain itself, one shot from my surprisingly long ranged and highly accurate shotgun (I mean seriously, it might as well be a scope-less sniper rifle). One of my squad mates used 'biotics' to pull another marauder from the window. If our guns didn't kill it, the fall sure as hell did. The last marauder standing was pretty hard to reach. It was killed none the less by an unknown sniper. I guess it was safe to say that it was clear.

Soon enough, we made it to our destination. It was a well fortified area that was heavily defended. We didn't really know how long it would take a Reaper to notice and completely obliterate it. The Alliance soldiers opened the gate so we could enter. We were safe for now. I took off my helmet to get some fresh air. Twilight and Rainbow Dash did the same.

"Good work pulling that Marauder out of that building, Twi."

"It was nothing. I just used a little magic." She said. I rubbed behind the anthromorphic ponys' ears. They both appreciated it. We had people to meet, however. Luna and Celestia were planning on meeting here with their pony and threstral division for reinforcement, but I needed to meet up with the rest of my crew. Rarity was coordinating with the squads outside the base while Fluttershy was healing the wounded. Applejack was rallying the troops. Bro was on sniper duty while Jeff and Jack were on stock. There were troops everywhere, from squads that were stationed here at first, to remnants of other squads and battalions, Turian, Asari, Krogan, Salarian, Geth, and even some pony scouts. We were inside of a garage building.

"Things are pretty hectic out there." Rainbow Dash said. "If you never found our planet, we could've ended up like those robot zombies."

"Yeah. You've definitely held your part in saving Equestria and all of Equuis from the Reaper threat." Twilight added.

"Thanks girls." It took a while for me to notice the girls were giving me sultry looks, completely naked. "Where'd your armor go?"

"You know, we never did thank you properly." Twilight said, approaching me.

"Yeah. It'd be a shame if we died before doin' it once, you know." Rainbow followed.

They both were right in front of me. I wrapped each arm around them, bringing them both in for a three-way kiss, groping their soft but firm breasts.

"ART THOU HAVING FUN WITH THE PRINCESS'S STUDENT, HUMAN?!" A new and not to mention loud voice out of nowhere called. Strange. I thought it was just the three of us. The voice sounded like Luna's, but she wasn't supposed to be here yet.

I quickly let go of Rainbow and Twilight. "Vice Admiral Luna! I-I uh... didn't expect you to be here so soon. You and Admiral Celestia are here with reinforcements?"

"WE ART NOT APART OF THY TERMAGANT AND LUST-FULL'D DREAMS!"

"Termagant? Wait..." I clapped my hands twice as the ruined garage we were in lit up. Luna was in the corner, and not the anthromorphic pony Vice Admiral, but the pony-pony Princess. I didn't.... Then I remembered something Celestia said, which echoed through the room.

"Don't worry about Lulu. She can walk through other people's dreams, but usually to keep them from having nightmares. It's called dream-walking."

"...Oh..." I narrowed my eyes at the Princess.

"WE TOLD THOU THAT WE WOULDST KEEP AN EYE ON YOU, BEAST!!" Luna said.

"So you really can just walts up in someone's dream and spy on them? That's fucked up, princess." A TV remote appeared in my hand as I pointed it to her. I hit the lower volume button multiple times.

"Watcheth thy tongue, human, shouldst I bring forth thy deepest nightmares to present."

"First off, what's your deal?!" Yeah, I was pretty livid, and to be frank, I felt a bit violated.

She looked around. "Thou and thy kind hast proven to be a threat to us, our sist'r, and our people. we hast already been through thou Jeff's and Jack's deepest of dreams and now yours. we now knoweth what kind of pow'r thy people holdeth." I laughed out loud. She stared at me dawning a worried look. "What doth thou find so funny?"

"You. You're a joke. You come up in my dreams, my friend's dreams, and my brother's dream without our permission so you can find out our military secrets? You're a fucking joke." I said. Almost instantly, she was wearing colorful clothing, a rubber nose, and a clown wig.

"What are thou. . ." She looked at herself in a mirror that appeared out of nowhere. "We are not thou jester! How are you doing this?!" She said, amidst panic.

"You've stumbled into a lucid dream, my dear. Most of my dreams are lucid. This world you see around you is utterly fictional and isn't mine, but it's my dream, and I have complete control over it. Since I'm magic resistant, that means you have barely any control here." I wrapped my arms around my anthromorphic fillyfriends again as they laughed at her.

"Thou dare laugh at thy princess?!"

The ponies laughed in her face. "You aren't our princess. They are." Rainbow said, pointing outside to Admiral and Vice Admiral Celestia and Luna who were also anthromorphic, walking out of their shiny gold and midnight blue Kodiak shuttle with their equestrian emblem on it. The royal guards were now dawning roman looking armor.

"Cease this at once!"

"Sure." Everything froze in place as I pushed the 'pause' button. I let go of the remote and it floated beside me. She tried to move, but her hooves were covered up to her knees in cement. She tried to charge her horn, but I made one of those de-magicking rings and put it on her horn instantly. "Ready to talk like adults now?"

"What doth thou want, beast?"

"I want you to pay for intruding (and cockblocking me) on my dream like this. Man's dream is supposed to be our sacred space which holds our deepest secrets and desires, and not for someone else to just tread upon without permission. But being the oh so nice guy I am, I actually want us to be cool. You don't know a thing about me besides the fact that I have a thing for your sister's student. But I guess I'm just a monster to you unless I look like this." I turned myself into a brown pegasus pony with a black short cut mane. "Kinda prejudice if you ask me. 'Oh he's different than from what I'm used to so he must be dangerous.' Oh wait... more like 'Oh he-ith be-ith different-eth from-eth what-ith I'm-eth useth to.' "

"Doth not mock our way of speaking!" Luna looked absolutely livid.

"Hey. It's my dream. I can do what I want." I said, turning back into my own form, this time wearing my casual hoodie and jeans. "Like I said before, you shouldn't even be here. In fact, I can do many things to you right now while you're vulnerable. Many far uncomfortable and humiliating things." I said, grinning while stepping towards her.

"Thou wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, but I could. However, I'm not even close to being the monster you turn me out to be." I snapped my fingers and we appeared in my bed room, Luna now being free.

She stared at me for a moment. "Thou doth not belongeth in these lands. Why art thou here?"

"To answer your question, we know we're kinda out of place here. We don't know how we came here, or if we'll ever go back to our own world, Earth. We just appeared here one morning. It's not our fault for being here, but if we're stuck here for the rest of our lives, why not make the most of it?" I sat down on my bed.

"How doth we knoweth thou aren't a wolf in sheep's clothing?"

"To answer that question, we wouldn't need to be. I'm able to hurt Discord simply by punching him. Me, Jeff, Jack and my bro, we four could've killed a lot of ponies already if we're as bloodthirsty as you believe us to be, but to be frank, you pose more of a threat to the world than we do."

She glared. "Now just what doeth thou mean by that?"

"You control the moon. In fact, last year before we arrived, you were trying to make it so that it'd be night time all the time. Plants need sunlight. Without sunlight, plants will die, and your ponies would starve to death. And on a direct approach, you could always slam the moon onto the surface and annihilate all life as you know it. We humans can't do that."

"Thou said magic cannot affect thy kind."

"Can't use magic either. There are no traces of magic in our bodies. Twilight actually took samples and scanned me. You know, after we... you know... started our relationship."

"Thou jest!" Luna looked pretty surprised.

"What? It's true. The herd thing is new to me, but both Twilight and Rainbow are 'involved' with me. Ask your sister. Or you could visit Twilight's or Rainbow's dream and ask them yourself. Look. We aren't here for trouble. We just want to live our lives, ya know? Make friends, and be happy. And to be frank, I like it here. It's mostly peaceful here, I'm loving the guy-girl ratio, I have loving lovers and friends, something I never had back on my world if you don't count Jack, and besides the magic factor, things are much simpler here."

"Doeth thou miss thou own realm?"

"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't our choice. We were kinda thrust here by some unknown force. Didn't even get to say goodbye to my mom and dad. I also think about all the internet memes I'm missing, all the movies and games that came out and stuff, I was gonna see Star Wars VII when it first came out! The original Han Solo was gonna be in it! I'll never get to see him kick ass." At least I'll be safe from spoilers. Luna stared at me, clearly not having the faintest clue about what I was talking about. "But still, if I'd have a choice to go back, I probably wouldn't. If anything, I'd like to send a note letting my parents know that their children are okay and are living happy lives, and that we're taking care of each other. Maybe send them a photo with the gang along with our new friends in front of their house."

Luna nodded her head, looking to the side. "We see. We guess we may hast jump to conclusions. We wouldst like to apologize for judging thou for thy differences. We hast never seen nor dealt with a being such as yourself. We had assumed thou were yet another beast. Thou knowest of our story. We shouldst know how it feels to be different. We will not both'r thou in thy dreams again."

"Hey hey hey, I kinda have an idea. This is pretty cool talking to an actual person in dreams instead of projections. We could do things we can't do in real life here, and now I can actually do 'em with someone. You know I kinda don't mind you being here. I just ask that you ask first."

"Thou're willing to alloweth me to enter thy dreams? Even though it is sacred to your people?" Luna looked at me, surprised.

"Sure. Just ask first. Now, I don't think I'm going to be waking up anytime soon since tomorrow's a night time holiday, so wanna just chill?" I snapped my fingers. We ended up on a Caribbean tropical beach.

The princess looked around at the trees, down at the sand she stood on, and t the clear blue waters in front of us. "This environment is rather nice. We've never seen nor heard of a beach like this before."

"It's because this place isn't on Equestria. We're on Earth in one of Jamaica's beaches."

"Just one more question." Luna looked at my two anthromorphic fillyfriends who were now playing out in the water. "Why are they like that? Doeth thou not value them as they are?"

"First of all, you're gonna have to learn to stop talking like that. 'Do you not value them as they are?' is what you mean to ask. No on talks that way anymore, and frankly they'd find it kinda weird. Secondly, I do, but here's the thing about dreams that I thought someone like you would know. Dreams are seen as manifestations of memories, fears, obsessions, our anxieties, and our deepest desires. I just know how to control them."

"How?"

"Years of gaming, concentration, and understanding. Oh, and practice too. To answer your question about them," I gestured towards the girls. "They still have pony features like head, tail, and hooves for feet, but like I said, deepest desires." And my subconscious may be telling me I'm a furry lover.

"We see. Well, we believe thou- i mean you will be waking up very soon."

I looked around, and she was right. My surroundings started to waver.

"Thou will see us again very soon."

"Practice speaking in present speak!!!" I called out.

Monday 10/31

I woke up from my Mass Effect dream at around 4 o clock in the morning due to movement. Said movement being Twilight getting off of my bed and leaving a note saying she was heading home for preparations. I turned to the other mare in my bed who was on her back, snoring. Looking at her now made me think about what Luna asked me back in my dream, about liking them the way they are. I do like 'em the way they are. To me, the cuteness helps magnify the way I see their character. I pondered and thought why they were anthro'd in the first place. Maybe I really do miss the curves and bust of human chicks. Oh well. I didn't want to move or wake her up this early in the morning. I already knew that I most likely wasn't going to go back to sleep. Glad I'm a nerd who always sleeps with his 3DS nearby.

Hours of Fire Emblem: Awakening later, I felt a little shuffling from my side. Rainbow was waking up. "Morning Skittles."

"Hey, what time is it?"

"Time for you to get a watch." I grinned at her. She shot me a look before getting up. "It's 7 o clock. I don't think anyone's up yet."

She groaned, getting out of the bed. Now that she was awake and up, that means I could get up too. After three minutes of mustering the strength to even remove the warm comforting covers off of me I got up and went downstairs to grab a bar only to find Hiroto making breakfast.

"Sup Hiro."

"Hey."

"Cookin breakfast?"

"Yup."

"Cool. Thanks dude."

"Hm."

After our short exchange, I went to the living room and sat down. Rainbow soon came down after and sat beside me. "Have I ever told you that human toilets are weird?"

"Yeah, at least around twice a week."

"You know what today is, right?" She asked, grinning at me.

"Halloween?"

"What? No! What's a Halloween?"

"Thirty-first of October. Dress up in a costume, house to house for candy. We say 'Trick or Treat' but we all know we're getting treats and not tricks."

"I guess that's the human version of Nightmare Night, just without Nightmare Moon."

"I guess so."

"Who're you gonna be?"

I looked at her with a smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know? I don't think you'd know the character even if I told you. It's better if you saw me in it."

"Yeah, you'll have to take a wild guess at who I'm going as. I bet you'll never gue-"

"Wonderbolts."

She had a shocked expression on her face. "Wha?"

"Sorry Skittles, but that was kinda predictable."

"B-but... Argh!!! Now I gotta go as somepony else!" She said, leaving out of the front door.

I guess she's going to be busy. After breakfast, Jack took everyone who was interested to go get their costumes from Rarity. I went to check the list to see if anyone had actually regarded holiday breaks. Two people actually signed the list to see if we could make costumes. Those ponies are going to be quite disappointed because I can't make clothes for shit, not that I'd try or would even want to.

I decided to walk around the town a little bit. The ponies were setting up decorations and games for tonight. When I walked over by Rarity's, there was a huge line in front of her building. I guess she was really busy for a while. She's probably gonna have a tub of bits to wallow around in after this is over. Applejack was placing a barrel in the middle of the walkway near the Town Hall. Now that I think about it, if this is a pony holiday, they didn't celebrate it last year. I'll just ask later.

I didn't really bother anyone for a while. Eventually I got bored and headed to pay Fluttershy a visit. I knocked on the door. I know I didn't see her in town today. I knocked again. This time, her bunny opened the door. He had an irritated expression. That was until he saw it was me. He held his paw on the door and I knew he was thinking about slamming it, but I shook my head at him. He knew that I would kick the door in on him if he tried.

"Who is it?" I heard a meek voice say from upstairs.

"It's-a me. Xavier."

"Oh.. Hey.. I'll be down there in a moment... if that's okay.."

"Take your time, pretty pegsi."

I could've sworn I heard a feint 'eep'. After a few minutes of having a winning stare off with Angel, Fluttershy finally came down, hiding behind her mane.

"So.. what brings you here?"

"I was just stopping to visit the wonderful mare that's graceful enough to spend time with my sis."

Not even her mane could hide her blush. "Oh... well.. no problem? ...oh my..."

"Sorry. Maybe I should tone back my charm a bit. Say, do you plan on attending Nightmare Night?"

"NO!" She shouted. I jumped, never expecting her to raise her voice like that. "I mean... no... I'm sorry." She started to walk in her kitchen.

"Aw... That's a shame. Sis would've loved it if you could hang with her during Nightmare Night, you know. You're kinda like a second mom to her." This made her stop right in her tracks.

"A... A second...m-mom?"

"Yup. I mean you were the first pony to take her in and help her, and you did protect her from that flying vase. Not to mention before she met the three fillies she hangs around with, and before the school started up again, she did pretty much spend almost the entire day with you."

She tried to hide it, but I could see her smile. "I-I will... think about it.."

"That's great!" I said, scratching behind her ears. When I did that, she made a quiet high pitch 'eep' noise. My stomach tightened at how adorable I found it. I wanted to scoop her up and hug her, but she's not a stuffed toy. "So... uh, need help with anything?"

"Um... no.. not really..."

There was a knock on the door.

"...Second thought, can you get that? ...if you don't mind..."

"No probs, Flutters." I went to the door and opened it. It was Bri standing there looking excited, but her facial expression changed to confusion when she saw me instead.

"What're you doing here?" She asked.

"I was just seeing if Fluttershy wanted anything, oh sister of mine."

She saw Fluttershy behind me and glomped her. "Hi Miss Fluttershy!!"

"OOF! Hello Brianna." Fluttershy only managed to pat her head with her hoof a few times, nuzzling her a bit before letting her go.

"Hey Fluttershy! Are you going to go trick or treating with me?!" Brianna asked rather loudly. Fluttershy cringed at her lack of volume control.

"Uh, Brianna, inside voice please." I told her.

Fluttershy looked at Brianna, then at me, then back at her again. "I think... I'll give it a try.. This is going to be your first Nightmare Night, right?" My sister nodded her head. "Oh is that so? Because it's going to be mine too."

My sister gasped. "Really?! What's your costume gonna be?"

"I-I don't know yet, sweetie, but I suppose I'll come up with something."

I smiled at both of them. I couldn't help but to smile whenever I saw my sister getting along with someone. "Hey uh, Flutters, can I talk to you in private?"

"Oh... Sure.." Fluttershy and I walked out the front door. "What is it?" She asked curiously.

"Just wanted to thank you again for taking such care of my sister. It means a lot to the three of us." I said.

She blushed, smiling at me. "I'll be happy to have you and her around.. and your brother too if that's okay..."

I gave her a quick scratch behind the ears before I headed back inside. However, my sister looked at us both with a look I know all too well. You know the look your best friend gives you when you talk to/about a crush you have? Yeah, she was giving me that look. What she said next confirmed it.

"I ship it!"

We stayed at Fluttershy's for a while before it was time for us to head home and get ready for our first Nightmare Night. When we arrived home, my sis just had to open her mouth.

"She's nice you know."

"Bri."

"She's pretty too."

"Bri."

"She's kind."

"This is gonna be a thing with you, isn't it?"

"Yup!" She said cheerfully.

I gave out a sigh and went up stairs. I passed Hiroto along the way. "Hey uh, Hiroto. It's time."

"I have you covered." He replied as I opened the door to the attic. I was then shown the work he did that I gave him the bits for. Tonight was going to be awesome.

-No one's PoV-

Twilight had walked out of her library, wearing a wizard's hat, cloak and fake beard, with Spike dressed as a dragon in tow. Nopony had a clue who she was, all assuming she was just a random old man. She met with Pinkie Pie who was dressed as a chicken. Applejack, dressed as a scarecrow, stuck with her little apple bobbing game where you dip your head in the liquid and fish for apples.

Fluttershy, wearing a cape, bat-shaped hair clips and fake fangs was walking around town beside Brianna who was wearing a white shirt with a lime-green stripe going across the middle and pink shorts, her hair tied in a medium-sized ponytail. Traevon was wearing blue shades, headphones, large gloves, black pants, his roller blades, and a bright yellow shirt with black sleeves, having light blue-green Japanese letters on the front. He was hanging with Vinyl Scratch who had her mane brushed all the way to one side and was wearing thick rimmed, lens-less glasses, and Octavia wearing half of a white mask and a black cloak.

Jack was wearing armor with a few glowing bits and a red stripe and had 'N7' on it with a few 'weapons' attatched to the armor. He was giving a piggyback ride to his little brother who was wearing an orange gi with a small patch that had Japanese symbol on it and a large one in the back, blue boots, and a blue short-sleeved t-shirt under the gi, and two blue wristbands. Following them was Jeff who wore a vest of 'ammunition' over a red tank top and blue jeans. His belt had the nuclear symbol on it. Shades covered his eyes.

After helping Xavier with his costume, Hiroto, wearing a red hat, blue jacket, and a black t-shirt underneith, having 6 red and white balls clipped to his belt, had decided to hang out with Diamond Tiara who was dressed in a princess manner, and Silver Spoon who was dressed as a cat.

Jack, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie had joined the clown-dressed mayor on hearing the tale of Nightmare Moon along with the rest of the crusaders with Scootaloo dressed as a wolf, Sweetie Belle as a vampire, and Apple Bloom as the Bride of Frankenstein. Jonathan, being the brave fighter he was dressed as, didn't flinch at the projections like the others. In fact, him and Twilight were the only ones that didn't flinch. Everyone else was frightened by the effects. Even Jack was being a scared soldier. To top it off, a charriot being carried by two of the bat ponies Xavier had fought off was flying over their heads. Everyone was screaming except for the studious unicorn and the fearless kid.

Everyone had ran back to town to hide. Twilight wanted to see who the newcomer was, who revealed herself to be Princess Luna, who was last seen by Ponyville as Nightmare Moon. Even though Twilight knew that she meant no harm, that surely didn't mean the other ponies didn't.

"CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! WE HAVE GRACED YOUR TINY VILLAGE WITH OUR PRESENCE, SO THAT YOU MIGHT BEHOLD THE REAL PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!" Luna started, using her 'Royal Canterlot Voice'. "A CREATURE OF NIGHTMARES NO LONGER, BUT INSTEAD A PONY WHO DESIRES YOUR LOVE AND ADMIRATION! TOGETHER WE SHALL CHANGE THIS DREADFUL CELEBRATION INTO A BRIGHT AND GLORIOUS FEAST!"

Pinkie made things worst by screaming, "Did you hear that everypony?!? Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!!!" That got everyone in a panic until another voice echoed in the air.

"I hear the sound of Chaos! The sound of Heresy!"

Heavy footsteps were heard as a large red hulking being wearing Red Armor which had a winged skull in the center. One of his tan painted shoulder guards had an arrow pointing upwards and the other one having a black silhouette of a raven with a blood drip in the center. The being's helmet's red eyes glowed as he looked out at the sight of cowering ponies infront of him. He gripped his boltgun with his large mechanical hands.

"I stand ready."

After it said that, Twilight looked like she was about to bolt any minute. Princess Luna looks at it. The holiday was mainly about how frightening she is, but she was intimidated by the alien. It took steps towards the two, both of them looking up at it. It seemed like an intense moment. It was a good stare off for a while. Half of the ponies raised their heads to watch the stare-off between the one they know as Nightmare Night, and whatever the huge hulking red thing is. It was then that it decided to break the silence.

"Sup, Twi?" it said in Xavier's voice.

-Xavier's PoV-

"Xavier? I-Is that you?" Twilight asked, still looking like she'd wet herself any moment.

"Yup. It's me."

"You're huge! What are you even supposed to be?!?"

"Xavier the Space Marine." I said, taking off my helmet. "And I take it you're supposed to be Gandalf?"

This caused Twilight to throw her hooves up. "UGH! I give up!"

"She's supposed to be Starswirl the Bearded." Luna said, causing Twilight to beam at her. "I thought you were a lot...smaller in structure. You have grown well since our last meeting."

"It's the costume. I'm kinda elevated." I told her.

"Well, we are happy to see thou, human, but it seems the town still thinks of me as a beast." Just like how you saw me. When Luna looked around, the ponies bowed, shaking in their hooves. "I think we should leave."

When Luna started to walk off, I put my helmet back on. Twilight had a sympathetic look on her face. "I'm going to go talk to her."

Spike out of nowhere came up and grabbed her cape. "You can't talk to her! She's Nightmare Moon!"

"No she's not. I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good, but it seems like she's having some trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years." She said, walking off.

"Awaiting orders." I said in my Space Marine voice.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Come with me, Space Marine."

"Yes my lord."

Following Twilight, we saw Luna heading through the Everfree Forest.

"Princess spotted."

Twilight facehoofed."Ugh, Xavier can you give it a rest already?"

"Halt, Princess!" The princess stopped and looked at the two of us.

"What is it thou want from us?"

"I'm sorry, Princess Luna. I don't think I introduced myself. My real name is-"

"Twilight Sparkle. IT WAS THOU WHO UNLEASHED THE POWERS OF HARMONY UPON US AND TOOK AWAY OUR DARK POWERS!" Is it really that necessary to yell?

"And that's a good thing, right?" Twilight asked.

"But of course. We could not be happier. Is that not clear?"

"Negative!" I said.

Twilight shot me a look fro a second before returning her attention back to the princess. "Well, it sounds like you're yelling at me."

"But this is the traditional Royal Canterlot Voice! It is tradition to speak using the royal 'we', and to use THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADDRESSING OUR SUBJECTS!!"

"You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with 'mixed results.'" Twilight said.

"Yeah. Last year, I might as well been Godzilla with the way ponies were running around trying to get away from me, but unlike you, I made the most of it." They couldn't see, but I was grinning under my helmet. "They were scattering around like ants after you drop an ant farm! Heheheh."

"Yeah, well your fun was responsible for collateral damages." Twilight said.

"No it wasn't. Ponies not being careful where they were going were responsible."

"Anyway!" Twilight said, rolling her eyes again. "I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception."

"It worked for me." I told the princess.

"CHANGE OUR APPROACH?"

"Lower the volume?"

"Oh.... We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are.. not sure we can."

"But you just did." I smirked under my helmet. "Just use that voice."

"We will try."

The two went ahead. I just stayed put. Twilight turned her head. "Xavier, are you coming?"

...

Twilight facehoofed. "Come on, Space Marine!"

"As you command."

We were approaching Fluttershy's house. "Don't worry, Princess. Fluttershy can give you some great pointers. She's delicate and demure with the sweetest little voice." Fluttershy's lights were out. Twilight knocked on the door and we got a response.

"Go away! No candy here! Visitors not welcome on Nightmare Night!"

And another voice. "And no scary horses allowed!" Brianna...

"Fluttershy, it's me, Twilight."

Fluttershy cracked the door open. "Oh... It is you. Ah, and Nightmare Moon." It took a second. "NIGHTMARE MOON?!?" She shrieked and slammed the door. Did she even see me?

Twilight had to go in there and drag her out, although it was hard to do when my little sister was trying to pull Fluttershy back in, so I gave Twi a red metal hand.

"Xavier?" Brianna asked.

"Yup."

"Fluttershy, you remember Princess Luna?"

"CHARMED!" Her RCV frightened Fluttershy and had her rush back into her house, or would have been had I not been standing in the way.

Fluttershy hesitantly turned back to Luna. "L-Likewise..."

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE HATH SPOKEN OF THE SWEETNESS OF THY VOICE! WE ASK THOU TO TEACHEST TO US TO SPEAK AS THOU SPEAKETH!!!"

"Okay.."

"SHALL OUR LESSONS BEGIN?!"

"Okay..."

"SHALL WE MIMIC THY VOICE?"

"Okay..."

"HOW IS THIS?!?"

"Perfect.lessonover." She tried to squeeze between my armored legs, but couldn't fit.

I knelt down to Fluttershy and she started to cower. In my Space Marine voice, I told her. "Fear denies faith. Faith is our shield." Twilight and Brianna facehoofed. I hugged Fluttershy. "Don't worry, Flutters. I won't let anything happen to ya while I'm around." I said in my normal voice.

"X-Xavier?"

I took off my helmet... "Yup." ...Before putting it back on. Fluttershy seemed to calm down, but that didn't stop Brianna from giving me that look again. I aimed my boltgun at her. In my Space Marine voice, I yelled "EAT BOLTGUN!"

She literally tried to bite my boltgun. She's my sister after all...

Fluttershy was still shaking even though a little bit when Luna approached us. "How is this?"

"That's actually good." I told her. Fluttershy agreed.

Luna snatched Fluttershy from my hold and gave her what I assumed is a god-like squeeze hug. "I THANK THEE, DEAR FLUTTERSHY! OUR NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE SHALL SURELY WIN US THE HEARTS OF THY FELLOW VILLAGERS!!" And you were doing so well too, until you broke Fluttershy.

As if the universe was mad at Princess Luna, Pinkie Pie and her mob of children were headed to Fluttershy's but saw her limp in Luna's grasp. And of course, Pinkie told the foals that Luna had stolen Fluttershy's voice so she couldn't scream while she's eaten or something along those lines, screamed, and ran away.

"NAY CHILDREN! WAIT!" She boomed, before remembering her lesson. "I mean... Nay children, wait!"

I'll be honest. I actually started to feel a bit bad for Luna. She wanted to be loved, not feared. However, I also understood a bit more what was going on. It's happened to me too when I was a kid, being the center of something and not knowing fully what was going on, and it didn't feel very good. This holiday celebrates Nightmare Moon, a scary entity that ponies actually have fun fearing. Like Halloween, but with multiple entities instead of one.

"Hey, uh, Luna? Maybe you should have a little fun, you know, with scaring the ponies."

"But you don't understand, we do not wish to be feared by the children!"

"But everyone wants to fear you today. The fact you've been away for...a long time... and I can understand how you don't get what's going on, but this is a fun holiday for everyone. The problem is, you don't know that everyone is actually having fun right now with being scared of you, which kinda makes it at your expense, but they don't know that. It's quite clear when you think about it." I looked at the shivering pegasus on the ground. "Well, everyone loves being scared on Nightmare Night except for Fluttershy." Why is she dressed like a vampire then?

Twilight thought for a moment. "You know, Xavier, you just might be right! Princess Luna, maybe you fit in best by just not fitting in!"

"So if what thou sayeth is true, then perhaps we shall continue using thy Royal Canterlot Voice?"

"Eh, maybe not as much as you already do. I'd stick to speaking normal volume most of the time unless you really need to get everyone's attention." I told her. "You should probably pay attention to how Celly treats her subjects and follow her example."

"And just why do we have to follow her example?" Luna pouted. Oh boy...

"Hey. I'm not the oldest sibling either, and following a few of my older bro's examples saved me a lot of trouble over the years, so trust me. From one younger sibling to another."

The alicorn smiled. "We see."

"It was pretty much the same when I first came to this town during the day, last year. Ponies running around in a panic, when all I was doing was looking for my runaway sister." I gestured towards my sheepishly smiling sister. "And quite frankly, it was hilarious while it lasted. To me at least. Frankly, I'm kinda envious of you. You have a holiday where you get to pull pranks on people and little kids and get away with it scot free. As long as they're harmless."

"Again, we must say that we have greatly misjudged you, human. Maybe we have been too negative about this entire ordeal. If the ponies enjoy the festival, I shouldn't try to change it."

"You can just call me Xavier, thank you. So go out there and be the friendliest yet scariest Nightmare Moon ever." I told her.

"Huzzah!" Luna cheered as she reared up and galloped to Ponyville.

As we watched her gallop away, Twilight placed a hoof on my leg. "You never cease to amaze me with the crazy yet sensible things you say. How did you do it?"

"Experience. First of all, humans had a holiday back on my world which is a lot similar to Nightmare Night. The scares are all in good fun and kids get lots of candy and treats. Jack likes it because he'd spot chicks in sexy costumes, but that's besides the point." Twilight giggled at the last sentence. "Also, I also know how to be the center of something I didn't know the concept of. Ever hear about a roast?"

"What does this have to do with cooking?"

"Not that roast. There's a kind of roast where a person's friends and family would make fun of each other, but most of the jokes are at the person's expense."

"That doesn't sound very nice..." I heard Brianna say from behind. Twilight agreed.

"Well, the person being 'roasted' is usually being picked on by people who loves and respects him, so the person doesn't usually take it to heart and laughs with them. Even he or she gets to crack a few jokes back. Anyway, I was being roasted by my friends and my brother in Elementary School, and didn't know why they were saying such mean things to me. I didn't know what a roast was and took everything the wrong way. So yeah, I know how Nightmare Moon felt about this holiday."

"Wow.. that's very interesting." Twilight said, having written down everything with a pen and notebook that I hadn't even seen her take out.

I smirked at her. "You think so? Maybe I should gather our friends and roast you one day." Twilight chuckled giving me the 'please don't' look.

"Fluttershy, let's goooo! You said you would spend Nightmare Night with me!" Brianna whined.

"B-But... N-N-Nightmare Moon..."

I turned to look at my sister pulling on the hoof of the shy pegasus. "But you saaaaaaaiiiiiiid!" In response to this, Fluttershy tried to pull back without hurting Brianna, so Brianna did one thing that nobody could see coming. She gave Fluttershy the stare. I know about Fluttershy's hidden ability. I've seen her stare be used several times when animals got out of hand, or when someone messed with her pony, animal, or human friends. Never would I have known that Bri would pick it up from her, let alone use it against her.

The rest of the night went pretty well. I couldn't really join in many games. Sis tried that apple fishing game, but I stopped her after I told her how many other ponies had their mouths in the water. This grossed her out a lot. I got Rainbow Dash to take a break from pranking others in her Shadowbolts costume. Man does she look good in that tight uniform... I can almost see her featu- Moving on, Fluttershy and Brianna pretty much followed me around, the former to make her less frightened and because she gave her word to the later. After a couple of hours of playing the other games, Dash had decided to head back home to call it a night after pulling a few more pranks on the way.

Twilight and I weren't ready to head home just yet. She had volunteered both of us for volunteer cleanup work (without my consent of course). We also ended up seeing Luna off when she had to return to her castle. She had a lot of fun for the most part. I told her ways to give me a warning when she could hang out in my head in the future. Before she took off, she wished me and Twilight good luck with our relationship, which left Twilight's head beet red. After Luna left, Twilight and I went to the park to watch the stars (I got the idea from her outfit... it had a bunch of stars on it.) As we were lying there on our backs, staring up at the sky, I checked my phone for the time.

"Hey, Twi. It's a few hours 'til tomorrow. Should we head back?"

"No, not just yet. I'm enjoying our little alone time."

"Are you now?"

"Yeah. Like, how often are we alone together when I'm not studying?"

"Not very often since you're almost always studying."

"Well, this is... nice."

We lied there for a moment, staring at the stars. Twilight, trying to be sneaky, started shifting closer to me. I just pretended to not notice. When she tried to lean in for the kiss though, her lips only met my hands. She gave me a puzzled and offended look.

"Sorry. I don't kiss dudes." I said, gesturing to her beard.

Twilight left her annoying laughing boyfriend behind, going home.

Author's Note

That's Chapter 3 of Season 2. I decided to have a little fun with this chapter and not make it anything like the show, besides maybe the costume the ponies wear. I know Space Marine armor is quite large for the average human, and the best one that was actually made required engineering, but can we please just have a little fun here and say Hiroto helped him make it?

Anyway, it was originally going to be just a Nightmare Night chapter, but it seemed to be too short a chapter, and the recap didn't seem like it'd be its usual size. Since I like you guys, I wanted to make things a bit interesting and have Luna enter Xavier's dream.

Also, I think either earlier this week or earlier last week, I added a story to my read-it-later library and started reading it yesterday. Please give this fiction a good read. Don't pay attention to the number of dislikes, because I personally enjoyed reading it. The fiction is called Planet of the Ponies by theanonymousbrony. It's very similar to 7HiP, but I'm telling you, I had a hard time not enjoying it. It aims at the episode from different angles. I just wanted to give it a shout out.

Oh, and if you can guess who all the humans were dressed as, correctly, you get cookies.

Anyway, please leave a comment on what you thought of the chapter and leave a thumbs up if you liked it.

Next Chapter: "NASCAR Pets."

Edit: I ask that any mistakes or errors from here on, please inbox me pointing it out. I just like reading your thoughts on the chapter. :twilightblush:

Edit number 2: Someone got Jack's, Xavier's, Hiroto's and Jonathan's character outfits right, but not the other few. Jeff is Duke Nukem, Traevon is Beat from JSRF, and Brianna is Chihiro from Spirited Away.

S2 Chapter 4: Iron Pet Competition

-Xavier's Recap-

Pony Halloween was pretty fun. After I had annoyed Twilight into leaving that night, I knew it was just going to be me and Dash that night, the mare in question still having on her costume. She knew I was eyeing her in it earlier. Unfortunately we couldn't have any fun that night (with cuddling). The Pokemon Trainer had fallen asleep and therefore couldn't help me out of my costume. I slept on the floor as a Space Marine until next morning.

A few days later, I ran into a couple I never expected to meet one morning on a run. I ran into Rarity's and Sweetie Belle's parents, Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles (I had to refrain from snickering) while they were dropping off their little filly off at her older sister's. I thought Sweetie lived at Rarity's house and did the iCarly thing. Nope! Turns out they drop Sweetie Belle at school, and Sweetie goes over to Rarity's before being picked up by her parents. I got along with Rarity's parents better than I got along with her basically. Hondo Flanks was a football coach (even though they call it hoofball, I'm sticking to my version) while Cookie worked at another bakery... as the cleaning lady. She said others never did appreciate her cooking. Sadly, our conversations were cut short and we had to part ways. I had things to do, and they had things to do also. "Oh well. That's the way the.... Cookie Crumbles." Later on that day, Brianna was asking me and bro to participate at this Sisterhooves Social they were having near Sweet Apple Acres the next day, and I was all for it to be honest. Bro, Bri, and I are pretty close siblings, so why wouldn't I? Me trying to be the big brother that spends time with his sister when requested agreed to it. The next afternoon, let's just say that I found out why they called it the Sisterhooves Special. They were for pairs of 'sisters.' Unfortunately I couldn't attend. We could only watch. Never have I ever heard Brianna wish that bro and I were girls so much.

Last week, the fillies stopped by one morning to see if Brianna and Jonathan wanted to go bowling. Of course, that got the attention of both of their older siblings. Things were going well for most of the humans (my ball wouldn't stop CURVING INTO THE GODDAMN GUTTER AT THE LAST MINUTE!!!), but the tallest, consisting of me, Jack, and Trae, ended up bailing when Jack nearly got maimed by Scootaloo's bowling ball. Probably for the best. We had a lot of work to do that day. I heard rumors of a filly with multiple cutie marks while working on Bonbon's broken sink plumbing. Yeah, I had decided that it was probably yet another Ponyville mishaps. Lyra and Bonbon broke into the house in hazmat suits while I was working, but unless I wanted to make a mess in their kitchen, under their sink, I couldn't afford distraction. I found out from Bri what it was though. Apple Bloom gave herself "Cutiepox" from a flower she stole from Zecora. That's what happens when you steal from a black wom-i mean a Zebra mare. You pay for it in on way or another.

-Xavier's Recap Over-

Tuesday, 11/8

"She's pretty~!"

"..."

"She's nice~!!"

"..."

"I think you two'll be perfect for each other!"

"..."

Ever since Nightmare Night, Brianna has been shipping me with Fluttershy. Here I was, walking her to school before my day started. Ever since we left the house, she's been telling me how pretty and nice Flutters is, and how we could make each other happy. Being frank, I had just gotten used to having two girlfriends. Three will most likely be weird. I was trying my best not to grace Bri on the subject.

"She's nice though!" Brianna whined.

"Yeah. Most of these ponies are nice when they get used to you."

I had accidentally bumped into a purple-maned pink mare going the opposite direction wearing a mint colored shirt and a diamond ring as her cutie mark. "You should watch where you're going, you filthy ape." I watched the bitch pony walk away before continuing.

"Yeah. As I said before, most of these ponies are nice..." Ooooh she's so lucky Brianna's here... We had just arrived at the school. When sis saw the crusaders and Jonathan, she made a B-line straight for them after waving goodbye.

"Think about what I said, Xavier!" She yelled at me.

"Yeah, yeah..." Needless to say, I didn't think about it on my way back home. I ran into Jack and AJ on the way. They said they were gonna head to the park with AJ's dog Winona. I left them alone after a short conversation. I crossed paths with Twilight when I reached my house. She was headed to the park with her pet owl Louis (Jack told me it was easier than Owlowiscious, which frankly I agree). She told me that Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy will be taking their pets to the park as well. I wonder why everyone is taking their pets to the park today. I chuckled at that. Not because I found it funny, but because I thought about how things would be if our previous pet was still alive and taking it to a park. We had a goldfish named Aquatoar. It grew pretty large, about the size of my hand. We've had it for quite a while. Sadly it died three years ago. It went down to Sewer Express after a rather short memorial service. Still though, if it was still alive, I could imagine. Applejack and Winona playing frisbee, Fluttershy chasing Angel, Rarity watching Opal play with her cat toys, Gummy chewing on Pinkie with his gums, and Louis flying around. Meanwhile, Bro and I are just sitting there watching our fish just swim around or float in place. I imagine how Dash would react. She'd probably think we were lame.... Now that I think about it... Does she even have a pet? I thought about that for a while and realized how much time she spent here. Either she didn't have a pet, or she's been neglecting it. And honestly, Dashie never seemed like the neglectful type (other than when she was Discorded).

Although now that it was on my mind, I figured that it would be time to get a new house pet. I remember seeing Youtube videos about umbrella cockatoos. They're loud, they look funny, and I've seen enough cockatoo videos to know they love dubstep. I smirked at the thought of having a bird bobbing its head on my shoulder while going to one of Vinyl's rave parties. It wouldn't be so bad, owning a pet. I looked at the empty fish tank that has been sitting in the living room since our fish died. Wouldn't hurt to get another fish either. Maybe I should talk to Fluttershy about this next time I see her. I wasn't going to impede on their time. I felt like I was butting into their girl time a lot, so I figured I'd let them have today to have their girl time.

Atleast until I realized that Jack was with them. After a while of thinking, I had decided to go back out and check on the girls and my best friend at the park anyway. When I got there however, they were no longer there. I met up with AJ on the way back home and asked where her boyfriend was. She told me that he went over to Fluttershy's cottage with Dash so she could pick a pet. I met with them there and found Jack standing by himself, watching Fluttershy and Dash pick a pet for the later.

"Hey Jack."

"Sup?"

"Whatcha doin?"

"Watching Dash pick a pet."

I noticed they were singing while doing so, and now I started to wear the same expression he did. "Jesus fucking Christ... Does it really take all of this to just pick a goddamn animal to keep at home? For fucks sake..."

Jack nodded his head in agreement before shouting in an annoyed tone "PICK A GODDAMN PET PLEASE?!?"

After 4 minutes and 25 seconds of singing, Dash was leaving the cottage with her 'suitable candidates' which consisted of a falcon, a bald eagle, a bat, a butterfly (really Dash?), a duck, a toucan bird, a goose, flemengo, owl, a humming bird, a lady bug, and a... a...

"NO YOU FUCKING DON'T DASH, YOU BETTER LEAVE THAT WASP HERE!!!"

Fuck wasp...

We followed the rest of the contestants to the town square where they were lined up. Dash was wearing a whistle around her neck and a hat like she was a coach. What the hell is this? The girls were there too, watching and mumbling in excitement until Dash blew her whistle to quiet them. When Dash had every being's attention, she started.

"So! You all think you've got what it takes to be my pet, do ya? Well, we'll just see about that! If any of you don't think you can handle it, bow out now before you humiliate yourself in front of your peers." The lady bug that was lined up with the other animals had just dropped out in shame. "This competition isn't for the weak. You'd better be prepared to step up your game!"

While Dash was yelling at her candidates, I noticed Fluttershy wasn't with us anymore. When I returned my attention to the events, I saw her talking to a tortoise she was dragging to Dash.

"Seriously Fluttershy? The turtle? What did you bring that thing here for?" I raised an eyebrow. Seriously?

"Technically he's a tortoise, and he's always dreamed of being somepony's pet. He just wants a chance to compete, he won't get in the way." Flutters tried to convince Dash. "You won't even know he's here." Dash stared at the tortoise for a moment before giving her answer.

"No." Rainbow replied. Fuckin seriously?

"Oh just let him try."

"Ugh, but there's no wa-"

"DASH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! NOBODY'S GONNA DIE BY YOU GIVIN THE POOR TORTOISE A SHOT! I mean really.." I just had to throw that out there.

Dash looked at me in surprise, but it soon turned to a glare. I wasn't phased by it and she knew it, so she relented, turning to the tortoise. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. This isn't a game!"

"*cough*Yesitis*cough*"

"Xavier will you quit it?!" Dash yelled.

I'll quit it when you quit actin like a lil bitch.

"Xavier, I know Rainbow Dash is acting a bit mean right now, but aggravating her won't do either of you any good." Twilight warned.

"Sure. I'll try to keep my mouth shut, but with her acting this way, I won't make any promises." This wasn't like Rainbow Dash. I stayed silent throughout the entire thing. This was like the pet version of the Iron Pony Competition, but ran by a bitchy Dash. After each challenge, the poor tortoise was being taunted as he tried to impress Dash. She's real close to sleeping on her own tonight... Finally, Dash seemed to have had enough of the little guy.

"Listen Turtle..."

"Tortoise." Fluttershy corrected.

"Whatever.. You've had your fun, but I think you and I both know who made the cut and who didn't. You didn't. I mean, 'A' for effort, I'm sure they have a gold star around here somewhere you can have, but seriously, go home."

After hearing that, I couldn't take it anymore. I went up to her, I got down in front of her, and smiled. At first, Dash had a confused look. Atleast until-

"Dash, you're giving that tortoise the boot for the sole reason because it doesn't impress you enough because it's slow, quiet, and can't fly. Well, the little guy impresses me for still trying while putting up with your bullshit for even this long."

"Look. This tortoise isn't like the ones from your movies that uses swords and eat pizza! It's lame!"

"Yeah! You should be fucking lucky because if it was, you'd be picking your sorry ass off the ground right now!"

"Hey! I want a pet that's fast, cool and awesome just like me! Is that a bad thing?!"

"It is if you keep treating the animals like it's a fucking football tryout and putting them down when they aren't fucking perfect! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A SHALLOW HIGH SCHOOL BITCH!!!" Just like her...

Rainbow wanted to say something. I could tell by the way her mouth was opening. She couldn't say anything. Good.

"I'm surprised your little candidates are still here. If I were them, I would've left for Fluttershy's cottage, because I wouldn't wanna be a pet to anyone who treats their pets like you do." Before I left her there, I went to Fluttershy. "Let me know what 'pet' she picks after she's done acting like a fool."

I just left then and there. Twilight and Jack tried to call me, I wasn't really in the mood to hang around there anymore. The mood I was in wouldn't be described as pissed, or angry, but more like really really peeved. Not just because of her attitude, but one thing I noticed today was that Fluttershy's animals show emotion. They show more sentience than the pets on Earth. I man really, when a bat or a butterfly can smile or frown, I kinda see 'em a bit more than just critters. I guess I owe a certain wasp an apology.

The rest of the day went just as normal as usual. I had nothing else to do today but chill at home. The kids were back from school, but Hiroto went over to Twilight to help her with something. Later when I was in m room, I heard a tapping on the glass. I was still peeved at Rainbow, but I didn't expect to see a tortoise with a propeller attached to his shell. What the... Curious, I opened the window to let the lil guy in and Rainbow dashed in before I could even think to close it. Fluttershy came in behind her.

"Uh, hey Flutters. Dash..."

"Hey."

"Can I help the two of you?" I asked them suspiciously? "And why is the tortoise flying?"

Fluttershy answered for Dash. "She wanted a pet that could fly so she wouldn't have to be grounded all the time."

"So I got Twi and Hiroto to make Tank here, airborn. We thought it would take a week, but Hiroto's a bright kid. They made the tortoise able to fly in no time at all!"

I looked at the tortoise. "Tank?"

"Yeah! My new pet tortoise! Xavier, you were right. I have been acting like a jerk. What I thought was what I wanted in a pet, wasn't really what I wanted. Tank ended up saving my life during the race at Ghastly Gorge." As Dash explained to me everything that happened there, including the obstacles she put the other pets through, I couldn't help but glance at Fluttershy and how well she was taking this. I'd point out to Fluttershy that Dash put her animal friends in danger for a stupid competition, but I make and salvage friendships, not ruin them. She ended her story on how Tank saved her from being stuck at the bottom of the gorge, pinned by boulders. Not only did Tank patch her up somehow, but gave her a slow ride to the finish line. That really is impressive.

With that said, normally I would tell Dash to spend the night on the couch or at her own house, but I figured she'd been punished enough and ended up being saved by the very being that she continuously dissed. Hoods off to the turtle. When Fluttershy had left, it was just me, Dash, and her new pet in my room. Things were quiet for a moment until Dash broke the uncomfortable silence.

"So.. You're not still upset with me, are you?"

"Eh, usually I would be, but you seemed to have gotten what was coming to you, so I can't stay too mad. Tank would've had another owner if you didn't pick him. I would've named him Koopa." I scratched behind her ears.

She nuzzled me in return. "Heheh. I wish you would've told me that you planned on being his owner a lot sooner. We could've had two pets instead of one, you know."

Two pets... two pets....

Shit.. I forgot to ask Fluttershy about a new goldfish!

Author's Note

That's it for the new chapter. I can't say I'm completely satisfied with this chapter. In my opinion, this episode would've worked better as another recap, but that idea came to me when I was kinda half way done. Oh well, what's done is done.

I must apologize for the long long wait. Life has been throwing more and more things in my direction and I haven't really had much time to work on it or even post Fun Questions on my blog. But don't worry. I'm still determined to make more chapters for you guys.

With all of that said, please give a thumbs up if you liked it and leave a comment on what you thought of the chapter.

Next Chapter: Dash trolled by Mare Do Well

S2 Chapter 5: Rainbow Troll'd by Mare Do Well / Twilight trolled by Xavier

Season 2 Chapter 5: Troll'd by Mare Do Well

-Xavier's Recap-

It's been a week since Dash got her new pet, Tank. He's a pretty cool reptile. Sure, not the teen aged mutant ninja types that eats pizza, and certainly not the type that has two water cannons sticking out of its shell, but hey. He's fun to watch. I also managed to get Fluttershy to hook me up with a couple of goldfish to put in our empty fish tank. The mini aquarium had already been cleaned and everything was ready for our two new residents, and like Fluttershy's other animals, I noticed they too could make readable facial expressions, but barely. Why am I not surprised?

What happened last Friday was even more interesting than fish. I was requested at Sugarcube Corner for a job with putting together new furniture. Me being the cool and not-lazy guy I am, I went over there. I didn't know I was going to be spending most of my day there though. I was told that the Cakes were looking to install a minibar for whenever there's an adult-only get together. It was a simple four seat minibar, and it looked as if it was gonna be a thirty-minute job. When I was finished, I left for home, only to be stopped by Pinkie.

"Oh Egsy, I thought you said you were gonna put the mini bar together!"

"I did put it together. See for yourself."

When I got there, the entire mini bar was back to being pieces, like I never put it together. So, me being patient, I went ahead and spent another thirty minutes putting it together again. When I was done, I decided to go pee before leaving. When I left the restroom however, wouldn't you know it, I found myself back to square one with the minibar. Thirty minutes later, I had asked everyone to leave the building for a while, suspecting that someone was trying to be funny. I was staring at the complete minibar. Dash came in behind me.

"Hey X! Wanna hang out with me, Tank and Fluttershy?"

"Sure." I turned to her, which was the biggest mistake I made that day.

"Nevermind, I see you're busy." She said before leaving.

"What're you talking about? I was just...." I turned around and to my horror, the bar was in pieces... again. "FUUUUCK!!!" I didn't even hear it come apart!

Thirty minutes later, even after I had put it back together, this time, after staring at it for what seemed to be hours, it fell apart right infront of my face. I tried to put it back together, but each piece I connected or screwed on, fell apart. Like the screws disappeared and respawned in the box of screws. After giving out a scream of frustration, I gave up. Right when I did, I heard laughing. Pinkie and Dash were watching the entire thing. Worse, they were laughing at me. I just up and left Sugarcube Corner.

"Hahaha Xavier! I've never seen you lose it like that!"

"Yeah Egsy! You were like AWUAAAHWAAAAAAAAH!!!" Pinkie imitated.

I went home that day, ignoring both of them. I went straight to bed, being completely done with that Friday. I felt the need for revenge, but that time would come sooner than I expected.

-End of Recap-

(Monday 11/7)

I was woken up by a kiss from Dash. She's been very mushy with me ever since her and Pinkie's little prank. I hadn't talked to her much during the weekend, but I wasn't really mad. Sure, I was still going to get her back for it, but being honest, I loved the attention from her I was getting. I had already filled in Jack when he asked. He just told me to let him know how it turns out.

"Morning Monkeyboy."

"Hello Skittles."

Rainbow gave me a smile before nuzzling me. "You love me, right?"

"Dash if this is about the prank, I'm not really angry with you. Sure you caused me a bit of frustration that day, but hey. The prank is all in good fun, right?" I said, sitting up.

She wrapped her forelegs around my neck and gave me a passionate kiss. "I had a good feeling you'd understand, X."

Yeah... I understand that I'm gonna get you back.

"Anyway, I think I'm gonna check on Scoots and her fan club. Wanna come with?"

I raised an eyebrow, not really looking at her. "A fan club you say? Is it another human fan club? Because I think Lyra already started one. She's the only member."

"Nope. It's a fan club for fans of yours truly!" Dash said, pointing a proud hoof to her chest. "A Rainbow Dash fan club!"

That caught my attention. "If that's the case, why wasn't I told?"

"Huh?"

"Why wasn't I told? I think Rainbow Dash's biggest fan should've heard about this fan club."

Rainbow blushed, swatting towards me with her hoof. "Oh you... Well, if anyone knows how awesome and cool I am, it's definitely you, and you never needed a fan club to realize it."

I gave her another kiss as she once more had her forelegs wrapped around my neck. Hearing her moans of pleasure when I caressed her back and her wing joints made me never want to stop, and something told me she wouldn't have wanted me to either. Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on staying in bed all day. I had to get her off of me, but getting a Rainbow Dash off of you this early in the morning while she's well rested was a hard feat, so I gave up. I let her stay attached to me and ended up going to the bathroom to get freshened up for the day with her attached.

I followed Dash to where they were having the RDFC meeting. Well, I didn't really follow her. In fact, I carried her on my back. She insisted. They were having it in the Crusader's treehouse, hosted by none other than Scootaloo, and man was it actually a fan club. So many colts and fillies in one small house wearing rainbow wigs, flags with Rainbow Dash on it along with posters. I wonder how much it took to convince the other four to hold this little meeting of hers. Dash and I started eavesdropping.

"I motion that Rainbow Dash be declared 'The Most Awesome Pony in Ponyville!'" Scootaloo declared.

"I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word awesome in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Rainbow Dash." I heard another voice say. Heheh, kids really do say the darnest things.

"I object! I think the word awesome is played out! Rainbow Dash deserves better!" Said yet another voice. As they were discussing what word to use to describe Rainbow Dash, the mare in question decided to anonymously chip in.

"What about 'Super Ultra Extreme Awesomazing?'"

The fillies and colts agreed and went with it.

I couldn't help but to flick Rainbow's ears as she giggled.

Walking away from the treehouse, Dash flew infront of me. "So watcha think? It's awesome right?"

"I guess, if you love being worshiped by kids. Just be sure to be a good role model for 'em, okay?"

"Gee, you're starting to sound like your brother. How am I not a good role model? You heard them in there."

"Yeah I did." I admitted, ruffling her mane a bit. She giggled, flying behind me and wrapped her forelegs around my neck. I carried her all the way back to town before she let go.

"I think I'm gonna go catch some clouds."

"Sure. I'm probably gonna go check on the others anyway, seeing as I don't have any jobs to do today."

She flew up to my face, kissed me, and flew to the skies. "Later X!"

I chose to go to Sugarcube Corner to pick up more granola bars. I remembered we were starting to run low. I found Twilight, AJ, and Fluttershy there helping Pinkie with something.

"Hey girls. What're you all doing here?"

"Howdy Xavier! We were just helpin' out Pinkie with her new recipe."

"And all of you are here to help her with whatever it is she's making?"

"Yup. And I'm here as the human taste test." Said a voice from across the room. I turned to see who it was to see my best friend Jack. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Whenever they aren't busy with work, you won't find them too far from each other. I walked over to him and did our little handshake, something the other ponies never got the gist of.

"I'm all doooone~!" Pinkie had came out with a basket of six granola bars. Two had dehydrated chopped berries, two had dehydrated chopped apples, and two had both dehydrated berries and apples chopped up. Three were each given to me and Jack.

"Thanks Pinks." Jack said.

"Why did you bake two of each instead of just one?" I asked.

"Because, silly, my Pinkie Sense told me that you-"

"Okay yeah yeah... Pinkie Sense explains everything." I interrupted. I first tried out the ones with the dehydrated berries first while Jack tried out the one with the dehydrated apples. The girls were looking at us with anxious expressions on their faces. I tasted it, and I was satisfied.

"Well?" The girls asked in unison

"Out of 10, I would give it a.."

"Give it a..."

"10 out of 10!" Jack said, now half way through with eating his final bar.

"I'd give it a 20." I told him.

"Well Ah'm glad ya'll like 'em." Applejack said, moving over towards Jack. In response, he gave AJ a peck on her lips. I looked down at my two remaining bars. I could see AJ from the corner of my eye looking at me impatiently. "Well? Aren't ya gonna try it?"

I thought for a moment before giving her an answer. "Nah, not right now anyway. I think I'll savor it another time."

"Relax Applejack. The granola bars will last a while, and I'm sure he'll eat it before it even begins to spoil. Right Xavier?" Twilight was looking at me.

"Most likely." I had the urge to stall just to troll them a little, but I thought better of it. "Pinkie, got any snack bags I can put these in? Or just wrap them up."

"Okiedokie loki!" Pinkie nabbed the bars and dashed back to the kitchen and came back with both of them plastic wrapped.

"Thanks."

We left Sugarcube Corner a little while later. The four of us were walking to the park to hang out. I had the bars in my hoodie pocket. Things were peaceful until we heard a cry for help coming from a nearby well.

"HEEEELP!! HEEEELP!!!"

Before I could do anything however, Dash had went into the dark well and came back out with a lavender filly with a mint green mane and tail. By this time, there was a crowd drawing near. As Dash landed, the filly jumped off and the crowd, me included, cheered for her.

"Wow.. What's with the crowd? Uh.. Thanks everypony." She said. "It was really no big deal."

I walked up to her from behind and picked her up hugging her. "No big deal my foot! You flew in there and rescued a little filly! Yeah, that's a pretty big deal! You're practically a heroine!"

When I put my fillyfriend down, the filly she rescued walked up to her. "Thank you! You're my hero!"

"Heheh, no problem kiddo."

I ruffled Rainbow's mane. "How about I take the heroine out for lunch? On me."

"Sure. I'll never say no to a free meal."

Jack felt like making a joke about what I just said. "Are you on-"

"No Jack, that kind of heroine doesn't exist in this world!" Seriously...

My date with Dash was going rather swimmingly to say the least. We went to her favorite place, The Hay Burger, for lunch. Now we were headed to the flower shop to get her some flowers. One thing I couldn't help but notice was that Rainbow Dash was starting to become the talk of the town. She's received a lot of fans since she saved that little filly, and unfortunately for me, admirers. They kept their distance from us however. She wasn't really interested, and I wasn't gonna have it.

"So Dash, it seems like the entire town is revolving around you today."

"I know. Isn't it awesome?" She squeeled, landing on my back.

"Yeah. Kids are even making up 'facts' about you. Heh, I think you've become Ponyville's Chuck Norris."

Rainbow quizzically looked at me. "I dunno who Chuck Norris is, but he sounds super cool."

"So what flowers do you want again?"

Before Rainbow Dash could answer, she heard yet another scream. Everyone had turned their heads to the general direction of the scream. We didn't see much of anything at first until a baby stroller came into view over a hill at a speed that could give anyone or pony a whiplash. Of course, Dash sprang into action and caught up to the stroller and stopped it right before it went off a cliff that looked like Jack and I would have to ride off of in case we feel like doing something dumb and dangerous like a couple of jackasses.

When she caught it, everyone cheered. Even her friends were there when she saved the foal inside. She was a graceful hero, up until what happened next.

"Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!" This got everyone to stop cheering, wondering what she was talking about. Dash pulled out a perfectly fine baby. "She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!" I raised an eyebrow, dawning a smirk. You showoff. As everyone cheered, I saw cameras taking pictures of her. Rainbow went on to pose for them after returning the foal to its mother and took off, but not before leaving a shape of her cutie mark in the clouds. I saw Jack and the other girls nearby and went over to where they were.

"She did it again, right?"

Jack looked away. "Yeah yeah, your girl's a super hero now. Whatever." He acts like I'm bragging about it

"No, but she is kinda awesome." I heard Twilight say.

Now that Dash is gone, I guess the date is over. Guess she doesn't want her dessert after all. I looked at the flower shop we were gonna go to. I then looked at my other fillyfriend. "Hey Twi. Wanna flower to snack on?"

Once again, I found myself at Sugarcube Corner. After Dash saved the foal, I was going to hang out with the girls a bit, but one of the Cakes personally asked me to help with a little plumbing issue they had with their sink so I went there and got to work. Mr. Cake was monitoring my progress when I found out that the problem was. It was clogged from leftovers.

"I uh, suppose you don't have garbage disposal units in Equestria?"

"A garbage disposal? I don't think we've ever heard of those, Mr. Roberts. Usually when this happens, ponies have their entire sinks replaced. It's pretty costly. It was my wife's idea to see if you could come over and fix it instead."

"Smart lady." I commented as I emptied the leftovers from the trap into a bucket, unclogging it.

"Yeah. You saved us a lot of bits. Would you like anything? Say a dozen cupcakes to take back home with you? I'm sure your little sister'll enjoy them." Or help Jonathan get into another sugar rush.

"Yeah, maybe later. Wouldn't know where to put 'em. Just give them to Pinkie. She'd appreciate sweets more than I would."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

When I finished the job, I was about to leave until the girls, Spike and Jack were in the store, along with paparazzi and fans blocking my exit. Rainbow was talking about herself in front of her fans with Spike acting as her chronicler. I sat next to Jack at a table.

"Is it me, or did your girl's head grow three sizes today?" He asked.

"I wouldn't say her head's gotten bigger, more like her ego." Pinkie said, completely missing the joke.

Applejack deadpanned at Pinkie. "Ah think that was one of them human figures of speeches or references they make all the time."

"Yup."

Yeah, now that I think of it, I think Dash is having too much fun with the attention she's getting.

Speak of the devil, Dash pulled me into a little headlock. "Hey X! How does it feel to be immortalized as my boyfriend?"

If I didn't know any better, I'd say about the same as being 'immortalized' by being an alien. I looked at Jack for help, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Dash went back to her crowd of cameras and fans. Yeah, Diva Dash is starting to get pretty annoying...

"Being a hero takes guts, but it also takes brains, and sometimes a big lunch and a nap. Being a hero isn't for everypony, but I'm up for the challenge."

I started to get an idea. I looked at Jack and he was having the same look. I think it's about time we do something about her over-inflated ego. We both had a grin that would put The Grinch to shame. And to get back at her for last week.

The girls (excluding Dash) and I met at Carousel Boutique as Jack requested. Jack's idea was to upstage Dash in her heroic acts. Quite frankly it was better than my idea which was to have her save a fake pony (A dummy filled with fertilizer) and have her smelling for days, so we went with his. The problem was that we had to make sure that Rainbow wouldn't guess it was her friends behind the plan, and we didn't have a hero.

"Well, that's part of the idea. There can be multiple heroes wearing the same costume that would cover their identities. Girls? How would you like to play hero?"

"No thank you, my dear. All of that hero stuff sounds like sweaty work, and I don't think my complexion would be able to handle it." Rarity complained. Of course..

"I thought you would say that, but how would you feel about making stylish hero costumes for each of them? And they have to look the same and hide their features like their horns and wings. Rainbow has to believe that they're the same pony." Jack continued.

"Now that sounds like something I can do."

"Great!" He clapped his hands together. "You go get started!"

I raised my hand. "What can I do to help out?"

Pinkie zipped up to me. "Ooh! I know how you can help! And to help you get back at Dashie for the prank last week!" Wait... how did she...

As the rest of the girls discussed their plans, Rarity soon finished with the costumes. They all looked identical. Each outfit had a hat and cloak to hide the features or lack of. I don't know when Jack became this clever, but he must've been hanging around a crowd that I didn't know about. I just hope I don't end up being on Jack's to-prank list. As for Twilight's enchantment, she used her magic to enchant the outfits and told the girls to use their 'will' to summon their uniform. Twilight must've went into my dad's boxes of comics.

After we've finished discussed our plans, the girls had their outfits and most of them went their separate ways. Twilight and I were together. We were heading to the park. It was silent until...

"You found my dad's comics didn't you?"

"Again with this? No! I got the idea from one of Spike's comics. I think her name was Radiance or something." Touche'.

Before I could say anything, my thoughts were interrupted by screaming. I looked up to see a pony falling from a hot air balloon. Looking closer, it was none other than Cherry Berry, one of the servers at the slushy place. Guess who I spotted nearby. If you guessed Rainbow Dash, you're correct. She was over there signing autographs. One of her fans tried to get her attention but she wanted to finish her autographs first apparently. That strengthened my resolve to go through with this prank. It wasn't until she finished did she finally decide to rescue the falling slushy mare. I lowered my shaking head and chuckled when I saw one of the others save her instead. Even I couldn't tell which of the girls it was. I wanted to ask whoever it was to find out, but I doubt that would go well with Jack's idea. No, I wanted to milk this for what it was worth and keep with the plan. The crowd was eating it up.

"Holy Turnips! That pony came out of nowhere!"

"I've never seen such bravery in my life!"

We didn't even need to come up with a name. The mayor already did, and dubbed the hero "The Mysterious Mare Do Well." Rainbow wasn't too happy with her removal from the spotlight. She made some clever pun of the newcomer's given name. Twilight and I looked at each other with satisfied smiles.

It's been hours since I witnessed Rainbow's upstaging. Twilight had long since went her own way. I was called in by somepony to help with construction work. Why didn't they call Jeff? Basically I was supervising and helping out whenever I could. Things were going pretty well until one of the cranes started acting up. Of course this would happen. The stallion that was working it kept messing with it.

"Hey moron! Fuckin moron! Stop messin around! Someone's gonna get hurt!" I yelled.

"I can't help it! The darned controls are jammed!" He yelled back. Just then, he 'unjammed' the controls alright. One of the levers ended up outside of the crane. The steel beam flew towards and hit the structure that the other workers and I were near.

"Son of a bitch!"

The timing couldn't be more perfect! Rainbow Dash just flew in. "Never fear! Rainbow Dash is-" Oh for fuck's sake...

"RAINBOW CUT THE SHIT AND HELP US!!!" I screamed at her as I began playing bullet hell with the falling debris. I might as well have been being attacked by Flandre Scarlet. When Rainbow saw me, her eyes grew twice in size.

"XAVIER!"

Somepony else got to me before she did however. The known Mysterious Mare Do Well ~~swept me off of my feet~~ tackled me out of the way of danger. I couldn't help but imagine she smelled like cotton candy and cupcakes. After calming down a bit, I whispered in Mare Do Well's ear. "Thanks Pinkie." Before she could respond, she set me down and went back to helping others. Rainbow was hovering there, staring in my general direction as Mare Do Well saved everyone else, including her who almost got maimed by a steel beam when Mare Do Well got to her.

As the guys and I cheered, Rainbow's face grew from shocked to angry. She was upstaged again, but also in front of her boyfriend. "That's the third time today!!!" Third? "I can't believe she beat me again!"

"Rainbow, calm down."

"Don't you 'Rainbow calm down' me, Monkey boy! You could've unmasked her right then and there and messed her up! Who's side are you even on?!"

"Frankly, I'm on the side of the one that saved my life instead of trying to look good in front of everyone, and messing her up would've meant that someone would get hurt or even killed, Rainbow."

"Look, Xavier. Stay. Away. From. Her. Okay?" She told me.

"Why should I? She saved my life, Rainbow. I owe her one."

She let out a frustrated grunt and flew off.

After my life was saved, the construction site was a mess, and everyone working on the building took the rest of the time off after almost being killed. I had made note that since Pinkie saved my life, I wasn't going to get her back for being an accomplice of Rainbow's prank. Even though I was alright, still, I wanted to be away from everyone else to comprehend what had just happened, so I decided to go home and lie down. I needed to. So I went up to my room and went to bed early today. I wanted to get a good rest, but it wasn't going to happen however.

"Hey X.." I heard from above me. I opened my eyes and saw Rainbow hovering over my bed. "I'm... sorry I got mad at you earlier, but I really need your help!"

"Shoot."

"I need you to witness me!"

"Should I get the silver spray paint can?" Even though he wasn't there, it was if I could hear Jack laughing.

She lowered her brows at me. "What does that have to with-... No! I need you to see me when I help fix a leak in the Ponyville Dam! Please? Everypony will listen to you."

I let out a silent sigh. "Fine..."

"Thanks X!" She gave me a peck before grabbing me and flying out the window. I never did expect to be pulled out of my window like that, like, ever.

"JESUS DASH!"

She had flown me all the way over to the dam, so bent on having me witness her good deed. There was indeed a hole with water leaking out of it.

"Watch closely."

She flew down to the dam, looked around and placed a hoof over the leak. The leak stopped for a moment.

"See?! I did it, X!" she cheered.

"No you didn't. What happens when you gotta eat, huh? Or when you need to feed Tank? Can't stay there forever, Dash."

She shot me a disgruntled look. "Stop being right all the time!" She yelled, crossing both of her forelegs. "It's annoying!" Is it me or is the crack getting bigger? SHIT!

"DASH LOOK OUT! THE DAM IS GONNA-" It was too late. The dam had broke in the center and not only was it flooding, but it was also carrying Rainbow. "..burst..."

"HELP!!!"

I took off my hoodie, t-shirt and jeans and dove in after her. I was the only one there, and even if another pony was there to help her, it's already been established earlier this year that humans were better swimmers with our flat feet compared to their hooves. That and as a kid, I've had swimming lessons too. I was dubbed 'the kid who swims like a jellyfish/squid/octopus.' When I reached Rainbow, I surfaced myself.

"Rainbow! On my back! Now!"

She climbed on and I tried to swim against he rapids. It was a losing battle, but I sure was gonna try anyway. I thought we were done for until Rainbow wrapped her hind legs around my waist and we stopped. I looked up and saw Rainbow holding on to a log. On the other end of it was The Mysterious Mare Do Well.

"You?! I suppose you want me to thank-" Before Rainbow could finish, nearby rocks, stones and boulders started floating in familiar pinkish-violet-purplish aura. They were all floating towards the dam and fusing themselves with its remains. I knew who it was, and she was repairing the dam. When she was done, I noticed while Dash was staring at the dam in awe, 'Mare Do Well' was staring at me. That's when I realized that I was for the first time, almost completely naked around Twilight, or any pony for that matter. If I were around other human beings, I wouldn't be self conscious at all. I guess they did see Jeff, Jonathan and Hiroto shirtless though.

Because I was so deep in thought, I wasn't expecting a hug from ~~Twilight~~ Mare Do Well. She was on her hindlegs with her forelegs wrapped around me. I shrugged my shoulders and kissed where her mask where her lips would be. Unfortunately, Dash had sense then snapped out of it and had her attention on us at the time. I know, because I held it long enough.

"Y-YOU!!! YOU!!!" Dash was seething. By then, Mare Do Well had ran off. I didn't notice a crowd cheering for her as she did so. Then she flew over our heads (I knew that one was Fluttershy. Hello! Only one of the group with wings!), further confusing and enraging the prism-maned mare. I could see the look of rage on her face. Payback's a bitch ain't it, Dash? I was smug until she she looked at me with the eyes of a pissed off mare. "HOW COULD YOU?!? YOU!!! YOU!!!" She took a deep breath. "No. You know what?! Once I out-do Mysterious Whorse-Do-Swell, I'm gonna be big again! Then you'll see! You'll regret ever doing what you just did!" She flew off, nearly kicking dirt in my eyes. Did I maybe take things a bit too far?

Walking out of the area, I picked up my clothes, put them back on, and then I ran into an undisguised Twilight who was flushed red and glaring at me. Maybe I did take things too far...

"What were you thinking?!? You risked the entire plan with that stunt!"

Or not...

"Well, you were the one who had your hooves on me." I said, smugly when I saw her head flush more.

"T-that's different! I thought you were going to die out there, a-and I was just uh.. happy to see you not hurt?"

"Yeah, bare skin is more sensitive to the touch than whenever i'm wearing my t-shirt. I could feel your hooves caressing my sides." I chuckled. "Did Pinkie tell you against my plan to get back at Rainbow too?"

I could see her looking around like Liarjack. "Maybe?"

We shortly arrived back at Sugarcube Corner. Twilight was with her friends to discuss what was next. While they were doing so, I placed my head on the table, not even paying attention to a pissed off Dash walking in and giving me the glare. This day was beginning to take its toll on me. Jack sat down across of me.

"Hey."

"Yo." I mumbled.

"Ya sound tired dude."

"Well, besides nearly following Dash almost everywhere today and almost getting crushed by a falling building today, and jumping in after a drowning Rainbow Dash, my day's been pretty chill, right?"

"Wow. You have been busy. Don't worry. You'll pull through this, man."

"Sure."

"Ehem!" I rolled my head in the direction of the obvious voice. "Being angry at you won't work if you're not even paying attention to me you know." I just waved at her. Fortunately her attention was drawn away by something Applejack and Fluttershy said. I didn't catch it, but it got her to leave me alone for a bit.

"What was that about?"

"I kissed The Mysterious Mare Do Well in front of Rainbow just to get back at her for her prank last week. She doesn't know it was Twilight."

"That's so fuckin wrong and so hilarious at the same time." Jack said, holding back stifled laughter.

"It was actually Pinkie's suggestion."

"Are you gonna get her back too?" He asked. I placed a hand on my chin and thought about it.

"Nah. She saved my life when she was Mare Do Well, so I can let her slide." I told him over the laughter of the other ponies.

"Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good... no, that I'm a better hero than Mare Do Well!" Dash yelled, fed up before she flew out the door. She gave me a bitter look when she passed me.

"You sure she's gonna be cool with you now?"

"What? I didn't break any rules. Twilight's in my herd too."

Said unicorn walked over to our table. "Hey Xavier. I was wondering if later on we can go by the park and spend time with each other."

"I don't see why not." I looked at Jack. "Wanna come with?"

"I'll be a third wheel another time."

"Eeyup. That there cowboy got a mare of his own." AJ said from across the room.

"Well why don't we all join you two darlings?" Rarity asked. "Today's been a rather busy day for all of us. Some rest and relaxation at the park sounds like a wonderful idea!"

The remaining girls agreed, so we each made our way to the park. Funny thing, on the way there, I saw Rainbow trying to 'help' (more like force) Granny Smith cross to the other side of the road against her own will. I wonder how that'll turn out. Twilight was walking as close to me as AJ was to Jack, the only difference being Twi seemingly not noticing, having her focus on her notes or whatever she was writing on, I guess she was trusting me to keep her from running into things. I grinned as she wasn't going to get the protection she assumed I was going to give her and lead her into a few stands, buildings and other ponies.

"Xavier!"

"Yes, Twilibel?"

"Twile-what?" She shook her head. "Whatever, can you please not run me into everything and everyone we pass please?!"

"Love ya too, Twi." I don't know why, but picking on Twi entertains me.

"Ugh!" Twilight groaned. She ended up walking behind me instead. Bad idea Twilight. On multiple occasions I stopped right in front of her causing her to bump into me. Her horn was a little bit of an issue but it was well worth annoying her. She stompd her hoof. "Xavier! Quit it!" I could hear Jack snickering. "And Jack, stop encouraging him! You two act like foals sometimes." I couldn't help it anymore. I picked up the adorkable mare, forcing her to drop her things and hugged her tight. "What the- HEY!! What're you doing?!"

"Sorry Twi, I just love pickin on ya because you're so damn adorkable and I love ya."

Twilight sighed and let me carry her the rest of the way to the park. We hung out for a while. Fluttershy had conversations with the birds. Jack and AJ were napping under a tree together. I took a few pics of them and swapped their faces and showed it to Pinkie and Twilight. Pinkie had a laughter explosion while Twilight smirked and rolled her eyes. Fluttershy had her animal friends keeping her company. I spotted Rainbow nearby harassing a mare and her daughter. I went over to them while Dash was trying to open up a jar with her teeth. The mare used her magic to loosen it for her. I smirked and shook my head. She's really grasping at straws.

After a while, there was a stage set up in the park with ponies gathered. Twi, AJ, Jack and I checked out what it was. It was a celebration of Ponyville's newest heroine, Mare Do Well. Mayor Mare gave out an announcement.

"Welcome to Ponyville's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the mysterious Mare Do Well!"

Mare Do Well came out and did her dramatic pose as everyone cheered. The only one that wasn't cheering was me, Jack, and Rainbow Dash. She flew up to the mare in costume and whispered something before trying to unmask her with her teeth. It ended up being a chase. I looked to where the others were, but they were gone, only leaving Jack and I to follow my crazy filly friend. When we followed her, all of the Mare Do Wells were playing Benny Hill with Rainbow, who was running everywhere. Soon enough, she caught one of them and unmasked Pinkie.

"A-HA! I have you now!....wait.. Pinkie?!?"

"Heehee. Hiya Dashie!" Pinkie said sheepishly from below her.

The others were standing there with their costumes on except for Rarity.

"T-There are three more of you?!"

"Wrongo, Skittles." I told her as I unmasked the others. "They were playing Mare Do Well at different times."

"Ah stopped the carriage with Buck Lee and Hoof Willis" AJ said, kicking the air with her hind legs. I shot a look at Jack as he was snickering.

"I saved the construction workers and Xavier with my Pinkie Sense."

"Which is why I won't be pranking her for being your accomplice."

Pinkie appeared behind me. "How did you know it was me anyway? Do you have x-ray vision?"

"You smelled of cotton candy and the cupcakes I told Mr. Cake to give you."

Pinkie gave me a squeezing hug. "Thanks Egsy!"

I gave Dash a sly smirk. "I think you know who repaired the dam."

Dash glared at me. "Yeah! What gives?!" She turned to her friends. "Who was locking lips with my boyfriend?!"

"Who else in this group has violet purple glowing aura covering things whenever she uses magic?" I deadpanned

"And I did the fly by afterwards."

"Oh... B-but... why? Don't you want me to be a hero?" Rainbow asked.

"You bein' a hero and all ain't a bad thing, but uh, you were kinda actin like a guy with a Ferrari in a bad neighborhood."

Everyone looked at Jack.

"Ah don't know what a Ferrari is, but real heroes don't brag."

"I guess I did start to brag a little." I gave Dash a light slap on the back of her head. "Ow! Hey! Okay fine! I guess I was going over the top with bragging."

Everypony agreed.

Jack and I decided to leave when Rainbow started writing her letter to Celly. I was just going to go home and hit the sack, or at least take a nap since the evening was still young. That's precisely what I did when I got there. The Crusaders were watching Ninjago while Bro had Vinyl over. Jack and Jeff went somewhere, didn't really care to listen in. I just waved and went straight to my room. I jumped face first on my pillow and transferred from Ponyville to Snoozeville.

I never did wake back up that day.

Author's Note

Thats it for Chapter 5 of Season 2. It's been quite a while since I uploaded a story, but you know, college and other real life things. Nothing more needs to be said (I don't think.)

There was much more I was going to do with this chapter, but I ended up cutting it out because it wouldn't fit well with the story line. I wanted to add a little extra with Xavier waking up to a surprise, but felt that part would be saved for later. I've also been working on a script for something that happens at the end of season 2. Things have been coming to my mind about the fiction and I didn't want to let slip, and that was one of them. I think you all will like what I have planned there.

Anyway, leave a thumbs up if you like the story and leave a comment on what you liked about this chapter. I love me some comments! :rainbowwild:

Next Chapter: The Return to Canterlot with a Vengence

S2 Chapter 6: Spikezilla

Season 2 Chapter 6: Spikezilla

-Xavier's Recap-

Well, the Mare Do Well prank was a success. Twilight kept insisting that it was a plan to teach Rainbow a lesson, but I still say that it was a prank Rainbow well deserved. Rainbow didn't talk to me for a couple of days after The Prankening. She still wasn't open for forgiving me for kissing her nemesis rival hero in front of her even though she knew it was Twilight, and the fact that the Mare Do Wells put their costumes away for good. Sometimes she gave me the silent treatment, other times she made it rain. In return, I gave her the finger. I mean it was just a prank! I didn't even go too far with it! Damn! Pinkie, being the dear that she is, had us meet up on a Saturday night when she knew what was going on between us. It was then mutually decided that the three of us will not prank each other (or Fluttershy), but everyone else. After that, Rainbow apologized for her recent behavior, saying "I guess it was kind've silly to hold a grudge over a prank." You're damn right you were!I mean, I didn't hold a grudge over your prank! I just took the opportunity to get you back! At least she wasn't pissed off at me anymore by Thanksgiving.

The next month, Christmas came. This time, it was only those with hands around the house. The girls went to Canterlot with the pony members of the CMC(G) for some Hearths Warming play. I didn't even have Twilight this time. While they were gone, Brianna and I made trips to Fluttershy's cottage to feed her non-hibernating animals while she was gone. That's all there was to it. I missed my two girls. No matter how long we've been together, it still feels weird even thinking that statement. Two girls. I was also hoping they'd be back for my birthday, but looks like that didn't happen. I'm sure they each have family to visit. Well, besides Applejack. They came back shortly before Winter Wrap-up, and I didn't really mention anything about it. I'm not that kind of guy.

It wasn't all bad though. Luna and I have been hanging out in my head. She's gotten quite used to walking around on two legs in her anthromorphic form, which was fun to watch considering she made herself taller than I was, like she was a tall curvy Amazonian or something. She thinks she's Wonder Woman. She said that it "Fit her role as the powerful ruler of the night and the bearer of the moon." which I guess makes sense with her being a moon goddess and all. The first time she changed into her form, she had noticed that I had a hard time gaining enough concentration to form clothes over her naked curvy form, so she gave herself armor. Once again, I may be a furry. Since then, almost every dream she's invited herself in my dreams (We've actually gotten pretty close. She's always invited), she's been picking on me, even going as far to change into various body shapes. Regardless of what's going on in my head, she finds an opportunity to mess with me.

-End of Recap-

I stand ready at the top of a snowy summit. I looked down at a steep hill, the breeze blowing gently past my snow jacket. I looked to the side at my competitor, who was dawning a dark blue snow jacket and pants. She looked quite nervous by the way she was looking down through her goggles. I couldn't help but to give a slight chuckle.

"Art thou sure this is safe?"

"Is the Mighty Moon Goddess afraid of heights now?" I taunted. I figured it was about time for me to be the one doing the messing with. "We can do a smaller hill first if you want."

"Hold thy tongue, human!" Luna demanded. She stuck her snout in the air. "We do not fear of heights! We are... Just concerned for thou safety! Yes, that's all."

I deadpanned at her, seeing through her bullshit while giving her the 'Really n*gga?' look. "This is only a dream to me. The worst that can happen to me is me waking up."

"We have never been snowboarding before."

"Yeah, I was pretty nervous on my first hill. Jack changed that though. Wanna know what he did?" I asked.

"Pray tell."

"First, he said 'keep your eyes forward'," Luna did as instructed. "and don't scream too loud."

I shoved Luna off of the edge. Til this day, I never ever heard Moonbutt squeal like Pinkie. I went on after her. Luckily I made a treeless summit to go down. She was surprisingly staying on her board. Sure she was flailing her arms around to keep her balance, but that just meant I could catch up. I zipped past her, waving. Her expression turned from fearful to anger.

"Thou will pay for this!" She yelled.

"If you can catch up to me first!"

She tried to use her magic, but that would be cheating, so I 'cancelled it'. I could do that, it being my dream and all. I made it so that if she was to have her payback, she'd have to beat me in a race to the bottom. She copied my boarding position and calmed down. By then I was already miles ahead of her. She squatted down lower and started speeding up. Before I knew it, she was about 15 yards behind me and closing the distance.

Clever girl...

I got down lower to put more weight on my board and accelerated. It wasn't enough though.

"Hello Xavier. Come, take a gander." I heard beside me. That was my biggest mistake. Luna, sporting a devious grin, had her jacker unzipped and her shirt and bra lifted, exposing her large breasts. I kid you not, this mare could be a fucking super-supermodel with those curves. Her toned stomach, those boobs bouncing slightly as her board carried her ahea-

During my distraction, I had hit a hill the wrong way and lost my balance. Now it was my turn to be the one flailing my arms around to keep balance. The only difference would be the results. Whereas Luna had regained her balance, unfortunately I did not. I had fallen flat on my face as my fingertips were inches from the finish line. After a moment of recuperating, I looked up and saw a pair of hooves on the other side. Luna was staring down at me with a smug look.

"Looks like we have bested thou at his own game." Luna laughed. "Thou hast just the cutest reactions to thou kinds' teats."

"That was a cheap trick." I growled through my teeth.

"We know, but we couldn't help ourselves! Your reactions are priceless!" She continued laughing. I stood up, dusting the snow off. She calmed down, smiled, and leaned in close to my ear. "And consider that payback for pushing us."

"Yeah yeah. Can't really stay mad at you though."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow, still wearing that playful smile.

"Well, you do have a certain charm that brings out your adorability."

She giggled. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Xavier."

I turned and started thinking. That and she's pretty fuckin sexy as a human and has an adorkably cute personality, and if not for the fear of Nightmare Moon, she'd probably have so many ponies after her, it'd put Celly to shame. I wasn't aware of Luna staring at me, or her ceased laughter. Her face was completely flushed. "What? What's wrong?"

"Doest thou truely mean that?" she asked.

"First of all, you really need to practice present speak. Two, mean what? About your charm? Yeah."

"Nay, about us being... sexually attractive and about our personality."

Did I say anything about her- Then it hit me. We're having fun in my head. I was thinking hard about her 'qualities'. Deargodsheheardmythoughts... ...HOLY CRAP I CAN HEAR MY THOUGHTS!!

We both stood there, staring at each other. "We suppose we should've warned you that thinking hard in a dream is like thinking out loud in the waking world." She smiled lightly at me. "We've never heard anypony think or say anything like that before."

That was meant to stay in my head...

"We really appreciate the thought." She said, giggling. She was still blushing.

Son of a- "Yeah, waking up now."

I woke up pretty early, the last thing I heard in that dream being giggling. I looked at the clock. I regretted it because it was way too early. The sun hadn't even risen yet. However, remembering the awkward moment that had just passed, I think I can deal with it just this once. Note to self, never think too hard while someone else is in my dreams. I mean, I might as well had confessed to her. I don't know how many girlfriends I'm allowed to have here, but I don't know if Rainbow would allow too many girls to share with. I already have my sis shipping me with Fluttershy, and I think Rarity is coming on to me. Although it's hard to tell because she'd flirt with any guy to get what she wants. I'd rather not complicate things with royalty.

-3rd Person POV-

(Saturday 11/26)

In the royal castle in Canterlot, Luna awoke from her slumber about the same time Xavier did. Remembering his words put a feint blush on her face as she giggled about her newest crush. As much as she would like to revel on about him, it was about time for her to lower the moon. Letting out a sigh, she got out of her bed, took care of her routine and made her way to the top of her tower to lower the moon. She made eye contact with Celestia after she raised the sun. She made quite the effort to shove Xavier out of her mind knowing that although she may appear serene and mature, like herself she has a mischievous side. She would be picking on Luna about her crush on the human for years to come.

Making her way to the royal dining room for breakfast, being escorted by a couple of her night guards, she wore a light smile. One of the guards, Fangsworth, noticed she looked happier than usual, but made no statements. The princess went through the doors as the guards waited outside, only to see Celestia sitting at the end of the table staring at her with a devious smirk.

"So, Lulu. Who is this lucky stallion?"

Ponyfeathers

-Xavier's POV-

After my morning routine and breakfast, I checked for whatever mundane work needed to be done. I see Berry Punch finally has enough to ask us to have her thatch roof replaced with shingles now. I remembered talking with her at her bar a few weeks ago. She kept saying that rain water kept seeping through the thatch and it was getting on her last nerves. So far, only a quarter of Ponyville converted to shingles. Either way, I got Jack to come with me. The more guys on the job, the faster it'll get done. Split the earnings 50/50.

"Hey uh Xavier."

"Yo Jack."

"Ya never said anything about, you know..."

"I'm not gonna bug them about it. That day went relatively well." I know he was talking about my birthday. Him, Brianna, and even Jeff were kind've asking about it since, but that was about a month ago. I'm long over it. They didn't show for good reasons. At least my fellow humans were there, family, best friend and his bros, Jeff, we had a ball. That's all that matters.

"Hey X. You're making that face again." Jack told me.

Fuck..

After gathering the needed materials, Jack and I arrived in front of the right home. After greeting Berry Punch, we got right to work. First step, take the thatch roof off. I've always wondered how they made the thatch so stable on the buildings, but it turns out the thatch were made on two wooden platforms angled to cover the entire house, which made things easier for us because that was one less material to lug around. After we were done taking the thatch off of the roof, Jack and I took a break. He was talking to me about something that happened a few weeks ago.

"Heh, get this! AJ screamed out loud 'who ate muh darn piece of apple pie?!' and Big Mac turned his head, looking at us with his face stuffed!" We were both laughing. "Oh man was she piiiiissed!"

"Yeah I can imagine she was." I replied. "She told me she was looking forward to enjoying it."

"Haha! Yeah man, boy is Big Mac lucky Apple Bloom was there. He'd probably be a sandwich by now."

"Careful, Jack, ya might spook the neighbors with all this meat eating talk." I jokingly warned. To be truthful, most of Ponyville knew of the human diet, and that we've eaten cows, pigs, chickens, basically any animal. Of course Hiroto had to explain everything to them like the lovable nerd he is, but most of them understood and their opinions didn't change much. Sure there are a few that still to this day calls us monsters, but we hardly ever cross paths with hardly anyone. The only ponies that we see often that hates us would be one of my sister's classmates and his mom. Button Mash was it? I made a joke to her about it saying "Who cares? Button mashers are cheap cheats and are no friend of ours." Seriously button mashers, stop being cheap lazy fucks and use combos. You get more friends that way. Then there's Diamond Tiara's mom. She's an entire different story, which we'll get to later.

We heard the front door open and saw Berry Punch come out with a couple of drinks on a tray.

"Hey boys. I figured you both could use a drink."

"Hey thanks."

"Thanks. Much appreciated."

She smiled. "No problem loves. I'm just about to trot off to work. Try not to break anything, okay?"

"No promises!" Jack joked.

A while later, I was counting to see if we had enough shingles to cover the roof. We were actually a little short but not by much. Jack ran off to get more. I was sitting there waiting before I felt a tug on the back of my shirt. I turned and looked down.

"Oh hey Spike. Oh.. Nice hat."

He had this proud smirk on his face. "Thanks. It's a gift. A birthday gift."

"Oh hey, it is your birthday, isn't it? Happy birthday lil man."

"Thanks!" He said, standing there with his hand out. I stared at his hand and back at him. I didn't wanna leave the lil guy hanging in his birthday, so I slapped his hand. He looked at his hand and back up at me with a disappointed expression. "That's it? You aren't gonna give me anything?"

"What? I gave you some dap."

"You gave me... What? Never mind. You don't have any gifts or anything to give me?"

"Oh that's what you-.. Sorry dude."

"What about that game you carry around?!"

"Family gift, lil football. You don't gift a family gift."

"But everything you have is a 'family gift'." I just looked at him with my best 'card crusher' face. "Aw just forget it! Maybe somepony else has something for me." Spike said, stomping off.

As he did, Jack came back with his shingles watching the angry drake storm off. "What's his problem?"

"Had nothing to give the guy for his birthday but a 'gimme never gets' lesson."

"Gotcha."

We were just finishing up. The shingles were all nailed down neatly onto the roof. I had no idea how long it took us to do the task. All that was left was for us to wait for BP to come back and give us our payment. This was the plan until literally out of nowhere, Twilight teleported in front of me.

"Xavier! I need your help! It's about Spike! He's growing and taking things that's not his and I was wondering if you know a way to help with this problem!"

Dafuq? "Uh, Twi. What makes you so sure I know anything about this?"

"Yeah, you and Hiroto are the bookworms in the group. Don't you have a book or somethin on this sort of thing?" Jack said.

"I... don't." Twilight sheepishly confessed.

I had to double take. "Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! That's three hold ups." I said, holding up three fingers. "You mean to tell us that you had that dragon around. Since you were a blank flank filly. And you never got a book on dragonatomy, out of all the books you have?"

Jack shook his head. "Wow. Totally irresponsible." We both chuckled as we picked on her.

"Ugh! Guys! I'm serious! I don't know what to do and you aren't helping! While you two are doing... whatever you're doing-"

"Waiting to get paid for roof replacement." We corrected.

"Oh.. Well, Spike is growing really fast and-"

She was cut off by ground shaking, screaming and a stampede by fleeing ponies. Hiroto was running along with them. Hiroto saw us and pointed in the direction they were running from, screaming:

"GODZILLA!!!!"

A large purple and green dragon roared with a silo in one hand, a screaming Rarity wrapped in a purple tail. I also noticed he had bandages on the other hand. He was swinging Rarity around, swatting at Rainbow and Fluttershy.

Twilight and I noticed a lack of a witty remark and turned to Jack.

Or rather where he 'was'. "Where did he.."

"I think he rented the 'Nopemobile.'"

"Well at least you'll help us. Come on! No time to lose!"

Dafuq x2?

"Waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute Wait! A! Minute!"

"But we don't have a minute! What's wrong?!"

"This! This is what's wrong! How do you expect me to help with that?!?" I said, gesturing both of my hands at the now gigantic behemoth on a mountain.

"That is Spike and he needs all of our help!"

"At the cost of my health? Fuck that noise!"

As the Wonderbolts flew by, Two looked at Spike climbing a mountain swinging his tail at the Dash, ruining Rarity's cape. I snickered, but Twi didn't share my amusement.

Twi stomped her for leg. "Do you see why we need you to help us?"

"With what? My unicorn horn or pegasi wings?"

I looked again as the Wonderbolts ended up trapped inside of the silo that Spike jammed into the mountain side.

"Wow... The Wonderbolts suck..."

"WHAT?!?"

"Help us!"

"Okay I'll help. Just hold on one second and let me stop being a human. OH WAIT! I can't. Because I'm human."

"Xavier ju-"

"I'm a human!"

"Oh my-"

"I'm a huuuuman"

"Good Celestia would you-"

"I'M A HUUUUUUUMAN"

"XAVIE-"

"I'M A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" She put a hoof over my mouth.

"If you atleast try to help, I'll give you one free favor."

"Three."

"Fine."

"Okay then."

"Thank you!"

The two of us made our way to a really feminine-looking bridge by said mountain.

"Any ideas?" Twilight asked.

"Just one." I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, "SPIKE IF YA DONT TURN SMALL AGAIN, YOU'LL LOSE THE ONE THING YOU HAVE WITH RARITY, AND SHE'LL FALL FOR JEFF!!!" Twilight facepalmed.

But boy did that get his attention.

"NO!!!" Spikezilla roared before turning back to the small purple football we all know and love. I can't believe that worked. Of course, this is when gravity ruined the moment for they were still near the mountain top. Twilight lessened their speed with her magic and caught Spike whereas I caught Rarity, but dropped her when she started batting her eyelashes at me. Yeah, nope.

"See? I told you you could help." Twi said smugly.

"Yeah, yeah. I got lucky. And I still get three free favors." I waved her off to talk to her friends. I noticed Spike was sitting alone on the bridge, brooding. I went over to him. "Sup?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because of my obsession with getting things on my birthday, I nearly leveled the town?!" He said sarcastically.

"Yeah. I mean, you and the girls had completely forgot about my birthday..."

"*gaaaaaaaaasp*" [link]

"...but you don't see me growing in size and knocking over buildings and stuff." I joked. Spike's head lowered even more. "Look. Spike. I don't have anything to give you for your birthday, but how about this..." I took out my 3DS XL and handed it to him. "I'll let you borrow it for 2 days."

Spike beamed up at me. "Really?!"

"Yeah. Why not? Just don't break it, scratch up my screen, or delete any of my saves."

"Okay, I Pinkie promise! gee, thanks Xavier!"

"No problem."

Spike started playing Smash. I watched him for a bit. He didn't even notice Rarity coming over.

"Spike dear?"

"Hey Rarity."

"I just wanted to say I'm proud of you, Spike."

"Okay." Spike said, his eyes never leaving the device.

"It was you who stopped... well, you, from destroying Ponyville!"

"Okay. Thank you." He said hastily, trying to concentrate on beating Diddy Kong, Ganondorf, and Dr. Mario on lvl 5 with his Charizard.

"I... see you're busy."

"Sure."

"I'll... be seeing you, Spike."

"Sure..."

By this time I was covering my mouth and holding my nose, trying to refrain from laughing my ass off. I walked over by Rarity, leaving Spike to my device and placed a hand on her back. "Don't worry Rares. Nothing personal. It's a gamer thing. Won't understand unless you get into it yourself"

"If these 'games' turn sweet hearts into mindless careless ruffians, then I'll take no part of them." She said, sticking her nose in the air.

"Rarity, if you want us to get along better, try building a relationship by trying out something we like doing. Who knows, you just might like it."

"Have you ever tried helping me with my hobbies?" Rarity said.

"Tailoring is your career. Gaming is a hobby. I'm not doing your job for you, not that I know how."

"Then why should I spend one moment of my precious time 'gaming' with you?"

"Because our little sisters and their friends enjoy it." That caught her interest. "And if you don't like it, I'll take a day off and help you at your shop. Free of charge."

"Deal."

"Eggsy!" I heard from behind me.

"Yes Pinkie?" I said, looking over my shoulder.

"You! Me! Our friends! Make up birthday party! Tonight!" She had a determined look.

"Sure."

"We're going to have an 'We're sorry we missed your birthdays' party for you and Traevy!"

"Sounds good."

She was about to go to get started, but stopped. "Oh right! I almost forgot!" She zipped back and clung to my leg, wailing. "I'M SORRY EGGSY!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO FORGET ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY! I'M SO SO SO SORRY! Did I tell you how sorry I am because if I didn't I'M SOOOOOOORRYYYYYYYY!!!" Everyone stared at Pinkie.

"I forgive you?"

In an instant, she was back to her normal cheery self. "Great! See you tonight Eggsy!" She said before taking off in a pink blur.

It was quiet for a moment. "Well... That just happened." I said, breaking the silence.

"Yup." Jack said from behind me, startling the shit out of me.

"Jack! Don't do that! And where da hell did you run off to?" I asked.

"Easy. I ran with everyone else. Hello? Giant dragon! And I'm no Dovahkiin!"

"Would be kickass if you were though." I added.

"Heh hell yeah it'd be!"

Jack and I headed back home with the girls, having confused them with our references and human banter. We went from games we have that they never played to movies and TV series most of the girls never seen. Of course Rainbow jumped in the conversation when I mentioned Superman and Flash. I may or may not have watched a few movies with her. When I told her that the Flash could go so fast he could go back in time, Dash's interest grew noticeably. Spike was begrudgingly interested, remembering our conversation last year. Pinkie must've been busy, because when we finally got home, the party favors were already set up.

"SURPRIIIIIISE!!!" Pinkie screamed, jumping out from behind the couch. "Welcome to your 'I'msorryIforgotyourbirthdays' party!"

Bro was sitting in the recliner with a party hat . It looked like someone was struggling to get it on with the way it looked.

"Well Ah'll be." AJ said. "It hadn't even been but a half n hour and Pinkie's already got a party set up."

"FLUTTERSHY!!!" Brianna ran right past me and straight to the yellow shy pegasus and hugged her. Fluttershy returned the gesture.

"Hello to you too, sis."

"Hi Xavier." She said un-enthusiastically. Ya little runt.

I went over to the living room couch and sat down, Rainbow sitting by me. A beep was heard in the kitchen. "Uh oh!" Pinkie dashed into the kitchen for a minute and zipped back out with her eyes watering. "The human yummies are done!" Human yummies?

"Hey, Pinkie, are you okay?"

Fluttershy, jumping to conclusions, asked "Human yummies? You don't mean.... meat, do you? Those poor animals.." She seemingly shrunk a few sizes. Her worries were put to rest when Jack came out of the kitchen.

"Pinkie! Made! Fucking! Onion Rings!"

I jumped out of the fuckin couch, nearly uppercutting the shit out of Rainbow's chin with my shoulder. "You're shittin me!!"

"I shit you not!"

"Can you boys please stop using that obscene language?!" Rarity snapped.

"Ya don't like the language Missy, ya can get the hell out!" I heard Jeff say from upstairs. "The Roberts brothers make the rules here, not you."

"Well. I'll just be in the other room then." Rarity said, walking out of the room with her nose held high.

Pinkie giggled at Jack and mine's reactions. "There's plenty for everyone! And don't think I left you out of the bunch, TraeTrae! I made some mots-o-rella cheese sticks with Brianna!" I caught bro raising an eyebrow slightly. Don't hide it bro. Pinks is awesome.

I guess after 3 years of having friendly meet-ups at my house and playing the same 4 or 5 Wii U games got boring. We all could probably challenge even the best players on Earth at Smash tournaments. We were playing 8 player Smash. Me being Ryu, bro as Captain Falcon, when Rarity came back, she thought Bayonetta was fashionable, Jack as Mario, Twi as Female Robin, AJ as Samus, Dash as Sonic, Pinkie as Jigglypuff, and Spike as Charizard. The matches were chaotic (especially trying to keep up with Twi's constant spamming of Thorons) but the insane matches were mostly won by me or my bro. Twi won 2, and Dash got lucky once. Everyone was tired of Smash though.

"Hey X. Got anything else we can play? We've been playing Mariokart and Smash and those other games all the time." The others nodded in agreement. "Got anything else besides fighting games on your X-Box?"

"Yeah, but uh... I don't really think you girls can handle em."

"What? Are you kidding me, monkey boy?!" Rainbow objected.

"Sure, Smash has violence, but it's fun if we can handle that, we can handle any of your human games." Twilight said.

"I admit I may have been prejudice against these games. They are quite entertaining." Rarity admitted.

I shrugged. "Alright, but you've been warned."

It was an hour later after we hooked the X-Boxs up. However, the remaining players were only on one. The others were in the other room. except for bro and the kids. They were upstairs sleep. It was only me, Jeff, Jack, and Rainbow. I've never seen her shaken this much before. I could tell she was trying to hang in there to try to please me, but it was only her pride keeping her there.

"Hey Rainbow. You okay there?"

"I-I'm fine!"

"Ya sure? You're shaking."

"Widdle pansy ponies can't handle it." Jeff taunted.

"S-Shut up!"

"Well, if you say so..." I got an idea just then. I leaned to Jack and started whispering. I could hear the others in the other room.

"S-So much blood.."

"That human... pulled out... that person's heart!"

"They j-just charged at us screaming and exploded like gore confetti!!!"

"YOU KEEP CONFETTI OUT OF THIS TWILIGHT!!!"

"That barbaric music playing didn't help. How can humans even make games like that?!"

"Ah don't know, Rares. Ah just don't know."

I looked at Jack. It was happening to him too. It craves. It hungers.

Our inner trolls.

-3rd person POV-

The girls were finally starting to calm down after they were introduced to a less-pleasant-to-pony-society human game. They were even starting to wonder if the humans were really all that safe to be around after what they saw. Some if the weapons their characters used looked awfully familiar to the ones they saw Xavier and Jeff carry around often, and now they've seen the damage they could possibly do to a pony.

"I'll try to talk to Xavier about it before sending the letter to the princess about it."

"Good idea Twi. Ah don't feel all that safe anymore."

"You?! What about me?! Xavier's had it out for me more than anyone else here!" Rarity protested.

Before anything else could be said...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Do you girls hear that?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Oh no..." Twi whimpered. The others hearts sunk as well.

"Sweet mercy.."

Three of the headless (or heads under their shirts) kamikazes from the game ran into the room screaming with bombs (spraypainted balloons) attached to each of their hands. The girls were screaming. Twilight put up a barrier around her and her 3 screaming friends (Fluttershy fainted). Twilight didn't know how well her shield would hold against three of them. She could teleport herself and two of her friends to safety, but she couldn't bear the thought of her abandoning her other friends and her boyfriend. She closed her eyes, a tear escaping from one of them as the beheaded kamikazes were running around circling them, screaming. This is it. I'm sorry friends. I'm sorry Princess.

A bright flash of light lit up the room for a split seconds before the kamikazes' screaming turned into laughing. Twilight opened one of her eyes to see Jack, Jeff, and Xavier laughing on the floor with the 'bombs' still taped to their hands. Rainbow had had Xavier's phone. To say the conscious girls didn't look happy with them would be an understatement.

"Xavier! You Pinkie Promised that you'd never prank me or Rainbow!"

"Well. First of all, it was Jack's idea. Second, I can't really pinky promise someone who doesn't have a pinky finger." Yup. Another loophole.

Pinkie's mane went flat just about the same time a strand of Twilight's springed up. AJ tilted her hat forward while cracking her neck as soon as Twilight let the shield down. They started approaching the three humans. Dash had sense left for her own home away from danger. Rarity just left before she could do or say something she'd regret.

-Xavier's POV-

Okay. The girls were pretty pissed. I couldn't see Twi's eyes under her bangs, but when I saw her start grinning, I started to think we went too far.

"Uh... Would it help if I said sorry?" I asked. My response was maniacal laughter. Think fast Xavier! I did the one thing I could think of. I scratched behind Twilight and Pinkie's ears.

Surprisingly it had some affect. Straight-haired Pinkie looked annoyed instead of furious. Twilight just shot me a nasty glare. Yeah, yeah, cheap trick. Not fair. Blah blah blah. Jack didn't really have that much luck, because you know.. AJ's stetson was in the way. So he noped his way to where his brothers' were sleeping and locked himself in.

"Why?" She growled through her teeth.

"Inner troll was hungry. Thought it'd be a perfect opportunity." Pinkie looked like she wanted to say something, but decided to give me the silent treatment. "Consider it payback for forgetting my birthday." Pinkie just rolled her eyes, still silent.

"Whatever."

They're adorable right now. I wanted to push Twilight's buttons one last time. I stood up and stretched.

"I think I'm gonna hit the sack. Wanna come with?"

"With you?! Now?! Fat chance! I'm going home!" She got up, going towards the front door.

Hehehe... "Well, if you think you can sleep well alone after all of that, suit yourself. Night." I went up stairs and to my room with a smirk as I went to bed. The smirk turned to a wide grin when I heard Twilight come in shortly after.

"Scoot over." She begrudgingly commanded.

Author's Note

That's for Chap 6 Season 2.

If you keep up with my blog, you'd understand why it took so long. Anyway, it took a while. I already started on the recap for the next chapter which will be...

Well to be honest, I'm gonna mix up the episodes a bit, so... I'll update this when I get there. And for the record, I take no credit for the art. (I still can't draw)

Oh, and leave a thumbs up if you like this chapter and leave a comment on what you think about it.

Thanks!

Edit: Next chapter will be: "I hate Valentines Day!"

S2 Chapter 7: Another reason to hate Valentines Day

Warning: Light colored text may be hard to read. I recommend darkening your background via formatting.

S2 Chapter 7: Another Reason to hate Valentines Day

-Xavier's recap-

Last week wasn't fun. It was pretty uneventful with the girls mad at me and all, Dash being an exception, up until last Wednesday. They might've convinced her or something to stay away from me, and she did as told. I've seen her around though, and she would also give me sad looks. I see how it is. They're pressuring Rainbow to avoid me to get to me. That is low. Twilight's no longer asking me for help around the library. She either completely relied on Spike or try to get Applejack to let up on Jack so he could help her instead, to which she stubbornly refused. Poor Jack. They gave Jeff the silent treatment, but he didn't really give any shits. I decided to take a lesson from his book and go on about my own business. If they wanna take it like a bunch of children, fuck 'em. Lesson to learn: If a girl gives you the silent treatment, focus on something else and not them. Silent treatments don't work if you ignore it. At the very least, they weren't jerks to the kids. Since Jack is paying his dues, it was me against them in this figurative game of chicken. Who will crack first? Game on, bitches.

Although, Luna was laughing like crazy when I told her about the prank (She had already told me that even Equestria had its fair share of gore in the distant past), even more so when I told her how I had got into Twilight's head to get her into bed with me after I pranked the living shit out of her and got away with it, no harm done. "And we thought we were a pranking legend!" was her comment. She had also told me that her sister was onto her. Celestia apparently knows she has a crush on somepony, just not the fact that he's not a pony. I didn't know if I should believe her when she stated that Celestia was trying to very subtly pry information from her. That was also when I told her how I felt about us. You know, for one who apparently turned evil from lack of love and appreciation, she was pretty cool about it. I basically told her that it would take a while to get used to polygamy and this herding idea (I stayed quiet about her being royalty because frankly she wasn't to me). Even though she has a major crush on me, she didnt get upset probably because I had already told her about it before my "confession." However, this didn't mean that she was going to stop messing and flirting with me, so not much changed. She just told me to tell her whenever I was ready to add more to the herd. She was serious, but it sounded like she was messing with me again, laughing when I twitched. Would I be her boyfriend, or her personal human jester? Again, not much changed. I did, however, start feeling another presence in my dreams recently.

-End of Recap-

I was sitting in the Kodiak shuttle that was currently docked within the Normandy SR2's hangar. Commander Shephard had told me that we were going to shut down defenses on a Cerberus fighter base on Noveria. This mission will be cake. To be truthful, it always was, even when I played platinum multiplayer with Jack and one of his friends, Chris. There I was, in my N7 Destroyer armor yet again, equipped with my N7 Crusader and my Paladin heavy pistol. I go in heavy. And I never disappoint. I'm usually the last man standing when my team is down and I'm a pro at staying alive.

When the Normandy reached Noveria, the shuttle door opened. Cortez went to the cockpit while I was again greeted by the commander and Kaidan. By the way, I often greet her as-

"Hey, Commander Luna M. Shephard. I take it you're all set and ready?"

"Must thou always include our rank and last name we didn't choose and cannot change?" Luna said in slight annoyance. "It's just Luna to thee, Xavier."

"I know. It's a bit fun though."

"It's still odd being the only equine in this dream."

"Well, we could always go back to Ontarom." I joked.

"Oh?" She said unamusingly. "Thou mean where that poor and miserable excuse of a creature that loves to steal our credits when our back is turned? We will pass!"

"Haha! And you thought it was the end when you killed it! Nope!"

"Going there was thou's idea."

"I know." I said with prankster's pride.

Luna commanded our crippled pilot to bring us over the base. When he did, Cortez flew us out of the hangar and towards the base. I turned on my shoulder-mounted rocket launcher that somehow has infinite rockets installed and got the first kill as soon as we landed... before being pinned down by 2 autoturrets. Fuckin engineers!

"Hey uh, Luna? Why didn't we bring Tali with us again?" I asked.

"Why doest thou ask us such questions?"

"Because we need a hacker, not a biotic when taking on Cerberus? She can hack those turrets!"

"Oh right! So thou can stare at her hips once more? We say nay!"

"Any electronics they have, Luna, will be a problem for us." I said in an annoyed tone.

"And why not Sir Vakarian?!"

I tried to take out the turrets with my scopeless sniper rifle, but had to duck back down real quickly due to being fired upon. "Because Garrus can't hack! And he's a sniper! We don't need one on this level!"

"Still. We feel confident in thoust abilities to handle this without her." And this is why stubborn commanders aren't really allowed to get romantically involved with one of their subordinates. "We can hear thee!"

That's right. She's romancing me. No big surprise. When I told her that she could romance one person on her team, she picked me. She asked who I picked, and of course, I told her Tali. Just like an idiot would. Now I'm regretting it. Since then, she always picked me on missions, but never Tali, no matter how useful she'd be. I should've lied and said Ashley, had I not told her I chose to save Kaidan for not being a stubborn space racist. That wasn't a hard choice for Commander Luna though. Since this is a monogamous game made by a mostly monogamous species, she chose to eliminate the competition. She literally assumed that I'd automatically be more attracted to another human, which is normal I guess. She still ain't real.

"You're being ridiculous!" I said, retreating inside while launching grenades at the turrets.

"Us? Ridiculous?! We see thee look at her whenever we pass her!" She said, using her vortex ability on a pair of Cerberus soldiers.

"Uh, guys, you're still on the squad comm frequency." Kaidan interrupted.

"Oh... Sorry."
"We apologize."

"It's times like these in which I'm glad I'm gay." Cortez chipped.

(Wednesday, 2/15)

-Jonathan's POV-

I woke up from a good dream! It was a dream that I was a super hero that became the king of time and space!! They called me... TIME SPACE LORD MAN!!! Anyway I got up and went to pee before going downstairs. I felt my tummy growl but I didn't feel like eating gross fish or boring cereals again, so I woke up Jack! He is supposed to be up anyway so he can go on his kissy kissy time with his pony girlfriend. He must be immune to cooties. That must mean I inherited cootie resistance too! Xavier has been staying away from his pony girlfriends a lot. Maybe he caught the cooties?

"Jack! Jack!" I said, gently (roughly) shaking him.

He groaned waking up. "What? What do you want?!"

"Gimme bits please! I wanna go get muffins from Sugarcube Corner! I'm HUUUNGRYYYY!!!"

"Fine.." He groaned reaching for his bit pouch and giving me the bits. "And don't spend them on cupcakes or candy..."

I didn't hear him because I ran out of there with the bits, got dressed and went out to that place. At Sugarcube Corner, there was a line. Awww but I'm hungry NOOOOW! My stomach growled again and I saw that yellow pony lady that's Button Mash's mom! She looked sad with two boxes of chocolate cupcakes and one empty one. How is that possible?!? Chocolate ALWAYS make me happy! So I ran up to her.

"Hi Misses Mash!"

"Beat it, monster kid!" She said in a mean way. "And that's not my name."

"That's mean!"

"Don't you have innocent creatures to feed on or something?" She said, stuffing another cupcake in her mouth. I was gonna say something about her being mean to me when my tummy growled again. I stated at the cupcakes. Oooh... Those cupcakes look yummy! I didn't see her looking at me. "Do human parents teach their kids how to ask for things nicely?"

"Can I have one pretty please?" I held my hand out.

"Here." She hoofed me a cupcake. I quickly ate it. It was yummy! But I had to axe (ask) a question.

"Why are you sad?"

She let out a sad sound (a sigh). "Kid, you won't understand until you're older."

"I am older by a few seconds!"

I made her smile! Yesssss! "I mean years older. My age." I grinned at her. "Button always says that when he wants to stay up late or do other adult things." I frowned.

"Bedtimes stink!"

She laughed again. "A growing boy needs his sleep."

I crossed my arms, tired of hearing that. First mom and dad, then Jack, and now other moms?!? "Misses Button's Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you sad? Jack says that you shouldn't keep bad stuff in your head. It eats you up."

"He's right." She said, making that sad noise again.

"He also says that if I listen to girls problems, they'll be easier." I said.

She had almost spat out her cupcake. She covered her mouth with her hoof, laughing. "Is that so?" After she stopped, she made that sound. "I suppose there isn't any harm in telling you. Today is... Heart's and Hooves Day."

"Sounds gross!"

She giggled again. "At your age it might." She looked sad again. "It is also Button's father and my 9th anniversary. Or it would've been if he didn't leave me to avoid responsibility for our child!" She stuffed another cupcake in her face.

A half an hour later, she was crying and I was uncomfortable with it. I thought moms didn't cry!

"And now I'm a single mother with Button Mash being the only family I have left!" she sobbed. I was bored and she was out of cupcakes. After she finished, she smiled at me. "*sniff* Thanks for listening to me. I-I really *sniffle* needed that. You're a good listener."

"Uh... I was lost at 'anniversary.' Sorry.."

"Oh... Well, it's the thought of you trying that counts, dear." She said. "What was your name again?"

"Jonathan Williams!" I said proudly. "Also known as Time Space Lord Man!"

"Well... It is nice to meet you, dear. You can call me Miss Joy." Speaking of names, I had another question to axe.

"Why did you call me monster kid? That wasn't nice!" I whined.

"I guess I should say sorry. Nopony should talk to a kid that way, even if they eat meat."

"Well we used to eat cows and chicken, but Jack and Hiroto says that's bad here so we can't anymore. We eat fish and beans now."

She lightly smiled. "You really don't eat ponies, do you?" She asked.

"What?! Ew! No! Most of my friends are ponies!!" I said.

"That's a relief. I always worried that my little Mashy would end up being a dish around you humans." She chuckled. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

"Lie? No way! I'm not a lier!"

"There you are!" Called an angry voice.

-Jack's POV-

I was so furious when I found him sitting with Misses Mash with chocolate around his mouth. And after I had told him "No sweets!"

"There you are ya little runt! I thought I said no sweets for breakfast!"

He looked at me, grinning. "I didn't have any sweets for breakfast! Oh look at the time! Gotta go to class, bye!" And off he went. I'll take care of you tonight.

"It looks like I'm to blame. The line was long and he was hungry. I also had plenty of cupcakes. More than I should eat anyway." Button Mash's mom said.

"How much do I owe you, ma'am?"

"Nothing. You're Jack, right?"

"Yes ma'am I am."

"You gave your little brother some good advice, other than the girls being easy part. It really helped me today." Wait a minute...

"Don't you hate us? You know, for being meat eaters?" I asked.

"Oh I'm over it. I'm sorry if I caused any stress. I was just nervous with my son being around you guys. He's... really all I have left." She smiled weakly. I guess I'll let the runt off the hook this time.

"Well, you have my name, and I can't keep calling you Button's Mom."

"It's Joy. Joy Stick." She got up from her seat.

"Would you mind bringing joy to my stick?" Heh heh heh...

She smirked. "Okay Mr. Funny Guy. Maybe if you can handle the extra package that comes with this mare."

"You mean you and Button Ma-" Hold... up... "Wait wait wait... are you... and him... gamers? You're a gaming mom?!"

"Well, yeah. My ex-husband and I met each other at an arcade in Manehattan." She raised an eyebrow.

"That... is... awesome..." I wish my mom was a gamer.

"You think so? I usually get criticized for-"

"Fuck dem nerds. Gamerz 4 Lyfe!" I said a little too loud.

Joy giggled. "That's very charming, but aren't you and Applejack a thing?"

Shit! I dunno if AJ's the herding type! "Well, yeah, but I'm sure she won't mind starting a herd." I hope...

"Not so fast, stud. I'll need to get to know you a lot better than I do now before we do anything." She walked past me, giving me a peck on the cheek. "In the meantime, let's keep in touch." She hoofed me a paper with her mailing address on it before leaving. Joy is some mare alright.

-Brianna's POV-

I was half way to school when I met the girls carrying a large pretty glittery something rolled up. I knew today was pony Valentine's Day, but I was curious.

"Hey girls. Whatcha doin?"

"Howdy Brianna! We were just headed to school to give Miss Cheerilee our gift so she'd know how special we think she is." AB replied.

Aaawww.. "Can I see?" I asked.

Sweetie Bell shook her head. "It's not easy rolling it up like this without losing too much of the glitter."

"Oh. Well we don't wanna be late for class." We picked up the pace. We saw Jonny running to our direction. I managed to stop him so he could give us a hand in carrying it. Since we were taller, he and I were the ones carrying the girls' rolled up project there. Jonny and I took our seats when we made it to class while the girls showed Ms. Cheerilee their gift to her. After they did that, I took out one of the cards I had made with Traevon and handed it to Jonny. He took the card and looked at me funny.

"What's this?"

"A card I made for you." I said. "Don't you like it?"

Jonny cringed. "Ew, you aren't coming into me are you?!"

I heard Hiroto snicker. "You said it wrong, and I'm not coming onto you. Don't you know what today is?"

"Hearts and hoofs day?"

"Yes! It's pony Valentine's Da-"

"You mean icky gooey cootie spreading day?! Ugh!"

"For the fifteenth time, Jonny, there are no such thing as cooties!" I said, agitated.

"That's what every girl says!"

"We've known each other for years! If cooties were real, you'd already be infected!"

"Oh yeah?!?" He started making a few jestures on his arm with a smug look. "Double double dot dot now I got the cootie shots! Hah!"

"Double double square square, now you have them in your hair." I said, kissing my finger and putting it in said hair.

"EEEEEEIIIIIIAAAAAGH!!!!" As our classmates laughed at the spazzing out Jonny, the girls sat by us.

"Guess what, Bri! We know what we're gonna do today!" Sweetie said.

"What's that, Phineas?" Jonny was too busy flailing with Snips and Snails on the ground to laugh at the reference. The teacher ran out of the room.

"Uh... I'm not Phineas. And we're gonna find Ms. Cheerilee a special somepony!" She said.

"The teacher doesn't have a stallion?! She's like the nicest pony there is! ...besides Fluttershy."

"Ah said the same thing!" Apple Bloom quoted as said teacher came back with a nurse. "We need to find the perfect stallion for her."

"But who would be good enough for her?" Scootaloo asked as the boy and two colts were taken out of class. We were let out early.

-Jack's POV-

I was slaving away at AJ's farm. Why? She's still pissed about me scaring the living shit out of then a while ago. I didn't even know if I could say it was worth it anymore. Whereas it's easier for AJ to apple buck, human legs aren't that strong!

A couple of times, I was taken off of apple kicking duty and was told to carry the basket of apples back to the barn. For a second I was relieved, thinking AJ was starting to let up. Yeah right... The Apples never let up on punishment. Nope. She fastened the pace, telling me to get the apples before they went rotten. I would've argued that apples don't rot that fast, but we were alone far out in the middle of the orchard. No one would find my body. I'm not whipped or a punk, but I'm not stupid.

I was tired. Beat. Sitting against an apple tree like Golden Freddie. I had long stopped sweating. I think I was becoming dehydrated.

"Sleepin' on the job, sug?"

I gave out a loud enough groan as Applejack approached. "AJ! Don't you think you've been going overboard with this? I know I said I'd make it up to you but damn!"

"Ya shoulda thought o' that before ya pulled that there awful trick on us." She stated, bucking another tree.

"Shiiiiiiiiit..." I deflatingly sighed. "That was ages ago... you mares can hold a grudge..." Speaking of mares... "AJ."

"Yeah?"

"You know how Xavier has 2 mares in his herd?" She nodded. "I was wondering if you're the herding type."

She stopped mid-buck and paused for a moment. She let out a breath. "Ya know, maybe it is time for a little break." THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!!! "Ah wanna show ya a lil' somethin'." She said, walking off towards her home.

"Okay.." I followed. She had lead me to her house and to her living room to a bookshelf. She pulled out a book with an apple on it. She opened it up and sat down on a couch and patted the spot next to her. I sat next to her before she showed what was in the booklet. It was a family album that had pictures from all of their family reunions dating all the way back to the foundation of Ponyville.

"Ya notice anything in these pictures?"

"Yeah. Granny Smith was a looker back then." That earned me a soft hoof to the back of the head.

"What else?"

Looking closer at the group photographs, I could see that most of her family were almost all females. "Oh."

"Ya know, half of em were invited to our family reunions because they were either in a herd with a stallion in out family, or with one had an Apple in a stallion's herd. That makes em all Apples, ya know?"

I pondered in thought. "I guess that means I'm the first human Apple."

"Ah guess so." She planted a kiss on my lips. "Ah love ya Jack."

"Love you too, but you know... you could've just said yes when I asked if you were okay with herding."

"BACK TA WORK!!"

-Xavier's POV-

Today's shit. Everyone's shit. This entire holiday is an idiot. I walk out of my house and find a couple cuddling on my deck. They both got the boot of course. I ain't havin none of that shit today. But no, it wasn't just happening in front of my house. No. It was happening everywhere I turned. Couples cuddling. Herds smooching. Get a fucking room and fuck already!! I wasn't in the mood to deal with any of this shit. I had half the mind to stay at home and barricade myself in my room to keep myself from dealing with this shit, but NO! I had to go out and run fucking errands! And the least I wanna do is run into the four backstabbing bitches I called 'friends' and the two traitors I called marefriends. To hell with all of them!

In fact, to hell with this fucking errand! Guys at home can get their own shit themselves today. I ain't dealin with it. I started to turn back to the house. The sooner I'm back at home, the better. The sooner I'm in my room, the better. Half way there, I heard someone calling me.

"Xavier! Hey!" I turned to see who had the balls to call out to me today, only to find that it was Brianna along with the three fillies she hangs around with. Ain't these little girls supposed to be in class right now?

"What?" I replied.

"Do ya have any plans today?"

"Fuck no! I just wanna go home and sleep away this miserable day."

The three fillies flinched. Brianna whispered something to the three and they nodded their heads. "Well, we were hoping you'd come to the park to help us with something. It's an... uh... it's a school project we're working on!"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Bell replied.

I rolled my eyes and gave out an annoyed sigh. "Fine."

"Great! Meet us at the park in an hour!" Apple Bloom hollered.

"Oh God... Fine!" I wasn't looking forward to doing anything that day, but if it was to help sis, why not?

-3rd Person POV-

An hour later, Xavier went to the park as told. He looked around for his sister, wishing to get whatever it was over with fast. Eventually he found his sister and her friends on a picnic basket. Their teacher, Ms. Cheerilee, approached then just as he did. He figured since this had something to do with school, her being here would make sense.

"Alright sis. You know why I'm here and where I'd rather be. What do you need?"

"Oh we just wanted the two of you to be the first to try our punch!" said Bri. Just then, Xavier noticed something odd as Apple Bloom was pouring two small cups of punch.

"Say, where's Jonathan?"

"He's at the hospital with Snips and Snails. He had a contagious human disease known as 'cooties'." Cheerilee said, remorsefully. Xavier covered his mouth and nose as he snickered. "Am I missing the joke? I had to end class early." She said, unamused.

"Cooties is a made up disease told to boys to keep them from falling for girls at that young of age, lady. It ain't real." He told her before laughing again.

Cheerilee just facehoofed, groaning. "Of course..."

"Here's your punch! Drink up!" Sweetie said, sliding the glasses in front of them and hid in a bush with her friends

Cheerilee and Xavier stared at the cups and at each other for a moment. Now it was her turn to laugh. "I'm sorry Mr. Roberts. I told the girls that I didn't have a special somepony. First they tried to set me up with Big Mac, and now they're trying to set me up with you. Isn't that just silly?"

"So this isn't extra credit?" He asked.

"No, sorry."

"Go figure."

"Well, we might as well humor the girls and not let this punch go to waste." She staged, picking up her glass.

"Sure... Sooner I get home, the better." Xavier picked up the glass. "Bottoms up." They both drank their cups together, not knowing what was in their drinks was actually a love potion. The moment they downed their drinks, they felt it. Cheerlee's face began flushing as she stared into the eyes of the human.

"Was something in my drink? I feel weird..."

Cheerilee's only response was her locking lips with him. Shocked at first, Xavier returned the kiss, noticing that it felt right to him. When they broke the kiss, he stood up.

"Hey, Cheers. You uh, wanna head over to my place for some, uh... Netflix n Chill?" He asked.

Cheerilee stared at him amorously. "I don't understand what that means, but it sounds... alluring." she said lustfully. As they walked on their way to the house of human, four girls cheered in a bush.

"Success!!!" Sweetie cheered.

"We actually did it!"

"Wait a minute... What's Netflix and chill?" Scootaloo asked.

"Oh, Netflix is something you use to watch movies and stuff. You can basically watch any movie you want."

"Cool!"
"Woah...."
"That sounds awesome!"

"But... You need internet.. We hadn't had internet since we appeared in Equestria." Brianna pondered in thought.

This confused the girls. "Internet? What's that?"

"It's... Hard to explain but... Maybe Hiroto or my brothers found a way to get internet!!"

"Great! Let's find him!" Scootaloo commanded.

The teen in question was reading a book at Golden Oak's library. Twilight had came in a while ago, talking about her run in with the crusaders while stacking books. He wasn't really paying any attention to anything until said girls came bursting through the doors, Bri calling out for him.

"Hiroto! Hiroto Hiroto! Did you really reinvent the internet?!?"

Hiroto stared at her as if she had large boils on her face. "Uh... What?! No.. How did you even get that idea? Who told you I did?"

"Well, Xavier said he was going to watch Netflix and chill with Ms. Cheerilee. He can't do that without internet."

The boy started to feel uncomfortable as he tried to explain what it actually meant. "Netflix and chill means..." he started. "When a man loves a woman.. or in your case, a stallion loves a mare..."

Twilight dropped her books, teleporting between Hiroto and the crusaders, chuckling nervously. "H-Hiroto, I don't think the girls are old enough to know about that. Why don't you leave that to the adults to give them the talk?" This is when Hiroto started whispering in Twilight's ear. When he was done, her face dropped and her eyes went wide. "WHAT?!? He's supposed to talk to me and Rainbow before allowing another mare to the herd!! Oh that no good-" At seeing her upset reaction, Apple Bloom decided to come clean.

"Actually..." Apple Bloom interrupted. "We did that. We wanted Ms. Cheerilee ta have a special somepony, and.. you remember that book ya let us borrow? The one with the ingredients for that love potion?"

Twilight nodded as her head ticked before she put two and two together. She looked at the girls with great concern. "Oh please tell me you didn't do what I think you did.."

"You tricked Xavier and our teacher into drinking love potion?" Hiroto asked.

"No, they tricked them into drinking love poison!!" Twilight exclaimed. She turned to the girls. "You girls are in so much trouble, but now we need to get to Xavier and Cheerilee fast!" Twilight dashed out of the library with the kids in tow. She stormed off to the human house and signaled the kids to wait outside as she went in. When she went upstairs and into her boyfriend's room, she could tell from the stench that it was already too late. She magicked the door open to find Xavier and the town's favorite teacher under the covers, both asleep. She closed the door quickly and went around to see if anyone else was in the house when he heard Jeff coming from the garage.

Needless to say that Jeff, to this day, still made every grown mare and stallion nervous. And here Twilight was supposed to hold a grudge against him as well, but she had to ask him something however. "Hey Jeff?"

"What do you want?"

"How long has Xavier been here?"

"He's been in his room with that teacher mare for a while now... I don't even wanna think about what they were doing.."

"I need your help. We need to help separate Xavier from Cheerilee and with your strength, we can-"

"Like hell I will!" Jeff interrupted. "I'm not wakin' up that horse fucker! They finally stopped all that racket an hour go! Why the hell do you think I was in the garage in the first place?!" He turned around and grumbled back into the garage where no pony was still allowed. Twilight went deep in thought. If Xavier and Cheerilee have been asleep for an hour...

That's right. The potion's spell is broken when the two affected are out of each other's sight for one hour. Since they've been asleep for an hour from physical exhaustion, they've been out of each other's sight. The spell had broken. It wasn't long before they both woke up, one unintentionally waking the other. Needless to say, they both weren't happy as Cheerilee was heard shrieking as Xavier was swearing.

-Xavier's POV-

"GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM ME!!!" Cheerilee tearily screamed, violently swatting her forelegs at me. "YOU...YOU MONSTER!!"

"FUCK! I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN!! ...Shit Rainbow and Twilight are gonna kill me..."

"I'm never going to get married!!!" She sobbed.

"Look! I don't know what happened either!" Twilight came in through the door. She could smell what went on. We all could. Shitshitshitshitshit... I was fucked. "Twilight! This isn't what it looks like!"

She sighed. I was scared shitless until I heard what she had to say. "It is what it looks like, but it wasn't your fault, Xavier."

"Wait... what? Who's fault was it?" I looked to Cheerilee. She knew what I was thinking.

"What?! Don't look at me like that! I'm not a whorse!!!"

"It's not her's either. You both were tricked into drinking a love poison. You two were under a spell when you both... rutted." Twilight explained. Cheerilee looked like she was about to faint. It took a moment of thinking before I remembered. That punch...

Oh... She gonna feel my wrath tonight...

"BRI-FUCKING-ANNA!!!"

Twilight tried to calm me down. "Xavier! They didn't know better!"

"THEY FUCKING DRUGGED ME!!!" I couldn't think straight. "AND THEY MADE ME...."

"I know. I'll punish them in class tomorrow for this too, but I'm with Twilight. They're little girls. I'm sure they didn't mean for this to happen. Their hearts were in the right place." Cheerilee placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Besides, it's not that bad.. since we both were in love with each other in a way."

"Take deep breaths." Twi instructed.

I did as told. I closed my eyes, breathed in, and then breathed out. When I was done, I faced Twilight. "Twi, tell Brianna she's staying at Fluttershy's for the next few days..." Twilight nodded her head and left.

It was a long moment of silence between me and Cheerilee. An awkward silence in which we could hardly look at each other. Soon after, Cheerilee broke the silence. "Mr. Roberts-"

"Just... call me Xavier."

"Xavier, I'm sorry I accused you, and I'm sorry that I.. indirectly caused this. I didn't expect the girls to go this far, but those four are an unpredictable bunch I suppose."

I didn't even turn my head to her. "We're cool... I just need some time alone.."

"Okay, well, if you need anything from me, you know where to find me.."

"No I don't." I said blankly

"At the bar.. I think I need a drink or twelve..." She left my room, walking in a limp that looked like she would be feeling it for days. It was only me sitting there in my room, alone in the 'good time' stench. I knew that I was going to have to get up soon to put the sheets in the washing machine and hopefully get rid of every ounce of evidence of today ever happening. A laundry load, shower, and a can of odor-eliminating air freshener later, I was back in bed, having said nothing to anyone else. The day was far from over, but I didn't care. I wanted it to be as soon as possible. Only one thing crossed my mind before I went back to sleep again.

I fuckin hate Valentines Day...

Author's Note

Chapter 7 everyone. Now we all know why I had rated this fiction M for Mature. Also, I understand that some of the brighter texts from say, Lyra or Joy, or any other bright characters may be hard to read, so I'm going to say that this story may be better off read with adark background. You can do this by clicking formatting. I like reading with the dark background under 'High Contrast'. I'm going to go on ahead and put this in the title description too.

Also, I cannot stress this enough, but although I take great pride in proper grammar, if there are any mistakes, do not leave them in the comments. If a comment is left, I'd prefer it to be about the chapter itself instead of grammatical errors. If I see grammar errors in the comments section, I will delete the comment without making any changes. Please, please, PLEASE inbox me any grammar error's found instead. I'd much rather the comments section be reserved for opinions of the chapter only.

With all of that out of the way, please leave a comment on what you thought of the chapter.

Next Chapter: Intervention Reversal/Another Canterlot Party to Wreck

S2 Chapter 8: The Nightmare Games/Yet another Intervention/Canterlot Party Crashers.

Warning: Memes and random shit incoming. Also, darken the background via formatting. Light-coated pony dialogue below.

-Xavier's Recap-

It was safe to say that I was no longer a virgin. I had expected and was hoping for my first to be with Rainbow when she was ready. Twilight had told Dash about what had happened. She wasn't too happy with the crusaders, but she figured Cheerilee's punishments for them was fair. Basically, not only were they on janitor duty at school, but they had to write a 1200 word essay on the dangers of potion making. That's not what was planned at first. At first, she had them write "I will not poison anypony into fake love" all over the board. However, Apple Bloom was caught cheating using a lined multiple chalk holder so she could write it many times at once. Then, Brianna tried to be cute and write it in Japanese. She wrote "兄と先生がツリーに座って。" on the boards, knowing Cheerilee couldn't read it. She would've gotten away with it too had there not been a Japanese teen in the class. Bri stayed over at Fluttershy's for a while. Although I wasn't mad enough to unleash my wrath upon her the next day, I still didn't wanna see her or her filly friends for a while. That and Fluttershy had her own punishment for her, which required her to be on animal duty. Or should I say... doo-doo-duty. Apple Bloom joined Jack in field work punishment whereas Rarity, being a warrior for love herself, had many lectures of the heart for Sweetie to sit through. Scootaloo, I'm not sure how her parents handled her. I'm sure the girls will think about their actions from now on. How do I know all of this without seeing them? Luna, of course. When I told her about it, she figured it would be better for the both me and Bri if I "banished her to the Fluttershy's Cottage" for a while. I didn't know if I should've laughed at what she said or not, considering her history.

With that said, even after the incident, the girls still hadn't been talking to me. Well, scratch that. Rainbow was the only one, but she had to sneak through the window in bro's room at night. She pretty much confirmed that the others were the reason why she wasn't talking to me. She wanted to remain loyal to us both, but it was becoming really difficult for her and she was hating every moment of it. Last night, I told her that if it were up to me, she wouldn't have to choose, and she shouldn't. Her response was the most passionate kiss she could give, and her telling me that if she were to choose, she'd choose me over them. Of course, I had a better idea. I told Rainbow said idea before she left. With that, I went off to my date with Luna.

-Xavier's Recap Over-

The Nightmare Games

I was on a beach, relaxing on a fold-up beach recliner. I don't remember how long I've been there, but my mind told me to not think about it. All that mattered now was to wait for her majesty's arrival. I didn't really have to wait that long because she was in a really skimpy swimsuit. There was another beach recliner right next to mine. Instead of using that one, she insisted on sharing mine.

"Is this seat taken?" She asked.

"It is. And you'd be able to fit fine if it weren't for those chest balloons you have there."

"Thou doesn't seem to mind." She said, her eyes half-lidded.

I wrapped an arm around her. "So what're we gonna do tonight? Finish your game?"

"Nay. We would like to give thine games a break and relax with thee." I scratched behind her ears, causing her to moan a little. In return, she nuzzled against my head.

"You don't look bad tonight." I said, regardless of it being daytime in my dreams. I had been waiting for a comment or a reaction from her, but it never came. When I looked at her, she was looking next to me as if she saw a ghost. "Something wrong?" When I turned away from her to see where she was looking...

...

I didn't expect to see a darker-furred twin, staring at us while lying on the other recliner. Her emerald eyes looked half reptilian, but she was definitely equine, ignoring the sharp fangs in her grin. She was wearing a shiny blue helmet and armor that didn't cover much of her body. I looked back at Luna. "You uh... have a twin sister or something?"

Ignoring me, she glared at the other. "What are thou doing here?!"

Grinning, the other mare replied. "Thou seem to be having a lot of fun with this creature. T'would be a shame if Tartarus were to be unleashed on this peaceful dream world."

"No thanks. Not a huge fan of tartar sauce.."

"Oh, is thou creature deadly allergic to tartar sauce?"

"Nope. Just don't like it." As soon as I said that, a jar of said sauce appeared out of nowhere and was poured all over both of us. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. "Something on your mind, ma'am?"

"Thou truely doesn't know who I am, creature?"

"Nightmare Moon! Leave us at once!"

"Oh so you're Nightmare Moon! I'm Xavier. Nice to meet ya!" I said, offering a hand.

"Creature! Thou has made a mistake with becoming close with the princess of the night! We know all about your fears, and we will make those fears consume you!!!"

"NO!"

Through Nightmare Moon's evil laughter, she grew into a gigantic mare and spread her wings unleashing a swarm of wasp and mosquitoes. They had swarmed the beach as the skies grew dark and cloudy. Cliche'. Mosquitoes were swarming and landing on me. I watched as their bellies became full of my own blood. Wasp landed on me all over, a few going up my nose and in my ears. And to top it of, she made the surrounding sand form a tight tomb around me, trapping me within a tight space full of mosquitoes and wasp, and even brown recluse spiders. Fortunately, since I knew it was all a dream, it didn't bother me much. Actually, it did. It pissed me off. Game on, bitch.

"Xavier! Can thou hear us?!" I could hear Luna calling out to me.

"That's right! Give in to your-" The sand tomb exploded, shooting sand and dead bugs everywhere. In my place, stood a bald man wearing a yellow jumpsuit, red gloves and boots and a white cape flowing in the wind.

"WHAT?!"

"Haven't you been paying attention?" I said, walking from behind Luna. "There's a reason I don't have nightmares." Nightmare once again tried to entrap me with my own fears. This time when the sand tomb exploded, a Caucasian red headed bearded male wearing jeans,a white T-shirt, boots, and a hat took my place. "Do you really think it was Luna that was really in control of all of those dream scenarios? Nah, that was all me. This creature knows how to control his own dreams." The red head spontaneously appeared on her shoulders. By the time Nightmare noticed him, he had already gave her his skull-crushing lone star roundhouse kick. I could feel Luna's flinching. As Nightmare stumbled forward, the caped baldie jumped up to her stomach and, in one punch, made her explode into pieces. Luna could only stare in awe, her mouth agape at what was now known as the end of Nightmare Moon.

...

Yeah right. I'm not done with you yet. The night had just started.

The bloody pieces started to come together to form a normal sized anthro Nightmare Moon, who was wondering how she was alive. Luna looked at me as if I had grown an extra limb on my forehead. "Has thou gone mad?!?"

"Nope. Just having fun." I said, walking up to Nightmare who was backing away from me. I simply bowed. "Konichiwa and Sayanora." A green tentacle had came out of the sea and wrapped itself around her leg and pulled her screaming into the ocean. Pieces of her armor flew out of the water and onto the shore. Before Luna could say anything, I silently counted from three using my fingers. Nightmare Moon was now naked and exposed, erupted from the surface, now having three more tentacles wrapped around her limbs spread out. The creature who the tentacles belonged to also rose to the surface, revealing it to be the head of every humans favorite ogre.

"WHAT!!! ARE YOU DOING!!! IN MY SWAMP!!!"

I couldn't resist when the music started playing.

"Somebody once told me
The world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed."

Four more tentacles came out of the water as the ogre head kept his smile.

"She was looking kinda dumb
with her finger and her thumb
with the shape of an 'L' on her forehead"

The Shrekkan, I call it, had two of his tentacles wrap around her mouth and her horn before going back under, taking Nightmare for a ride.

"Well, the years start comin and they don't stop comin'.
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun.
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb."

The Shrekkan looked like he was so enjoying himself, tossing the villainess from tentacle to tentacle like a play toy.

"So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets?
You'll never know if ya don't go.
You'll never shine if ya don't go."

Luna couldn't decide if she would listen and watch me sing, or watch what was happening off shore. Saitama stared at the sight with a that blank open-mouthed smile.

"Hey now! You're an all star!
Get your game on! Go play!
Hey now! You're a rock star!
Get the show on! Get paid!"

I poofed a tub of popcorn in front of Luna. She started sharing with Saitama, Chuck, and a random raptor.

"All that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold."

The Shrekkan had her raised in the air as his tentacles slowly spread out all of her limbs. More tentacles were approaching her.

"Somebody onced asked
could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place."

She looked pretty exhausted. She woke up when she saw the tentacles and looked at us pleadingly, shaking her head wildly. The others nodded their heads before Shrekkan did his thing.

"I said 'Yup.
What a concept.
I could use a little fuel myself
and we could all use a little change.'"

Luna couldn't turn away from what was happening, greatly being thankful that it wasn't her out there.

"Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'.
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun.
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb"

Tentacles went through every hole in Nightmare's body. Muffled screams and moans could barely be heard over my singing.

"So much to do, so much to see,
so what's wrong with taking the backstreets?
You'll never know if ya don't go.
You'll never shine if ya don't glow."

To say the villainess didn't look so good would be the understatement of the year. Her eyes were rolled to the back of her head as she realized just how helpless she was I'm her situation.

"Hey now! You're an all star!
Get your game on! Go play!
Hey now! You're a rock star!
Get the show on! Get paid!"

Luna got up and tapped me on the shoulder and motioned for me to stop. I turned to Shrekkan and did the 'cease motion. He slammed his victim face first into the sandy shore before releasing her and going on his way.

"All that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold."

Nightmare was slowly and weakly crawling away from us, only to have her blocked by Chuck Norris. He knelt down to her current level, staring into her soul with judging eyes.

Wait for it...

"P-please! Have mercy!" Nightmare cried. In return, he extended a hand to her in which she gladly accepted...

...before a fist came out of his beard and knocked her out cold. Luna and I were rolling in the sand laughing.

"Sorry. Did you wanna have a turn?"

"Nay, nay. We think thou has given her what she deserved."

We stood there alone with the unconscious Nightmare. "So what exactly do we do with her?"

"We don't know how she came out if us, but we don't want her back." Luna sighed. "Alas, we may have no choice but to keep her from burdening thee any further." she said sadly.

Actually... "I don't think she'll be doing me any harm. I don't mind keeping her in my head. Better than risk something happening to piss you off to the point of her taking over again." I shrugged. "She can't do shit to me."

"You would do that for us?! OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!" Luna squealed, pulling me into a hug, for the 20th time, suffocating me in her chest balloons. I still hugged back.

"No problem." I snapped my fingers, having a French maid outfit appear on 'Nightmaid Moon.' This got a few giggles from Moon Butt. "I'm sure I can get her to behave."

"Careful, Xavier. 'Tis a feisty one that is." She playfully warned as a collar and leash appeared on Nightmare Moon.

"Oh yeah?" I grabbed a hold of the leash and splashed a bucket of water over her that I had made spontaneously appear. When Nightmaid woke up sputtering, she stood up and tried to break for it, only to be clothe-lined by her collar.

"ACK!!! ..Wha-"

"Yeah, Luna's leaving you here in my head." Luna nodded.

"No."

"Yup."

"NO!"

"And to prove to her I can make you behave, I want you to kneel before me!"

Fear grew to pride-fueled rage. "NEVER! I WILL NEVER BOW DOWN TO YOU, MONSTER!!"

"Oh. You wanna see a monster? Well then." I turned, facing the ocean while cupping my hands around my mouth. "Somebody once told me-" And her fear returned as she shrieked and got on her knees, bowing while shaking. Luna couldn't stop laughing.

"We think we found a new favorite song."

Yet Another Intervention

(Wednesday 2/15)

The morning was rather simple. Go out, check for requests, do the job, get paid, you know, the norm. Jack was probably still suffering at Sweet Apple Acres, may God help him. I was feeling in the mood for some sweets, and the markets were still open. I had gone over to Bonbon's stand she had. Unfortunately, she set up her shop infront of Golden Oaks. Yeah, I'm getting my shit and leaving. Lyra was there, so I assumed she was assisting. However, she looked pretty bored. That was until I stopped in front of their stand. Her face lit up like the fourth of July.

"Hey Xavier, how can we help yo-"

"HI XAVIER!!" Lyra screamed.

I gave them a two-fingered salute. "Sup ladies?" I was pretty much used to Lyra's excitement around us. Bonbon? Not so much. She had slammed her head on the stand, groaning at her roommate's sugar-high antics. Smiling deviously, my inner troll needed a snack as well. "Hey. There's nothin to be embarrassed about. Lyra and I are cool!" I said, rubbing said mare's mane while scratching behind her ears. She bit her bottom lip, starting to tremble as I did so, letting out muffled squealing. I looked back at Bonbon, noticing her face was still down on the stand. This won't work if you're not looking. "I was just hoping for a sweet treat."

This got her attention as she looked up, smiling. "Really? Well if you're looking for choc-Oh Celestia no! Now you've done it!" I snickered while grinning. She looked at me, bemused. "You know, since you two get along so well, how about you take her along with you then?"

"REALLY?!?" Lyra's eyes were practically sparkling at this point as Bonbon was now the one staring deviously at me. I see what you're doing.

Smiling at her attempt to throw me off with an unexpected tag-along, I shrugged. "Sure. Got nothin else to do. My time is free. Besides, lack of human recognition's probably why she's bouncier than Jonathan on a sugar rush. Kinda feel bad." They don't call me the victory snatcher for nothing. I thought as I felt an extra weight around my sides. I looked down to see Lyra clinging on to me, cheesing.

Bonbon rolled her eyes. "She wasn't doing anything but eating ugly candy anyway."

I was being honest when I said I had nothing better to do. Lyra and I went to the park, her still clinging on to me. We sat by each other on the first bench we came across, with Lyra sitting in a way that was meant for humans to sit.

"Lyra, are you sure you're supposed to be sitting like that? I don't think your... anatomy... is built the same as mine." I motioned to her. "Your backbone's gotta be killin' you."

Instead of an actual response, she grabbed my hand with her hoof and placed it on her head. I did what she wanted me to do and scratched behind her ears, petting her. No one was bothering me, I didn't care if I was being stared at or not. I just wanted to relax for a while, so that's what I was gonna do. However, a moment later I got bored. What does a guy like me do when he gets bored on a day with nothing else to do? Easy! We play video games. I looked over to Lyra to find her leaned back, snoozing. I took that opportunity to bail and head home.

-3rd Person POV-

As Xavier headed up to the front door of his home, he unlocked it and opened it up. He went to the gaming room only to find five of the six girls, Jeff, and Jack, the later two not looking so happy. "What's going on?" he asked. Fluttershy shrunk behind her mane as expected. Rainbow was avoiding eye contact. Pinkie, although her mane was as fluffy as usual, wore a nasty glare along with Applejack. Rarity was missing. "Where's Rarity?"

"She has business in Canterlot on a business trip. Please, take a seat." Twilight commanded, looking serious.

"Okay?" Xavier complied and took a seat next to Jack. "So what's with the thick atmosphere here?"

"We're havin' an intervention."

Jeff instantly grunted. "About what?! I got shit to do and I don't got all day to do it. Get to the fuckin point! What're all of you bitchin about now?!?"

"This is about that mean prank you set up! And breaking a Pinkie Promise!" Pinkie chipped in.

"I told you. I can't make a pinky promise to someone without a pinky finger. I found a loophole." Xavier said, grinning.

Jeff stood up and started walking towards the front door. "Just where the hay do ya think you're goin'?" AJ asked.

"Yer wastin my time over bullshit and I'm not havin it." Opening the front door, he stepped out before turning to everyone." Lil advice for you drama queens: It's a damn joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard!" Jack and Xavier were left chuckling after Jeff was gone.

"Good advice." Xavier said. He was silenced by the looks the girls, excluding Rainbow, were giving me.

"These pranks have to stop."

"They're goin too far!"

"They're mean!"

After a while of looking at the girls, Xavier looked at Rainbow Dash. Her eyes avoided his the moment they made contact. "Don't look at Rainbow. This intervention was her idea." More silence. Jack couldn't even think up of a joke to lighten the mood this time. After a moment, Xavier stood up from his seat.

"Fine. You girls win." This opened all of the girls' eyes. Xavier gave a weak smile. "Yeah, I just thought it'd be fun to mess with everyone, ya know? Try to make things interesting, or just keep myself from being bored."

"Really? So, no more?" Twilight asked. I can't believe we're finally getting through to him! This is way easier than I thought it'd be.!

Xavier shook his head. "Nope. No more. I'm gonna completely change for you girls because I care about you so much. I won't bother you anymore, Fluttershy. I'll see about making sure Bri stays out of your hair too." A faint gasp came from the timid pegasus. "Twilight, I'll stay out of your hair too. I've just been trying to spend more time with you, but you know, you're right. You're too busy with your studies and running your library on a daily basis. I'll leave you to that."

Twilight was now getting visibly uncomfortable "Xavier, I-"

"No, no, you're right. If I'm that bad, there'll need to be changes. Pinkie, Dash, I guess I'm out of the pranking gang. It was fun, but it seems no one enjoys my pranks anymore. No more jokes either. I won't even make a human reference again."

Everypony's ears were folded to their sides, Rainbow being next to talk. "Then I guess this is it then. It's over." Everyone gasped as Rainbow stood up to leave. "You're not the fun and loving cool guy I fell for anymore. You're gonna change into a completely different pony that I don't wanna herd with, and you get rid of everything that makes yourself who you are so easily too! I'm done! Goodbye Mr. Roberts."

"Loyalty my ass..." Jack mumbled.

The remaining four watched as Dash trotted out of the house, the only sound being her hooves going quieter as she left. "Well, hope this is what you girls wanted. I'm going to go upstairs." Xavier stood up and made his way to the stairs.

"Xavier, please, come back and sit down. We didn't mean-" Twilight said softly. He was already going up the stairs. However, no one could see the mischievous grin on his face.

-Xavier's POV-

I headed straight to my room finding Rainbow on my bed, sitting there with a proud look on her face. She looked like she had became the leader of the Wonderbolts, became President and seized all means of production in one day. Closing the door and locking it, I went over to Dash and fist/hoof-bumped her.

"Think the plan'll work?" She whispered.

"After your performance? Holy shit! Even after the Mare Do Well prank I pulled on you, you never sounded so cold!" I quietly said. "I was almost convinced you really would leave me like that. ...You wouldn't, would you?" I asked nervously.

"It depends. You gonna stop being the awesome human I love hanging around with?"

"Like hell I will." I told her. Rainbow's ear twitched as we could hear hoofsteps coming up the stairs.

"I'm gonna go, okay?" I nodded my head. She planted a quick kiss before flying out of the window. I closed it after her. There were three feint knocks. I hurried up and got in bed. I also grabbed my phone and started recording. I've never faked crying before, but I made sure they could hear.

"Xavier? Are you okay?" I heard Twilight say. "Look, come out. Please? We're sorry." I cupped my hands around my mouth, took a deep breath, and let out a loud wail. The door knob rattled as I heard Twilight swear the house's magic resistance. I stated at the door for a moment. She should know when the doors are locked. "Look, maybe we were too hard on you. Xavier, we're sorry about trying to change you.. You're our friend, and so is Jack. We should've just accepted who you are, and your weird sense of humor is just a part of you. And maybe I should make more time for you. I do love you after all." She mumbled softly.She still isn't used to saying that?

"You mean it?" I said, fake sniffling.

"Yes. We all mean it. Right girls?"

"Yeah."
"Yup."
"Mhm"

"Pinkie Promise?"

They all chanted that ridiculous phrase.

I grabbed my phone, still recording, and unlocked the door. I went back to my bed and sat, aiming the phone's camera at the door. "Come in." When the door opened, and they all came in. Fluttershy looked as if she was crying, Pinkie and AJ wore shameful faces, whereas Twilight looked worried. When Jack came in, he gave an irritated expression.

"Why are you recording?"

"Just catching the looks on your faces is all." I said, grinning.

Twilight stared for a moment with the others, looking like she had blown a few gears in her head. "What?!"

AJ looked pissed again, stomping towards me. "Why you no-good flat-footed bald-faced-"

The farm pony's were interrupted by Pinkie's laughter. And this wasn't the crazy angry laughter, but genuine.

"Good one Eggsy!" Pinkie said.

AJ looked puzzled. "What do you mean, 'Good one?' Ah have more than half a mind ta shove my buckin legs so far where the sun don't shine for this here stunt he just pulled."

"You girls did deserve it though." Jack said, shaking his head. "You practically did cause him his relationship with Rainbow."

"No they didn't. She was in on it. We both just decided to teach you both a little lesson. One, about getting over petty shit. Two, to not pressure anyone against their will to strain a healthy relationship between someone else." I snapped my fingers. "Stick that in your next report." I said, throwing on an "obey" hat and shades.

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. I may not like your pranks, but they were harmless, and we acted foals. I know we don't deserve it, but can you find it in your heart to forgive us?" she said, giving me the eyes I'm totally immune to.

"He's the one actin like a darn foal." AJ mumbled. It's called trollin' hun.

"Sure," I said. Before they could even sigh in relief, I held up a finger. "But under two conditions. One, AJ must free Jack. He's your boyfriend, not your slave." Jack silently mouthed 'Thank you' to me.

"Now see here! Ya can't-"

"AJ!"
"Applejack!" Twi and Jack shouted. Cowgirl's gonna go out the window.

"AJ, babe, look. I know I'm sorry about the prank and all, but don't ya think I've done enough?" Jack said. "It's been weeks, and I have a life too you know!" Yeah. God knows how many jobs I had to do alone where he would've come in handy.

"Oh alright. You did enough." She said, turning to Jack. "Sorry. Ah guess ah may have got a bit overboard there makin' ya work for so long."

"And what's your second condition?" Twilight asked.

"Six more favors."

"Three."

"Seven."

"Five?"

"Nine."

"Seriously?!" she protested.

"Can do this all day." I said, smirking.

"Ugh! Fine! Nine more favors!"

I scratched behind Twilight's ears. "Don't worry Twilight. The twelve favors you now owe me won't be too bad. In fact, you may be able to learn new things by doing them."

Rolling her eyes, Twilight had sat next to me. She took out a pen and paper and started writing a letter to the Princess. While she did that, I had crawled under my sheets.

"Xavier?" I turned to Twilight. She was looking at me from her side.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you like pulling pranks so much? I know the girls and I have been a bit angry towards you, but you have to admit that sometimes you do behave foalishly sometimes." She went back to writing.

"Well, being honest, I pull pranks on friends and those I care about. Rarity was a special case, but only because I felt pulling pranks on her was the best way to get at her. I like picking on you the most though. Your reactions are the most priceless to me." I said, scratching behind her ears. She hummed lightly, enjoying my touch. "Think of it this way. When I stop messing with you, that is when you should be worried."

In turn, she smiled, nuzzled and pecked my cheek. "I don't know what it is that makes you so annoying, yet cute at the same time."

"I dunno either." I said. "I guess you're just attracted to trolls."

She shook her head, humming playfully. "Hm... It's not that. Why do I like you so much?" I slapped her paper and pen out of her magical grasp and threw them both on the floor. This earned a glare from her. "Hey! I was still writing th-hmmmph..." That was all she could say before I pulled her under the sheets and kissed her. She returned the kiss before pulling away, puffing her cheeks. "You're not playing fair."

"I rest my case." I teased.

Canterlot Party Crashers

(Thursday 3/2)

It was about a few weeks later when I found myself sitting in a chair in front of my house in my Redskins hooded windbreaker sports jacket.Because fuck dem Cowboys. I was doing nothing in particular, having the day off. Today was a special day however. It was the bookworm's birthday today. Why am I sitting here instead of getting her something for her birthday? Because I'm not the type to put things off until the last minute. ...okay most of the time I'm not the type to put things off until the last minute. However, Twilight had other wishes for today. She had planned on going to Canterlot that afternoon so Rarity could be involved. So here I was, sitting on my lawn in my casual clothes while waiting for everyone. I wasn't on my own for Rainbow was using me as a lawn chair to nap on. Not that I cared in the least. I may've dozed off a couple of times while waiting for everyone else. I just enjoyed the peace while I could.

"EGGSYYYYYYYYY!!!"

...and it was good while it lasted. I opened an eye go see Pinkie bouncing in front of me. Ritalin, Pinkie needs you. "Whatchu wont, Pepto Pony?"

"Twilight says to have everypony ready and at the train station in one hour and I said 'Okiedokie Loki' and came all the way down here to tell you that Twilight wants you to be-" I clamped her mouth shut faster than Shrek could clamp Donkey's.

"I got the message, Pinks. Breathe."

"What's going on?" Rainbow said, running her eyes.

Before Pinkie could use her voice again, I told her what I was told. "I'm gonna get the guys." I got up when Dash did and went inside. I didn't really do much besides yell "THE MARES ARE READY GUYS! GET YOUR SHITS TOGETHER AND C'MON!" I went to get a few things (including my gun because Canterlot) and led the group to the train station where we met Twilight and the rest of the girls. Twi didn't look too happy, tapping a hoof on the ground repeatedly.

"Sup girls?" I said.

"Xavier!" I had only blinked before Twilight was on her hindlegs and in my face. "You are five point seven seconds late! The train to Canterlot is about to leave in a few minutes!"

What? You're joking.

"Punctuality isn't your thing, I know, but I go by a schedule for a reason you know! What would've happened if the train left without you?! We would've had to leave you behind!"

It's your birthday... Must... resist... giving... sass...

"Try to stick to the schedule, okay? I said an hour, not an hour and five point seven seconds. One. Our. Got it?"

Don't... facepalm...

Regaining my composure after the internal battle I was having, I simply nodded my head. "My apologies, Twilight. You're right. I'll do better next time."

This seemed to have caught everyone off guard. Everyone was looking at me with a surprise expression on their faces. Twilight blinked. "O...kay. That's good. We're riding in the first class car." She turned away, looking at me one last time before walking to said car.

Jack waved his hand in my face. "You okay there, man? You'd usually call her out or somethin." Rainbow nodded her head, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I'm just giving her a break today. What's wrong with that?" I shrugged, following Twilight. The others followed suit shortly after shaking off their shock. I was walking closely behind Twilight when we went into our car. It was fancy to say the least.

"Hey uh, Twilight? Why the fancy car? Not questioning you or anything. Just curious."

"About that.." She shifted nervously staring up at me. "I may've put it on your tab..."

I could feel my eyebrow twitch. It's her birthday... It's her birthday... It's her birthday...

"Well, I don't mind. It's your birthday after all. I'd be honored to pay for... everyone's tickets when we get back..."

"Really?!?" Twilight stared wide-eyed at me. "Well.. thanks. I was teasing you, but thanks. Being a personal student of the princess has its merits."

"Hahaha, good one.." It's her birthday.

While everyone was getting in and settling, I noticed Twilight still staring at me from the corner of my eye. Ignoring it, I leaned back for a little shut eye as the train started moving. I didn't fall asleep though, for I could still hear everything going on around me. That and I wasn't really sleepy. Consider it resting.

"So why are we going to Canterlot for Twilight's birthday?" Jack asked.

"We're throwing a party over there for her! And since Rarity couldn't come back to Ponyville for a party because Opalescence is sick, so we're going up there so she can attend the party!" Pinkie, you really love saying 'party' don't you?

"Oh dear.. I hope she's alright."

"Aw don't you fret nothin' sugarcube. Ah'm sure Rares is takin good care of her animal."

"Are you sure, AJ?" Asked Jack. "She puts eye liner on her cat. That can't be good for the feline. Jeff, you ever seen anyone put makeup on a cat?"

"Not in person, but whoever does need goddamn help." Jeff grumbled.

It was getting to be a long ride that eventually I was beginning to actually fall asleep throughout the company banter. It was a slow process indeed.

"Let us go!"

"No."

"Let us go!"

"No."

"Let us go!"

"No."

It's been this way since Clownmare Moon had given up on trying to escape from my head. She finally realized that she couldn't do anything without my say so. She was stuck here, and I wasn't letting her go.

"Let us go!"

"No."

...No matter how annoying she was... I don't know how long I've been asleep for, but I was starting to get bored even in here, so I decided to entertain myself a little. After all, that was what she was gonna be stuck there or anyway.

"Let us go!"

"Bismillah, No I will not let you go!"

"Let us go!"

"Bismillah, I will not let you go!"

"Let us go!"

"Will not let you go."

"Let us go!"

"Will not let you go."

"Let me-" She was interrupted by Queen's singing and eventual guitar and drums playing, which hilariously disgruntled her to tears. I had the feeling that if she could, she'd tear me limb from limb seven times from the look she was giving me. "One day... We are going to find our way out of this Tartarus hole and when we do, WE WILL GET OUR REVENGE ON THEE, AND WHEN WE DO, THOU WILL RUE THE NIGHTS THOU FORCED US TO BE THY'S DREAM PLAY TOY!!!"

"Riiiight. How're you gonna get out? Magic?"

"Yes! That's right! Thy hath no magic abilities! Fool! Because of thy blunder, we shall use our magic to-"

"High magic resistance."

"...What?"

"High magic resistance. I'm magic resistant. Meaning I am highly resistant to magic. Meaning it'd take a lot of magic to even have me in a magical grip, and even the princesses can't hold me for more than three minutes." The little hope she had in her eyes was extinguished in a blink. "That's right." I could've told her that I could still be hurt by physical means, but that'd be pointless.

"WE HATE THEE!!!! WE HATE THEE SO MUCH!!!" she screamed. A remote appeared in my hand as I pressed the mute button. I couldn't hear anything, but her mouth was moving a mile a minute. She noticed no sound was coming out.

"Xavier."

I could feel the world shaking.

"Xavier."

I looked at Clownmare Moon and waved at her. "Looks like my time here is up, I think."

"Xavier, we're here." The voice said, followed by more shaking.

"Yup. That confirms it. See ya tonight Nightma-"

*SLAP!*

"AH!! GODDAMNIT!!!" I yelled, rubbing the stinging sensation on the back of my neck. I was rudely awakened by my best friend and Rainbow's laughter.

"Jack! What was that for?! He was waking up!"

"Works every time. Heheh." Jack chuckled. Yeah, you'd better sleep with one eye open, Mr. Williams. I looked out of the window to find that we were at the train station. Jeff and bro had already stepped off of the train. We unexpectedly received a warmer welcome from some of those who remembered the four of us from the Gala last year, though specifically from the mares. We just smiled and waved our way to the palace, while the more upper crust ponies gave us the stink eye still. Then my waving hand turned into the waving middle finger. Dash chuckled at the antics, and Twilight raised an eyebrow at me.

I whispered to Dash. "You didn't tell her about what that hand gesture means, right?"

"Nope!" Good.

We were left alone for the most part as we walked through the palace grounds led by Twilight. How anyone would remember where to go and where to turn in this palace was beyond me. Shouldn't be surprised. It's Twilight we're talking about. It felt like we were going around in a maze. It was a quiet walk for even Pinkie didn't say anything. The silence was broken soon enough.

" ♪This is the hall that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends. ♪" Jack started singing

" ♪Some ponies started walking it, not knowing where it was, but they'll continue walking it, forever just because. ♪" Pinkie continued

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Jeff yelled.

After a while of endless walking, we found ourselves outdoors again, heading towards stairs that spiraled up a tall tower.

"She should be right up there." Twilight said. The three other human in the party groaned.

"You've gotta be kidding me!!"
"Seriously?"
"You shittin me?!"

"Okay. I'll carry you up there, Twi." I picked up the purple unicorn who squeaked when she was lifted and started walking.

I could hear my friends murmuring behind me. I payed it no mind as I kept walking. I did notice that Twilight was staring at me as I carried her. She looked concerned. It looked like she wanted to say something, but thought nothing of it afterwards as she got comfortable. The trekking lasted a good five minutes. When we reached the top, Twilight was really excited that she practically leaped out of my arms and in front of the door with the other girls. I, almost forgetting how high up I was, almost sat on the rails like a dumbass. Bro had to pull me off before I went overboard and fell backwards. It wasn't gonna be a short fall. When the door opened, the girls screamed "Surprise", literally scaring the consciousness out of her.

I had a good idea why Rarity was dressed up fancy, and it wasn't because of her 'sick' cat. Before Rarity woke up and closed the door, I was able to see Opalescence sitting on the bed looking as fine as ever, minus the makeup. I wasn't gonna say anything though. I'll let Twi and her friends handle this one.

"Well, I'm headed back down." I said, already on my way down the stairs.

"Why?"

"Because he almost fell over the rails." Bro stated.

"Yeah, that and I'm just bored."

"Just be at the Canterlot Castle Ballroom by seven!" Pinkie called out.

"Kay!"

The four of us went back down to the castle halls, and funny enough, we all ended up getting ourselves lost. There were so many turns, stairs, corners, dead ends, you name it. We've even passed Luna's and Celestia's rooms multiple times. Why?

"Hey uh.. should we ask for directions?" I asked.

"No."
"Nope."
"Fuck that shit!"

That's why. None of us wanted to ask for directions. I've lost count of how many guards and maids we passed by, some of them more than once. I noticed a trio of guards who were eager to stay out of our way. For any who plays Left 4 Dead, you know when you're the last one alive and you find yourself cornered by two hunters and a tank? That's the look those three had when they saw us, and they passed us quickly. What's their deal? When I turned to keep walking, I instantly felt the impact of a tackle. I didn't know what was happening, but it was really hard to breathe.

"XAVIER! WE ARE SO HAPPY TO SEE THEE! Thou should've told us that thou were coming for a visit!" Of course...

"Luna.. Can't breathe..." She quickly let go. I was well elevated from the ground before she did and ended up landing right on my ass. Ass + marble floor = not a good landing.

"We apologize for our excitement but it's been a while since we met in person, face to face. That and we worry about her giving thee any trouble."

"Yeah, I know. And she's not giving me any major trouble. Just her annoying monologues and constant begging for me to let her go. She's a clown now, and she is piiiiissed." I chuckled.

Luna nodded her head, trying her best not to laugh. "We see."

"Well, what do we have here?" Jack said, smirking.

"Looks like Moon Butt's got a thing for your bro, eh Trae?" Jeff said.

Luna's face had a tinge of red on her cheeks when she turned to the others. "'Tis not how it looks. We are merely best friends as thou would call it."

"More like close friends." Jack started.

"With benefits." Bro teased.

"Why are thou here in the first place?" Luna huffed.

"It's Twilight's birthday today and she wanted all of her friends to be involved at her party, but since Rarity had business here and couldn't make it back, Twi decided to bring the party here."

"We see."

"We're supposed to be there by seven, however, if we can't make it through this maze of a palace you have here, we might not even make the train back home." I explained.

"Thoust know that it is six fifty nine. We had already raised the moon." Fuck Twilight's gonna be pissed. "Just follow us. We will lead you there."

"What the hell is with all the 'we' and 'us' talk? Who else are we supposed to follow?" Jeff complained.

I shook my head as Luna frowned. "Jeff, it's just her quirk. Like yours is swearing in nearly every sentence."

"Owned."

After a while, we found our way to the ballroom. Everyone seemed to be having fun. Pinkie had her party cannon out while Rarity had a croquet mallet for some odd reason. Needless to say we were late to arriving to Twilight's party, and needless to say, Twilight wasn't happy with us at all. She teleported in front of us, or more so in front of me.

"You four are late! Do I need to lecture you again on the importance of punctuality?!"

We all looked at each other. Once again, I surprised the others with my lack o a witty comment or excuse. Instead, I got on my hands and knees in a dramatic Japanese apology. "Gomenasai. We got lost in the halls and no one wanted to ask for directions..."

This definitely caught Twilight by surprise. Rarity rolled her eyes. "What is with stallions and not asking for directions?" Shut up Rarity!

"Uh, Xavier. It's okay. You can get up now. In fact, we were about to join a party out in the gardens for Rarity with her business friends."

I got up to my feet as I heard Jeff say something about me being whipped. Shooting him a look, I nodded my head. "Sure. I don't see why not." When I followed the ponies out, we went to the gardens to find some of the upper crust ponies that the four of us tried not to associate ourselves with.

"Guys. Guys... I think we should kind've stay out of sight. If these ponies are cool with the girls, then we join in."

"You sure?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. Sounds like the best idea. I don't think these types are fans of ours." And with that, we watched our friends raise hell at the party. Pinkie hogging the cake with her face, Rainbow sucking at croquet, Fluttershy causing misfortune for any pony standing under a tree, Applejack being a farm girl, and Twilight doing... whatever the hell that was. Three of us tried to hold in our laughter. One of the upper crust, a white blue-maned mustached stallion wearing a monocle walked up to Twilight and started talking. We were too far to hear, but Rarity rudely interrupted them. Soon, the ponies were seperated. The uppercrust were on the side near us, while our friends were on the other side of the party.

-No one's POV-

The moment was tense for Rarity. On one side, were her friends from Ponyville who she's grown rather fond of and attached to, and were willing to stick with her through thick and thin. On the other side were some of the most powerful and most influential ponies of Canterlot who would no doubt help her achieve her true dreams of fame and fortune as a fashion designer, and ponies who shares the more sophisticated lifestyle she prefers. To everyone's surprise, even to some of the humans hidden somewhere, she chose her friends.

"Yes I do know them. They may not be sophisticated like you Canterlot ponies, but they are my best friends, and they are without a doubt the most important ponies I know."

And then this happened.

"Important ponies? These Ruffians?" One spectacled pony mocked.

"Don't make me laugh?" The mare beside him laughed with him. After a moment if obnoxious laughing, the two ponies felt an uneasy presence from behind them. when they turned around, four tall figures along with the Night Princess were standing around them.

"They're not important? I believe one of them is Princess Celestia's personal student. Question is, who the fuck are you?" One of them said.

As the mare's legs were shaking, the stallion spoke. "I am the famous Jet Set. Though I'm surprised even monsters like you've never heard of me."

"Nope. Jack, you ever heard of this guy?"

"Nah, what about you, Trae? Ever hear about a guy named Jet Set?" Jack said, looking at Trae.

"No, not really... oh wait, Xavier. Yes I have. Didn't some Fancy Pants say some Jet Set guy urged the guards to try to kill us?"

"WHAT?!"
"WHAAAT?!"
"NO WAY!!"
"Come 'gain?"
"*whimper*"
"You're THAT Jet Set?!"

"Oh right. I had nearly forgot about that." Xavier said. Now, Jet Set's legs were shaking even more than the mare's. All eyes were on them now.

Surprisingly, the mustached monocle stallion said something. "I say, if it weren't for you, those poor guards wouldn't have gotten hurt. And quite frankly, I admire Rarity for having a more diverse taste in her friends. She seems rather proud and happy to have them. It's more than I can say for you Jet Set."

"So are you going to stop behaving like a pompous douche who loves the smell of his own farts?" Xavier asked. "Or do you wanna have a bad time?"

Jet flinched at the sound of Jeff cracking his knuckles. "I-I think maybe we've been a l-little too harsh on Rarity's choice of f-friends. W-wouldn't you say, Upper Crust?"

"W-why certainly."

The humans backed off, leaving the stallion under the piercing glare of Princess Luna herself. "I believe Fancy Pants has a point. Thou are lucky we have enough mercy to make thee pay for our guards' injuries. Lt. Leatherwing is still limp from what your action caused." Her glare hardened. "Thou best believe we will be keeping an eye on thee, so be mindful of that in the future."

"Y...Y-Yes Princess!" He said, before skittering away like a roach with Upper Crust with his tail between his legs.

-Xavier's POV-

The party continued on and in a short amount of time it was as if there were no troubles at all. Pinkie had just finished eating the rest of the cake that coated her face whereas Rarity was mingling with the upper classed ponies. Fluttershy was feeding her new friends whereas Applejack had gone to clean herself after being told by her boyfriend that this wasn't that kind of party. Everyone was having fun. I was sitting against a tree, star gazing.

"Can you believe that guy?" Rainbow asked, walking up to sit beside me. "The nerve of that pony, calling the guards to attack you out of nowhere! He just assumed you were a monster!"

"Heheh, you're the one to talk." I teased. "Do I have to remind you how we first met? It took Fluttershy to get you to talk to me like a normal person."

"Hey! In my defense you were the one making ponies panic!"

"I know, and it was fun while it lasted." She giggled as I put her in a headlock.

"Xavier?" Twilight called from behind me, thus scaring the ever-living shit out of me.

"HOLY- Hey Twi.. what's up?"

She was staring at me with her brows furrowed. "I should be asking you the same. I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while." This got both of our attention. "First was at the train station back in Ponyville when I was upset that you were late, you said you'd do better, and that was it."

"Okay, and?"

"Then, on the train, I said that you were paying for the train tickets. It was a joke, but you thought I was serious and was okay with it. Then you carried me up the tower stairs to see Rarity, and then there was that big apology that happened recently for being late." Her facial expression changed to that of one concerned. "I know you, and none of those are things are what you would normally do. Are you okay?"

Rainbow nodded to her question. "Yeah, X. You telling off that fancy flankhole was the only thing you did today that was normal. What gives?"

I shrugged. "Just figured that for your birthday, I'd give you a break, Twi." I really didn't expect that to become an issue.

"Well, can you please stop it and be yourself!?" she said, raising her voice near the end of her question. Well. Now it's my turn to be surprised. I usually love making Twilight raise her voice at my shenanigans, but I wasn't even trying anything, yet she sounded so serious and there was a hint of pain in her voice.

"I didn't really think it'd upset you, Sparkle Butt. What's up?"

"Well it is!" Twilight yelled, her voice cracking. "Ever since the intervention a while ago, I've been feeling awful about even using my friends to try to change any part of who you are, and today... well, today I-" I cut her off by putting a finger to her lips.

"I think I get it. Sorry for making you worry." I went back to watching the party. "Say, why aren't you uh... doing whatever you were doing earlier? Whatever that was." From the corner of my eye, I could see Twilight's face turning slightly red.

Dash laughed. "Yeah! Was that supposed to be dancing?"

Chuckling, I held up both of my hands. "Hey, I can only poke fun. I can't dance either. That's Jack's department."

"Oh really?" Rainbow continued laughing. "Now that I wanna see!"

"Oh, I only know a few dance moves, such as the robot, moon walk, and for humans that know they can't dance, the 'Shepard Shuffle'."

"Why don't you show us? You've already seen me dancing. I'd like to see how bad you are." Twilight added with a sly smirk.

"Nah, I'd rather not-"

"Think of it as a Birthday present." Damnit.. Fine, if it'll cheer you up..

And then I had proceeded to embarrass myself in front of everyone at the party with my lousy dance moves. No one ever let me live it down for the rest of the night.

...or in my sleep. Luna was still there too.

Author's Note

S2 Chap 8 is done. RELEASE THE SHREKKAN!!! And to answer your question, there are people who can control anything that happens in their dreams, and one of them is writing this fiction for you guys. That's why I love being asleep more than being awake. I HAVE THE POWERS OF A GOD!!!

I'm gonna be real though. I may end up redoing this chapter due to the fact that I think it's too sappy, and the mane 6 may be a bit out of character, and I'm not a fan of a lot of drama. Sorry 'bout that folks. Hopefully the memes are enough to redeem this chapter.

Anyway, I made a blog to ask what you readers want to see more of in my stories, from shipping to action and other things. You guys can pick more than one, but it'd help me prioritize on what you guys like. No, this doesn't mean I'm letting you guys hijack the story or anything, I just wanna know what the readers like. :derpytongue2:

Anywyay, leave a like and a comment on what you thought of the story. I love me some comments. :rainbowwild:

Oh. And remember to inbox me any grammar/spelling errors. Please don't leave them in the comments. :ajbemused:

S2 Chapter 9: Bad Day to Be Honest (Calk Fliats Jaults)

S2 Chapter 9: Bad Day to Be Honest (Calk Fiats Juts)

-Xavier's Recap-

Did I say all night? I should've said all week and half of the next. Word spread like wildfire about my dancing. And I know exactly who the prime suspect is. Fucking Rarity! Every job I had since then, I've been asked to dance. "Hey Xavier can you dance on the roof?" "After Granny Smith's story telling, Xavier, can you dance for the class?" "Hey Xavier, we think your dancing will bring in more customers to my bar!" Fuck that shit. Each time someone asked me to dance, I stopped working and went home. There were a lot of half-repaired fences, roofs, and broken furniture in Ponyville that week. I'm paid to work. Want entertainment? Track down Trixie! And if that was enough, Luna had unintentionally given Nightmare Moon ammo to use against me by joking about my dance moves infront of her. No one even remembers Twilight's dancing. Just mine. And I regretted it oh so much.

At least Twilight left me alone about the dancing for the most part. She was the only one besides Fluttershy to not tease me on my poor dancing skills. I used one of my favors to have Twilight use a duplicate spell on my 3DS XL so Spike wouldn't start mocking me as well. That became an eventual problem for Twilight, Spike having shirking his responsibilities as Twilight's number one assistant and spending most of his time in isolation until he came to our house to hang out. Twilight had decided to 'punish' me by having me over at the library instead. I didn't really do much beside keep her company and maybe help out a little bit, free of charge of course. She seemed to enjoy my company and didn't complain about me picking on and trolling her (Much. She flipped when she woke up to me using her books for dominoes). During her breaks, she'd often rest on my lap while reading a book where I'd occasionally poke her muzzle. I even took a little interest in her studies which surprised her. That was, until she tried to lecture me. Her lectures had many words that I'm sure weren't in the human dictionary, and she didn't even explain what half of them meant. That's why I was only a little interested instead of a lot. I lost interest pretty quickly. So I shut her up with a kiss, being the sly dude I am. She got the message though, not as begrudgingly as she wanted to be. That's when I realized I know how to practically play her like a game. She's lucky I'm not nefarious..

...much.

-recap over-

My hand was over my face as I was currently dealing with a slight annoyance. It's been two weeks. The moment of my embarrassment has passed in the waking realm, but apparently not here. I sat there, hand covering one of my eyes, as the other was peeking between my pinkie and ring fingers, watching Nightmaid laugh at me. Putting her on mute would help, but watching her silently laugh at me didn't make things any better, so I just let her have her moment.

"You know, everyone else has dropped it and moved on from it. Hasn't it gotten old for you too?"

"Neigh, human. We are over one thousand years old and we have doubts that this will never get old! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Luna walked into my dream, wearing a white crop-top t-shirt, hoodie jacket, and capris jeans, just as I covered the other half of my face with my other hand. "Hello, dear Xavier. We hope thou are sleeping well."

"No, I'm not.. This is your fault you know.." I said.

Luna looked sheepish as she chuckled. "We know, and we apologize, but we couldn't help ourselves. Your dancing was the funniest thing we've seen since we were banished."

"And now I don't know how long I'll have to deal with the laughing Nightmaid."

"Perhaps for a couple of months or so."

My head turned to Nightmaid. "Well, hey. I've never seen you dance. You're probably worse than I am." This made Nightmaid laugh even louder. Goddammit...

"HOLY FAUST MY SIDES ARE KILLING ME!!"

"You see, dear Xavier, we are not only famous for being Nightmare Moon and raising the moon itself. On special occasions such as international games, our sister and I often perform on behalf of Equestria. Tia performs her Sun dance, while we perform the Night. Since Nightmare came from us, she too can dance as well as we can."

"Really? You're going to have to show me sometime."

Luna blushed heavily. "W-well... 'Tis been a while since we've performed, and we may be rusty. We never performed in this form before." She gestured to her anthromorphic body. "And we wouldn't want to-"

"I think thee is flustered to have been requested a private performance for her favorite human stallion." Nightmaid mocked...

...before being dropped by a punch to the face from an even more flustered Luna.

"I have no idea why I haven't thought of that for the past two weeks. Knocking her out."

"We haven't a clue either. Tis your dream."

(Monday, 3/13th)

It was pretty early wen I woke up. And when I say early I mean 'before Twilight even gets up' early. She decided to stay with me last night, and judging by her position in bed, decided to fall asleep next to me while using my sleeping body as a breathing book stand. Clever. If it weren't for her closed eyes, I would've thought she never went to sleep. I grew curious and peeked at the book she was reading, but then got bored after reading the first three words of the pages. I stuck a bookmark into her book before closing it. If I were going to be the only one awake at this time without wanting to go back to sleep, I'd rather not spend it doing nothing but lying there staring at the ceiling. I pulled the covers out from under me to-

Okay, I tried to get out from under the covers, but on the other side of me, Rainbow had one of her wings stretched over my stomach. I carefully took her wing off of me and Rainbow did the rest by folding it. When I tried to move however, she mumbled something in her sleep and wrapped her forelegs around my arm. I deadpanned at an imaginary fourth wall. Clingy Rainbow. Once again, I found myself stuck in my own bed. Letting out a sigh, I lied back down and stared at the ceiling in defeat. It was time like those where I missed winter time. I could've been wearing long sleeved PJ's that I could've slipped out of. I'd be downstairs by now if we had the AC at night, but no. Bro says 'We need to put less strain on the generator.' It's solar powered for shit's sake! So it was too warm for long sleeve PJ's, so I lied there for about an hour staring at the ceiling again before I felt the bed shake a little from my right.

"Good morning Xavier." Twilight's awake.

"Yo."

Twilight took a moment to look at my predicament before a smirk appeared on her face. "You're stuck."

"Yup."

"Need any help?"

"Yes please." Her horn glowed and before I knew it, we were down stairs in the basement. Twilight was shaking off her dizziness. "Hey. Thanks. It seems like you're getting better at using magic on me."

"Yeah, but it still takes a lot out of me.." She said, getting herself together. "That counts as another favor by the way."

"Fair enough." I said, planting a kiss on her nose.

Her cheeks turned a slight red. "Well, I'm going to go back to the library to check my checklist for the day. Today's a big day for Applejack."

"You do that." I told her. I nearly forgot that AJ was heading off to Canterlot for some event today and won't be back for a week. Then it hit me. Jack's in Canterlot too! Fuck this is gonna be a boring series of days ahead of me! Unless... Before Twilight could leave, I grabbed her tail to stop her. "Hey uh, need any help?"

Twilight and I were with our friends over by Town Square. Apparently AJ's goal was to donate the winnings to fix the town hall. Whatever happened to using tax payers money- i mean bits to fix up community buildings? Isn't that how that works? I got my eye on you, Mayor.

"Speech! Speech!" Pinkie said, bouncing.

"Aw shucks. Ah'm not much for speeches. But" AJ started, "This here is the nicest sendoff anypony could ask for. Y'all have been cheerin' me on in every rodeo since Ah was a little little pony. So it seems only fittin' to use mah winnin's to fix up town hall. Ah promise to make Ponyville proud."

As the ponies cheered, her friends and I made our way to the train station. I couldn't help but notice while everyone was cheering AJ to win the ribbon, how Mayor Mare kept going on about money. I tapped the mare on her withers.

"Yes, Mr. Roberts?"

"Doesn't Ponyville have something like a treasury full of tax payer's bits or something?" I said with an eyebrow raised.

"Why yes I do, but we have been running low on bits from all of those disastrous disasters."

"Right.." I notice things were silent. The girls were all looking at me as if I've grown an extra eyes. "What? Got somethin on my face?"

"Aren't you gonna say something to Applejack before she leaves?" Twilight asked.

"Oh. Right... uh... I hope you trip and break a leg?" The girls gasped.

"Ex-key-YUSE me?!"

"What an awful thing to say!"

I shrugged. "Just keeping you blind to the eyes of Murphy."

"Who's Murphy?" Pinkie asked.

"I think it's just another human thing." Fluttershy said.

AJ finally got on the train and everyone wished her good luck and said their farewells and whatever Pinkie was saying. When the train was no longer in sight, I went home to get a few things. I don't know about you girls, but I still got work to do.

The rest of the week was mostly uneventful. Day by day, the remainder of us at home did our own thing. The kids hung out with their friends, I hang out with Twilight, Rainbow, and even Fluttershy once (Brianna was still shipping us). Pinkie was planning a "Welcome Back and Congratulations for Winning the Rodeo" party, so she was pretty busy. Things were a bit dull without Jack around. Had to wonder what he was doing in Canterlot. Because he wasn't around, Jack's two brothers ended up staying at the Apple house. Well, besides Jeff, us Roberts siblings had our house again.

(Saturday, 3/18)

Well, today is the day. The day Applejack finally comes back from her Canterlot rodeo games. I was currently sitting at the Sweet Apple Acres Barn. Pinkie, with the help of everyone else, had finally finished the finishing touches of the party. All we had to do was play the waiting game. Well, while I was playing the waiting game, Twilight was once again nagging me about punctuality. I wasn't really listening, just nodding my head while tuning her out. Pinkie's startling Fluttershy to no end while Jonathan and Apple Bloom are hopping around Big Mac in excitement to see AJ and maybe Jack again. I had to clear it with a few of Applejack's other relatives who were (or were trying to be) supportive of me and AJ dating that they had the wrong human.

After a while, we were all hiding in the dark waiting for the cowgirl to trot right through those doors. However, instead of said cowgirl, a mail man came through the door, thinking we through the surprise birthday party for him instead. Twilight, in extreme disappointment, took a letter that was sent from Applejack and rudely slammed the door in front of the poor guy, earning her a slap to the back of her head from me. It's the guy's birthday for cryin out loud. Apparently the message read that AJ hadn't taken the train back to Ponyville. Instead, she said she wasn't coming back. Poor AJ and Poor Jack.

Why isn't AJ coming home for some odd reason? That question was running through my mind. What could've happened to Applejack? It's bad enough that Jack's in Canter- Oooooh. I get it... After finally putting two and two together, my worries were no more.

"Maybe she's hurt. Or sad.. Or scared!!" Fluttershy said, shrinking.

"Or maybe she's not coming back today and forgot to put that on the letter?" I took a guess.

"Well, that is a good possibility," Twilight stated, "but it's good to check on her just to be sure."

"What're we waiting for?! Let's go find her!" Rainbow demanded.

Whatever... I thought, leaving the barn. I thought about leaving for home, but I thought better of it knowing that Twilight, as she's almost always tried to, will show up at my door wanting to drag me along her adventures with her and her friends. For real, can a brother chill? At the very least, I would be able to sleep on the train to Canterlot.

It was storming outside, as it always were where I was headed. The rough seas far below me were going wild as I flew over. I could began to see where I needed to be as I spotted white structures greeting me with lights that stuck out in this ocean planet. When I spotted a platform I could land my ship on, I did before getting out and throwing my hood on. I knew I was supposed to be looking for a bounty hunter here who took part in trying to assassinate a senator.

"Well isn't this a scene?" A voice said behind me. I turned and saw Nightmaid standing behind me. "I always took thee for the sunny type with clear skies." When I saw her, she still had a bag over her eye and the rest of the side of her face from saying something I won't repeat to Luna. I never even imagined a princess could deliver such a savage beatdown. Even after all I've heard about her and how much she attempted to put me through, I sorta felt bit bad for her. Just a little bit. That bag if ice may have been the first act of kindness I've shown towards Nightmaid.

"It's from a movie, not that you'd understand what that is. Secondly, I prefer sunsets." I said. "How's your face?"

"Still sporting a headache." She sighed. "I wish thou would allow me to use thine magic once more."

"I don't think so. I still think you are better off powerless." I shook my head. "I don't need you trying to scramble my brain for control."

"Thou hast no way of using magic." She crossed her arms. "What use would thou even have for us?" Good point. "We know." Stop doing that.

I thought for a moment, ignoring my now damp hooded robe before coming up with a solution. "Tell ya what." I started, clapping my hands together. "I'll give you a little magic freedom if you're a good mare. Fuck up, and 'poof' goes your magic. Capisce?" Nightmaid cocked an eyebrow, tilting her head. For the love of... "Do I make myself clear?" I could read her face like a book, having the hate of submitting to someone else. Alas, she's smart enough to know when to throw in the towel, knowing that I could do anything I wanted to her, and there was nothing she could do about it. Might as well try to get on my good side. It's not a bad side after all. You get privileges.

"Alright already!" She yelled. She walked up close in front of me, glaring down into my eyes while reminding me of her superior height. She closed her eyes before getting down on one knee. "I belong to thee." You were all mine the moment Luna dumped you here. "I will be on thy best behavior.." Or else your magic will be gone again. "And I will do whatever thou wish." No shit. I couldn't help but to smirk at her twitching eyebrow, knowing I was making this difficult on her.

"Are we interrupting something?" Said the voice of Luna who was coming out of the structure behind me.

"Not much, your evil twin is just finally submitting herself to me."

"It seems she has learned her lesson, hasn't she?" Luna said, looking at Nightmaid while cracking her knuckles.

I pat Nightmaid's back when she flinched. "Yeah, no worries. I'm sure she'll behave."

Luna was starting to smile, but then furrowed her brows at me. "You feel bad for her don't you?"

"Only a little. Who knows, maybe she can be reformed, right?" I turned my head to Nightmaid who was then kneeled, hiding behind me.

"Y-Yes! No more! I had enough! Have mercy!" Wow.. must've felt a lot worse than it looked.

"LIKE THEE HAD MERCY ON THINE SISTER BEFORE THOU HAD US BANISHED?!" Luna shouted, using her Royal Canterlot Voice. Before I knew it, a fist flew by my head and Nightmaid was on the ground covering her bleeding nose. "AND NOW THOU TRY TO FOOL XAVIER INTO SHOWING THOU MERCY YOU SHANT HAVE!"

"LUNA GOD-

-DAMMIT CUT IT OUT!!!" I screamed at the two. I realized that I was no longer on the clone homeworld of Kamino, but on the train that had just arrived to Canterlot. Holy shit... Luna is going to break every bone in Nightmare's body while she still can, that poor mare. However, waking up screaming seems to have a few effects, but mostly on those around you, mainly the one that woke you up. Fluttershy was clinging to the car ceiling, Rarity made a 'mistake' with her make-up, Pinkie was laughing whereas Rainbow and Twilight were looking at me, wide-eyed.

"You okay there, big guy?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah, just a minor conflict in my dream world." Hope she's okay.

"You don't say." Twi said, rolling her eyes.

The girls had went to the rodeo to search for Applejack, whereas I went to the palace thinking that being friends with Twilight may've given Jack and Applejack special access. That is if they were with each other. And like hell if I was gonna search the entire palace myself, so I asked around for about an hour, even going as far to ask Celly herself who was far more happy to see me as she was in the middle of her princess sessions or whatever they were called, where she'd listen to whiny nobles and their petty problems or approval for cheap get rich schemes. Luna was thankful that she never got to put up with them, and for their sake, so was Celestia.

"I'm sorry, my little human, but I haven't seen your friends anywhere today. They had left Canterlot for a while now." Goddammit!. "But they were here during the rodeo games. Applejack was in a foul mood when they departed."

I gave out a sigh. "Well, thanks. I'll let you get back to uh..." I said, pointing to a brown fancy-stached pony that was complaining before I arrived.

The princess looked dejected. "Can't you stay for a while longer?"

"You actually know this thing?" the pony asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Twi'd nag my ear off if I did." I shrugged "Gotta go back to let 'em know they bounced." The princess tilted her head. "They left."

"Oh. I understand. I hope our next visit won't be so brief."

"Same."

Leaving the throne room, I went back to tell them that AJ wasn't here, but I was intercepted by Pinkie before I could make it to the rest of 'em.

"Eggsy Eggsy Eggsy!" Pinkie said, bouncing.

"Hey Pinkie. Sup?"

"Twilightsaidshe'swaitingforyoutocomebackbecauseweknowwheretheywentandwhatwastakingsolongforyoutugetbackfromsearchingthepalaceandnowwe'rewaitingforyoutogetbacksowecangotoDodgeJunctionbecausethatiswhereApplejackwentandwe'reallwaitingfor-" I clamped her mouth shut.

"Pinkie, let's just go."

"I'm starting to think I should put you on a leash." Twilight said. We were on the train heading to Dodge Junction, a town somewhere beyond or in the middle of the canyons. "At least then you'll be ready to leave when the rest of us are."

"Yeah, you can try." I shrugged. I cut my eyes at her with a sly smirk. "Or do you think we should put a saddle on you and have me ride on you for the rest of the trip?" Twilight's eyes went wide and her face turned red. She wildly shook her head. "Thought so."

"Are we there yet?" Pinkie whined, her hind legs crossed.

I looked over my shoulder to the bouncing pink pony. "No, but there's a toilet in the back of the car."

"REALLY?!?" Pinkie turned her head, but saw no toilets.

"Oh wait! This is Equestria, not Earth!" I said in faux surprise. "You ponies haven't invented toilets in trains yet. Silly me."

I earned a nudge from Twilight's hoof. "Xavier, bad."

Pinkie groaned out loud. "Somepony please book me on an Earth train!" She bit her bottom lip. "Or at least invent train potties!"

Oh how badly I wanted to troll her and talk about lemonade for the rest of the day there. Rainbow would've had a field day, but the two unicorns would've nagged me the rest of the ride and I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Think maybe Rarity could get into the diaper business?"

Rarity's eye twitched. "Why I'd never! Me? Wasting even a scrap of fabric for diapers?!"

"Relax, Rarity, it's a joke at Pinkie's expense."

"Please don't make me laugh!"

"Hmph!" Rarity stuck her nose in the air. "You might as well have been making it at my expense as well. You have such garish taste."

Just shut up Rarity. Shut up! I noticed Fluttershy staring out the train window with a worried look. No doubt about Applejack. "Hey Fluttershy. Relax. I'm sure she's fine."

"I know, but... I'm still worried. Why wouldn't she come back to Ponyville?"

"It's nice ya care about your friend, but try to stay positive about it. Maybe it's another prank?" I tried to reason. "I mean, Celly did say Jack is with her, so..."

"That definitely does sounds like something you two would do." Rarity agreed.

A half an hour later, we had arrived at Dodge Junction, which looked like a rundown country town that was less lively than that other place we went to a while ago. Applelista or something. I forget. But something I also forgot was the fact that I've never been here before and was the first one out of the train.

"Xavier, Wait!" Twilight yelled, but it was too late. I was already out for the public to see. A mare in a ten-gallon hat and her friend walked by and rolled her eyes.

"Ugh.. looks like 'nother one.." her friend said.

"I just bought me this here hat. Ain't buyin 'nother one."

Watching them go around the corner, I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I think it's safe to say X is right about Jack being here." Rainbow said, flying to my side.

"And that means it's a high possibility that Applejack is here too. Everyone spread out and search for Applejack."

"Rokay Fred!" Twilight and the others looked at me again.

"Another human reference that we don't get?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah." Rainbow answered.

"Now you're catching on, Twi!"

Rolling her eyes, Twilight walked on ahead away from the train station while Pinkie searched for the nearest outhouse. Twilight looked over her withers to look at me. "Xavier, you stay by me. Okay? No wandering off this time." She turned back to look ahead. When she did, I had a mischievous smirk on my face. "I don't need to end up looking for you and Applejack."

"Uh, Twilight darling? He just left." Rarity was right. As soon as she tried to act like my mom, I made a 90 degree angle turn around a building and another into an alleyway. Rainbow Dash was covering her mouth with her hooves trying not to laugh.

"Celestia's HORSE APPLES!!!"

I could feel the anger radiating off of Twilight. I snickered, turning the corner into an alleyway between the train station and another building, only to be tripped by a black and blue Nike's sneaker. After I fell flat on my face, I heard laughing that sounded familiar. I looked up from the ground and saw my best friend Jack, laughing his ass off. You bastard.

"Hahaha, hey Xavier. Watcha doin down here? Long time no speak, man."

"Yeah, nice to see you too. And the girls dragged me down here to this rundown town to search for your cowmare."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Sorry bro. I was dragged here by said cowmare herself so she can make the cash to pay the mayor."

"She lost the rodeo?"

"Lost the rodeo." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "While we're here, ya wanna go to the saloon and get drinks 'n catch up a lil'? AJ's not talkin to me for a while."

"Might as well, right?" I shrugged.

We've been at a bar for an hour or three. Jack was feeling a bit tipsy from his 11th shot of hard cider. Since I didn't drink, I passed on the alcohol. Not that I'm chicken on getting drunk or anything (okay maybe a little), but I'm not really a fan of the alcoholic taste. No beer, liquor, or wine for me. I will pass.

"So bashically... bashically I fuggin pissed off AJ becuz sheeeez.. cheeze mad!" Okay this mofo had too much to drink.

I silently let the bartender know that my buddy's had enough to drink, in which she nodded in response. Someone had to drag him back to wherever he was staying. We were just catching up with each other, but now he was drunk to the point where I could hardly even understand the guy. I ended up carrying him out of the saloon, basically being his crutch. I took a glance of him and he didn't look very well.

"Jack, if your drunk ass vomits on me, I'm dropping you."

"I tries I triesh." Drunk..

"So what inn are you staying in?" I asked

"I'mma stayin' at da Marriott.."

"They don't have those here, Jack."

"Wha, they dont?"

"No, we're not on Earth."

"I wan' my muns back..."

I gave up and went back to where Twilight said we were staying. When we made it to the inn, the girls were already there and headed to their rooms. There was a strong smell of cherries in the air. I didn't even ask about it. My main concern was the drunk I was carrying. Once we we were in, I dropped Jack on the floor in the room I was staying in. The awkward part was that I was supposed to share a room with Twilight and Rainbow, but looks like I had extra baggage.

"Aw, Xavier, did you really have to bring him here?!" Rainbow whined.

"Sorry Rainbow, but he's so out of it, he can't even tell me where he is staying, and leaving him out on the streets would make me a jackass. Sorry."

"He's staying in the bathroom. No hurling on the carpet."

As I was dragging him to the bathroom, he was slurring the opening theme of Family Guy. I placed him in the tub for the night for a reason unexplained yet. Going back to the bed, I had settled down in between my mares.

"So. How did the search go for my two cherry-smelling girls?"

"We found her right after you wandered off again." Twilight said in a sour tone. "And we've been trying to find out why she wasn't coming back to Ponyville ever sense."

"Oh I knowz tha' anser!" Jack slurred.

"Really?"

"Tell us!"

"Only if yas gimmez a turkeh sammich!" Dammit Jack...

I shook my head. "I wouldn't take his words seriously at this point. He's way out of it."

"Up yerz!" Jack called out.

"We had an accident at the cherry packing factory and now we smell like cherries."

"At least we'll have answers tomorrow. She pinkie promised to tell us what's going on."

"Sounds like you both had a rough day. I think you two should 'cherry' up." I joked. Jack was laughing in the other room.

The girls gave bemused looks, thinking otherwise. "That was terrible."

Yeah, you're right, Rainbow. Guess I cherry bombed that joke." Jack was dying in the other room.

"Xavier, if you keep this up, you're sleeping on the floor." Twilight warned.

"..."

"Yeah, that'd probably be for the best. I wouldn't wanna risk 'popping your cherries.'"

The next morning, after I finished spending time with my two favorite dream horses, I woke up stiff with the sudden urge to stretch. A few loud pops later, I picked myself off of the floor and looked on the bed. The girls were gone. I shrugged and went to check on Jack in the bathroom. His snoring said he was still in the tub where I left him. It was time for him to wake up, so I put his head under the faucet and turned the cold water on.

"AH! WHAT THE FUCK!" He screamed. "COLD! COLD! COLD!"

I laughed as he flailed around. "Hahaha that's for tripping me, asshole."

"OH IT'S SO COLD!" He screamed while holding his head. "AH! HANGOVER!!"

"Well, next time don't get so drunk to the point where you can't even walk to your place of staying." I shrugged, shaking my head.

"Oh why do you hate me so?" he pouted.

I sighed, walking out of the bathroom. "We need to get a move on before Twilight decides to lecture me on overslee-"

"NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE!!!" Technically I'm not a pony.

I heard rapid hoof-steps storming past the other side of the door. That's when I started thinking. I don't really think I'm on her mind right now, so...

"Hey Jack. Wanna get breakfast?"

"Sure."

After Jack and I did our morning routine, we headed over to a restaurant in town for some bacon (using figurative language here. I know ponies don't serve bacon.), ignoring the commotion going on in town.

"APPLEJACK! GET BACK HERE!!!"

Nope.

"I'm stayin out of that one." Jack said.

"You read my mind."

When we reached the place, I noticed we were getting looks. We were stopped by the manager, a dark teal mare with blue eyes, blonde hair and a spatula for a cutie mark and a badge with the name 'Flipsy' on it and 'Manager' underneith. (How else do you think I'd be able to tell if she's a manager or not?)

"Sorry sirs, we don't serve meat here. Might as well turn around and head back the way you came." She said, glaring at us.

I was about to say something, but Jack shushed me, clearly having an idea of his own judging by the grin on his face.

"Don't worry. We're not here to eat ya or anything. I'd eat you in bed though, eh?" He said, making an obscene gesture with his two fingers and tongue. I didn't see the mare blush profusely as my hand was currently covered by my face-palming. I could hear her teeth grinding.

"Sorry ma'am. What my perverted friend here is trying to say is that we're not carnivores. We're omnivores. We're just hear for flapjacks." I swear, Jack, ever since you told me AJ's opinion on herding...

"J-Just... take your seats..." the mare said.

We both took seats at the bar. I shook my head. "One of these days, you're going to get stung by your flirting with every mare that approaches you"

I couldn't help but notice something blue sticking out of his jacket when he sat down.

"Hey, what's that?" I asked.

"What's what?"

"Yeah, that blue ribbon. Gonna help Rarity with somethin?"

"Oh this?" Jack pulled said ribbon out of his pocket and showed it to me. It took a while for me to notice that it was actually a 'first place' ribbon. "Yeah, I won this from a rodeo in Canterlot I accidentally joined."

Two and two came together. AJ didn't come home because she didn't win. Jack did. AJ lost the rodeo to Jack. AJ didn't get the bits to fix the Town Hall in Ponyville. Jack did. Because of him, the girls smell like cherries and Applejack is being chased by a raging Pinkie. I burst out laughing.

"This is amazing! This is gotta be your best troll yet!"

"What? It's not like I 'accidentally' joined to get payback, but hey." He gave me a devious grin. "You should've seen the letter I had sent back to Ponyville along with the winnings."

"What? Watcha send?" I said, grinning back.

"Let's just say that AJ'll never be looked at the same way again."

My chuckles grew silent. "Think you're takin this a bit too far? Three pranks in two days might be considered... you know, harsh trolling?"

"Nah." He said, shaking his head.

"Alright, but uh... your pranks may end up causing relationship problems for yourself."

"You're one to talk."

"Whatever dude. Whenever Applejuice kicks you to the curb, don't come crying to me." I warned. Then the food came.

"Think the girls will find out what really happened?" Jack asked me as we left the diner.

"Well, hard to say. AJ's stubborn as fuck, but they might get her to sing. She did break a Pinkie Promise this morning from what we could hear."

"The entire town could hear." Jack added.

"Hahah yeah. I wonder how they'll react when they-" we turned the corner only to see our six friends glaring at Jack, Applejack looking the most pissed. "...look like they will end up burying you alive, real soon."

"THIS IS ALL YER FAULT!" AJ yelled, pointing a hoof at him.

"Oh whatever do you mean?" Jack said, feigning ignorance.

"Don't ya dare play dumb with me boy Ya'll know exactly what ya done did!" Applejack was fuming.

"I swear, half of those words in those sentences weren't needed." Jack taunted. You're pushin' it bro.

"Well 'Ah' got a choice o' words for ya, ya hear! Ya made these past two days a livin' Tartarus!"

"What? I won fair and square." He said before giving AJ a malicious trolling grin. "Next time you'll think twice before turning me into your slave, Applejack."

"But Applejack was going to use the bits to rebuild town hall." Twilight said.

"I already sent the bits back to Ponyville. Most of 'em anyway." Jack said, rubbing the back of his head.

"And the rest of the bits?"

"Can't tell ya that, Twi." Jack gave Twilight a wink. "It's a secret."

Soon it was time for us to head back to Ponyville. AJ and Jack never said a word to each other, not even on the train ride back. Applejack glared at him the entire trip while Jack had a smug look on his face. Like he had everything handled. ..The hell am I worried about? Not any of my business.

The rest of the day for me went pretty average after I got over the culture shock again for the third time. I was then just glad to've finally been home again. Twilight had to make sure Spike was taking care of things at the library, and Fluttershy was sure the animals hadn't had dinner yet. It was late and I was tired. The kids were already sleep, Jack didn't come home, and neither was Bro. Didn't care much about Jeff however. He was out doing whatever.

Rainbow and I slept very well on my much more comfortable bed.

Author's Note

Here's the next chapter. Sorry again for the long wait. Two months. Two! Deuce! I really need to step up my game... I've just been in a mix between handling real life stuff and reading other fiction. This chapter wasn't all that easy to write. May end up rewriting it in a future, but I felt like having our trolling human cause a few of the mane 6 some grey hairs.

Anyway, the next chapter: Next Great Cider

(By the way, the title is an anagram for "It's all Jack's fault")

S2 Chapter 10: Next Great Cider

-Xavier's Recap-

The next day, Jack came home disappointed. The little prank he had thought would make Ponyville "never look at AJ the same again" had failed. Apparently the mayor learned to tell the difference between handwriting and hoof writing. The letter he wrote to the mayor said something about AJ not being able to control herself around Jack and having her being rutted silly by him, which is why she lost. You know, because she wouldn't be able to move as well? Lucky for Jackyboy, Mayor Mare was cool enough to not tell Applejack. Wouldn't want to lose one of his two fillyfriends. Yes, I found out about him and Button Mash's mom. Button Mash was playing with Bri and his friends one day and she came over to pick him up. I saw them kiss upon greeting. Didn't say anything. Jonathan did though. Called him "Jack the MILF magnet." Not that he knew what a MILF was, just the fact that M stood for Mother.

Jeff on the other hand, still refusing to do as the Romans, started raising more of a fuss on how we're settling a normal life with alien magical horses. My response: "Well, they're intelligent, we have our own source of power, a source of income, and they're supplying us with water and food. It's been working for years." I don't know how this hasn't sunk in his head yet that we'll probably never see another human besides ourselves ever again. And besides my 9 year old sister, he'll probably never see another human female for a long long time. Who cares about him though? Everyone else kinda left him alone to his little world of wannabe badassery while he left us to exist in the strange reality we're currently living in.

Moving on to yesterday, I was rudely woken up by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy (but really just Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy was just shyly fluttering outside the window) at the crack of dawn for some stupid cider event. Dash said something along the lines of "The taste of Apple Family Cider will be totally worth the early wakening, but we gotta get there before Pinkie!" I honestly didn't care too much. One minute I'm in my bed, the next I was being flown by Rainbow Dash to Sweet Apple Acres like I was going to Super Jail.

"Life on the outside ain't what it used to be."

Anyway, as if my bad luck on Earth followed me here and started haunting Rainbow Dash instead, we found ourselves at the end of an entire town of tents. I was pretty sure that there were people coming from other towns to get in line for cider. I couldn't help but chuckle at the apparent loss of color from Rainbow as we got to the back of the line. After a while we saw Pinkie walk by with more cider than she could probably drink (if she wasn't Pinkie). That was enough to double Rainbow's sour attitude, and mine too considering there would no doubt be enough for everyone. So I decided to give Pinks a hard time with her conscience by stealing her little song from a year ago.

"YA GOTTA SHAAAAAARE! YA GOTTA CAAAAAAARE! IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!"

Needless to say, Pinkie was no longer able to enjoy her snacks as well as she wanted to thanks to my trolling. Good. She shouldn't, with her stingy ass. Atleast it seemed to brighten Dash's mood a little bit. Unfortunately there still wasn't even close enough for most, which made Dash a little spazzy. Apparently this isn't the first time this has happened, so I took her home for a lil cheerin up (No, I don't mean like that. Get your mind out of the gutter!).

-End of Recap-

(Wednesday 3/22)

"DUDE! DUDE! Ya gotta wake up!"

I was in the middle of a nap when I was woken up by Jack. For fuck's sake, Jack...

"What..."

"Dude! Applejackandherfamjustchallengedsometwinstomakecidertomorrowandlosergetsscrewed!!!" Jack said, grabbing my shirt.

I looked down at his hands and back at him, raising an eyebrow. "If you don't stop grabbin on my shirt like you lost your damn mind and speak some English please."

The commotion had woken up Dash who was sleeping near the foot of the bed. "Wha-s goin on?"

"Jack, explain slowly and clearly."

After taking a few breaths, he started explaining. "You know how everyone's tired of there never being enough cider for everyone?"

"Yeah! And it stinks!"

"Shush Rainbow." I returned my attention to Jack. "Okay, go on."

"Right. Well, turns out they got competition. These two quartet lookin guys, Flim and Flam, they got this machine truck that makes Apple Cider and quick!"

"That sounds awesome! I'll finally be able to get some delicious cider!"

"Okay, so what's the problem?" I said, furrowing my brows, trying not to blow him off to return to my nap. Luna and I were busy having fun making a city. Thank you for interrupting.

"They offered to partner with the Apple Family but AJ and her folks refused so now they made a deal that tomorrow whoever makes the most cider wins, and loser cant make cider in this town ever again!"

"Maybe they should've upped their production like we've been asking for every year?" Dash said, nearly resisting the urge to rant.

"I ask again. What's the problem?"

"They make a lot of bits from making cider! If they lose the bet, they could lose their home!"

"WHAT?!" Dash and I yelled unanimously.

Before I could comprehend what I had just heard, Dash was out the window. Jack was following close behind her. I sat there contemplating what I should do. Should I go and express my concern? I looked at my pillow which was figuratively begging to hug my head. Or should I worry about it tomorrow?

...

"Applejack doesn't like me that much anyway. I'd probably just make things worse." I told myself. So I sent Bri on my behalf.

-Jack's POV-

The next day, Xavier and I checked on how the farmer family were doing. My lil' bro and Xavier's little sister tagged along and I wondered why...

"Yo Bri. Whatcha both followin' us for?" I asked.

"Apple Bloom's a friend and the Cutie Mark Gang wouldn't be the same without her!" Jonathan answered for her.

"That's right. We're gonna help her."

Xavier chuckled. "What about Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle?"

"AAAAAAAUUGH!!! OH MY GOSH WE FORGOT ABOUT THEM!!!" Jonathan screamed out loud. "Brianna you get Scootaloo! I'll get Sweetie!"

Then the two kids split. Me and X had walked all the way down to Sweet Apple Acres, and sure enough the two unicorns now known as the Flick Flack bros or whatever their names were, had already started their apple cider making machine in competition with my gal and her family. I started wondering what would happen if I sabotaged the machine and just ended it right then and there. Then Applejack and her family would stop talking to me for a while. I had a point. The Apple Family didn't take too kindly to cheaters, but took pride in fair play.

I'm not Rainbow Dash, anyway.

"So, what do you think we should do to help?" I asked him.

Xavier had stopped walking to think. "I have an idea, but I doubt it'll work."

"What? Why not?"

"Did they see you? How'd you find out about this?"

"Well, I was workin in the Apple farm when they came by. I didn't exactly approach them, ya know? Was sorta busy bringin' in apples since AJ and the rest of em were busy, so I picked up where they left off. After they left, AJ told me what happened and I came runnin home to tell ya."

Xavier smiled. The smile that soon turned into a grin. The grin that could only mean one thing. Just to be sure, I had to ask.

"Your inner troll is hungry, isn't it?"

-Third Person POV-

Things weren't looking good for the Apple family. Big Mac, AJ, and Apple Bloom were all running on fumes, nearly exhausted. Her friends had joined, but even then, they were only making a fraction of cider that Flim and Flam were making. Twilight noticed that not all of her friends were there to help, mainly AJ's guy. She found it pretty odd that he wasn't here helping considering what was at stake.

"Where are the hu-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

In an instant, a loud growl was heard as three large green creatures came out of the orchard just as Flim and Flam were about to claim their victory. They were also covered in red metal armor and seemed to use scraps as blades. They looked like large goblin/machine hybrids. Their red eyes, stared at the farm ponies as they charged at them.

One of them had a weapon, which looked like one of the guns Jeff had carried around often, but more alien. It fired at Big Mac, hitting him until he was coated in dark red spots, yelling "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!!" Applejack and Apple Bloom watched in horror as their big brother fell lifelessly on the ground. The surrounding ponies didn't think twice before panicking. Twilight cast a shield over her friends and Applejack's remaining family members there.

"YAH! LIKE SHOO'IN' SQUIGZ IN A BARRAL!!"

"I WAN' THEIR TEEF!!! DON' TOUCH THEIR TEEF!!"

A few other ponies were hit once and managed to limp away or were carried by other ponies. The Flim and Flam brothers were well enough on their way, having seen enough of the carnage caused by the three green monsters. Applejack and Apple Bloom were hugging each other in tears under Twilight's bubble shield. The causes of the carnage approached the fallen Apple member. One of them looked at the ponies surrounded by the bubbleshield and when it approached, Twilight strengthened the shield. The other two were poking and prodding at Big Mac's corpse. One started rubbing his finger on Big Mac's nose, making the large stallion lift a hoof to rub it.

"Get up, Mac. You're scarin your sisters."

As Big Mac stood up in confusion, he noticed he smelled of nothing more than paint. The creature near the bubbleshield looked at the ponies and took off his 'head' to reveal another head, one that belonged to one of the humans, specifically AJ's boyfriend.

"And ze farm is saved!" Jack said out loud.

The other humans, Jeff and Xavier, took off their costume heads having a huge grin on their faces. Looking pretty angry, Twilight removed her shield spell. Her eyes were twitching as strands of her mane started popping into curls. She was seething.

"What will it take for it to get through your thick human skulls that THESE TYPES OF PRANKS ARE NOT OKAY!!!"

"Yeah! You made poor Fluttershy faint!" Rarity yelled.

"And you killed our brother!" Apple Bloom shrieked. Jack looked back at a now standing Big Mac who was hosing the paint out of his coat, although not looking too happy. This calmed her down at least. "Oh..."

The same couldn't be said for her sister, who was being held back by Rainbow Dash and Pinkie.

"Now hold on, Applejack. Nopony got hurt, and we do still have our farm here." Granny Smith to the rescue! "Those Flim Flam brothers won't be around here ta bother us no more. Ya can't argue with good results, and although it sure as hay wasn't nice the way they did it, we have them ta thank for it."

Jack stood proudly. "Besides, as much as I'd like to take credit for this heroic deed, this was all Xavier's idea."

"You're welcome." Xavier said, leaning against an apple tree.

Applejack tilted her hat forward and walked over to him and smiled. "Ah'd like ta thank ya kindly."

"No problem, AJ." Xavier said, nonchalantly.

"Ah'd like ta give you yer payment." and gave it a good buck. A couple of apples had hit Xavier on the noggin.

"Thanks?" He said, rubbing his head.

"Don't you mention it."

-Xavier's POV-

Yeah, that went better than I expected. I had a feeling if it wasn't for Granny Smith's words of wisdom, we'd be running for our lives. Instead, we're all enjoying a barrel of Apple Family cider, leaving the rest for returning customers. Jeff went to try a cup of the Flim and Flam brothers', but after one sip, he did a cup pour that could match Dean's and left. Jack and I took a look inside of their cider barrels and found leaves, crushed bugs, and other things that would make you vomit. There was even a squished earthworm floating around. We didn't bother to tell the girls what was in it, but we assured them that they would've won without our little intervention. At least they forgave us anyway. Dash thought thought the prank was clever and Twilight just couldn't stay mad at me. I knew her weaknesses and sometimes I don't play fair:

While everyone was drinking the last of the cider from the barrel, I noticed Twilight kept cutting glares at me. Each time I look at her, she looked away with the same sour look on her face. I walked over to where she was and her ears folded back. Yeah, she mad.

"Heya Twilight."

"Please, just don't talk to me right now."

"Yeah, I got you again."

She simply huffed, rolling her eyes. "Whatever." She mumbled.

"Doesn't hurt to have a sense of humor ya know." I said, scooping her up and holding her.

"Woah! Put me down!" Twilight demanded, struggling to get free from my hold.

"Nope."

"Put me- Xavier! Now!" She fussed, but I could see her smile. She so wanted to be mad at me, but I wouldn't let her. "Ngh, you're cheating again~!" she fake-whined.

"Yup. You know me well."

"Two can play that game." She said smugly before she teleported out of my arms in a bright flash of purple. You know when you play Call of Duty or Battlefield when you take a flash grenade to the face? That's what I was seeing. Needless to say, I couldn't see where I was going very well and tripped over a tree root. Rolling over on my back, the flash bang effect went away. I was staring up at Twilight who was staring down on me with a sultry look. "That's what you get for cheating." She planted a kiss and started to walk off.

She would've won the round, but I looked over to the right of me and saw my Orc head still there. Putting it on, I got up and slapped Twilight's flank forcing her to yelp. She turned around, saw the orc and shrieked.

"AAAAGH!!! XAVIER YOU BIG-"

Author's Note

Sorry for the long wait. I keep having to go to the store to get inspiration. I also took a break from fimfiction for a bit. I was sorta sick one week. Then I spent Thanksgiving week with fam, so that means more time gaming with them than mlp stuff. With that said, I love me some comments. :pinkiehappy:

If ya don't know who Dean is, it's this guy from Iron Giant:

S2 Chapter 11: Sticks, Stones, and Broken Bones/Nightmare's New Name

S2 Chapter 11

Sticks, Stones, and Broken Bones

(tw: blood, injury, hilarious mood shifts)

-Jack's Recap-

Yeah, that's right. I'm doing the recap this time. Yup! Anyway, after I heroically saved Sweet Apple Acres by my best bro's amazing and hilarious prank, Applejack eased up on me and Xavier concerning the ways of our inner trolls. About time, too. Trollin is a big percentage of my life's kicks. My lil'est bro and Brianna came late to the party with Scoots and Sweets and were relieved they didn't lose a member of their lil group. And guess who they had to thank for that? You guessed it. Me, Xavier, and the big guy Jeff. Speakin of, I think Jeff's starting to finally lose the edginess. He has his moments every now and then, but he's been quietly going along with everything we drag him into and everything that goes around. Either that or he's silently bidin' his time, plottin' to overthrow the Equestrian government to make it more masculine. He'd probably build a wall around Equestrian's borders or somethin to keep the Saddle-Arabians and Zebricans away or somethin like that. I wonder how America's doing right now.

I'm getting off topic. FOCUS, Jack!

As I was saying, everything's all happy and joy. Speaking of, I've learned that Joy is an alcoholic and gets drunk pretty often. She sometimes even stops by the house requesting me to "drop 'em." And here I am like, "Psh, yeah right! I wear the pants in dis relationship. Heheh." Heh, get it? Because I literally... yeh ya'll get it. I know gender roles are sorta reversed (mostly I think) in Equestria or something. That's cool, but I still don't do drunk chicks. No thanks. Learned that lesson already (through someone else of course) in the past back on Earth. So much nope!

My other bro, the reclusive Hiroto is spending less and less time outside and more time in his room or at Twilight's library, doing nothing but reading and writing down formulas and alien speak that I cannot understand what-so-ever. I think he's starting to gain a bit of weight as well. Poor Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stopped by several times to see if he was available, but he was either not there or too busy with his "work." I guess he's surrounded by books at school, also too busy to talk to anyone else, yet he's still getting straight 'A's. The kid's 15 years old and is going through that solitude phase I guess. Hopefully it'll pass soon before his friendships dwindle. I worry about the kid and so do the two fillies. While that's been happenin, I've been overhearing that they've started picking on the crusaders again. Bri isn't quiet when talking about bullies. Again, I hope Hiroto'll get himself together soon.

The only person left to talk about is Xavier's bro, who's basically been absent from the house more. He's been staying at a DJ's house, which is understandable because they're practically collaborating partners and what not. I don't see them out often in public but when they do, that pony walks awfully close to Trae. If I didn't know any better...

...

Nah... I know better because this is Trae we're talkin' about.

-end of Recap-

-Xavier's POV-

(Tuesday 3/28)

I was on my way to the kitchen one morning to grab my toaster strudels out of the toaster to have a little bit of Discord's chocolate drink. To poke fun, we dubbed it the Yoohoo! Choclord. Twilight brought up that it's been in our fridge for a while now, and bro was concordant with that point. Twilight did a scan on the liquid and found out that chaos magic was keeping it going bad. Long story short, bro stopped drinking it (needless to say that he didn't drink much of it from the start) but Jack and I didn't since we remembered and brought up on a few several basis that we were resistant to magic. To say the least, we gave no fucks. T'wasn't as if we were gonna turn evil or anything.

Anyway, as I did so, there was a knock on the door. Rolling my eyes, I huffed and went to the door. Wouldn't you know it, it was my favorite pegasus, Rainbow Dash.

"Hey X! Are you busy this morning? Please don't be busy! I wanna show you something." She asked, getting closer. "I really wanna know what you think about my new moves to see if they're Wonderbolt worthy?"

I face palmed. "Dash, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The Wonderbolts suck. They're overrated. They. Suck."

"Psh! Says you! They're the most popular fliers in Equestria!" She protested.

"Who got knocked out by a falling Rarity."

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. "Whatever. Are you coming or not?"

"Fine. Just let me grab my breakfast." I went back to the kitchen and my toaster strudels were not there. I looked around and saw Brianna and Jonathan eating both of them. Facepalming again, I ended up leaving with nothing but a berry granola bar. "Alright. Let's get moving." It was a quick walk to the park with me pretending to listen to Rainbow's babbling about her moves and the Wonderbolts. I love ya Dash, but you can do soooo much better. When we got there, I found myself a tree to lean on while I watched her.

"Alright X! Stay right there, monkey boy, and try not to blink too much."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

"Prepare to see something awesome!" Dash said before taking off to the skies.

She wasn't doing bad at first. Started off with simple dashes inbetween a couple of clouds without touching them, A few loops here and there, a couple of twirls. However, after a while of that, she started speeding up. Her loops were tighter and that rainbow trail started getting longer. She started making the skies devoid of clouds and occasionally sending a few winks and a kiss my way. Although she was showing off, I was actually stating to become impressed. In my two years of being here, I've yet to see any pegasus move like that. I'd like to see if the Wonderbolts can do that.

Unfortunately, she started going a bit too fast. She started messing up a lot. I noticed her turns started getting sloppy, and she started losing control after her twirls and loops. Uh oh. This will not end well. She was beginning to spiral out of control after a last helix twirl and started spinning towards the ground. I started to run towards her area to try to catch her aaaaand..

INTERCEPTED!!! The crowd goes wild for the interception made by number 64 from the human team! I had the strongest urge to do a dance and spike the ball to the ground if said ball wasn't my fillyfriend. She flew up and gave my head a hug and a kiss. I could've sworn I tasted iron in her mouth. Must've knocked a tooth loose on impact. I shrugged it off.

"Xavier! You are so awesome! You saved my life!" She said, shaking my torso.

"No problem Skittles." I said, before feeling water dropping over my face. Looking up, I noticed that the clouds were blocking out the sun and it was raining. My chest was still hurting from the impact, and Rainbow could see it.

"Uh, Xavier? Are you okay?" She asked,shoutingin front of me.

I waved at her. "I'm fine. It's nothing."

"IT'S NOT NOTHING!!!" I flinched at the sudden shouting.

I raised an eyebrow at Rainbow. "Woah Skittles. Chill. Probably just a bruise, that's all."

Rainbow looked at me. "I didn't say anything. Are you sure you're okay?"

I looked around for a moment. I heard what sounded like a balloon losing it's air. I turned towards the noise and saw a crying Twilight little filly with a deflated balloon next to her parent. I shook my head and returned my attention to Dash.

"Nah, it's fine." It was raining more.

"Here. I'll carry you home." Dash offered, latching onto my back. I could feel myself being lifted up as I was flown to my house. It was a short ride, and I could still hear that kid crying over a balloon. It's just a damn balloon, kid. Not the last one you'll see. One thing that was concerning me was tha I was starting to taste more iron in my mouth even by the time I got home. Dash didn't even let me go until I was upstairs in my room. She took off my shirt and t-shirt to reveal a massive caving in bruise in the hilarious shape of Rainbow's head on my chest.

I smiled at Rainbow. "Looks like now everyone'll know I'm yours. They just gotta look at your face on me." I joked.

Dash smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving. I could hear beeping sounds coming from my bro's room. Must be making music again. It was getting a bit annoying considering he had headphones he could plug in, but the beeping kept on in a steady motion.

"I love you." Dash whispered back to me.

"You too."

As Dash left, I felt another presence in my room. One that I did not expect. Not until another couple of hours atleast while healing.

"*yawn* 'Tis pretty early for thou to be asleep, is it not?" Said Nightmaid, walking out of the closet. I blinked and stared at her.

"What're you doing here?" I asked, cutting to the chase.

"I understand not what you ask. Tis thy dream is it not?" She asked.

"No. I'm awake. What're you doing in my closet?" I really wanted to know what was going on. Why is Nightmaid here? Why can I still hear that kid's crying? And why do I still taste metal? And can someone please tell bro to turn his music down?!

Luna came into view, materializing out of nowhere. "Forgive our intrusion, but we bear bad news. Tia and I have received a letter from her student explaining what happened. You are not awake because you have a major injury. You are unconscious. The crying you hear is not of a child, but of your friends. The blood you taste isn't Rainbows, but yours. The melody you hear is coming from a heart monitor. You currently reside on a hospital bed."

I was stunned as Luna continued.

"When you tried to catch Rainbow, her impact left most of your ribs broken and your lungs punctured. We can't heal it with magic because you're immune... You will have to undergo surgery, but afterwards, you will be bedridden for a while." She gave a weak smile. "You gave your friends quite a scare. They're still worried about you."

...Okay. I looked at Nightmaid who was looking at me, eyes wide open in shock. "What?" I thought you'd be happy to hear about me being vulnerable.

She instantly grabbed me by my shirt and started shaking me. "HAS THOU LOST THY MIND?!? THOU COULD'VE GOTTEN THYSELF SLAIN!!!" Both Luna and I looked at her in surprise, not expecting her to have this type of reaction.

"Well gee, Nightmare. Didn't think you really cared about me this much." I said, smirking.

Nightmaid Moon blushed and looked away while letting me go. "I-It's the fact that if thou were to perish, we would perish with thee. T-That's all..."

Yeah, I'm not buyin it. You totally care about me.

"'TIS NOT TRUE!!!" Nightmaid yelled, her face a dark red. Hm....

I looked at her. "Well, that's too bad. Punctured lungs for human beings means death. As soon as the blood touches the lungs, that's it. the blood dries and keeps other air and cells from coming through and kills us." I explained. I looked to Luna whose eyes were growing. "There's no chance of me surviving, so Luna, you can take Nightmare back. I think she'll be on her best behavior from now on."

"You jest! The doctors said you'd be-" I cut her off with a wink and cut my eyes to Nightmare, who was shaking, trying to keep up her aloof attitude, but visually failing.

Soon enough, she snapped and wrapped her arms around me. "NAY! I'LL GO WITH THEE TO THE AFTERLIFE! THOU CANNOT LEAVE ME!!"

I chuckled. "Gotcha."

"I DESPISE THEE SO MUCH!"

"We see why Tia's student is weary of thy pranks." said a giggling Luna.

Looking at Nightmaid, I couldn't help but ask. "Why would you wanna die with me?"

"Because thou hast been the only one to give me a fair chance of kindness in over a thousand years! Evenafter everything I said and tried to do to thee!" I could've sworn I was beginning to see tears in her eyes. "Thou art the only being that sees me nay as a villain but as a friend!"

"And the only one who even likes you." Luna chipped.

"Everypony else hates and despises me, even the one who spawned me!" Nightmare said, pointing to Luna, who was taken back a bit by her sudden mention. "Xavier, thou art the only creature, nay, person to ever give me a chance. I cannot bare to see thee hurt, let alone severely on the brink of death.." Just then, I saw someone who only wanted what anyone would want. To be wanted, loved, to be happy and liked. Not some villain that everyone saw her as. Nightmare let go of me and sunk to her knees, sobbing. I looked at Luna who looked back at me with the same, if not more feelings of discomfort than me.

"Well... We think we hear Tia calling. We'll let your friends and family know that you're okay. Farewell!" She said before disappearing, leaving me with a sobbing Nightmare Moon.

I patted her head gently, my discomfort level reaching OVER 9000! "There there.. I'm sorry for joking like that. It was in poor taste."

"'Tis not thou jesting..." She explained. After a moment of silence, something came across her mind and her cheeks started to flush again. "Can I ask thou a question, Xavier?"

I shrugged. "Shoot."

"If I were not trapped in thoust mind, but instead in the waking world, would thou consider... mating with me as well?" She asked, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Maybe, but I would've had to find a way to render ya powerless first, because that's sorta what it took for ya to not be evil and to learn your lesson." I teased. "Other than that, I would've been happy to. Ya look pretty hot in your anthro form, and even more so in that cute maid uniform."

Nightmare blushed, now having a sultry smile. "Well, if thou hast felt that way all this time, thou should've brought it up sooner." She stood up on her knees, pulling me to an embrace, my head going in between her boobs. I wrapped my arms around her as well.

"We're gonna have to do something about your name though." I said, looking up at her.

"Tis wrong with Nightmare Moon?" She said, cocking her head.

"Well, for starters, you're not trying to strike fear into anyone, thus you aren't a nightmare." Technically you are. "Well, you are a mare of the night, but you know what I mean."

She nodded her head. "Well. Since thou hast enlightened me to a new way, thou can have the honor of choosing thy new name."

"Am I gonna have to come up with a weird pony name?" She nodded her head. Dammit...

-3rd person POV-

A week later, Rainbow Dash had yet to leave the hospital, even though her wing had made a full recovery. She was curled up on her unconscious boyfriend's lap with a book titled 'Daring Doo and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.' She's been reading it to him while she waited for him to wake up from his long sleep. Twilight often came to visit them, but only for moments. Both missed their favorite troll of a human. They missed his pranks, his jokes, his human references that they never got.

Rainbow's eyes were puffy, her face having dried tear stains on them as she began wondering how long it would take for him to wake up. The possibility of him staying asleep forever crossed her mind multiple times. Twilight and their friends had told her not to give up hope, but everyone knew how impatient she could be.

"Xavier, I don't know if you can hear me, but please wake up already..." She then opened up the book and started reading the book to him again.

-Xavier's POV-

"Oh geez, here we go again!" I groaned, sitting beside the two dream mares on a giant beanbag chair as the magic floating television started replaying the ponified version of Indiana Jones, the narrator chick sounding like someone just died. "Jesus... How long has this thing been floating around here?" I asked Starla Moon, who was formerly known as Nightmare/Nightmaid Moon. Ever since I allowed her to use magic again, she had changed her attire. Usually, she wore casual wear. Now, she was wearing purple booty shorts and a short black top that showed ample cleavage and exposed her belly. Ever since I told her how hot she was a week ago, she's been trying every now and then. It was flattering to say the least. This also, however, caused the Princess of the Night jealousy and had her step up her game. On the other side of me, she was wearing a tight tanktop, a wavy miniskirt, and blue and black striped thigh highs. I'm so glad Jack and the others aren't seeing this. You two look like hookers.

"'Tis this 'hooker' thou speak of?" Starla asked. Shit! How do I keep forgetting?!

"I-It's nothing.. Just uh... nothing." The answer was enough for Starla, but not enough for Luna. She narrowed her eyes at me, having played GTA with me before.

"Hookers hm? Well, if thou wants hookers, we'll-" I cut Luna off right there.

"I'm good. Just keep being yourselves." They both giggled as they scooted closer to me, nuzzling. Their hands were rubbing my chest and my cheek as they were practically all on me. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at the imaginary fourth wall. The Next Episode started playing in the back as pixel sunglasses fell out of nowhere and landed on my face. Thug Life.

You can use your imagination on what happened next.

-Meanwhile-

Fluttershy trotted into the hospital room in attempt to help her depressed Rainbow-maned friend, only to find her curled up fast asleep on her comatose lover's lap with the book Twilight had left her (unaware of the boner it was resting on). She had looked around to find something to cover her with. Looking over at the bed Rainbow Dash was resting in while she was healing, it was currently unoccupied. She used those covers to cover her. While doing so, she nuzzled Rainbow and looked at the human she slept on.

"Oh please wake up soon, Xavier. We miss you. Your family misses you. Brianna misses you. Twilight and Rainbow misses you. I miss you." She said quietly, tears streaming own her cheeks. She hugged and nuzzled his head before leaving.

-Xavier's POV-

"...I thought I was in a hospital, not a vet. Rarity's cat just licked my face!" I had just felt something wet rubbing against my face, and considering it was only my cheek that was licked instead of my entire face being slobbered on, I assumed it was a cat. There's only one cat in Ponyville and that cat belongs to fucking Rarity!

"Relax, my favorite human." Luna said, still naked from a little moment ago. "Tis probably your friends pets wanting to show how much they care."

"Or Pinkie getting revenge after the loopholes I found in her Pinkie Promises."

"We're surprised you remain unscarred for breaking a Pinkie Promise. Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise." Luna giggled.

"Haha, yeah." I said, chuckling. "But knowing you ponies, as soon as I wake up, I'll probably end up dog piled, smothered by Rainbow and Twiilight, maybe even Pinkie and Fluttershy too."

Luna was giggling. "Thou are the most popular human."

"How much do you wanna bet that they're gonna forget about my temporarily fragile chest? I'm already not looking forward to waking up." Now Luna was flat out laughing.

"Tis your fault for being well liked." Starla said.

"Think I should move to Canterlot where I'm not well liked? May end up needing constant window replacements from all the nobles I'll end up throwing through 'em." I joked.

Luna was on the floor, cackling. "OH STOP IT PLEASE! I CANNOT BREAHE!"

"Heh, fine. I'll stop before I kill you with my sense of humor."

-3rd Person POV-

Twilight came rushing into the room the very next day, the door bursting open, waking Rainbow. She was in tears and her mane was a mess.

"THEY'RE GOING TO PULL THE PLUG ON XAVIER, DASH!" She screamed.

If Dash wasn't fully awake, she was fully awake then."WHAT?! NOO!!!"

"We're sorry Miss Dash, Miss Sparkle, but he's been in this state for over a week." Doctor Horse said, walking through the door along with a unicorn doctor and Nurse Sweetheart. Rainbow glared at him, wings spread ferociously ready to pounce on him. "I'm sorry. We thought he'd heal soon after the surgery, and we're limited on resources to keep him stable. I'm sorry, but I think it's time to pull the plug."

"YOU STAY THE BUCK AWAY FROM HIM!" Rainbow screamed. The doctor went towards the machine that was keeping him alive. When Rainbow lunged at the doctor, she was caught by the unicorn doctor's magic. "Let me go!"

Dr. Horse put his hoof on the plug beside Xavier's bed and looked around. Twilight was looking pleadingly at the doctor, unsure what else to do. Rainbow was trying to reach him with murderous intent, screaming language more colorful than her mane. "We've done all we can with it being our first time operating on his species. I'm sorry, but unless he shows any signs of recovery, there's nothing else we can do."

*CRACK*

"UGH!!" was all the noise Dr. Horse could say as a hard fist struck him across the face, sending him stumbling into the wall. Said fist belonging to the displeased looking human lying in the bed.

"You've interrupted our game of RISK, trying to pull the plug on me?" He said. "You kept me from winning the best board game humankind has ever made! This is a great insult!"

-Xavier's POV-

I was not happy. I was this close to capturing Starla's capital and winning the game, already having defeated Luna and Celestia, who also decided to take a nap during the day to join us. At first she was uneasy about Starla to say the least, thus resulting in magic blasts at Star's face, but after proving herself to be reformed, they got along quickly. Celestia had also morphed into an anthro pony as well, proving to having a more voluptuous form than Luna and Starla. And that's saying something. When I brought it up, Luna claimed it to be fat from her cake-eating habits. That was Luna's downfall in game. The Lunar Republic was the first to be annihilated. Celly had her revenge even at the cost of New Equestria.

Needless to say, we had overheard the commotion from the waking world and begrudgingly and unanimously agreed that for my own good, I needed to wake my ass up before I died, but someone, or somepony needed to pay. And that pony was unfortunate to be within range, right beside my bed as he tried to pull the plug. Now, everyone was staring at me. Nurse Sweetheart was staring with a hoof over her mouth, Twilight still in tears, had her mouth open, the unnamed unicorn doctor was also in shock. The doctor I punched was sporting a bruised cheek while Rainbow was by far most wearing a face I'd never in all my time of knowing her, wore.

Her pupils were dilated while watery, tears trailing down her smiling face. The face that screamed 'I'm going to tackle hug you now whether you like it or not.' I'd gladly do so if my chest wasn't still healing. I turned to the doctor.

"I'm still alive, but I'm slowly healing. What have you been giving me, Dr..." I looked at is name. "Dr. Horse?" Seriously? This guy is NO Dr. House.

"I've been giving you the same treatment as everypony else who's a patient here. Sure, we had to liquefy your meals but-"

"Can you repeat that?" I asked.

"We've had to liquefy your meals?"

"No. The other thing. Right before that."

"I've been giving you the same treatment as everypony else who's a patient here." As he repeated, Twilight covered her hoof with her hoof in realization, which caused me to smile. Someone really is smart.

"Doctor?" Twilight raised a hoof.

"Yes Miss Sparkle?"

"I think I know what he needs." She said, looking unsure.

"And just what would that be, Dr. Sparkle?" Asked the Dr. Snark.

-5 seconds later-

Once again, everypony was staring at me. Well, everypony but Twilight who knew from the start of the human diet, and even more so after I gave her a book on human physiology some time ago. Dash was still looking at me the same way she was before. Unfortunately the recent news to them had shocked the unicorn doctor to the point where he lost focus, which meant Dash flew straight into me. Luckily, she only wrapped her forelegs around my neck while remaining airborne. Everypony else were staring in shock and fear.

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH" Dash continued.

Patting Rainbow's back, I looked at the others. "Haven't anyone ever told you that it's rude to stare?"

"Y-you're carnivorous!!" Doctor Horse shouted, pointing a shaking hoof at me.

"He's an omnivore actually.."

"YOU EAT POOR ANIMALS!!" Nurse Sweetheart was hiding behind the unicorn doctor who's horn was glowing towards me.

"The Princesses know this already, and they're cool with me." Heh, in fact, they love me. "And you sir," I said pointing at the unicorn. "Put that away. You'll hurt someone that's not magic resistant." I gestured to Rainbow who was still clung to my neck, crying. "And then we'll have a real problem."

"He's been my friend ever since I moved here and he hasn't eaten anypony so far!" Twilight said, stepping in the doctor's way. "He, along with the other humans, have been relying on fish and chicken every now and then! Not ponies!"

"Yeah, I've been here for about a year or two and all I've done was help repair broken shit and be dragged on adventures against my will by Hot Purple Butt and Sexy Thunder here." I chuckled, causing Twilight to grit her teeth, blushing. "Now, Twilight, if you can get Jeff and bro to go cockatrice hunting, Hiroto can make me some chicken broth or chicken soup or something."

Twilight nodded her head and turned to the doctors and walked up to them. She went up to the doctors, specifically the unicorn. "If anything happens to him, I will write to the Princesses myself." She said through her teeth, before leaving. I love that girl.

Rainbow, finally getting herself together, looked me straight in the eyes as her teary eyes narrowed. "I know you try to be cool trying to rescue me and all, but do not do this to me again!"

"I'll try not to, unless I feel I have to." I stroked her mane, looking to my side. I saw a huge pile of cards, gifts, and several balloons saying 'Get well soon.'

"Oh yeah.. Your family and our friends left you those."

"Think it's fair that we read 'em?" I asked. Rainbow nodded her head. I looked at the doctors. "If you don't mind." The doctors took their leave as Rainbow and I started opening letters.

Dear Xavier,

We miss you and hope you get well soon, darling.

from Rarity.

Get well soon, bro.

Your bro.

Hey Xavier,

When you get up, we need to catch up on some trollin' man.
Your best friend Jack.

Xavier,

Wake your ass up and shake it off like a man!

-Jeff Clifton

Dear Xavier
We sincerely miss you. It's been different with you gone. Please get well soon.
Fromyourlove Fluttershy andfrom Brianna

That one I knew that, based on how close the words were together, it was "edited" by Brianna behind Fluttershy's back. Even in comatose, I'm still being shipped with Fluttershy.

Everyone but Twilight and Rainbow, even the crusaders and Lyra had left 'Get Well Soon' cards. Twilight said she'd been giving me gifts every visit. When I asked where hers were, she gave me a peck on the lips. Rainbow, trying not to be upstaged, said that her gift was her never leaving me. That made me ask:

"Uh, Dash, but what about your job?"

"Oh, I let my boss know what happened. She gave me time off, as long as I make up for it after you wake up. It's no problem at all."

Twilight giggled. "It should be no problem at all if you can manage to not slack off on a daily basis."

"I totally can! I just don't wanna take the jobs away from other ponies!" Dash protested.

Later that day, one of the staff brought in a container of warm yellow liquid that wasn't pee, but chicken soup, which was something I had not tasted in a while. Much to Twilight's and Rainbow's dismay, I savored every sip, and every chunk of chicken. Compliments to Jeff and the chef. Afterwards, it started getting dark. Rainbow and Twilight decided to spend the night keeping me company.

With both ponies snuggling against me, it was the warmest night I've ever had in that cold hospital.

A couple of days later, I was surprisingly well enough to leave the hospital. I couldn't tell yet if I was actually good to go or if they were just kicking me out because they didn't like me. I didn't throw a fuss about it, but I made it clear that if one of my family ended up in here, Jeff and I were gonna have a field day with them. I was pretty sure that would never happen though. Did Dash and Twilight walk out with me? No, they didn't. when I woke up, Dash felt I was safe enough to leave alone and went to catch back up with her work. "I still need the bits." she said. Twilight had gracefully kicked her schedules and to-do lists to the side a few times to visit and stay with me a few times during my hospital stays, so I really couldn't say much to Twilight besides "Thank You." She didn't even call any of them favors. It was a lonely walk back home. When I had opened the door to my house for the first time in almost two weeks-

"You're welcome." Jeff said, sitting on the couch while watching the five crusaders play. "Ready to be a man again?"

"Oi. At least I wasn't the first one to get put in that hospital, Mr. Broken Legs."

"Hey. Even soldiers get crippled every now and then, right?" He tried to reason.

"But none of them got fixed up by turning into a hot chick." I laughed.

"HEY! STOP BRINGING THAT UP!"

I laughed on the way upstairs to my room, but when I opened the door..

"SURPRISE!!!" The six girls, Spike, Lyra, and to my surprise, Derpy Doo, were in my room with balloons, and streamers. The little papers were everywhere, all over the floor, my desk, my bed, everywhere.

I turned my head. "Hey Jeff! Are we uh, expecting any company?"

"Nope!" He shouted from downstairs. "Only your sister's friends!"

Of course.I looked at the window and noticed it was open before looking back at the ponies. "I'm not cleaning this up."

Author's Note

That's all for this chapter.

You guys really should've seen this one coming. Of course in every HiE story, there has to be a part where the main human gets badly injured, and I'm sure some of you were waiting for this very thing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY, or happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, or whatever you may celebrate.

Also, I'm sorta glad that I'm not the only one who thought about a reformed Nightmare Moon.

S2 Chapter 12: Fluttershy Grows a Pair.

S2 Chapter 12: Fluttershy Grows a Pair

-Xavier's Recap-

The party was short lived to say the least. It really only lasted a few hours. I'm guessing someone told Pinkie that I probably wanted to be in my own bed as soon as I got home, but neglected to tell her, Derpy, Lyra, and remind Dash that I wasn't necessarily in the condition to be dog piled yet. What did I tell you, Luna? What did I tell you? Thankfully, I didn't really had to clean up any of the mess from the party. Pinkie had some Cat-in-the-hat doodad that did everything from her. I will never understand that crazy chick. Soon enough, everyone had left but Twilight, Dash, and Fluttershy.

Speaking of Fluttershy, ever since the accident I had, she's been acting weird around me. Well, she acts weird around me anyway, but she's been acting even weirder. And what makes it worse, is how more aggressive Brianna is getting with her shipping. It's like she's been drinking the red bull of ship juice or something. She's just been on and on, while Fluttershy's been trying to get my attention in very very very subtle ways it seemed. I guess she was a bit more worked up about me being badly injured than I originally thought. I made sure to make it clear to her that I was going to be alright so long as I didn't do anything else stupid like forget about ponies' amazing healing factors, while trying to catch a speeding Rainbow Dash that was coming towards me at ludicrous speed.

That didn't help, not even with Brianna.

-End of Recap-

(Monday, 4/17)

Jack, Joy Stick, and I were headed towards the market near town square to help carry the hopefully not many things she'd end up buying. Because Jack'll be carrying all of your shit, lady, not me. One thing that I did notice however was her cutie mark. Unlike other ponies, she seems to be the only one I've met whose name doesn't match with it. While this thought was going through my mind, to my embarrassment, she saw me staring at her flanks.

"I don't know how to feel about my stallion's best friend staring at me." she said, smirking back at me.

Jack was glaring daggers at me. "Got somethin ya wanna talk about, man?"

"Yeah. Joy, your name is Joy Stick, yet your cutie mark doesn't have anything to do with it." I said, pointing to her flank. "Everypony else's name usually have some sort of relevance with their special talents."

My buddy raised an eyebrow at Joy. "Yeah... That's a good question.." And that, my friends, is how you get away with staring at your best friend's girlfriend's ass in front of him with no consequences.

"Well, most ponies are named after birth. They're named after what their cutiemarks will be based on what their passion lie or are magically fated to be." Great... Magical coincidences.... "This doesn't apply to all ponies. Some ponies are named by their parents before they're born. However, only a few of us, like myself, go through changes in our lives in which our passions change." She looked at her cutie mark with a sad smile. "My cutie mark used to look like a joystick controller, but it changed when I became a single mother. I had no time for video games anymore." She sighed. "My passion changed to making sure I'm a good mother to Button Mash."

"And that's where I come in!" Jack yelled, proudly.

Joy giggled. "Yes, that's where you come in."

When we made it to the market, I accompanied the couple while they did their grocery shopping. Anything Joy bought, she carried it until Jack volunteered to hold it for her. She felt pretty awkward about having a stallion do things for her. He offered to take all of her bags so she wouldn't have to carry any of it, being the gentleman he is, but Joy didn't really like that very much. Instead, I had them both carry equal amounts of groceries so they wouldn't start bickering over who's more humble.

I did notice Fluttershy at an asparagus stall behind an old beige stallion who just grabbed his goods and left. However, I raised an eyebrow when I noticed two mares inconsiderately cut in front of her, and rather rudely at that. Fluttershy tried to get their attention, but only got the response:

"Would you mind moving back? You're in my personal space."

"Seriously? Like, do you need your asparagus so badly? Get a life." said her friend.

Oh... that fucking valley girl accent..

"Hey, uh, Jack? Joy? mind pardoning me for a moment?" I said, going over to the two, passing Fluttershy. I picked up Fluttershy, causing her to 'eep', and placed her in between the two twats.

"Like, excuse me? I totally thought we said-" Before she could finish, I grabbed them both by the tail and dragged them behind Fluttershy.

"What the hay?!" The other whined.

"My friend was in line ahead of you before you two so rudely cut in front of her." I said in a monotonous yet calm manner. "Wait in line like everyone else."

"You're pulling on my tail you freak!" The blonde screamed.

"TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, MOTHAFUCKA! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN ONE MORE GOT-DAMN TIME!" I yelled, getting 'hype,' scaring the shit out of them. Oh look. They're running off, tail between their legs.

"Oh... um.. thank you Xavier."

Turning to a blushing Fluttershy, I shook my head. "Fluttershy, I don't mean to sound rude, but ya need a backbone. Not gonna always be followin' you around to stop ya from bein' a door mat." I patted Fluttershy's head before going back to my group. I also noticed Pinkie and Rarity watching and waved. I wonder why they didn't do anything.

"What was that all about?" Joy asked.

I shrugged. "One of my friend's a pushover."

"Yeah, Flutters couldn't fight through a wet tissue paper." Jack laughed.

"Wow.. Things must be tough for her." Joy said. "I hope she'll be okay. I feel bad."

"I suppose I should start tagging along with her to make sure no one takes advantage of her."

"Yeah. She so needs it." Jack said.

"Honey, be nice." Joy said, hitting him lightly.

We went on to continue with shopping, unaware of a shy yellow pegasus mare tearing up.

The next day was a busy one. Jeff, Jack and I were called in to fix holes in walls, cracks, and even more broken furniture, a few of which might've required magic to fix. These ponies can be scary reckless. We were on our way to the next house when I heard something quite peculiar.

"Cut in line, I'll take what's mine!"

A grey stallion was thrown out of a taxi buggy by.. Fluttershy?

"Nopony pushes New Fluttershy around! NOPONY!!!!"

Jeff and I stared at the buggy as it pulled off, our mouths hung open. What the-

"What in the hell was that?!" Jeff asked, saying just what I was about to think.

"My guess is that Fluttershy woke up on the wrong side of the bed, snapped and is now having a really off day."

"Either that or the bitch is on her period. HAHAHA!!!" Period jokes? Really? You're scraping the bottom of the barrel there, buddy.

"Bruh..." Jack shook his head.

"Jeff, leave the jokes to me and Jack."

We were right by Sugarcube Corner when we saw Rarity and a drenched Pinkie walk out.

Grinning, I walked up to them. "Ey Pinkie. Who made you wet?"

"New Fluttershy! She dumped punch on me." She whined.

"So Fluttershy makes you wet?" I grinned.

"I guess Fluttershy made me wet. Why?" She asked, tilting her head.

I was so done. Jack was on the floor laughing, leaving a confused Rarity and an anxious Pinkie.

"What? I don't get it.." She whined. And that's what makes the joke all the more funnier, Pinks.

"It's an inside joke, Pinkie." Jack said, standing up.

It was about time that Brianna and Jack's lil brothers got out of school, and I remembered telling Brianna that I would drop her off at Fluttershy's so they could hang out. And more goading from Brianna that Fluttershy should be in the herd. I mentally facepalmed. I had Luna, Twilight, and Rainbow, and Starla if you can count her, seeing she's only available in my own dreams. Four girls is enough, no, more than enough for me. I don't know if I can handle five six and seven girls at once. Everyone wants the human diugh. And seeing my reaction from Brianna's constant pestering, Rainbow started doing it too, probably only to get on my nerves. Love 'em both though.

"Rambling in your head again?" Pinkie asked, having shaken off the punch out of her mane.

"Yes, Pinkie Punch, I am rambling in my head."

"Hey.."

Things were pretty normal on my way to the school, besides Pinkie and Rarity tagging along. Pinkie was probably going to be tasting like punch for the rest of the day, which is something she didn't really mind. She said she "enjoys tasting herself." Needless to say, Jack needed another moment, with Rarity being the only pony to know why.

"Jack dear, we seriously need to work on your poor taste in humor."

"Shut up, Meg."

When we arrived at the school, Jack had told Hiroto to take Jonathan home. I wish I had a little sibling old enough to take Brianna home instead of lugging her around in the afternoons. I also saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon being picked up by Filthy Rich. They looked like they had a bad day. One thing I noticed is that ever since Hiroto became a recluse, DT started turning sour. I did say back then that she could come to me if there are issues. I'll have to see if I can talk to her about that later. Looking back at the school, I saw Cheerilee talking to Brianna about something before waving her off as my little sis approached.

"Hey sis. Ready to bail?"

She was grinning widely. "Yeah! To Fluttershy's we go!"

"Yeah, you're excited to go, aren't ya?"

"You should be since she's your future waifu." To my chagrin, Jack, Rarity and Pinkie were all snickering. "I keep tellin you, you two'd be a couple o cuties! Big bro and Fluttershy!"

"Cmon sis.. Let's just go." I was already starting to get a headache.

From then, we were on our way to visit Fluttershy when we saw a tourist stallion asking the mare we were trying to visit, interacting. She had basically blamed the poor guy for her own clumsiness and literally tossed the stallion miles away. Yeah, something's definitely up with her.

"Yo Fluttershy, what's up?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Fluttershy, what are you doing?!? That's no way to behave!"

"Didn't you see what he did to new Fluttershy? He thought new Fluttershy was a pushover!"

"No, sweetie, he didn't. We saw the whole thing."

"Yeah. That guy just asked for directions. He didn't do shit. What's your deal?" I asked.

"I see what's going on." Fluttershy said, glaring at us. She started hovering around us. "You want the new Fluttershy to be a doormat like old Fluttershy, but old Fluttershy is gone!!!"

"Atleast old Fluttershy wasn't a bitch. What the hell is your malfunction?" I said. She got in my face trying to use her stare on me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Fluttershy, Xavier, chill!" Jack said.

Rarity looked at me. "Fluttershy went to this monster's assertiveness program and she's been like this ever since."

"He's a minotaur!"

"A mini minotaur?"

"Deathly allergic to tar tar sauce?" Did Pinkie...?

Brianna was frightened by Fluttershy's display. "Xavier's right. Where's the nice Fluttershy? I want her back. This one's mean!"

"No, you want the wimp Fluttershy. The pushover Fluttershy! The do-anything-to-her-and-she-won't-complain Fluttershy."

"The Fluttershy that ain't a bitch!"

She got in my face. "You were the one who wanted me to stick up for myself so you wouldn't have to! And your 'best friend' made fun of old Fluttershy!"

"Get. The fuck. Out of my face." I said through my teeth. "Yeah. I'm not a pushover either."

We had a stare off for a moment until she finally turned around and slowly hovered away, mumbling something.

"What was that?"

"When somepony tries to block, show them that you ROCK!!!" she said before I felt a hoof to my face. Multiple gasps were heard before I blacked out.

The next moment, I found myself on the ground with a bloody nose.

"Xavier darling, can you hear me?" Rarity and Pinkie was looking down on me.

"EGGSY! YOU'RE AWAKE! HOW MANY HOOVES AM I HOLDING UP?!" Pinkie yelled, holding up a hoof.

"What the hell just happened?!" I asked, sitting up

Jack helped me up. "Shit dude. You got sucker punched by Fluttershy." I looked around to see my attacker, but she was nowhere in sight. "She sorta bounced after hittin' ya. Ohoho boy! Wait til I tell Jeff about this one."

"Shut the fuck up, Jack." I started walking towards Fluttershy with payback front most in my mind. Yeah, you don't sucker punch a brotha and decide you gonna bounce with no repercussions. Not paying attention to the whispering behind me, I saw the cottage far ahead. There was a tug on the back of my shirt.

"D-Don't you think we should get that nose checked out first, darling?" I turned and looked down at Rarity with an eyebrow raised.

"I'll be fine. I want her to see what she did while I'm doing the same thing to her."

"You gonna beat up Fluttershy?" Jack said, furrowing his brows. Brianna stayed silent, looking away.

"But Eggsy, your nose is really really reeeeeaaallyy bloody and its uh.. really freaky to your sister!"

"Fine.. but Fluttershy's still gonna take her medicine." I looked back at the cottage before Rarity and Pinkie hastefully tugged me away from it. I was taken to Rarity's since she had an access amount of discard-able cloth to clean my nose with. I had to lie down on a 'familiar piece of furniture' to make her job easier. I had to make sure I had my head elevated so I didn't drown in my own blood.

"Xavier, you need to rest up, dear." Rarity said. "You shouldn't be out and about in this condition." It's just a nosebleed.

"Yeah! We'll talk to Nasty Fluttershy for you. We'll make sure she's sorry!" Pinkie said before dashing out the door.

"Yes, we'll sort matters from here. Wouldn't want things to get worse now would we?" I knew what they were doing. They were keeping me here for Fluttershy's sake. Before they could leave, I spoke up.

"You know, the funny thing is, I know you're playin me." I said, stopping everyone in their tracks, closing my eyes. "But you're right." I assumed they were wondering if they should say anything else, but they didn't and left me alone in the boutique.

-Jack's POV-

When we left Xavier to rest up, we quietly left for Fluttershy's. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wanted to give her a bitch slap for randomly sockin' my best friend like that, but I knew that if I did, I'd never hear the end of it. It was mostly a quiet walk. Brianna was silent as if still processing everything that's happening. Pinkie, every now and then, would look behind u s and whisper something to Rarity. I wasn't really paying attention to what they were whispering about, but I guess they were talking about some plan or coming up with ideas to settle whatever this was. Doesn't take a genius to know we were all uncomfortable.

When we got there, it didn't make us feel any easier. It looked like Fluttershy was hiding from zombies with the way she had boarded her house on this windy evening.

"Oh dear. What in Equestria happened here?!"

"Is Fluttershy moving away?" Brianna said, tearing up.

I shook my head. "Nah, she probably boarded her house to keep Xavier out." I said as we walked up to the door.

Rarity started knocking. "Fluttershy? Are you in there? It's us."

"Don't worry. Xavier's not here right now, so you're safe." I added.

"No! Go away before Nasty Fluttershy hurts anypony else!" Fluttershy sounded like she's been doing some crying.

"Oh sweetie, we've all done some things that we've regret."

"We did?" Pinkie asked.

"Yeah, what did we do?"

After being glared at by Rarity, Flutters started talking again. "They're right. I'm the only one to blame! But don't worry. I'm never coming out of my house again!"

"Jack and Pinkie are not blaming you, and either am I. You just received some bad advice from that 'Iron Will' character."

"Well, I'm blaming her. She had control of herself in that situation."

"Jack, I'm sure Fluttershy already feels horrible about what she did."

"Yeah, but as much as I like making people feel good, she needs to take responsibility for her actions, ya dig?" I turned to the door. "And hiding from them'll probably make things worse." I said aloud. I was pretty sure Fluttershy could hear. "You can give a person a screwdriver, but he or she can use it as a tool for fixing, or use it as a weapon to shank someone."

The girls flinched at my violent analogy but I feel like I drove the point across well.

"Are you finished?" Rarity asked. I just shrugged. She snorted and turned to the door. "Fluttershy, you can stand up for yourself without being unpleasant about it."

"Shank!" Saying that earned me a jab in the leg.

"Jack, please!" I let the girls talk since I wasn't helping. Besides, I stopped listening as soon as I heard Fluttershy say "I'm too far gone." I felt like making siren noises for her cop-out response, but decided to use that for a later episode.

Then, out of nowhere, this large blue minotaur was walking up the road with a few goats following him. This guy was huge! He walked up to me and gave a snort. Man, I was intimidated by that guy's size.

"Who the hell are you?"

"IRON WILL'S MY NAME, TRAINING PONIES'S MY GAME!" Shit this guy is loud, and his breath be kickin...

Needless to say, I backed off if only to spare my nostrils and kept walking, waving goodbye to my pals. "Later Rarity, Later Pinkie. Bye Fluttershy! See ya at home, Bri." I'm not dealing with that guy. So I started walking back home when I came face to face with someone I'd least expect to see.

"What the-"

-Xavier's POV-

"flyin fuck are you doin here, man? I thought you'd be sleep still!" Jack said, getting in my nose-covered face. I looked over his shoulder and saw a large muscular blue minotaur tearing off boards that was covering Fluttershy's house.

"Who the hell is he?"

Jack looked back at minotaur. "Some Iron Will guy." He chuckled. "His breath got iron will of its own though."

"Nice one. What's he doing here?"

"Apparently he got business with Flutters." He shrugged. "The real question is, and I ask again, what are you doin here?"

"Oh wouldn't you like to know, Mr. Jack." I heard a splash and turned to see Pinkie and Rarity in a mud puddle. "If you must know, I have my own business to settle."

Jack stood right in my way. "Yo, you're really gonna hit Fluttershy? Cmon man, ya better than this."

I spun around him like a football player. "She wasn't above nearly breaking my nose. She drew blood."

Then, I saw my target come out of hiding to confront the minotaur. "Target sighted." Before I could reach her, Pinkie and Rarity stood in my way.

"Xavier, what're you doing here! You're supposed to be resting!"

"Yeah! Why don't you go on home and let your good ol' Auntie Pinkie handle this." Pinkie said, grabbing my hand and attempting to lead me away.

Not having any of it. I yanked my hand out of her grip and kept strolling towards the minotaur and Fluttershy.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT SATISFIED?!? EVERYPONY HAS ALWAYS BEEN SATISFIED!!" Said Iron Will.

Fluttershy took a quick glance at me and her friends before looking back at him. "I guess I'm the first. And since I'm not satisfied, I'm not paying."

"So you're the one who encouraged her to be a flat out bitch to everyone?" I said. "You're the one who told her to sucker punch me?"

"Told her to what? NO!" Iron Will crossed her arms. "I teach ponies not to be a door mat and stop them from being pushover!"

"And he guaranteed 100% that we'd be satisfied or we pay nothing. I'm not paying." Fluttershy said.

I looked back up at the minotaur. "Is that true?"

"Well.. That's what I said, but.."

"Then you have no further business with her. Take yo stank breath and get the fuq out." I said bluntly, pointing at the road.

Breathing into his hand and sniffing, he gagged and took a hike. His goats followed.

"Um... Xavier?"

I slowly turned to the yellow pegasus who was hiding her face behind her mane. Good. She knows why I'm here. "What?"

"I'm.. sorry for hurting you. I never meant to injure you.." She said in a sad tone. She's gonna fuckin cry her way out of this? "I just.. I don't know what came over me." She looked up at me, but I saw no tears, but strange enough a smile. "But Jack is right, and I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions. Iron Will gave me a tool and I used it as a weapon and 'shanked' you with it." I turned my head to Jack, mouthing the words 'what the fuck'. He simply shrugged as Fluttershy continued. "That's why I would like to make it up to you. I'll do anything."

"Well that's good to hear." I said, turning back to her. "Because there's a saying of my world. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

Fluttershy's ears folded backwards as she looked down at her hooves. Being the white knight he is, Jack didn't keep his mouth shut and got in my face. "Woah woah woah! You fuckin serious?! You're seriously gonna hurt Fluttershy?! Are you-"

"No Jack. If it'll make up for me hurting him, I suppose it's right." Fluttershy was looking at me, smiling. I could see Brianna judging me. No. I could see everyone judging me, Jack judging me up close. "I'm ready." I balled my hand into a fist, looked at her for a while. There was heavy tension in the air, and I was right in the middle of it.

Finally, I manned up and took a swing, but stopped not even half way. Fluttershy didn't even flinch. Cmon, Xavier, she gave you a bloody fuckin nose! I took another swing, but looking at her made me stop, again. Looking at her, the way she was smiling. I couldn't do it. She nearly broke my nose, but I still couldn't do it.

Jack smirked. "Can't do it, ca-" I swung one last time with an open palm, making contact.

A high pitched feminine scream was heard from distances away.

Author's note:
Alright guys. That's it for S2 Chapter 12. Sorry about the month long update, but writer's block and Pokemon Moon have been acting as brick walls for the chapter's progress and yeah, it's been a bother (okay not really).

Anyway, it sounds like Fluttershy got the shit slapped out of her. Wonder how that's gonna turn out in the next chapt-

*A Pink Pony appeared behind the writer scaring the living shit out of him*

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"

Ending the chapter?

"It can be soooo much better! And did Xavier really hit Fluttershy? That sounds so unlike what would happen."

Not really. Just spoiled it for the readers. Fine, I'll keep working.

Xavier was walking home followed by everyone and pony, Brianna still giggling. We all agreed we'd hang out at our place for a while to relax from the tension that passed. Since Rarity Brianna and Pinkie took the couch, and 'redneck' Jack took the chair holding a bag of ice over the back of his neck, that left me and everyone else on the floor. And by everyone else, I mean Rainbow, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Jack's brothers. I had just finished filling Rainbow in on everything that happened recently. She wasn't too happy with Fluttershy socking me, but she forgave her this time, so long as it never happened again.

"Never ever again. Okay? No matter who tells you to. Got it?"

"Okay..." Fluttershy was looking down, ears flat on her head. I lifted her head forcing to look at me and smiled, letting her know that I forgive her. This time. She smiled back in return. However, one thing I didn't notice was my sneaky ship-happy sister who had snuck up behind us both and took advantage of how close my lips were to Fluttershy's. Needless to say, Fluttershy's head went from butter yellow to fire red in seconds.

"Brianna!" I yelled after my sister who ran up the stairs giggling. "Wait 'til I get my hands on that girl and-" I was interrupted when a yellow hoof pulled me into another kiss. For a brief moment, I had forgotten all of what was troubling me. It felt like it was just me and her there. However when the kiss was broken, I looked around and much to Fluttershy's embarrassment, all attention were on us with Twilight and Rainbow giving nods of approval which could only mean one thing...

I have four mares now...

Goddammit Brianna....

Author's Note

And that is really it for this chapter. No pink ponies popping up this time. Thanks for reading. I will start working on the next chapter soon, which probably won't be based off of an episode of the show for once.

S2 Chapter 13: Random Shorts

S2 Chapter 13:

Random Shorts

-Xavier's Recap-

Eugh! Last week was such a drag... The main cause of my problems? Brianna! Not only did she spearhead Fluttershy into the herd, and because of that I have four mares that're tied to me, but her gauding! Brianna was embarrassing both me and Fluttershy with inappropriate comments, gestures, shoving us together, one night she even set up a candle lit "dinner" for us. Fortunately, Flutters and I decided to talk to her on Friday because it had to stop. Fluttershy did most of the talking because she said I was doing more whining than explaining anything, right in front of Bri. At least she was nice about it.

With Brianna out of the way, we talked and I found out that Fluttershy has had a crush on me since last year's Nightmare Night. That and added on to how happy Rainbow was with me, she figured she wanted in. However, when I was hospitalized, she realized how fast I could be taken away from everyone and has been trying to muster up the courage to join my herd ever since. It explains why she's been acting unusual since I got out. Well, at least she's relatively normal, although she does act like a friggin school girl when I wave to her, seeing her on a regular day. It's cute though. Although, I'm thinking about drawing the line pretty soon.. A few nights with three mares in my bed at once had started triggering my claustrophobia.

-End of Recap-

-Luna's POV-

While dream walking, I found myself in a peculiar dream that gave off negative vibes. Of what I have yet to figure out. From what I can tell, this wasn't a mere pony's dream. I was in what looked like a kitchen, standing beside a table with a plate of fish bones, a cut loaf of bread, a broken jar of what seemed like strawberry jam. The chairs gave it a way that it was a minotaur's dream for they were way to high to be a pony's. Walking around, I was looking for whomever the dream belonged to, only to slip on a wheeled plank of wood. Who would leave such a contraption on the floor like this?! I could've broken my neck! And this floor is filthy! Standing back up, I noticed a slice of..... meat... surrounded by knives and ants. This would be a nightmare of any pony, if it were a pony's dream. However, I noticed there were prints on the floor. Shoe prints. This can only mean that this dream belongs to one of the-

"LET ME IN YOU FUCKING DICK!! LET ME IN!!!" My head snapped up and toward the source looking for the cause of the outburst. "I SAID LET ME IN!! ALMOST THERE!!! RRRAAAAAAAUUUGH!!!!"

Then I have witnessed it. One slice of bread that was on the toaster was spontaneously flung into the air by an unimaginable force. "NOO!!! FUUUUUUUUUCK!!! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT TOASTER!! I WILL MURDER YOUR FUCKING FAMILY!!!" I stared at the slice of bread that was sitting on the floor, before it started flipping back towards the counter the toaster rested on, climbing up the counter and trying to get inside of the toaster. Is this seriously what's causing the negative energy coming from this dream? Rolling my eyes, I used my magic to hold the profanity-shouting bread up to my eye level. "What the f-.... oh. It's you."

"May I be of any assistance, Xavier?" I asked.

"First, I'm Jack. Second, yes please."

-Jeff's POV-

Dragons. They wanted to follow the little guy to be with dragons. Not one dragon in the mountains, no. Many dragons that lived on top of fuckin volcanoes! I broke my legs one too many goin on hikin trips with these ponies and never again! Maybe when I got other hands who got my back but pansy pony hooves aint cuttin it! Wanna know whats happened? They're callin' me to save their hides! Ponies can't do shit by themselves!

"Those mares are screwed in the head. Why the hell am I here? This is their fault and their mess to clean up, not mine!"

The ponies had dragged me yesterday morning to a trench in order protect them from fire breathing dragons. Fire breathing fucking dragons! And they just had to pick on the little guy who wanted to be seen as a man instead of an adorable joke these pansy bitches turned him into. Hearts out to the fella, but he really should've let Star-butt do the cookin and bringin' in the cookies tea and snacks. Why have a man do all that shit wearin that Barbie-doll apron? That shit's embarrassin' to us, even I was mortified by just lookin at him!

"I would've ran away too."

And here I am about to save their bacons! Three of them. I saw three. They were laughing at how utterly fuckin rediculous the pony's fighting stances were. I'm no martial artist but I know that these weak ass ponies cant fight themselves through piss, and Rainbow'll be fuckin creamed again but by a dragon this time. And then Xavier'll be on my ass again.

"Ah what the hell."

I pulled out Hank and shot in the air, gaining everyone's attention.

"Alright lizard breaths. Think you're tough takin on three girly namby pamby ponies, right?!" "Hey!!!" "Well good for you! Guess ya aint man enough to take on a real fighter eh?"

The dragons looked at him and snorted up smoke. "Oh look. You bring some weirdo monkey to fight your battles for you, Spike?"

I fired Hank again, this time at the ground right in front of their feet. One of the bullets grazed the red one's toe, making him jump back. "Oi. Spike's a tough trooper and a friend. I have a sayin' when it comes to friends, and I'll only say it once." I took a step towards the three. "Ya fuck with my friends, you fuck with me. And you do not want to fuck with me!" He raised his weapon again and shot the big one's spikeball tail off. It didn't take long for them to get the message and run off, tail between their legs while leaving a little trail of blood. "Yeah ya better run!"

It also didn't take long for one of the ponies to open their mouths. "Jeff, I appreciate you rescuing us, but did you really have to go that far? You shot his tail off!"

"Aw bullshit, they're lizards. The big one's tail will grow back." I collected my new trophy and left.

A week later

-Brianna's POV-

"Now remember, Angel. Brianna is in charge while I'm away, but I expect you to help her take care of the others too, okay?" Fluttershy said talking to her bunny. Angel saluted before hopping to another room cutely. It was still an early Saturday morning. I'm usually hear later than this but Fluttershy needed my help really early because she needed to be somewhere away from her animals for a while. She didn't tell me this, but she wrote on the chart my brothers use. I'm curious though.

"Where are ya goin' Flutternee-chan?" I asked.

She looked over her shoulder and smiled at the new nickname I gave her since she started ~~lovin'~~ ~~kissin'~~ ~~smoochie smoochie-ing~~ seeing my brother. "Oh, I just need to get ready to help Rainbow Dash and the other pegasi in Ponyville with something imporant. She and your brother will meet me there."

"Oh. Well be careful Flutternee-chan!" I yelled, waving.

"I will. You be good now, and hold down the fort for me, okay?" She said in a sweet tone. "We'll do something very special for you when this is all over."

"Sweeeeet!! I WON'T LET YOU DOWN!" I said giving a salute like Angel.

She giggled. "See you soon, Brianna." She said before leaving.

I waved one last time before dashing straight to he kitchen where a list and a bunny waits for me. I look at the very long long...long......long... list of stuff to do. Gee... this is a lotta stuff... Angel looks at me worried-like when he sees me looking at the list. Angel and I have gotten close over the years. At first he was like, ish, because he was sorta mean to me. One time on his special day, Fluttershy asked me and Pinkie to help her make a carrot cupcake for him. I think that's when we started getting along because Fluttershy and Pinkie gave me all the credit. He's been like another brother to me since, but more cuddly. I came to understand that he felt Fluttershy needed a some sort of guardian to keep the bullies away that's not a bear and felt he fit that role. Even though sometimes Angel was bein the bully, that naughty bunny. Sometimes I had to keep him in check, but we're good friends that care about each other.

Angel snapped me out of my thoughts and pointed to the first thing on the list. The first thing that was on the list was egg collecting. That sounds too easy... I looked at the list, skimming the rest of it and found the worst most frown-uponable task there was to imagine that could ever possibly be on any list ever! Cleaning Harry's pen... Angel looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"My bros said it's always good to get the worst task out of the way first..." This was going to be a long day indeed..

It was tough... Angel and I had cleared the entire list in three hours. Since he didn't want to go near Harry's pen, he moved on to the second worst task and got that and a few others done by the time I was finished. After that we were working together on lesser and lesser chores Fluttershy left for us and it became a breeze. The last thing we did was number one on the list, egg collecting. Since Angel's been such a cutie and a big help, I let him sleep. He gave me a hug and a few bunny kisses before he hopped off. SO KAWAII~!! I had to do something for the cute bunny buddy. I went to the kitchen and made him a big bowl of carrot salad and set it right beside his cute snoring self.

I yawned. I was tired after doing so much work. Hopefully Flutternee-chan will be back soon so we can do some fun. I lied down on the couch and closed my eyes, going off to Dreamland to see my favorite pink star warrior.

-Xavier's POV-

"Oh, Fluttershy... That was disappointing." I said, shaking my head. "I don't expect you to be Rainbow Dash, but you really gotta do better than that. You can do better than that."

Fluttershy was shaking, hiding behind her mane like a terrified child. "I'm trying but I just... I... I can't!"

"Fluttershy, you socked me in the face once, you can do this." I wasn't letting up on her. Rainbow Dash told me that I had to because I was the only one that could. I asked if Jeff could be her coach, but Rainbow was deterred from even thinking about letting that happen, saying something about him shooting a dragon's tail off. I guess he'd go too far. So there I was.

"I know and I'm sorry! I just... Everypony will laugh at me because I can't fly good.." she whimpered.

"Well fuck those guys then. This ain't about them. This is about you. See those feathered limbs ya got there? Those are your wings, not theirs!"

"But... but..."

"DO IT!!!!" I shouted. "JUST! DO IT!!!"

"What if-" Not taking it.

"Don't let your dreams be dreams!" I said, cutting her off. "Yesterday, you said tomorrow, SO JUST DO IT!!! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!!!"

"Yes sir..." She started flapping her wings again. She was carrying weights and rocks that were tied to her hooves as she was flying so she could help with her wing strength and balance.

"JUST DO IT!"

"Yes sir!"

"Some people dream success! Well you're gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!" I yelled. As she was focused on trying harder, I thought of an idea. "You should get to the point where everyone else would quit, and YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP THERE! NO!" I lept up and grabbed onto Fluttershy's hind legs, adding weight as I got on her back. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? DO IT!!!"

"Y-Yes sir!!!"

"Just... DO IT!!!"

"I can't!" she cried.

"YES YOU CAN! JUST DO IT!"

"Okay!" Regardless of me being flown around, plus all of the near crashes, she managed to keep in the air and started flying straight. Her wings straightened out as the flight became smooth. After a while of flying around for a bit and showing great improvement, she landed us both on the ground.

"If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up."

"Yes sir." She said in between pants. "I think I've finally got it!"

-A few hours later...-

And that's how Fluttershy became half as fast and powerful a flier as Rainbow Dash with 8.25 wingpower (says Twilight).

"Woah! Fluttershy! That was awesome! You've outdone yourself by a long shot! How'd you do it?!" Rainbow said, hugging Flutters.

"I had some words of encouragement from Xavier."

Twilight, Rainbow, and Fluttershy looked at me. "You helped Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. "What did you say to her?"

"I AM COACH LABEOUF!"

A few days later...

-Hiroto's POV-

I am in my room, and by my room, I mean the Roberts' guest room. I've been working on a way to create new technology using ideas I remember from Earth and applying them to this world and it's magical energy. Twilight was nice enough to let me borrow a few of her books that would help. She's been a big help in my research. Several of my projects have caught her interest, one of them being the metallic cylinders she saw me putting them into the TV remote.

One thing I realized during my studies was that there is a certain magic that fills the air, and that magic has energy. There is magic all around us in the atmosphere, and I may have an explanation as to why. It will also explain why and how Celestia and Luna can move the sun and the moon. My theory is, unlike our Sun, this one is a star completely made up of "magical energy" in which this world depends on, and Luna is able to move the moon because it has been basked in said sun's radiation for so long that it too is influenced by magic. This means that if the sun were to be replaced by, say, Earth's, Celestia will not be able to move it. Same thing for if the moon were switched for Luna, and said magical energy would decline, rendering magic users useless after a long period of time.

Thankfully, we're resistant to this energy so there are low chances of it ever effecting us negatively. With that said, but I've noticed Unicorns have been able to use this magical energy to strengthen their own if they know how, thus thinking of an idea on how to utilize it. I looked over to where dark purple ore were. Some parts of each piece of ore had glowing purple spots on them. These are ores that seem to have the same resistance to magic that we have, and have been recorded in history to have been used by being forged into armor as a military defense against unicorns by deflecting magical attacks against the forces that equips them. They have been outlawed in Canterlot and in various other places here in Equestria.

However, I have found great use for them in helping to maintain stored magical energy within these magical batteries. It took a half a year of research and experimentation, but I've finaly done it! I, Hiroto Talia Wilson, have not only created a way to use and store a renewable source of energy, but I've found a way to-

*knock knock knock*

"Hey Hiroto. Sorry to bother ya, but I know my lil bro isn't makin any doomsday weapons in here. It's all over the papers. Your pal Gabby Gums sold you out!"

It seems I am a victim of slander. I will have to relocate and continue my projects elsewhere. My older brother isn't the brightest tool in the shed and will probably believe anything he reads. Twilight is the only one I can trust to understand my urge for knowledge and my thirst for scientific inventive ventures, and I'm sure she trusts me to not create any bizarre weapon of sorts.

-Traevon's POV-

I was on my way home after a long day. I had my laptop in my bag which had the new beats Vinny and I had made. It's a good tune that even Octavia was impressed with how we remixed her cello playing. She said it wasn't anything she thought would be possible, combining the three of our opposing talents into one sweet jam. Something that hadn't ever occurred to either of them, I've made possible. It was an idea I've had for a while, but Octavia spent most of her time in Canterlot with her family and playing for the upper classed. That sucked for both of us. We were able to do it now because she was off, and she was pretty interested when Vinny and I asked her to play for us. I was glad to have been able to make it worth her while.

On the way home, I passed Hiroto who was carrying a large cart of something that was covered. Where's that kid headed? Paying him no mind, I was finally home. The first thing I was greeted to were the two wide grins from my little brother and his best friend. I didn't like the way they looked. Not one bit.

"What?" I asked.

"Brooooo." Xavier started. "Gotta say bro, glad you've finally loosened up. I'm happy for ya."

"What're you talkin about?"

Now it was Jack's turn. "Oh, you know. You're probably just coming back from seeing them. Welcome to our side."

"I still have no idea what you-"

"TRAEVON! IN HERE, NOW!" I heard Jeff's voice booming from another room. What the hell? I thought, walking to the dining room where he was sitting. Jeff was staring at me. I could only look at him with a raised brow. After what seemed to be hours, he finally spoke.

"Why?"

"What are you-"

"WHY?!" He said, looking and sounding genuinely upset. Nearly heartbroken. "WHY DID YOU GIVE IN?!? I THOUGHT WE WERE THE ONLY PURE ONES LEFT, AND NOW IT'S JUST ME AND ME ALONE!!!"

"Alright, Jeff, what's all this about? You and those other two have been actin strange when I got home and I want some explanations now, or I'm heading straight to my room!" He didn't say anything, but instead he threw a newspaper at me. One of the stories on there was titled 'Local DJ and Gala Cello Player Herding with Oldest Alien Resident! - written by Gabby Gums' with the picture of the two cuddling me. I knew then what was going on.

Fuck..

"Please!" Jeff begged. "Please say it ain't so! Please tell me you're not a horse fucker! Please tell me you aren't into bestiality like those two!"

"It's not bestiality because they aren't beasts!" Xavier called out from the other room. "They're capable of intelligence and verbal communication just like we are. The word you're looking for is xenophilia!"

I sighed. "Sorry to say Jeff, but the DJ and I have been at it for about a year now, along with her roommate and Miss Heartstrings. You've been the last 'pure one' left for a while. Sorry." Ignoring his wails of disbelief, I headed up to my room and closed the door to listen to my herd's new tunes.

A few days later...

-3rd Person-

"Wake up, boy. Tis time to fess up to your crimes."

Jonathan was woken up by not a hand, or a hoof, but a claw. "Five more minutes.." The 8 year old mumbled

"Gustav, the lil fella aint guilty of eatin your eclairs." His brother's fillyfriend said. "Ya'll can trust me on that."

"And what makes you so sure?" replied the European-accented griffin. "Kids cannot seem to help zemselves zese days, can zey."

"But I didn't do it!" The kid whined.

Jonathan did not want to be on the trip. However, since he was still in trouble for being a part of Gabby Gums' scandals, he was forced by his older brother to stay with Applejack. Jonathan always thought the farm life was boring, so he let Jonathan stay with the Apples, but away from Applebloom. Applebloom stayed with Rarity, whereas Sweetie Belle stayed with the humans. Jonathan didn't know what happened to Scootaloo, but the little pegasus wore a skirt to hide her embarrassment and avoided sitting for a while. It was decided that Jonathan would tag along with Applejack in whatever she was doing. He wasn't having fun one bit, and she wasn't making it fun for him either. Punishment, not Funishment. Which means, if Applejack went apple bucking, he went with her. Applejack went to sell apples, he went with her. Applejack goes on a train to Canterlot to help Pinkie deliver a cake, he went with her.

And now he was being blamed for eating everyone's baked entries.

"Who else could it be?"

"Now you listen here, ya ol' bird! Ah know this youngin' enough to know he ain't do it. Now leave lil Johnny alone."

"Stop it." Twilight interrupted. "Gustav, look at him. It doesn't take a genius to see he didn't do it. Look at his hands. His face! It's clean."

"And he is a messy eater." Rarity chipped.

Jonathan, still a little grumpy about how he was rudely woken up from a nap, went to the girls' car and slept on Applejack's bed. He was still tired for attempting to stay up all night with Pinkie to help her watch. That didn't happen. He fell asleep thirty minutes into the night. So Pinkie ended up moving him to a corner out of the way while keeping an eye on the goods she was guarding. Needless to say, he missed out on most of the drama during his entire trip.

When the train arrived to Canterlot, everyone had gotten over themselves as they found the culprits behind the snackery, the culprits being almost everyone but Jonathan, the conductor, Pinkie, Applejack and Twilight on that train. They end up merging their baked goods together and boy did Gustav feel stupid for trying to blame it on the kid. To make up for it, he offered him one of his eclairs.

"Woah now! Hold on, Gustav!" Applejack warned, but it was too late. Jonathan had already taken a bite. The boy's eyes dilated before he broke into song. Or what one would assume would be if he wasn't just screaming while trying to sing Back in Black, if he knew the words, while playing air guitar. Not even Celestia had seen anything like this in a foal.

"HEEEYEEYEEYEEEYEEEY!!"

AJ couldn't help but give the cringing Gustav a smug look. "So zis is why you were so certain of ze boy's innocence?"

"Eeyup."

Pinkie joined the kid in his rush, thus adding more to the cringe. Twilight turned to the rest of her friends.

"Girls, we need to keep those two separated."

Author's Note

The chapter is finally done. Writing this chapter was difficult. This is the first time I tried to cover multiple episodes in one chapter. Maybe I'm too eager to get started with 'the wedding'.

Which will be next. Thanks for your patience guys! Sorry again for making you guys wait so long.

Chapter 14 S2: The Canterlot Weeding [April Fools]

Chapter 14 S2: The Weeding

-Xavier's Recall-

Ever since the last thing that happened, things have gotten wacky, but then ended up calming down a bit. How did things get wacky? Wouldn't you like to know. Long story short, I ended up with 12 more mares in my herd. I'm not going to name them all, but let's say that Derpy/Ditzydoo and Bonbon were the first two that joined my herd and Celestia was the last. How it all happened? I do not really want to talk about it. Long story short, it involved one night at one really big party, and I'm never going near a punch bowl again, especially in heat season. Needless to say, Jeff stopped talking to me. Ever since Bro was exposed by Gabby Gums which turned out to be the Bri and her friends, they were giving each other the silent treatment. However, back to me here. My room ended up being the 'herd hangout place' so I had to say goodbye to privacy. That's basically the only other interesting thing that happened besides Hiroto building a satellite dish for some reason.

-End of Recap-

It was an average day that I woke up to. Well, not really average. Those days are gone. An average day would be me waking up, freeing myself from Dash, Twilight, and Fluttershy, and going to the bathroom to get myself cleaned and ready for the day. No. I woke up, freed myself from Rainbow, Twilight, Fluttershy, Photo Finish, Spitfire, Lily, Spike who was now called Barbs due to an irreversable genderbending spell put on her, and had to step over Bonbon, Cheerilee, Scootaloo's widowed mom who's name escapes me, Trixie, Gilda, Pinkie, and Derpy. Am I gonna have to build a stable for these ponies?

Finaly making it out of my room, Celestia was just finished raising the sun. I took care of my hygiene and breakfast, grabbed a cup of coffee before heading outside only to come face to face with Celestia, who was grinning in my face.

"Good morning my favorite human." She said before kissing me.

"Sup Sunbutt."

"Nothing. Just coming to check on my fiancé." I almost choked on my coffee. "My niece and I thought it would be a good idea to have a double wedding!" She said in excitement. "Doesn't that sound fun?"

I was very reluctant to answer. She picked up on it and glared.

"Well?! Doesn't it?!" She said through her teeth.

"I-I guess?"

"What do you mean 'you guess'?" I heard from behind me. I turned to see the rest of my herd.

"You're marrying Princess Celestia!" Twilight said.

"I'm not ready for marriage yet!!! I just became old enough to drink this year!" I protested.

"Well that's too bad! You're getting hitched!" said Celestia with glee. "Or should I send you to the moon for rejecting a princess?"

"Hah! Not like you can! Resistant to magic, remember? All of us humans are!"

Celestia and the girls started laughing. "All of the humans you say?" What are you talking about? "You are the last one left!"

"Heya man." I turned to the new voice only to see not my best friend, but a pony version of him, his brothers, and my siblings. They were all ponies!!

"We found a way to make them permanently ponies! You're gonna be a pony too!" Pinkie said.

"I can't believe this! You were my friends! I thought you liked me for who and what I am! What the fuck!" I was in rage.

"So that's a no for the wedding?"

"Damn straight!"

"Then say hello to Jeff on the moon you bucking monkey." Rainbow said before Celestia somehow used magic to send me to the moon.

"How did-" Was all I was able to say until I couldn't breathe. I could see Equuis from a great distance. I was on the moon with no air.

I was then levitated by a pink light.

The next day of the wedding. The ponies were cheering for Princess Mi Amour Cadenza and Shining Armor, the newly wedded. They had a little trouble with the changelings, but all was well after they took care of it. At the reception, Cadence threw the bouquet at the bridesmares and was caught by Applejack who nuzzled Jack afterwards. It seemed like they were getting married next.

However, they didn't know they were being watched. As the ponies ate their salads and their vegetables, the mysterious watchers were fuming with hatred for the ponies.

"The humans were right! These disgusting blasphemous creatures are monsters!" the being said. "We need to save our kind by eliminating them! We need to tell our fleet to ready their Blades and rid the planet of these 'ponies'!"

Down below Equuis's atmosphere, ponies were starting to go home to rest for the upcoming day. That was, unless they were the royal sisters. Luna had burst into Celestia's room with a pod in her magical grasp.

"Tia! Tia! You must see this! This strange meteor fell out of the sky and landed right infront of the castle!"

The message contained a written holographic message: "The Vlikkians are coming for your asses. Love, Xavier."

"How could he send a message from the moon?" Luna asked, worried. "Not even I was able to communicate with you or anypony in Equestria during my banishment."

Just then, explosions and screaming were heard as something large and green flew by Celestia's tower. Celestia looked out of her window to see hundreds of airborne vessels of alien origin that were rapidly firing green blobs that corroded everything it touched. Their city and defenses were still weakened by the changeling attack, Celestia included. Luna took off to the air to fire a few blasts, but only damaging one ship before it turned and fired at her. The Lunar princess tried to dodge all of them, but there were too many. One hit her as her sister watched her flesh and bones corrode into nothingness infront of her.

Celestia, now enraged, fired the most powerful spell she could muster, the solar fire ball, at the ships. However, they all simply strafed out of the way before firing barrages at her tower. Celestia couldn't do anything else but gracefully face her death. The Canterlot citizens, could only watch in despair as Celestia's corroded tower fell.

There was no where the ponies could hide. Canterlot was only the first target. Afterwards, they hit Ponyville, Cloudsdale, Trottingham, Apploosa, Manehattan, every Equestrian town and city that harbored ponies. The only ponies that would be spared were a specific few.

On board the Vlikkian's flagship, the two humans were sharing a meaty dinner while watching the show down below with the captain of the ship. The two humans, who introduced themselves as Jeff and Xavier, had told them that the ponies sent them to the moon to die because they didn't want to be turned into vegetable eating ponies like they did their friends and family. That's when they decided to see for themselves.

"Thanks again for saving our asses" Jeff said.

"Oh our hearts go out to those who have suffered under the hands of those vegetable eaters." The captain said in a cheerful-yet sorrowful tone. "We should be thanking you for pointing us to the weeds in our garden of space."

The cheerful voice that these plant-like aliens had were making Jeff grit his teeth, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Anyway, do you know where planet Earth is? We'd like to go back there if we can."

"Our world is also called Earth, but I assume you mean the ones inhabited by humans? Yes, we do. We can have you there in a month by Hyperspace." It said.

"Sweet."

"Damn I miss titties!" Jeff said.

"You're called Vlikkians, right?" I asked. "Just so I'd know who to thank.

"Yes, but our allies and friends call us the Supox."

And then they started their way home to the human homeworld Earth, leaving behind a large corroded crater on Equuis where Equestria used to be. The ponies were dead, and the human-turned ponies were now turned back to human.

It was a victory for the Supox.

[click for victory]

Author's Notes: And now to make it seem like this is a really long chapter, have a long look below (or skip it)!

According to all known laws
of aviation,

there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

Barry?
Adam?
Oan you believe this is happening?
I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

You got lint on your fuzz.
Ow! That's me!
Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
Bye!

Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

Hey, Adam.
Hey, Barry.
Is that fuzz gel?
A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school,
three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

Hi, Barry.
Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
Hear about Frankie?
Yeah.
You going to the funeral?
No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.

I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.

Well, Adam, today we are men.
We are!
Bee-men.
Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…

…9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

Wonder what it'll be like?
A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…

Honey!

That girl was hot.
She's my cousin!
She is?
Yes, we're all cousins.
Right. You're right.
At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect
of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.

You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?

That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

You're gonna be a stirrer?
No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!

I'm so proud.

We're starting work today!
Today's the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…

Is it still available?
Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.

What'd you get?
Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

You want to go first?
No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.

Any chance of getting the Krelman?
Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?

ssed
the wrong sword!

You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!

Where is the honey coming from?

Tell me where!

Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

Orazy person!

What horrible thing has happened here?

These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now

they're on the road to nowhere!

Just keep still.

What? You're not dead?

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

I'm going to Tacoma.

And you?
He really is dead.

All right.

Uh-oh!

What is that?!
Oh, no!
A wiper! Triple blade!
Triple blade?

Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!

How much do you people need to see?!

Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!

From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.

But don't kill no more bugs!

Bee!
Moose blood guy!!
You hear something?
Like what?

Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.

Whassup, bee boy?

Hey, Blood.

Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.

Wow!

I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.

I mean, that honey's ours.

Bees hang tight.
We're all jammed in.

It's a close community.

Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.

What if you get in trouble?
You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!

At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.

Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.

Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

You got to be kidding me!

Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!

Hey, guys!
Mooseblood!

I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.

What is this place?

A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.

They are pinheads!

Pinhead.

Oheck out the new smoker.
Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

The Thomas 3000!

Smoker?

Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.

They make the honey,
and we make the money.

“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?

Oh, my!

What's going on? Are you OK?

Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?

Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.

This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!

That's a drag queen!

What is this?

Oh, no!

There's hundreds of them!

Bee honey.

Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!

This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.

Oh, Barry, stop.

Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.

Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.

How did you get mixed up in this?

He's been talking to humans.

What?
Talking to humans?!

He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!

Make out? Barry!

We do not.

You wish you could.
Whose side are you on?

The bees!

I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?

I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!

Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.

I remember that.

What right do they have to our honey?

We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

Sting them where it really hurts.

In the face! The eye!

That would hurt.
No.

Up the nose? That's a killer.

There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.

Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.

No more bee beards!

With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

Weather with Storm Stinger.

Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Ohung.

Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,

packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!

Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,

Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

Did you ever think, “I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this”?

Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.

What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.

How old are you?

The bee community
is supporting you in this case,

which will be the trial
of the bee century.

You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.

It's a common name. Next week…

He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…

Next week…

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ‘em.

Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.

In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.

Is that that same bee?
Yes, it is!

I'm helping him sue the human race.

Hello.
Hello, bee.

This is Ken.

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

Why does he talk again?

Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.

But it's our yogurt night!

Bye-bye.

Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!

Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.

Frosting…
How many sugars?

Just one. I try not
to use the competition.

So why are you helping me?

Bees have good qualities.

And it takes my mind off the shop.

Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.

Those are great, if you're three.

And artificial flowers.

Oh, those just get me psychotic!
Yeah, me too.

Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!

Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.

Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.

This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
I guess.

You sure you want to go through with it?

Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able

to say, “Honey, I'm home,”
without paying a royalty!

It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,

where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,

we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.

You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?

Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.

What's the matter?
I don't know, I just got a chill.

Well, if it isn't the bee team.

You boys work on this?

All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.

All right. Oase number 4475,

Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

is now in session.

Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?

A privilege.

Mr. Benson… you're representing
all the bees of the world?

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.

Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

my grandmother was a simple woman.

Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right

to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,

just think of what would it mean.

I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm

for the elastic in my britches!

Talking bee!

How do we know this isn't some sort of

holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?

They could be using laser beams!

Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,

he could be on steroids!

Mr. Benson?

Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.

I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.

It's important to all bees.
We invented it!

We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.

Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room

who think they can take it from us

'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have

but everything we are!

I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!

Oall your first witness.

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.

I suppose so.

I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!

Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.

Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?

No.
I couldn't hear you.
No.
No.

Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,

it seems you thou

Author's Note

And that is it for Chapter 14 and the entire script of The Bee Movie. Or should I say

APRIL FOOLS!!! This is a joke April Fools chapter. Hahaha! Did you guys really think that I'd kill off the characters? Shiiiiit.

I basically got the idea from the new chapter, "The Canterlot Wedding." I made a typo when creating the chapter and thought of these guys:
and their ships

Killing off the ponies because they HATE vegetarians and vegans.

Anyway, no one's really dead and I've already started typing up the real Chapter 14 so no worries. This was just an April Fools joke. Duh... look at the date. :trollestia:

For those who fell for it though:

[Edited]

I went on ahead and changed the title. I think the joke ran its course and it's not April Fools anymore.

S2 Finale Chapter 14: Canterlot Wedding pt 1

-Xavier's Recap-

Heat Season happened. This time we were better prepared. The moment we started seeing mares acting strangely, and the lack of any stallions around, we locked up the house like The Walking Dead. Rainbow, Twilight and I have been seeing each other for years, maybe, but I prefer my first... well.. second time to be with a non-sex-craved mare. Twilight, although she had pills, still left her scent on my floor last year, so that's another reason why my house was a no-pony zone during heat season. No exceptions. Of course, I had to deal with a grouchy herd after heat season ended. I didn't really care because, as Fluttershy said, "No means no." They got over it quickly thankfully. My buddies agreed that I didn't have to get raped by mares if I didn't want to.

Also, Hiroto may be on the way to making our phones work again soon. That kid is freakishly smart! He's made batteries that stores magical energy he gets from the air or something. I couldn't understand half of what the guy was saying, but it sounded smart and nerdy. Not that it's a bad thing or anything. You can never have enough smart people. That goes the same for Equestria and Earth. The more brains the better. He could take a break for a while though. And he could use some exercise too. At this rate, he'll be Ponyville's first Sumo Wrestler. Having brains is good, but it won't help much with stopping a heart attack when ya get it. Anyway, Hiroto invented the magic battery along with enhanced walkie talkies that have a connection that'll reach all the way to Canterlot. And the crusaders said he was making a super weapon. Shame on you Jack for actually believing that bullshit.

-End of Recap-

(Saturday 6/3)

I was tea bagging over Jack's dead body in Halo multiplayer when I heard knocks at the door. I was too busy owning almost everyone and catching up to my brother in scores, so whoever was knocking at the door was made to wait. The knocking did continue for those ten minutes, but when I ended up being tied with my bro, I went to the door and opened it for Twilight, who in turn wasn't too happy with me making her wait.

"What took you so long?! I was out here waiting for hours!" She said.

"I was in the middle of something." Twilight looked behind me to see what the humans were doing before raising an eye at him. "Hey! Trae always win and I finally tied to him, alright?!"

"Really?" She asked, bemused.

"Anyway, what's got your tail in a twist, huh?"

"Well, if you must know, my brother is getting married, and I'm the last to know about it." She started ranting. "I thought I was special to him. I expected to be the first to know, not the very last!"

"Mhm.." I said, already having the life drained out of me.

"I mean, how would you feel if Traevon got married but didn't tell you?" She asked.

"Wouldn't care. Private weddings are a thing."

"Seriously?" Twilight asked, dumbfounded. "You seriously wouldn't care?!"

"Nope. Some people prefer not to have traditional weddings on Earth. Not all weddings have to have hundreds of people attending and a priest, or white flying doves, or cake, or all of that expensive stuff." I explained.

"But in Equestria, it's..." She sighed. "I'll explain it later, but Celestia wants all of you to be there."

"Hell no!" Jeff said from the other room.

"Nah, too sappy for me." Said Jack.

"But the princess-"

"Can kiss my ass! I'm not going!" Said Jeff.

I looked at Twilight. "Don't force it, please. Bro and I'll go at least. He'll be headed there with Octavia."

"How did you know?"

"He told me about a wedd- oh this is the same wedding! Heheh, woah.. more people knew about this wedding, even people who didn't really care. Holy shit, Twi!" I chuckled.

Twilight's face was red as she was fuming. "You're not helping!" She said through her teeth. I picked her up and hugged her.

"Twilight, you know I love picking on you. Relax, I'm sure your bro had a good reason why he didn't tell you."

"Like what?" She said, her ears folding to the side. "What could be so important that he couldn't bother to tell his BLSFF?"

"Not gonna ask what that stands for, but..." I looked at Canterlot and noticed something strange. "think it might have something to do with why the city looks like a pink snow-less snow globe?" I said, pointing. There was a bubble around the whole city.

Twilight looked, but was unphased. "Yes, I admit that's weird, but what does that have to do with my brother and his wedding? The pink is probably just there to make it look all lovey dovey. It doesn't explain why he didn't tell me."

"Well, I'm assuming we're gonna be staying a night in Canterlot, so I suppose you should pause on the ranting a bit and let me pack at least?" I said, scratching behind her ears. The girls love it when I do that. She nuzzled and waited outside while I went up to get my things. Bro was already packed, and by the time I was and down stairs, his herd was already waiting for him at the front door with Twilight. Didn't think Vinyl was the type to go to weddings. They aren't necessarily 'wubby.'

We met the others on the train to Canterlot. Lyra was babbling on about being a bridesmare while bro patted her back. But that got me thinking. I don't remember them telling me about marriage.

"Hey, Twilight. Can I ask ya somethin?" She looked up at me with her ears perked up. "I was wondering, isn't marriage a thing between only two people or ponies? How would that happen if a stallion has a herd?"

"Why are you asking?" She asked. "Is something on your mind?"

"Well, where I'm from, marriage is usually between one man and one female. However, apparently you can have as many females as you want here, so how does it work?"

Twilight giggled. "Thinking about the future? Xavier, some ponies fall for only one other pony, and that pony can only love said pony. It's rare, but it does happen." Son of a bitch... "But a stallion can get married to his entire herd if he wanted to. It all depends on how everypony in the herd feels about it. So relax." I have a headache...

I nodded my head, pretending that she was right about why I asked. I hope marriage is more rewarding here than on Earth. I closed my eyes and took a long nap.

"Xavier, wake up. We're here." Twilight said, unhappily.

I did as told, waking up as I was shaken lightly by the unicorn. Yawning, I got my bags and walked out of the train behind a grumbling Twilight. I scratched behind her ears to help her relieve tension. "I'm sure he has a good reason. Relax, Twi."

"I'll try." She said, giving me a weak smile, but her folded back ears didn't lie. She was still very irritated. I noticed there were quite a few guards around, and frankly they looked in better shape than they did during my first encounter with them. A few might even be able to take me on. Soon, we found my favorite guard of all, Shining Armor.

"I've got something to say to you, mister!" She said, storming up to him.

"Twily!" He came down from his post. "Aw I missed you kid! How was the- wait.." He caught notice of me.

"Hey. Nice to met ya again, Shining Armor." I snickered while waving. No matter how many times I hear it, it doesn't sound any less cheezy.

"You brought him here?! Are you nuts?! He's trouble waiting to happen!"

"Well, yeah, the princesses invited him."

"You knew I was trouble when I walked in. But the princess didn't know no no." I sang.

"This isn't about him, Shining. This is about you." She said. "How dare you not tell me in person that you were getting married! I'm your sister for ponies' sake!"

Long story short, someone tipped off a big danger that was on its way to Canterlot and Shining was responsible for holding the shield up. After he finished explaining, Twilight turned her head to look at me, knowing what was coming.

"Called it!"

"Excuse me, Xander or whatever your name really is, can I speak to my sister in private please?" Shining asked.

"Oh don't mind me. I'm practically not paying any attention anyway. This is an issue between you and your sis."

-3rd Person-

Frankly he was being true to his word. He stood from a distance and was more focused on the other guards who were eyeing him suspiciously. I guess if Shining hates me, so do they. A smile spread across his face as he thought of a way to make his stay here more fun. Good. They're gonna really hate me soon enough. he thought. After a while, another tall pony that had a pink coat and a pink, yellow and purple mane walked out of a building to her fiance. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, aka Cadence, who Xavier didn't know was actually Twilight's childhood foalsitter.

Twilight was excited at first, doing a dance only she and Cadence knew, but when she didn't dance back and seemed uninterested in her, Twilight was wondering what was wrong. More so, she noticed Xavier was looking at her funny. His furrowed brows she assumed was because of how Cadence seemed rude to Twilight. It was something else, but he couldn't put his finger on it just yet, but it was off to him. When Cadence left with shining, Xavier walked up to her.

"You okay there Twilight?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, but something isn't right.."

The two decided to follow Cadence around. Well, correction. Twilight decided to follow Cadence around and Xavier was dragged along with Twilight. The more they followed, the more Twilight's distaste for Cadence grew, and the more Xavier looked at her funny again as he started seeing more strange things about her, but he remained quiet.

"I can't believe this!" Twilight exclaimed. "I don't know what caused her to change, but I don't like it."

Xavier rolled his eyes. "Really? Ya don't say."

"I'm serious! She used to be so nice, loving and caring. She used to be the best babysitter I've ever had, but now, she's marrying my brother and she's become somepony I wish I never ever met!" She said. "And my friends don't even seem to notice her jerky behavior!"

"Twilight, you need to relax. Sure, she may seem different than you remember." Xavier tried to explain. "I mean, maybe it's because she's sick, or something happened in her life to cause her to change?"

"I don't even want to know." Twilight grumbled.

"I mean, if I was a beautiful pink alicorn mare and suddenly ended up with a jagged horn, fangs, weird wings and holes in her legs, I'd probably be grouchy too, but then again, I'm a guy. I wouldn't give a fuck."

Now it was Twilight's turn to have a funny look."Jagged horn? Holes in her legs? What are you talking about? Cadence never had any of those. Are you sure you're talking about the same pony?"

"I've never saw a pony like her, but I'm pretty sure there are many more types of ponies I'm unaware about." Xavier shrugged. "I think I'm gonna stop by Donut Joes. See you at the wedding rehearsal."

"Okay, but I'm gonna talk to the girls again. They have to understand that this wedding is a mistake."

And so the two went their seperate ways. Xavier headed to Donut Joes for a sugary snack whereas Twilight went to bug her friends more.

-Xavier's POV-

"Thanks again, Joe." I waved after leaving the store.

"Come back soon. Have fun at the rehearsal." Joe said before the door closed.

I rolled my eyes, mumbling an "I'll try" before I headed to the castle. Before I arrived to the throne room, I noticed the girls minus Twilight were wearing dresses that looked similar to the ones they were in when they went to the Gala with.

"Hey Eggsy! You'll never guess what happened!"

"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza made us her new bridesmares!"

"Gee, Rainbow Sap. Never knew you of all ponies would be excited about these types of things." I said, chuckling.

"W-well, just this once I am, alright?" Rainbow said as her face flushed.

Rarity was clopping her hooves. "Ooh this is just so exciting. I cannot wait for the rehersal!"

Rainbow walked up to me. "You're gonna watch, right big guy?"

"Sure I am." I replied. That was before I realized I tempted fate. "...Right after I use the can." So I zipped through the labyrinth of a palace the princesses have and made it to the nearest laboratory.

After I took care of business and getting lost a few times, I made it back to the throne room just in time to see the pink princess running out in tears. Well, not really in tears. Her face looked as dry as a desert, but she was sobbing. Guess it may have something to do with her medical condition. Then, Shining Armor came running after her.

"Hey, Xander, did you see Cadence run by?" He asked.

I shrugged pointing my thumb to the direction she went behind me. "That chick needs to get laid, badly." He simply snorted and galloped past me. I went to the throne room, but found Twilight's friends and my bro walking past her. They all had the look of disappointment on their faces.

"So are we still doing the thing with the thing?" I said, my brain being too lazy to say what it actually was while making walking gestures with my hands for some odd reason.

"No, and you can thank Twilight for that."

I looked up at my bro. "Why? What happened?"

"You need to talk to her about how she behaves around ponies that look abnormal." He replied.

"You see it too? I kept quiet about it around her. Didn't wanna be rude." I shrugged.

"And I applaud you for doing so." He said before walking off with the girls.

I saw Celestia passing Twilight. "You have a lot to think about." She passed me as well without even saying anything and closed the doors to the throne room.

"Can someone or pony please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"It's all my fault..." Twilight said quietly. "I was too protective of Shining and I might have even ruined the wedding!" She started sobbing. "What am I supposed to do? I thought I was going to gain a sister but I ended up losing a brother instead!"

I was compelled to cheer her up, but she was pretty mean towards Cadence. Sure with reason, but... Well, she was being a bitch. Even I would've had a hard time dealing with it if she was a bitch to my friends and was into my bro. So I said "Fuck it" got down and hugged her. She hugged back when I heard the sounds of hooves clopping up behind me. I turned my head to see a pink holed hoof.

"Oh hey Cadence." I said.

Twilight looked up at her with tears in her eyes. "Cadence, I'm so sorry..."

The answer she received was far from what I expected. "You should be."

Before knew it, Twilight and I were surrounded in flames. I didn't wanna touch the thing, but I noticed Twilight being pulled through the floor. I tried to pull her up, but whatever this magic was it was pulling on her, but not me. Shit... I'm magic resistant, that's right. Twilight tried to hold on to my leg, but it was all for naught as soon, only her hoof was sticking out of the floor, sinking until no trace of her was there. Standing up, I turned to Cadence.

"Bring her back, please."

"I don't know how you're still standing there, creature, but whatever you are, you are in no position to demand anything from me." She replied.

"I'm only going to ask you one more time."

She laughed. "And all I have to do is scream, and Shining will be galloping to my rescue."

"Did Shining ever tell you how we met, and how I kicked his ass? Heh, Twilight wasn't too happy with me." I smiled. "Ya know, I know ya look funny, don't know whether or not it's because you have a disease that causes ya to have holes in your legs and a jagged horn, or you're some type of pony I've yet to meet, but that's no excuse to for being a bitch."

This took her by surprise, her eyes widening when I said that. Her shocked look was then replaced by a devilish grin. "So, you're able to see through my disguise, creature?" She went up in flames as she began to reveal her true form.

"So... You're not Cadence? I mean, you just turned from pink to black. Ya still look funny, just edgier."

She stomped her holed up hoof. "No you fool! I am not Cadence! I am Queen Chrysalis! Queen of the changelings!"

"The fuck's a changeling? Wait... is that why your legs look like Jeff used them for target practice?"

"ENOUGH!!" She hissed. "If you can see through our disguises, then I'll have to see to it that you don't interfere with my plans."

"Don't care. Just give Twilight back and I'll let ya marry her douche brother."

"And then I'll deal with your brother too." Yup. That did it. She was on the ground a split second later from a roundhouse kick that would've made Chuck Norris proud. She got back up and started blasting me with her green changeling magic blasts (I'm no good with coming up with names for these on the spot. Shut up.) only to realize she wasn't doing shit. When I got close to her, I grabbed her by the horn and punched her again.

"Shouldn't have threatened my bro. What're ya gonna do now, bitch?" I asked. She smiled and screamed, but in Cadence's voice. Of course,I turned to see armed guards pouring in the room. What's worse, so did Celestia, Twilight's friends, and my brother. Shining was pissed.

"LET HER GO YOU BASTARD!" He yelled, charging at me. I pulled my gun on him and stopped him in his tracks.

When I looked at the changeling queen I was holding by the horn, she was pink again and sobbing. You're kidding...

"Put. My niece. Down." Celestia commanded.

I had a moment to think. I could tell them that she's not really Cadence, but they wouldn't believe me. If changelings were like spies from Team Fortress 2, I could shoot her and watch her corpse change, but then there goes the risk of her not changing back and thus making it look like I just murdered the ruler's niece. Then, there goes my life. I went with option one.

"What if she isn't who you think she is?"

"I SAID LET HER GO!" Celestia said, using her RCV. I shrugged, letting go of Not-Cadence as she went back to her whipped Shining. "Guards! Take him to the dungeon."

I turned the safety off of my S&W and tossed it to bro. I won't be needing it where I'm going.

I was sitting in the castle's dungeon, being stared down at by not only Celestia, but Rainbow and her friends too. Rainbow shook her head at me before leaving with her friends, mumbling "I can't believe you."

"What should we do with him, Traevon? He threatened and assaulted a princess."

Bro shook his head. "Frankly, I think he was under your student's influence when he did."

"Wanna know where she is?" I asked.

"Where is she, Xavier?" Celestia and Trae asked.

"I don't know. The 'bride' does though." I said.

"This isn't any time for games! You're in a lot of trouble here! You attacked Celestia's niece! That'll look bad for everyone! Me, Brianna, Jack, Jeff, every one of us! So cut the shit and talk!" Traevon yelled. It wasn't too often anyone would hear Trae raise his voice. It was a rarity. Fuckin Rarity...

Unfortunately for the two of them, I only gave them the one fingered salute before I walked to the corner of my cell and sat there. I wasn't really mad. More along the lines of disappointed, sad, and worried. Disappointed at my bro, sad that Rainbow and Fluttershy might hate me, and worried about Twilight. There is a silver lining in all of this however. One that made me started thinking positive thoughts to help me through this turmoil.

Shining still doesn't know that I'm railing his sister.

Author's Note

Part one of the Season Two Finale everyone!

For reference, Xavier was looking at "Cadence" funny because to him, she didn't look like an average pony. This is what she looked like to him and Traevon:

And to be fair, Xavier didn't really know what a changeling was or looked like, so he thought Cadence was some strange type of pony, for those that didn't get it.

S2 Finale Chapter 14: Canterlot Gunning pt 2

S2 Finale Chapter 14: The Canterlot Gunning pt 2

-Xavier's POV-

"So you refuse to tell us why you have harmed my niece?" Celestia asked. I just smiled. As it turned, the princess, her student's friends, and the groom had came to visit me in my cell the morning of the wedding to question my actions. "I hope it wasn't my student who gave you the idea to attack her. I'm afraid Twilight may have gone too far. You are a dear friend to me and I do not wish to keep you here."

I shook my head, but shrugged, still smiling.

"This isn't a joke! Again, you can be in serious trouble! You could've gotten us in serious trouble."

Shining huffed. "We're wasting our time with this flankhole."

"Shining is right, darling. If we wait for him to answer, we'll miss the wedding."

"Shut up, Rarity." Rainbow said, causing me to snicker.

As they were about to leave, I couldn't help but to say one last thing. "Hey Shining, wait."

"Are you finally going to talk?" He said as the others looked at me.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry for trying to stop you and your bride. That mare that's waiting for you, I hope you and her live long and have many, many, many children." There is one other thing to know about me. Not only do I have an inner troll, but I have a natural troll face. That was the face I was wearing after I said that.

"Xavier. Rainbow and I are going to have a long talk with you and Twilight after the wedding." Fluttershy said sternly.

I chuckled, nodding my head. "We sure will, Fluttershy, we sure will." I said. "Til then."

When they left, I had leaned back against the wall, still wearing the same smirk. And now I play the waiting game.

-Traevon's POV-

I had an idea that today wouldn't be any good. My little brother's in jail and God only knows what the princesses and every pony involve thinks of us now. Who knows? My brother's reckless behavior may have cost us our lives here. I needed some time to myself. And by time to myself, I mean time with people who'll get me through the day. I walked up to a house that Octavia stayed in whenever she was here in Canterlot and knocked on the door for it to be answered by Vinyl Scratch. She gave me a sorrowful smile.

"Yo I heard what happened, man. It's a real bummer about your bro." She said as I walked in.

I sighed. "I don't know what got into him."

"Absolute madness is what got into him, dear." I'd know that gentle British accented voice from anywhere. Octavia was in the other room. "Who in their right mind would try to hold a princess hostage, let alone Celestia's niece?"

"I just hope no one believes that all humans are that dangerous."

"Psh! Neither one of ya really got the guts to do somethin' messed up like threaten a princess. Not unless ya got a reason." Vinyl said.

"What's that supposed to mean, Vinny?" I asked.

"Ey. I told ya not to call me that. What am I, in one of your Italian Mafia movies?" She swatted her hoof at me. "Based off of what ya told me, it doesn't sound like your lil bro would do somethin that bucked unless somethin was off."

"Psh. Twilight was off. Probably got Xavier into scheming."

"Twilight was in on this travesty too?" Octavia asked, peeking her head in.

"Yeah. She's been acting weird around Princess Cadenza."

This time, it was Octavia's turn to look concerned. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Where is Twilight anyway?" Vinyl asked.

"I don't know." I said.

Our conversation was interrupted by panicking coming from outside. The three of us quickly ran out to see what was going on. The royal guards were mobilizing and civilian ponies were all trying to run to safety, wherever that was. I saw Vinyl looking up as she slowly removed her shades, something she rarely ever does in public.

When Octavia and I looked up, we saw a swarm of creatures that were cracking the bubble shield. They looked like black pegasi with horns, but with bug-like wings. Thousands of them! They had holes in their feet just like-

"Motherfucker..." "Motherbucker..."

I reached for a walkie talkie with one hand and grabbed Xavier's gun with the other. Everything made sense. To be sure of our survival, I would need backup.

Let's give Jeff a call.

I turned on the walkie talkie. "Jeff. Can you hear me?"

-Jack's POV-

"Hun, can you make sure Button Mash has his lunch packed for school?"

"Yea, babe, I'll make sure Mash's grass and weeds are in order." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Thank you."

I sighed. Yesterday was uneventful besides work. With AJ and Xavier gone, I only had Jeff to hang out with. That was a no go, since all he seems to be able to talk about is how wrong 'horse fucking' is. That guy just doesn't get it. We're all hoping he'll come around soon, but would understand if he doesn't. He's not even an elderly and he's still stuck in his ways. So I decided to spend some time with my other lady and her kid.

After I was done literally putting grass and weeds in Button Mash's lunch bag which I may or may not have just grabbed from around Joy's garden. They didn't have any apples or flowers left, so I just took my next guess at what ponies ate. He better not complain. Do you know how many starving children in Africa that would be more than happy to eat those weeds? After I sent the little squirt with his bag of lawn clippings, I thought I would be able to chill with Joy for the day.

"Jack, would you be a dear and pick up some groceries from the market today?"

Well I thought wrong. "Sure babe." I sighed, getting up walking to the door. I saw a list full of groceries taped to the side.

"I have a list of the veggies I need by the door."

"I know, I have it." I grabbed the list before heading outside. Jeff was right there with a dark creepy-ass grin wearing his green tanktop and a rag on his head with war paint all over with his truck running in front of the house. "Are we going on a hunting trip?" I asked.

"Even better. We're headed into a war zone!"

Jeff had filled me in on what was going on as I got myself ready. He even shared his war paint with me as he loaded the weapons. It turns out that Canterlot was under attack by black bug ponies that can change color. We were told to look out for ponies with legs like Swiss cheese. I suppose I'll understand when I see them. I put on my cargo pants and a black hoodie. In contrast to Jeff's camoflauge warpaint design on his face, I had decided to go with another design to strike fear into our foes. Something else I found scary at home; a juggalo.

"You are a fuckin clown aren't ya?" Jeff laughed.

"Mothafuckin miracles yo."

I noticed he had a box that he put in the back of his truck. I wanted to ask what it was, but something told me that I wouldn't get a direct answer. Jeff will probably say something like "A surprise." and then when we've doomed ourselves, he's going to play badass and break open that box of whatever it is like he's in an action movie and use it to save all of us.

You know, fuck it. I'm going to ask anyway.

"Hey Jeff, what's with the box in the back?"

"It's a surprise." Jeff said, grinning.

Dammit I knew it! I just set it in motion!

On the way there, I was armed with a knife and an uzi. Why the uzi? Because no one has used it yet. I was sitting staring out of the window, thoughts crossing my mind such as 'what will happen when we run out of ammo for all of Jeff's guns?' I know the day that happens will be a very sad day for him. I was then reminded of how this dude was protective of his guns when Xavier hid them in the attic for a few months after their little scrap on the way to Appleloosa. He literally grounded Jeff and his bro agreed with it. I gotta say though, I'm glad he was stopped back then. Killing that chieftan's daughter would've caused a whole clusterfuck.

I also had time to reflect on everything that's happened since our arrival. We're going on our third year here and so much has happened. It also got me thinking. How are mom and dad doing back home? It's a stupid question. They lost all of their children in one night. They've either sued the Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, or had claimed Jeff as a kidnapper and started a manhunt for him since only Traevon knew him and not our parents. They knew of him. Xavier's parents knew me, my siblings, and my parents as my parents knew him, his siblings and his parents, but Jeff? He was always just a stranger to them. So most likely, if we were to somehow find a way back, I'm sure there would be 'Wanted' posters of Jeff everywhere. Sorry bro. Again, I decided to keep my mouth shut about it.

I also wondered how my parents would respond to having pony girlfriends. Dad would probably send both Applejack and Joy Stick to a stable with Button Mash while he dialed a mental institution for me. Dad could be a dick sometimes. Mom? She'd probably faint or cry that her oldest son's a bestiality freak, never mind that they're able to hold a conversation. I guess minds close for anyone over forty. I still miss them though. For the sake of Hiroto and Jonathan, it's best not to talk about it.

The music snapped me out of my thoughts. I cocked an eye at Jeff.

"Ya look a lil worried. Fraid ya might get fragged by whatever got these pansy ponies so spooked up there?"

I shook my head. "Nah. Thinkin about home."

"You could've stayed back you know, had ya said something earlier." He said, frustrated.

"No. I mean home home. Parents. Humanity. United States of America."

"Oh. Yeah, I miss it all too. If I could go back to cable TV, shooting range, NFL and my PS4 at home, I would leave this place in a heartbeat." Funny.. I was literally just thinking.. Jeff continued. "And most of all, being back where girls aren't horses and have tits! Real tits! Not crotch boobs, not four legs, but two legs and boobs."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed "Here we go."

"I'll never get you and Xavier, and now you got Traevon doing it too! I'll never understand it!"

"Because you'll never see them as anything more than the stupid ponies back on Earth. Sure they have their own civilization, they can talk, express emotions like we do and are well capable of holding a conversation with us, but no. They look 'too' much like animals to you, don't they?"

"THEY EAT HAY AND FLOWERS!!!!"

"And the naked African girl you were staring at in your magazine ate fried and chocolate-dipped ants on a stick. You'd still tap it." I said. "Besides, who back at home is going to know? We're most likely never going back."

"Yeah..." He said, mournfully.

"If you want to be lonely or miserable for the rest of your life, because I'm pretty sure Brianna won't be interested in a guy who's middle aged when she reaches the age of 18, that's fine. But don't judge us for settling down with the locals. We're all happy with ponies."

It was quiet for a moment as I gave him time to think. It was just the two of us headed into a possible battlezone. This music is really fitting,
but the atmosphere could use a bit of lightening up.I smirked at him.

"I think they have minotaurs you can settle with. Two legs, probably boobs."

He scoffed in disgust. "No thanks. I prefer to be the muscle in the relationship."

"Well, what if the females aren't as big and burly as Iron Will? Don't think we've ever seen a minotaur cow." I asked, looking forward.

He chuckled. "That would be a big damn 'maybe'."

The rest of the ride was pretty calm. We strode and listened to whatever Jeff had on. The shield had just shattered as we drove up the mountain.

"Hey Jeff, wanna know what'll be badass?" I asked.

"What?" He asked.

-3rd Person-

Canterlot was under a full scale invasion. One that belonged to the creatures known as changelings. Ponies were being chased. The royal guards were giving it their all, fending the changelings off until the civilians, nobles, and everypony else were safely sheltered. Ever since their humiliation at the claws of the four aliens, they had stepped up their training. However, as hard as they trained, the changelings were heavily outnumbering the guards. One by one were squads and groups overrun by the immense number of changelings that were coming their way.

One blue-maned unicorn guardsmare, Silvia Blades, was a lieutenant who had joined the royal guards shortly after the gala two years ago. The secretly peach-coated mare had proven herself a fine and competent with her tasks and earned every medal and promotion she's received. None of her training had prepared her for this. She was doing whatever he could to keep her squad together.

"Silvia! I'm not sure how much we can hold them off! We need back up!" One of the guards shouted as he cut open a changeling that lunged at him.

"I can't! I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I have my hooves full!" Silvia did indeed have her hooves full, holding up a shielding spell to block changelings from their flanks. Since the shield broke, she's been summoning arcane blasts, ice spells, shock spells, and shielding. Her exhaustion had started to show greatly as she sweated more and more under her armor as she could hear her last squad mate being dragged away. Seeing as she had already failed her squad, her shield formed around her into a bubble.

Then she started hearing something crackling and other noises in the distance. One of the noises sounded like maniacal laughter while the other one sounded like music.

She saw a few changelings flying one direction, but instantly had their heads exploded as their lifeless bodies fell from the sky while having their blood coat the roads. Around the corner, came a carriage unlike anything she's ever seen, having two of the aliens she was trained to take down. One was on the back, firing an oddly effective crossbow. A thought to attack them had crossed her mind, but she noticed that one, she would most likely end up joining the changelings that lie in the streets and, two, their attention seemed aimed at the changelings instead of the ponies. The way the carriage turned and stayed in one piece fascinated her to the point where she almost lost track of her shield, the alien on there surprisingly staying on. She instantly regained her focus when a changeling had slammed against her shield.

The carriage then turned to her and accelerated. She thought she was going to be run over, but she couldn't have been more wrong. She closed her eyes as she could hear 'thumps' against the metal and the weightlessness of her shield as it dissipated. She then felt a claw grab her and pull her onto the carriage.

"Get in here, ya pansy!" Said the alien. It was a lot to take in for the mare to the point where she was speechless. Here she was, with the aliens she was trained to fight, fighting on her side. And the music was even more disturbing. It sounded like it was made for those who enjoyed war. Is this a game for enjoyment to them?! she thought.

As she watched, she watched, she seemed to pick up on something. The changelings that changed into other ponies were being shot at. At first, she had thought that one of them wasn't having enough fun and started opening fire on the ponies, but when she saw them bleed blue and change back into changelings, she realized that the beings she was riding with could see through their disguises. The carriage took a wide swing and stopped in front of another alien running at them, firing a smaller weapon back at changelings that were chasing it while two ponies were hanging from his back and being carried in his free fore leg.

Are these guys on our side?

When he reached them, he sat one of the mares down next to a box the alien had in the back with him. The other mare he put inside of the carriage with the alien controlling it before he jumped in the back with them..

"Who is she?" The newcomer asked.

The larger one firing replied, "Some broad in armor I just rescued."

"Excuse me! This 'broad in armor' has a name! It's Silvia Blades! Lieutenant Silvia Blades to you, mister!" she said.

"You want me to throw your ass off my truck?"

"Jeff!" The newcomer yelled. He turned to the guardsmare. "Forgive my friend here. He's a hard ass."

"Trae, where's Xavier?" asked the alien driving.

"He's in the dungeon for attacking an imposter Princess." said the alien dubbed Traevon. Then he let out a long exasperated sigh. "He's probably sitting there thinking of an 'I told you so' speech.."

"Alright, why is Xavier still in the dungeon then?" the driver asked.

"Well, the Princess had planned on having him transferred to the Royal Canterlot Prison after the wedding, but then all of this shit happened."

Silvia kept quiet. She didn't want to tell them that she was a part of the team that escorted aforementioned human to his cell.

Traevon's POV -

We soon arrived to the castle where we saw our six fighting each other. I mean they were fighting a lot of each other because I counted seven changelings with Twilight's color. They all stopped and went wide eyed when we approached, weapons aimed. We fired and took out all of the ones with holes in their legs, along with the ones with horns or wings that shouldn't have them.

All but one. Jeff was holding two Applejacks. One was real, one was fake.

"Hey Jack. Which one is real?" He said, chuckling. Oh dear lord, they're really doing this...

"Ah'm the real one" Both Applejack's said at the same time. "No, ya yellow-bellied fibber, Ah am!" They said to each other.

Jack smiled as he aimed his weapon at both of them before he told Jeff to put down one of the Applejacks. He went up to the one Jeff was holding, stared at her a bit with his weapon aimed inbetween her eyes. A lot of emotion went through that one's eyes. Betrayal, fear, and sad for the doom she was about to face.

That was until Jack kissed her and shot the other one. Silvia's eyes widened as the dead Applejack changed into a changeling.

"What the buck going on?" The guardsmare asked.

"Applejack's been pranked... again." I answered.

"Consarn it Jack! Yer lucky Ah'm so glad ta see ya.." She said, unable to stop smiling. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were laughing

"Had ya goin didn't I?"

"Man did you ever!" Rainbow said, pulling herself together. "So when are we gonna bust Monkeyboy out of the dungeon?"

Twilight shook her head. "We'll have plenty of time to get Xavier after we get the elements of-"

"INCOMING!!!" Pinkie shrieked, pointing towards an incoming swarm of changelings. They were swarming over the horizon.

Jeff looked at Silvia. "If you wanna live, grab my box and move!" Silvia nodded, not having the time to question and floated the heavy box with her as everyone had ran into the castle. They knew where the elements were, however they hadn't the chance to get it. When they reached the throne room, it was full of changelings. Celestia was cocooned, hanging from the ceiling and Shining Armor looked completely out of it, I got to see the real Cadence for the first time, and Not-Cadance had turned from pink to black. There were more coming from behind. The six went ahead to confront Black Cadence while Jeff had an idea to buy them more time.

"Hey you." Jeff said to Silvia. "The box."

"What's in it?" she asked

"Just give me the damn box." He demanded. She hesitated but set it down infront of him. He smashed the top of the box open and pulled out what looked like a homemade flamethrower. "Time to burn bitches!" He aimed it at the approaching changelings behind him.

"SURPRISE COCKFAGS!" Jeff roared. The flames had started engulfing the changelings outside of the throne room on his way out. We could hear his maniacal laughter and the changelings' screams even after the door closed. That guy is having too much fun with this... Silvia stared at the door, horrified.

"That could've been me at the other end of that thing..." She quietly mumbled.

"I so fucking called it..." Jack said, facepalming.

"Your invasion failed, Chrysalis!" Twilight said.

"You've ruined everything! This day was supposed to be perfect!" Black Cadence shouted. "CHANGELINGS! WE MUST RETREAT!"

The changelings started flying out of the windows. Before she left, the changeling queen glared at the humans. "You will all pay dearly for this!" She hissed, before flying to the window. Jack and I aimed our guns at her, but our weapons only responded with 'clicks'.

"Jack, got any spare ammo?"

"Fresh out." Jack said, taking out his empty magazine.

"...well, it looks like we should be glad changelings don't know how guns work."

Jack nodded in agreement. Soon, a burst of pink energy erupted from the room. It had cleared out the remaining changelings who have yet to retreat and smacking Chrysalis's ass, literally on the way out of the city. Fluttershy and Rarity had helped Princess Celestia out of her cocoon.

Rainbow landed between me and Celestia. "Great. The Chrysalis problem's over with now and the invasion is over. Can we please get Xavier now?" She said, standing on her hindlegs while tapping her foot impatiently.

Celestia wore the same uncomfortable expression as Shining Armor, Traevon, Rarity, and Applejack when they heard Rainbow.

"Do we have to?" Shining said, before receiving a violent nudge from Cadence. "Sorry, it's just.. That guy is so unbearable."

"Be that as it may, it wouldn't be right to keep him there. He was merely trying to stop Chrysalis and we arrested him for it."

"So he knew?" Shining asked, his eyes narrowing into space.

"These guys can see through changeling disguises somehow. Who knew?" Lt. Silvia said.

"So this morning when he said..."

"Yup..." I answered, cutting Shining off.

"Ugh, Princess, please! Please!"

"No!" "No." "Shining..."

"Fine..."

-3rd person-

Traevon knew most of what was waiting in the dungeons for him. The same couldn't be said for everyone else. Celestia, having been experienced with large amounts of smugness (usually from her sister), had sense collected herself to embrace the amount of smug she could estimate from her innocent capturee. Fluttershy, having to deal with a bossy bunny on a daily basis, wasn't too bothered. The same couldn't be said for Shining, Applejack, and Rarity.

When they arrived, they could hear talking and snickering. Arriving at the cell, they not only had to deal with the smug smile of Xavier, but that of Princess Luna as well, which caused Celestia to groan.

"So. How was the wedding?" Xavier asked with a shit-eating grin. Shining started breathing heavily through his teeth, seething. "Wow. Twilight does the same thing. Must run in the family."

Twilight rolled his eyes as Shining pouted to his sister. "See!" He looked at Celestia again. "He's so... so.. insufferable!!!"

"Oh come now, Shining. I'm not gonna judge you for being an entomophiliac." Xavier said, still grinning.

"SNRRK!!" The princesses, Twilight and Fluttershy held their hooves over their mouths as they tried not to laugh.

"What? What does that mean?" said the now anxious Shining Armor.

"Cadence, I think that'll give you a few ideas on foreplay later on in your marriage." He joked. "Oh Shining. The fact that you're so out of the loop makes it even more hilarious."

Twilight whispered in his ear. His pupils shrank three times that moment. "THAT'S IT! I'M DONE!" The five named mares broke into fits of laughter and giggling as he stormed out of the dungeon.

"I don't get it."

"It's an inside joke, Pinks." Rainbow said.

"Now if you could please let me out, Celestia, that would be very kind of you." Xavier asked.

Celestia's horn glowed a golden aura as the cell door opened "Yes, and I do believe an apology is in order."

"Don't sweat it. Pushing Shining's buttons put me in a forgiving mood." Not to mention the next stunt I'll pull.

-Xavier's POV-

While everyone and pony else went out to help reschedule and re plan the wedding that's been pushed back another day, I spent the rest of the day with Princess Luna who practically begged me to stay with her. And why wouldn't I? It's nice to see her in the waking world too. We mostly hung out in her room. Other than a random Sonic Rainboom that happened for some reason, outside seemed pretty uneventful.

"You're letting my sister off too easy, Xavier." Luna said.

"No I'm not. Have ya seen the gory mess I left out there?" I asked, leaning back against Luna.

"The weapons your kind uses are pretty lethal. We're glad you're all on our side."

I sighed. "Don't know how much use they'll be for long. Just like arrows are needed to use a bow, those things need ammo. And we used a lot today." I said, looking out the window. "Not like we can just go back to Earth and buy more. That's kind've our primary source of defense and protection."

"I see, but worry not. My sister and I will do our best to make sure you are protected along with our subjects." She smirked, nuzzling me. "You forget how powerful sister and I are."

"And if you somehow lost your magic for some unforeseen reason?"

Luna laughed. "'T'will never happen."

"And how long have you two been close friends, Monkey Boy?" said a voice from the window.

"Oh hey Rainbow. We've been pretty close for a while now."

"Really? But you two hardly hang out!"

"Because we usually hang out after I go to sleep." I said.

"Tis been a while since I've had so much fun in anypony else's dream before him." Luna said.

"So you've been hanging out and having fun in Xavier's dream?" She asked.

"Just about." I answered. "You're not upset are you?

Rainbow crossed her forelegs. "Hay yeah I am! Without me?!"

Luna giggled. "You're more than welcome to join the four of us."

"Wait. Four?! Who are the other two?"

"My two sisters."

"You have another-" Rainbow shook her head. "We'll talk about this later. Twilight and the princess sent me to bring you two down for the wedding reception."

Luna and I looked at each other, then back at Rainbow. I had to ask. "What happened with the wedding?"

"Everypony decided it best if you missed the wedding and just came to the reception."

"How come?"

"Shining hates you right now." She deadpanned. "It took a lot of begging, an apology favor from Twilight, and the princess's wishes for him to invite you to the reception."

-3rd Person-

After Twilight had finished her song, it was about time for Cadance to throw the bouquet, in which she had almost forgot to do had Traevon not reminded her. If you don't know, in most human weddings, the bride throws a bouquet to single ladies to 'ensure' a bright and love-filled future (if you believe that stuff). In Equestria, things are a bit different. The bride throws a bouquet to taken mares to ensure the ones they are with will stay together forever. When she tossed it, Twilight Sparkle felt it was time to get back at Shining, and like an NFL player, she had jumped in front of Rarity and caught it. Shining couldn't ignore this and went to his little sister.

"Well, looks like I wasn't the only one who forgot to tell their sibling about somepony special, eh Twily?" Shining said with a teasing smile, causing Twilight to 'blush'.

"Y-yeah.. I've found somepony special." She looked over to the Princesses of the Sun and Moon, who were smiling at her (the former, biting her bottom lip).

"Well, when are you going to introduce this special stallion to your BBBFF?" He asked with eagerness and pride in his eyes.

"He's... actually here at the wedding." She shifted nervously, not sure if she wanted to go through with it.

"Tia, is there something wrong?"

"Wait for it..."

"Great! Can you get him for me? We have time before we leave for our honeymoon." The look on his wife's face said otherwise.

Twilight nodded her head and walked over to where their parents were. Shining's eyes stayed on her, tracing her movement. However, his smile was turning more and more harsh when he saw who else was standing by their mom and dad in conversation.

"Nooooo..." Shining growled.

It was him. The newest most freshest thorn in his side. And Twilight was headed right to him.

"No no nooo..."

Shining was gritting his teeth when he saw her sister stand on her hind legs and kiss Shining's new nemesis right on the lips, and his parents just standing there watching with smiles! He didn't even notice himself glowing in a golden aura and floating inside of a chariot, in which his wife was very patiently waiting for him. By now, he was practically spazzing out next to her.

"NONONONONONONONONONO-COLT OF A BUCKING HORS-"

Author's Note

Shining Armor everybody!

I hope you all have enjoyed my chapters. I'm probably going to take a break from writing fictions for a little bit. At least until I finish the plotline for S3, which I've already started working on. :rainbowwild: It shouldn't take as long seeing as it's the shortest season in existence, but the goal is for me to start posting at a faster rate than I am while still giving you all good material to read. It requires a lot of thought and seeing as I'm working on the fiction by myself, it takes time.

With that said, I'll work on it whenever I can while reading other fictions and coming up with other ideas. Anywhoozle, it's 1:30 in the morning and I am completely dumped. I'll keep you guys n gals updated. :twilightsheepish:

S3 Chapter 1: Crystal Clear

Season 3

S3 Chapter 1: Crystal Clear

-Xavier's Recap-

I haven't seen or heard from Shining Armor since his wedding reception as he was driven off, screaming, cursing me, swearing, and throwing around threats practically spazzing out completely. Celestia just couldn't hold in her laughter and Twilight briefly felt satisfied at getting revenge on her bro for not telling her about the wedding and for turning his back on her. Needless to say, it was the best night this year so far. My inner troll had never been so stuffed. Twilight just hoped that it didn't ruin their honeymoon.

Luna had started bringing Rainbow Dash into my dream world by basically pulling her out of her dream and escorting her to mine. She was a bit nervous at first, and even more so when she met Starla Moon, formerly known as Nightmare Moon. She still enjoyed the scenarios I created. I even had the opportunity to show her around my old neighborhood. Heh... neighborhood... She surprisingly got used to being anthro when she finally agreed. Unlike the two Moon sisters, Dash decided not to be so showy with her choice of clothes. She wore a sports bra under her sleeveless jacket that hid her ample breasts (I guess she remembered what I liked from when we played Dead or Alive earlier) with yoga pants that hugged her hips, butt, and legs. She was still hot even without dressing up like a hooker. I mean, you're a Princess for crying out loud, Luna!

As it turns out, this was something she had planned as soon as she realized she could change her form in the dream world. She changed her form into a humanoid hottie for me and wanted me to feel attracted to her again. That kinda made me feel horrible considering much of my time has been spent more and more with Twilight instead of maintaining a balance between my girls like I used to. Although it wasn't her intent on guilt tripping me (judging by her rapid apologies and reassurances of me 'still being totally cool guy'), I felt I still needed to make it up to her somehow. Luckily Luna had temporarily taken Starla off of my hands to do just that for about a week. A week of Rainbow Dash literally in my mind during the night.

Needless to say, we've grown closer again. We've done a lot of things. Taught her how to snowboard (she enjoyed that more than Luna did), how to parkour, basically, just about everything Jack and I do while she was a biped. And hey, remember how I said Rainbow Dash was hot? Simply put, her mind had lost her virginity the final night. We both agreed that had to be done at least once. Dash made me promise to not tell Twilight about being able to enter my dreams for a while. It was nice to spend time with the first female to give me a chance. Fuck you Samantha!

Hiroto has also been getting out more. Sure his reasons are for things such as science, and some of his inventions have unnerved some not so tech savvy ponies that may or may not have thought he was building machines to invade the town, but it was good to see him out. Evil Genius Hiroto! The only thing that's bothering me is that he seems to be working on something that he'd let the guys see it but won't let me see what it is he's working on. Too bad I have three things going on in my life to make me not care.

-End of Recap-

Here we are on our way to Canterlot. Twilight Sparkle once again has business with the Princess and Rainbow had Fluttershy had urged me to go on ahead with her for moral support, even though Spike was coming along. Apparently there was an urgent test that needed to be taken and Twilight was freaking the fuck out.

"Twilight, you gotta relax." I said to the pacing mare.

"I can't relax, Xavier! There's always a chance that I could fail! What if I do and she decides I'm not worth keeping as a student anymore?" She said. Spike was silent, being completely focused on his 3DS.

"Then she'd be a pretty shit mentor, but do you really think a nice princess will ever do something like that to someone she really cares about and have done so much for?" I asked, looking at her with an eyebrow raised. "Sounds like a waste to me."

"I-I.." She stuttered. "I guess not."

I patted the seat beside me. She nodded and sat. I scratched behind her ears and she leaned her head against me in return.

"So what kind of test is it?" I asked, getting Twilight's attention once more. "Algebra, Trigonometry? Maybe it's on something I can help ya out on."

Twilight shook her head. "No, I don't think it's on any of those."

The rest of the train ride was silent.

When we arrived at the train station in Canterlot, Twilight had hopped on my back, wrapping her forelegs around my neck. This is odd. Spike seemed to notice this.

"Gross! You two should get a room."

"Twilight, if you wanted to be carried, you could've just asked to be carried like a 'little princess.'"

Blushing, Twilight shook her head. "No, it's to make sure you don't wander off when my back is turned like you always do."

"Suuuuure." I chuckled quietly. Her reaction never gets old.

We made our way to the castle, the guards not bothering me while the Princess's Pet was on my back. And I'm not referring to Philomena. We traveled through the maze of hallways that still hasn't had any signs installed like I had suggested the royal sisters. Thankfully I had Twilight for guidance to the throne room. Guards stepping aside, I kicked the throne room door open.

"WHAZ GOOD, BITCHES?!" Twilight's mouth dropped at how her mentor and princess was addressed and probably glad that Spike stayed outside.

"Xavier! Did y-you just call Princess Celestia a... a..."

"Whazzup home slice?" Luna said, further disturbing the unicorn mare on my back.

Celestia, being the troll she is, pinned the nail on the coffin by saying, "Iz real good, 'G'."

"DEUUEAUGH!!!!" That did it. Twilight had fell off of my back in a total cringe position. I gave a fist bump to both of the giggling princesses.

"Twas too much for poor Twilight." Luna giggled.

Celestia cleared her throat. "Jokes aside, I have called my student here because we have an important matter to discuss."

"A test, right?" I said, waking Twilight back up with the 't'-word.

"Yes, however it is something I must show Twilight Sparkle alone." she said.

"Okay, cool." I said, still standing there.

...

"..."

Okay, yeah I admit that sometimes I wasn't the best at taking hints, even after Celestia's silence and Twilight's hoof tapping. After a long and awkward silence...

"Well?"

"Xavier, I think you should wait for me outside with Spike."

"Ooooh... Just you two. Got it."

Ryu was dodging the Green Charizard's heavy attacks while he was jumping from platform to platform, shooting red flaming hadoukens at him to wear out his health. Charizard constantly had his flame charge attacks halted by them before he was shoryuken'd by Ryu. As they landed, Charizard quickly rolled away from him and used Flamethrower, keeping him at a distance. Or so he thought. Ryu had jumped over on the other side of Charizard with his tornado kick move. Charizard had prepared for him doing this and charged up his smash attack. Unfortunately for Charizard, Ryu had already begun his focus punch. It was at this moment, Charizard knew he fucked up. Ryu had released his fully charge focus punch right into Charizard's gut, stunning him. He then gave the dragon a heavy kick, knocking him off the edge. Charizard was trying to fly back to the edge, but Ryu was having none of it. Ryu had lept off the edge towards Charizard and down-A'd him, sending him rapidly hurling downwards, thus ending the

Xavier's smile grew as he looked at a now annoyed Spike.

"Hey Spike."

"Please don't say it."

"Looks like you..."

"Don't!"

"...just got Spike'd"

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Spike pinched between his eyes, letting out a painful sigh. "Come on, Xavier.."

"Hey. You know I'm da champ." I said, chest puffed out. Yup. The champion is me!

"No, your brother is." Killjoy...

Spike and I have been sitting outside for what seemed like hours waiting for Twilight. I had been training him in the arts of Smash, and he's been getting better. However, it'd be a long journey before the student surpasses the master.

The doors opened and a discouraged purple unicorn stepped out, which caught even Spike off guard. Having hardly ever seen Twilight this way, I looked to Spike. However, he was looking at me the same way I was looking at him. Neither one of us wanted to approach her. So we turned to each other, held out one hand and decided the men's way.

"Rock, paper, Scissors!"
"Jan Ken Pon!"

Peeved at my poor decision to pick paper, I narrowed my eyes at Spike. "You spend too much time with my sister and her friends." In response, he shoved me towards her impatiently. Here goes nothing I suppose. Putting on a smile, I patted her head.

"So how'd the test go?"

"The test has to do with the Crystal Empire north past the mountains." Twilight said without even looking at me.

"Oh. Snowy. I love it already. So what's the problem?" I said, patting her back.

"You don't get it! There are no records on the Crystal Empire. The princess said so herself!" She looked at me with worry. "The Crystal Empire went missing thousands of years ago, and it just suddenly reappears again?!"

"Ah. Magic stuff."

"The princesses want me to take the girls to help, but the task itself is something I must complete alone."

"I guess I can tag along." I said.

"No." Twilight said.

"Aw what?!"

"I have enough to worry about and I don't want any distractions this time." She gave me a look. "And I know how you are."

"Aw come on! It's snowy up there! Please?!" I begged. I really wanted to go. "I'll be on my best behavior!"

"No and that's final!" Twi shouted, stomping her hoof.

"Well, I didn't wanna do this, but I have to now.." I smirked at her. "I guess I'll have to use another-"

"...favor."

Twilight had just finished explaining to the girls how I managed to end up coming anyway despite her wishes.

"Well, we love cold weather. What can I say?" Jack said.

Twilight glared at him. "Yes, which brings me to ask why you're also here."

"Ah told him he could if he wanted ta." AJ said casually.

"But Applejack, why?"

"Why not?" The country mare shrugged.

"Because this isn't a vacation! We aren't here to have fun, Applejack."

Jack and I hid a couple of sleds under the seats.

"Well, darling, I'm sure it won't be too much of a problem to have them around." Rarity chimed in. You tell her, Rarity. She was nice enough to make me and Jack snow jackets.

"Besides, the more the merrier! This is gonna be fun!" Pinkie said, bouncing around the train.

Twilight sighed and looked at me. "You better be on your best behavior. Do as I say to the letter. Got it?"

"You really gotta lighten up, Twi." Rainbow said. "He's not gonna get in the way of anything. Besides, having these guys around always makes things more interesting."

Before Twilight could retort, the train stopped. Looking out the window, we were all looking at a blizzard. Not caring what Twilight said, Jack and I walked off of the train with our sleds.

You'll never guess who we met at our stop.

"Twilight!" An oh so familiar voice called out. He was wearing some winter blizzard gear.

"Shining Armor?"

"Twily, you made it!" He said, removing his head gear. His look shortly turned from happy to worried. "We better get moving. There are things we really don't want to run into after dark."

Grinning, I couldn't help it. "Like me, Sir Shining Armor?"

He seemed to finally took notice of me and groaned loudly as if months of pent up and repressed frustration erupted, making him temporarily forget about what he was worried about. "Why Twily?! Why must you bring him everywhere with- ugh.. Now's not the time. We need to get moving."

"We've got sleds!" Jack said.

Twilight snapped. "Jack, I said this wasn't a vacation!"

"Good thinking Jack. Using those, we'll be bound to get there faster." Did Shining just compliment a human? I thought he hated us! But then again, Jack didn't kick him in the face and isn't mackin on his sister.

"Alright," Jack started. "Who's riding on who's sled?" Twilight, Rainbow and Fluttershy clung to me. Shining rolled his eyes as I chuckled.

"I guess that answers that?"

A while later, it wasn't that long of a stretch when I heard a noise.

"We have to get to the Crystal Empire, now!!"

Almost instantly, Shining grabbed the ropes of both sleds with magic and pulled them from both of our grips, pulling them ahead while running along with them. Jack and I started running, trying to catch up. This was when I noticed that I my long break from parkouring was getting to me a little as I noticed I was getting out of breath. I could hear Twilight telling Shining Armor to stop whereas the other girls were calling for me and Jack. we both looked back at what we were running from, and what we saw made us pick up the pace. Large green and red eyes were floating in a wave of darkness.

All aboard the 'nope' train everyone!

Good news, we could see the shield where the Crystal Empire resides within. Bad news, we two-legged humans were too slow. I could hear whatever thing was chasing us catching up to us. Before I knew it, I was shoved from the side. Looking back, from where I stood, Jack was being launched by a pointy looking shard of black crystal that had erupted from the ground.

"JACK!!" I called out.

He was thrown through the shield from the impact. Seeing as I was right there beside the shield, I didn't bother getting up and I rolled right through it. Whatever it was that was chasing us couldn't get by the shield. Another thing I noticed was instead of lying down in snow, I was lying down in grass instead. Whereas it felt like we were in a nice blizzard a few seconds ago, it felt as if we were in the middle of Spring.

"Hold on ya hear! Yer gonna be fine, now!"

"I'm fine, AJ."

"Applejack please, you're standing too close!"

"Fluttershy, it's just a flesh wound. No biggie."

"Oh I just knew this was a bad idea!"

The weirdness had almost made me forget about what happened to Jack just a little while ago. Sitting up, I turned my head to see AJ biting her hooves while Fluttershy was wrapping a part of Jack's torso with bandages. There was a dark red spot on the upper left part of his back that showed bleeding through the bandages from where that dark crystal shard had pierced him.

"I'm not tasting any blood so that's a good sign, right?" Jack continued, making Applejack even more frantic.

"Somepony get him to a doctor!"

Walking up to everyone else, I held out my hand to my best bro. "You alright there champ? I owe ya one."

This caught everypony's attention.

"Xavier, what do you mean?" Fluttershy asked quietly, yet in a concerned manner. Everyone shared the same look.

I sighed and told him what was what. "What I mean is Jack saved my ass. Whatever that thing was, it was aiming for me. Might not have been as lucky as Jack is here."

"Don't worry about it man, ya would've done the same for ya boy." He said, chuckling.

"That thing was King Sombra." Shining Armor said. "He's a tyrant who used to rule the Crystal Empire, enslaving its population until he was finally stopped. When he was, he took the entire city with him."

"What a major dick." Jack mumbled.

Grabbing Shining Armor by his scarf, I pulled him so we could meet face to face. "Speaking of dicks, what the fuck was that back there, huh?!" I asked through my teeth. "You left us for dead!"

"Yeah! What gives?!" Rainbow added, flying behind him.

"Get. Your. Monkey. Hands. Off of me." was all Shining said. Our eyes narrowed at each other. Our glaring contest was soon enough broken up by Twilight.

"Xavier! Shining! Both of you stop it, this instant! Now is not the time to be at each other's throats!"

Rolling my eyes, I dropped the dickicorn on his back and walked towards the Crystal Castle, which I had correctly assumed we were heading. The others followed shortly, but I could feel the many eyes on us that were hidden among the darkness of all of the buildings we had passed. I was too pissed at Twilight's asshole brother to pay 'em any mind though. I so wanna kick his ass again.

It was a walk but soon we made it to the Crystal Castle. Try saying that three times quickly. Thankfully, the Eiffel Tower looking structure didn't have a labyrinth interior so we knew where to head. After a long exasperating treading through narrow halls, we made it to the throne room. Arriving there, the only pony that was in the room was Cadence, and lord knows that she didn't look well. Fluttershy and Applejack stayed outside the throne room with Jack, per Shining's advice. He was pretty sure that due to Cadence's nature, seeing him all bandaged would have put more stress on her. After letting Twilight and Cadence do their little sunshine dance, she greeted me. I could tell whatever magic she was using was taking a lot of it out of her.

"Hello Xavier." She smiled.

"Heya Cadence. Ya seem a little on the down side. Are you okay there?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a little... tired." She started to collapse, but her husband caught her and helped her on her hooves.

"For your information, she's not fine. The shield keeping Sombra from getting in is her doing and it's taking a lot of magic out of her." Shining said, glaring at me. I wanted to say something about his tone, and bring up the fact that he had almost gotten me killed in front of his wife, but taking the high road, I kept my mouth shut. Though it didn't keep Twilight's, because she could sense the tension I'm guessing.

"Xavier, can you wait outside with the others?"

Without a word, I exited the throne room. Jack was sitting on a cushioned bench while having his bandages changed by Fluttershy. Applejack didn't seem to want to leave his side.

"Hey man, how're ya feelin?" I asked.

"Like shit, but I'll live." he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"I thought ya said it 'wasn't a biggie?'" I said, nudging his head.

Looking at Fluttershy, he smirked. "Because somebody else's cute girlfriend is takin' care of me. You'd feel like shit too if you were in my shoes." Applejack rolled her eyes while Fluttershy blushed, trying to stay focused.

"Well, if I were in your shoes, I still wouldn't feel like shit because she is my cute girlfriend."

"B-Boys, please.." Fluttershy was having a hard time hiding behind her mane while finishing Jack's bandages.

"Can yall puhlease keep quiet an' let the poor mare work?"

Jack and I did as told, but still wore guilty smirks. My mood now healed. Jack was okay and everyone but Cadence was doing fine, which is something we plan on fixing too. A while later, the rest of the girls had walked out of the throne room. By then, Jack was up and running again thanks to Flutterbutter. Rainbow looked like she was holding in a few thoughts about Twilight's brother. I snatched her out of the air causing her to yelp as I held her. Her mood brightened as she giggled. Putting her on my back, I carried her as I followed the rest of the group out of the castle.

"So what's the plan, Twilight?"

"We need to talk to the local crystal ponies to find out about the Crystal Empire and it's history." She explained. "That way we can do some research to find out how to help Cadence protect the empire without straining herself like she's doing now."

"So go around an answer questions. Got it. Let's go, Jack."

Before I could do anything, Twilight used her magic on the jacket I was wearing to pull me to her as Rainbow flew off.

"Oh no you don't. You're coming with me and Spike." Twilight said, leering at me.

"What? Why though?"

"Leaving you alone, let alone with Jack, is trouble we don't need right now. I'm keeping an eye on you." She said.

"Heheh sounds like you only have eyes for me." I teased.

She blushed. "Xavier! You know that's not what I-.." She paused, blushing more as she heard Rainbow, Pinkie and Rarity snickering. "Whatever. Just come on."

After a half an hour of trying to talk to ponies, we met up again to see if any one of us had any luck. However, only Applejack came back with any useful information. As soon as Applejack said one of the Forbidden Words to Say Around Twilight, I knew where we would be heading. Rainbow and I shared a look of disapproval as we made our way to the library.

As expected, the library was dull and full of books. And we had to search these billions of books for one. This was a Bookworm's true paradise, but the most boring place to me. Jack, Rainbow and I let out loud groans as we started picking books one by one off the shelf. It was a tedious task that drained the life out me. Thankfully Twilight found a book talking about blah blah blah, Crystal Fair, blah blah blah, renew the spirit of love, blah blah blah blah some stupid festival, crystal heart and more sappy shit. We notified Shining Armor and Cadence about what they had found out, made a crystal heart out of a random block of crystal and set it up.

"There. Now we can start preparing for the Crystal Fair. Xavier, I need you to-" She said. However, when she turned to look at me, she clearly saw that I was no longer there. She wasn't happy about it one bit.

"XAVIER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

Twilight, you are too easy to troll. Never change.

After giving Twilight the slip to avoid more tedious tasks, I met up with Jack as the festival started by a crystal corn stand where he was leaning against a building while chewing on crystallized corn.

"Sup Jack?"

He chuckled. "Twilight's gonna kill you."

"Nah. I'll just hitch a ride on Rainbow." I said, shrugging. "How's the crystal corn on a cob?"

Jack looked at the item in question. "This isn't corn. This crystal on a cob."

"Diamonds on a cob?" I asked

"Houses on a cob!"

"EVERYTHING'S ON A COB!! THE WHOLE PLANET'S ON A COB!!" Jack and I yelled, every pony around us completely missing the reference.

Jack and I hung out for a while until we came by Rarity who was making hats out of hay and other materials while Spike was hanging with his crush

"Heya Rarity? Hey Spike. What's up?" I waved.

Spike looked up at me, then looked back at whatever he was looking at. "Hey Xavier. Twilight's gonna kill you by the way."

"So I've heard." I chuckled. "Mind if I give ya a hand, Rares? I'm pretty good with crafting."

"Sure, darling."

We've made quite a few hats. I've even made my own, but it looked more like a helmet than anything. It was intended for the crystal ponies, but since I messed up, I owned up to my mistake by claiming the hat as mine. A while later, Rainbow Dash had flew up to Rarity and whispered something into her ear before taking off. Rarity I'm assuming whispered into Spike's ear, having Spike take off. Curious, I followed suit, but Jack stayed behind for whatever reason. I tried to catch up to Spike, but again, my waning fitness reminded me that my cardio was low once more. Okay, this is really starting to suck,
big time. Stopping to catch my breath, I looked ahead to see Twilight pick up Spike and rear up to start galloping again.

"TWILIGHT!" I yelled. "*pant* Wait! *pant* Just hold on. Lemme catch my breath.."

Twilight turned around and gave me a look that told me just how pissed she was. "I'm sorry, mister, but we can't afford to wait. Each second we waste will be more strain on Cadence, and who knows how long before she completely exhausts herself, becoming no longer able to protect the empire with her shield spell." Huffing, she pointed a hoof at me. "And we sure as hay don't have time for any more of your stupid jokes! So unless you're done joking around and acting foolish, which I'm sure you aren't, then just stay out of my way!"

She disappeared in a flash.

...

Yeah, maybe I've driven her too far up the wall.

It wasn't long before I decided to follow Twilight anyway. I knew she was mad at me and besides Sombra himself, was the last person she wanted to see at the moment and rightfully so anyway, but I've somehow always ended up being a big help to her in one way or another. I went to the Crystal Castle to start my search. Surprisingly, I didn't have to search long before I came across the throne room that had a purple dragon standing in front of a large hole in the floor. I went for a closer look to see that there was a long and deep stairway that went really far down. From below, I heard sobbing.

"Heya Spike, I suppose that's Twilight down there?"

"Xavier, what are you doing here? Twilight'll flip if she sees you!"

"Yeah, I know, but uh... little intuition tells me that she'll need my help, and judging by the crying I hear-" he cut me off.

"I know but she said-" I cut him off right back.

"I'm going. You gonna come with?"

"Are you sure you wanna disobey Twilight again?" Spike crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow.

I chuckled. "I'm a pro at it."

Spike and I started are long trip down the stairs. As we did, the crying got louder and worse. And by worse, it sounded like she was being tormented in ways I could hardly imagine.

"Spike, what the hell, man?"

"What?"

"You hearin this and you're just standing up there? She's in danger!" I hissed.

"I didn't know! I was just doing what she said!"

I sighed. Can't be mad at the kid for doing what he think was right. "Look. Don't worry about it. She needs a hand whether she wants it or not. Sometimes ya gotta go with your gut feelings."

"I just hope this doesn't mess up Princess Celestia's test."

Gonna be honest. I couldn't give two shits right now.

When we got down there, we only saw one pony, and that was Twilight herself curled in a pony fetal position front of an open door to a wall.

"The hell is wrong with her?"

"Beats me."

"You go talk to her."

"No, I'd rather not."

"I talked to her last time.."

"She's your fillyfriend."

"Yeah. I'm probably the last person she wants to see right now, and besides, she hatched you."

After a short debate, we settled on a quick game of rock paper scissors, and guess who won:

The dragon...

I took a deep breath and approached the sobbing mare. "Twilight?" I shook her gently. It didn't work. By then I noticed that her eyes were green and red and she kept staring at the door to nowhere. So I opened both of my arms wide and brought my hands together right in front of her face. That got her attention and snapped her out of it with a yelp. There were a lot of tears streaming down her face and she looked emotionally winded.

She looked around frantically, panicked. Her eyes soon lied on me and Spike and quickly latched on to me in a tight hug, repeatedly whispering nothing but "I'm sorry." Patting her back, I looked at Spike with an eyebrow raised, confused at Twilight's 180 towards me. Spike shrugged as my attention went back to the trembling mare.

"Look, it's alright. I should be the one who should be sorry. Here I am, messing around when we're on a limited time frame." I scratched behind her back, but my words didn't seem to matter to her much, for she kept apologizing and telling me how much she loved me. My mind was now screaming a line from Blind Witness. What the fuck is going on?!

"Twilight!" I yelled. "What's going on? Get yourself together. We don't have time for this. What's wrong?"

"I-I... I saw you... and you were *hic* and t-then our friends..." Twilight tried to speak.

I looked at her straight in the eyes and made sure she did the same. "Look. Whatever you saw, it didn't happen. It wasn't real, okay?"

She still held on to me. "Please don't leave me.."

"After this is all settled, I'll stay with you until we head back to Ponyville, okay?" She nodded her head to my answer as she started calming down. "Now what the hell happened down here?"

I got my answer when Spike curiously went infront of the door that had no other side. I noticed magic coming from an ornament on top of the door and shot out at Spike, causing his eyes to go green as well. "Aw hell no." I walked up to Spike and gave him a 'Hey Doreen' slap, instantly snapping him out of it.

"King Sombra's dark magic. It's a doorway that leads to your worst fear." Twilight said, looking at me with a smile. "It's times like this I'm glad you're nearly completely immune to magic." Twilight then shot a beam at the ornament that ended up unlocking the door.

This time, I made sure to go ahead in case I need to be a magic blocker. "Alright. Time to keep moving. We got time but very little to wa- AW SHYAT COME ON MAN YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME!" I said, looking up at a larger stair well that went up. Told you 'bout dem stairs bro...

"Well, like you said," Twilight said. "We have time but very little to waste." I sighed and followed her on the long journey up.

Well, cardio was going to be my top priority when we get back to Ponyville. It was ten minutes of going up stairs and couldn't take another step. "Can we please.. *pant* take a break? I can't *wheeze* feel my ankles..." Spike wasn't fairing any better with him being shorter than me.

"Xavier, when did you start getting out of shape?" Twilight asked. Is she teasing me? "Hm..." she looked up at the stairs. "I've got an idea. Spike, hop on. Xavier, grab on to me and hold on tight."

I did as told and before I knew it, I felt myself being lifted. Twilight and Spike were upside down, but we were going up a lot faster than we were. I wasn't in the mood to ask any questions, but I enjoyed the reverse zip line.

-Jack's POV-

Okay, so we were supposed to keep the heart secret right? Well, let me tell ya somethin. Easier said than done when you're surrounded by ponies trying to take a sneak peak at the fake crystal heart. And thanks to Pinkie and her wrecklessness, said secret was out. The fake was now at the hooves of the crystal ponies.

Goddammit Pinkie...

"This isn't the crystal heart." a crystal stallion said.

Great... how will we get out of this one? We don't even know what the real crystal...heart...looks like. A grin crept onto my face as an idea appeared in my head.

"Why of course it is, sir!" I said, sporting a big smile.

Being pulled to the side by AJ, she hissed in my ear. "Now what in tarnation do ya think yer doin'? Tellin a fib like that ain't gonna get us nowhere."

Shushing Applejack, I stood up and faced the ponies. "I'm pretty sure you know what the crystal heart used to look like back then, when it got a constant stream of love and harmony energy and stuff, but it's been a long time since it's gotten any." I chuckled. "Surely you wouldn't expect a starved artifact to look it's best after thousands of years now would ya?"

It was quiet as everypony was thinking.

...

"That makes sense." said a random stallion somewhere in the back.

"I can't believe that faulty logic worked.." Rarity said.

"Who cares? We bought Twilight some time." Rainbow said. "Nice going, Jack!"

I thought that would've been it and things would go well from here on out. Not the case.

"But... the crystal heart isn't working. Does that mean it's useless now? How will it protect us from the darkness?"

Yeah, I was pretty stuck there... "I have no idea."

....

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" screamed probably the same random stallion near the back.

I hope we find the real one soon.

"Yeah, nice going Jack..."

-Xavier's POV-

We reached the top soon enough with Twilight disabling her spell, just as the shield around the Crystal Empire went kaput. At the top was the crystal heart flowing in all of it's glory. Twilight, eager to grab the shiny, charged for it.

"It's A TRAP!!!"

In the blink of an eye, she grabbed the heart, but dropped it as she became trapped by the same kind of crystals that almost stabbed me.

"Twilight!"

Twilight tried to teleport out, but ended up being sucked right back into the trap. "Boys, don't move!" Twilight demanded. "I'm trapped, but fine."

"We gotta get you out of there, Twi. How else are you going to finish your test?" Spike asked.

"Fuck the test!"

"Xavier, she needs to-"

"No Spike, he's right. It's up to the two of you now. Take the crystal heart to the crystal ponies, now. Go!"

At this, I grabbed Spike and the crystal heart and jumped to the edge of the building. Looking down was my first mistake. It was a long way down, and the crystal ponies were all in a panic. I carefully tried to make my way down quietly. What I didn't count on was Spike screaming "We have the crystal heart, Sombra! Kill us both so you can take it!"

Okay, he didn't really say that, but he might as well have. Either way, I ended up losing my footing and went free falling, letting go of the crystal heart, but still holding on to Spike. I couldn't reach the relic anymore, but I figured how he could. Spike knew what to do when I tossed him to it. Sombra was coming for us on his rising crystal platform, fully restored, but before he could grab the crystal heart from Spike, the dragon disappeared in a pink blur. I saw it was Cadence who was flying Spike to the crystal castle where it belonged. Unfortunately, I was still falling. Falling right towards Sombra. The free fall blew my 'helmet' off.

"I will rule the empire! I will not be stopped, nor will my dream!" Sombra shouted in a dark tone.

The moment he looked up, would be the moment I saw the look on his face as he knew what was coming to him. This is for stabbing Jack you asshole.

"FALCON PUNNNNNNNCH!!!"

My fist had connected to his face with a heavy blow as he was knocked off of his little platform, screaming. Then came the blast that put the crystal empire shield back up, and disintegrated Sombra until he was no more. All was well, Sombra was gone. The crystal ponies were happy, the dark crystals were gone, and I'm still falling. Isn't life grand? Looks like this is it for me.

It wasn't, if it's not obvious enough that it wouldn't end for me. I wouldn't die to a free fall if I'm dating the fastest flier in Equestria. I was caught by Rainbow Dash who looked different.

"I gotcha!"

"Thanks for the save, Dash."

"You think I'd really let my monkey boy hit the ground from that height? Psh! Yeah right."

She dropped me off where the rest of our friends were. Everyone looked different. Well, every pony looked different. Everyone was crystallized except for me and Jack, who was also anti-climatically normal. Feh! Why would I wanna be crystally and shiny anyway?

"So how do I look?" Rainbow asked.

"Like sour skittles." I teased, pulling her into a hug. "But pretty cool I guess."

"Hah! You got me beat! That punch you gave to Sombra was totally awesome!" She said, giving me a hoof bump.

There was then a flash, a pop, and then I was glomped by none other than Crystal Twilight.

"You did it! You really did it!" She said, letting go of me. "I'm so proud of you and Spike." She went over to the drake and gave him a nuzzle.

Everyone was smiling except for one of the group. Needless to say, Shining was leering at me a he approached. "I've gotta admit, punching Sombra was pretty cool. Not that it helped, but it was still cool. You've earned some respect from me." Shining said, smiling. However that smile quickly went away. "But I still don't like you, you insufferable ape."

I grinned in his face. Good.

"Break it up you two." Twilight said, walking between us.

Pinkie intervened as well. "Yeah! We finally beat the meany Sombra. Now's not the time to be meanies to each other, but you know what this calls for instead?"

"Pinkie Party...." Jack and I said in unison.

On the way out of the Crystal Empire, Spike managed to slip over something. The girls and I stopped to see what it was, only to find it was a tooth. It was more of a fang. Ruling out me, Spike and Jack being the only ones there with canines, having all of our pearly whites, we came to one conclusion.

A conclusion that caused Rainbow to burst out laughing.

"I knocked King Sombra's tooth out."

Author's Note

After a long wait for a few months, I bring you the introduction to 7HiP Season 3. I had a lot of fun using my imagination with this one while trying to skip over stuff everyone knows happened in the show, and even managed to change a few things.

For example, Twilight seeing something different in Sombra's door of Fear. 1. Xavier already dispelled that fear of Celestia disowning her because of a failed test. 2. The later reason seemed trivial, so for it to be a door of darkest fear, I ended up thinking darker. Something that would break Twilight. What it is, you can use your imagination and take a guess if you want, but this moment will come back in a later chapter.

Another example. Jack pulling a Hercule Satan to almost make the crystal ponies believe the fake Crystal Heart was real. I changed a few things, because I don't want the humans being there to be a minor change. I'm aiming for things to go different. Way different from the show.

With all of this out of the way, boy does it feel good to upload something after so long. The reason it did was because I felt it'd be better to write out the plots for each of the chapters before I started working on it. This being uploaded means I'm done. I've written out everything, and will be uploading more. Maybe not as long as this chapter, but you get the idea. 🙃

Anyway, Happy 'murica Day everyone! 🦅

S3 Chapter 2: Dawn of the Pink

-Xavier's Recap-

There was a lot of talk on the train back home, with Twilight being worried about failing a test and all. Frankly, I wasn't really all that worried, so I kept kicking Spike's ass in Smash Bros as we waited. I was basically waiting to make my 'I told you so' speech to Twilight, seeing as I knew Celestia wouldn't kick her to the curb for passing on the 'save the day' torch. I got some comments too about punching Sombra in the face as well when Luna noticed my new trophy dangling from my neck. Rainbow Brag wouldn't shut up about it as she went on and on about how awesome it was. Of course my head couldn't help but grow three times regular size that moment, but alas, I had to deflate it and stay the humble human I was. Truth be told, I thought I was going to die, but seeing that I was nearing Sombra who solidified himself, I decided to give him one last 'fuck you' before needing to be scraped from the ground. For a moment I forgot that my chick had my back.

You know when a kid has nightmares and end up going to their parents' room to sleep with them? Yeah, Rainbow's the mom, I'm the dad, and Twilight's the child. She's been having a few nightmares since we came back from the Crystal Empire, and each time she did, she beelined it straight to my home. Sometimes, she teleported, which didn't always end well. Often Trae, Jack or Jeff would be dropping the shaken mare in my room before going back to sleep. Needless to say, I asked Luna for help since this was her thing. Good news, she was able to help a little. Bad news, she couldn't help much. What happened in Twilight's dream seemed to unnerve her quite a bit as well. One thing is sure, she wouldn't speak of it for some reason. Thanks for the help, Luna... NOT!!! Either way I couldn't think of much to do but allow her to sanctuary on my bed. At least she's normal by day.

-End of Recap-

I woke up from being repeatedly poked by a hesitant yet gentle hoof poke and the scent of cherry blossoms. Opening an eye, I was met with two blue pools, separated by yellow. "Good morning Xavier." I had forgotten that Flutterbutt had stayed in my room with me overnight.

I sat up while running a hand through my hair when I realized that it was that time to have my hair shaved again. Looking at the time, it was 10:00 am. I silently thanked God that Twilight Naggle had other things to do besides nag me for oversleeping. Or had she finally accepted my laxed lifestyle? "Hey Flutters. You seen bro around?"

"No... I think he stayed a night at his fillyfriends'." She said.

Known fact, bro and I cut each other's hair. I don't cut my own unless I'm going for a buzz cut. I'd only feel that way during the Summer. You should've been there when I first shaved my head like that. Nopony could look me in the eye but Twilight and Rainbow. Both had me go to the hospital later on to see if I had a disease or not. Fluttershy cried, Pinkie laughed, and Rarity stayed away from me like I was a disease and Applejack hid behind Jack as he laughed at the others. I had to fill them all in on human hairstyles and reassure them that they'd grow back within a week or two in which Jack joked that it would after my chemotherapy, throwing Twi and Dash into further panic and earning him a heavy slap upside his head.

But back to the point, I decided my hair could wait a little longer. The girls hate it when its cut super short, so I'll make them panic again next year. After breakfast which consisted of nothing but toast and cereal, I went to check on the list of requests. I figured if I didn't have any requests to do, I could go free running again. I was still working on getting my cardio back on track and I wasn't done yet. Grabbing my headphones on the way out, I checked the list. An odd thing I saw was Brianna's name showing up to pet sit Pinkie's toothless gator. As it turned out, no one needed me today, so I opened up my front door like Shrek on a good day to began my free running. Jack was waiting for me outside.

"Yo."

"Sup?"

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Race to Sugarcube Corner?"

"Hell yeah."

And so we started running. However, upon our first turn, we crossed an unexpected sight which was an army of Pinkie Pies. We both ended up staring at the thirty-something Pinkie Pie's all doing random things, such as hopping around, bouncing around, rolling around, hanging around, one of them was lying down like someone died. I turned to Jack with a hand up.

"Slap my hand please."

"Why?"

"Just do it..." I demanded.

He did. "Okay now what?"

"Thanks for tagging me out." I said before heading home.

"...Wat?"

-Jack's POV-

As I watched Xavier leave, I realized the mistake I had made. I've walked straight into an issue I had no idea on how to handle. Turning around, I noticed all but one of the Pinkie Pies were staring straight at me. Giving Xavier the bird in my head, I mustered up whatever courage I could and put on a nervous smile.

"Heya girls."

"HI JACK!" they all said.

"So... what are all of you uh... Pinkies doing out on this fine day?"

"HAVING FUN!!!" They all said in unison.

I can see that. He watched them all bounce around. They seemed so energetic. But then again, an idea hit me.

"Hey girls. I wonder if you're interested in doing something fun with me?" This stopped them in their tracks again, a few stopped in mid air. Not gonna ask. "Who wants to go parkouring?!?"

Thirty minutes later...

-Xavier's PoV-

Dash and I were hanging out near town square after the Pinkies ruined her chillaxation at the lake. She had filled me in on everything Pinkie since yesterday, from how she had exhausted herself trying to have fun with everyone, to how her plans with her friends overlapped each other. Didn't take a rocket scientist to find out why there are so many Pinkies, but the question is how. I didn't think much of it because there was always one answer that made sense of it all:

"Magic."

"Yeah. That's healthy thinking. That's your guess for everything that happens." Rainbow said.

"Only with things that happens that I can't explain anyway. What else would it be?"

"Twilight said something about a mirror pool." Rainbow scratched her head.

"Which is a magical pool that apparently creates duplicates of the user using magic." I said, proving my point further.

"Whatever... Two Pinkies are one too many this world can handle let alone, like, thirty of them! I mean, look!" Dash pointed a hoof in the distance. We saw Jack leading an army of Pinkies on the rooftops and the streets. I chuckled at the thought of someone creating a bad ass montage of Jack's parkour, featuring the giggling pink ponies that didn't fit with the mood of awesome.

"Jack looks like he's having fun."

"Psh! Yeah I wonder who'll tire out first." Dash said. "My bet's on Jack!"

"Alright. If the Pinkies tire out first, you owe me a milkshake." I said.

"You're on!"

An hour later, we were in Town Square, the pink ponies all tuckered out while Jack was still running in place with two fingers on his neck.

"But... How?!?" Dash said, stunned at the unexpected sight. "I thought you said humans weren't magical!"

Snickering, I pointed to Jack who was pulling out his fourth can of Equestria's equivalent of a Red Bull and downed it. Crushing the can against his head, he squat down in front of a Pinkie next to her ear.

"WOOOOOOT!!! WOOOOOOT!!! WOOOOOOOT!!!"

"That stuff cannot be good for him." Dash said.

"Never stopped him before though. He's gonna be pissing lightning for a while." I said. "Now about that milkshake..."

Then, Twilight and the rest of the girls arrived with the Pinkie who didn't look happy. It started to unnerve me a bit. You know when you've known someone for a while who's always smiling, but then you do something so stupid that you either piss them off, infuriating them or cause them to have deep depression and make them break down crying? Yeah. Even though I wasn't the cause of it, it wasn't a good feeling.

"There you are! Where have-" Twilight looked at all of the out of breath and one hyperactive Jack that was doing one handed pushups. "What in the-"

"Four cans of energy drink." I answered.

"How in tarnation are we supposed ta tell which one is our Pinkie?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah.. How am I do I know if I'm the real me or not?" Sad Pinkie seconded. I really didn't wanna be there. I needed a distraction. It came when I saw Brianna coming our way with Pinkie's pet Gummy in her arm.

"Pinkie, you forgot to tell me what I'm supposed to feed Gummy." She said. Then it hit me like Terry Tate the Linebacker.

Grabbing the baby gator, I took him in the middle of the Pinkies and left him there. The girls were confused as the cogs were turning in their heads. Gummy then crawled back to where the girls were, opened his jaws and clamped them on Sad Pinkie's tail. Fluttershy gasped as she had finally caught the gist of what had just happened and whispered in Twilight's ear. Twilight lit her horn up and shot a spell at all of the other Pinkies. As they inflated and poofed, Rarity had broke the silence.

"I'm sure most of us would like to know what just happened, so if one of you dears can explain?"

Fluttershy, the expert of everything animal, explained. "Well, Gummy here knows who his owner is and can find out who is real and who is fake. Once they've been around their owners as much as Gummy has, they develop a sense to where their owner is."

Pinkie back to her normal self, hugged and cuddled with her pet gator who was still clamped onto her tail. She then looked up at me, grinning with a blush that had made the hairs on my neck stand up.

NO! NO NO NO!!! HELL TO THE NAW NAW NAW!!! NUH-UH, NO WAY, NO HOW!!!

"It was Jack's idea. It was all his! Yup! He was the one who thought of it! It was his plan from the start! He went and told Brianna beforehand to bring Gummy her at this time!" I lied.

Brianna being a big mouth started to call me out, but I covered my ears. "Sis if you keep your damn mouth shut and play along, I'll buy you a milkshake." She beamed and nodded, wanting that milkshake.

"Yeah! It was Jack's idea!" Brianna played along.

I looked to Pinkie, but she wasn't there. When I looked at Jack, he was doing pushups still, but with a little more added weight of Pinkie hugging his torso.

"I! AM! THE! RUNNERMEISTER!!!"

And that's how Jack got his 3rd love interest.

S3 Chapter 3: Sombra's Curse pt.1 / How to Plant a Seed

-Xavier's Recap-

When Jack finally came to the next morning, he had wondered why Pinkie was clinging to his waist. I filled him in on the drunk night he had with her, and how he got her pregnant with his child. After being slapped in the back of the head, I told him the truth. His reaction was about the same as mine when Fluttershy joined mine. The only thing I left out was why she was with him instead of me.

Not that he'd care later. The more mares Jack has, the happier. I wish I shared his emotions on that matter. Maybe it's because he's used to multiple girls liking him back on Earth? Oddly enough he never went out with any of them. He figured that they only wanted to use him to up their status. I always figured that it was because he didn't have the heart to pick one over the other. Here, he could have both, and the mares in Ponyville seem more genuine, to her credit, even Rarity.

There are times where being popular seems more of a curse and back at home, I was thankful that I didn't have it. Although, looking at Jack, it would have been a good practice for dealing with my situation. See, remember mentioning about my claustrophobia? The bed was already getting a bit too crowded for my liking. I get bed sharing is a custom here, but sometimes a guy needs his space. Thankfully Flutters understood. Didn't have the heart to tell Twilight or Dash off, seeing the former having issues with sleeping well without me for some odd reason that Luna won't talk to me about, and the later because well, had a spot on the bed first.

Enough about girl issues though. I started noticing our little siblings were often going with Jack over to Sweet Apple Acres often with the exception of Hiroto who apparently would rather work on his own projects rather than socialize. Although I was curious as to why, I kept forgetting to ask. Probably because my hands were full with other things.

-End of recap-

It had to have been around 4 o clock in the morning when my game of Uno with Celly, Starla and Dashie was interrupted by struggling and the feeling of wetness on my bed. Feeling myself shift to whatever movement as I slowly open my eyes, I waited for my brain to be atleast 35% awake before I could recognize whatever this was from being weird, to something not being right. I slowly glanced down. On one side of me was Rainbow Dash sleeping soundly. On the other side, Twilight was twisting and turning, mumbling 'no's quietly in her sleep.

Yeah, something was definitely wrong, if her horn 'lighting up' in her sleep was an indicator. And I say 'lighting up' but really, her horn didn't 'light up'. Instead of her usual violet aura, it was a bubbly dark purple with green sparks of energy emitting from them. It looked familiar, but I couldn't really place my finger on what it was. Through the feint light that it gave off, I could see Twilight's face, her eyes closed tight with tears streaming from them.

I didn't know if I should wake her up or not. The aura around her horn was most concerning. The last thing I wanted was to have her cast a spell or curse or whatever when I woke her up. I needed a second head in this. I woke up Dash with a few taps on the head.

"Wha? Whasgoinon~" She said groggily. I snapped my fingers infront of her face to wake her up faster before pointing to Twilight.

"I dunno, but Twilight's being kinda hectic... Think I should wake her up?" I asked.

"Well duh.. you should wake her up, not me.." She grumbled, turning over.

My brows furrowed at her. "Well excuse me if I think I could use a second opinion on what to do here."

Rolling my eyes, I flicked Twilight's horn hard, hoping my magic immunity would dissipate the magic even a bit. It came back to me when Twilight shot up instantly, screaming as her eyes were glowing green and red. That was all I needed to see to know that this was very serious.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" She shrieked. If Dash and I weren't fully awake, we sure were by then. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she woke anyone else up.

Twilight looked around frantically as she took in her surroundings. When her eyes landed on me and Dash, her eyes went back to normal before she had started sobbing face first onto the comforter. Well, these sheets will probably need to be dried before reuse, and not for that reason. Dash and I looked at each other, sharing very uncomfortable expressions. Dash had never seen her like this, ever. The last time I've seen Twilight this deep in despair, Discord was the cause of it. If it were April 20th, I'd say he got stone'd.

Mentally face-palming at my own stupid thoughts, I gave Twilight a few gentle pats on the head. When she lifted her head, she had latched onto both of us. I was taken aback a bit, but thinking back, I started remembering her eyes being the same color a while ago. I had pieced it together that this had all started when she was standing in front of that damned door at the Crystal Empire. She had some sort of vision that probably still haunts her. I'm going to have to have a talk with Luna soon.

I received a light nudge to the side from Dash, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was holding on to her friend and herd mate and I wasn't. She made sure I knew it. I suppose the only thing I can do now is to calm her down. I had managed to calm her down using the same trick I usually use, which are ear scratches. Ponies love 'em.

"I'm sorry.." Twilight whispered.

I shook my head. "It's cool. It was just a bad dream." I lied. Whatever this was, it was most likely more than just a dream, but it didn't seem like she needed to hear the truth at the moment. We'd talk when she was more composed and settled.

Neither of us went back to sleep.

The rest of the morning went normal for the most part. After everyone was awake, I had walked Twilight back to her library. Since Dash had the day off, she had decided to be my personal assistant for the many many many many many many.... many jobs I had. Thankfully most of them are trivial, such as fixing leaks, gutters, replacing wooden planks, and a bit of landscaping. Some of these tasks could be done by the ponies themselves, but I won't say no to easy bits. Dash was a good help, handing me tools that I ask for. I figured I would reward her by going out somewhere with her later.

It was around lunch time when I went home to chill for a bit, but noticed the house was deserted. I know where Bro, Jeff and Jack are, but seeing that school was closed today doesn't explain the silence.

Shrugging it off, I went to the kitchen to fix me a fish sandwich when I saw Hiroto out back through the window sitting on the grass while working on some device attached to the generator. It looked like a dish attached to a box under it. Over it was a plate-sized floating saucer of sorts. Opening the window, I had to ask.

"Hey Hiroto. Where's my sis and Jonathan?"

"They went to help their friends with something." He replied.

-3rd Person-

"...and then she said 'Now scram crybabies!' and took our treehouse!" Sweetie cried out loud. The five were headed to the Crusader's stolen treehouse. There was a new filly in town that had joined with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"What?!?" Jonathan shouted. "I'll show them! First I'm gonna be all cool and stroll up and say 'Hey. You better give us back our clubhouse.' And if they don't, I'm gonna show 'em what's what!"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo yelled.

"And then they'll be really really super sorry they ever messed with my friends!" Jonathan continued.

Scoots jumped in the air, excitedly. "That's right! They don't wanna mess with you Jonny!"

Brianna stayed silent, smiling as she hummed Green Green's Theme to herself all while Jonathan continued going on about how he was going to take back the treehouse and Scootaloo cheering him on.

Soon they had reached their destination. Brianna had casually walked behind the treehouse while no one was looking. Scootaloo had came forward and demanded the bullies' attention.

"HEY JERKS! GIVE US BACK OUR TREEHOUSE!!" she yelled.

Jonathan got a good look at the new filly as she came out. Brown coat, two toned orange mane.

"Yeah! It wasn't very nice." Applebloom added. Sweetie Bell just sat, looking downtrodden behind everyone.

"Or what? You gonna tattle on me? You gonna snitch?" She said, her voice sounding a bit deep for her size. She then noticed their extra member and laughed. "Or are you gonna sick your pink monkey at me?"

Jonathan bravely stepped in front of Scootaloo. "Hey. I'm gunna say this and I'm gunna say it once. You better give us back our clubhouse if you know what's good for you!"

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walked out.

"Didn't she tell you to get lost?" DT asked.

"Yeah I did. What're you gonna do, chimp?"

"You asked for this!!" Jonathan took off his shirt and tossed it to the side as he got into a stance. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...." Jonathan started to charge, his energy levels rising. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" The ground benieth his feet started to crack as rocks started floating. His hair started growing, changing from brown to golden. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

The new filly stared down at him with a bored as none of what was described above happened. Diamond Tiara was giggling at the little screaming idiot as his face turned pink and red from all of his screaming.

Suddenly, from behind her, DT felt a chill. She turned around and looked inside through the front window and saw Brianna, staring dead at her from the back of the room with a pretty disturbing look holding up a sign.

Do I need to teach you another lesson?

The filly's mane stood on the back of her neck as she suddenly shrieked and fell off the deck of the treehouse. Her shrieking also caused the new filly, Babs Seed, and Silver Spoon to do the same. With all three going overboard, Jonathan approached the bullies, stopping in front of them with his arms crossed.

"You did it Jonny!" Scoots cheered.

"That worked?!?" "Sweetie and Applebloom said unanimously.

Jonathan looked at her, nodding his head with a smug look before returning his attention to the bullies.

"Now apologize." He demanded.

Babs squealed. "Alright alright! I'm sorry!"

Jonathan wanted to savor his victory. "For?"

"You alread know.." Babs mumbled, still trying to sound tough.

Jonathan laughed. "You know, this isn't even my final form." There was a faint groan coming from the treehouse that nobody heard.

Babs finally submitted. "Okay okay! I'm sorry! Just make your face not red anymore!"

Brianna came from behind the tree and walked up to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. "Maybe I should whoop you both this time."

Only one word could describe the damsel duo: Gone. They wasted no time in getting up and running back to town, screaming, leaving poor Babs surrouned. Seeing tere was no where left to run, her eyes watered up and she broke down crying like Sweetie Bell earlier. Unfortunately Applejack was nearby. So was Jack.

"What in tarnation is goin' on?!"

The kids had some explaining to do.

-Jack's Half-Assed Summary-

Apparently the new lil girl was Applebloom's cousin from Manehattan named Babs Seed who had a history of being bullied and wanted to be on the other end of stick this time.

Applejack came in head strong, as always, and ready to defend Babs going scold mode instantly. I did some investigatioin and it turned out to be a quick one. DT and SS had left quite a bit of their things in the treehouse, including DT's tiara. After a few 'OBJECTIONS,' desk slams and finger pointng, Babs confessed then and there, forcing my girl AJ to swallow her tongue for a moment. After said moment, she turned on Babs and surprisingly swallowed her tongue again when the girls and lil man forgave her, Jonathan being the first, so long as she never bullied again. Everyone is happy, everyone is cheering, yeah yay hoorah, blah, happy ending. Whatever.

Later hoes.

Author's Note

I might remake the ending but I kinda wanna hurry this ting along. I felt everyone had waited long enough and had the need to start on the next chapter without skipping any steps.

I also wanted to reward everyone for their patience and thought of a side-story.

S3 Chapter 4: Revenge of the Show Mare

-Xavier's Recap-

For some odd reason I've been getting visits from one of my sister and friend's rivals. She first came to whine about what Brianna did to her and Diamond Tiara. Howevver, Jack had already told me what had happened and frankly told me that they went back to being bullies. However long it's been goiing on, Lord knows, but surprisingly, she took responsibility after she knew that I knew about what happened. I was thankful that Twilight wasn't around to hear my advice to her and that was to "Find another friend to hang around." I notiiced that Diamond Tiara wasnt around and figured she sent her lackey to the lions den in case my sis was there. I should know about toxic friendships than anyone.

Fortunately I know of a certain asian who is either in his room or in his back yard that can surely use some company while he's doing whatever it is he does with his doodads. If he won't go out and socialize, I wonder if anyone thought of bringing friends to the isolated instead of forcing said isolated into actively seeking out others to hang with. I'm lookin at you, Mom and Dad.

As for Twilight and her nightmare problem, although I have mastered controlling my own dreams like a game of G-mod, Luna wasn't sure about putting my conscience into another pony or person during a nightmare as it could be dangerous. If it's anything like Inception.... I'm taking her word for it for now seeing as how she's the professional dream walker in this world. The most I could do is help her in the realm of the woken. Oddly enough, Twi went on about her day as normal like nothing happened. Until it's settled, she said, she's crashing in my room. Spike has been staying with the kids and teen. He seems to enjoy hanging with other male youth. It's nice.

-End of recap-

I woke up the same way I have been for the past few weeks. Pressure on my body and hooves nudging my chest. Groaning, I opened an eye to see mostly purple. Twilight greeted me with a warm smile, but the dried up tear streaks didn't fool me a bit. She was still suffering from a curse. Rainbow was gone. It was just me and Twilight.

"Mornin Twi. How're ya feelin?" I asked.

She answered with a nuzzle. "I'm better now that you're awake."

I gave her a quick scratch behind her ears causing her to hum in comfort. Sitting up, she had hopped out of bed. One thing I hadn't noticed before were the stacks of books that was sitting in a corner of my room. It was like my room is now a quarter library. I'll talk to her about that later. For now, I was just glad I could help, however little I was doing. She hopped off and walked out of my room, with me following close behind.

"Are you doing anything today?" She asked.

I shook my head. "Just gonna chill for the next few days. I've been workin like a dog recently. What about you?"

"I'm going to go over to visit Fluttershy. She's going to help me practice magic using her animals." Before I can open my mouth to voice my concern, she continued. "Don't worry. I promised that I would be extremely careful. Nothing bad will happen to her animal friends."

"If you say so."

After performing my normal morning routine, I saw Twilight off as she went on about her day. Yawning, I went to the living room and vegged out on the couch and well, I realized that while we were here, we had gone through every movie we had probably around five times. It started getting to Jeff first. When you've seen all the shows there is to see, or all of the movies there are to see, and multiple times at that, they start to get stale, and that's minus one entertainment we have from our old world. That's the one thing we all probably miss about Earth, would be that we are missing out on the new things. Memes, games, movies, I never did get to see the new Star Wars movie with that black storm trooper guy turning into a jedi. I swear if he meets the same fate as Mace, Mickey Mouse is loosing an ear.

I began to get a little homesick once more. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it by spending time with our pony friends and going on adventures with them or hanging out with Jack and the others. However, it's times like these when I'm left alone to think, that I find my mind drifting off to my world, thinking about everyone we had left behind. Mom, Dad, neighbors, other relatives, friends both online and off. It has been a tough pill to swallow that I would most likely, 9999999.981% chance would never see them again.

My thoughts were interrupted with a knock at the door. I sluggishly got up, not really feeling like going to the door, and moved to see who had the nerve to force me to get up from my couch. Opening the door, I was greeted by a familiar unicorn wearing a black cloak held together with a piece of jewelry that looked like something Hitler would put a swastika over and put it on a flag. I almost didn't recognize her without her hat.

"Trixie?"

"The one and only!" She said proudly. "How are my favorite fans?"

"Oh we're doing just fine. I'm actually just enjoying my day off. Wanna come in?" I said, stepping to the side.

She wasted no time getting into the living room and hopping on the couch where I had been sitting. Closing the door, I sat next to her.

"So. Long time no speak. It's been a while."

"Yes, it has, hasn't it?"

"How've ya been? What're you doing back here?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Not so well ever since I was shown up by Twilight. Show business have been rather tough when ponies everywhere think you're a fraud. I couldn't make ends meet and had to take another job. Have you ever worked on a rock farm?! It was horrible..." I nodded my head in understanding. "And I'm here because.." She paused for a moment. "Because I felt I would like to stay in Ponyville for a while."

Shrugging off the odd pause, I patted her head a bit. "Sweet. So you already got a house set up for ya? Gotta invite us over sometime."

Giggling she shook her head. "No, my favorite human, I want to move in with you and your sister."

WOAH THERE! SLAM ON DEM BREAKS! That certainly took my by surprise. "Wait... What? This isn't just something ya just spring up on a fellow, ya know... I mean, if ya need a place to stay for a while I can help ya out like I did before, but... living here? Actually moving in?" Not to mention that she won't just be moving in with me and sis, but also her friends, my bro, Jack, Hiroto and Jeff.

"And why can't I move in with you? Don't you like me?" She asked, stomping her hoof on the sofa with an annoyed expression. If I didn't know any better, her eyes were changing colors.

I certainly didn't want to send off the wrong message. "No, that's not it at all! We're cool. Just be cool and talk this over."

"It's settled. I am your new fillyfriend and you will be my colt- stall- whatever you 'd call a human coltfriend." she claimed. Okay woah. Something definitely ain't right with this.

"Alright, let's take a few steps back." I said, giving her the hand. "First off, you wanna be a part of my herd, don't demand it." She raised an eyebrow. "Second of all, you're going to have to talk to Fluttershy, Rainbow and Twilight. I can't and won't let just anyone in, especially with that attitude. What the fuck is your malfunction? Last time ya seemed pretty chilled."

"Fluttershy's a pushover. Easy. I can take that Rainbow brat, and Twilight? She was the center of all of this!"

"And how? If memory serves correct, this all started with two dumb kids and some of my hypocrite friends. Twilight wasn't one of them, remember?" When I turned to look at her, her eyes were glowing red now. She was seething.

"Why do you stick up for that mare?! She's the one who ruined me! She single hoofedly stomped over all of my dreams of being The Great and Powerful Showmare I wanted to be!" She got off of the couch stomped heavily to the door. "If you still even like that weak and pathetic mare and her miserable little friends, than you are no fan of mine, nor are you worth my time!" She opened op the door. "Farewell!"

When Trixie left, it left me wondering if she was an evil twin of the chick I met and not Trixie at all. The right thing to do would be to get to the bottom of it. Fuck having a day off, right?

Walking around town, I noticed the weather was very windy and cloudy. Thankfully I had a jacket and a hood to keep me warm. Rarity wanted to know if I wanted an umbrella, but I don't trust 'em. They're unreliable in windy weather. Maybe Dash would be able to fix it? I found myself wondering where the girls were anyhow. There was also a lot of Trixie Merch decorating- well... more like littering the town. It looked like she basically invaded and conquered the town in a war with all of these flags all over the place.

This chick dun marked her territory all over Ponyville. Seeing as Golden Oaks was closest to home, I decided to pay Twilight a visit to see how she's faring through the storm. Last time she had an issue with a large branch through her window, which is ironic because she lives in a giant tree. And guess who had to fix that up. Need a hint? He has two thumbs. This guy! I opened the door and to my surprise, I find five of the main six ponies that can't seem to go a week now without a human in their lives.

All attention was on me when I entered. Judging by what they were doing, they seemed to be trying to do heavy research. I did notice that the best pony for the job of research was missing.

"Hey monkey boy." Rainbow greeted.

"Sup? I notice someone's missing, so I have to ask. Where's Twi?" I asked. The look the girls gave me matched that of someone who ran over a person's cat and tried to hide it after the owner asked where it was. Looks of discomfort. "I'm not going to like the answer, am I?" And they're averting their eyes. "Okay. Enough. Someone start talkin." I said sternly. Not even Pinks would say anythi- "Where is Pinkie's mouth?"

"Trixie." Applejack said.

"Come again?"

"Ah said it was yer friend Trixie that did this. Pinkie's mouth, Twilight bein' banished from Ponyville, this was all her doing. That no good showboatin' mare done turned from bad to worse." AJ continued bluntly.

"We know she's your friend and all, darling, but something is definitely wrong here." followed Rarity.

"You're right." I said. The girls were taken aback by me not telling Rarity to shut up, let alone agreeing with her. "Trixie was acting pretty weird, and did her eyes always glow red at times?"

Rainbow then filled me in on everything that had happened, from Trixie's arrival, triumphant duel against Twilight and to her forcing them to do labor. That explains where they were.

"We gotta find a way to get Twilight back!" Rainbow said. "And make Trixie pay!"

Shaking my head, I shrugged. "I agree with everything except for the payback bit. Fluttershy and Pinks weren't there but all of this? Answer this. What would've happened had you three kept your goddamn mouths shut during her previous visit?"

"I- ....W-well.." Rainbow stuttered. Rarity was fidgetinig with her hooves a bit whereas Applejack looked like she wanted to say something, but got the message when I raisede a brow at her. Honesty sucks, don't it? Meanwhile, Fluttershy had her face in a book.

"Exactly. Tweedle dee and Tweedle Dum wouldn't have brought that cosmic bear the size of the White House to wreck the town to prove something that was clearly false to begin with to anyone who has a lick of common fucking sense!"

"Hey! Snips and Snails was Spike's doing!" Rarity argued.

Nodding my head, I agreed again. "True, but did the three of you put on hard hats and work to repair the damage caused? Did you even apologize to Trixie?"

I could hear Dave Chappel in my head. Gotcha bitch!

"I... I found something." Fluttershy said barely audible.

Basically Fluttershy found the source of the problem. It was that odd Nazi-looking jewelry that I saw on Trixie. Apparently, not only does it make the user more powerful with magic, but also corrupts the wearer as well and can somehow only be removed by the user because magic. Go figure. How to save the day? Grab the amulet. Find and bring Twi back. The first should be easy if I can get close enough. Magic seals mean nothing to me because I nullify it. I'd most likely be able to yank that thing off of her. No problamo.

Well, the girls had came up with a different plan to send a message to Twilight without Trixie knowing. Fluttershy had made herself fit into a log and had some of her beaver friends carry her towards the outskirts of Ponyville. While following them, I found that the entire town was covered in a giant glass plate serving cover. Keeping everyone under a glass ceiling I see. Approaching the edge, the beavers started hitting the glass with their tails. Before I could ask, I heard yelling. I found Trixie yelling at Dumb and Dumber who was forced to pull her around Ponyville on a wooden wheel-less chariot heading this way. It seems she wanted to make them pay for taking part in her humiliation years ago. As they neared, the showmare ceased her yelling as our eyes met as she glared.

Now's my chance.

"Oh heya Trix. What's up?"

"I should be asking you that question, Xavier." she said, her expression unchanging. "Trying to break through my barrier?"

"Nope. I could do that myself with a simple stone. I was asked to help these lil guys through so they can go do what they're gonna do with that log." I gestured to the beavers who were whacking the 'glass' with their tails. "Besides, why would I want to leave my favorite unicorn showmare?" I said, thinking of how to get close to her. She raised an eyebrow.

"So now you finally realize how great I am?" I nodded my head as I stepped closer. She held her hoof up as her eyes glowed red again, glaring. "Don't take another step forward. It's a bit too late for that. You had your chance earlier and you blew it."

Seeing that my plan of being a kiss-up to get close to her was no longer able to work, I sighed and chose to go on with the girls' plan. "Well, would you mind at least letting the little guys out at least, oh Great and Powerful Trixie?"

She leered at me for a moment before sighing and using her magic to lift the barrier for the beavers to pass through with the log which had Fluttershy in it. With that done, all I could do was bide my time and wait. Or I could try again later. Maybe now just wasn't the time. I don't wanna give her any reason to doubt me, or she'll make things a lot more difficult for me.

"Well, Trix, I'm gonna head on home. Feel free to stop by and visit again if you want." I said, waving as I turned to leave.

"It's 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' to you, human." You're not calling me by my name anymore eh? "And I have far better things to do with my time than to waste it on the likes of you."

While hearing that from her did sting a little, the logic side of me knew that it was purely the pony Hitler ornament she was wearing speaking. It only made me look forward to tearing that thing off her neck when I get the chance. At least now I know she won't let me close willingly. I'm gonna take it away whether she wants me to or not!

...

Okay... that didn't sound right..

Keeping myself distracted from the Trixie situation from the time being, I stayed at home. I had told Dash to let me know as soon as Twilight gets back. That way I could put my plan into action. However, waiting was starting to get boring as I was becoming more and more anxious to take action out of the concern for my friend's well being. Or it could've been because my short attention span.

I didn't wait up when I heard knocking on my door. In a split second, I had got up from the couch and opened the door to see Rainbow Dash flying. "Twilight's back! She said she's stronger than ever and challenged Trixie for a round 2 over by Town Hall!"

Now's my chance!

Not replying, I took off running while Dash flew ahead. Soon enough, I found myself right where I needed to be, with Twilight and Trixie in sight. With attention not on me, I hid myself as Twilight and Trixie had began their little magic-off.

It's now or never. Gotta get the move on.

Strategizing my approach and strike, I found a pattern. I can strike during Trixie's spell while she's in focus, or try to grab her right after she casts her spell, like the moment she stops. Knowing Trixie, she would admire her deeds even for a little moment.

After Twilight casted a spell turning her friends into fillies, so it seems, Trixie was about to cast another spell on Snips and Snails. As she shot out her magic, I had already began sprinting towards Trixie from behind. As soon as she looked to see the results of her casting, my hands were already on the amulet and I tore it off with ease, not even hearing Twilight's words to stop, nor hearing Trixie choke up and wheeze. Thinking quickly, I beamed the amulet into the nearest wall and shattered it.

"BOOM! NAILED IT! ACED IT! CAN'T BE STOPPED!!" I said, fist pumping. I looked around, holding my hand up for a high five, but I recieved horrified looks instead. "What's with these looks? I removed the evil ornament that was makin her go nuts."

Looking at Rainbow, she was giving the same look, pointing a hoof at Trixie who was lying at my feet, eyes rolled up and drooling, her eye color and her coat looking bleached and her cutie mark barely visible. For a moment, I was at a loss of words as I tried to piece together what is actually happening. Before I could ask what happeed, the doctors had broke through the crowd to take her to the nearest hospital.

Can anyone please tell me what's going on?

"Why?" I turned around and saw Twilight.

"Oh a few reasons. That thing was making her go crazy and needed to come off." I explained. "The book said that only she'd be able to remove it and she wasn't just gonna stupidly hand it over, and since you girls are affected by magic and can't removed it, I figured I could, and I did, which-"

"Which led to her magic being torn away from her with the amulet!" Twilight interrupted. "You nearly killed her, Xavier!"

Rainbow landed beside Twilight. "We had a plan that would've tricked Trixie into hoofing over the alicorn amulet herself. It would've worked."

I wanted to say something, but I didn't really know what to say after I had almost if not killed one of my friends. At most I could think to do was apolo-

"I don't want to hear it." Twilight said coldly, walking towards the hospital. "I'm going to try to fix your mistake if it's not too late."

The fuck? "Now hold the fuck on now!" I tried to go after her, but was stopped by Rainbow.

"Just go home, Xavier." Looking at the other ponies, it didn't seem like they wanted to say anything either. I had mixed emotions. Anger for being treated like the enemy for trying to help, guilt that I hospitalized one of my friends somehow, frustration for STILL not fully understanding what the hell just happened, and disappointed at the results I received instead of what I was expecting. Trixie being fine and free, the crowd cheering for their liberation, and a well earned cuddling from my chicks. Another heroic story to tell. Nope, instead this happens. I also felt disgruntled at the fact that I was expecting that to happen. RD's rubbing off on me...

With all of these mixed emotions, it started to get to me a lot, which led me to calmly address my feelings of the situation as cool and collected as I could.

"GET THE FUCK OUT MY FACE YOU SIMPLE BITCH! YA KNOW WHAT, FUCK ALL YALL! FUCK YOU, YOU, YOU," I shouted, pointing to various ponies as some covered the ears of the lil fillies and colts in the area. "FUCK ALL OF YA! YA'LL WANNA BE THAT WAY, FINE! FUCK YOU GUYS, I'M GOIN HOME! FUCK OFF!"

Giving every pony the double bird, I walked through the crowd, noticing the disapproving stares. "THE FUCK YALL LOOKIN AT?!"

Do you ever get the feeling that you're digging yourself into a hole, but ya don't think there's any way but down, so ya keep digging?

"Hey Xavier, wassup?" Jack said as he came around a corner.

"PISS OFF YA BLOO'Y WANKAH!"

A bed would help with this issue.

-Third Person-

Trixie woke up groggily from unconscienceness. She was out for several hours while Twilight and a few other unicorns transfered magic onto hers. She had regained some color back and was enough for her to began restoring her own magic on he own. That said, it left some of them exhausted. The only one left in her room was Twilight, who had dozed off at her bedside. It made her think about everything that happened and why she returned to Ponyville.

Banishing Twilight for something she didn't even intend to do in which if anything her friends had been responsible for (she didn't feel much remorse for how she treated them), and for how she had treated the first one to have her back when the town turned on her. The one who kept her name mostly in the light in that town, which she most likely stomped out herself shortly after her return. The one who still tried to save her from her own mistakes. It was more than enough to forgive him accidentally hospitalizing her. The last thing she remembered before blacking out was the town turning on him for almost killing a pony.

She knew she owed a lot of apologies, and had began formulating on how to apologize to the entire town, but she wanted to see him one last time. She nudged Twilight awake with a hoof.

-Xavier's POV-

"...And then I told Jeff to fuck off to a trailer park, he shrugged off, and went to my room to hit the bed." I finished, filling Luna and Starla in on my shit day. The two twin alicorns were in their pony forms this time. "In hindsight I probably should've been a man about it and went to the hospital to make up for my fuckups but I guess I'm only human."

"The alicorn amulet? We thought we had given it to somepony for safe keeping to keep out of the wrong hooves, but clearly we should've archived it in our forbidden chambers instead." Luna said, Starla nodding in agreement. "But you had no way of knowing how it would have effected Trixie as Twilight had no records of that happening with her."

"Makes sense... I mean, for someone that values friendship, why would Twilight think I'd want to hurt or almost kill someone I consider a friend?"

"Does she know you consider Trixie a friend?" Starla asked. It was something I never considered. Twilight knew that Trixie and I were on good terms from our last meeting, but I haven't really talked much about her since. Starla continued. "Perhaps she thought you were dealing with an ordanary villainess that threatened the town." Like you were?

"You do have a history of dealing with situations in unprecedented ways. Most of the time it works out in the end." Luna said. "Though if there is anything you should take from this experience, although you mean well, you should consider all possibilities and outcomes instead of just your goals and be more cautious."

"Got it."

"One more thing." Starla began.

However, before she could finish, I found myself lying in my own bed, opening my eyes as I heard ponies walking into my room. Basically, I woke up.

"Hey, Xavier. Are you awake?"

Twilight... "Yeah, look, if ya wanna yell at me more, save it. I know I fucked up."

"No. Well, yes, you did, but you still deserve an apology." She said, looking down. "You were only trying to help, and I should've considered that you had no way of knowing what would happen." So I've been told.

"I forgive ya. Don't worry about it. How is Trixie anyway?" Just as I asked, a smoke bomb went off on my bed and I was glomped by said mare. Speak of the devil.

"The Great and Apologetic Trixie is fine, and she forgives you too." She said, nuzzling me.

"We helped her refill her magic, and she apologized to me for all of the trouble she's caused. She also told me how you two are good friends."

"That we still are." I said, giving them both ear scratches.

Twilight gave me a playfully stern look. "Next time, let someone know what you're going to do before you do it."

"C'mon Twi, we both know that ain't me." I chuckled.

Author's Note

Alright. Finally done. Geez it took a while, I know. Said I was gonna have it done last month, but right before I was about to hit the submit button, I had came up with yet another idea on how to bring about the episode instead of practically rewriting the original. So I startd over to add more of an original spin on it, one that would expose another one of Xavier's personality flaws: Handling fuckups. I feel as if Xavier's carelessness never really had a real consequence and things always went well. Kinda wanted to change that and create an opportunity for further character development. And I don't think the mane 6 had a trusted friend that nearly killed someone, so I kinda went with a more serious approach, not that the two were angry but more or less panicking for theirs, Trixie's and for his sake.

Twas rather fun for me to write, so I may end up putting more spins often. Let me see your thoughts in the comments. 😎

S3 Chapter 5: Camping Make Up

-Xavier's Recap-

Sorry to disappoint but there's not really much to recap. I lost my shit two days ago, embarrassed myself, and had my friendship and relationship saved by a supposed villain that by some miracle I'm still friends with after almost killing her. Part of me agrees with Trixie, saying I had no way of knowing the effects of just yanking Hitler's ornament off of her. Just made sense at the time, but the other part just loves to remind me of how I almost killed one of my friends. Not a very fun thing to have on your mind. Not too much happened afterwards. When Trixie was well enough again the next day, she decided to leave and continue on her journey, but not before making sure that I was completely aware that she forgives me. Bro kept his mouth shut about the entire thing, thank God. He already knows I feel like shit I guess, and all of Ponyville are treating me differently after 'seeing my true colors.' There ya have it. There's your paragraph.

-End of Xavier's Recap-

It was a different day than usual for me. That goes without saying when Jeff, the edgiest of us humans, gets more business than me. I woke up alone today. Dash is probably still pissed or something, whereas Twilight had other things to do. Fluttershy's scared of me. My morning was off to a great start already. Seeing as there wasn't any reason for me to leave the house, I had made the decision that I was gonna be a shut in for a while. Jack was out with Applejack again and the weeaboo duo were out hanging with their friends. No pony wants to see me, I don't wanna see them. Or so I thought anyway. There was a knock at the door that I wasn't going to bother answering. Shortly after, bro walked in my room.

"Someone wants to see you."

-3rd Person POV-

Somewhere in Winsome Falls, Applejack and Jack were watching over the CMC as they played around the camp. Rainbow Dash gathered firewood while Rarity headed back to Ponyville to gather snacks for everyone for another night and would be back at any minute. The CMC were playing tag and chasing each other, but it stopped when Rarity returned with more food and an unexpected guest. There were mixed reactions everywhere.

Jack waved. "Hey X."

"What's he doin' here, Rares?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Jack looked at her, shaking his head.

"Well, I just figured it'd be nice to bring him along. The only pony that bothers seeing him is Twilight."

"Yeah ah suppose that wouldn't be good fer nopony stayin' locked away in their home." AJ replied. It took Xavier by a surprise. Surely she was there that day when Xavier lost it. Rainbow Dash came back soon with more firewood and froze when she saw him there. She dropped the firewood, waved nervously and bee lined it for her tent.

"Don't you worry about her. I'm sure she'll come around soon enough." Rarity stated. Xavier shrugged without saying another word before sitting on the ground, keeping an eye on his little sibling as she played with her friends. Rarity looked at Xavier, trying to hold a smile. "Excuse me for one moment, darling."

Applejack watched as Rarity went into Dash's tent before turning her attention to Xavier. "Ya don't have ta worry 'bout me. Ah think ya had more than 'nuff." Again, Xavier was silent but nodded his head. The silence caused AJ to sigh before she went back to doing whatever she was doing.

Soon, Scootaloo and Applebloom noticed Xavier and waved. Xavier in turn waved back before they came over.

"Howdy Xavier! Ya wanna play with us?" AB asked as Jonathan was going through his bag, pulling out a football. Xavier smiled and nodded his head.

"Sure."

After about an hour or so of throwing a football around and watching the fillies miss every single catch (no hands), it was time for lunch. For all that running around, the little ones were pretty hungry. Applejack had brought sandwiches and apple slices which Xavier felt amused. I suppose even she knows she can't live purely off of apples. Just about everyone had gathered around to stuff their faces with the exception of Rainbow Dash.

Taking about out of his sandwich, Xavier paused. "You have got to be kidding me." Xavier mumbled at his apple-slice sandwich in disappointment. He peeked over in Dash's tent where she was and could see her peeking out at him. The heck is her deal? He grabbed a plastic wrapped sandwich and threw it into her tent, sighing. "Yare yare daze..." He didn't think of it much. For the most part he sat in silence, enjoying his little snack. He heard the sound of the unwrapping of the plastic wrap and looked at Rarity and Applejack. The former looked at Dash's tent, shaking her head.

"Ya want me ta talk to 'er?" Applejack asked. Xavier shook his head. The mares were getting a bit antsy at the lack of jokes or vocal wit coming from him and started to worry a little. Jack on the other hand paid it no mind. To him, Xavier looked fine.

And he was. He just didn't feel like talking much. Xavier was enjoying his time away from work and Ponyville. Jack was telling the CMC more about Earth, and about how his dad used to take him to Monster Truck shows when he was younger. His talking brought back Xavier's memories about when he would go with him sometimes. Thankfully footage of the first time I've been with them stayed at his house on Earth. They'd always watch it whenever I came over and laugh at me.

Looking at Dash's tent, he shook his head to himself. He figured she was still irked with him. What he didn't know, was that he couldn't be furthest from the truth.

-Xavier's POV-

Nightfall came and we had some fun telling scary stories by the campfire. Dash told hers about a headless mare, and Jonathan was telling everyone the story about a guy hearing a voice from an abandoned house.

"I gotcha, and now I'm gunna eatcha. I gotcha, and now I'm gonna eatcha!" He continued. "And then he finally got the courage to follow the voice as it grew louder. 'I gotcha, and now I'm gunna eatcha. I gotcha, and now I'm gonna eatcha.'"

I had already heard this story before. In fact, he heard it from Jack, who heard it from me. I heard it from an old friend of ours, Darion, who dropped off the radar earlier in our lives.

"He heard the voice coming from the bathtub. 'I gotcha, and now I'm gunna eatcha.' He pulled the curtains open and... there was a kid sitting there, picking his nose!" He said, gesturing to a kid picking and eating his findings. "I gotcha, and now I'm gunna eatcha!"

"Ew!" "Heheheh.."
"Really?" "Haha!"
"Boys..."

The Jacks were laughing at the girls' reactions. Applejack asked Jack if he had a story. He thought of a good one he's heard, but one he put a little twist on.

"Okay. One night, a little boy was walking home alone. Little did know that she was being followed that night by a shady lookin guy. The boy's parents were out and they had left a note saying they left him some food in the fridge. Shortly after he ate, he heard the sound of broken glass. Someone had broken through the window."

This one was a new one. I hadn't heard it yet. Jack? Original material?

"He rushed into his room and into the closet as his stalker intruded his home. 'Come out come out wherever you are, boy.' The man followed the sounds of whimpering coming from the boy's room. The sound grew louder as he crept towards the closet. When he opened the door, he found the boy huddled facin' away from him. The man reached at the boy and..."

The girls were shaking.

"...the boy let it rip. Spicy Mexican did give him gas. The stalker passed out."

"HA!"
"HAHAHA!" "Goodness..."
"Oh come on!"

I slapped the back of Jack's neck. He chuckled "Why don't you tell a scary story then huh?"

"A blonde was walking through a bad neighborhood. A lot of bad things were known to happen in that area. Murders, muggery, crimes along that fashion. This one person was walking through the area alone. An easy target. A group of people followed, clearly with an intent on robbing and other dispicable acts, but then the blonde stopped. 'You thought I was some helpless blonde woman... BUT IT WAS ME, DIO!"

Bri facepalmed as Jonathan and the CMC laughed. I'm glad they're friends with weeabs to get that meme. This time, it was my turn to have my neck slapped as the mares gave confused looks.

A few joke stories between me and Jack later, everyone was getting a bit tired The Apple Jacks, Applejack, Jack, and Applebloom, had gone into their tent, Sweetie and Bri went with the former's sister while Scoots and Jonathan went into Dash's. Me, it wasn't too cold and I prefer not sleeping in crowded-in spaces, so I just stayed outside. No mosquitos, and the wasp here share sentience. I had no worries at all, so I found myself a tree, took off my jacket, covered myself and snoozed. I would say that I had slept soundly the entire night, but woke up to hoofsteps that stopped in front of me. Opening my eyes I saw Dash sitting there, frowning. However, it wasn't an angry frown, but more or less one of concern or worry.

"Somethin on your mind, Champ?" I asked, curious as to what she could want.

It took a moment of her looking around nervously before she finally managed to say something to me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." I shrugged.

"I'm askin for a friend.. If their special somepony is acting different around them since, say, they yelled at them, do you think they'll be cool?" She asked, ears falling flat on her head.

I could read her like a book. This'd be a good opportunity to get back at her. "Well, being honest, it depends if they weren't avoiding their special somepony and visited him once in a while to set things straight with each other. They'd be cool. If they did avoid them, then well... I dunno. It depends."

I saw her tearing up before sighing and conceding. "It depends on if it's me or some random pony I don't know. If it were me, I might forgive 'em anyway."

"So you're not mad at me?" She asked, causing me to laugh a little.

"If anything I thought you were angry with me instead."

She shook her head. "I was, but Twilight and the others figured your heart was in the right place, and I shouldn't have turned on you like that. And now you're acting different and weird, and it was worrying everypony. What gives?"

I had to refrain from laughing and try to keep a straight face. "What if I told you that I was taking a break from trolling and telling jokes no one would get for a moment, the stories being an exception. I'm completely fine, though I do miss havin ya around."

"I know, I would too if I were you." She chuckled before moving onto my lap and resting her head on my chest. I missed this so much.

I looked over at Dash's tent and noticed something about its remaining two occupants. I took out my phone. "Anyway, I think my break is over." I nudged Dash, getting her attention before pointing to Scootaloo snoring on top of Jonny. Recieving a nod of approval from Dash, she got off of me as I went over to take the most adorable but probably the most embarrassing picture of the two ever.

They are gonna hate me for this.

Author's Note

Hey guys. Finally finished with the chapter. Sorry it took so long to do so. New job, and higher priorities like family and life goals and whatever. And there were times were I certainly didn't choose gaming over the fic. (Sorry) Also was running low in inspiration, and by running low in inspiration, I mean having the urge to make chapters over the more recent episodes with all of these Ideas I've been getting. I have SO many ideas! So much plot in store in the future of 7HiP!

PS: Again, I'm not dead. I'm well alive. Also, 2019 words for the first chapter of 2019. Hope ya'll had a Happy New Year.

S3 Chapter 7: Days of Boredom / Helping Hooves / Pony Air Bootcamp

-Xavier's Recap-

I was asked by Jack for yet another favor. This time, he'd owe me two solids. The next few days, I had to get up early to help repair furnature, fencing, and had to replace a few planks from the barn as well as fixing a few other broken stuff. Free of charge of course as the responsibility fell on my man Jack for not keeping an eye on his little sibling. Hiroto had nothing to do with it as he was inside the entire time, so when asked to help, he replied with "Kotowaru."

I was not happy. Not one bit. I wasn't the only one, as Starla had her time cut short as well as Luna's. Thankfully it took about three days, but still I wanted to deck Jack in the balls at least once each day. Nobody was paid. This was something I was going to remember when it's the most inconvenient for him.

Some time after that, Dash had gotten a letter saying that she had been accepted into the Wonderbolts Flight Academy. Of course that meant a celebration as Pinkie threw a party for her. She threw two actually. One for the news of her acceptance, and one for her going away party. Before she left however, her and I had a few hours of alone time together. Soon, it would be time for us to send her off.

-End of Recap-

-Xavier's PoV-

I sighed as the girls and I were following Dash to her home. She had already packed her things, but it didn't seem like she wanted to leave, right away. She's dragging her hooves. I think I should give her a little shove. I picked her up from behind and flipped her onto my back as I quickened my pace.

"What're you doing?" She asked.

"Making sure you aren't late." I replied. "If this is anything like the boot camps back in my world, being late is the last thing ya wanna be."

Her response was silence. Our friends picked up the pace too.

Applejack chimed in. "Don't ya be goin' on worryin' now, ya here. We'll be waitin for ya when ya get back." The other girls nodded in response.

"Thanks girls. You're the best friends I could ever ask for." She flew up to her house, grabbed her things and flew off.

"Don't forget to write!!" Screamed Pinkie.

I gave her one final message. "Kick some ass, Rainbow butt!" She gave a wave before she flew off to the Wonderbolts Academy.

I'm gonna be real. I wish I could've gone with her for moral support, but I shook that thought away. Come on, Xavier. Mom never needed Dad's support when she was in the military. Just pray and keep wishing her well and she'll be back to you in no time with plenty of awesome stories to tell. This is Rainbow Dash we're talking about.

I turned to catch up with the girls who were heading back. Twilight and Fluttershy gave me concerned looks, but I returned with a chuckle and a shrug. Their concern wasn't needed. After we got back to Ponyville, we went our seperate ways and I went on home. Jeff was lounging on the recliner.

"Ya done cryin over Prism Brain yet?" Jeff asked, not looking at me.

I shrugged. "Why would I? She's just headed to her Wonderbolts boot camp or whatever."

He laughed a bit. "A pony flight show boot camp in the sky?"

"Pretty much. Though ya probably would rather her to join the Royal Equestrian Air Force instead, I know."

"Negatory. Seein' an air show was my first time stepping onto a military base. Got a lot of respect for the pilots." He looked up from his book. "We both know the Wonderbolts suck at doing real shit. I think we've influenced enough badassery onto her that she'll give 'em a new name."

I frankly wasn't expecting anything but mockery from Jeff. "Damn straight." One of the rare moments where Jeff isn't an asshole.

I went up to my room as there was nothing for me to do. No jobs, kids in school, bro's hanging out, Twilight and Fluttershy are busy, and I'm in no mood to take a step on that damned farm to see Jack. Not much to do but either play Smash or take a nap. I decided to hang with Starla for a bit.

Day 1

I was on my way to Twilight's one afternoon and came across Pinkie who was standing by her mailbox being weird. I walked over to see what she was up to.

"Hey Pinks. What's up?" I asked.

"Oh hey Eggsy! I'm just waiting for a letter from Dashie!" She replied. "She hasn't sent a letter yet and there's no way I'm gonna miss it when it does!"

It's only been a day... "Look, Pinkie, I miss her too, but nobody writes letters home on their first day."

"But she's not nobody. She's somepony."

I facepalmed. "Pinkie, look. How about ya go do something to take your mind off of Dash? If you get any mail from her, it'll be in the mailbox when ya get to it."

"Applejack said something similar earlier but I'm not moving from this spot." Pinkie said, planting her butt on the ground.

I give up. "Sure. Just don't let the pigeons land on ya, weirdo." I walked away. If Applejack couldn't make her budge, I'm not gonna put a lot of effort into it. I didn't really know why I wanted to to begin with. I thought nothing of it from then on and payed Twilight a visit.

When I got to her library, I walked on in. "Sup Sparklebutt? Where ya at?"

"In my room!" I heard her call from upstairs. I passed by Hiroto and Spike who was helping the former with studying.

"Hey Twilight. What're ya up to?"

Twilight was surrounded by books and paper balls while scribbling on a sheet in front of her with a pen. "Working on combination spells and how to make them last longer with less magic."

"Efficiency."

"That's right."

I tapped her horn a few times. "Good time to distract you?"

She sighed as she knew what was coming next. "Please don't." Smirking, I gave her a double boop on her muzzle. She growled and spoke in a 'keep calm yet annoyed' tone. "Xavier, look. I know Rainbow Dash is not around to keep you occupied, but some ponies like to be productive with their day, so if you're not going to help in any way, I have work to do."

I was going to leave her alone, but not yet. Even from behind she looked like she was about to explode as I got closer. I grabbed her chair and spun it around causing her to yelp before giving her a smooch. She blushed and returned the kiss quickly before going back to her studies.

"You're a cheat. I suppose that helped a little, but I would really like to get back to my studies please." She stated. "We can spend some time tomorrow though."

"It's a date. Gonna mess with Flutters for a bit now. Later." I left her alone and the library, giving Spike and Hiroto a wave, only the former noticing and returning the gesture.

I walked over to Fluttershy's cottage, only to find no Fluttershy. I did see Bri, Jonathan and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Gang) taking care of the animals with Angel's assistance while she was away.

"Hey girls, sup Jon?" I called out.

They waved as Applebloom returned the greeting. "Howdy Xavier!"

"Where's Fluttershy?"

"She and Rarity went over to Zecora's for a while." Bri answered. "She'll be back before dark."

"For her own sake." quipped Scoots before she jumped as if something was on her mind. "Hey, did you get a letter back from Rainbow Dash yet?"

I shook my head. "You too, huh? No, it's only the first day. I'll let you and Pinkie know when she writes home."

"Pinkie Promise?" she asked.

"You have no fingers." I joked before walking off. "Bri, tell Fluttershy I stopped by."

"Okay!" Bri called.

With not much to do with anyone, I went home again and gamed for the rest of the day.

Day 2

There was a shit ton of work to do. So many ponies had made requests for repairs, fence replacement, stuff I wish they had asked me to do yesterday when I had a lot of time. Seeing as how today wasn't a regulated 'break day', I sighed as I headed over to Twilight's first thing to cancel our little planned date. Before I could open the door, it opened and Twilight walked out.

"Wow, you're pretty early. My punctuality isn't rubbing off on you is it?" She joked with a wink. I shook my head. "Is something wrong?"

"Gonna have to cancel our plans today. Got a lot of demands, even when things were split between me, Jack and Jeff." Her ears flattened. "Sorry Twi." I sighed again before walking off. I could feel her disappointment. I was looking forward to hanging out with anyone thats not Pinkie or Rarity anywhere on an Apple Farm. Oh well. Such is life. I went home to see what's on my plate.

First job of the day, fence repair. A runaway cart full of bowling balls had crashed through an old mare's fence.

"Okay..."

Second job, placed by said cart's owner is in need of repairs as well.

"Of course..."

Next job, a broken window and table. Apparently one of the bowling balls was sent flying over
the old mare's house and through a window of a house behind hers and cannonball'd a table.

Wait... Seriously?

Next job is a smaller one, broken chair. Apparently a guy saw it happen, fell over laughing and broke a leg off of the chair he was sitting on.

This town is fuckin chaotic...

The NEXT job, the entire ordeal had distracted a certain mailmare while flying and crashed through a few mailboxes.

I broke into frustrated laughter as this seemed like something out of a crazy g-mod video. "SON OF A BITCH!"

After calming down, I went over to the first job. As I started repairs on the old mare's fence, drilling nails into the replacement fencing, I noticed the nails I had floating next to me in a magical aura.

"Thanks." I turned to see who had helped me and it was Twilight, Fluttershy behind her. What a pleasant surprise. "What brings you here?"

"You sounded like you could use a pair of hooves or two this morning, so Fluttershy and I are going to be your lovely assistants." They both gave me a hug and I gave them headpats.

"I appreciate it. I'd sure love to get all this stuff over with." Before I got back to work, I paused. "Wait... What's your solid?"

They both looked like they were caught in a scheme before averting their eyes.

"Well... we were hoping that in return, you would... picnic with the two of us? If that's okay with you that is.." Fluttershy muttered.

"A lunch date with two chicks? Done. Sooner we can get this done, the sooner we can leave. Though the table and the glass will be an issue..."

Twilight giggled. "Leave that to me."

With Fluttershy's help, the fencing and cart were repaired. I had told Fluttershy to go take the cart back to its owner while I work on the mailboxes, one of them still had a mailmare stuck in it.

"Hey Derpy. ...or Ditzy.. Ya ditz."

She replied with a sheepish grin. I had helped squeeze her out by pushing her head back through the mailbox. I wasn't going to push her out from the other end. Bubble butt. She gave me a hug and flew off. The mailboxes were an easy fix with duct tape. It looked a it tacky but it was stable. Heheh... Stable..

"All done." Twilight said from behind me. "A simple time reversal spell and you've fixed glass and a split open table."

Fluttershy had flown back exhausted. "All... *pant* done... *pant*"

I gave them both ear scratches. "Only two hours. Good work girls." I receiveed a smooch on both cheeks before chuckling. "Alright. As promised, we can hang out at a picnic.

Day Three

Decided to sleep in for the day. After yesterday's debacle, we officially put ourselves on break. Jack and Jeff's jobs took them the entire daylight before they were finished. I kept silent about my assistance obviously. I woke up hearing a few gentle taps on my window. I turned to see Fluttershy smiling. I opened the window to greet her.

"Whassup?"

"We're going to take an air balloon to see Rainbow Dash to deliver a care package and thought you'd want to come along." She replied.

I was out of there. I threw on whatever I could and bounced. Fluttershy led me to the outskirts of town where Twilight had her balloon prepped. The other girls were already there. I've always wondered where Twilight kept that thing. Everyone hopped in before the balloon took off. I had to restrain Pinkie to make sure she didn't bounce herself overboard.

I can't help but think I'm forgetting something important...

I couldn't remember what it was, but the thought of Rainbow Dash being in a tight uniform caused me to simp away from thinking about it. Unfortunately, it was interrupted shortly after we broke through he clouds.

"It's a twister!"

"Hold on!"

I missed the quick time event as said Twister sucked the balloon into itself. Round and around we went when the balloon cords started to snap and guess who was the first one to go overboard:

That's right. The one that always dies first. The black man.

The girls were sent flying, but were caught by clouds. I on the other hand, was thrown in the opposite direction. A stallion had pushed a cloud below me as if to catch me. I braced for impact. Unfortunately, the impact never came as when I looked, the cloud was now above me with a human-shaped hole.

So... That's what I was forgetting... The cloud walking spell bandages! And a parachute.

"SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Well... This is how it ends for me. I thought. I could hear the girls calling out from above growing quiet. Closing my eyes, I sighed as I continued in free fall, plummeting to my doom. I did not want to go out this way, and I detested being in this predicament. Falling out of the sky is Rarity's schtick! Before I hit the ground, I felt a hit from my side before blacking out.

It was only for a few minutes until I woke up again, seeing Dash in her Wonderbolts cadets uniform, nudging me awake. Her expression went fron worried to happy before glomping. I wasn't hurt or anything, and I was more than happy to see Dash.

"Good to see ya again, Rainbow Butt." I chuckled.

She socked my arm playfully. "You gotta stop scaring me like that!"

I shrugged. "Well, next time there's a cloud walking tornado coming out of no where while I'm on a hot air balloon, I'll be sure to be ready for it." I joked.

It didn't seem like Dash got the joke. Either that or she didn't find it funny. At first, she looked like a kid would when they disappoint their parents, but then glared before turning towards one of her fellow cadets who was gloating, blonde mane, mint green coat. RD got off of me and trotted towards her. The other cadets didn't seem too happy with her either.

Before I could hear what RD had to say to her, I was tackle-hugged from the other side by Fluttershy.

"Xavier you're okay! I thought we were going to lose you!"

"Same, but I forgot for a moment how fast Dashie is." I chuckled, patting her. "Ya can relax now, I'm fine."

Just then, there was a commotion. A very pissed off Rainbow Dash was being held back by Twilight and Applejack while some of the other cadets were holding back said gloater, now sporting a bruised eye and bloody nose. What had happened was when the gloater tried to hoofbump Dash, Dash hoofbumped her. In the face. Hard. Three times. There was a lot of yelling and I couldn't make out what was being said from that distance, but a few colorful language from Dash that would make Jeff proud. The commotion had caused Spitfire to comeout to see what was going on.

"What the hay's going on here?!" She yelled.

"She socked me in the nose for coming up with a better idea than hers!" The gloater cried.

Rainbow scoffed. "Lightning Dust's plan was to create a twister which not only risked the safety of the cadets, but also almost killed my friends! And she's gloating about it?!"

Spitfire stomped her hoof. "Enough! I want both of you to pack your things immediately! Neither of you are fit to be Wonderbolts!"

Rainbow teared up, gritting her teeth. "Well I don't wanna be a Wonderbolt anymore anyway if this is how things are!" She stormed off to pack her things. Never meet your heroes I guess.

I looked at Fluttershy who had just witnessed the crushed dreams of her best friend. I patted her head and gave her a reassuring smile. "I got this."

I entered her office while she was signing autographs of... herself? She looked up at me before resuming her signatures.

"You're gonna have to get your autographed photos the same way as everyone else." She stated.

I shook my head. "Nah, that's not why I'm here."

"Is this about Rainbow Dash?"

"Yup."

"I didn't want to do it, but I had to. We have a no tolerance to any sort of physical conflict on the training grounds." She said without looking.

"Oh come now, Spitfire, Dash is an awesome flyer and would make the Wonderbolts look so much better."

She paused mid signature, took off her shades and looked up at me. "I'm sorry, Mr. Xavier, but we have rules here. If broken, you risk being removed and disqualified from attending the academy."

I thought for a moment before remembering something. "Alright then. So there's no way to change your mind?"

"No, there's no way to change my mind."

I raised a brow. "Oh really?"

"I changed my mind." Spitfire said to Dash, who had just thrown her bag into the air balloon basket before turning around.

"What?"

"I said I had changed my mind. I'm only kicking one of you out, because you were right. What Lightning Dust did was extremely wreckless and put lives at risk, and is nothing to be proud of. And honestly, if I were in your horseshoes and those I care about were put in danger because of it, I would've made the same move you did, and probably worse." She sighed. "Xavier is right. I cannot rightfully fault you for that."

Before Rainbow could celebrate her stay , Spitfire held up a hoof.

"But that doesn't mean I'm letting you off easy, and if it happens again, you're out for good. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" Dash saluted. When Spitfire left, Dash tackled me to the ground, squeezing onto me. "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! What did you say to her and how can I repay you?!"

I laughed a bit before answering. "Easy there, ya might break somethin. And all I did was get her to put herself in your shoes, but no need to thank me. Thank yourself. I also gave her a little reminder that she owed you big after a humiliating event she didn't want me to bring up." I looked over to one of our friends, grinning.

"What?"

-3rd Person POV-

When Spitfire got back to her office, she had continued signing her photographs. She wasn't clear what just happeneed. She meant what she said to Dash, but she wished he didn't bring up an embarrassing blight of past. She was played, but she didn't necessarily blame him for doing so. She glared at her desk for a while before muttering only two words:

"...Bucking Rarity..."

Author's Note

And I am finished. Checking the date, it's March 6th, 2021 everybody!

Teasing aside, there wasn't much left to work on as I had finisheed about a half of it before I got around finishing the last chapter. I just had the recap to do along with a few other additions, and the finished chapter.

Not sure if I shared this before, but some of the future chapters may break off from the main story and center more around the humans, as they should. One of the things that bothered me would be the lack of creativity from typing out the show but just throwing humans in it.

Just givin ya a bit of something that's planned ahead. I might also do Equestria Girls too. Might.

S3 Chapter 8: Ditching the Cord.

-Xavier's Recap-

Rainbow Dash stayed at the Wonderbolts Academy for about two weeks before coming home. She had written everyone letters, and I'd open the ones sent to me in front of Scoots as I had not-promised. Although some of them I had to stop reading and cover her eyes. When she came home, Dash and I were almost inseparable for a while. By that I mean her always being around and sticking close, and even going as far as to ask Luna to hang out in my dreams. Sure I get bathroom breaks but that's about it. Using her tired wings as an excuse to piggy back was kinda cute though, and I'm not the only one that thinks so. I didn't mind it too much, however, as I did enjoy the company and she had a lot of stories to tell along with a few new stunts she had picked up from what she learned from the academy. I didn't want to say anything to boost her ego too much, but she could definitely surpass Spitfire in aerial acrobatics.

Considering that everything's back to normal, which is really saying something giving the stuff that usually happens around town, no issues with the town, friends and family are doing their usual thing, it seemed rather peaceful. Unfortunately, thanks to Sunbutt, it wouldn't last.

-End of Recap-

-Xavier's POV-

I woke up, good as normal, performed my morning routine and such, walked out and checked to see if anyone needed something like a roof repair or something, only to find that the only client I had today was Filthy Rich. He had requested us to help put in new fencing around his home. I suppose he wanted to support our little home business considering DT and Hiroto seems to be getting along again. I met up with Jack in the kitchen as we grabbed some bars.

"Yo, Jack. I have an idea."

"What's up?"

"Don't ya think it's past time Hiroto came along and actually did something with one of us?" I asked.

Jack thought for a moment, and considering where we were headed, he smirked. "I like how ya think. It'd be nice if there was a bit of balance between Hiroto and Diamond Tiara hangin out, while we ignore Filthy's bitchy wife. Poor guy."

"Yeah, let's not think about that. We'll just ignore the hag if she gets on our nerves too much." I stated. Jack nodded in agreement. "Should we bring Jeff?"

"Hell no." I heard from another room.

It's probably for the best. Not a good idea to put someone who's testy around someone who habitually pushes people's buttons anyway. Jack and I got our stuff to get ready, but we needed wood. Also Hiroto. Jack went up to his room to drag him out and bring him along, though he did struggle a bit.

"Come on, I said I don't wan't to go!"

"You spend the majority of your time isolated, and you're startin' to gain a bit of roundness. You could use some work." Jack said.

"I do work, thank you very much." Hiroto argued. "Just not what you would consider working. I have hobbies you know."

Jack shook his head. "So do I, but a little hard and physical work can do ya some good. Trust me."

Before Hiroto could interject, I cut him off. "Jack and I will give you a third of our earnings each if you come with us and do good work." Hiroto's eyes lit up.

Jack looked at me in shock. "We never talked about that..."

"Well, it's fair. That's if he pulls his own weight and doesn't slack off. Then he can use his bits for whatever he wants." I give Jack a few nudges and a wink. Looking at Jack's expression, he wasn't entirely on board and didn't pick up what I was throwing down fully.

"Sure, whatever." Was his response. Hiroto looked pretty motivated though, so I considered it a win.

It's been about four or five hours as we were half way done with our work. Thankfully Spoiled was away all week, and we actually were ahead. There was a lot of land to fence, but it was a pretty damn good idea bringing Hiroto along as Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara decided to help out on his end. It was a good bonding experience. Right now, it was just him and Silver as DT went back inside for something. I wasn't really paying much attention to them as I was more focused on handling my own. However, I couldn't help but notice the smell of gravy.

"Xavier! Ya gotta help us!" Dash exclaimed, tugging on my sleeve.

"What? Ya didn't save any mashed potatoes for me after havin some?" I feigned complaint. "Woulda been nice."

Dash stopped tugging on my sleeve before looking around at the work before smiling sheepishly. "Oh. Heheh, sorry. I'll getcha lunch next time-wait!" She snapped out of it. "Look! The girls and I seriously need you right now!"

"Seriously serious?" I asked, skeptic.

"Seriously serious!"

"Why so serious?" I asked.

"It's Discord! He's back!! A-and causing trouble at Fluttershy's!" She panicked.

I raised an eyebrow. Isn't he that weird bendy snake guy that was turned to stone after being Shoryuken'd?.

"I wonder how that happened."

"The Princess brought him here this morning and told us that we need to get him to behave!" She started.

"Uhuh..."

"And if he didn't, we'd use the Elements of Harmony against him again."

"Go on."

"But he's nearly impossible to deal with! He even poured gravy on me!"

"And you smell pretty good too." I replied, smirking, causing Rainbow Dash to groan.

"Ugh! Xavier, I'm serious! Fluttershy just refuses to use the elements against him and without her, it's pointless!"

I folded my arms and looked at her. "And what exactly is it do you expect me to do?"

"I dunno, maybe you could beat him up or knock him out again?" She asked, now unsure.

Once again, using the Damon Gant stare, I had to ask. "You do realize I had the element of surprise last time? Not to mention that's all I got against the guy. Magic immunity is pretty much the only trump card I can play against him."

"But-"

"Not to mention, the guy who surprise attacked him showing up to beat him up again isn't necessarily gonna help with getting Sunbutt what she wants, but the exact opposite." I explained.

"Hnnnngh..."

"Also I'm hungry."

Dash gave a frustrated groan. "Fine! If I get you lunch, will you help?!"

"A way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I'm in the middle of somethin, and I don't really wanna bail on Jack and Hiroto." I pointed to the two, the later was working while chatting up with his two friends.

Dash let out an exasperatd sigh. "Ugh! If I help you with this, will you help us with Discord?!"

"Hmmmmmm...."

"PLEASE!!!"

"Fine, fine. You help me with this, and I'll help you get a handle on your dragon goat snake eagle monster." I really didn't feel like putting up with the guy, but you know what they say, a happy waifu is a happy laifu.

"Great! What do you need done around here?" She asked, looking around before pausing. "Wait a minute... Why are we at Diamond Tiara's place? And why is Hiroto here? He's not exactly the 'manual labor' type."

I had filled her in on what we were doing. We were nearly done, but she gave a sly smirk on one of the reasons why Hiroto was brought there.

"Very clever monkey boy. Hiroto keeps those girls happy, Scoots and the fillies won't have to put up with them." She chortled.

Funny enough, I had completely forgotten them being bullies.

With Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara and Dash's assistance, we've finished the job hours earlier than planned. Dash seems to've enjoyed herself while helping me out. Her presence did make things more interesting for me too to be honest. Discord had slipped her mind as she had since stopped bothering me about it, though we were about to get something to eat anyway. We were putting the equipment away when I could hear Hiroto talking to his girls about how batteries work.

"Yeah, with batteries, you don't need to constantly have wires that attaches to a power source. The batteries are the power source."

The girls seemed amazed, but it was what he said next that landed me in hot water.

"You can pretty much just ditch the cord."

I could see Rainbow Dash freeze.

Ditch the cord...

"DISCORD! Xavier we gotta go!"

"But-"

"NOW!"

I turned away to let Jack know that I was leaving before Dash wrapped her legs around me. I was jolted into the air with enough force that I left a shoe behind. Having a Rainbow Dash jetpack wasn't on my wish list. I gritted my teeth as I made note to talk to her about this later.

We found ourselves at a lake by Fluttershy's cottage when I saw that guy. Yeah, the snake goat dragon thing. It didn't seem to notice Dash and I dropping in. Maybe if we're quiet, I can stay hidden and observe hi-

"Hey Discord! We may not be able to use the Elements of Harmony on you, but there's no way you're gonna mess with us with our friend around!" Dash yelled, setting me on the ground in front of Discord and the other girls. I held my breath as soon as she did for another reason. The girls were oddly looking at me as if they were either not expecting me to show up, or as if I wasn't supposed to be there to begin with. The later was written on Twilight's face. All but Pinkie who seems happy about me being there.

I closed my eyes in annoyance as Dash looked at me expectingly.

"Hi Eggsy!"

"So, you're here to challenge me again, aren't you, human? Xavier, they call you?" He looked downwards, trying to appear menacing.

"Hello, Q." I replied, gruntily.

Before anything can happen, Twilight stepped in. "No, he's not here to do anything." Twilight glared at Dash. "You said you were going to go clean the gravy out of your tail, not to snatch Xavier from... whatever he was doing to pit him against Discord!"

"I was finishing a job with the boys by the way."

"I didn't snatch him fro-" Dash started but was cut off by Twilight pointing a hoof at my ever so missing shoe. "...Oh..."

Not to mention I had the unfortunate circumstance of my un-shoed foot landing on sticks and rock, a former jabbing my plantar through my sock.

"BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!! LOOK AT HIS FACE!" Discord burst out laughing.

"Discord!" Fluttershy warned. "It's not nice to laugh at someone getting hurt." She started.

Twilight had trotted behind me, allowing me to sit on her back. Pulling the stick out of my sock, I looked at Fluttershy. "It's cool Fluttershy. Remember, I grew up around assholes and I still live with one. So... I'm not needed here?"

"No, you're not." Twlight answered. "But now that you're here, how about getting along with him?"

"Oh, my only beef with him was him making you girls miserable and trying to use me as a shield. That was about what, a year ago? Nah, we're cool." I told her. "He wasn't the one that dropped me there. Heheh."

Twilight had me ride on her back to a clear non-rocky not so stick-like pathway to Fluttershy's house before I got off of her. Rarity took note.

"At least I know why humans wear shoes." Rarity said.

"Oh, he'll be fine." Discord chipped in. "He's wearing socks at least."

I chuckled a bit. "If you'd like, I could take my sock off and put a few rocks in it and wack ya up side your head with it."

"Xavier.."

"Joking, Flutterbuns."

After a while of babysitting Discord, the girls and I were about to go our own ways when I was stopped by Fluttershy, her tugging on my shirt.

"Hey, Xavier? I'd like to ask you a favor."

Hm... This is odd. Usually she's a bit too timid to ask me anything.

"How can I help ya, Flutters?" I asked.

She looked at the ground before clearing her throat. "If it would be okay with you, can you spend some time with Discord? Maybe introduce him to the others?"

I furrowed my brow. "I... What?"

"I just think it'd be good for him to, you know... hang out with people on his level." She asked, giving me the puppy eyes.

"Pinkie alone sounds like she'd be more on his level than us, you know" I argued. "No thank you!" "Why dump him on us? Is it our magic immunity?"

"No! Well, yes, but.. please? For me?" She asked, really trying hard to look adorable.

"Alright alright, Fluttershy, you can cut it with the buttering me up. I'm not one of your biscuits, so quit it! Fuckin hell..." She grinned and reared up to hug me.

"Thank you so much!"

"Yeah yeah, sure but you owe me one."

And that's how I every now and then ended up stuck with Discord.

Author's Note

Hey guys. Thanks for your patience. Didn't really have a lot of fun writing this particular chapter, but felt like it had to be done anyway. I know I haven't been as attentive to this story as much as I'd like to be. Lots of stuff getting in the way, leaving little to no time to work on my fiction, particularly my job and other obligations. All I can do is try to work on it in a timely manner while still making a living, which I have been, although bit by bit. A few paragraphs here and there when I can. Anyway, again, I thank you for your patience. You guys are awesome. Still plan on continuing this fiction. Still got plans, but some chapters may end up like this one, not really fun to write but still will be written anyway. Don't wanna be a half-asser afterall.

Chapter: Pilot

Author's Note

Hello everyone, and thank you for taking the time to read my very first FiMfiction. I will try to make it as original as I can. I have some of the story written out already, and I'll try to update frequently. I'll always look for constructive criticism, or ways to make the story better. I'm always open for suggestions in the comments. Thanks again, and enjoy.

Chapter: Pilot

Chapter 1: Pilot

Friday, August 14th

Today would be the day a trio of siblings were waiting for. Well, technically, they were looking forward for what was going to be happening tonight. The Robert Siblings were going to each have friends over for a game night. A night of doing nothing but watching movies, playing video games, and just having a good time. Xavier Roberts, age 19, was coming home one hot summer day after gathering a few snacks and drinks for the get-together. Since it was going on 5 o clock, he knew that his older brother Traevon, age 21, would be coming home from work. Their little sister Brianna, age 7, was told that the sooner she got her homework done, she would be able to join in. She's been in her room studying for the past hour.

I know you're probably wondering, "What happened to the parents?" No, they aren't orphaned, their parents are well alive. However, due to their professions, they are hardly ever home, which sucked for them considering they were paying for a decent 2-story house (not a mansion or anything. They aren't flashy with their wealth.) that they hardly slept in. They still pay the house bills, but it's been up to big brother Traevon to get the cash to put food on the table since he's the only one with the job. Yes, the parents were making enough money to be considered upper classed, that only helped with paying for the house and keeping it insured. Since the economy was pretty much shit, and it was too late to try to get a summer job, Xavier stuck to doing his neighbor's yard work to ease the stress off of his older brother. Their parents were putting Brianna through school, however. There were many complications at home, but everyone were doing what they could to make things work.

About a half an hour later, Traevon was driving his car into the garage, and as always, he was pretty tired. When he was in, he closed the garage door, got out of his car and went inside. If there is a word you may be able to use to describe Trae, that would be the word sloth. The very first thing he did was trail upstairs to his room and fall face flat onto his bed. Xavier hoped he didn't plan on staying that way for long, considering they were having company over soon.

Ding Dong!

Speak of the devil, the first guest has arrived. Or, you could say the first guests. The little sister had a tough time deciding on which of her two best friends to bring, so both of her loving brothers had decided that she could bring both of them instead. A little brown haired, blue eyed kid, Jonathan, along with his youngest older brother Hiroto Wilson walked through the door, and along the two of them was their older, black haired, blue eyed brother Jack, wearing a Fallout Dweller shirt, who just so happened to be great friends with Xavier.

Hold it! I know what you're thinking. "Hiroto? That sounds asian!" Yeah, Hiroto's adopted. Long story short, their parents wanted another child and weren't sure they were going to have another one, so they adopted Hiroto as an infant. Guess what happened five years later.

No. I'm going to make you guess.

As Xavier let the three in, Jack carrying his 360 and his controllers in his bag, he called to her sister.

"Bri! Your friends are here! Take a break and say hi!"

It didn't take long before he heard rumbling coming from down the stairs. Brianna came down and hugged both of her friends while Jack and Xavier were doing their little handshake. He had decided that he was going to let his snoozing brother sleep, at the very least until his guy arrived. Jack turned to him

"Where's the other you?" He asked.

"He's upstairs, knocked out."

"Haha! Again?! Is this like his daily routine or something? Sprawl out on the bed the moment he comes home?"

"Yup."

It was going on 6:30. Traevon's friend still hadn't arrived. He wondered what was taking him. So far, Jack and Xavier were talking about random things while Brianna and her two friends were playing Super Smash Brothers 4 on the Wii. The real fun hadn't started yet. Eventually, Jack and Xavier pulled out their 3DS's and joined in their game in five player smash, Xavier picking Ryu, Jack being Link, Jonathan being Pikachu, Brianna being Kirby, and Hiroto being Fox McCloud. Nothing needs to be said besides Jack never winning a game. Ever.

It was around 8:00 after a few rounds of Smash did the guy finally show up. A large blonde muscular dude named Jeff, age 22, pulled up in his pickup truck and asked if he could park in the garage. Xavier went on ahead and opened the door for him. As soon as his truck was in and the garage door was closed, he rushed upstairs and childishly leaped on top his sleeping-but-now-awake-and-angry brother like a wrestler.

"Bro! Wake up! The big guy's here!"

Traevon groaned awake, sitting up for awhile before finally rolling out of the bed. Xavier followed his sluggish brother down the stairs and saw that everyone was waiting for the two of them. He raised both of his hands.

"Alright! Let's get this this party started!"

Everyone was ready to have some fun. The Wii was unplugged and replaced with the 360. Jeff went to his truck and got his TV out and took it to the family room where Jack brought his 360 and plugged it in. for 2 in a half hours, they all played Halo multiplayer. Xavier wanted to play some Serious Sam 3, but Traevon being the responsible one replied with:

"It's too gory for the kids and it has a lot of nightmare creating monsters."

Much to Xavier's dismay, everyone agreed and stuck with Halo. Soon it was time for the 3 kids to hit the hay. After struggling with Brianna's whining, she tired herself out and was brought to her room for her to sleep. Jonathan and Hiroto slept in Traevon's room. The four adults remained awake, watching movies until they each got tired and tuckered out at 2 in the morning.

It was a fun night for all of them. They didn't even care that there was an unexpected storm approaching their location.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Golden Oaks Library
8/15 Saturday
Ponyville 2:30am
Equestria

Spike couldn't go back to sleep. There were some heavy clouds in the sky. He was sure that the weather patrol didn't call for any storms this severe. It did just finish raining yesterday. What scared him the most was that one single lightning strike. It was light green, and it was loud enough to wake up the entire town. Twilight figured something fell downstairs, but was too tired to care. She put up a sound dampening spell for Spike and went back to sleep. Spike knew something strange was happening.

Chapter 1: The two 'Where's and one 'When'

August 15th Saturday

Xavier's POV

I woke up from the floor, stretching. I don't know or remember why or when I found a floor more comforting than a nice soft bed. I looked all around the living room. My bro and the other guys were still asleep. I then noticed that it was unusually warm in the house. Usually it's cold enough to cause goosebumps. Instead, it felt like a sunny day in Spring time. It was then I decided to go to the kitchen to find out what the problem was. The clock on the stove and microwave were off. The power was out, and so was the A/C.

I went upstairs to check on the kids. I saw the boys hugging each other in their sleep in bro's room. I would've taken a picture had I not peeked into Bri's room first. Instead of waking her up to show her the two brothers hugging, I found out that she was gone. Missing.

"Bri?"

No answer.

"Brianna!"

"Wha.. What's going on?"

I turned to see Jonathan waking up, rubbing his eyes awake.

"Do you know where Brianna went?"

"No, why?"

Damnit damnit damnit! That was all that was going through my mind when I rushed downstairs. I tapped on Jack's and Bro's cheek to wake them up.

"Bro. We have a serious problem. Bri's gone missing, she's nowhere in the house."

"Did you check the garage or the back yard?"

"..."

I rushed into the garage. She wasn't there. I went out to the back yard and noticed that the back yard was missing a fense, but instead was replaced with a view of plains with a perfect view of a mountain.

Is that a castle on the side of a mountain?

I rushed back into the house. This was not good.

"She's not in the garage or out there either!" I hissed, trying not to wake up Jeff.

One thing you should know, Jeff usually gets up early. If he's still asleep by the time you wake up, don't you dare wake him up close. The last time that happened, his father almost became his second mother.

"This is bad. And what's worse is that we aren't in our neighborhood anymore! This entire house is not where it's supposed to be!"

This caused my brother to raise an eyebrow. Jack was looking out the window.

"We're not in Kansas anymore, Todo."

The worrying was put on pause for a moment as bro and I stared at Jack with this overused phrase. I was resisting slapping the back of his head when Jonathan came downstairs.

"I thought we were in Roanoke Virginia."

Jack looked at his youngest sibling and told him that he was too young to get the reference. This was when Trae spoke up.

"Jokes aside, we should focus on getting the power running. We have a solar-powered generator in the attic somewhere. I'll take care of it. Jack, you wake up Jeff and tell him what's going on."

"I'll head out and look for sis."

Everyone turned their attention to me. They looked at me as if I have gone mad. Hey, my little sister is missing, we're not in West Virginia, and I could swear that I saw a castle on a mountain.

"By yourself?" Jack asked. "What are you, nuts?! Take Mr. Clifton here with you if you plan on going out there."

The person in question had just woken up as Jack continued.

"Who knows who could be lurking around here. Looters? Tigers? Any other predators?"

"Take me with him to go where?"

We decided to fill Jeff in on the situation. Being the rambunctious person he is with shocking news, oddly, he took this pretty well and had decided to join up with me on our search for Brianna. He motioned me to go to the garage with him, so I did. I followed him to the back of his pickup truck. He opened the back and took off a tarp that was covering his tons of guns. Is this dude planning on starting a war?

"I was gonna take you and Jack out shooting to get to know you guys better, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. Ever used one o these before?"

"The only guns I've used shot either lasers, water, nerf darts, or beads."

With that said, he took the AK-47 while he gave me a Smith and Wesson handgun. I sure hope I wasn't going to have to use it. While I had good aim in laser tag, I wasn't a fan of being in life-threatening situations to the point where I needed to use it. I put that thought aside. The most important thing I needed to focus on was finding my lost sister. I checked the ammo.

Thinking back on it, Jack was right. We had no idea where we were, or what or who could be lurking out there in a world where castles could stay on the side of mountains without collapsing. Hiroto's going to have a field day when he finds the engineers who built it. But it's a castle. No one builds castles anymore, meaning the engineers are probably long dead. Maybe they have a book on whoever built it?

I'm getting off track. I need to focus. I followed behind Jeff. Our first place to look was the area nearby the planes. It was an open area. I looked out from in front of the house. There were woods in the distance. We walked towards the woods. Right on the outskirts, there were three pathways. The good news, we found shoe prints. Bad news, they were in the woods. I cocked my S&W and rushed in. Who knows how long she's been missing. Jeff followed behind me.

-Brianna's POV-

What was I thinking walking into a dark forest like this?! There could be bears, wolves, or worse, snakes! I can't remember how long I was out here but now I want to do one thing and one thing only. I want to go home! I'm scared, I'm lost, I'm hungry! This is nothing like girl scouts camping!

I just kept walking. I don't know where I'm going. I swore I passed a tree three times already, and it was really dark in here. Maybe if I keep walking, I'll find my way out. The woods can't go on forever, right? So I stopped thinking about it and kept walking forward. I kept walking, and walking until my feet got tired. I've never walked so much in my life. I've never been so scared in my life. What if I die here? My thoughts are interrupted by a growling, and it didn't come from me. The first thing I did was hide in a nearby bush. When I saw the yellow-green glowing eyes, I almost screamed, but I covered my mouth before i made any noise. Tears streamed down my face. It looked terrifying. A wolf made completely out of wood. It looked around for a while before moving on. I stayed there. I was not leaving that bush. I was going to die here. I was afraid. I tried to think of a way out of this. Maybe if I go to sleep, if something finds me, I won't feel anything when it eats me. With that said, I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep, eventually succeeding.

-Applejack's POV-

Today ain't over yet. Ah still had apples ta buck, n' apples to sell. Ah was on mah way to the barn when ah noticed somethin' a bit off in the distance.

"What in tarnation..."

Was that there buildin' always there? Ah may have ta check it out later after ah'm done with all mah work. Ah went on and headed back to mah barn.

-Fluttershy's POV-

I was behind my cottage taking care of my animal friends. I was just finished feeding my chicken Elizabeak when Chippers, my chipmonk friend, crawled up to me. It seemed urgent.

"What's that? An animal is injured in the forest?'

Chippers nodded his head in response.

"Oh dear! We have to help the poor thing. Please show me where it is."

With that, we were off. It didn't take long before we approached a small opening. Chippers then pointed to a bush.

"Is it in the bush?"

Chippers nodded again. So I reached in and felt something. Something breathing. I pulled it out and found out it was a clothed monkey. This was somepony's pet! What pony could be so cruel to cut its tail off and shave off most of its fur and just leave it here in the Everfree? I am going to find this pony and give him a piece of my mind, but first I need to take it back to the cottage. I then put the monkey on my back. It was heavier than the average monkey, but I managed to bring it back to my cottage without too much trouble.

Xavier's POV

Jeff and I have been searching for 3 hours. I looked at my watch and it showed 5:47pm. We found more prints, but they were hard to discover among all of these fallen leaves. We finally got to our destination, and by destination, we mean where the prints stopped. It stopped at a bush.

"Bri, are you in there?"

No answer. I moved the twigs out of the way until I had realized she wasn't here.

"Goddamnit!!!"

"We should head back." Jeff suggested. "It's starting to get dark. If these are like the woods at home, we don't want to be here. We have no flashlight."

That's when I thought of an idea. I pulled out my phone and used the light to light the way. Thank you, Cry of Fear. With this, I found more prints. One looked like that of a predator. Maybe she.... No! I shook that thought from my head. If that was the case, there'd be blood on the ground. I also saw more prints. They looked like circles. Great! Another lead!

"If you want to go back, go on ahead. I'm not going back without my sister."

"Alright. Just call me or Jack if you need anything, brother."

With that, we split up. He went in the direction in which we came, and I went a little further. That's when I saw the circular prints heading in one direction on a clearer path. Or was it going the other way. I didn't know, so I decided to depend on luck and 'Inni Minny Miney Mo' it, and it told me to head right. I followed the prints until I came across what seemed to be the forest entry. I looked at my watch. It was night. I looked in the distance and saw a small town. The roof looked like it was made out of hay or thatch or something. I didn't know what to think at fist, but I decided to check it out. I needed answers, and I needed it soon.

As I entered the town, I noticed it was almost barren. It was getting a bit cool. I'm glad I was wearing a hoodie. Something else I noticed about this atmosphere, though. It seemed to be better breathable. Almost as if John Egbert finally decided to swoop down from LoWAS and blow away the polluted air. No greenhouse gas build up, cooler weather. I liked the cold.

I put my hood up as I walked past the buildings. These were pretty shorter-than-usual buildings. This place looked like it was inhabited by the lollipop guild. Especially this one building that looked edible. I didn't lick the building at all to find out that it wasn't made out of candy and graham crackers. That was when I heard a whimper coming from behind me. I turned my head and I saw a small yellow horse with a red and pink-highlighted mane and tail looking at me with large eyes, her pupils the size of pinpricks, staring at me with a face that read 'pure horror'. I turned completely towards it before it gave a yelp and galloped away. Was that a flower on her rear?

I decided to ignore it. That was probably someone else's horse. The owner probably forgot to lock his/her door. Actually, it was too small to be called a horse. That was a pony. Not my problem. I continued to walk around the area more before he started to get tired. I walked out of the town on a path. I then realized that this was the same path I first found Brianna's footprints. At least I can follow this path back home.

-Third person-

When Xavier left the town, he didn't notice the yellow pony that had spotted him watching him leave her town along with 2 other ponies. "See? That hungry monster is trying to look for ponies to eat!"

"You're lucky it didn't catch you, Roseluck."

"Yeah. Right. I'm never ever ever walking out alone at night ever again."

Author's Note

That's it for Chapter 1. Thanks for reading. If you like it, hit that thumbs up. If not, please tell me what you don't like about it, and it might help me further on within the story.

Thanks for reading. :pinkiehappy:

Chapter 21: Fuckin shit up at the Grand Gallopin Gala

-Xavier's Recap-

Ever since Pinkie's party, I have made good effort to try to get along with Rarity. Fluttershy was starting to rest easy in knowing how hard I was trying. Each time the fashionista whined about dirt getting in her hair or getting on her hooves... To summarize it, I've grown the habit of biting my lips shut to refrain from yelling at her. Although I can't say I hate her anymore, I won't say that she will not be the target of my pranks. One time, Pinkie, Dash and I were at it again with our pranks with each of us picking our own target. I did the old shit-in-the-flaming-bag trick with Rarity. For an extra kick, I rigged the bag to explode, and she got covered in shit! I thought it'd be hilarious, but it didn't feel the same when I actually made her cry that time. I actually felt bad. I may have over did it... I needed help with dealing with my repressed emotions, so I asked Twilight and Fluttershy for help. Twilight went straight to her books while Fluttershy got me to help her animals. If I can have patience with the animals, then I'll have enough patience with any pet peeves. Well, that's what she told me. Twilight took time off her schedule to listen to the things that bothered me, and about Rarity. Of course I ended up telling her in greater detail about Samantha. It helps to have someone other than Jack to talk to. She is kinda my fillyfriend too. This went on for a few weeks. I actually felt like I was making progress.

I've also been making a lot of effort to spend some time with the kids. I've been hanging around with the Cutie Mark Crusaders/Gang just to hang out wit my little sis. I had noticed that since we've been here, I haven't really been hanging out with her as much as I did with her, and frankly I didn't want her to get the idea that I'm letting the pony girls separate us. One day, I even got bro to hang out with us too, and to loosen up. A bonus would be Jonathan's appreciation. He needed a break from being the only guy in the group. I was beginning to think that Spike should be hanging around the group as well, but he's too busy being Twi's 'number one assistant.' I told him that I'm sure he'd appreciate being around chicks all the time when he's older. For some reason, only Scootaloo knew what I meant by it. This was followed by a huge "EEEEEEW" from her. Maybe they can start hanging out in her room also after school instead of just that one small clubhouse. Just food for thought.

-End of Recap-

(Sunday April 23rd)

The very first thing I did when waking up was look at the calendar. I noticed a blue circle scribbled around today's date along with my gala ticket taped to the calendar. Oh right. Today's the day we go to Canterlot to attend this Grand Galloping Gala. What was I going to wear? Well, I had a navy blue suit, red shirt, and black tie in my closet, just waiting for me to break it out. After my morning routine, throwing on jeans and another hoodie, I went out to see what my little harem was up to. Jack was already gone. Besides, it's not like I had anything to do today. Human services were closed today for this very event.

My first stop was the Library. I just wanted to check in to see what Twilight was up to and if she needed any help getting ready for the gala. I knocked on the door, not even Spike answered. Next stop, I headed to Sugarcube Corner to see if Pinkie was there, and to maybe get some baked goods there. I was only half in luck. Pinkie had left to go somewhere. I thank Mrs. Cake and paid her for the granola bars. I then went to Fluttershy's cottage. Knowing her, she was probably still feeding the animals. When I got there, I knocked on the door...

...but nobody came...

Nearly giving up, I had decided to head over to Sweet Apple Acres, only to run into Jack on the way there. Apparently his gal isn't there. That could only mean one thing. I had a good idea where they were now. It's the place where I had attempted to avoid going to ever since we were abducted from Earth by a magic cloud. The fucking girliest merry-go-round I've ever had the displeasure of stepping through...

Fucking Rarity's...

Jack could read my facial expression. He knew I knew where they most likely were. He also knew how I felt about it. I guess if I wanted to try to be friends with Rarity like the others want me to, I guess I'd have to try my hardest to put the bad thoughts aside. And boy did I try. When we got there, we saw a giant apple-shaped carriage along with a pair of our clients, looking pretty love-struck for some reason.

"Hey Caramel, Lucky. Say, what're you two doing here pulling carriages?"

"Oh nothing, we're just doing a favor for Rarity." Oh goddammit... she fucking didn't...

Taking a deep breath, I sighed. "I'm sure she well appreciates what you're doing here." Poor saps don't know that they aren't gonna get any. I walked past the two and knocked on Rarity's door. Spike opened the door.

"Oh hey Xavier. Hey Jack. We were wondering when you were gonna show up." He looked around. "Where are the others?"

"They're either asleep or eating breakfast." Jack said.

"They're coming to the gala, don't worry. It's not until this evening." I reassured him.

"Well, now that you're here, come on in. I'll let the girls know you're here." Spike said. I 'attempted' to walk through the front door, but was sent flying back... by my own doing..

"Oh I'm sorry Spike, but it seems that every manly fiber in my body refuses to enter that building."

Spike just rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Tough crowd. But hey, I keep forgetting he's pretty much 'whipped' for Rarity. Jack laughed though.

"Haha! You'd sound just like Jeff if he was actually funny!"

I mustered enough strength to walk inside of the merry-go-round house and waited. Spike was getting a bit impatient after a while and attempted to get into the room with the girls.

"Spike, if there's one thing you should know about women is that they love taking all day prettying themselves up when they know guys are waiting."

Jack nodded his head in agreement. Spike left them alone. For the next few hours, we sat there waiting for the girls to be done with Spike talking about how him and Twilight were born and raised in Canterlot, and Twilight's library there. It was then that one of the girls called Spike in for something. When Spike came out, he sat back down.

"The girls said that they'd rather you see them at the gala first, so uh..."

"They want us to leave?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"NO! No. Not at all, but... well, yeah, they do."

Jack and I looked at each other. I gave a disappointed shrug that I had just sat there for ours for no reason. "Sure. Later Spike." We left and went back. Looking back at the apple buggy, there wasn't going to be enough room for all of us anyway. Guess we'll find our own way there. It was around noon when Jack and I left Rarity's. Jack went home to get his things together while I went to ask Lyra if she could watch the young ones. She wanted to, but she had plans today. She'd usually never pass up an opportunity to be in charge of little humans. I guess Hiroto's old enough to take charge. I was heading back home when I ran into Jack again. He told me that we were pretty much ready to go on to Canterlot.

"Already? Are we taking the train?"

Jack's grin grew wide. "Nope. We're taking the DJ Shade Mobile."

No....fucking.....way....

-no one's POV-

The girls arrived at the Gala that evening. This was the night that they have been patiently waiting for. There were carriages in front of them dropping off their clients. Spike, being the gentleman he is, opened the door of the giant apple-shaped buggy for Twilight and her friends. The way they looked had Spike on stun for a while.

"Woah! You all look amazing!"

Twilight beheld the sight before her. "I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this..." She didn't start singing like you thought she did. Something was missing. No. Someone was missing. Some people were missing.

"Hey! Where's Xavier and the humans?!" Rainbow asked. "They said they'd be here!"

"Ah dunno, but ah know they wouldn't just up and- ...ya'll hear that?"

Just then, a noise made everyone's head turn. They started to hear music.

The girls saw a black polished self-propelling buggy drive up to where the ponies were being dropped off. It had neon blue lights glowing below it, and the lights infront of it glowed a light blue in front of it. The buggy parked itself on the grass. The four doors opened up and the four humans stepped out, all wearing suits. Xavier wearing a navy blue suit, dark red shirt and a black tie, Traevon wearing Navy Blue, a dark blue shirt and a teal tie, Jack wearing a black suit and tie with a purple shirt and a black vest. Jeff wore a black suit and a green shirt. All of them were wearing shades, and were standing there facing the girls, lined up side by side with their arms crossed, as if they just finished giving the girls a show with their entrance.

The reactions on the mare's faces were priceless. They weren't even sure if these were the humans they knew from Ponyville anymore. Rarity's mouth dropped, Twilight just stared in awe, Fluttershy showed mixed emotions from intimidated to fascination. With her wings now flared, Rainbow had a huge blush and a cheery grin on her face, blabbering "So cool" as Xavier flashed her and Twilight a sly smirk. Applejack was staring at her boyfriend the entire time. Of course, needless to say, this attracted attention from everyone else as well. The four humans were drawing in a crowd. Their flyness drew attention to other mares too.

-Xavier's POV-

Being hugged by Rainbow, I noticed we were starting to draw a crowd. Rainbow was glaring at the other mares fiercely.

"Monkey boy is mine! Get your own cool human, whorses!" I couldn't help but chuckle at this when the mares started staring at the others.

"He's mine too, you know."

"I'd like to think both of you are mine." I told them both. "You both look positively stunning on this fine night. I can see why you wanted me to wait." This made my two mares blush.

"Well, you look pretty dashing yourself."

"Can't spell 'dashing' without Dash." Dash commented.

"Calm down Skittles. We have a Gala to go to."

"I'll park the car." said bro.

Jeff stayed with Bro when he parked the car, if anything to get away from the crowd.

"So uh... that's one of those self propelling buggy that you were talking about?" Twilight asked while watching the car get parked.

"It's called a car. We'll show you how it works when we get back. And hey, maybe we'll give you a ride if you're all good girls, and also if bro lets us. Heh, back at home, he'd never let me ride in it. He thought I'd break something or whatever."

They both giggled. "That'll be an interesting experience."

"I guess it would be."

"Now that you're all here, this will be the best night ever!" then Twilight started singing. "At the gala, at the gala-" I noticed complete strangers joining in her little song. Ponies... I guess this is something they do that I would never get used to. Then everypony started singing. Heck, at some point in their song, they looked at us expecting me to join in. Only one of the four of us did, and you can take a wild guess who. Twi sung about being with her mentor, Rainbow about meeting the Wonderbolts, Fluttershy about the animals in the gardens, Rarity about meeting some prince to marry, Applejack of course selling her baked apple goods Don't ask me how she fit her stand in that carriage. I don't know. My guess? Magic. Jack sung about staying with Applejack and meeting new people. Jack, you're giving me a headache.

After their little song ended, the girls went their separate ways leaving poor Spike all by himself.

"Don't worry, Spike. You can hang out with me." I told him. "Or with Jack. I don't think he'd mind a third wheel tagging along."

"Aren't you gonna hang with Rainbow or Twilight?" Spike asked.

"Maybe a little bit, but another thing to know about dating, girls need their space." I said, looking at Twilight and the Princess talking. I guess I could at the very least greet the princess in thanks for the invitations. I walked up to her. "Sup Princess?"

"Greetings, my little human friends."

"Heheh. I guess that's what you're calling us now? I guess that's alright."

"Did all of you come? I can understand why some of you wouldn't after what happened earlier today."

She's indirectly asking if bro came. "...Yes. Bro is here."

"Wait... What happened earlier today?" Twilight asked.

"I'll tell ya after the party." I responded. Bro walked in shortly after. "Well, here comes your crush, Princess." I joked. "Anyway, I'm gonna go wander around with Spike here." I gave Twilight a quick kiss, to the surprise of the Princess and every pony that saw it, and left them. I could hear Pinkie singing from the ball room. She was that loud. Poor dancers. I came across the gardens where i found Fluttershy chasing a bird, and Rarity with a blond-maned white stallion. I hope that stallion doesn't end up whipped too...

"Well hello. I am Prince Blueblood." the stallion greeted. A goddamn prince, whipped by Rarity.

"I am Rarity." She had her eyes on a rose in the garden. "Oh my... What a wonderful rose." I held my breath at the amount of ridiculousness of the situation. Even Spike was growing uneasy albeit for different reasons.

"You mean this one?" The prince picked the flower and seemingly hoofed it to her. Oh my god this couldn't scream 'cliche' loud enough! Before Rarity could take it, he yanked it away from her and put it on his suit. "Thank you! It goes with my eyes."

"HEHEHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! Ow..." Spike had elbowed my leg. I earned a glare from Rarity. The prince raised a brow at me before trotting off. Heheh, that prince is okay in my books. I thought about checking on Fluttershy next, but thought better of it. I'd probably scare the animals away. I didn't feel like being around Pinkie at the moment. I met up with Jack and he said AJ's doing fine without him. Guess she needs her space too. I went to find Rarity again just for shits and giggles. I found her and the prince around the outside picnic area. Blueblood set down a pillow in between them two. Of course, Rarity thought he was setting it down for her to sit on, but NOPE! This stallion wasn't gonna be having any of that gentleman crap. That pillow was meant for him to sit on, and he let her know that.

Another chuckle and an elbow to the leg later. I decided to go check on Rainbow. I figured she'd still be with the Wonderbolts. When I found her, I saw her catching an earth pony stallion who was flying in the air. She looked proud for a moment, but frustrated next. I'll go talk to her.

"Hey! Skittles! Over here!" I waved at her. She saw and came trotting towards me. "How's your night going so far."

"Terrible! Atleast somepony notices me."

"What's the matter?"

"I came here to spend more time with the Wonderbolts but it seems like they're too busy with everypony else!" I would've told her how she doesn't own the Wonderbolts and that they are public performers for everyone else to get to meet, but I see she needed support. I decided to inflate her ego.

"Eh, well, you're out of their league."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're amazing! Not only can you do awesome stunts, you can do the Sonic Rainboom, you have a rad personality, you're also a great cuddler," I went on for a few minutes about everything I like about her. It seemed to brighten up her night.

"Heheh, alright I get it." She giggled. "Thanks."

"Miss Rarity! Stop!" I turned my head to see the source of the warning. The prince had his fore leg over Rarity, stopping her from walking over a puddle of spilled drink.

"Oh Prince Blueblood, how chivalrous of you."

"One would hate to slip on such a puddle."

"Yes, one most certainly would."

"One's cloak should take care of the problem." He looked at her.

"Oh of course it will." She replied. He was still looking at her. I think she got the message, albeit an unpleasant one. I don't like Rarity, but I know how hard she worked on her outfit, and that guy wanted her to ruin it to keep his hooves dry? Not on my watch.

"Rarity, don't you dare!" I called out, gathering everyone's attention. "If you hate your work so bad, go on ahead. If you have pride in your outfit along with common sense, walk around that small puddle."

"You are absolutely right!" Rarity said, stepping around the puddle. "And to think I almost ruined a perfectly good cloak." The prince wasn't very happy with me. He trotted up to me glaring, but went back to following Rarity. Yeah, keep walkin, jackass.

"Woah! This is new. You actually helped Rarity. You stood up for her." Rainbow said from behind. "I'm actually impressed."

"Well, although Rarity can seem a bit self centered and self entitled, this guy thinks he's superior just because of a fucking title." I looked to where the prince and Rarity walked off to. They were stuck at a door, gesturing each other to open the door. "Oh for Christ's sake!" I walked over to them and yanked the door open for them. "You both can't open a fucking door?" They both walked through, Rarity glaring at the prince while the prince glared at me again. I narrowed my eyes at him, daring him to say something.

Pinkie started singing from the ballroom. It sounded similar to the hokey pokey, but I guess a pony version. Jack had went back to check up on his filly friend. Spike had urged me to chaperon the prince and Rarity, and frankly, Dash didn't really need me to cheer her up anymore. She went from being annoyed at the lack of attention, to just trying to enjoy the party in general. Eventually, the four of us came across Applejack's stand. It didn't look like she sold many of her baked goods. I loved the smell.

"Two apple fritters please." Rarity said.

"Two apple fritters comin' right up." Applejack said. Jack got two of the apple fritters for her and handed them to us.

"Four cents." Jack said.

"Bits." AJ corrected.

Once again, Rarity and Blueblood started gesturing again. Having enough of it, Rarity gave up. "I'm going to have to pay, aren't I?"

I got this. I handed Jack four bits. Both Rarity and Applejack shared the same surprised look Rainbow did. "Well ah'll be."

"Why thank you Xavier darling! I-I don't know what to say, but at least somepony's a gentleman around here."

"I'm not a gentleman, Rarity. You know that."

"You have told me that many times, yes, but thanks anyway."

Blueblood took a bite out of the baked treat but spat it out. "Fritters?! Dumplings?! Caramel apples?!? My royal lips have touched carnival fare!" He walked off and dropped the fritter on the ground.

"Well no wonder ponies ain't buyin mah apples. They're fillin up on them fancy-schmancy vittles!"

"Maybe you could make something creative and pretty it up like the rest of these snooty ponies..."

I picked up the drop fritter. I think I'll save this for later...

"Ya ain't gonna eat that are ya?" Applejack asked. "Ah can bake ya another one."

"No thanks." This dirty fritter has one last use left.

I went back to the ball room to check on Dash to see if she was faring well. She seemed to be talking to a couple of mares. Pinkie had turntables running while she was harassing the crowd. I don't think this is that type of party, Pinkie...

"Hey Xavier!" Huh? "Xavier! Over here!"

I turned to see Lyra. "Hey! You're here! I guess this is why you couldn't sit in for the kids?"

"Yeah.. Sorry. I would've called out to you earlier when you got out of your cool buggy." She blushed hard. "I really did... but this was a chance to catch up with a couple of friends I haven't seen in ages!"

"It's cool, Lyra. Relax. Let's just enjoy the party." We did. We talked for a bit. Soon the prince entered the ballroom followed by a displeased Rarity. The same time AJ rolled in a stacked cake on a serving table. As if the world was mad at them, Pinkie did a stage dive, landing on the edge of the table, sending the cake flying in our direction. The incompatible pair shrieked at the incoming dessert. That's when it happened. Rarity was grabbed by the prince and was about to be used as his shield.

Oh hell no.

I snatched Rarity out of the way and let the cake smack straight into Prince Blueblood, who in turned, shrieked like a little girl which got everyone's attention. After he spent a little while looking over the mess that was all over him in disbelief, he gave me his biggest glare yet. "How DARE you?! Miss Rarity! Your pet monkey needs to be disciplined or put down! It is a menace!"

Rarity gasped while Rainbow flew in his face. "Hey! First of all, only I get to call him a monkey! Second of all, he's not a monkey! He's a human!"

"And third of all, he's more disciplined and a better stallion than you'll ever be, you poor excuse for a prince!" yelled Rarity. His mouth was wide open.

"Oh. And you forgot something." I said, pulling out a piece of his now-dirty fritter. I broke it in half, shoving half of it in his mouth, and rubbing the other half in his mane at the same time. The entire room gasped. "Oh sorry! I'm a stupid monkey. I don't know any better." He shrieked, stumbling around and accidentally knocked over a golden statue. Rainbow caught it, but under the weight of it, she domino'd several pillars. The worst happened when Fluttershy chased all of the animals into the ballroom, screaming.

Twilight, the princess, and my bro walked in. He 'nope'd, making a 180 and skedaddled out of there. I picked up Lyra and Rarity, carrying them out of the ballroom full of panicking animals and ponies. The girls and the rest of the humans followed. The girls dresses were a mess, and frankly I felt really bad for Rarity. This was her hard work and it got ruined. Not only that but now I started to feel like a complete ass for the way I have been treating her all this time. Maybe all it took for me to realize it was seeing someone else mistreat her for me to realize that she's not even a remotely bad person... or pony...whatever! Flawed, yes, but aren't we all?

Spike suggested we all go spend the rest of the event at Donut Joe's. Celestia said that she wouldn't mind opening up a few rooms in her palace for us, but we had things to do the next day. Celestia had got herself a few donuts when Twilight asked a question.

"Hey Xavier, now that the gala is over, can you tell us what the princess was talking about earlier?"

"What?"

"She apologized for something that happened before the gala."

"Ooooooh... That.."

-Flashback-

We had parked near the city entrance. Since ponies didn't have cars, we weren't sure if they had any parking spaces, so we ended up having the car sit along side the trail there, not too far from the city, but against the mountain so it wouldn't be anywhere near the edge. Bro still loved that DJ Shade Mobile. It cost him a lot of money to get it modified and accessorized to his liking. He didn't want anything to happen to it now, especially since auto-repair shops don't exist in this world yet.

Inside of the city, we got a few stares and disgusted looks. A grin grew on my face, but the look bro was giving me told me to not even think about it. Too late. While we were walking through the staring ponies, not a sound was made but our footsteps. There were a few whimpers and yelps from the ponies that decided to run for it. I couldn't help but smile. Eventually, we heard several hoof steps from around a corner. A dozen guards in golden clad armor were running towards us. They had us surrounded. The ponies seemed calm now that the guards 'seemingly' had the situation under control. A few of them got smug. We were hearing a few stallions and mares tell the guards to throw us in a dungeon until we rot or to throw us in whatever jungle we came from. One of them demanded for us to be killed right on the spot. That's a bit much, don't yo think? They held their spears in our faces with their magic grip. Pointy...

"They're monsters! It's your duty to defeat them!"

Unfortunately, one of the guards bought it and thrust his spear at us. Unfortunately for all of them, they nicked Jeff. Jeff had grabbed the spear from the guard's magical grip and slammed he non-sharp end against the side of his head. That's when all hell broke loose.

The ponies were all cheering on the guards for our defeat. However, I noticed something. These guards were sloppy. Almost as if they had inefficient training and experience. The way they simply tried to just stab us with just the tip... That's not how to use a spear. However, one of them managed to nick bro's neck. That was their second mistake. Now it's time for me to show you how to really use one! I grabbed another spear and swung at a few of the guards. One of them I knocked out in one hit. The other one was different. He was a bit larger and wearing purple. What really caught my attention was his emblem. It was way too similar to Twilight's cutie mark.

"Fight me monster!" He demanded.

"That emblem. It's similar to Twilight's... know her?"

The expression on his face. It went from curiosity, to shock, and to anger and hatred. His horn flared and his spear raised.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU DEMON!!" He had made multiple rapid attempts to impale me with his spear. My agility outdid his speed however. I dodged each blow. I grabbed his spear too, but he kept it in his magical grip. He was struggling. I took the opportunity to wack him a few times with the spear in my other hand. He tried to blast me, but it only pushed me back a bit. He lunged his spear at me again, but I just dodged it and got close again, kicking him in the face. A few of the other guards that weren't knocked out already noticed this. The purple armor guard didn't stay down however. He got back up. I can take one and two. Not three or four. I turned tail and ran with those in tow. There wasn't a lot of guards left behind for the others to fight. I came across the palace gates. I could hear Purple Armor giving orders to surround me and cut me off. He told one of them however, to alert the princesses. That's it! I looked for a way over the gate entrance. I ran until I saw an arched part in the gate, telling me that was the entrance. Better yet, one of the buildings were tall enough for me to jump over it. However, even in this moment, my inner troll told me to wait until they thought they had me.

"Stop right there, beast!" Purple Armor commanded. I did as he said. "Good. You can listen." His guards had me surrounded. "If you surrender, maybe I'll have mercy on you and your monster buddies and have you thrown in the dungeon for eternity." I held my hands up. "I take that as a surrender."

"Nope!" I yelled. I ran inbetween two of the buildings, wall-jumping until I got on top of the slightly taller one and then spin flipped over the arch in the gate and Purple Armor. I landed right on the otherside and started running. I turned around to run backwards while flipping them both the double birdies, grinning. "It's what we humans like to call, parkour!" Before I could enter the palace however, the door bursted open, knocking me down. What came through I didn't expect.

A dark night-blue alicorn. Yes. Another alicorn. She wasn't as big as Celestia. The dark crown on her head told me that she was also a princess. and like Celestia, her mane was flowing but with stars instead of tri-colored. She wasn't alone. She had a dozen guards. A few of them were dark blue with bat wings and black armor. They had fangs... Her wings flared at me, before she quietly told me...

"THOU HAST BEST STAY DOWN IF THOUST KNOW WHAT TIS GOOD FOR YE!" Okay, maybe not so quiet.

"No thanks." I rolled away from her and got up. Purple and his guards were already through the gates and started firing bolts at chucking spears at me. I pulled up my hood, picked up a spear with one hand and pulled out my gun with the other. Things just got serious. I was dodging left and right. When they ran out of stuff to throw, her guards came after me. They were much faster than their golden-armored counterparts. I was outnumbered. I was now desperate. I didn't want to kill anyone, but they're not leaving me much option. I aimed my gun and fired on one of them, hitting the foreleg. Purple and the new alicorn looked in shock as one of her bat-winged guards hit the ground, holding his wounded limb. The other one charged after me.

"NIGHT STAR! GET BEHIND THYSELF!!!"

The bat guard did as told.

"I SHALL HANDLE THE BEAST THYSELF!!!" She flew and landed in front of me. "DOES THOU FOUL BEAST HAVE ANY LAST WORDS TO SPEAK?! IF SO, SPEAK THEM NOW!!"

"One. Volume control. I'm standing right here. Two. Where's Celestia?"

"THAT IS PRINCESS CELESTIA TO YOU! THOU SHALT SPEAK HER NAME WITH RESPECT, CREATURE!" Her horn started to glow, and I was lifted. She couldn't lift me more than a few inches off of the ground. "WHAT IN THY MOTHER'S NAME-"

"LULU! STOP IT THIS INSTANT AND PUT THE HUMAN DOWN!!" a familiar voice called. Celestia landed behind the blue alicorn with a stern look on her face.

"Lulu?" I smirked.

"THOU WOULD BEST REMAIN SILENT, CREATURE!" Lulu warned, a bit embarrassed at something.

I ignored her. "Hey Celly!" I waved.

"Hello my little human friend."

"Tia... Does thou knowest this creature?!" Lulu asked.

"Yes, I do. Now if you'd please put him down. You are using up a lot of your magic by holding him, and he doesn't like to be held that way."

"THIS CREATURE HAS WOUNDED ONE OF THY GUARDS!!"

"In my defense, it was your guards that were after my blood. If I actually wanted to kill, I would've aimed between the eyes."

Purple Armor was shocked and a bit disturbed when he heard this. He didn't even know about the gun.

"Yes, Mr. Purple Armor, this means I could have killed you at any time had I intended to do so. But I guess that makes me a poor excuse for a monster, right?"

"J-Just stay away from Twilight, beast!"

"Captain Shining Armor, he is one of Twilight Sparkle's friends." I chuckled at Celestia's words. I'm more than that Celly. "Also, I'm giving the order to all Royal Guards. The humans are not to be harmed unless I say otherwise."

"Tia!"

"He's not a dangerous creature, Lulu, and he's quite young. He's 20 and his friends and brother aren't much older."

"Well gee, you make us sound like teenage brats." I commented. "Anyway, we all acted in self defense. My bro's head was almost taken off by one of Shining Armor's men." Then it hit me. I looked at Purple Armor. "Wait... Shining Armor? That's your name?"

Shining Armor glared at me. "It's Captain Shining Armor to y-"

"PBTPHAAAHAAHAAAHAAHAA!!!"

-Flashback ended-

When I stopped telling the story at the part where I was laughing at Shining Armor's name, Jeff and Jack were laughing along with me. The girls either didn't get it, or didn't think it was funny. I know Twilight didn't. Jeff had to explain that his name came from a saying "Knight in Shining Armor" and how the term derived from a knight who saves a damsel in distress to a 'white knight' whipped male that would irrationally defend a female regardless of who's right or wrong.

"Hey Jack, I think you and Shining Armor would get along pretty well." I looked at Twilight. "Who is he anyway? You two know each other."

"That was my brother you kicked in the face." Twilight said, trying not to shout.

"You have a brother in the royal guards?!" The girls said in unison.

"Remember! Self defense! Anyway, this Fancy Pants person vouched that we hadn't really did anything wrong before a Jet Set guy encouraged one of 'em to cut Jeff."

"I've never kicked that many asses in one day!" Jack cheered.

"Yeah, I don't mean to insult the guards or anything,but they were kinda weak. It took one of the princesses and a lot of the guards to stop me. On Earth, it would've only taken one to four people to stop us."

"Ah can't believe ya'll dun took on the entire guards!"

"I doubt that was all of the guards they threw at us, but when the guards just try to only impale you, and they keep aiming their bolts where you are instead of where you're headed, that says a lot about their competence. That's why Equestria needs video games. Or atleast moving target practice.

Jeff laughed. "Get this! Sunbutt here asked if we could join the guards!"

"Yeah. No thanks. Not really interested. Those guys probably hate us, and even if they didn't, our home is in Ponyville. You know, the town that doesn't have a lot of posh nobles who love the smell of their own farts, ei the ones that ordered the guards to kill us without even knowing what we were or why we were there." I said. Spike laughed at the fart joke, which earned him a look from Twilight.

"Well, in a way, I'm glad that it happened." Celestia told us. Me and the other humans in the group looked like her as if she lost it.

"Explain."

"Well, you did reveal to us how unprepared and under-trained our guards are. Since we've been a nation at peace for thousands of years, there's only been minor incidents. The guards since then have been idle. If an invasion had happened, we would be in trouble. Not even the elements would be able to save us."

Bro scoffed a little. "Well, I'm glad we were able to be of service, but next time, at least warn the guards next time."

"Yes. My apologies, Mr. Roberts." Celly apologized. "I'll see to it that the guards won't give you any more trouble when we're on good terms."

Twilight said she forgives me because I showed restraint and didn't kill her brother. Speaking of... "Hey, Celestia, can you promise to not tell Shining Armor about me and Twi uh... seeing each other? He probably hates me now, and I wanna see his reaction when he finds out himself." Jack caught on to what I was doing and he shared the same grin. I thought Twilight would object to my shenanigans like she usually does, but I guess she was either curious or was having one of those 'troll the siblings' moment. Or maybe Jack and I were rubbing off on her a little.

Trollestia loved a good prank. She was cool with it. "Very well."

"How is your sister by the way? The last thing she said to me was something around the words of "Ye may hath thy sister fooled into believing your deception, but thy will keep an eye on thee through thoust dreams, creature!" Or something along those lines. What's with that?"

"Don't worry about Lulu. She can walk through the dreams of our subjects, but usually to prevent nightmares. It's called dream-walking."

So... she's going to try to infiltrate my dreams, is she? "Good to know."

We spent the rest of the time there eating donuts and talking. Eventually, Celestia had to go because the next day would be a busy day for her, and she had a mess to help clean up. I have no Idea what it's like being a princess or even royalty here, but it sounds like a drag based on how she told us. Soon, it was past time to return to Ponyville. The ruckus with all of the animals running around the gala had scared all of the buggies away, including the six's. We had to see how we could fit 4 humans, six ponies, and a dragon in one car. Spike sat on Jeff's lap in the passenger seat (Ironic that now it's the youngest one sitting up front). Rainbow sat on mine while Twi sat in the middle beside me. Pinkie and Rarity ended up squeezing themselves infront of Twilight and Jack, who sat on the opposite side with AJ on his lap (of course). Twilight was the most excited.

"Yesyesyesyes! I can't believe we're riding in what's probably the most advanced vehicle in Equestria!"

"Twi. Please try to calm down. You're more bouncy than Pinkie on a normal day."

"Heeey!" Pinkie chuckled at my little attack.

When Twi started to calm down, bro told everyone to 'buckle up so we don't end up flying through the windshield like Hugh Jackman during the first X-Men movie. As soon as the car started, the feint internal blue lights came on and everyone jumped. I couldn't see where Fluttershy was, probably up front, but I could hear her eep-ing and whimpering.

"W-what was that?!"

"Calm down everyone. It's just the engine. The thing that runs the car. Jack! Help me out here!"

Jack just shook his head and kept watching.

"Hey bro. Got any good tunes to calm the mares?"

"Sure lil bro." I always hated it when he called me that in front of company. Dash, Pinkie and Rarity chuckled at my embarrassing moment.

Bro really loves BoeBoe.

The girls seemed to be enjoying it. They didn't even notice we're moving until I pointed it out. The girls stared out the window in awe as we cruised home in the night. We were already half way there and I was starting to fall asleep. A hoof bopped me in the nose. When I looked, not only was Spike and most of the ponies asleep, but I saw Rainbow giving me the bedroom eyes.

"Not in the car, Skittles."

"Why not?"

"Well one, it's cramped in here. Two, we don't want bro flipping out if 'one thing leads to another.'"

"That's right." Trae said.

"And I'm pretty sure Jeff would be stating his objections throughout the entire thing, and that'd ruin the mood."

"You're damn right I would." Jeff said.

"Fine."

When we got back to Ponyville, it was really late. Most of us were tired. Most of the girls went home, save for Rainbow, Twilight and Spike. They were going to stay with us. I stopped Rarity however.

"Hey Rarity. I wanna talk to you a little bit. One on one?"

"Of course, darling. What is it?"

"I just wanna apologize for how I've been treating you. I let your posh demeanor and my past get in the way of getting to know all of you instead of giving you a fair chance."

"Oh don't you worry about a thing, Xavier. You showed your true colors to me tonight. You may not be a gentleman, but you were my knight in shining armor." She said, batting her eyes at me.

"No.. one, don't call me that. Two, that's the thing... It took you being treated like crap by someone who's more of an ass than anyone to realize how I've been treating you. You didn't deserve it, and I'm more than happy to admit to my wrong-doings."

"Very well, but I've already forgiven you, my dear."

"I think I'm ready to call you a good friend. You've been a good friend to the others."

"Enough of that, darling. I forgive you. I accept your apology. You don't have to grovel at my hooves or anything. Let bygones be bygones. Water under the bridge."

"Sure." I was about to walk in my home when I was hugged from behind by Rarity.

"But thank you. This really does mean a lot."

"No problem." I turned to return the hug.

After that, she went on her way and I went back inside my home. Everyone was either tired or already asleep. Spike slept with Jonathan and Hiroto. Rainbow and Twi decided to sleep with theirs truly until the next morning. There were lots of cuddling. Eventually, they cuddled me until they tired themselves out. Amidst Rainbow's snoring, I stared up at the ceiling to recall everything that has happened. How my first foe here became a lover. How I became friends with some of the most important ponies in Equestria. How I overcame my dislike for Rarity.

I wish mom and dad could see us now.

Author's Note

That's it for Chapter 21 which marks the end for Season 1. I find it amazing that I had managed to finish an entire season in four months. With how I type, I thought I'd be done with Season 1 in the middle of the summer.

I made a blog asking if I should either continue the rest of the seasons on 7 Human in Ponyland, or if I should mark this as finished and make a sequel containing the rest of the seasons called 7 Humans in Equestria.

Anyway, let me know what you think about this chapter and help me decide.

Leave a thumbs up if you liked it and leave a comment. Don't forget to visit my blog and leave a comment. 7HiP or 7HiE?

S3 Chapter 6: Jack's First Apple Family Reunion

-Jack's Recap-

The rest of the camping trip went nice. My lil bro and Scoots had a little adorable moment one night as evidenced by Xavier, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say that filly has a crush on lil Jonny. Whatever the case, I made sure to set it as my phone wallpaper.

About a week later, Spike almost got munched on by a Timberwolf. Thankfully, Jeff was around doing who knows what with his makeshift flamethrower, which everyone is wondering why he has it. Seriously, it's dangerous. Where does he keep that thing? Hopefully no where near the house. One of these days he's gonna burn his eyebrows off with it and I'm gonna laugh. And then I'm gonna run.

Anyway, Spike was following him along all day asking for favors, and of course, Jeff gave the 'Jeff responses' which consisted of:

1) "Fuck off."

2) "Shut the hell up."

3) "Don't you have a prissy curly-haired harlot wannabe to fawn over?"

Eventually, Jeff thought of an idea. He 'made a man' out of the lil dude. He has an alter ego now.

Savage Spike.

The guys thought it was hilarious. Twilight and Rarity on the other hand, looked pretty friggin annoyed. Let's just say they were glad it was a quick phase. It may or may not have had anything to do with Rarity ignoring 'Savage Spike.' Turns out, that's not the kind of thing that Rarity looks for in a guy.

-End of Recap-

-Jack's POV-

It was a pretty average morning. I'd wake up, say hey to my friends and my lil bros. After breakfast, I looked to see if there were any jobs I could do before it hit me. A few days ago, Applejack wanted to see if the other guys could help take over on my end as she needed my help with a big project. Of course, Xavier owed me a few favors, so I called him for it. So there we were on our way to Sweet Apple Acres. Him not being an early morning person, he walked in silence for the most part, but soon we got there.

"Howdy Jack!" I heard a high pitch voice. "What're you and Xavier doin' over here so early?" Applebloom said, coming out of her tree house.

"I owe Jack a few solids..." Xavier groggily said.

"Aw well ya should work on the farm more often. Ya get used ta wakin up this our a mornin'."

I turned and knelt down in front of Applebloom, and she gave a 'squee' and hopped on my back. "Xavier's just like this at this time of hour."

As I approached SAA's barn, I saw my fillyfriend hard at work with planning. Big Mac was pulling barrels on a cart. I decided to take a closer look at what AJ was really doing. She seemed to be focused on a list. "G'mornin Applebutt." I called out.

"Howdy hun. Ah see ya got yerself an extra pair o' hands there." AJ said, nodding at my friend. "Thank ya kindly, Xavier. Don't think I'd ever see ya up this early." Xavier didn't say anything back, but gave her an annoyed look. "Ahm sure Big Mac'll appreciate ya givin him a hand, and it'll get ya in the mornin spirit."

"I'll mornin spirit my foot in your arssnmg-.." He grumbled under his breath as he walked off towards where Big Mac went.

Applejack frowned at Xavier while I looked at her list. "So what're we lookin at, here?"

"Oh these are mah ideas for the Apple Family Reunion." I took a look at the list. "Ah've been thinkin o' ways to make this the best family reunion ever." She stated. She thought for a moment before looking up at me. "Say, ya got any good ideas fer a family reunion? Any ideas from a human?"

I shrugged."Nope.. I got nothin. Gonna be honest, my parents don't really keep in touch with our distant family members outside of our grandparents." I pointed to Xavier. "Him and his family on the other hand, his mom's side keeps in touch with each other. You should ask him."

Applejack shook her head. "Ah don't think that's a good idea, hun." I didn't need to look at him to agree with her. "Ah'm takin charge of settin things up. Just lookin fer a second head for creativity."

"I can get Trae if you want. I'm sure he's a morning dude." I offered.

Applejack nodded. "Mighty good thinkin'."

As I walked off, I couldn't help but feeling a burning glare on the back of my head. Figuratively, not literally. I shrugged. I'll be back.

I headed back to SAA and saw that we had another pair of hooves helping out along with a set of wings. Because of this, Xavier was in a better mood.

"Heya Rainbow. Glad ya stopped by to help out." I called out, laughing.

She waved. "Hey Jack. Just helpin my grumpy monkey not be so grumpy." She said, nuzzling Xavier. He seemed to be in a better mood if only by a slight as she helped him carry things. "If you're looking for Applejack, she left for town to gather more materials. She'll be back any moment now."

I nodded. "Alright. Keep up the good work you two."

Leaving the two alone, I noticed Applejack returning from her trip, but covered in golden glitter. Not being able to help but laugh, I walked over to her.

"Looks like I have a golden apple, and I'm not even playin Minecraft."

"Hun." She said, still covered in the golden glitter.

"I bet you're livin your life like it's golden."

"Hun." She repeated, getting a bit annoyed.

"Unless you're foolin me. Haha, get it? It's becau-"

"Hun, would ya mind?!" She cut me off. "Can yah help me get this goshdarn glitter off?"

"Sure, but tell me, who decided to give you the gold experience?" I asked.

She glanced towards the town. "Pinkie." I made note to stop by her place sometime. "So, got any ideas from Trae?"

"Yeah, he just said to set up areas for adults to hang and for kids to play and just cook and mingle. Like a cook out."

Applejack looked at me puzzled. "That's it?" I shrugged and nodded my head.

That's pretty much all Xavier and Trae's family did during their family reunions. "I guess it's just the fact that they're together and havin fun that matters."

"What 'bout makin special memories? And makin sure each moment is better than the last?" Okay, she's definitely thinking about this way too hard.

"Tch! I guess that is the special memories. Nothin gotta be perfect, ya dig?" I laughed, grabbing a bucket of water and throwing it on her. "Geez, you're sounding like Twilight."

She laughed as she was splashed. "Hey now, we need that."

"Relax, we can just have RD bring a small raincloud to fill it up again." I told her. I patted her head after she shook herself dry. Hours later with the help of some of our friends, we were almost done with the preperations. A few of Applejacks ideas had to be rehashed because the child games she had came up with were pretty tedius and well, something no boy, girl, colt or filly would want to do. I mean, running around trees until you're dizzy? Balancing a plate on your nose while tongue twisting? Who the fuck comes up with this shit? Also had managed to convince Applejack that the elderly wouldn't do well with operating machines very well, using the exaggeated analogy of a caveman trying to operate a 3D printer. And the noise was like a train on train tracks. Last I checked, the elderly prefers quiet.

Soon, it was getting dark. We were all done with preperations. Well, for the most part. We hadn't really had much replacement activities, but Xavier said he'd come up with a few things before he and Dash headed home. I had decided to stay with the Apples for this night in case they needed any last minute preparations in the morning. Not only that, but nothing beats a good ol' fashioned country breakfast in the morning. Though I miss bacon. I miss bacon so much...

After a long day, I had made my way to the guest bed room when Applejack had tapped my hip.

"Mah room is this way." She pointed to her door.

I shook my head. "Not tonight, AJ. Maybe if we were under the human roof, but your siblings and granny are kinda nearby."

AJ smiled. "Ah understand." She reared up and pecked me on the cheek before heading to her room. "Night, hun."

I continued to the guest room and flopped on the guest bed that surely wasn't fitting for a human. It was a busy day and I was exhausted. Sleep came pretty quick.

The next morning wasn't as busy as I thought it would be. Woke up to the smell of baked cinnamon apples, eggs, and crispy hay bacon, only 2 out of 3 I actually enjoyed. Though watching them eat the later reminded me on why I didn't spend many nights there. Living off of eggs and fish for the past year or two and then seeing ponies eat anything resembling.... bacon. Applejack must've saw me staring.

She chuckled. "An' here Ah thought ya humans didn't eat hay. 'Ere." She forked over a strip of hay bacon. I stared for a moment as the entire table stared at me, watching. I grabbed it and took a bite.

I have no idea what else I was expecting. Applebloom and Granny Smith were giggling at the munched up face of disgust I was showing.

"Nope... Humans... don't eat hay." I said after bringing a napkin up to my mouth to spit it out. "Just been ages since I had the real stuff."

"Bacon made out of pig meat?" AJ asked. I nodded. After years of getting to understand one another, the ponies seem to become more understanding of us humans Applejack had thought Granny Smith was gonna have her kick me to the curb when she found out about what we ate, but there are quite a few civilized races here other than ponies that are carnivores. I grew a bit understanding of why meat isn't on the market here as well.

Ponies do not like killing creatures and don't really have much of a need to as herbavores, so it fell on us to find our own sources of meat. ...Other than the fish Fluttershy provides us. Only one species we felt comfortable touching that wasn't made of wood or friends with the shy peg.

"Jeff's got a bit lazy with hunting cockatrice recently." I explained. "I'd tell him to stop being a lazy ass fetch us some grub, but I'm not lookin for trouble."

"Ya best be watchin yer language 'ere around the young'uns, mister!" Granny Smith warned. Right. Applebloom...

"My bad. Anyway, is everything set up for the reunion?"

Big Mac nodded. "Eeyup."

After breakfast, we did our own thing as we waited for relatives to arrive. They did and wow were they a lot of 'em. I saw a few familiar faces. They were the only ones that weren't giving me funny looks. Some heard of us already, but didn't know what to make of me. I just smiled and waved as Applejack and I introcuded myself to those I hadn't met. The same happened when Pinkie arrived with my siblings.

After the awkward ordeal, the activities had started, and Applejack took my suggestion and let people participate in whatever activity they wanted. Hiroto, being the anti-social super introvert, went inside whereas Jonathan, Applebloom and a few other fillies and colts went straight for the seven-legged race. I smiled and walked over. I have got to see this. Heheh...

-Nobody's POV-

Jonathan and a few of the fillies and colts had headed straight for the seven legged race. They all picked their partners. As one would expect, Applebloom picked Jonathan.

"Ah call Jonny!" AB claimed, clinging to the boy.

Babs had laughed with her partner. "You sure you wanna do that, cuz? You're down two legs."

"Havin' fun with yer friends is more important to me than winnin'." Applebloom retorted.

Jonathan gave Babs a determined look, mentally declaring rivalry. "I'm gunna win!"

They all lined up at the starting line with Pinkie sitting there, digging around in her mane. She pulled out her party cannon and lit the fuse. The moment it went off, every pony darted ahead, with the exception of Applebloom, because she was stuck with Jonathan going at a very slow pace. Poor Jonathan looked like he was trying so hard, but the mismatching of number and size of legs they had was a huge disadvantage, Not only that, but Jonathan's stomach was growling.

"It's okay Jonny, we can stop." Applebloom said comfortingly. "We gave it our all, and it's not good ta run on an empty stomach." Before Jonathan could reply, Applebloom pulled out a caramel apple and hoofed it to him. Jonathan took a bite.

This would be a moment that Applebloom would regret.

In the lead was Babs and her partner. They were perfectly synchronised with their steps and had a pretty fair lead.

"Keep it up! We're ahead and almoat there!" Babs stated between breaths.

"WELCOMETOTHEJUNGLEWEGOTFUNNGAMESWEGOTEVERYTHINUWANTHONEYWEKNODANAMES"

Babs heard a colt babbling and a filly screaming from far behind. Babs silently told herself not to look back.

"WEAREDAPEPOUCANFINDWATEVAUMAYNEEDIFUGOTDAMONEYHUNAYWEGOTYURDISEASE"

Babs tried to further resist temptation as the ruckus got louder and closer as it was right on their tail. The moment she looked back, a tall blur passed them both. Looking ahead, she saw Jonathan booking it with a screaming Applebloom who was upside down holding on for dear life with three of her legs wrapped around him, one of her forelegs still tied to his leg

"INDAJUNGLEWELCUMTODAJUNGLEWATCHITBRINGYATOURSHUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNEEEEEEZNEEEEEZ"

Both Babs and her partner had stopped, watching them both cross the finish line. Jonathan didn't stop. He kept going and going and going and going... and going... and going...

You get the idea.

It was about an hour later when Jack and AJ carried a sleeping Jonathan and a traumatized Applebloom back to the party. Nobody was hurt physically, but AJ gave her little sister a talk about giving Jonathan too much sugar. She learned her lesson to say the least. The reunion was pretty relaxing after that. The kids were playing tag or catch, or throwing water balloons at one another. The elderly worked on their quilt, everyone else socialized and caught up with one another and getting to know about Jack.

Another hour later, Jonathan had woken up underneath a tree. He looked around, seeing everyone still enjoying themselves and having fun. He felt lightheaded still, but he was also hungry again if his stomach growling was of any indication. He stood up and walked over to where the food was and grabbed the nearest item off the table.

He took a bite out of a caramel apple.

Author's Note

Finally done. Summary: Life, writers block, dissatisfaction with this particular chapter. Rewrote it, more life, life more, gaming, friends, hobbies, etc.

Story's not dead as I work on chapters bit by bit when I get inspired again. Inspiration's been fluctuating for a while.