Changing Worlds

by AxleandWheel

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Violence, Slice of Life, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Team Fortress
Length: 48910

The new ponies in town, the BLU team, have some adapting to do

They didn't come from this world, but it's now their new home. The classes try their best to fit in in the new place, but it's not as easy as it seems. From learning new things to falling on old habits, everypony's got work to do...

A sequel to My Little Fortress: Teamwork is Magic

Published 2012-02-24 00:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-29 22:04:01 UTC

Letters

Scout banked left, feathers the color of the Autumn leaves around him making minute adjustments to keep him in the air. With the wind picking up, he needed to finish his route, and fast. Ever since Derpy had taken a few days of absence to spend time with Dinky, he had taken up her position as the mailpony of Ponyville. Personally, he thought he was getting pretty good, although a few errors had slipped through. It was taxing, and secretly he hoped that she would return soon. He knocked on the oak door of the library. A violet unicorn answered.

"Hello, Scout!

"Hey, Twi. Got a package for ya"

"Package?"

"Yeah, from Davinport's. He said it was a set of quills you'd ordered. Also tried ta sell me a sofa for 20 minutes," He rifled around the bags at his side, pulling a long box out. A purple glow enveloped it.

"Tell me about it. The only reason I have a pull out sofa is because I felt so sorry for him," She put the box away. "Well, I won't keep you any longer, I sure you've got quite a bit of work left"

"Actually my route's ended. You're the last stop," He looked backwards when he heard a sound. A newspaper was being tossed violently against the ground, flying by in the wind. "Yeesh," He turned back. "Since I'm done, can I come in? At least until the wind dies down?"

"Sure," She stepped away from the door, and he walked in. He shed the mail bag on the ground, which made a clunk against the floorboards. "I thought you said your route was finished. It sounds like a lot of stuff is still in there"

"Oh, dat's not mail, it's my stuff"

She opened the flap, and true to his word she spotted the items he had brought with him. A battered aluminum bat with the BLU sticker emblazoned on it, a second headset identical to the one he was wearing, and other items concealed by a blue blanket covering them. "Why are you carrying everything with you?" She looked at him, cocking her head in confusion.

"Paranoia, I guess. I don't really like bein without my stuff if I don't have to," A purple dragon walked through the doorway to the kitchen. "Oh, hey Spike!"

"Uh... hi. Do I know you?"

Scout remembered for a second. Spike wasn't around when Twilight had introduced the team. His mind started racing, trying to find an excuse why he would know the dragon. "Uh..."

"Spike, meet Scout!" Twilight chimed in before he could make up a story. "He's one of the ponies I met on my trip"

"Uh... Yeah, Twilight's told me all about you," He nervously said, laughing slightly. 'Good thing Twilight thinks on her feet faster than I do'

Spike looked at the pegasus, then shrugged. "Okay, nice to meet you," The dragon took a bite out of a cupcake in his hand. "You staying for dinner? Cause I gotta start cooking soon"

"I guess I can, if it ain't too much trouble," Scout cast a glance at Twilight, who nodded. Spike wandered back into the kitchen. "Guess I kinda put my hoof in my mouth there, huh?"

"Well, I don't think Spike caught anything out of the ordinary, so we should be okay," She turned her attention away, placing the new quills in an orderly fashion on the desk. "I just think we need to be careful. I mean--"

"Yeah, I know, don't tell anyone about the human thing," he sighed. He really didn't want another lecture right now. "I'm just not used to it. It's like I'm in a really weird dream. It doesn't help that I know a lot about you guys"

"I meant to ask you about that," She started, casting a glance to the kitchen. "But lets eat first. I don't want Spike having some existential crisis from finding out he's on a T.V. show in another world. We can talk when he's asleep"

The plates on the tables were clean except for a few petals from the sandwiches. Scout had to admit, though he was still getting used to eating flowers, Spike did know how to cook. The dragon rubbed his eyes and yawned. Twilight led him upstairs, tucking him into his small bed. She trotted back downstairs.

"Thanks for the meal, Twi. I haven't eaten that well for a while," He smiled. "Heavy's good at making sandwiches, but there's only so much ham I can take"

"Not a problem, Scout. It looks like Spike enjoyed having someone to talk to other than me"

"I dunno, I've seen the stuff you guys go through. Gotta be a lot of good stories"

"True. There's a lot of crazy stuff that goes on. But Spike writes my letters, I don't think he enjoys hearing the same story over and over,"

"I would, I've seen every episode more times than I can count"

She giggled, laying down on the floor. He sat across from her. "So what have you seen?"

"Ah, tons. My personal favorite is the Sonic Rainboom, although the one where you lose your mind when you couldn't send the letters was..." Twilight gave him a half lidded look that suggested he not finish that sentence.

"Lovely. THAT little escapade," She shook her head. "Anyway... So what exactly are we? I mean, you've said we're a TV show, but why were you watching? Why did... Mr Hale was what Ms Pauling called him, I think... Why did he know who we were?"

"I'm not sure. I only caught you guys on the tube. They didn't exactly give us any contact with the outside except a TV. But if ol' Saxton knew who you were, I'm willin' ta bet that it's not just me that likes it"

The two discussed at large their respective stances. Twilight didn't know much about Scout's universe, except for the few bits she had acquired from Dash. Scout, on the other hand, knew an uncomfortable amount about Ponyville, asking questions that even Twilight didn't know the answer to.

"So our universe is fictional in your universe, but yours is fictional in ours. That would mean that every fictional universe has it's own dimension where it's real," She shuddered at the thought, not wanting to think about the implications of some of the stories she'd read being real.

"I guess, I'm probably not the best to discuss it with. I'd think Engi would be better suited ta all that alternate universe time mumbo-jumbo. Never really was the smart one," He said. A chill went up his spine, and he shivered. "Is there a draft in here?"

"It's getting dark, and I think one of my windows isn't fitted properly since the last time Dash crashed into my house. Hold on a second," She stood up, placed a log in the fireplace and ignited it. Scout trotted over to his belongings, pulling the blue blanket around him. As he did a picture fluttered to the ground. He carefully scooped it up, looking at it quietly. Twilight looked at him, noting the reverence of how he handled the photograph. "Scout?" She trotted over to him, casting a peek over his shoulders. She didn't know what she expected to see, but a family in an all-out brawl while wearing colorful sweaters was certainly not it.

Scout let his mind drift. "It's funny, after all this I started rememberin' more about that day..."

"But mooooom!" Scout tried his trademark whine again, but the woman dragging his sleeves wasn't phased.

"I said no, Scout! A picture isn't going to kill you!"

"If I'm wearin this, I'd rather it did! I look like a stoplight!" The sweater was red on the top, with yellow and green underneath. The colors were eye-searingly bright, and he swore that the fabric physically emitted light.

"If I had to wear them when I was your age, so do you! It's one picture, and only Nana is going to see it!"

He started wrestling against her grip again. For a split second, she lost her hold. That was all he needed. He burst away, running at full tilt. "No way!" He shouted back.

"Damn it Scout!" Her voice faded behind him. He dashed home, taking alley after alley. He knew Boston like the back of his hand. Whenever he was bored he pretended to run the city in his mind, over rooftops and fire escapes. The city grew used to him landing on their fire escapes and using them as springboards. Even at twelve, there were few souls that could outrun him. He hit the door, and stopped to catch his breath. "I ain't gonna be caught dead in this thing" He opened the door. An arm wrapped around his chest and lifted him off the ground. "What the!?" His mother held him under her arm. "But how did you...!?"

"You think... you're the only one... that knows this city?" She panted heavily. She dragged him back to the photo shop, plopping him down next to the rest of his brothers who were sitting in front of a winter backdrop. Joey, the youngest besides himself, snickered. "Have fun, Scout?"

"Shut up Joey"

"Whoa, hey, no need to get mad at me, You're the one dumb enough to run, Scoot"

"I told you to stop calling me that!" The two started arguing. A portly man poked his head from behind the camera, looking irritated. "Look, lady, I got other customers. I'm takin the picture in 30 seconds, ready or not"

She scowled, looking between the two boys. She placed a finger on each side of her lips, then let loose a shrill whistle. Scout clutched his ringing ear. After he could hear again, he begrudgingly took his position, putting on a fake smile.

Joey leaned over. "It's okay. You'll be a good runner someday, Scoot"

"That's it!" A mean right hook caught Joey's jaw. The two started brawling again, the family trying to seperate them.

The cameraman glared. The camera snapped. "NEXT!"

A wistful look came over his face. "Ma grounded me for a month after that"

The two looked at the photo for a while, silence prevailing. Finally Scout spoke in a whisper, as if he didn't want to be heard. "I just wish I could tell 'em I'm ok..." He slid the picture back into his bag with care. "Twi, I'm gonna hit the hay. Thanks for letting me crash," He sounded saddened by the memory. He pulled the bed out of the sofa, lying down on it. Twilight trotted up the stairs, forming a new idea.

The morning came and went. Scout respectfully left before breakfast, preferring to get an early start on the mail duties. As she watched the copper pegasus fade from sight, she set to gather her supplies. Some quills, and enough parchment to go around. "Spike, I'll be back tonight" She called out, heading toward the hotel where the team had taken residence.

The walls were in a sorry state, peeling paint and missing chips from the years of neglect. It had been a decent building at one point, but when the owners left no one took it. She walked into the dilapidated building, looking for the team. Instead only two ponies were there, cleaning. Heavy was sweeping the floor, one brush in his mouth, the other across the room being operated by a purple glow. Ms Pauling was cleaning the rafters, angering the spiders who's webs she wound up with the duster.

"Ah, Miss Sparkle!" Ms Pauling glided down to Twilight's level. Twilight looked around the building. "Are you looking for someone?"

"Kind of. Where's everyone else?"

"Job search," She said in an offhand manner. "Why?"

"Well, I had an idea last night. Scout told me this story about his old home life. He sounded so homesick" She pulled out some paper from her saddlebag, "I was thinking that maybe writing a farewell letter could help. And if Scout is that homesick, I'm betting at least a few of the others are too"

"Letter writing, eh? I like it!" Ms. Pauling's eyes lit up. "It could be excellent catharsis, and I believe that the stress relief would do a world of good,"

Twilight smiled at the word catharsis. It was nice to speak to someone with whom she didn't have to use the lower reaches of her vocabulary. As much as she loved Spike, there were many words that the dragon simply didn't understand.

"Hey Heavy!" The large unicorn put down the brooms and trotted over to them. "Did you hear all of that?"

"Da. I would like to write letter to sisters, but only if I can write in mother language"

"Of course. This is for you. Write it however you want," Twilight wrapped a piece of parchment and a quill in magic, levitating them in front of Heavy. He grabbed the quill and began writing. Twilight watched over his shoulder.

'Саша и Наташа,' she decided to leave him to his letter, realizing it was pointless to try to read it. She trotted over to the purple pegasus.

"Since you can fly, I think you should go find the others and tell them about this," The lavender unicorn gave a stack of parchment by Ms Pauling. "I'll tell anyone who comes back here what's going on"

Ms Pauling grabbed the papers and flew out the door, looking for the team

One by one everyone was told of Twilight's therapy method. They each took paper and a quill, writing to the families they left behind. Whether they were small families, like Sniper, Demo, or Medic, or large, like Engi, or even an indeterminable size (Pyro and Spy refused to reveal who they were writing to) soon they were all writing back at their new living quarters.
Only one refused.

"A soldier has no use for family in a war, cupcake!" Soldier shouted, turning down Ms Pauling's offer in the rudest way possible. She didn't try a second time, instead electing to fly back to the building.

"I think that's it, Ms. Sparkle"

"Did you find Scout?"

"...No"

Twilight sighed, grabbing a few sheets. "I'll go find him, just collect the others letters once they're done. Maybe you can even write one yourself," Ms Pauling nodded at this, and Twilight searched for the crimson pegasus.

She didn't search long, calling him down from the skies after about five minutes of searching. She explained her intentions to an unusually quiet Scout. He nodded slowly as she finished and writing intently. He didn't stop or say a word until he finished. By the end he had scrawled across two sheets, addressing each and every one of his brothers with varying lengths of apologies and comments. He began his final paragraph, and his hoof shook

'Finally... To Ma'

After a few more minutes, he finished the letter and gave it to Twilight. He didn't speak, but his gratitude shone in his eyes. Twilight trotted back to the building with him as the sun started setting. Ms Pauling met her at the door, handing a pile of letters to her. Twilight graciously took them and headed home."Don't worry, guys. I'll take care of these. If you ever want to have another look at them, just ask me"

"Spike, I'm home!" She laid her saddlebag, filled to the brim with the others rolled up letters, on her desk. She walked into the kitchen, while Spike came down the stairs. He took a look at the letters in the bag.

"Must have had the other girls write some letters," He opened one, and scowled. "Geez. I don't know why Dash insists on writing her own letters, her hoofwriting is awful. I can't even read this, it doesn't even look like Equestrian. Is that 'N' backwards?" He sighed, then with one breath sent them to their usual destination, Princess Celestia. Twilight walked back into the library, a daisy sandwich enveloped in a purple glow.

"Spike, what was that noise?" She took a bite out of the meal.

"Oh, I just sent those letters of yours out. Tell Dash to work on her hoofwriting next time"

Twilight gasped, then choked on the sandwich. "You did what!?"

Celestia watched the green smoke waft in, dropping a whole slew of letters. Twilight had been cranking out letters ever since she had returned. While she loved to read her most faithful student and her friend's letters, the princess was starting to wonder if all Twilight had done for the past few days was write. She opened a letter, and the different hoofwriting caught her eye. Nothing like Twilight, or any of the others that wrote her letters. She read it intently, trying to figure out who had written it. It didn't address her, and apologized to a large family. It ended plainly, with 'Love, Scout'

The light bulb in her head went off. She read through the papers, each one for families instead of her. "I think there's someone who should hear about this," She gracefully stepped to the edge of the room, pulling a cloth off a body length mirror. Her horn glowed and the mirror grew a cloudy blue. As the clouds cleared, a picture of a large Australian man came into view, holding two RED Engineers by their collers.

"I'll teach ya to clone yerselves!" He punched them.

"Mr Hale?"

He dropped the two limply to the ground. "Do my ears deceive me, or..." He turned and faced the ruler of Equestria. "Well if it ain't Celestia! I haven't seen you in ages!"

She giggled. "And a fine how do you do to you, as well"

"Hey, did you know that some of your ponies came through here about a week ago?"

"Not until they returned. I wish I had known, I could have tried to help them"

"So how've you been, Celly? Why the contact?"

"I have a favor to ask," She held up the letters. "These are from the team to their families. If I transported the letters to your world, Could you get them transported to their proper destinations?"

"Hang on, let me check," He pulled out a large phone and punched in a few numbers. "Mr. Reddy? Do we have the adresses for the former BLU team? ... Great! Send a helicopter, I have some mail to be delivered to their families ... Half that time or you're fired! ... Well then find a way to do it in twenty minutes! ... And bring me a snow leopard to fight! ... I didn't ask if it was endangered, I said bring me one!" He hung up the phone. "He'll be here in twenty, so send those letters over"

Celestia's magic glowed brilliantly as she teleported the letters one by one. Even with her incredible magic skill, it was draining to send anything across the dimensions. By the end of sending twelve or so pieces of parchment she was exhausted. As she finished the last piece the roar of helicopter blades came into her hearing. "Just in time, it seems"

A rope with a basket attached lowered itself to arms height. Saxton gathered the scrolls together. "Reddy! Read these and figure out where they need to go!" He placed them in the basket. "And send down my leopard!" The basket rose, and a vicious snarl introduced the cat as it fell. Saxton started fighting the cat. "Don't you worry, Celly! Those letters'll get where they need to!"

"I'm holding you to that word, Saxton! Take care!" She closed the portal and smiled.

Deep in the heart of Boston, the doorbell of a house rang. The woman that opened the door cringed at the man who stood there. He handed her a scroll of all things, then left. She unrolled the paper and began reading. She fell to her knees and cried and her sons surrounded her. Except this time, unlike the last instance that man had brought news, these were tears of joy. She held the letter tight as she turned on the TV. She flipped though the channels until she saw it. On screen, a crimson pegasus was in a race. A pegasus that wore the earpiece and dog tags she knew all too well.

Cloak and Dagger

'How did I get myself into this?'

Spy's brain worked as fast as it could, given the war zone around him. The snow on the ground was slowly disappearing as volley after volley rocked their makeshift shelter.

His horn shimmered, and he disappeared from view. He stepped gingerly around the snow, not wanting to leave any trace of himself. As the specter crossed the battlefield undetected, his mind traveled to what led him here.

"Miss Sparkle, I must thank you for this opportunity." The dark blue unicorn adjusted the saddlebag on his back. A light blue glow that was not his own enveloped his tie, adjusting it tightly. "Miss Rarity, you're choking me" The magic dispelled, and Spy readjusted the tie himself. Rarity grinned sheepishly. The fasionista admired her own hard work, a tuxedo in the spitting image of the suit she wore only two months ago, now made for Spy's new job.

"Celestia's ambassador," Twilight read the letter again. She had asked Celestia if there was any place in her castle for any part of the team. The student had expected a guard position or some other lower ranking job. However, the letter she received back was far outside her expectations

'Dear Twilight

From your description, these ponies you met sound quite... eccentric. Unfortunately, I don't have many job openings in the castle. However, due to a recent... scandal forcing Silver Stone out of office, I am left without an ambassador. I would like 'Spy' to come to the castle so that I may see with my own eyes if he is a worthy follow-up to Silver Stone. I shall send a carriage to pick him up in three days

Regards,

Princess Celestia'

"An ambassador is quite an honor, but I can't help question her logic. I've only just gotten here, what would make her believe me to fit this job?" He took a seat on the bags he had packed.

"Well, I did give you guys quite the write-up... Maybe you should ask Celestia. After all, your carriage will be here soon." She grinned as the Princess' guards started toward the ground. They landed and stopped in front of the conversing unicorns. Spy stood up, and a quick spell carried his bags into the carriage.

"Goodbye and I hope that when next I see you, I can do so as an ambassador." The two guards pulled away with Spy in tow.

"Good luck! “ The two watched him disappear toward the castle in the distance. What they didn't see, however, was the white earth pony following the guards on the ground.

"Celestia, please!" Luna begged her sister. Once a year, the Princess of the Sun traveled to meet with the other leaders of the countries to discuss global matters. While they talked in a private room, the ambassadors of the countries would perform a good-will meeting to learn what they can about their fellow races.

"Luna, why do you want to go so badly? The conference is only for leaders and ambassadors."

"But the castle is so dull! We don't want to be stuck here for a week while you get to go have fun on Ungu Island!"

"Luna, these meetings are important business. There is no fun to be found in that room"

"Then we will stay with the ambassadors, anything!"

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Prince Farrow, would it?"

The mention of the Deer Prince caused Luna to blush. "Wha-what do you mean? We simply wish to spend a little bit of time away from the castle"

Celestia gave an amused smirk. "Are you sure? Because when he was here last month you couldn't keep your eyes off his-"

"I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON FARROW!" If there was one thing Luna had on her older sister, it was the fact that her Royal Canterlot Voice was much, much louder. A painting on the wall clattered to the ground. Celestia recoiled, eardrums ringing. She smirked.

"Whatever you say, Lulu."

The Princess of the Moon was about to shout again at her foalhood nickname when a knock drew both of their attentions to the large door of their throne room. A guard poked his head in.

"Princess Celestia, a guest for you has arrived."

"Ah, that will be the new ambassador. Send him in." The guard disappeared. Celestia turned to her younger sister. "I will let you come with me, Luna"

Luna jumped for joy. "Huzzah!"

"On one condition." Luna hovered in the air. "You must follow my instructions when we arrive. No back talking, no whining, nothing of the sort. Understood?"

Luna huffed "We have been to social gatherings before, Celestia. We think we know how to handle ourselves."

"After what happened on Nightmare Night, I'm not so sure" The younger sister blushed slightly. "Now go pack, we’ll discuss more later. And for mine and everyone else’s sake, drop the royal ‘we‘. It’s very nerve grating. Plus it makes you seem outdated." Luna exited the chamber, passing a dark blue Unicorn slowly trotting into the room. The door closed behind him. "Hello, Spy"

He flinched. Usually when he heard those words, the assassin was caught by the enemy team.

“It is good to finally meet you.”

He quickly composed himself. "Thank you for the honor, princess. I am glad that I have the chance to become something as prestigious as your ambassador. But I must ask: Why me?"

"I admit that I'm in dire need of an ambassador. The trip to the largest annual meeting between the nations is only two days away. Twilight gave an excellent recommendation about you and your diplomacy skills."

"No offence, your highness, but I'm a bit new to this culture. Wouldn't it make more sense to hire a pony with more experience?"

"Well, that's the issue. Recently a scandal forced me to retire the last ambassador. Moreover, no one will come forward for the position. Her actions were so immoral that nopony wants to be saddled with that kind of predecessor over their heads. With you not being from around here, I hoped that you wouldn't have any such hang-ups."

He shuffled a bit. "I suppose that makes sense. Very well then. I will accept your gracious offer. Although I don't suppose there is a way that you could give me something to work off? An ambassador would look pretty foolish if he didn't know anything about his home country, no?"

Celestia nodded. Her horn grew bright, and then a thin blue trail crept towards him. When it made a connection with him, his mind flashed with knowledge. "Think of that like a current events spell. A Princess has to keep up on things, after all. You will learn everything necessary about Equestria while you rest. Now, a guard will lead you to your room for tonight, and then we will leave for the island in the morning. Sleep well, Spy."

A guard led him to a large bedroom. He stewed over the new thoughts in his mind. As he calmed from the shock of the spell, he drifted off into a deep slumber.

The chariot rolled to a stop on the shore of the small island. The sand was the only thing free of a layer of snow coating the ground. The guards pulling the vehicle collapsed to the sand. "Amazing work, men. Rest up for the next few days, because the return trip is going to be just as difficult"

"How big did you say the pay raise for this was?" The leader of the group half mumbled.

"Two months salary for two day of flying." The group murmured in agreement. Celestia, Luna and Spy walked off the glimmering vehicle.

A zebra greeted them, and a Unicorn next to him lifted the bags of the group. They turned down a paved road covered with snow into a small town. Spy looked up and gasped. From the center of the island, a large building rose in the distance. The face he could see was covered in a gigantic mural depicting pony-kind. To the left and right were similar murals depicting Zebras and Buffalo. "That's the new meeting hall," The zebra proudly said. "The old one was getting much too small. The murals came from the community, to symbolize our unity. A celebration we hold each year, for the next week the party is here."

The group traveled through town toward the building. The marketplace bustled with several creatures. A deer and camel were arguing over the price of some vegetables, while a giraffe and antelope stood on the street corner, loudly playing a few instruments to attract a spare coin out of the travelers’ saddlebags.

Celestia relayed the story of the city on the trip, both to Spy and Luna. "The town was founded about one hundred years ago. We built the meetinghouse on the very point that all of our nation’s borders were equally distant. Once the building was finished, creatures of all kinds flocked to the island to celebrate the harmony of the island. The building you see now was finished last year."

"Sister, why have we never seen such creatures in our kingdom?" Luna was looking at the antelope and giraffe on the corner. The duo began to play much more intricately, hoping to capture the princess' attention.

"Their kingdoms are halfway around the world. No normal creature is capable of crossing such a great distance naturally, and even magically is difficult. Even with all the magical endurance spells I cast, the guards are still exhausted. Trade usually brings a few here and there, but long term residents are exceedingly rare"

Soon the glimmering golden doors of the building loomed before them. They opened to reveal a group sitting around a large table. Their dress was regal, wearing crowns and headdresses fit for royalty. Behind the chairs was a creature of the same species. 'Those must be their ambassadors' Spy thought.

"Ah, Celestia. Good to see you showed up. I was beginning to wonder if you weren't coming after last year." The sneering leader of the camels tapped the gold watch on his wrist mockingly.

"Well, Dyun, I wouldn't miss the chance to be here. How many more are coming?"

"Everyone that's going to be here is. The Gryphons refused to come while they were still at war, the moose very politely declined, and the goats' leader is too much of a stubborn jack-ass to come." The Antelope Queen huffed.

"Now now, Eryx. Such language is unneeded. Well if that is that, I suggest we send the ambassadors on their goodwill mission and get the negotiations started. Luna will be joining my new ambassador this year after Silver Stone's...incident."

The giraffe‘s leader leaned in. "Is it true she was publicly-?"

"What she was doing is her and those pedestrian's business alone. Now if you wouldn't mind..." The ambassadors all gathered into a group. They departed, leaving their leaders to their duty. Once the doors all closed, Celestia pulled a lime green dealer's cap and a deck of cards from under the table. "Ladies and gents, the name of the game is Equestria Hold-em. And since I had to take Tarturus for the year, I start as dealer."

The group traveled toward the town. Suddenly the antelope at the front turned his head back. "Well, I think we should start by introducing ourselves to the new Equestrian ambassadors. I am Steen, of Themora"

"Ambassadors? I know who you are, Steen. You visited the castle two months ago" Luna looked at him quizzically.

"Luna, I was speaking to your new ambassador AND the Buffalo ambassador. After all, they are new this year and the buffalo are from Equestria, correct?"

"Oh." Luna lowered her head in embarrassment.

The Buffalo spoke up. "I am Crossing Stream. And my people graciously thank the council for allowing us to join this most prestigious of-"

"Oh, it's no trouble at all, Crossing Stream." Steen cut the girl off, earning him a glare.

"Quite rude, Steen. Don't they teach you manners?" The deer straightened his back, looking at Spy and Crossing Stream. "I am Farrow, the prince of Servidae. Well, the younger prince. My older brother Ar handles most things, I assist."

"Ah, I have heard a lot about you Farrow. You were referred to quite a bit by-" Spy felt the force of Luna's hoof clasp over his muzzle.

"I wouldn't pay too much attention to him right now, he's still woozy from the trip" Luna sheepishly grinned. The deer prince turned his head, and Luna gave Spy a death glare that chilled his spine.

"Call me Andara, if you can. Hippotigia is my native land." The zebra bowed her head briefly. Spy marveled at the apparently innate ability of zebras to rhyme on the spot.

The camel turned her head only far enough to see Spy. "I am Biyona, of Dromasia. Shame Silver Stone got herself fired. Maybe you can get a new leader to make a matching set." She gave a haughty laugh and turned back.

Spy turned to Luna. "What's her problem?"

Luna grit her teeth. "There's been some bad blood between us, and that's all you need to know right now."

"And last but not least!" The giraffe announced and turned quickly, smacking loudly into a low hanging store sign. The group winced at the sight. The girl's eyes crossed and she swayed a little. She shook her head, bringing her back to normal. "I'm Tippe, from Lo-appu. Nice to meet you both!"

"Honestly Tippe," Farrow said. "You must learn to be more careful." The tips of his antlers glowed, encasing the sign in green magic and lifting it. Tippe ducked under it. "So, we've met you, Crossing Stream, but I'm afraid I didn't catch your name, Mr..." Farrow cast his glance at the well-dressed unicorn.

"My name is Spy"

Steen and Biyona stopped walking. The rest of the group crashed into them. Steen looked at Spy incredulously. "Spy? She hired someone named Spy?" He laughed. "I knew her hiring practices were easy, but really now!"

Spy glared, insulted. Andara stepped between them. "Remember, the yearly celebration is here, made for all from zebra to deer. This is no time for animosity, with all of these sights to see." Indeed, the celebration, which had not started when Spy first arrived, was in full swing. Instead of a few street performers, the road was practically littered with them. There were bright, vibrant colors in every direction.

"Andara is right. We'll meet back here in two hours." They all split in different directions. Luna followed Farrow toward a large stage set up. Spy kept in step with them.

A pudgy pony took center stage. "Hello and welcome! Tonight, Equestria's most powerful magician will take her place on the stage tonight to perform an astounding show! So without further delay, I present-" The Pony was cut off by a blue puff of smoke. From the smoke brilliant streaks of light burst in every direction. A mare rose in shadow from the display. Her eyes opened, revealing shining yellow eyes. The light caught her skin, shining like metal. A look Spy knew all too well. 'No... That’s not possible...'

"THE GREAT! AND POWERFUL! TRIXIE!" The mare called out in a booming voice that resonated through the crowd. The metallic effect ended, and her light blue coat came into its normal view. Spy reeled at the thought. 'How did she...'

"Thank you, and goodnight!" The crowd erupted into cheers, and the curtain closed.

"Amazing show" Farrow said through a mouthful of popcorn.

"Indeed it was. Would you excuse me? I will meet you two at the designated spot. I have something I need to take care of."

Luna briefly gained a panicked look, but Spy was already heading toward the show-mare's dressing room. He knocked on the door.

"Trixie said she is not signing autographs at the beginning of the show!" The girl inside shouted.

"I'm not looking for your autograph!" Spy shouted.

"Well then why are you... wait... Trixie knows that voice..." The door slowly opened. "Spy!?" She ushered him in. "What are you doing here?

"I could ask you the same thing"

Spy told her of his new job, leaving anything that could be considered privy information out. Once he finished, Trixie began her story of traveling to the island in the middle of the ocean.

"...And after the tournament, I was left here without a ride. I've been performing here for about a month to try to earn a trip back home. Looks like I've found one."

"Well, I still need to ask Celestia. For now, I suggest you stay here. I will relay any information I receive," Spy said. Trixie nodded. "Now if you'll excuse me, Ms. Trixie, I have to go meet with some people.

He trotted toward the meeting spot. As it came into view, however, he heard a vicious argument. Once he could see clearly, Luna and Biyona were being held apart by Farrow and Steen. "That is it, Luna! It's war!"

"War? Ha! How do you suggest we do that!? You couldn't win a fight if your opponent was a rock!"

The camel looked around. "Snowball fight! Tomorrow!"

"Snowballs!? What are you, a foal?"

"Sounds like you're scared!"

"NEVER! So it is! We'll have teams!"

"Fine with me! Steen, Tippe, Crossing Stream! You're with me!" Biyona glared at the three

"Fine! Farrow! Spy! Andara! You're on my side!" The alicorn's stare was somehow just as fierce as the camel's.

"Tomorrow! At dawn! Winner is superior!"

"You're on! First to surrender loses!" The two girls left in opposite directions toward the cottages they were using for the night.

"Did we just get drafted?" Spy asked in wonder.

"Looks like it. Man, this should be interesting." Farrow watched the two leave. The group dispersed, Spy quickly running to catch up with Luna, though staying a bit behind her to avoid her wrath.

She stormed into the empty cabin. "Can you believe her?"

"I didn't see the fight start, so I don't know what's going on."

"Doesn't matter. Get your war face ready. And do NOT tell Celestia. I don't need her interfering."

“You are acting childish!”

“She started it!”

“Fine. I will humor you”

A few minutes later, the princess of the sun walked in, although her crown was suspiciously absent.

"Princess, what happened to your crown?"

"Huh? Oh... I must have... Forgot! Yes, I forgot it at the hall. Heh... Silly me. I'll pick it up tomorrow" He watched both princesses take their rooms. He pulled his covers up on the mattress on the floor serving as his bed.

'I can't help feeling something bad is going to happen tomorrow' He fell asleep, waiting for the next day’s battle

Luna paced in front of the crew before her. She looked ready for action, with her hair pulled into a ponytail to keep it out of her eyes. "Okay, do we have the plan down?"

"Not too be rude, ruler of night, but all you said was throw with might" Andara tilted her head questioningly.

"Well yeah. That's how we'll win, by hitting them harder." The group silently stared at the expectant princess. "Well then you make a better plan!"

"I intend to." Spy took Luna's place "First we need to-" A snowball caught his jaw, coating his muzzle in snow. "What the-!? We haven't started yet!"

"Pre-emptive fire! All's fair in love and war!" Biyona appeared above the ridge to their right. The rest of her team followed suit, including a pair of ponies.

"You... You hired extra teammates!? That's cheating!" Spy was shouting, uncharacteristically angry.

"I say again: All's fair in love and war!" They disappeared behind the ridge again.

"Pre-emptive strikes, hiring mercenaries, guerilla tactics... This is personal now. Set up a shelter, I saw some sheet metal in that direction." Spy pointed. "I'll be back soon; I'm going to get some firepower." He bolted toward town.

He slid in front of his target door. After some frantic knocking, Trixie sleepily opened the door.

A few minutes later, the two charged into the sheet metal shelter. "How goes it?"

"They've hit a few times, but nothing huge. You brought the magician?" Farrow kept a lookout at a square hole functioning as a window.

"She's an old friend."

Farrow let out an exasperated sigh, studying the forest as close as he could. “Let’s hope she can help.”

"Now what?" Luna asked

"Well, they must have some kind of base to plan their attacks. If we can find it when it's unoccupied, we can set up a sneak attack."

"How do you suggest we find it?" Farrow asked. Spy grinned at the question. His horn shined briefly, then he disappeared from sight. "Like this."

They waited for the next strike. They got their wish about ten minutes later. Loud slams against the walls announced their enemies.

'How did I get myself into this?' The snow on the ground was slowly disappearing as volley after volley rocked their makeshift shelter. Trixie's magic was first, creating an illusion of the group hiding in the shelter.

Spy's horn shimmered, and he and his teammates disappeared from view. They stepped gingerly around the snow, not wanting to leave any trace of their deception. When the enemies retreated, they followed quietly. They found a mound of snow with a hole dug in it. Biyona, Crossing Stream, Tippe, and the two ponies left soon after they got back. Luna's team walked into the nearby forest. Spy lowered the illusion, panting. Luna created a circle around them, hiding them from sight and masking any sound.

"What now? Steen's still in there."

"I'm thinking." Spy put his hoof to his head, pondering the possibilities. But a yell from his right caught him off guard.

"Got you, you rat!" The white pony jumped on Spy, his hooves strangling the unicorn and the helmet on his head rattling back and forth. Trixie pulled the angry pony off him.

"Soldier!?" Spy coughed. "How did you get here!?"

"I swam! I’ve been following your stupid chariot since you left! I won't let you get away with it, you dirty thief! Put me down!" He swatted at Trixie, smacking her horn and briefly dispelling the effect. He jumped right back to strangling Spy, but Farrow quickly took Trixie's place, holding Soldier upside-down. With one hoof holding his helmet on and the other swatting futilely, he was helpless.

"You... swam?" Luna gawked. "From Equestria? That's not possible! No normal creature could cross that much distance in such a short time!"

"He's not normal." Spy rubbed his throat, then stood up. "What are you going on about?"

"My bagel! Scout said you stole it and then came here to escape punishment! But I won't let you get away with it!"

Spy placed his head in his hooves. "You crossed an entire ocean... FOR A BAGEL!? One that I don't even have!?"

"It was a good bagel. Now where is it!?"

"I don't have time for this! I didn't take your stupid pastry!"

"Well then who did!?"

"I don't know! Maybe Scout?"

Soldier pondered this for a second. "You may be right. But this isn't over"

Spy rolled his eyes. "At least we have an equal number to them now. Should we take them head on?"

"Yes." Soldier answered before the question was even finished. "All this sneaking is a mockery of battle! Head to head is the only way!"

"Anyone saner want to weigh in?" Spy looked for a voice of reason.

"Let's do it. No more sneaking around" Farrow released Soldier who fell to the ground.

"Agreed" Luna said. Andara nodded.

"Looks like we've got our chance." The enemies were coming over the ridge. Luna dropped the spell, and they ran towards them. Andara charged into the igloo. A few seconds later Steen ran out at a full clip with the zebra on his tail. Crossing Stream watched the cowardly antelope run around, then with one well delivered kick knocked him out. "THAT'S FOR CUTTING ME OFF!" The buffalo shouted at her unconscious partner. She smiled sweetly at Andara. "That felt good. Truce?"

"Truce, my friend, and I must say, seeing Steen get knocked out has made my day."

A minor battle had broken out between Trixie, Farrow, and Tippe. The giraffe stopped for a second, looking at the two. “Why are we still fighting?“ They shrugged, and like that their fight ended with a truce, not wanting to escalate any more.

Biyona's two pony mercenaries were readying a volley of snowballs. Soldier ran up to the two ponies, grabbing them both in a headlock. He twirled around, tossing them both towards a large tree. They struck the massive trunk, and the tree vibrated, depositing a blanket of snow on the two. One was unconscious, while the other watched Soldier stride toward him. "What are you?"

"I'm a soldier!" With that the helmeted pony briefly saluted, then punched him across the jaw, knocking him out. Spy patted him on the back, then they turned to watch the final two combatants

Luna and Biyona were locked hoof to hoof, neither budging. "Give up, Biyona! Your entire team is either out cold or not fighting!"

"Never!"

"Oh for goodness sake!" Spy had finally had enough. His magic shook a nearby tree, sending a blanket of snow down on Biyona. The camel poked her head out. "Now will you please END THIS!?" The unicorn shouted.

"...Fine. I surrender." All the conscious parties cheered.

Just before sunset, the ambassadors gathered outside the doors one last time, although Biyona and Steen were noticeably absent. It was only an hour after the fight, but everyone had recovered from the war.

"Well that was different. Looks like everything is in order. I hope to see you all again next year!" Crossing Stream left with the larger buffalo leader.

"Goodbye all, and know this well, I will visit with stories to tell!" Andara and the Hippotigia leader left.

The normally loudmouthed leader of the Camels left the building silently. Biyona quietly followed, glaring at Luna briefly.

"Honestly Steen, you deserved a good kick to the head"

"Yes, my queen," Steen followed the Antelope queen out, an icepack attached to his temple.

"Bye guys!" Tippe excitedly waved, narrowly missing crashing into a sign again. Her leader was not so lucky, and a hanging sign caught him off guard.

"Well, Luna, I'll see you on our next visit." Farrow walked behind his king. After a few seconds, though, he bolted back, giving Luna a peck on the cheek, then ran back to his waiting leader. Luna froze up, legs stiffening, her dark blue face turning a luminescent red. Celestia was the final one to leave, sporting both her crown and an assortment of shining chains and bracelets, including a shiny gold watch.

"Is everyone ready?"

"Princess, where'd you get that jewelry?"

"I'm very good at negotiating. Also, we don't have to take care of Tarturus for the year! Isn't that great, Luna?"

"Mm-hmm." Luna said through a goofy grin.

They all trotted back to the carriage. They loaded everything up, including Trixie’s cart and valuables, then took off. "So, Luna, how were you and everyone else's last two days?"

"Dreamy." Luna smiled.

"Exhausting." Spy flopped down.

"Entertaining." Trixie elbowed the large bag of coins she was laying on.

"Wet." Soldier simply said.

Fire in the Sky

A pair of pegasi shot past the finish line, the yellow and red coats blurring together to make it impossible to tell who was first. "You know I won that!" Pyro glared at Scout.

"No way, man! Ain't no way you're faster than me!" Scout and Pyro got up in each other’s faces, trying to stare the other down.

"Fluttershy!" Both turned to the one who was supposed to watch for the final judging. "Who won?" Both yelled at the same time. The pegasus shrunk from them.

"Uhm... you both win?" She timidly said. They groaned.

"Ugh. One more time." Pyro lined back up at the starting line. "Remember, it's to the tree, up to that cloud, circle back to the tree and over the finish line. Although if that's too confusing for you, you could just follow me." She smirked

"You can keep tryin' all ya want, it ain't gonna do nothin. We both know I was the fastest thing in Teufort"

"You may be a fast runner, but you fly like a duck. I, on the other hand," She spread her wings wide. "I fly like a phoenix."

The two lined up, noses poking just barely past the line. Fluttershy raised the flag, and their wings flared. She dropped it and they were off like a shot. They rounded the tree, neck and neck, and climbed to a cluster of clouds. They circled them, slingshotting back to the tree. Out of the corner of her eye, Pyro saw her opponent start to fall back, the sharp speed increase of the drop giving her the boost she needed.

'Ha! Take that ya loudmouth!' she thought, smiling inwardly. 'It's in the-' her eye caught an interesting sight: A certain grey mare smiling and the filly on her head cheering Pyro on from the sidelines. '-bag?' The momentary distraction slammed her into the tree at full force.

She awoke a few seconds later, staring up at the sky and the faces of a pair of concerned pegasi and a unicorn filly talking to her. "Oh my gosh, Miss Pyro, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Her mouth refused to form proper words. "Uh... Buh?"

Scout started laughing uproariously. "Oh man, you weren't kidding! You DO fly like a phoenix! 'Cause you crash and burn HARD!" He wiped a tear from his eye, then looked quickly at Derpy. "Wait... if you're here, then that means... Crap!" He bolted over to his bag and tossed it over his shoulder. "I'm late for work!" He flew away toward the post office in the distance.

Pyro stood up, dusting herself off.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Fluttershy asked

"Yeah... Though I think I should take it easy."

"Oh, good. I'm sorry, but I need to get back to my cottage or the animals will get hungry. You're sure you're okay?" When Pyro nodded, she flew off.

Pyro turned to Derpy. "So what brings you out here?"

"Dinky." She nodded to her daughter.

"We were heading home from school and stopped when we saw you and Mister Scout flying. Sorry I distracted you, Miss Pyro." Dinky looked at the ground. Pyro put a hoof on her shoulder.

"It's fine, kiddo. My fault for taking my eyes off the course. You guys mind if I follow you? I kind of don't want to try flying right now in case I pass out or something."

Derpy smiled warmly. "Supper?"

"Sounds good." The two pegasi walked along the path while Dinky sat on her mother's back.

"Mommy's talked a lot about you, Miss Pyro."

"Heh. ’Miss'. You're a pretty formal little kid, you know that?"

"Mommy says that I should call people Mister and Miss out of respect."

"Well, your mommy's a pretty smart lady."

Pyro didn't speak much, letting Dinky chat about her day with her mother, chiming in to make a few comments here and there. They approached a humble little house. Pyro smirked when she caught sight of the green mailbox, 606 crossed out on the side and replaced with the proper number. The door opened to a cozy living room, a few seats pointed toward the fireplace at the front.

"Okay, Dinky, run upstairs and get your homework done. I don't want any more meetings with Miss Cheerilee." Derpy spoke cleanly, looking at her daughter.

"Aw, but I just got home!"

"How about a deal? You can rest for half an hour, then you MUST start your homework, no 'buts' about it. Deal?"

"Okay..." The filly sounded slightly saddened, but started to trot upstairs. She turned back about halfway up. "Oh, can Twist could come over to play tomorrow afternoon?" Her eyes changed into a pleading gaze, lowering her head and staring up at her mother.

Derpy laughed at the display. "We'll discuss it later; you only have a half hour you know." Realizing this, Dinky bolted up the stairs. Derpy turned to Pyro. "Children. They certainly are a hoof-full... Are you alright?"

Pyro's jaw hung agape at the conversation that had just transpired. 'Derpy... Talking? Normally?' She shook her head. 'Maybe I hit that tree harder than I thought.' "One more time? I don't think I caught that."

"I asked if you were okay. You seem a bit shocked."

"You could say that again! You're speaking! Like, full sentences!" Pyro tossed her arms around the mare. "How is that possible?"

Derpy sighed. "Dinky's... special. It's something I don't even think about, but it's certainly welcome. I trust her as a mother does, and she knows who I really am. I'm not some bumbling mail mare in her eyes. I don't feel that constriction on my words when I talk to her."

"But what about now? You seem to be speaking okay to me."

She smiled. "I get a similar feeling with you. You know me much better than most ponies. I just..." She looked down. "They all think I'm unintelligent. No matter what I do, they don't remember the times I'm good, only the times I screw up." She looked back up. "But I feel like I can trust you."

"I'm honored, but I'm also confused. You get tongue tied around the ponies you don't trust?"

"I suppose."

"But I'm one of the ponies you trust?"

Derpy pulled a familiar looking journal out of a drawer on the end table nearby. "You read all of this. You know everything about me. Moreover, we have quite a bit in common. Only having a few that know who we truly are while everyone else thinks we're something different."

Pyro soaked this all in. Derpy's eyes focused ever so slightly, their usual positions trying their hardest to meet in the middle. They began chatting, the first opportunity to do so since they met. Any subject at all that would come up, they discussed, though the yellow pegasus tactfully avoided any of her personal life. Pyro knew very little of Derpy, only the items that had come up in her journal, and kept steering it back to the mare whenever her personal life came up. Despite her efforts, the mail mare took notice.

"Did something happen that you don't want to talk about? What are you afraid of?" The concerned yellow eyes made Pyro drop her head.

She stayed quiet for a bit. "...This world is a lot like what I normally see, y'know?" Derpy cocked her head at the usually energetic girl, who now sounded unbelievably fragile. "The colors, the happiness, everything. Back home, it's what I saw with my eyes closed. I had to drop into my imagination to escape all the stuff in the real world I didn't want to deal with. I'd like to leave it all behind, if I can."

There was a quiet silence between the two. Derpy stood up, wrapping her foreleg around Pyro in a quiet hug. They stayed that way for a minute or so. Pyro broke the silence.

"Clowns."

"What?" Derpy let go and looked at the firebrand pegasus questioningly.

"You asked what I was afraid of. It’s clowns. They freak me out." Pyro smirked.

Derpy chuckled. "I need to start dinner, I'll be right back." The grey mare trotted to the kitchen.

"Hey Derpy?"

"Yes?" She stopped in the doorway, turning back.

"You knew I was a girl, right?"

Derpy smiled. "From the minute I met you."

Pyro tossed and turned that night, stewing over Derpy's words. 'I want to help her, but I don't know... Maybe someone smarter can help.' She popped her head into Engi's room, gingerly stepping over some scattered nuts and bolts.

"Engi?" She quietly asked, but nothing happened.

"Engi?" She said slightly louder, eliciting a small snore.

"ENGI!" She shouted. The stallion scrambled, falling out of bed in his panic. He popped his head back over the bed.

"Pyro? What's wrong?" He rubbed his head.

"I have a problem, and you're smart, I thought you could help."

He stared at her with contempt. "It can't wait until morning?"

"I've been up all night thinking about it, and I wanted advice."

"Ugh..." He paused, then stood up. "Fine. What is it?"

She explained Derpy's problem to him, though once or twice she had to nudge him awake. After she finished, she looked at him quizzically. "So what should I do?"

"Well," He yawned. "Ah'm not gonna lie, ah don't know how much to help at this hour. Maybe you should talk to Twilight in the mornin'. Maybe her books have some kind of answer."

"That's a pretty good idea. Thanks Engi... Engi?" A light snore escaped his throat. She waved her hoof in front of his face, but he didn't respond, falling into a deep sleep standing up. "I'll thank him later," she mumbled as she went back to bed.

The next morning Pyro headed out toward the library for answers. 'If anyone can help, it's Twilight! Knowing her, she'll know how to fix it and Derpy can lead a good life! Perfect!'

"I'm sorry, Pyro, but I have no idea." Twilight was deep in a book, writing complex notes that Pyro couldn't comprehend.

"But you're the smartest pony I know! What do you mean you don't know?"

"I've been trying to find something to help the poor girl when I get a chance, but I haven't found anything in my studies. I don't even know what's wrong with her, and even if I did, finding a cure for something neurological like that is incredibly improbable."

Pyro looked down, disheartened. "Well, can I at least look?"

"Help yourself."

Pyro began looking through shelf after shelf of books, not finding anything even remotely helpful. "Twilight, you seem to have quite a few books on magic."

"I know what you're thinking, but there aren't any spells I know of that can help. I might have to check the Canterlot Archives. Maybe the Star Swirl the Bearded wing."

"In all of your magic, there's not one spell you can repurpose for this?"

"Magic isn't just something you can make up on the fly, Pyro. It takes study and concentration to create spells." Twilight didn't look up, copying a formula into her notes

"What are you talking about? Magic is controlling your energy properly. Even I can do some."

Twilight's pen stopped dead, and she slowly looked up in confusion. "What do you mean, you can do some?"

"Watch." Pyro stood on her hind legs, her wings slowly flapping to keep her upright. "You just have to channel your energy the right way. Like this." She put her hooves together, bringing both to one hip. "All I have to do is aim it to my wrists, and..." With a sudden thrust forward, she extended her legs forward, and a small fireball burned the air in front of her. "See?"

Twilight stood in awe, ears pointed back out of sheer confusion. "But... Bu-but that's impossible! Only unicorns can do magic!"

Pyro shrugged. "Obviously not."

"No, no no no." Twilight tore herself away from her desk, suddenly poring over the multiple books of magic on her shelf. "That's unheard of! No non-unicorn can use magic!" She started tossing books over her shoulder, trying desperately to find something to contradict what she just saw. Pyro ducked a few oversized tomes hurdled haphazardly at her. A smaller one beaned her in the head, landing at her feet.

"Watch it!" Pyro looked down at the book. She tenuously picked it up. Twilight swung around.

"Don't you understand!? This isn't how it works" She went back to scanning book after book for proof. Spike walked down the stairs.

"Geez, what's got her worked up?" He pointed over his shoulder at his panicking friend.

"I broke her reality, I think." Pyro held up the book. "I think I better leave. Can I check this out?"

"Sure, I'll let Twi know once she's calmed down."

Pyro slipped the book into her saddlebag and left towards home.

Engi lowered his hammer to the nail, making sure it aligned properly. A bead of sweat appeared across his brow. The silence of the empty room was the only accompaniment to the sounds coming from his tools as he worked. One small mistake and he could ruin the device beyond repair. He breathed in deeply, raising the tool high. He swung with all his might, hitting the nail perfectly. He sighed in relief.

"ENGI!"

The piercing yell not two feet from his ear startled him into tossing the hammer into the wall, jamming the claw-head a few inches deep into the wall. He groaned, yanking it out with his teeth. "Damn it Pyro, stop doin' that!"

"Sorry, I was excited. Remember that thing I told you about last night?"

"Yes." He said with contempt, clearly unhappy with the sleep he lost due to Pyro's predicament.

"Well I talked to Twilight, and she said she didn't have a spell that could help. But she threw this book at my head, and I think it might help." She laid a book on his desk. Its cover featured a plethora of devices with shining auras around them. Above the pictures was the title: A Beginner's Guide to Magitech: Bringing Magic and Technology Together to do the Impossible by Voltaic Quartz. "I hoped maybe you could understand it, 'cause I couldn't make heads or tails of it on my way over."

Engi picked it up, flipping through the pages. He would stop every few pages, reading a paragraph or two, then continue. "This here's some pretty complex stuff. You'll have to give me a bit of time to see what ah can get from it."

Pyro nodded, leaving Engi to his work. A few hours later, he emerged with a grin. "Go gather up Miss Derpy and Miss Twilight. I've got an idea."

Pyro led Twilight back to the building, then set off to find the mail mare. She looked up to see Scout napping on the clouds beside the building. 'Scout's not working, so I guess that mean's Derpy is on her shift.' She took flight, looking for the grey mare. She couldn't find her in the heart of the town, so she began circling the skyline until she caught sight of her in front of a house on the outskirts of town. As she flew close, she heard the sound of somepony shouting.

"You stupid piece of garbage! I'm sick of this!" A shouting stallion's voice caught her ear, and she noticed Derpy wasn't standing; she was cowering.

"I can't believe they let a brainless, walleyed freak like you work in the mail office! Every week you screw something else up!" Derpy shrunk from the confrontational stallion, trying not to make eye contact. He was absolutely livid, flushing red in his shouting. "You and that brat of yours. Can't believe they'd still let you keep her. If it were up to me, you wouldn't be having any kids! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He growled. He reached forward, attempting to shove her into making eye contact.

"Keep your grubby hooves off her!" Pyro bolted between the stallion and Derpy, flaring her wings wide to shield the grey mare. He stumbled back slightly in surprise, while Derpy took her chance and put a few feet of distance between her accuser and herself.

"Oh good. Another Celestia-damned supporter for this freak. 'Oh, she doesn't know what she's doing, you can't get mad!'" He said in a mocking tone. "Well I CAN get mad about someone who doesn't do their job, when I have to work all day every day, but if I mess up I get canned while SHE can screw up once a week and keep on going for more than a year!"

"Look!" Pyro shouted, her voice taking on a demonic tone. The stallion recoiled slightly. "I don't care if she messes up every day, she is still a pony! You will treat her like one, instead of some mail-delivering slave! I don't ever want to hear that you spoke to her that way ever again, or the consequences won't be pretty!" She turned away from him.

He stood up. "O-oh yeah! Like what!?" He shouted, though the tremble in his voice gave away his nervousness.

Pyro swung around. "I'LL LIGHT YOU ON FIRE!" With the word fire, a ring of flames erupted from the ground around her. He screamed at the top of his lungs, bolting into his house and slamming the door behind him. Pyro heard locks being fearfully pulled even from a few feet away. She trotted slowly to the grey mare. "Derpy? Are you -?"

She was interrupted by Derpy hugging her tightly, sobbing into her shoulder. Pyro didn't speak, letting her friend calm down enough to start heading for the building. 'Don't worry.' She thought, walking slowly with the very visibly shaken girl. 'Engi can fix this. And then it won't happen again.'

Pyro sat waiting outside the door, hours after gathering everyone needed. Engi said he might have a solution to Derpy's speaking problem, but Pyro wasn't allowed in the room to be sure that she's speaking to people she normally couldn't. 'Ugh, this is taking so looong.' She was starting to lose her mind. Any time she tried to preoccupy herself, she immediately went back to worrying and couldn't get her mind off of it. Everything she had seen in the past few days had changed her perceptions. 'Derpy's love for her child, being able to speak to certain ponies, a possible solution to jerks like that guy.' Her brow furrowed even thinking about him. She resolved that she really meant what she said, and if it came down to it, she wasn't afraid to keep her threat.

When the door opened, Pyro nearly fell out of her seat, scrambling to greet them. "So...?" She asked hopefully. Derpy stepped forward, wearing a silver necklace and a pair of what looked like hair clips right behind her ears. "I don't think jewelry is going to help much, guys."

"I don't know, I think I look pretty good." Derpy said. Pyro squealed in delight.

"You can talk! It works!" She laughed. "Wait... how did you do that?"

"Well-" Twilight started, but Derpy put a hoof up.

"Please, let me explain." Twilight graciously stepped aside. Derpy held the necklace up, letting the light glint off the circular pendant. "This is a speaker." Her voice came from the pendant, and Pyro noticed Derpy wasn't actually moving her lips. Then the grey mare pulled her hair back to show the 'clips'. "These work to read my brainwaves, interpreting them into words, and then transmit to the speaker. With these on, I can talk to whomever I wish."

"And all she has to do is get a tune up every once in a while to make sure it's workin' properly. Ah'm amazed at that book, but with my machines and Miss Twilight's magic, we got it done."

The yellow pegasus broke into a big grin. "We should celebrate! Dinner's on me!" She turned to Engi. "Can I borrow some money?"

The two pegasi lined back up on the starting line. "Maybe dodge the tree this time Pyro?" Scout smirked. Pyro sarcastically laughed.

"On your marks." Fluttershy raised the flag. "Get set." They stiffened, lowering to the ground. "G-" they blasted away the second the flag moved down. Much like last time, they stuck neck and neck. They circled the tree, climbing quickly to the halfway point in the clouds. Pyro snapped around quickly and started descending quickly. Scout, despite his efforts, started falling behind. They rounded the tree, and Pyro crossed the finish line, a foot or two ahead of Scout.

"Take that, ya loudmouth!" Pyro hooped and hollered, and a light "Yay" came from the sidelines. She turned to see Dinky and her mother cheering from the sidelines, along with another cream-colored filly standing beside the unicorn. Scout grumbled, picking up his bag and heading for work. Pyro joined her makeshift cheer squad.

"Having fun?" she tousled Dinky's hair as she giggled.

"We were heading out to dinner, and we wanted to know if you wanted to join us." Derpy smiled.

"Sounds great."

Bootcamp

As the carriage crested the hill, the group caught sight of the splendor of Canterlot. "Alright everypony!" Celestia called to the napping group behind her. "We've arrived!" They rolled to a stop, and Celestia exited first, letting the others through the front doors of the vehicle. The two day flight back from the island meeting had let everyone catch up on any rest they had lost during their visit with the dignitaries. Luna trotted out, dreamy look still evident on her face, though she had mostly returned to normal. Spy was next, popping his back loudly after sleeping rather ungracefully on floors for the past few days. Trixie levitated the spoils she gathered on the island, while Soldier avoided the door altogether and climbed over the side. He landed flat on his back, but quickly popped back up.

"Okay, everypony! Excellent job!" Celestia cheerfully shouted to the guards. "You all may take your well deserved rests." The guards trotted away. Luna nodded and went off to her room to unpack. Celestia turned to the rest of her compatriots. "Ms. Trixie, as we discussed, you will be allowed a few hours worth of study in the Canterlot Archives. I will send a guard with you to let you in. I suggest you not squander this opportunity." Trixie nodded with excitement, and a guard led her away. Celestia then turned to Spy. "Spy, we must discuss a few things." She started to trot toward her chamber, and he kept pace until Soldier came up behind them.

Spy groaned, turning to the stallion. "Soldier, stay here until we can figure out what to do with you."

"Why would I do that? You owe me for that bagel you stole, crouton."

"Fine, even though I didn't take your stupid pastry, if you stay here I will get you a bagel."

"That bagel was good. Real good. Maybe even one of the best. You can't just replace it!"

"Well it's the only deal you're gonna get! I suggest you think about it."

The loudmouth finally stopped complaining, sitting down. His eyes, though hidden by the helmet, turned contemplative.

"Let's go," Spy said. "He'll be like that for a while." The two entered the grand hall, leaving Soldier out on the court.

“...And with a little magic, I dropped the snow on her, and the war ended.” Spy finished his story. He’d gone into a fair amount of detail about the war that had taken up the last few days.

"You handle yourself well in stress." Celestia finally commented. The light passing through the stained glass window painted the room in bright colors. Spy lowered his head, trying to seem humble.

"When you've been around the people I have, you learn to deal with things you never thought you would."

"Of course. After all, 2Fort isn't what most would call normal, now, is it?"

Spy's muscles all tensed at once. He felt the air grow heavy, and he barely suppressed a gasp. 'Teufort... but that would mean...' He turned to her as she gave him a meaningful look. "You know?"

Celestia suppressed a slight laugh. "When Twilight sent me those letters, it didn't take much work to figure out who they belonged to. Mentioning ‘Ma petite chou fleur’ was certainly a glaring hint. I know more about your world than you think I do.” She glanced upward, as if she were calculating something. “I've known Saxton for a few years, now. Not to mention the time I've put into the game myself." She chuckled.

"I don't understand..."

Celestia's horn gleamed, and a soft glow enveloped a nearby piece of cloth. She slipped it onto her wrist, revealing the Mann Co. logo. "One of Luna's games. She's gone to other games, and I do need something to do in my free time, after all. I’ve kept tabs on you mercenaries and all the things you go through."

Spy stared, slightly slack-jawed. "So... you hired me because you already knew who I was?"

Celestia nodded, and started to speak again. As she did, however, a guard came barreling in. "Princess, your assistance is needed!"

She looked at him with a frown. "What is it?"

"Some earth pony is attacking the castle! The guards are fighting him-"

"Perfect," She interrupted. "The guards are doing what they're supposed to. Now how is a crazy earth pony attacking worth barging in on me?"

"Your highness, he's winning." Celestia paused, jaw agape at the thought of an earth pony taking down her guards.

Spy piqued up. "What does he look like?"

The guard tilted his head. "Uh... White coat, green hair-"

"Army helmet, rocket cutie mark?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Celestia and Spy exchanged a look, then ran outside, catching sight of the problem.

"Bring it on, ladies!" Soldier shouted atop a few unconscious guards. A pegasus charged at him. He flipped over the guard, landing a kick on his back to make the guard slam into the ground. A second one tried, and he jumped, landing on the guard’s back. Soldier wrapped his arms around the stallion’s neck, steering him around. "You call yourself soldiers!? You couldn't win an arm wrestling match, let alone a war!"

A white glow enveloped him, and he was yanked off the guard, floating to the ground. Celestia brought him to her eye level. "Let me go! Freedom!" He swiped at Celestia, but a quick movement placed him upside-down and hogtied. "Coward!"

Celestia dragged him back to the room, along with Spy.

"I could banish you, you know that right?" Celestia paced back and forth in front of the cage holding Soldier. Philomena sat atop the cage, not happy about having her home turned into a makeshift prison. "You knocked out twenty guards, gave the captain a concussion, and cracked two of the cadet's trainer's ribs."

"They started everything. I won't sit by and be called things like 'Hey you'!"

Celestia sighed. Spy raised a hoof. "I'm not trying to defend him, but I don't think banishment or imprisonment will do much. He has a way of finding his way into wherever he wants to be."

"So I've noticed." She had a noticeable edge in her voice. She grew silent, pacing again. Finally she turned to them. "I have decided. Your punishment, Soldier... is that you are in charge of teaching the new cadets."

There was a long silence. "What?" Spy asked.

She turned, pacing again as she spoke. "I'll be honest. While I am certainly not happy about you causing so much damage, there's something to be said about your tactics. If you could teach those combat tactics to these recruits, they could become an amazing section. I may even bring you on full time if you do well enough. In exchange, I will waive the crimes you committed. However, I will be keeping an eye on you, and should you try to leave or dissent in any way, you will be imprisoned immediately. You will have one month while the rightful trainer heals. At the end of that, I will ask the recruits to give their opinions on you. Is this acceptable?" She turned back to see Soldier out of the cage, pondering.

"I suppose that will work." He walked up to her, saluting her. “You have my honor, Princess.” Celestia sent him to a spare room, far from anypony else.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Spy asked.

"I have no idea..."

The new cadets stood in a line, chatting with one another before their captain arrived.

"Snowstorm, you don't know what you're talking about. This will be a piece of cake." Typhoon, a white pegasus stallion, said to his sister.

"Uh huh, sure. Your slacker flank will be out so quick it'll leave an indent in the pavement." Snowstorm cast an annoyed glance at her brother. Like him, her coat was pure white.

"Yeah, right. You're lucky you're even here. You know they don't usually recruit mares."

"I know. You, Dad, and the recruiting office were quick to tell me that." A shrill whistle stopped all the conversation between the recruits. They stood at attention, and caught sight of their new commanding officer.

The stallion paced in front of them, clearly showing that somehow an earth pony had been put in charge of the pegasus recruits. He turned to them. "If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it." He poked Typhoon's helmet, eliciting a slight scoff. "Now, I will teach you how battles should be fought! The Sun Tzu way! Gritty! Bloody! And with! NO! MERCY!" He shouted at the group. They saluted, with the exception of Typhoon. "Now, I will need to understand your abilities to their fullest. So I have set up this obstacle course." He turned, revealing a large wooden set of rings and spikes. An alarming number of them were on fire. The cadets gulped at the terrifying sight. "Unfortunately, the stuff-shirts up in the castle wouldn't let me use it. Instead the course will be these basic hoops. He pointed to the built-in hoops on the course. "Fly through those as fast as you can. As you finish, I will assign the nickname you will be called for the remainder of my time here. Like so. You!"

He pointed to a yellow colored pony with silver hair. "What's your name, maggot?"

"Lightning Rod."

"Fly the course as fast as you can. GO!" The pegasus took off, flying through the course at a decent pace. He landed in front of Soldier, panting.

"How... was that?"

"Good, for a first grader! Your new name is Snoozer, because you almost put me to sleep! Give me laps around the course until I tell you to stop!" The hopeful lowered his head, and started to fly towards the course again. "No, not that one! MY course!" He gulped, and then flew in that direction. "Watch for falling debris! The fire's made it flimsy!" He turned to the rest. "As for the rest of you, try not to follow Snoozer's lead. I want a show and I better see one!"

One by one they would take off, going at their top speed through the course, then return to their new commander. When they landed, he would call out a nickname for them.

"Eggnog! Hamster! Kilroy! Splat!" Finally it got down to Typhoon.

'Pft,' he thought, 'these losers have no idea how to fly. I'm gonna have to show them how it's done. Especially that stupid Earth Pony officer.' The Soldier signaled, and Typhoon took off toward the other set of obstacles. He darted between rings, narrowly avoided a set of spikes, and flew through the blazes. Unfortunately, his hind leg caught a hoop, sending him spiraling into other rings. After bouncing between the rings, he landed with a thud. He stood up and walked back to the group.

"What's your name, maggot?" Soldier glared.

"Typhoon." He panted.

"Shame, I was going to call you that. Because that was a NATURAL DISASTER! That was a disgrace! But I will not call you by your real name. Now get in line, Toaster Oven."

"Toaster Oven!? Of all the names you could pick, why that one!?"

"Because you're on fire, stupid." Typhoon turned around, seeing his tail on fire. He yelled, running in circles. Soldier grabbed him by the shoulders and delivered a head butt. Typhoon dropped to the ground, dazed. He sat up a bit to see Soldier tossing dirt onto his tail. "By the way, you call me Sir, Twinkletoes."

"Next!" He shouted, leaving Typhoon to pick himself out of the dirt. Snowstorm smirked at her brother, then took off for the correct course. She flew gracefully, dodging everything perfectly, albeit slower than most that had gone. She flew back.

"Well done. You maggots could learn something from Glacier over here." She cast a smug grin at her brother as she lined up next to him.

"Well, you weren't ALL awful, which is more than I expected. Go to your quarters. We're getting up at 0500 hours. Dismissed!"

"Can you believe that!?" Typhoon threw the closest thing he had, a pillow, across the room. It thumped harmlessly against the opposite wall. Snowstorm laughed.

"It's your own fault, y'know. You're the idiot that went to the wrong course."

"Shut up. I'm not gonna let some stupid Earth Pony tell me I'm not good at flying. I'll show him tomorrow." The lights went out, and both siblings soon fell asleep.

Hours later, they were awoken by a bugle's reveille. Snowstorm hopped out of bed quickly while Typhoon practically fell out of bed. "Wake up, Toaster Oven." She chuckled.

"Oh shut up," He said through his blankets. They quickly got dressed and lined up. "I hope you slept well, ladies, because you'll be busy all day."

"Yeah, no." Typhoon flew off, resting on a cloud.

"Private Toaster Oven! Get your sorry flank down here!"

"I don't really feel like it. You can't really do a whole lot about it, since you're stuck on the ground."

"If you don't get down here the rest of your squad will pay for it!"

"They can fly too, y'know. Anyone who would care about getting punished would just come up here with me!"

Soldier seethed. He snapped toward the group. "You maggots run laps. I will be back, and if I find any of you on those clouds you will face the same punishment of Private Toaster Oven." He stormed away. They looked at each other, then shrugged, running slow laps.

He came back about twenty minutes later. "One last chance, Toaster Oven. Come down or you WILL feel the pain tomorrow."

"Ooh, dealing with it tomorrow. Yeah, I'll pass."

"You leave me with no choice." Soldier pulled out a small piece of rope.

"Pft," Typhoon scoffed. "I don't think you can lasso me from there, Tex. It's a good 20 feet up here." He laughed.

"Perfect." Soldier reared up, then slammed his hooves into the ground. He flew upward, fire trailing from his hooves, until he was at eye level. He wrapped Typhoon in a bear hug, then the two began plummeting to the ground. Soldier took the brunt, though the landing still dazed the snappy pegasus in his grip. With a quick turn, Soldier had the colt's wings tied to his sides. "I don't need wings to fly! You, however, do! NOW RUN YOUR LAPS, MAGGOT!" Typhoon ran off in fear, though as he rounded the corner his fear quickly turned to anger.

'How dare he tie me up like some animal!' He thought. His wings tugged at their restraints, but no matter how hard he tried the rope stayed tight. 'Stupid jerk. I'll get out of these soon enough!'

Snowstorm slipped the knife under the rope, pulling up and slicing through the bonds. Typhoon stretched his wings, the muscles sore from the day of being bound. "You really should listen to him, Typhoon. You're acting like a child."

"He tackled me from twenty-five feet and tied me up and you're on HIS side?" His brow furrowed.

"To be fair, that was pretty cool. But I would side with him even if it wasn't. Just do what he asks; you're here to learn to be a soldier, right?"

"Yeah, and that means I want combat, not stupid obstacle courses and lap running. And I refuse to let some Earth Pony tell me that I'm not fit to be in the service."

"I think he's proven he's better at combat than you." She held up the rope.

"Whatever, he caught me off guard. I'll get a higher point tomorrow."

Snowstorm rolled her eyes. The two nodded off.

The next day, Typhoon followed a similar course of actions. He flew high into the sky, pulling a cloud with him and relaxing on it. "Private Toaster Oven! I see you didn't you learn your lesson yesterday!"

"That's where you're wrong. You're not gonna get me up here, pops. I'm about thirty or so feet higher than I was yesterday, and I'm willing to bet you can't pull off a jump that high."

"No, I can't. But I have a better method of getting you down!" He turned around, reaching into a crate at his feet. A few moments later, he turned around, a sleek looking rifle in his hooves. Soldier looked down the sights, aiming it at Typhoon.

"Whoa, is that a-" An intense pain in his side shut him up. 'H-he shot me!' Typhoon clutched his stomach. He looked down to see his hoof coating in red. "You maniac! Are you trying to kill me!?"

"Oh relax, Toaster Oven! A little paint won't kill ya!"

'Paint?' He looked again. The red liquid on his hoof was too light to be blood. He sniffed it. 'It's paint... Wait' His brain pieced the information together. "You shot me with a paintball gun!?"

"And I'll do it again! Now get down here!"

"What is wrong with yo-" A shot hit his shoulder. "OW! Knock it off-" Another shot pegged him in the chest.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to use my secret weapon!" Soldier turned around again, pulling a small white object from the crate. With a mighty heave, the object was sent hurtling towards the cadet.

He squinted to try to ascertain what exactly was flying at him. 'Is that... a rabbit?'

A very angry looking bunny wrapped itself around his neck. Typhoon screamed, trying to shake the animal by flying around, but it held tight. It grabbed his mane, pulling him toward the ground. The two rocketed towards the ground, every movement controlled by the bunny. Right before landing the rabbit hopped off. Typhoon spread his wings and tried to slow himself down as best he could, but hit the ground rather hard; He lay on his stomach, aching from the landing. He looked up at the triumphant commander, who now had the bunny sitting on top of his helmet.

"Angel here is a better soldier than all of you combined. He is what a soldier should be. Strong, confident, hard-working, and above all, loyal. It's a sad day when you need to learn these lessons, private. In fact, I'm sick of dealing with you. You're going home. The others put in their work, but you? You aren’t fit in the least. Go home. Learn some respect. Maybe then I'll have a use for you."

Typhoon's expression changed immediately to one of fear-based anger. "Y...Y-you can't do that! You can't send me home!"

"I can and will, Private. Go back to your bunk. Your refusal to follow my rules has been costing time. You're a liability. Go back to your bunk, pack your things, and I will see you off tonight after the part of the group that is actually COMPLYING with me is finished. Now get out of my sight!"

He slowly picked himself off the ground, and trotted toward his bunk. The gravity of the situation finally hit him as he set foot inside. 'I'm... going home... After three days... Just one big ball of success, ain't ya?' He sat down on the bed.

He packed his stuff into the duffle bag he brought with him. Not long after he finished, Snowstorm walked in. She didn't say anything at first, though her expression was one of pity. She repeatedly opened her mouth, as if she was trying to muster up something to say, but she couldn't get it out.

"Its fine, Snow." He was quiet, like he didn't want to be heard. "I guess you were right. I screwed up... I'm sorry." He hugged his sister. "Make sure you write. I guess I'll try again next year."

There was a knock on the door, signaling Soldier's arrival. Typhoon slung his pack over his shoulder and opened the door.

"Come with me, Private." The two left, closing the door quietly behind them, leaving Snowstorm alone in an empty room.

The walk to the gate was silent. It was a short distance, but Typhoon felt as if he were walking miles. They stopped in front of the gate.

"Private, let me tell you something before I send you off."

'Oh great. I get to be lectured before I leave,' he thought.

"War is a lot more complicated than she seems. Sure, on the surface, she's beautiful, seductive, single, and she subscribes to your favorite magazine. But she's crueler than she lets on. You're not allowed to have friends with war. Because it'll pit you against them at some point. You don't question it. War ain't pretty, son. Is that really what you want?"

Typhoon thought for a moment. "... I don't want war to happen. I'm trying to be a guard, to prevent things like war from taking everything. But yes, I am loyal to Celestia, and I will do what it takes to defend both her and Equestria from harm. Someday I hope to be a guard, but I guess I have a lot to learn. I..." He swallowed hard, trying to force the word out. "I apologize for how I acted. I felt gypped that I was being commanded by someone who technically isn't qualified to be a guard. Although I guess if you had wings you'd be more than overqualified."

There was a silence between the two for a while. "It takes a big man to say things like that Private. Screw-ups aren't allowed in war. Screw up once and your squad dies... The same is true of a guard. Failing to protect your VIP just once is all it takes. But... I'm willing to give you one last chance."

"W...what?" Typhoon was awestruck.

"We all have dreams, son. Mine is to teach you lack wits how to be the best you can. You have one last chance until the end of the month when the control of this group goes to the next guy. If you act up at all for the next three weeks, you're out of here. This is the only deal you're gonna get, Private Toaster Oven. What do you say?"

Typhoon stared for a bit, then nodded excitedly. "Yes sir!" He ran back to the bunks, eager to start again.

Soldier looked to his hooves. Angel sat there, looking at him with a cocky grin.

"Don't you look at me like that. I'm just giving the kid a break. It's not like I'm getting soft."

Angel gave him a smirk and raised one eyebrow.

"What are you implying, rabbit?" Soldier growled.

Angel looked off nonchalantly, then cast a grin at him.

"That's it, I'm not afraid to beat up a bunny!" Soldier dove at the animal.

~A few seconds later~

"AUGH! UNCLE!"

Three weeks later, the group had come into its own. Soldier had taught them all of the combat, training, and ideals he could put forth in the short amount of time. No one dared to butt heads with him after Typhoon's experience. The day arrived soon enough. Celestia walked onto the court. Soldier saluted, followed quickly by the cadets.

"At ease" They lowered their hooves. "I wish to speak to each of you regarding Soldier's style of teaching. This will be done in a one-on-one environment. I see that you are already lined up. One at a time I will call you into the building. Understood?"

"Yes your highness." They all responded. The first pony went in. A few minutes later, he came out, and the next pony in line took his place. This continued for a long while, until it got to the final pony in line: Typhoon. He walked in, standing opposite the princess as the doors closed.

"Now I would like you to be honest. What do you think of Soldier?"

He paused, thinking of what he wanted to say. "Your highness, if I am to be honest, Soldier is loud, rude, and violent. He's head butted students for not complying, put us through brutal training regimens, and there were many instances of discipline that was over-the-top. However... The training I've received in the last month has changed me considerably. I recommend Soldier as a trainer, though you may want to give him some guidance so he doesn't get too out of hoof."

"Thank you. You are dismissed."

Typhoon left, taking his spot back in line. Celestia exited the room. "You have all given me quite a bit to think about. Almost every single one of you noted how hard Soldier pushes you. However, most of you feel as though you are better for the experience. So Soldier will stay as a commander of the brand new recruits, to weed out the ones who are not fit and to make those that are strong and willing to fight. You will now be turned over to the commanding officer you were supposed to have in the first place, Commander Firehawk." She turned to Soldier. "You have done well. Please follow me." The two left, and a blazing red pegasus took their place.

"Good afternoon, men. Now that you are in my hooves, your training can truly begin. Now, your previous instructor gave me a list of names, but due to how ridiculous most of these are I will not be calling you by them. Time for role call. Private Typhoon?"

"Toaster Oven."

"Excuse me?" Firehawk tilted his head in confusion.

"I am loyal to my commanding officer, sir; therefore I will accept the codename he gave to me. Toaster Oven, if you would, sir."

Firehawk scowled. "Fine. Private Toaster Oven?"

"Present."

Someone Like Me

"Everyone ready?" Twilight grinned at the group before her.

"One question... Why am I here again?" Medic looked at the wires that were taped to him. A helmet covered in similar wires rested on his head. Next to him, Pyro, Heavy, and Soldier were in similar setups, although Soldier was tied in his chair after he headbutted Spike trying to escape. The wires led to the complex machinery in the center of Twilight's basement.

"Ever since Pyro showed me that she could do magic, I've been trying to find similar occurrences. I couldn't find any research into non-unicorns performing magic. I wasn't sure how she could possibly do it, until Soldier was reported to jump 25 feet-"

"27 feet, thank you."

"Anyway, after that I asked Pyro if there were any other occurrences in your world that were magic-like. She mentioned Heavy could do some kind of 'finger-gun', and Scout could jump in mid-air. Although Scout's ability is kinda redundant now, it's worth noting. I think the non-unicorn magic might be because you aren't from this world. I need to do some tests. First, their magic versus a regular unicorn from our world, and second their magic versus a unicorn from their own world."

"So you're going to test using yourself?"

"Oh my, no. I don't want to skew the results with expectations. Rarity is supposed to be here soo-" A knock on the door interrupted her. "That must be her. Spike!" She called up the stairs. "Could you get the door?"

A few seconds later, Spike opened the door, ice pack firmly planted on his head. A sea green pony walked down the stairs. "Hey Twilight." She said.

"Oh, hi Lyra. What are you doing here?"

"I went over to Carousel Boutique to pick up a dress, and Rarity said that she was super busy. She sent me over to tell you she can't make it."

"Shoot. I need her as a constant... Say, you wouldn't mind helping me out, would you Lyra?"

"Uh, sure I guess. With what?"

"I need a baseline to test magic against. Once I hook you up, I'd need you to perform some basic magic so that I can record it. Whole thing would take ten, twenty minutes at most."

"Uh... alright." There was a little bit of apprehension in her voice after seeing Soldier essentially bolted to his chair. "This won't hurt or anything, right?"

"No, no... well, it shouldn't." Lyra looked concerned, but set her bag down. Twilight's horn glowed, and wires began circling Lyra. A helmet plopped onto her head. "Now, could you please do a bit of magic?"

"Sure." Lyra's magic surrounded her bag, opening it and pulling out her lyre. She played a simple melody on it. "That enough?"

Twilight looked at the readout the machine produced. "I think so. This looks like a good set. Thank you." Twilight pulled the wires off and set them aside. "Tell Bon Bon I said hi."

"Will do. See ya, Twilight." She put her bag back on and trotted up the stairs and out of the room. Twilight turned back. "And now for your tests... Where'd Soldier go?" They all turned to see the restraints empty and a hole dug in the floor, leading outside.

Medic sighed, slumping onto the bench and hanging his head behind it. After an exhausting chase to rewrangle Soldier that had ended in nothing but failure, Twilight decided to try again once Soldier was back under control.

"Mein Gott... Why couldn't he run zat fast when we were trying to capture ze intelligence?" He sighed. He lifted his head to see the pony from earlier standing a few feet away, staring at him with her head cocked. 'Lyra, zat was what Twilight called her, right?' He wondered.

Suddenly her eyes lit up, and she rushed over to him, smiling wide. She stopped before him. "So, is there a reason you're sitting like that?" She asked with a knowing grin. He looked at his position again. 'Nothing unusual, I think.' His legs hung from the front, and he sat upright.

"It's how I normally sit?" He was starting to become apprehensive toward the unicorn in front of him. 'What does she want?' he wondered as he shuffled uncomfortably.

She grinned wide. "You're a human, aren't you?"

Every muscle in his body tensed. 'H...h-how does she know?' His mind raced. His eyes darted back and forth, hoping nothing was in earshot to hear the accusation. "Y-you must be mistaken," he said through a suddenly dry mouth. "I-I do not know what you are talking about."

"I think I know a human sitting position when I see one."

"I-I'm sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else."

Lyra looked down at the ground. "Oh." An air of disappointment resonated in her voice. "Sorry to waste your time then. I didn't mean to insult you. Forgiveness high-five?" She held her hoof up.

'Oh zank god,' he thought. He reached his own hoof out, lightly slapping her hoof.

"AHA! I KNEW IT!" She shouted. Medic recoiled. "A high five is something only a human would know. Plus using someone instead of somepony, and your sitting position? You're a human, and there's no use denying it!"

Medic futilely attempted to shush her. "Fine, I'll admit it, but please stop shouting!"

Lyra blushed slightly. "Oops. Sorry. I get a little excitable sometimes. Especially meeting other humans."

'Other?' The word stuck out in his mind. 'Has she met the others?'

"Here, a group of friends of mine meet every week in Bon Bon's shop. They're humans too, so it should be fun. Our meeting was last night, so how about next Wednesday you come over at 8-ish?"

He was taken aback. 'Other humans... what is going on here?' "I will zink about it and get back to you." He wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation, and his brain was essentially running on autopilot.

"Great, let me know ASAP, I want to make sure we have enough food. See ya!" She started trotting away, leaving the dumbfounded doctor. "Oh!" She turned around again. "I didn't catch your name!"

"Uh... Medic."

"Look, calm down, man," Scout followed the pacing stallion with his eyes. In the back room the two stallions had invaded Ms. Pauling's paperwork for her new position as an intern for the Mayor. While she sat quietly writing, Medic had sought advice from the team. Unfortunately Scout and Ms. Pauling were the only two he could find in his panic. "This isn't that big of a deal."

"Of course it's big deal! Don't you know what always happens when some anomaly is found in ze world?"

"Dey charge ya 20 bucks to see it in the sideshow?"

"No, you oaf! Experiments! I vill not be somezing to be poked and prodded on a lab table!" He slammed his hoof on the desk in front of him for effect, shaking the table and earning an angry glare from Ms. Pauling.

"Look, calm down, Medic. While I agree this is a serious matter, panicking won't help." Ms. Pauling's eyes darted between the papers and the ponies, trying to multitask as much as possible.

"If you're so worried about going, why don't you just not go?" Scout asked

"Because what if she calls someone if I don't show?"

"I think dat panicking is affectin' your brain, cause dat doesn't make sense, Medic. Why wouldn't she call someone now if she was going to?"

"I don't know! But I can feel it! This isn't what she says it is, I just know it."

"Medic, I don't think we can really help you. You're going to have to decide on your own whether it's worth it or not." Ms. Pauling looked back at the stack of papers

Medic sighed. "I don't know if I can. I'm not exactly good at figuring out what to do on my own."

"If it's any consolation, I think you should do it." Scout said.

"I hope you can find what you're looking for, Medic. Now can you both leave? I need to do my paperwork."

"Aw, but we were just gettin to know each other." Scout raised an eyebrow at the mare suggestively. Ms. Pauling's face flushed.

She got up, pushing the two out. "Leave. Now." She slammed the door behind them.

"Heh. She digs me." Scout nodded at the doctor. Medic groaned, then left, searching for someone who could give him more concrete advice.

"Okay! Let's try this again!" Twilight was fuming, and a thick purple aura pinned Soldier to his chair, wires and belts coating most of his body so he couldn't escape again. Pyro, Medic, and Heavy waited for Twilight to finish tying Soldier in, shuffling uncomfortably. The aura disappeared.

"Let's get this over with." Twilight flipped the switch on the machine, and it whirred to life. A continuous sheet of paper started filing out, showing four line graphs. "Ok, Medic, lift this cup." She held up a mug. Medic concentrated, and a white aura surrounded the ceramic mug lifted into the air. One line on the graph showed a slight spike. He set the mug down. "Great. Now, Heavy, you do the same."

A powder-blue aura surrounded the mug. It rose up, then was set down again. A line jumped on the graph, though the spike was noticeably higher this time. "Good. Now, I want you to try that 'finger gun'" She raised an apple, placing it on a small table.

"But... I do not have fingers." He looked at his hooves, confused.

"I know, but maybe you can do it anyway. Just do whatever you did when you still had fingers and maybe it will work."

Heavy stood on his hind legs. His arms moved to his sides, miming a gun on both hips. he drew his hoof forward, pointing at the apple. "Pow!" The apple exploded with force, as did part of the table, and a small part of the wall behind them. Twilight and the group gaped in shock, and even Heavy looked a bit confused. "That hasn't happened before"

Twilight looked at the paper. A massive jump was recorded on it, a spike so large that part of it wasn't even on the paper. "I-I've never seen such a surge of energy. This is like raw magic! Unicorns aren't supposed to be able to tap into that latent energy! Ok, Pyro, your turn. I need you to do that fireball."

"Can do." Pyro stood next, put her hooves together and brought both to one hip. She thrust forward, and a tuft of flame came out. "That good?"

Twilight looked at the sheet. "Yes. Now, I need that larger scale one you mentioned. What did you call it?"

"Armageddon? I don't know, Twilight, it's got a bit of an area to it."

"Nonsense, It'll be fine!" Twilight's eyes were scanning the page, not even noticing the apprehension in Pyro's voice

"If you say so." Pyro said skeptically. She raised a hoof, wreathed in fire, above her head. She breathed deeply, then stomped, at the same time thrusting her fire-clad hoof toward the ground. a ring erupted from below her, briefly illuminating the room in a flash of hellfire. The blaze dissipated as quickly as it appeared, leaving no trace.

"Perfect. And now for you." She turned to the helmet clad stallion strapped to the chair. "It's time for your test."

"That's what you think!" Soldier ripped the bonds holding his arms off, then quickly shed the rest of the ties. "Our little Pyro's ring of fire loosened them! Sayonara, suckers!" He reared up and slammed the ground, flying up and through the floor. The wire that were still attached stretched taut and the fell off of him as he ascended.

"Wait, what are you doing up here?" "Outta my way, Dragon!" A heavy clang, followed by a light thud came from the hole. A door slammed.

"Well, on the bright side, I got the data." She looked at the paper, where everyone's magic was recorded. "I'll have to study this. But right now, I think I need to go wake up Spike." She trotted up the stairs, leaving the three teammates downstairs.

"Well that was... interesting." Pyro leaned back. "So how've you guys been?"

"Heavy's shop is doing well. Health inspector came by. Good review, except part where Demo nearly set him on fire. Not allowed to have high-proof whiskey for sale anymore."

"Damn, I liked that whiskey." She turned to the white unicorn on her other side. "What about you, Medic?"

"Actually, I have been having a bit of an issue." He told them about Lyra and her invitation.

"So what's the issue?" Pyro answered finally.

"Was Pyro not listening?" Heavy looked at the pegasus.

"No, I was listening. But I don't see why you're having issues with it. Seems pretty obvious to me you should go for it."

"Is tiny Pyro joking? It seems dangerous."

"Dangerous? It's a friendly invitation, Heavy."

"But why would she do this for no reason? She finds out Medic is human and suddenly wants to be friend? Seems like the fish to me."

"You mean fishy, Heavy, and maybe she just wants to be friends. Being paranoid isn't going to get anyone anywhere!"

The two began bickering incessantly, and Medic left, defeated, still confused, and no better for the experience.

The bench was cold, and all around him was a thick silence. The snow fell quietly, and Medic would call it a beautiful sight if he weren't deep in thought.

'No one has helped so far.' He replayed his chats one more time. 'Pyro and Scout are for it, Heavy is against it, and Ms. Pauling... I don't understand. This shouldn't be this difficult of a decision... I'm starting to be sick of being paranoid about this.' He sighed, then lowered his head.

After a few seconds, he heard a soft chittering sound. He looked up, and a raccoon was staring at him. He stared back. "I guess you do not have useful advice either, huh?" The raccoon disappeared down a hole, then popped back up immediately. It rose up, perched upon Soldier's helmet as the stallion came out of the ground, buried up to his shoulders.

"Soldier!?"

Soldier looked at the raccoon on his head. "Damn it, Nibbles! You gave away our position! Lieutenant Bites would be ashamed!" He turned to Medic. "Pauling said you were out around this area. I was trying to find you and plant a tracking chip."

"Tracking chip?"

"Since you were part of that group that's trying to find me, I 'borrowed' one of Engi's inventions: a tracking device. Unfortunately Sergeant Nibbles is nowhere near as competent at recon as he is at eating garbage." The raccoon crossed its arms. "I was hoping if I could keep track of you I could keep track of the others. Nibbles was supposed to let me know where you were so I could sneak up and implant you with it. Didn't expect him to tell me to come up right in front of your face."

"Soldier, Ms. Twilight is no longer looking for you. She said you were too destructive. Plus she got ze data she needed." He answered. There was an awkward silence between the two.

"So I headbutted that dragon for nothing?" Soldier finally said, obviously not happy with the wasted effort. Medic nodded. "Dammit. So why are you sitting on a bench in the middle of the night? If you're trying to hide from someone, you probably shouldn't be so easy to spot. Try a knothole in a tree, they're pretty secure. Might have to kick a few squirrels out, but after that you're golden."

"I'm not trying to hide from anyone, Soldier. I do not suppose Ms. Pauling told you about ze trouble I've been having?

"Oh yeah, the whole somepony's-figured-out-I'm-human thing."

"You vouldn't happen to have any advice, would you?" It felt strange asking someone so out-of-touch with reality for advice, but if Soldier was willing to give it Medic was willing to listen.

"Saurkraut, you have to go there. When she tries to capture you and turn you in to the freak show, you snap her neck!" He mimed the action, and his raccoon mimed falling over dead.

"Soldier, she is not trying to turn me in. Zis is some 'human group'. Maybe she can help me get used to zis place."

"Or maybe she's a spy and is going to lock you in a cage and throw peanuts at you! Do you want that? 'Cause I wouldn't! Except maybe the peanuts. That I wouldn't mind. That actually sounds pretty good, doesn't it, Nibbles?" The raccoon nodded. The two dug back into their hole, traveling off toward some unknown destination. Medic sighed. The quick conversation was about as useful as he expected.

He rolled the ideas around in his head. It all came down to that feeling. That feeling of not belonging. The rest of the team had adapted quickly, but they had made friends, had gotten jobs. But all he could think of was how out of place he felt. From the depths of his mind, an answer came to him.

'Being paranoid isn't going to get anyone anywhere!' Pyro's voice echoed in his mind.

A steely resolve began to form within him. 'I will be paranoid no longer.' He stood up. A quick glance at the clock tower showed him the time: 7:40. 'If I hurry, I should be able to make it on time.' He started trotting towards the confectionery, hoping he made the right choice.

He knocked on the door of the building marked with a large sign proclaiming “Bon Bon’s Bonbons”. A cream colored mare opened the door. "Sorry, but we're closed."

"Oh, I'm sorry, is zis not where Lyra is?"

"Oh, you're here for Lyra! Come on in." The door swung wide, and Medic trotted in. The smell of sweets was almost overpowering, although his mouth admittedly watered from the varieties of chocolate and other candies on display. "I'll lead you down in a minute, she's still setting up. You must be new, I haven't seen you around before. Plus Lyra's usual group knows she's not ready until about 8:30. " She chuckled, and Medic politely laughed.

"Yes, she talked to me about a week ago. Are you part of zis... group?" His nerves started to relax, as that tiny tinge of fear in the pit of his stomach that was convinced he would be stuffed in a bag on arrival slowly silenced itself.

"No, I'm afraid not. I support Lyra, though, so her friends are always welcome in my kitchen. I thought the whole 'identifying with humans' thing was a little strange at first, but it's harmless, so I don't really have an issue. It’s just one of her little eccentricities, y’know?"

A cog in Medic's mind finally slipped into place. 'Identify with humans... so she... she didn't actually mean Human-human!' He grinned in spite of himself, as his paranoia dispersed. 'It's still a secret!' After a few seconds he noted the awkward silence. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. "So what are you to her? Friend, sister?"

"For now, her friend and roommate." The sound of hooves came from a nearby door, and it swung open to reveal the unicorn in question. She grinned when she caught sight of Medic.

"Oh hey! You made it! A bit early, though, don't you think?"

"So I've been told."

"Well come on, come on down!" She led the way down the stairs, showing a warm colored basement. A coffee table was covered in all types of snacks, and a stack of movies. A pair of couches faced a fairly large screen television.

"The guys should be here right about..." A knock on the door interrupted her. "Now! I'LL GET IT!" She shouted, running up the stairs. She came back down a few seconds later with a group following her. "Medic, these are the guys. This is Walter" She pointed to a burly stallion with a flat-top haircut and a pair of orange sunglasses. "Jesús" She pointed to a brown coated stallion, much leaner than Walter but about as tall. "Donny" This time it was directed toward the light brown stallion behind Jesús. "And finally, The Dude" She pointed toward the blonde stallion with a beard and mustache who was bringing up the rear. "We all met in the bowling alley, and we've been having movie night ever since."

"Speaking of which, it's my turn to pick the movie." Walter walked toward the stack of movies.

"Walter, I don't want to watch another damn bowling movie. Let's let the new guy pick." The Dude said.

"That sounds pretty good. Medic, look through the movies, you can pick what's up first." Lyra nodded Medic toward the movies. He looked through them, all of them bearing similar names to ones from back home. He finally settled on one.

"Ooh, Stallion in the Iron Mask. Classic" Lyra put the movie in. The group sat on the couches, watching the film as Medic breathed a sigh of relief, happy he had made the right choice.

Christmas Special: A Hearth's Warming Smissmas

A wicked winter wind tugged on the scarf wrapped around the stallion's neck. The snow swirled around him angrily, as he squinted through a pair of goggles to see where he was going. The powder stopped his vision only a few feet in front of him, and large mounds of snow, making the trek difficult. After several minutes of pushing against the wind, he finally saw his destination.

The door to Heavy's shop opened, and the group inside looked toward the door. The white backdrop outside highlighted the stallion in a white parka, hood and ski mask blocking everything on his face except for the goggles covering his eyes.

"AH! IS WHITE DEATH!" Heavy dove behind Spy, covering his head.

"Get up you moron, it's only Sniper." Spy shook his head at the pathetic display. Heavy stood up as the Stallion removed his hood to reveal the Australian's mane.

"Cripes, it bloody freezin out. Not sure why you sent me to get the damn supplies, Heavy is used to this kind a' cold."

"Heavy was busy cooking." Heavy said indignantly as he returned to the kitchen, trying desperately to pretend his 'duck-and-cover' moment hadn't just happened.

Spy cleared his throat. "Pyro, Scout, and Engi were setting up the outside lights, Medic, Ms Pauling and I were decorating the inside, Demo's helping Heavy in the kitchen, and I have no idea where Soldier disappeared, but even if I did would you really trust him to get the right supplies? That leaves you or our guests." He turned to the keepers of the Elements of Harmony placing ornaments on the large tree decorating the next room over "They elected to decorate the tree."

"Fair point, though I'm still not happy about it." Sniper shrugged off the saddlebag around his shoulder.

"Did you get the stuff?" Pyro excitedly asked, bobbing slightly in anticipation. Sniper sighed, then reached into the pack, pulling out two large cartons of eggnog. "Woo!" She grabbed the cartons and rushed to the kitchen. "Demo! We got the nog! Get the rum!"

Sniper shook his head. "So when's her guest supposed to be here?"

"In a few minutes, I've been told. Something about picking up her child."

A light knock came from the door. They opened the door to show the town's resident mailmare and her filly. The two were wearing scarves, and Dinky was wearing an over-sized Christmas hat. "Ah, right on time. Come in." Spy closed the door behind the two as Derpy knocked the snow off of her ankles. The rest of the group came out to meet the mother and daughter.

"A bit chilly, isn't it?" She chuckled.

"You're telling me." Sniper shivered.

"Glad to see you could make it, Derpy." Twilight grinned.

"We were afraid something had happened," Fluttershy said

"We took our time. This blizzard's quite rough. Why did the weather team make such a powerful one, Dash?"

"Well uh... One of our new recruits decided she wanted to throw all of the storm clouds we had into the same storm. And the crew is so bare bones because of the holidays that we can't really fix it. It's not dangerous, though, so we should be fine. Just a lot of snow and some wind."

"Well, I hope it calms down. Customers are hard to get when their clothes are being blown across the street." Rarity huffed.

Derpy placed her saddlebag down, pulling out a present and placing it under the tree with the others. "So when is our Secret Celestia going to happen?"

"What, is the anticipation just killing ya?" Applejack chuckled

"I have to admit, I'm curious who drew me." Derpy grinned.

"We'll be opening presents in about an hour. Right now - " Twilight was cut off by the kitchen door swinging open.

"Is time for food!"

Dash let out a satisfied burp.

"Rainbow! Please try to act at least a little like a lady!" Rarity scolded

"What? It was good!" The platter of food was completely empty.

"It is okay, I take that as compliment!" Heavy chuckled.

"It was really delicious, Heavy." Pyro patted her stomach. She finished off her glass of eggnog "I think it's time for presents, don't you?"

"Yay, presents!" Pinky and Dinky said in unison. Pyro gave Dinky a small box. The filly looked to her mother, who nodded approvingly. She tore open the package, revealing a small doll. Dinky's horn glowed as she picked the doll up out of it's box. "It's so pretty. Thank you!"

"No problem, kiddo. I thought you'd like it." Pyro smirked.

"If you want, you can go play with Spike downstairs." Twilight offered.

"That sounds fun." Twilight led Dinky to the basement, then returned a few moments later.

"Thank you, Pyro, but you didn't have to do that." Derpy turned the the pegasus.

"Nonsense, it's Smissmus! I can't let her be dragged all the way out here and go home empty-hoofed!"

"Hearth's Warming Eve, Pyro. We're not in Teufort anymore, Smissmus isn't a thing here." Sniper said.

"Ah, whatever you want to call it, it's the holidays."

Twilight's horn glowed, and one by one the presents came out from under the tree. Twilight read each tag, then passed it to the correct pony.

"I must say, darling." Rarity said as her present rested in front of her. "That your filly is simply adorable. And so polite." The others nodded in agreement.

"Thank you. I raised her to treat ponies with respect, and it looks like she's learned that pretty well." Derpy smiled warmly.

Twilight grabbed the final box. "Alright, this should be it. Man, this one is pretty heavy" Her magic pulled the large box out, and a thud followed soon after. Soldier was latched tightly to the box, one hoof still in the tree. "Soldier? Where have you been? And why are you clinging to that box?"

"I've been in the tree for the last hour and a half! Why can't you people eat somewhere that isn't right next to my hiding spot!?"

"Why were you hiding in the first place!?"

"Because I -" He stopped suddenly, as if he realized something, then hid his eyes under his helmet, mumbling the rest.

"Because...?" Pinkie trailed off, trying to coax the answer from the stallion..He grumbled.

"Because my first gift was literally a can of old beans, and I needed to replace it without getting noticed. I didn't want to screw you over by giving you garbage, Pink" He admitted, a very strong air of defeat in his voice.

"Aw, thank you Soldier! I wouldn't have cared what gift it was, that put me in the holiday spirits all by itself!" She wrapped the stallion in a hug.

"GAH! Stop it! Stop hugging me!" Soldier yelled, wiggling out of her grasp.

"Well then, Pinkie, why don't you open your gift first?" Twilight suggested, trying to get the situation back under control. Pinkie pulled the large ribbon on the box, and revealed a crate.

"I thought you said you didn't give her trash." Scout joked, but he was silenced by an elbow to the ribs from Sniper. Pinkie lifted the lid and paused, eyes going wide.

"Is that what I think it is?" Engi asked.

"Yep. Chocolate pudding." Soldier said proudly. The crate was filled to the brim with the substance, emitting a sugary fragrance. Pinkie's face was frozen in one of the biggest smiles of joy that anypony present had ever seen. In a flash, she dove headfirst into the crate, swimming in the pudding.

"BEST PRESENT EVER!" She shouted, the started eating the pudding around her.

They all laughed at the display. "Alright, Pinkie, who did you get?" Pinkie's hoof raised out of the box like a periscope, then pointed toward Ms. Pauling.

The pegasus gulped, not sure what to expect from somepony as strange as Pinkie. She opened the lid to find a bag of coffee beans, a mug, and a cupcake. "Coffee things? How'd you know I drink?"

"I didn't, but you're always kinda cranky in the morning, so I figured you could use them." Pinkie hung halfway out of the box, looking like an excited puppy.

"I certainly can, thank you. My gift was to Demo."

The Scotsman pulled the wrapping paper off, revealing a set of glasses for any kind of drink he would need.

"Maybe now you'll stop drinking right out of the bottle." Ms. Pauling said with a half-lidded stare.

"I wouldn't count on tha'" Demo took a swig of his bottle. "But I thank ye for tha sentiment. I'll put 'em to work at tha bar. Twilight, ye got my gift."

Twilight lifted the lid, and found a bottle of Scrumpy with a red ribbon tied around its neck. "Oh goody. Alcohol." Twilight said, obviously not enthused.

"Eh, ye enjoyed it in Teufort. Just keep it handy if ye need to loosen up ever."

"Alright, I gave my gift to Scout." Scout tore open his package quickly, finding a large book.

"A book? Twi, I don't read much."

"I know, but I thought you'd find in interesting. It's a history of Equestria. I figured since you liked learning about our history in your own world, maybe you'd like to do a little bit of learning about it now that you're in it."

"Y'know, there are a few things I wanted to look up. Thanks Twi." He started pawing through the pages, then began reading.

"I got his gift." Sniper said after a few uncomfortably quiet seconds. Scout sheepishly closed the book. "I'll read it later" he said. Sniper opened the box, finding a tiny toy camper van. "I thought you'd like a little reminder of you're old home. Is that close enough?" Scout smirked, laughing at his own joke. Sniper frowned slightly, but then smirked, taking the jab in good fun.

"You certainly got me pegged, mate. Moving on, Fluttershy was who I got." The yellow pegasus, who had stayed quiet throughout most of the proceedings, nodded and smiled. She unwrapped a large quilt.

"Oh my, it's beautiful."

"I figured you could use one, for the animals or cold nights or whatever."

She smiled at Sniper, then wrapped herself in the quilt's warmth. "Thank you. My gift went to Soldier, but that puts us back at the start."

"It's fine, Fluttershy. We'll start the next chain after Soldier." Twilight explained, then looked to Soldier. The stallion shredded the paper surrounding his present: An entrenching tool, brand new and gleaming slightly.

"Ah, a new one! How did you know I broke my last one?" He looked at Fluttershy suspiciously.

"I didn't, Angel and one of my raccoons pointed it out when I was out shopping. I figured they wanted to get it for you."

"I'll have to both promote that rabbit for getting me the perfect gift and demote him for giving out my secrets."

"So he's right back to where he started?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes. Make sure you pass that information along."

"Will... do?" Fluttershy looked confused, but shook it off

"Before we go on, I wanted to give Spy this." Rarity pulled out a present from her bag, magic adjusting the bow with a flourish. "I'm so sorry you weren't here when we decided all of this, so here you go. Now everyone's getting something."

"I appreciate it, Miss Rarity, but it isn't necessary. I'm just happy to be back." He opened the lid, and stared for a second. "Although I'm not going to complain." A gold pocket-watch emerged, an image of an owl swooping down for the kill engraved on the front.

"Once I saw the engraving, I just had to get it for you. Not quite as elegant as the hummingbird on the Dead Ringer, but it will do."

"Indeed." He opened it up, turning it to the correct time and winding it.

"So who was your actual Secret Celestia, Rarity?"

"Our gracious host." She turned to Heavy. The unicorn opened his present and grinned wide. He pulled out a sleek top hat. The band was red, and inside it held a small buckle that was shaped like a sandvich. "I figured a hat would fit you perfectly."

Heavy put it on his head, then looked in a nearby mirror. "Hmm... needs something, but what... ah!" His horn glowed, and a thick mustache appeared. "Now is perfect!" Rarity giggled. "Medic, you are up!" Heavy called out, still admiring himself in the mirror.

Medic opened up a bright white lab coat. "Ah, perfect. I needed a new one. Zank you, Heavy. My gift was to Rarity"

Rarity carefully unwrapped the paper, not tearing a single piece. She pulled out a set of fuzzy, blue socks. "I kind of panicked, and socks was all I could think of."

"Don't worry about it, they're perfect. Warm socks in winter are always welcome." Rarity grinned.

"Engi, why don't you go next?" Derpy said. "I'm curious how you'll like it."

Engi opened the bag in front of him, pulling out a sparkling, brand-new multitool. "Ooh, shiny."

"It's 21-in-1. I assume you can put it to good use?"

"A-course. Thank ya kindly. Applejack, you're next."

Applejack opened the package to find a large basket, similar to the ones she utilized during Applebucking season. "Great! We needed a new one after Apple Bloom tried turning one into a go-kart." Engi nodded. Applejack turned to the cyan pegasus beside her. "Dash, I got you."

Dash looked at the envelope before her. "Geez, AJ, don't spend all your bits on me." She joked.

"Maybe you should open it before you judge it."

"Okay fine, I'm just kidding." Dash opened the envelope, revealing a few strips of paper.

"Congrats, you can now get to the front of the line during cider season."

"Yes!" Dash pumped her fist in the air. "Not gonna clean them out this year, Pinkie!"

"Ah thought you'd like it."

"Pyro, you're up." Dash slipped the tickets back into the envelope for safe keeping. Pyro opened up a pair of large flight goggles.

"Sweet! These are pretty cool, Dash!"

"No prob."

"Alright, Derpy, we've saved the best for last." Pyro grinned. Derpy opened her present, pulling out a large book. She opened it, only to find blank pages.

"I'm afraid I'm a bit confused, Pyro."

"It's a new diary. I know your journal was starting to get really full when I read it back in Teufort. By now you must be writing in the margins."

Derpy's eyes took on a very thankful appearance in contrast to the confusion a few moment prior. "I don't know what to say. Thank you so much."

Everyone marveled at their gifts for a few minutes, until Twilight cleared her throat.

"Well, now that we've all opened our gifts, there's one last one I need to open." She pulled out a small box. Opening the lid, she revealed several golden tickets. "I talked to Celestia, and she gave us enough tickets that all of us can go to the Grand Galloping Gala again this year!"

"Oh how wonderful!"

"Grand Galloping Gala? What is that?" Engi asked.

"It's basically a giant fancy party." Scout answered.

"I'm surprised we're invited back after last time." Dash noted.

"I had to promise we'd be on our best behavior. Although remember that last year she said we livened the party quite a bit."

They began talking about their plans, their gifts, and just anything else that could come up, long into the night. It was Spy who realized they were closing in on midnight when he looked at his watch.

"Do you realize what time it is?" He asked the group. They paused, then looked at the clock almost in unison.

"One minute to midnight..." Sniper said.

There was a long pause as everyone realized what it meant. The fire was crackling softly, and the large tree behind them lit the room in blues and greens. Pyro grinned wide "10!" She called out. "9! 8!"

The others caught on, one by one joining in. "7! 6! 5!"

Demo and Pyro raised their glasses of eggnog "4! 3!"

Twilight couldn't help but smile at the spectacle. Here they were, a bunch of grown mares and stallions, shouting at the clock like a bunch of excited foals. "2! 1!" The clock struck midnight, letting out a chime.

"Merry Smissmas everypony!" Everyone shouted at once. “And a happy Hearth’s Warming Eve!”

Marks

The measuring tape wrapped around Sniper's leg. Rarity looked closely, then wrote down another number on the slowly growing list of measurements.

“I didn't know you'd need this many measurements, Rarity."

"Well, some seamstresses might only take two or three, but I pride myself on making everything fit absolutely perfectly. Now hold still for just a touch longer. I have one more to take." She wrapped the tape around his chest, marking the final number with a flourish. "There we go! I must say, I'm glad to see you came in so quickly for your fitting. I have a distinct feeling the others are going to take a bit more pestering." She put the notepad and measuring tape on her desk as Sniper stepped off the small pedestal. "I can't believe I get this chance. Sales at the boutique jumped quite a bit after last year's Gala. Can you imagine what will happen when they see the six dresses from last year plus two new designs AND a set of tuxedos? I'll have new business for months!" Rarity's eyes lit up as Sniper only tangentially listened.

"Uh huh." He prodded a small vase, then looked up at the white unicorn. "So how long do ya think it'll take?"

"Oh, a few days, once I get started. Now, I do need a few ideas for the theme. It's not going to be the spectacle that the dresses are, but I would still like to capture some personality in the tuxes. So tell me: are there any interests of yours?"

"Uh..." He thought long and hard. "Uh... I used to be an outdoorsman."

"Hmm... well, it's a start. Anything else? What about your cutie mark?"

Sniper froze.

"Well, come now, what is it? I'm sure it will give me something to work with."

He turned, showing that on his flank there was nothing.

"Bahaha! I can't believe you're a blank flank!" Scout laughed at the stallion. The two sat on a pair of bar stools in front of Heavy's bar. Heavy and Demo stood behind the counter, listening to the conversation.

"Yeah, cause I'm sure you figured it out the minute you set foot here." Sniper glared at the boy.

"Totally." Scout turned around, showing off the winged horse shoe on his flank. "I'm fast, I deliver the mail. It appeared exactly two days after we got here."

"Mine took about a week." Demo turned, revealing an explosion shaped mark.”In hindsight probably should have tried explosion based things a little quicker.”

"Heavy has sandvich for butt symbol!" Heavy showed that, indeed, a sandwich on a plate was apparently his calling in life. Sniper grimaced.

"You’re joking, right? I'm the only one?"

"Aye, lad." Demo nodded. "Maybe we can help ye get it?"

"Cheer up man. Maybe you can get a cutie mark for peein' in jars!" Sniper swung at Scout, but the pegasus deftly dodged the blow. Sniper stood up, and started heading out.

"I'll get my damn cutie mark, and I don't need none of your help to do it!" He slammed the door behind him. He started walking, not really with any purpose, taking stock of what he could possibly do. For the past six years, the only thing he'd done was kill things. 'That's not gonna fly in this world' he thought.

Suddenly a blur flying past him snapped him out of his trance. A crashing sound led his eyes to a set of three fillies, splayed about in front of a tree. Pieces of wood were scattered around the ground, along with a set of tires and what looked to be a small engine.

"I told you that wouldn't work, Scootaloo." The yellow filly said, getting up and dusting herself off.

"C'mon, you know that Go-kart Racers would have been an awesome cutie mark!"

Sniper trotted over to the girls. "Are you all okay?" He called out.

"Yeah, just a little sore." The white unicorn said. "Wait a second. I know you, you're one of Rarity's friends"

"Yeah, I'm Sniper." He tried to remember if he had seen the filly before, only coming up with a vague memory of when he first entered town. "You're Rarity's little sister, right?"

She nodded. "I'm Sweetie Belle, that's Scootaloo, and that's Apple Bloom." They nodded at him at their introductions.

"What were you doing that slammed you into a tree?"

"We were trying to get our cutie marks for go-karting. Seems like that's not what we're good at."

"Cutie marks?" Sniper's ears perked up. "You were trying to get your cutie marks?"

"A-course! After all..." There was a slight pause as Apple Bloom looked at her compatriots. "...We are the-"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" All three shouted at once. Out of instinct Sniper covered his ears. How three small fillies could be that loud eluded him.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders?" He wondered aloud, trying to get his hearing back.

"Totally! Wanna hear our theme song?" Scootaloo started drawing in breath, but Apple Bloom practically shoved a hoof in her mouth.

"Maybe later, Scoots. We gotta get over to Fluttershy's before it gets dark or she'll never let us try to get a badger-wrangling cutie mark" The three started towards the large tree in the distance where Fluttershy lived.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Badger wrangling? That sounds kinda dangerous"

"That's why we're goin’ to Fluttershy's! If they get out of hand, she can just stare em down!" Apple Bloom's chipper voice called back.

“I was actually about to head over to Fluttershy’s. I might as well go with you.” In truth, Sniper could already tell the three would be a handful for even an experienced pony. ‘Poor Fluttershy would be driven crazy!’ He thought, catching up to the fillies.

“Well, alright, ah suppose. Maybe you can give us ideas on what else we can do for a cutie mark.” Apple Bloom said without looking back. “Ah mean, anypony who has a cutie mark can help, right?”

“Er...” Sniper trailed off, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“What is your cutie mark anyway?” Scootaloo turned to the stallion. “I’m sure it’s something cool. Like two kangaroos boxing or something like that! That’s what it is, isn’t it!” She smiled wide.

“Ya see-” He tried to interject, but he was cut off by Sweetie Belle.

“Maybe we should ask for the story! I bet a cutie mark like that has an interesting story behind it.” The three looked at him expectantly.

“So how’d ya do it!? How’d you get a kangaroo boxin’ cutie mark?” Apple Bloom asked, smiling wide.

“I don’t have a bloody kangaroo boxin’ cutie mark!” He raised his voice. “I don’t have any cutie mark.”

“You mean...” Scootaloo looked to confirm the statement. Indeed, no image rested upon his flank. He sighed.

“Girls, emergency Crusader meetin’.” The three ducked behind a nearby tree. Sniper heard hushed whispers on the other side, though the overlap in voices and the quiet volume made it impossible to make anything out. After about a minute, the three stepped around the tree back into view.

“After talking it over, we are prepared to offer you a temporary position the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” Sweetie’s voice took on a very dignified tone. “Should you join us, we will help you with the utmost haste to get your mark.”

“Why’re ya talkin all funny, Sweetie?” Apple Bloom tilted her head.

“I saw it in a movie once.” Sweetie said under her breath.

“Er... I guess it wouldn’t hurt. Not like I’ve got much else to do during the day.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Perfect! Welcome, temporary member Sniper! Since you’re not a full member, we’re not going to put you through the initiation.” Sweetie grinned.

“Good, I still haven’t revised that thing.” Scootaloo said.

The crusaders headed toward the shack in the distance, and Sniper followed, confused as to exactly what had just happened.

“No, no, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Fluttershy repeated herself again. “The badgers are too dangerous for you girls to mess with.”

“What about him?” Scootaloo pointed at Sniper.

“Don’t throw me under the bus, kid.” He groaned

“I couldn’t forgive myself if you fillies got hurt trying something dangerous on my watch. Why not try wrangling something calmer? Like the bunnies?”

“Fluttershy, we’ve tried that before, remember? Angel tried to lead a revolution.” Sweetie said.

“Still don’t know how a rabbit builds a cannon out of a log.” Scootaloo rubbed her head, remembering some phantom pain.

“Look, Fluttershy, can I talk to you?” Sniper walked over to her, lowering his voice. “They’re not gonna give up on this. Is there maybe a small one that they can wrangle so they move on to the next thing?”

“...Now that you mention it, there’s a young one that’s about two months old. It’s calm enough for something like that. Plus I’ll be on hoof to stop it if things go too far...”

“There ya go.”

The group convened outside, and Fluttershy led a small badger to the front. After a few quiet words to it, the animal nodded, and then went running off.

“Alright Crusaders! After that badger!” Apple Bloom shouted. The three girls ran off, with Sniper reluctantly following. The badger swerved to avoid them. The three split, Sweetie and Scootaloo trying to flank him. Slowly they started gaining on the animal.

‘Man, this thing is faster than I thought it would be.’ Sniper thought. He looked around quickly, then saw what he wanted. He swerved, running up a boulder. With a strong kick, he flew over the badger’s head, landing right in front of it. The girls caught up, surrounding the cub.

“Looks like we got him!” The group smiled, then looked at their flanks. Nothing had changed, though, and they hung their heads. Sniper snuck a look at his own, and found much the same.

“Shoot. Ah really thought that would work.”

“Hmm... what next?”

The girls started discussing their next attempt for the day.

“Um, girls.” Fluttershy tried to say, but she was drowned out by the fillies. “I really think you should back away.” The group didn’t see the cub start to shrink away from them. “I think you’re giving it -”

The small animal squealed in fear loudly. The three stopped immediately, stepping away from the crying cub.

“...claustrophobia.”

“Er... there there, little guy.” Sniper crouched, trying to sound soothing, but not quite succeeding. “You’re alright. Nothing’s wrong.”

He heard a growl behind him. He slowly turned to see a very angry momma badger growling at him. “Er... nothing’s wrong?” The mother ran at him, and he bolted.

“Ow. Ow. OW!” Sniper winced as Fluttershy wrapped the bandage around the wounds on his leg.

“I’m so sorry. And so is Ms. Badger. Aren’t you?” The badger looked at Sniper coldly, blocking her cub from view with her front paw. Fluttershy finished wrapping the bandages.

“Eh, it’s my fault I guess.” He stood up, tenderly putting his leg down. “Shoulda been obvious it was getting freaked out. And there ain’t an animal I’ve ever met that wouldn’t do worse for her kid”

“Well, what’s our next move, Crusaders?” Apple Bloom started walking away.

“Ooh! Paragliding!” Scootaloo jumped up.

“Ah, I better catch up to em. Sorry to bother you, Fluttershy.” He started off towards the crusaders.

“Um... if you want, I can come with you. You might need the help.”

“I don’t want to bother you. I’m sure you’ve got to tend to something back home.”

“No, they’re all doing fine. I think you need help.” Fluttershy’s voice became a little more firm. She cast a gaze at the crusaders.

He looked at the trio, then winced as a small pang of pain went through his thigh. “Well... alright, but I don’t want you getting in trouble on my behalf, alright?”

“Of course.” The two chased after the crusaders.

“What did you learn?” The crusaders hung from a tree, tied up in a makeshift paraglider. Sniper worked to try to unpry the wooden cross beams out of the branches.

“Paragliding is a bad idea if we built our glider in less than 15 minutes.” Applebloom answered. “Are we out yet?”

“Not quite...” A large amount of the cloth was wrapped around a branch, pulling it back like rubber. “Ah, I think I see the problem.” He bit the cloth and pulled. It didn’t budge at first. He bit harder, pulling until he felt it give way, and the cross beams fell, freeing the crusaders. They hopped down the tree branches. ‘Perfect’ He thought. ‘Now to get out-’

A loud ripping sound caught him off guard, and he tumbled backward, cloth in his mouth. The bent tree branch snapped back into place, smacking him in the side and sending him toppling headfirst into the knothole of another tree. Through his dazed mind he could vaguely make out a family of very angry squirrels started chattering at him.

The Crusaders were gathered in the clubhouse, trying their hoof at crafts. As opposed to every other suggestion of the day, this one came from Fluttershy after seeing the bumps and bruises caused by their recent excursions. “See, now isn’t this better?”

“Ah guess.” Apple Bloom half-heartedly painted a picture of a flower.

Sniper was neglecting to do anything relating to the crafts, instead tending to the wounds he’d gathered throughout the day. ‘Just glad there ain’t any way I’m getting hurt here. The scissors aren’t even sharp enough to draw blood. The worst I’m getting here is a paper cut.’

“Hey Sniper, could you help me?” Fluttershy was attempting to hang a banner above the window. Sniper climbed up on a ladder, confident in himself.

Scootaloo sighed. “No offence Fluttershy, but this is kind of boring. I mean, out there is a wide world of things we could do-” She swung her hooves wide, trying to paint a mental picture of the world. Instead, she managed to smack the ladder Sniper stood on. He wobbled, tumbling off of it, bouncing off a pile of supplies, and out the window.

He landed hard on the ground, back first. He stared at the sky. Four heads popped out. “Are you okay?” They called down in a messy chorus.

His brow furrowed, and he started walking away into the forest. He wouldn’t let his anger get the best of him. ‘No, not this time, not for stupid reasons like-’

A sudden pressure gripped his leg, and his thought were stopped as he found his world upside-down. His brain raced to figure out what happened, when he spotted his ankle. A basic snare trap, the kind he had set up several times himself, now held him captive. The bushes behind him rustled. He braced for whatever had set the trap.

“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy cried. She came out of the bushes. “What happened?”

“Look, I’m fine.” He struggled against the rope. “Well, mostly. It’ll only take a sec to get out of this stupid thing.” He twisted against it, but to no avail.

“Here, let me look at it.” She flew up to him.

“I’m fine.” He struggled more, trying to wedge his front hoof in to get himself free.

She reached for her saddlebag. “I can help, I have-”

“No, I’ve got it!” He tangled himself more, somehow causing the rope to start spinning.

“But I can get you out if you hold still, it’d only take-”

"Look! I don't need a bloody babysitter!" He snapped at her. He’d had enough.

Fluttershy recoiled at the yelling. "I... I'm only trying to help"

“I don't need more help. Already been slammed into a damn tree, mauled by a damn badger, and thrown out a damn window in the name of help! And now when it comes down to the one thing I’m actually good at, I’m being told I don’t know anything about it! Why don't you just leave me alone! You and those kids have caused me nothing but trouble since I started this whole thing! I'll sort it out myself, like I shoulda done with this stupid Cutie Mark thing in the first place!"

Tears welled up in Fluttershy's eyes. A pang of regret surged through Sniper. "Fluttershy, wait-" She didn't wait for him to finish and ran off, sobbing. 'Way to go, Einstein.' He berated himself. He pulled against the rope, but it did not give way. He heard a rustling in the bushes. “Who’s there?” He called. The panic in his voice was only slightly hidden by his anger. “Let me out of this!”

A white creature hopped out of the woods. A rabbit. ‘How ironic.’ His eyelids lowered. He already knew the rabbit well. After all, how many other rabbits wore an army helmet on a regular basis?

“Angel. I don’t suppose you’re willing to help me, are you?”

The rabbit put his paw to his chin mockingly. He stuck his tongue out at the trapped pony, then started back into the forest.

“What did I ever do to you!?” Sniper was still riding high on his anger. “You’ve had the knives out for me from day one for no reason!”

Angel spun on his heels, staring at him with anger. Angel pointed toward the forest. The direction Fluttershy ran off to.

“…That was… well… but…” Sniper couldn’t find the words to say.

Angel started pantomiming. Sniper gathered that Angel didn’t want Fluttershy hurt. His head sunk low at that. “I’m sorry. I really am. But I’m so sick of not bein’ able to do anything on my own here. I’m a sniper, I’m supposed to get along by myself, and yet here I am, practically begging a rabbit to get me out of somethin’ any hunter in their right mind could get out of in an instant. I don’t blame you for not wanting to help me.”

Angel cocked an eyebrow. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for the stallion, however begrudgingly that feeling came to him. Angel found the source of the rope, and gnawed at it. After a minute the rope snapped and Sniper came tumbling down. Once on the ground he was able to unwrap himself from the rope.

“Thanks.” Sniper held out a hoof toward the rabbit. Angel swiped it away. He pointed again to the spot in the forest. “Ah. I gotcha. Guess I should find Fluttershy and apologize.”

Angel nodded curtly.

The two jolted when a scream pierced through the trees. They both bolted toward the source.

Huddled under a tree were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, guarded by Fluttershy. Overhead metallic screeches sounded. A pair of birds that shone with bronze circled the tree. “The hell are those things!?” Sniper shouted toward Fluttershy.

“Stymphalian birds!” She yelled back. “They’re fiercely territorial! Their nest must be near here! We can’t get out of the tree without being attacked!” As if on cue, several metallic feathers hit the base of the tree, sticking in like a throwing knife.

“Hold on! I’ll distract them!” He looked around. Several stones lined the bank of a nearby lake. He scooped up several of them. Sniper tossed a hoofful into the air, then spun around. With a swift kick he sent the stones hurtling toward the birds. A few of the launched stones found their target, striking one in the head and stomach. It didn’t seem to faze the bird as it turned toward him.

Sniper dove behind a tree as several feathers slammed the wood. ‘I need a distraction of some kind…’ He thought. Angel started pointing off to the right. Looking over, Fluttershy’s saddlebag lay behind another tree. He ducked and bolted toward the tree. A few feathers hit the ground behind him. One grazed his tail, shearing hair. Angel deftly dodged the feathers

Sniper rummaged through the bag. ‘Need something. A distraction, something to…’ He paused as he came across a glass jar. ‘No. No… not that… Please, there’s got to be something else’ He turned the bag over, frantically shifting through the pile for something, anything else. Alas, nothing better came to mind. He sighed in defeat. “Angel, can you keep them busy for about 30 seconds?” Angel tilted his head, then nodded confusedly. “Good. I’ve got a plan, but need just a little bit of time to get what I need. Do you remember the academy?”

Angel eyed the stallion suspiciously, but saluted after studying him for a few seconds. Sniper spun around, and Angel hopped on his back. Sniper reared his back legs, and kicked with all his might once the rabbit hopped onto the hooves.

Angel soared, landing on the back of one of the birds. Tiny paws wrapped around the bronze feathers. Angel pulled up, yanking the bird’s skin with him. The bird screeched, and Angel seemed to control the creature. He flew around, tugging at the feathers like they were a set of reins. He slammed his fists forward, and a set of razor feathers shot from the bird like the machine guns of a fighter plane. Angel swung around, peppering the other bird with his makeshift machine gun.

“Not quite what I had in mind, but it will work.” He darted behind a tree with the jar. ‘Can’t believe I have to do this again.’ Once he finished, he heard a sound that flattened his ears against his head.

“Angel!” Fluttershy called out. Sniper peeked from behind to see Fluttershy catch the rabbit. Angel cradled his arm, where a line of red was barely visible. The birds landed next to Fluttershy, surrounding her. She shrunk as much as she could, shielding the rabbit. The Cutie Mark Crusaders shivered in the tree.

‘Now or never, mate.’ “OY!” The birds’ heads snapped towards the sound. Sniper let out a swift kick, sending another stone into one of the bird’s faces. “Over here! I ain’t afraid of ya!” He said over his quaking knees.

A pair of metallic screeches greeted him. The birds shot toward him. ‘Not yet…’ A flurry of feathers grazed his skin, leaving red trails in their wake. ‘Almost’ He started running through the calculations in his head. Their movement was erratic, but there was a slight rhythm to it. ‘Maximum impact in 3… 2… 1…’

“JARATE!”

He spun and tossed the jar forward. It caught one bird in the head, showering him with the foul contents. The other bird received just as much as the leader. They squawked and shrieked, blinded by the liquid and glass. The birds shuddered into the air and away from the scene, trying desperately to clear their vision and nostrils of the stench.

“You did it!” He was practically tackled by the Crusaders. “That was soooo cool!” Scootaloo gushed. “You were all like POW WASHA JARATE!”

“What even is a jarate?” Applebloom asked.

“A forbidden technique that takes several decades to master. I’m not allowed to divulge its secrets.” Sniper lied through his teeth. He trotted over to Fluttershy.

“You okay?” He held out a hoof. She grabbed it and stood up, careful not to drop Angel.

“Y…yes. That was amazing.” She looked in awe of the carnage of feathers on the field.

“I mean, it just had to be done. I’m glad no one got hurt any more than they did.” He cast a look at Angel. “Speakin of which, is he alright?” Angel held an arm tight to his side, trying not to show any pain. “It looks like he took a pretty nasty slash right below the ribs.” Fluttershy explained. “I’ll get it cleaned and bandaged as soon as I get home. It shouldn’t cause any issues if I tend to it quickly.”

“Look Fluttershy… about earlier…. I’m sorry about goin off on you like that. I’m kind of used to bein alone and not needin help. I guess that doesn’t really excuse me yelling and all that. But I really am –“

He was cut off by the pegasus pecking him on the cheek.

“I forgive you.” She gave him a sweet smile. Sniper’s gold coat turned a shade of red darker as a surge of heat went through him.

“Ewww.” Scootaloo called out. Fluttershy’s ears flattened, as if she just remembered that the Crusaders were standing behind her.

“Aw, I think it’s sweet.” Sweetie comforted Fluttershy.

“He got it! Mr. Sniper’s cutie mark!” Applebloom practically vaulted over Sweetie. Sniper craned his neck to look. Sure enough, he could see something there.

‘Please not Jarate, please not Jarate…’

The image finally settled. To his undying relief, it wasn’t Jarate. It took the appearance of a bullseye target, similar to the ones he used to train with back in Australia. The target was shattering as if something had hit it dead in the center.

“Cooool.”

Sniper breathed a sigh of relief.

"C'mon." He motioned toward the mare and fillies. "I think we're done crusadin' today. how about lunch at Heavy's?"

Fireworks, Part 1

“Happy 5th anniversary!” Pinkie screamed, a massive barrage of confetti knocking over the unsuspecting ponies. Pyro sprawled backwards, blowing a stray lock of yellow hair from her eyes

“Fifth anniversary?” Pyro got up, looking at the other victims of the technicolor assault: Derpy, Demoman, Spy, and Heavy. The group had only a few minutes prior been gathered by Derpy for a discussion at Rarity’s place. Derpy stood, a giggle coming from her necklace. “Seems like the surprise worked quite well,” She looked over at Pinkie and flashed a grin. “Just as you asked!”

Pyro sighed. “You sneaky dog, Pinkie, no fair. If you wanted me to party you could have just asked.” She stared up at Carousel Boutique, noting a surprising lack of decoration. The group walked inside, seeing the old crew all standing around the walls, varying amounts of confetti in their manes. Scout seemed to be attempting to lead a conversation with Miss Pauling, eliciting eye rolls from Twilight and Medic. Engineer, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Sniper sat against a wall discussing the recent wonky weather patterns with Rainbow Dash. Soldier was seemingly talking to himself until Angel revealed himself behind a rack of dresses. “Not the standard hangout though, going fancy this time?”

“Actually darling, you are,” Rarity called as she entered the room. “This is a large milestone in the relationship we’ve had with you all and I simply insist on getting to gussy everyone up.” Thread and fabric floated around her head like some sort of fashionable final boss, the gleam in her eyes making Pyro sweat a little.

“W-wait, I don’t think we need to-” She was silenced by a bolt of fabric wrapping around her midsection. Similar fabrics started running around the legs of everyone present. “A-aren’t we missing people? Trixie?”

“She and Starlight are out on a small mission right now, but they’re going to be back before the party,” Twilight answered, slightly nervously looking at Rarity. “Shouldn’t you maybe do this one at a time, Rarity? There’s a lot of us here for you to try to multitask like that.”

“I work quite well under pressure, Twilight.” She huffed.

“Is that why you’ve had to get a new fainting couch like six times last year?” Dash interjected, earning a snicker from Applejack and Scout. Miss Pauling used the opportunity to slip away from him, batting fabric off her leg like she was being surrounded by snakes.

“Oh hush…” She grimaced. “Though I do suppose that many suits and dresses is a bit… daunting. Nevertheless I have assistants to aid in any qualms I might have”

“Miss Rarity, a moment?” Spy called, adjusting his already extremely well tailored suit. “While doing things in a group setting would technically be more efficient, it would also rob possibilities for input, along with making more work for yourself. I propose that with the two of us, we could easily knock out the designs and measurements in around two hours, less once I get the gentlecolts taken care of. Suits don’t take as long to formulate as dresses after all, and there’s only 7 to worry about.”

Rarity pondered a second, then clapped her hooves. The assaulting fabrics and measuring tapes slithered away into Rarity’s back room. “I knew you’d be a boon, Spy. Alright, everypony, if you’d please hang around in the waiting room, or at least in the general area, I’ll call for you when I’m ready.”

Scout fidgeted a bit, looking at whatever random objects would catch his eye. “This ain’t gonna take long, is it?”

“Not if you’re cooperating.” Spy grinned. “But we can easily go two at a time if you’re that hard pressed for this to be over.”

“I mean sure, whatever floats your boat.”

“Spy, take care of Scout if you would, Miss Pauling please come with me.” Rarity chimed, eyes still lit up and passionate.

The group slowly dispersed to different parts of the room, some going outside to enjoy the sunny summer weather. Pyro stood around awkwardly for a while, leaning against a mannequin until one of Rarity’s assistants gave her a dirty look. She sheepishly took a seat next to Demo to avoid any trouble. The two had found a fairly quiet area, sharing a polite if rather substanceless conversation for a while. A lapse in the conversation led Pyro to stare out the window of Carousel Boutique, watching the clouds drift by and wondering how long this was going to take.

“So yer gonna ask Derpy to be yer date, right?” Demo asked as if it was the most casual conversation starter in the world. Pyro did not receive it that way however, so shocked she practically spasmed in surprise.

“What in the flying hell are you talking about!?” She said far too loud, drawing looks from the still present ponies. Pyro covered her muzzle as a streak of a red blush graced her cheeks, Demo cackled in response. “Th-this is like an all town thing, not some date night dinner party.” She remarked with a hushed whisper as everyone eventually returned to their conversations.

“It’s tradition, y’know. A big party, fancy clothes, it’s romantic, perfect for a first date.” Demo smiled, turning until he could see her with his good eye. “I mean ya don’t hafta have a date but it seems like a waste.”

“We’re best friends Demo, not school kids waiting for Sadie Hawkins.” She scoffed, her blush still bright as she used her hooves to nervously preen her wings. Her mind raced at the thought though, over a thousand miles per hour. As obvious as it might to someone from the outside what Demo meant, Pyro simply couldn’t piece it together.

“Yeah, yer really actin like it.” He chuckled. She kicked his foreleg and he let out a little pained laugh. “Aye, What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that I definitely don’t think of her like that and she definitely doesn’t think of me like that either. We’re best friends, nothing more, and I’m not gonna make my biggest friendship awkward because you want to pair us off!” She whispered with a frustrated tone, jittering a bit, feeling her hooves getting warm. “Derpy is a great pony but I don’t think she’s-”

Yet Pyro was cut off mid-sentence as Rarity spoke aloud to Derpy, who was wearing some new attire.“Darling, step here, I need to see how the natural light hits” Rarity called out to the cross-eyed cutie, using her magic to dim the lights and adjust a window curtain to let the sunlight hit the model slowly rotating in the center of the pedestal.

Pyro looked upon the golden-maned beauty in front of her. Rarity had to have had this picked out she thought, as the shape fit perfectly, framing every feature in such a way that she looked divine. The details of the white dress were framed in gold, the sunlight shining slightly off them to give almost an aura. The lines of the fabric led one's eyes away from Derpy’s ocular issue, but not in an attempt to hide it. Rather, she looked completely natural, as if her eyes were the most normal thing in the world. Seeing Derpy in such breathtaking attire she could not stop herself from muttering the word, “Beautiful…”

"Ya like her don't you." Demo teased, and Pyro could hear the grin on his face, a fact that would have infuriated her if her brain wasn’t short circuiting at the time..

“S-she’s my best friend s-so of course I like her.” She sputtered, turning her head to face Demo but having a hard time tearing her eyes away from Derpy.

“Not like that. Romantic like.” He took a swig from his favorite pocket flask that he kept under his cap, still sporting a know-it-all grin.

"Wh-what, n-no I mean we're best friends that's such a weird thing to say" She let out a long, awkward, nervous laugh. Way too long. Something she quickly realized, which only served to make her more nervous and laugh more awkwardly. She buried her face in her wing. "She'sreallycutewhatdoIdo?" she eventually said in one breath, just above a whisper in volume.

Meanwhile, across the room, Rarity finished taking notes. “Fantastic, Miss Hooves, just need to make a few minor alterations and we’ll have it perfect. Let’s get you back to the fitting room now. Watch your step” Derpy stepped off the rotating platform as instructed and went back with Rarity, seemingly oblivious to Pyro’s nervous breakdown.

“This isn’t fair.” Pyro whined but Demo simply snickered, pushing Pyro’s fully extended wings behind his head. Only now was Pyro realizing how tense her wing muscles had suddenly become. “What am I supposed to do? How do you tell someone you want to more than just friends?”

The door on the west side of the foyer opened, and Scout walked out with an uneasy expression. “You sure, Spy?” He asked.

“Positive. I have everything I need. Democolt, if I may have some of your time?” Demo hopped up.

“Lass, I’d get some advice from ponies with better dating histories than me.” He got up from his seat and walked towards Spy, following the well-dressed colt and disappearing into the room with him. Scout walked past Pyro, throwing her a slight glance.

“You, uh… you okay there?” He asked, a little giggle in his voice

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean it’s a pretty natural thing, if you want it to go away I’ve had the best luck by tensing my back muscles and relaxing ‘em. Really calms ‘em down.” He snickered again.

She realized that her flared wings were still not only visible but spread like a bird catching a thermal. “I’m Fine!” She yelped in embarrassment, small tendrils of steam flying from her nose. “I’m totally fine! Not nervous, or panicked, or flustered! Nope! Absolutely, totally fine!” Scout bolted from the angry mare as she began to ramble. Pyro sat back down, taking a deep breath and trying to relax herself; body and mind.

“This doesn’t make any sense, I mean, I’ve never liked girls before… But then again, I didn’t really like guys before either…” she muttered under her breath. “I’ve never really felt like that… Maybe it was just the light? I mean, Rarity is really good at her job.” She tried to reason with herself. “Yeah, that’s gotta be it. Just the light, there’s no way I actually have those kinds of feelings for my best friend in all of Equestria.”

“All done Miss Hooves.” The east side door of the foyer opened up and the pair of mares inside walked out. Derpy no longer wore the dress, in fact she looked much as she always did. Still, merely seeing Derpy’s warm smile and autumn colored eyed made Pyro feel a hard thump in her chest. All sound around her, save for the sound of her own beating heart, seemed to turn to static for a moment as her gaze fixated on the goofball of a mare.

“Or not,” Pyro muttered, feeling herself begin to panic once more. Developing a crush was not one of her skills, and hiding it wasn’t much higher on the list. Yet while Pyro was so deep in thought she almost didn’t notice Derpy walk past her, giving her a slightly confused look.

"Pyro?” The mare asked, slightly tilting her head to the side. “Rarity’s calling for you.”

Rarity looked at Pyro, tapping her front hoof on the ground impatiently as she was slightly annoyed at the spaced out firebug. Pyro shook her head to get her thoughts back on track. “T-thanks Derpy…” She muttered, getting up from her seat and walking past. Pyro felt Derpy’s tail brush against her own for just a moment, but that was all it took for her cheeks to flush a bright red once more. Panicked and flustered, she hustled into Rarity’s dressing room while Derpy looked on, sporting a confused yet concerned expression.

“Pyro, I understand it’s part of pegasi anatomy but I need you to calm down a bit, your wings are being a bit hindering” Rarity huffed as she took a few measurements down, patiently waiting to be able to measure the chest as Pyro fidgeted in place.

“S-sorry, just… got something on my mind.” Pyro explained as she flexed her back muscles and her wings slowly furled back, joints aching a little. Rarity wrapped her tape around Pyro’s chest and jotted down a few numbers.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Rarity asked, her eyes focused on her notes.

“Well… I mean… So this party...it isn’t like… romantic or anything, right?” She probed for that answer first. Why treat it like a date if it wasn’t even that type of get together?

“Romantic? Well if I have my way there will be moments; some slow dancing, a few fireworks, nice clothes, all the makings of something truly unforgettable.” Rarity sighed wistfully. “But it’s hard to tell with the motley crew we have around here these days.”

“B-but like… it isn’t required, right?” Pyro asked nervously, as if trying to lead the graceful mare to a desired answer. It took a moment for Rarity to piece it together but as soon as she did she let out a gasp of pure excitement. The model platform spun to bring Pyro face to face with Rarity.

“You liiiike somepony~” Rarity giggled happily. “That’s why you’re so fidgety, isn’t it!”

“I-I do not!” Pyro exclaimed, denying the accusations despite her face going a deep crimson.

“You can’t lie to me, I’m more knowledgeable than anypony else about this kind of thing!” Rarity got even more uncomfortably close, pressing her nose against Pyro’s. “Tell me. Tell me tell me tellmetellme! Is it Big Macintosh? Soarin? Wait, have you even met him? Or maybe Scout? Is it Scout?”

“Ew, no!” She tried to escape this nightmarish interrogation of fashion and romance but Rarity’s tape had wound itself around the back of her neck. “I don’t have a crush on a former coworker! Or anypony!” Pyro was unsure if Derpy even truly counted as a former coworker considering the unusual nature of how they came to meet in the first place. She tried to piece her thoughts together, but then violently shook her head. Pyro simply couldn’t accept that she could have a crush on anypony, especially not Derpy.

“So nopony from your world…” Rarity remarked as her scissors snipped some light red fabric while she adjusted a few pieces, trying to match colors. “Hm, must be someone you’re quite close to though, you don’t seem like the type to just develop such strong feelings out of thin air.”

“You’d be surprised.” Pyro grunted under her breath but then let out a sigh, raising her voice. “Fine, I’m not gonna tell you who but I do sort of… maybe… I don’t know, is it a crush if just seeing them makes your heart pound like an enemy locked inside a shack you set ablaze, desperately trying to get out before they’re burnt to ashes?”

Momentarily taken aback by such a remark, Rarity simply asked “Is this your first?”

Pyro paused. There’d never quite been a feeling so strong, but even as a kid, she was always in her own little world, so how would she know? “I… I guess.”

“Well love does hit hard and fast.” Rarity giggled. “I won’t pester you for more details, but if you like them, then they’re probably a fine stallion.”

Pyro pondered whether to answer, then let out an embarrassed sigh. “Mare, actually...that’s not weird, is it?” She lowered her head, slightly ashamed.

“Not in the slightest.” Rarity replied as she continued with her work, “Maybe in your world such a thing may have been unusual, but here in Equestria love is celebrated in all its forms! No need to feel ‘weird’ or ‘embarrassed’ about it.” As she spoke she trotted over to Pyro to do a few more measurements, she took a moment to raise Pyro’s chin up with a hoof and show her a friendly smile. “You should be excited to share that love, not scared. Whoever that mare is will be thrilled to know how you feel. You have my word.”

“T...thanks, Rare.” Pyro gave Rarity a hug and proceeded to wipe her eyes that were threatening to well up. Rarity then lead her to the door, where Demo stood outside, seemingly waiting.

“You finished already? Swear these two are fast, it’s like they were born fer it or somethin’” He joked, noticing Pyro’s slightly sad expression. “Aye, why so glum? Let’s grab a drink.” Without a sign of protest, Pyro followed Demo as he led the way towards Heavy’s Sandvich Emporium, yet the brief walk had an unbearably long silence to it. In an effort to break it, Demo apologized for some earlier behavior. “For the record, Pyro, I didn’t mean any harm by teasin ya. I hope I didn’t hurt yer feelings.”

“It’s fine… I don’t really know what I’m feeling, to be honest.”

“I’ll cover a round for ya at Heavy’s.” He ribbed her gently. “We can talk about what you wanna do, if anything.”

“Party’s not for another week, so I have some time I guess…” As they neared the Sandvich Emporium Pyro’s eyes drifted skyward, lost in thought for but a moment before she asked Demo, “I’m not like… crazy, am I? She was… super pretty, right?”

“Aye, she did look pretty fetchin,” He agreed. “Maybe ya just needed to see her in the right light.” They arrived at the eatery and Demo used his key to open up the bar. He sidled behind the counter, bumping into a fair number of bottles that had been left back there from the previous week, narrowly avoiding breaking some. “Really should clean this place, health inspector won’t be happy again.” Demo chuckled, “What are ya havin?”

“Surprise me.” She said with a heavy sigh. In the blink of an eye a shot glass of dark liquor hit the table in front of her, and she downed it just as quickly, feeling the pleasant burn.”Ooh, what is that, ten year?”

“Seventeen, but close enough. Figure you could use a bit of quality.” He put away the fancy bottle and poured a cocktail mixed with his house whiskey for each of them: A whiskey sour for Pyro and a rusty nail for himself. They clinked their glasses together.

“Bottoms up” The pair said in unison.

Pyro took a sip and set the glass down.

“Askin people out is nothin to worry about, lass, Watch.” Demo took a look around the Sandvich Emporium to see if any ponies were still lingering from last night’s rager, but with nopony in sight he called out for his best customer, “Ay Berry!” Demo’s favorite regular seemed to rise from one of the booths like a zombie, her hair was a tangled mess and she looked both tired and hungover.

“Yeah?” The barely cognisant mare asked.

"Wanna go get drunk at the party together next week?”

"There’s a party next week? Uhm, yeah, sure. I’ll be there” She tried to stand up to leave the bar but stumbled over her own hooves and fell to the floor, falling asleep almost immediately after with a loud snore.

Demo returned his attention to Pyro, giving her a confident smile. “See? Easy as pie.”

Pyro squinted her eyes and gave Demo a skeptical look. “Aren’t you two already dating? Asking out your girlfriend doesn’t count.”

Demo looked at Pyro and rolled his eye. “Nah, 's unsustainable. But she’s a helluva drinkin’ buddy and a damn good wingpony.”

“Well I don’t think that approach is gonna work for me, Demo. I’m not as… open about that sort of thing.” She took another sip of her cocktail.

“Fair, fair. I’m only telling you what works fer me. Maybe you should ask around, see what some of the others think.” Demo tilted back his head and downed the rest of his glass,setting it amongst a pile of dirty glasses to be cleaned at a yet unknown point in the foreseeable future. “I gotta start getting this place prepped for Heavy gettin back, take care of yourself Pyro.” He saluted her and walked off into the kitchen. As Pyro tossed a couple bits on the bar, just so she would feel a bit less guilty about getting a free drink over such a silly circumstance, she heard Demo call out from the kitchen. “Could ya get Berry home fer me? I’d drag her there meself if I didn’t have work to do!”. She gave an affirmative reply and proceeded to walk out of the bar ever so slightly buzzed with an unconscious Berry in tow and looked around, dropping the partied out mare at home before heading out into town to search for the rest of her friends.

A familiar voice off in the distance let her know that Rainbow Dash had gotten through Rarity’s dressmaking session, a feat that seemed almost surprising considering how much the two would bicker over wardrobes. Pyro headed toward the voices but arrived partway into a conversation.

“Well of course I know how to help, Scout!” Dash exclaimed confidently. The pair of pegasi were hovering above the trees, lying down upon a comfy looking pair of cumulus clouds. Pyro fluttered up to join them without speaking, not wanting to interrupt.

“Stick with me and Miss P will be all over you!” Dash assured Scout.

Miss P? Pyro’s immediate thoughts went to herself, sending a little shudder of disgust at the thought of someone like Scout hitting on her. It only took an extra second to think of Miss Pauling. Scout had been on-again-off-again pursuing that mare since before they even got here after all.

Dash turned to greet Pyro with a warm grin. “What’s up? Don’t tell me you were eavesdropping, were you?” The rainbow maned speedster gave a teasing grin.

“Not on purpose, no. Demo had to ditch me to do his job, ugh.” She said with sarcastic disgust. It earned an amused chuckle from Dash but Scout took a second to breathe a sigh of relief, clearly only just now remembering he didn’t work today. “What are you two dorks on about today?”

“Scout’s got mare troubles.” Dash explained.

“Makes sense,” Pyro teased, “You are a mare, Scout, and you look like you have troubles.”

“First of all how dare you, I’m the studliest stud in Ponyville. Secondly I do frickin not have mare troubles! I’m just in a bit of a rut and could use a girl’s advice” Scout interjected, largely unamused.

“Sounds like you have mare troubles.” Pyro laughed at him.

“Oh like you don’t got stallion problems, little miss wingboner.” He scoffed angrily. Pyro’s cheeks turned red at that remark and Dash cleared her throat, trying to break the tension.

“I mean I can help you both, I’m pretty good at this.” Dash scooted over to make space for Pyro on her cloud, throwing an arm around the firebug’s shoulder. “There’s literally only one thing you need to make anyone interested in you.”

“Raw sexual energy?” Scout asked.

“A passion for destruction of public property?” Pyro asked.

“Confidence!” Dash answered a little incredulously. “You two really are bad at this.”

“Dash I don’t know if you’ve met Scout but I can’t think of anyone who thinks more highly of himself.” Pyro tried to explain as politely as she could, “I have yet to see him walk past a mirror and not make googly-eyes.”

“I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment.” Scout crossed his forelegs.

“Let’s see…” Dash put a hoof under her chin and thought for a moment, “Okay, Scout, if you were to ask Miss Pauling out, what’s your angle? How do you seal the deal?”

“Easy, first I just get the ‘ol Brooklyn charm going.” Scout arched his brow slightly and gave a wry smile in an effort to look suave. “Then tell her she’s looking fine. Like crazy, super fine. Throw in something about how she’s rocking the glasses and then...” He stands up from the cloud and then leans back against a passing cumulo-nimbus, “I ask her if she wants some sweet equestrian sausage back at my place.”

“I think I threw up in my mouth a little.” Pyro responded with a disgusted look an audible gag. “Not to mention we’re vegetarian now, if you say something like that I’m pretty sure Fluttershy would end you faster than Ms. Pauling would.”

“It’s a metaphor, when I say equestrian sausage what I really mean is-”

“Finish that sentence and I promise you’ll wish we had all died back in Teufort.” Pyro assured him.

“Well, loverboy, your chance is here.” Dash drew the pair’s attention and pointed them over to where a slightly huffy looking Miss Pauling was trotting down the road, seemingly annoyed. Of course it was obvious to anypony else that Miss Pauling was annoyed, everyone except Scout of course. Scout seemed to go a little blind as he scrambled off the cloud and tried to land nearby without her noticing; sucking in his gut to try and look tough. To an outside observer it was hard to tell if he was in pain or simply trying to flex.

“Hey Miss P!” Dash called out. Miss Pauling looked up with squinted eyes, not amused.

“Oh. Hello Dash, Pyro.” She glanced at Scout, then looked back to the girls.

“So… How goes it?” Pyro tried to make polite conversation. That lasted all of a second before Scout slid his way between Miss Pauling and the other mares.

“Hey uh… Miss P… What are your plans for the party?”

She paused, looking confused. “I’m… going? Maybe dance, drink a little, the usual things that normal ponies do at par-”

“Cool, cool, you know I was thinking maybe, I mean you’re a good lookin mare, I’m a good looking stallion.”

“Debatable.” The purple pegasus muttered. Scout continued undeterred, making it unclear if he heard her at all.

“And I thought to myself, ‘This is a perfect dating opportunity’. Parties are great for that after all.”

“Is there a point to all thi-” Miss Pauling was cut off as the arrogant pegasus continued to ramble.

“And who better to go with than the lovely little Miss Pauling? You’re single, I’m single, it’s a perfect match. Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘Scout is so cool, I can’t believe he’d ask me.’”

Miss Pauling scrunched up her face, eyebrows arching. Pyro was starting to wish she had some popcorn. “Can I say some-”

“But I assure you that no matter what you may think, I’m not too good for anyone. After all, I love dorky chicks.”

“What are you-” She was visibly fuming, almost shaking from sheer aggravation.

“So I’d gladly do you the honor of escorting you to the party” Scout turned to the now red in the face mare. “What do you say?”

“How about for once you LISTEN TO SOMEONE THAT ISN’T YOURSELF!?” Miss Pauling exploded at Scout. Everypony recoiled as Miss Pauling got in Scout’s face. “I don’t like you! I don’t want to date you! I thought I’d made this clear by now!” Her wings flared as she yelled. “You’re arrogant, you’re pompous, and you don’t know the first thing about me! Why would I ever date you!?”

“Hey I know-” Scout tried to interject.

“What’s my favorite food then? Favorite color? What’s my first name?” She leaned in, accusing glare. A dense silence filled the air. Pyro looked away, desperate to stop the awkward encounter.

“...P...Paula?” Scout guessed. Miss Pauling smacked him across the face with her wing hard enough to send him sprawling.

“You want to get with someone, it’s probably a good idea to listen to them first, you absolute idiot!” Miss Pauling flew away, ranting under her breath. Once Miss Pauling left both Rainbow Dash and Pyro glided down from the cloud above and landed beside the visibly dejected Scout.

“Sooo…. This is about seven times past sufficiently awkward” Pyro tried to lighten the mood. Scout didn’t say anything for a long while, holding his reddened cheek.

“I… should get going anyways, work starts soon.” He muttered before flying off in a slow dejected flap of wings. Yet anypony watching could see that not only was Scout not heading toward the post office, it was also a Sunday.

“Well great. Super helpful.” Pyro groaned with a furrowed brow watching him leave. “Confidence my flank.”

“Man, that was… rough.” Dash rubbed the back of her head. “I was sure he had it.”

“Dash, how many ponies have you dated?”

“I mean… y’know, like… The thing is...I mean what even is dating?” Dash let out a nervous chuckle and then raised a hoof and pretended to look at it as though she was wearing a watch, “Oh look at the time I have to go…uh, stare at the sun! Later!” She fled fast enough to kick up the leaves around them. With a huff the lovelorn mare decided to see if there were others out and about that could give actually useful answers. Pyro turned her path towards Sweet Apple Acres and took the long walk as a chance to reflect on confidence; realizing too much of it was just as harmful as having too little..

The dull whir of machines greeted Pyro’s ears as she approached the west orchard of Sweet Apple Acres. After years of failed attempts, it seemed Engi had finally convinced the Apples that a couple of machines wouldn’t get in the way of their famous reputation for quality and love. She spotted Engineer standing out in the field, his head inside a strange looking piece of machinery. Not too far off from Engineer was Applejack working in the field as well, a fresh empty cart attached and approaching at a leisurely pace. Pyro looked back to Engi, giggling to herself as a wicked idea came to mind. Whenever Engineer was lost in work, he was incredibly easy to scare; Pyro never passed up a chance to make that dweeb scream in surprise. She began to slowly approach him and drew in a deep breath to ready a blood curdling yell.

“Pyro!” Pinkie shouted from behind. Pyro jumped into the air, striking a fighting stance akin to those seen in a kung fu movie, then relaxed as soon as she realized what had just happened. Pinkie rolled on the ground laughing. “Oh man I got you gooood!”

Applejack chuckled as she walked up. Engi pulled his head out of the machine and gave a chuckle. “It’s nice to see the shoe on the other hoof.” He tilted his hat slightly upwards. “Can y’all give this thing a lift? I need to tighten a couple of bolts on the underside.”

Pyro blushed a little from embarrassment but helped Applejack and Pinkie Pie raise the machine over Engi’s head, yet even with the three of them working together it was a difficult task. “What is this hunk of junk, some kinda apple based sentry?” Pyro joked as she let out a strained groan.

“Not quite.” Engi explained, clasping a wrench in his mouth. “I built a piston powered apple tree bucker. With proper calibration it should make the process a little less terrible for the joints and let anypony help during big harvests.” He tightened a few bolts. Pyro was surprised at how well he could speak around the wrench. "Alright, set 'er down." The trio did so, Pyro shaking her hooves to work out the stiffness.

“Engi’s machines have been quite the boon, I tell ya. Didn’t want any of ‘em at first after all the problems we had with Flim and Flam, but with a touch of tech from somepony that actually cares about the quality, it’s saved a lot of trouble.” Applejack smirked. “Ever since he opened that workshop, Engineer’s been makin stuff to help almost everypony in Ponyville.”

“It’s in my nature, I like to solve practical problems.” Engineer admitted, with a smug look on his face. He hooked the apple cart to his device and reached into a bag, pulling out a small, translucent crystal. Once he placed it into the machine it started giving off its dull whine of starting up. “Now while that warms up, Pyro, tell us, what brings you all the way out here?”

“I uh… w… well I might…” Pyro shifted in place uncomfortably, looking at the ground. A long, awkward silence filled the air as everypony looked at her expectantly.

Amid the silence Pinkie Pie leaned in close to Pyro and quietly asked Pyro, “Would it help you to whisper it to me and I can blurt it out for everyone to hear?”

“...Yes.” Pyro leaned in and whispered, “I uh, have a crush on somepony and I don’t know what to do.”

Pinkie let out a gasp, hopping upwards in surprise and excitement at the reveal. “YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEPONY?” She shouted loud enough to make some of the looser apples on the trees to snap right off the branches.

Applejack let out a short laugh while it was clear Engi was just barely holding in a loud chuckle of his own. “Aw, that’s cute, sugar-cube. Anypony we know?” Applejack inquired, giving a friendly smile.

“I’d rather not say.” Her yellow cheeks flushed a vibrant red as she looked away.

“Oh really now.” Engi was biting his lower lip in an effort to keep his mouth shut. “I think I have a pretty good idea. I bet you bits to barley that it’s De-”

A look of murderous intent flashed across Pyro’s face as she glared intensely at Engineer. “Keep talking and you’re gonna need your fancy machines to replace the parts of you I break.” She quipped.

“Been there, done that.” He held up his left front hoof. Pyro sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, it was far too easy to forget that colt once only had one arm. Since he'd gotten it back from the transformation, it never seemed to be a big deal to the Texan.

“I’ve always wondered why you got your hoof back but Demo didn’t get his eye back. Did some creepy wizard roommate curse it with or something?”.” Pinkie pondered aloud, raising a hoof to her chin.

"Y… yes actually...exactly that.” Pyro answered, stupefied as to how the party pony had guessed something so specific so accurately..

“Magic is weird.” Applejack remarked with a furrowed brow. All four of them nodded, as if this was the most sage thing anypony had ever said. The machine however, gave out a coughing sound with a huff of black smoke, as if it was offended.

“So, like…Do any of you have experience with that sort of thing?” Pyro stood quietly, letting her question hang in the air.

“Beats me, romance was never something I cared about.” Engi turned back to his little piston machine, adjusting dials very gingerly and looking fondly upon it.

“I’m right there with ya Engi.” Applejack chimed in.

Pinkie nodded in agreement. “Too much effort.”

“W-what do you mean?” Pyro asked with a raised brow, completely dumbfounded.

“Well, ya can try for it sure, if that’s somethin’ you want, but I’m always swamped with somethin’ to do out here.” Applejack motioned a hoof as she looked over the fields. “I don’t wanna just go to some fancy schmancy restaurant, spend a buncha bits on overpriced oats, and talk about nothin for 2 hours.”

“At least y’all ain’t expected to hoof the whole dang bill.” Engineer chuckled. “Honestly, I’d rather be in the workshop with my tools and machines, that sounds like an ideal night to me.”

“Or out in the fields bucking apples with friends and family, there’s too much work to be done to fret about that silly nonsense.” Applejack added, trotted towards the apple cart.

Pyro watched them both nod at each other, the two were so in-sync it was hard to believe they had only known each other for such a short time. She leaned over to Pinkie and whispered. “Are uh… are we sure they aren’t an item?”

“Even if they were they’d never actually talk, just work around each other in silence.” Pinkie giggled softly, and Pyro let out a small laugh herself.

“Alright, should be ready for the first test. AJ, where would you normally strike this tree? I need to calibrate its targeting algorithm”

Applejack walked around the tree and prodded it a few times, inspecting it with a squinted look. “Right here, ain’t that obvious?.” She pointed to a spot that seemed indistinguishable from the rest of the tree. “Should go right to the branches and shake ‘em real good.”

Engineer put the flat head of his mechanized piston against the spot, secured it in place, and flicked a switch. The machine slowly drew the head back, as one could faintly hear the sound of a spring coiling tightly. “Test 1 primed. Firing in three… two… one.”

C R A C K

The sound of splintering wood made everypony wince, it sounded as if a bone was breaking more than wood cracking. The tree barely shook however, only knocking down two apples that looked like they were about to fall off anyways. The piston head moved back, and a circular dent of bark fell off the tree. Engineer looked a little embarrassed about the misfire. “Ehhh… that’s why we calibrate.” Applejack looked at both Engineer and the tree with a sour expression.

“Engi, shouldn’t you test that on lower settings first?” Pyro looked at the tree, visibly nervous.

“I uh… that is a 3 on the scale of power, so… I thought I was…” He said sheepishly as he hung his head low. “Guess it doesn’t quite have the Apple Family touch yet.”

“Cheer up Engi, I’m sure you’ll get it! Besides, I need you to make a suped-up party cannon sometime...seeing what that thing can do has given some ideas.” Pinkie let out a playfully mischievous laugh and rubbed her hooves together.

“We’re gonna test this doohickey on the less productive and withering trees from now on.” Applejack said firmly. Engineer nodded in agreement. “Pyro, don’t worry about some silly date, it’s really not that big a deal.” The pair walked off after loading Engi’s piston into a cart.

“B...but I really like her.” She muttered. Pinkie patted her on the back with a hoof.

“Sorry they weren’t much help, Pyro. If it’s any consolation, if you had a crush on me I would totally date you! But you don’t, so I won’t. I’m sure whoever you do have a crush on though will totally say yes!” Pinkie reassured the firebug before she bounded off after Applejack and Engineer. “Now if you’ll excuuuuse me, I need to talk to Applejack about a bet. If you need me, just give a shout!”

Pyro raised an eyebrow. “Bets? I like bets.”

“Sorry! You’re not allowed!” Pinkie said cryptically, disappearing over a hill before Pyro could demand answers.

I need to think. Pyro thought to herself. I need… booze.

By the time Pyro finally arrived at Heavy’s restaurant it was a little busy as the dinner rush neared its end, with several hungry ponies seated inside & waiting for dinner even though closing time was only about twenty minutes out. Pyro walked in, dodging one of Heavy’s servers, a pale blue unicorn in a standard uniform.

"Hey Songbird,” Pyro asked, “Have you seen Demo?”

Songbird put down some plates and turned to face Pyro, that professional smile showing all the while. “He had to close the bar for the night, something with Spy and Rarity.” The mare explained with an indifferent shrug. “If you need a drink, Heavy’s in the back with Medic.” She started walking towards the back room. “Follow me.”

Pyro appreciated a friend like Songbird, she always knew when somepony was looking for a drink. The pair walked through the swinging doors. “Heavy! Two things. A: Pyro is here, and B: Table 6 really wants those garlic knots.”

“They will get garlic knots when Heavy has garlic knots to give!” Heavy shouted, stomping his massive hoof on the table. Songbird just rolled her eyes and headed back through the swinging doors, taking plated orders from the white unicorn helping Heavy out.

“Don’t tell me he’s got you’re working here too, Medic.” She looked over at him and saw he was in the process of chopping some lettuce. Though even a novice could tell Medic wasn’t doing it properly.

“No, no, nozing like that.” Medic answered, sticking his nose up at such a notion. “Heavy is just very short staffed today. Ze geniuses he employs decided to test a new mixed drink by Demoman, and none of zem can hold their tequila.” He seemed more than a little annoyed, magically pushing his glasses up the bridge of his muzzle. “What’s on your mind, Pyro? Is zat rash back?”

“Uh, no, well...thing is...I sort of-” Pyro was cut off as Songbird leaned in through the swinging doors to pass along some good news.

“Just two more orders, guys, then it’s smooth sailing.” Songbird called, moving behind the counter to help Heavy finish.

“It can wait, finish up, I’m gonna go raid Demo’s stash of whiskey.” Pyro walked toward the back, seeking the special alcohol only her and Demo knew the location of.

The two assistant unicorns levitated ingredients one after another to Heavy, who meticulously pieced them together into his picture perfect signature dish; the sandvich. Meanwhile Pyro opened the walk in freezer and snagged a hidden bottle of brandy, carrying it out just in time to see Songbird leave with a tray full of sandviches . On the counter sat a sad, empty pan that once held garlic knots. The ponies before her relaxed, leaning against the counters. “Dinner’s done for now, right?” Pyro asked, shaking the bottle temptingly at her friends.

“Da, last order just went out, kitchen is closed. Heavy needs to start cleaning.”

“Have a shot with me at least,today has been a rollercoaster of garbage.”

Heavy groaned but acquiesced, pulling down a shot glass for each of them as Pyro poured the chilled drink. Medic’s horn glowed a soft yellow hue as magic grabbed his drink while Heavy’s purple grabbed another. Pyro wrapped a wing around her glass and raised it. “To uh… to 5 years of a new life and uh, all that it brings I guess.”

They clinked their glasses and downed the booze. Medic let out a cough right as Pyro felt the burn hit her chest. “Still tastes like paint thinner.” He complained, coughing slightly.

Heavy chuckled, “What is matter doctor, is your throat a little…”

“Don’t you dare zay it.” Medic quipped.

“Hoarse.” Heavy guffawed at his own joke, nudging Medic in the side.

At the painful joke Medic rolled his eyes and flipped his shot glass over, disinterested in having any more to drink if it meant dealing with more terrible jokes.

“What would you expect from the friend only booze?” Pyro chuckled. She poured herself another and downed it just as quickly.

“So, are we drinking to good news or bad news?” Heavy asked.

“Honestly I don’t know exactly what it is, good or bad. It has a little bit of both. Love life crap, you don’t wanna hear about it.” Pyro set the bottle down and shuddering as she could feel a light buzz begin to settle in.

“Ahh, Pyro has a crush on somepony, zat makes sense.” Medic gave a smile as he chuckled. “It’s fine, you can chat about it.”

“Well, when we were doing the dress thing this morning, I kinda realized that… Derpy’s cute.” She blushed as she admitted it to someone aside from herself. It felt good to own up to her feelings without trying to curtail around them.

“So what is problem?” Heavy sipped his drink. “Plenty of mares cute, what makes this so different?”

“Eh, I’m just… spooked I guess.” She took a gulp, swallowing her nerves. “It’s hard to change a relationship into a romantic one after it being friendly for so long. Know what I mean?”

“No.” Heavy remarked.

“Ja.” Medic groaned.

After that Pyro saw Medic shoot a look towards Heavy, but Heavy didn’t seem to notice, as the look only lasted a second. Heavy stood up and went to the kitchen and began making a little bit of food for each of them. All the while it sounded as though the bulky unicorn was humming a tune to himself.

The group maintained idle chit-chat for about twenty minutes before the kitchen door swung open. “Heavy, restaurants emptied, tables are clean, I’m clocking out!” Songbird tossed her apron onto a counter and winked at the massive unicorn. “See you tomorrow, thanks for the help Medic!” The mare turned and left, Heavy watched her walk away for just slightly too long. Pyro noticed the way Heavy looked at Songbird, along with noticing that Medic looked away with a small, unvoiced huff.

“You got your own crush, big guy?” She chuckled, taking a bite of her sandvich. It’d been 5 years of the same recipe and ingredients but he still made these things taste amazing every time.

“Heavy does not have crush, just appreciation. Though when she is no longer employee, and if hair was braided, perhaps.” He let out a hearty laugh. “She’s only here for another month before she has another job lined up, so we will see how the cards fall.” He stood up and walked towards the back room. “Heavy needs to close up kitchen, so please finish up quick.” And with that he slipped past the inventory room door, which shut quietly behind him.

“We will.” Medic whined, staring at the floor.

Pyro looked at him, a little concerned. “You uh… you good?”

“Pyro… if I’m being honest… no. zis whole conversation seems… silly to me. Like it even matters.” He pushed his overturned shot glass aside. “Fact of it is, it isn’t up to you. It’s up to her. And even if your heart is set, it can all fall if zey don’t feel ze same.”

Pyro thought about that simple statement and it brought on a realization. A primal fear bubbled in her heart, one she hadn’t thought of with all her fears placed elsewhere. All her worries and thoughts had been on if she should, but not once had she thought about whether or not she could.

Medic finished his meal and stood, leaving without a glance back. “Personally… I don’t see ze point in going for something zat is probably not going to work out.” He left through the kitchen door. Pyro stared at her food, suddenly sick to her stomach, and a stinging sensation in her eyes. The liquor had made her much more emotional than usual, and she could tell it wouldn’t end well if she kept eating. She pushed her meal away and grabbed the bottle off the table, quickly heading out of the restaurant and going to her room for the night.

After traipsing upstairs, Pyro collapsed on her bed, and a new, unpleasant emotion hit her. Her eyes stung as her vision blurred and she realized what it was; a tear, running down her cheek. Pyro was unfamiliar with this sort of feeling, sadness like this was different from something like pain or anger. It hurt in a way that couldn't be fixed with violence or medicine, but at least brandy could dull the pain. “Today’s been pointless hasn’t it.” She muttered to herself, taking a swig while staring out her window. She was suddenly aware of how quiet everything was around this place when nightfall came. Nobody seemed to be around; either at jobs or out doing something exciting. She wasn’t any different though. When she wasn’t making fireworks she was just passing the time around town with anypony that called her friend. Sure this bedroom was her ‘home’ in a manner of speaking but only now did it start to feel like it was missing something.

She looked around her room. Cluttered with odds and ends, but none of it was worth keeping. Mostly trash or dishes. Papers that she’d forgotten to get rid of. She had but one memento; a burnt out diary, bearing a tarnished gold lock that gleamed in the moonlight coming in through her curtains. Pyro bent down and picked the book up in her teeth, then fishing for the key in her bedside table. She unlocked it and flipped through the pages, using the moonlight to help her read the scorched pages.

Day 5: Made friends with that loud french dude, the red one. He seems nice. Really likes both hide and seek and my rainbows, screams for joy whenever I find him! I wish he would stop cheating though! Hiding with magic like that is totally unfair!
Day 124: Found a big new lollipop, decided to decorate it to celebrate the occasion! Used some of the streamers I saw on top of the fence to wrap it up. Sharp streamers though, I cut my hand while doing it. Everyone was screaming with excitement when I showed it off.
Day 340: Starting to think they don’t trust me, even my other Blu friends seem to stop talking whenever I walk into the room. I’m not sure it’s a coincidence but I really hope it is.
Day 471: They haven’t been talking to me much, its getting kind of lonely honestly. I still get the occasional small talk from a few of them but the others don’t even give me the time of day. Was it something I said? Do they not like rainbows?
Day 655: Why are they all ignoring me? I don’t get it! Are they afraid of me? Why? I’m not scary! Nothing about me is scary! Glitter, streamers, rainbows! That. Is. Not. Scary. It isn’t!
Day 656: It’s always been flames hasn’t it. Those laughs were screams, weren’t they? Am I a monster? How did I not notice. How?
Day 657: im going to burn this place to the ground. All of it. Til there’s nothing but ash left. If they see me as a monster then fine...I’ll be a monster.

The page after wasn’t one entry, but rather several days worth that she had clearly been writing on top of each other. A madness of sorts that had overtaken her when there was nothing else left. Pyro shuddered as the memories came back one after another, and threw the book against the wall. She took a long drink from the bottle. “I’m crazy, so why am I acting like I’m not... It’s better if I just… don’t.” She muttered, looking at the small swig left. She closed her eyes and saw a sight she’d left behind a long time ago. Pyroland laid out happy before her, sprawling with flowers that were singing and dancing. She could herself skipping forward holding a full can of whipped cream in her hoof. Her room was full of colorful flowers, just like Teufort used to be.

She leaned over and pulled out something from her table. A smile crossed her lips as she decided to stop fighting what had always been there and pulled a budding flower from a small box in the bedside cabinet. With just a strike against the side, it was suddenly in a very beautiful bloom of dazzling colors. She sighed happily and drifted away into the flowers as she could begin to hear the faint sounds of laughter and joy in the distance.

Fireworks, Part 2

Spy trotted leisurely toward Rarity’s boutique, paying little attention to the area around him as he was mentally finishing up the vests he had almost finished for each of the stallions. After five long days of taking on the most difficult revisions and alterations it would finally be an easy day; with only the most basic fixes left to take care of. As he found himself lost in though it dawned on him how five years had gone by in a blink. His job as an ambassador to the lands outside Equestria’s domain had been a bit less exciting as of late, and last month Celestia had sent him back to Ponyville while she settled a more delicate political situation; leaving him with little to do otherwise.. He let out a heavy sigh, while it was nice seeing his friends again in such a casual lifestyle he missed the intrigue if foreign nations, and the many friends he had made across the world.

So very much had changed since Spy took his first steps as a pony; In that time Scout had both been hired and maintained a job as a mailpony, Soldier had been gracefully retired from being a drill sergeant, Pyro’s skills with pyrotechnics had been very lucrative for the fireworks business. Demoman and Heavy had made their own diner an extremely popular spot in Ponyville, Engineer’s inventions had been improving small parts of everyone’s routines. Medic’s experience in medical practice had gotten him a rather well paying surgeon position, though Spy admitted that most surgeries were purely elective in a world like this.. Sniper’s career wasn’t quite applicable here so he turned to working alongside Fluttershy, being good at rooting out the ground animals, all while Miss Pauling had become Twilight Sparkle’s most trusted assistant, giving the princess of friendship some much needed breathing room on a daily basis.

All his musings made him smirk a little. “When we first got here, I admit I wasn’t a fan.” He thought to himself, “But now… being here is idyllic.” As he looked up from his wandering thoughts, he saw Starlight Glimmer and Trixie talking, just a little up the road from him. As he got closer he noticed they looked slightly worried. “Miss Trixie, Miss Glimmer!” He called, hastening his approach.

“Spy, oh thank goodness. You haven’t seen Pyro, have you?” Starlight asked, the slight nervousness of her voice spoke volumes of the situation.

“Nopony has seen her all day, and The Great and Powerful Trixie is in desperate need of fireworks for the party!” Trixie was obviously worried, but mostly annoyed.

“That’s odd indeed. I saw her earlier this week, albeit briefly. It did appear as though something was bothering her.” He explained with a scrunched look to his face.

Starlight paced in place before beginning to head toward the hotel, where Pyro lived. “Maybe the restaurant crew knows where she is?” Trixie and Spy followed closely as Starlight pondered aloud,. “Has she been doing anything out of the ordinary?”

“Haven’t talked to her much, though she was out and about on Monday speaking to the team about a problem of hers; since she did not ask me I did not pry.” He admitted, feeling a bit guilty about not keeping tabs on his friends. As they trotted towards the hotel he looked around for anypony who might know Pyro’s whereabouts. In the sky he spotted a gray mare, in the midst of her deliveries, that would be the most likely of anypony to have a lead.“Miss Hooves!” He yelled, getting her attention; Derpy swooped down and hovered in front of the group.

“Oh hey Spy, did you need something? I’m a little behind on my route again.” She seemed distracted based on the tone of her voice, maybe even a little upset.

“We’ll make it quick, have you seen Pyro recently?” Starlight asked, her brow furrows. Derpy looked a little hurt by that, but then dejectedly shook her head.

“Not since we got fitted at Rarity’s. It’s like she’s been avoiding me, and I don’t know why.” Derpy huffed , but shook her head to try and get her mind off it. “I gotta get back to my route, good luck. If you see her, tell her I wanna talk,” Derpy raced off much faster than she had been flying a moment ago. The trio exchanged worried glances.

“Let’s get to the hotel, on the double.” Trixie started running, now showing some visible concern.

The three of them walked into Heavy’s restaurant and didn’t bother greeting any of the patrons, their focus was elsewhere.Songbird noticed the three of them in such a rush and trotted over, “Hey guys, I know this place is popular but the lunch rush isn’t for a few hours. Why the hurry?””

“We’re actually looking for Pyro, has she been through here?” Starlight looked around for signs of the firebug.

“Not since Monday, as far as I know at least.” The waitress looked at the area that had a large double door cordoning off the sleeping areas, meant only for the residents. “Maybe check her room? Demo threw a fit over the inventory being one bottle short until Medic pointed out that Pyro took it, something about having a few drinks and the topic getting sort of...personal.””

The three of them once again exchanged worried glances, but none more worried than Spy’s. “Thank you Songbird, we’ll go check her room.” Starlight responded, giving her a polite nod.

Spy walked through the dusty halls, noting that the state of things had really fallen apart since a majority of them moved out into their own homes.. After passing by a handful of vacated rooms they came across Pyro’s door. She had decorated it herself with a woodburning kit; making a crude logo across the entire lower section of the door that resembled her class emblem. Singed flecks covered the rest of the door. Spy knocked on the door and asked politely. “Pyro, are you in there? It’s Spy.”

“And if you are in there, the Great and Powerful Trixie...could really use some fireworks!” Trixie added with her usual level of self-importance, earning her an aggravated look from Starlight.

No answer came from behind the door, though it sounded as if there was someone talking on the other side along with the creaking of floorboards.. Starlight tried the handle, but it wouldn’t give. “She’s locked herself inside. On a scale of one to ten, how bad is that, Spy?”

“An eleven.” He quipped, a stern look across his face.

“Leave it to me, the Great and Powerful Trixie can not be stopped by mere locks!.” She boasted as her umbral magic lifted her hat and revealed a pair of metal tools from under her hat; which Spy quickly recognized as lockpicks, and high quality ones at that. The two others exchanged glances; Starlight’s was more judgemental while Spy seemed decently impressed, with Trixie giving her slightly incredulous looks. “What?” She asked defensively. “I’m a stage magician ,locks are filly’s play” Trixie used her magic to fiddle with the tools, and after a satisfying click the door to Pyro’s room swung open. The group gasped in unison, shocked at the sight before them.

Pyro sat upon her ashen bed with her back to them, wings fidgeting like an injured animal in its death throes. Around her were multiple pieces of paper, all smoldering and scorched black. A pile of spent matches sat in a corner, slightly singing the concrete floor, the carpet in the area had burned completely away and filled the room with a putrid smelling smoke. The pegasi rocked back and forth slightly, humming something to herself, though the tune seemed familiar but it sounded wrong the way she was humming it.

“P...Pyro?” Starlight called out cautiously.

“I distinctly remember Miss Pauling taking away your matches. Where in Equestria did you get new ones?” Spy looked around as he took a single step into the room, noticing the overturned open diary in the corner. Since it was his first time in her room, he also noticed how little there actually was in here. No shelves, no portraits, no real decorum of any kind save for the gala dress she wore from the first year they were here.

“The… flowers… are blooming…” Pyro muttered to herself as she took a match. As she cradled it in the crook of her hoof and struck it, the small fire illuminated the dimly lit room. All the while she simply watched the match, entranced by it as though it was a captivating display of beauty.

“Alright, this is about to get out of hoof. Ladies, stand back and do not do anything unless I tell you to” Spy walked across the room slowly, making his way to the other side of Pyro’s bed. After getting onto the bed, he sat across from her and looked into her eyes.

She looked back, though her gaze seemed to go right through the finely dressed colt rather than meet his. Her big red eyes looked almost glassy. “Spy, look at all the flowers. They all keep saying ‘Loves-me-not’ but surely they can’t all be.” She grabbed at the flame with her free hoof. Spy noticed minor burns on that hoof. “Loves me… loves me not… loves me…”

“I’m going to hope you don’t murder me at the end of this.” Spy’s horn lit up and his appearance began to change. The fur around his face became white, his mane becoming unkempt and going a gaudy neon green, and then a large red nose appeared on his muzzle. “Pyro, look at me.”

Pyro looked up from her matches and looked at Spy, her eyes went wide. The ridiculous visage seemed to calm her down long enough for Spy to get a chance at snapping her back to reality. For a brief moment Spy closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, holding in his breath for a second before he let out an abrupt shout. “Peekaboo!”. Caught off guard and sufficiently startled, Pyro dropped the match,though Spy caught it with his magic before it hit the floor. “CLOWN!” The firebug shrieked as she scrambled backwards, falling off her bed and landing on her back. She seemed to be slightly dazed from the fall, as she looked up at Starlight and Trixie with a rather goofy look on her face. “Guys… why are you standing on the ceiling?”

“You uh… had an episode, right Spy?” Trixie remarked, deferring an answer to the suave colt.

Spy’s magic dissipated, dropping his clown disguise. “I had to take a bit of a drastic measure to snap you out of it. I did not wish to take any chances since it had been so long since your last ‘episode’.” He explained as he stepped down from the bed and walked across the room.

“Episode? You mean I… went back?” Pyro quietly muttered, sitting up hastily. The three ponies in her room exchanged concerned looks before they all nodded. “No… no that can’t…” She looked over at the pile of matches and became acutely aware of the pain in her left foreleg; inspecting it she saw several burns. From a glance none of them looked to be too serious but were quite painful regardless. “I… oh… dang it.” She groaned.

Trixie stepped into the room and removed her hat with a swift flash of magic. “Why don’t you tell us what happened?”

Pyro sniffled loudly, and tears started flowing. “I’m a monster again…” Pyro seemed to ignore Trixie’s words but that didn’t stop the cerulean mare from comforting the firebug; sitting beside Pyro and placing a hoof around her.

“What does she mean, went back?” Starlight quietly asked Spy, looking away.

“Pyro’s had a rough life. Fire had taken many people from her when she was young, first her parents, then the people who took her in. By the time she joined us as mercenaries, she had long since gone over the edge. She saw a different world than we did, where fire was flowers and rainbows. Called it Pyroland. We didn’t know about it until we came here, and we’ve been trying to help her stay out of it.” Spy sighed. “Seems all this recent stress made her… lose her head.”

“You’re not a monster, Pyro.” Trixie tried to calm her down. “Manticores, Ursa Majors, and Parasprites. Those are monsters.”

“All it takes is some stress and I break? How long has it been?” She looked up at Spy with tears still sliding down her cheeks.

“You disappeared about 4 days ago.” He trotted forward. “Look, I know this is about the upcoming festivities and Miss Hooves.”

“Why do you say that? Have you been spying on me?” Pyro inquired accusingly, but from the tone of her voice, it was clear he had hit the nail on the head.

“We have faced dark wizards, hoards of rampaging machines, a literal pumpkin headed monster, all sorts of things worthy of being afraid of. Why would this be the tipping point?” He continued.

“There’s just so many things that could go wrong!” Pyro exclaimed, “First Scout tried to ask out Miss Pauling and she exploded at him then Medic brought up that I have no control of the situation...What if she says no, then won’t I lose my best friend? Maybe AJ and Engi have it right, I mean, just staying friends is probably better, right?” She asked in hopes of reassurance, not sure what to expect.

“If you wanted to just stay friends with her you wouldn’t be looking for comfort at the bottom of a bottle of brandy.” Spy quipped as he disdainfully kicked the bottle on the ground away. As the bottle rolled across the floor it bumped into Pyro’s diary, catching Spy’s attention. He picked it up with a bit of magic and flipped through the pages, seeing what Pyro had been keeping private for so long.

day ???: some weird colored horse things just appeared in the respawn room; they don’t look like they’re from Mannco but we don’t know where else they could have come from. Kind of pretty though.
day2: we decided to split the labor; each of us is taking care of one. I chose the grey one, she looked like she could use a friend. Sometimes I could swear I hear her crying or something, but I thought horses couldn’t cry. It’s strange.

New Day 25: Turns out this horse is really smart! I have no idea why this horse had a diary but she says I can borrow it if I want. According to some older entries she has a kid back home she really misses. I’m going to do my best to reunite the two of them, let this written word be my promise. Her name’s Derpy. Bit of an odd name if you ask me but it is kind of cute, in a silly way

With an eyebrow raised in curiosity, Spy skipped through the pages until he found the last entry pertaining to Teufort.

New Day 90: We’re leaving it all behind. Twilight knows a spell that can transform us into horses like them, it’s not where I thought things would lead but we don’t have much of a choice. We’re refugees. She said I could stay with her when we get there and she’ll even help me get settled in. It’s really nice of her to do this for me. I mean, the other mercs have been pretty nice since I got out of Pyroland but she makes me feel special. Is this what having a best friend feels like? If it is, I never want this feeling to stop. I’m going to do my best to make her as happy as she has made me. Because that’s what friends do, right?

Spy cleared his throat with a loud ‘ahem’ to get Pyro’s attention “Miss Pyro… I think there’s somepony that can help you with your predicament. Before we go you need to get those burns treated, take a shower, and put one a friendly face. We’ll be headed for the cottage on the edge of Ponyville.” He explained as his magic closed the diary and placed it back upon her shelf.

“What, Fluttershy? I’m nothing like her. What could she possibly know that’ll help me?”She moped.

“Something you need to learn.”

The distinct sound of birds chirping a lovely song helped lead Pyro to the cottage by the forest. It appeared to be a particularly active day from what she could see, as tons of birds and small critters were running around. She rapped on the door and waited patiently; being outside and patched up lifted her spirits a little bit at least. On the long trot from Ponyville to the cottage she had resolved to learn whatever it was Spy thought Fluttershy had to teach. Waiting outside the cottage was almost as pleasant as the walk here as the cute animals playing in the grass took Pyro’s mind off her recent relapse into Pyroland.

Eventually Sniper answered the door. “Ah, Pyro, good timing, I could use some wings.” He said with a smile as he led her inside.

“ Fluttershy not here?” Pyro asked.

“She’s here, but uh…” He glanced over towards a side room; where Soldier stood with Angel perched on his head. “She’s a bit busy.”

In this small side room was a small wooden hoofrest that was being used as a makeshift medical bed, where a sickly looking raccoon was lying down. The little trash panda was letting out pained groans as it clutched its stomach, while Fluttershy tried her best to make the poor thing comfortable.“So tell me again what he ate?” Fluttershy asked as she turned to face Soldier, her brows furrowed.

“I can only assume 3 cans of beans and a can of pudding.” Soldier said bluntly.

“What… kind of pudding," She asked, concerned.

“You should know, it was in your trash. To think you would throw away perfectly serviceable rations.”

“I haven’t had pudding in ages," She said, clearly growing upset.

“I noticed. I dug these rations out almost ten months ago and decided these poor, hungry troops needed them more than I." Soldier explained. “No need to thank me, ma’am. His pained groans of gratitude are more than enough.”

“Soldier,” Fluttershy took a deep breath before showing a great deal of anger, just barely refraining from shouting “It’s almost fall! That pudding likely had mold all over it, the poor thing could have been poisoned!” Fluttershy got in Soldier’s face for a second, staring him down. After a brief moment she took a deep breath and returned her attention to the raccoon, her anger washing away, being replaced with concern.

“So it’s fatal. It’s been an honor serving with you, Rear Admiral Gnaw.” Soldier removed his helmet while the raccoon on the table groaned. “You may have the honor of putting him out of his misery, Fluttershy. I can’t say I’m not envious.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. He won’t be dying but he’s certainly going to have a tummy ache for the next few days. You really need to be more careful about what they eat. Canned beans and soup aren’t a healthy diet for anybody; pony or raccoon.” Fluttershy tried to reason with Soldier, but the look on his face made it seem like what she had just said had been in a foreign language.

“I see.” Pyro snorted. “What do you need wings for though?”

Sniper lifted a bag of seed off the floor and held it between his teeth. “Feedin time.” He set it down and pointed. “Get the birds up there while I get the rabbit hutches filled, if ya would.”

Pyro nodded as she took the bag, fluttered up to the birdhouses, and then poured a bit of seed into the multiple feeders up in the rafters. The birds scattered each time she approached, landing as soon as she would finish a bowl. “Flutters got you doin chores, huh? Must owe her a favor.” Pyro said.

Sniper cocked a brow, looking a little confused. “Nah, not in particular. They’re chores that gotta be done around here.” He quipped as he filled up a hutch with some leafy greens, one bowl in particular clearly belonging to Angel

“Well yeah, but it’s not like you live here.”

“...Pyro I’ve lived here forabout 7 months now.” He looked at her, completely dumbfounded.

“What? No, you’re still at the hotel aren’t you?” She inquired, “I thought we all still lived there?”

“Half of us moved out!” Sniper explained, his tone seemed slightly annoyed. “Engi’s living at his workshop near Sweet Apple Acres, Spy has a condo in Canterlot, Miss Pauling’s got a place here in Ponyville, Soldier hides in her attic, and I’m out here living with Fluttershy. Have you been sleeping under a rock, mate?”

Pyro hovered in the air, her mouth agape as she neglected to stop seed into one lucky bird’s feeder until it began to overflow. “Y-you’re screwing with me.” She dropped the bag of seed, barely missing Sniper, and turned to the kitchen. “Fluttershy, tell me Sniper’s joking!”

Fluttershy looked away from the raccoon, flashing a polite smile. “Oh, hello Pyro, didn’t hear you come in. Did he tell you the one about the ten inch pianist?”

“He’s saying he moved here seven months ago but that can’t be right, I would have definitely noticed.” She shouted.

“Uh… I mean…” Fluttershy was clearly flustered, but shrugged it off. “It felt like time, we had been going steady for three months when he moved in.”

“Going steady?”

An awkward silence took over the room; Soldier stood there dumbstruck, Sniper was speechless, and Angel was getting hungry. Fluttershy poked her head out from the kitchen and looked at Pyro, her brows furrowed. She and Sniper exchanged confused glances with one another. “Since… we started dating?” She said with a very flat tone. There was another extremely long pause as they waited for Pyro’s response.

Pyro simply laughed out loud. “Oh I get it, this is some super elaborate prank, good one guys!” She held a hoof to her belly as she chortled, though her laughter began to subside when she noticed only her and Soldier were laughing. “Soldier, why are you laughing? They’re pranking me.”

“Prank?” He kept chuckling between his words. “I thought the nerve agent was finally setting in.”

“So it… it’s not…” Pyro was silent for a moment before finally putting it together, at which point she let out an extraordinarily loud gasp. “YOU TWO ARE DATING!? That’s why Spy told me to come here!”

“You really didn't notice?” Fluttershy asked, she looked to be just as amused as she was confused.

“So that’s why you’re out here.” Sniper said, seemingly having a lightbulb moment. “You’re having stallion troubles.”

“I’m not having stallion troubles!” Pyro protested.

“Ah, it must be a mare then.” Soldier shouted from the kitchen. “She’s clearly in love, and everyone knows romance is the most distracting thing that the British ever used against the thirteen colonies.”

“Go ahead Soldier, just yell everything private out into the open. Let’s just air it all out!” Pyro’s face went bright red as she felt her hooves getting hot and sweaty. A few animals scattered at the shouting, but Angel Bunny simply shot Pyro a dirty look.

“Your shoe size is nine, you stole Scout’s lunch every day last month, and on your way here you scratched your rear on the spa building when you thought no one was looking.” Soldier sounded muffled, clearly chewing something. “You’re also deathly afraid of clowns.”

“Soldier, are you eating those beans again?” Fluttershy asked accusingly as she went back into the kitchen to scold him.

Sniper waited until Fluttershy had closed the door to the kitchen before continuing the conversation with Pyro, hoping to spare her from any further embarrassment. Once he was certain the two of them had a bit of privacy however, he spoke quite casually about the matter.“So… mare troubles? It’s Miss Hooves, isn’t it?”

“N...n...yeah.” She wanted to deny but it was clearly pointless. “I'm not good at all this dumb romance stuff. I have no idea how you ponies pick up on this subtle nonsense,” Pyro huffed, laying down on the floor.

“Clearly.” Sniper mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, just relax Pyro, you'll figure it out.” Sniper said reassuringly before he returned to filling the feeders.

Fluttershy cracked the kitchen door open and peeked out, looking at Pyro with a concerned expression. “You’ve got some really intense feelings if you’re going around asking us, huh?”

“I do…” Pyro admitted as she looked at her burned hoof. “And it’s killing me not knowing.”

“I may give you the business now and then but I think you’re smart enough to figure this out, Pyro.” Sniper said as he closed a feeder. “You won’t know unless you ask her.”

Pyro shot him a doubtful look, but knew he was right. With nothing truly gained from this encounter save for the realization of how detached she had been from reality without even being in Pyroland, she gave a sigh and stood up from the floor. With a friendly smile and wave she bid them goodbye and walked down the path back into Ponyville, where Spy, Starlight, and Trixie awaited.

“So did that clear anything up?” Spy asked.

“Yep.” Pyro sat down and sulked. “Everyone else already knows about my crush so Derpy definitely knows about it which means that she’s not interested and asking her will only get me shot down and..and...” Her words became incomprehensible babbling as tears began to well up in her eyes.

“Pyro, stop-” Starlight tried to interrupt but Spy put a hoof up to her muzzle.

Spy trotted over and looked down at the tearful firebug, unamused. “If all you got out of your conversation with them is that, you may actually be dumber than Scout.”

She stood up furiously. “What do you want from me you snooty french pain in the flank!? I’m doing the best I can!”

“Are you? It looks to me like you’ve already decided you’re going to fail, and you’re using that as an excuse not to try..” He said with an unflinching stare.

“And what happens when she flips out when I-”

“If you think she will act like Miss Pauling rightfully did, let me ask you: What is her full name?” Spy interjected.

“Derpy Hooves, duh, what kind of dumb question is tha” Pyro stopped herself, recalling how Scout could not even recall Miss Pauling’s name. “Oh I see what you’re getting at.” She felt a bit relieved at first, but her anger was still present.

“So you’re already ahead of Scout’s position and therefore should disregard him and his many shortcomings.”

“Alright fine, she probably won’t get mad but still, what if I make it weird and we can’t be comfortable around ea-”

“Democolt and Berry Punch aren’t having any such issues.” Spy interrupted.

“Yeah, but Demo said he wasn’t interested in her.”

“She was interested in him though. She asked, he said no, but they’re still drinking buddies and good friends.”

Pyro shook her head. Demo hadn’t told her that. But Spy had nothing to gain by lying about it.

“Okay fine, but still...isn’t it easier for the two of us to just be friends?”

“Oh certainly, if you want to take the southern pony approach by pretending that dating is too arduous or that you don’t have time. They’re definitely happy.” He rolled his eyes, voice drenched in sarcasm. “And after years of letting those feelings fester you can be just like Medic, who is so bitter,alone, and angry all because Heavy, the second least socially-intelligent stallion I know, won’t pick up on subtle cues. But you’re right, that’s probably better.”

“You… sh-shut up.” Pyro sputtered as she became more and more flustered.

“Or, you could follow Fluttershy and Sniper’s example. She asked him out, they gave it a shot, and now they’re a couple. No mess and no trouble. If Miss Hooves says no, which I wagered is as likely as Miss Pauling saying yes to Scout then you can repair that bridge if you just act like an adult.”

She couldn’t think of a rebuttal to that, there was nothing she could say at this point to dissuade herself from it. Yet as she stood silent she felt the clouds in her head start to clear, and she realized she was tearing up. “Why is this so hard?”

“Love is complicated. You either deal with it or feel like this until you do. So are you going to spend the rest of your life not knowing or are you going to hoof it over there and finally confess? I would hurry up and choose, you only have two days left before the festivities..”

“And I really need those fireworks.” Trixie interjected. Starlight gave her a sharp glare and scowl, disappointed. Trixie shrinked back with a sheepish grin.

“Right… you’re right!” Pyro’s ears perked up, she stood up and puffed out her chest with renewed vigor. “I will do this… And when I’m done,” She shifted her focus to Trixie, putting a hoof to her chest, “I’ll get you fireworks by the flankload! The highest yield I can manage!” With her head held high, Pyro eagerly marched towards the home of Ponyville’s favorite mailmare.

Starlight and Trixie turned to Spy, both rather impressed with his motivational speech. “That was… well done.” Starlight remarked, brows raised. “I always got the impression you two didn’t get along.”

“We don’t usually. But one: I like her better when she isn’t behaving like a psychotic arsonist.. Two: she needed the push, and somepony had to give it to her.” He adjusted his tie with a twinge of magic, “And three: Pinkie Pie has been taking bets and I stand to win a decent amount if Miss Pyro ends up with Miss Hooves.” He smirked.

Pinkie rose from the bushes, wearing a translucent green visor and carrying a notepad. “Y’know tampering with the betting pool is preeeetty unethical.”

“Betting on our friend’s love life is also pretty unethical.” Starlight quipped as she raised an eyebrow.

Curious, Trixie snuck over while Pinkie Pie was distracted and peered into the notebook. Surprised by its contents, Trixie read aloud. “Scout has 20 bits on nopony asking either out, 3 bets of 15 on Derpy asking Pyro first, 2 Bets on Pyro asking Derpy. Heavy bet Pyro will explode, Medic put money on her burning a building to the ground…and Soldier put 200 bits down on Spy exploding?” They all turned to the Frenchcolt with varying degrees of concern, who let out a nervous chuckle as he suddenly felt a cold sweat along with the distinct feeling of someone watching him.

“I think… I should be going.” Spy looked to his left and right, searching for Soldier’s hiding spot before turning invisible and bolting from the scene.

Riding high off the unlikely support from an old friend and feeling the nervous skips of her heart turn to excitement, Pyro trotted toward Derpy’s house. Okay… alright you can do this. Party’s right around the corner, there’s no time for me to wait any longer. She repeated to herself like a mantra. After a few minutes she reached the small, rustic cottage where Derpy lived. Disorganized flowers were hung around the windows, a lightly dented green mailbox behind the chest high white picket fence gate. Just being here, knowing what she was about to do, filled Pyro with a rush of pleasant memories along with thoughts of what might lie ahead.

Pyro swallowed her nerves and walked up to the door, heart thumping against her ribcage. She lifted a hoof to the door and hesitated. “Just… do it you idiot.” She muttered to herself before tapping her hoof against the door.

“One minute!” She heard somepony yell inside. After a few minutes, Dinky opened the door and smiled. “Auntie Pyro!” said the young filly before she gave Pyro a hug. Dinky had grown quite a bit, now being only a few inches shorter than Pyro herself.

Pyro returned the hug with a giggle. “Dinks, you better stop all that growing or you’re gonna make me feel short.” Pyro said as she ruffled the filly’s hair. “Is your mom home?”

“She popped off to the store but oughta be back soon, come on in.” Dinky replied, motioning an inviting wave of her hoof. Pyro walked in and took a look around. She had been inside a few times for small get togethers, but never really paid much attention to the decor. A handful of pictures were hung, but most were of Dinky and Derpy on vacations. On a shelf, just below a group picture of Derpy and her friends, was the respirator that Derpy wore back in Teufort beside a stack of several books.

“Your mom kept that mask?” Pyro asked, walking over to take a closer look at it.

“Oh yeah, she talks about Teufort all the time.” Dinky replied with a smile. “I can't believe you never noticed with how often you're over here. Oh, would you like something to drink?”

“Just some water, please.” She said absentmindedly as she took a seat, looking over the place. It was so… normal, like something out of a magazine. There was a slight mess however, some pointless looking knick-knacks Pyro literally couldn’t understand, it was what she would picture when someone would describe a normal home. Thinking about her room, Pyro realized how sparse her decorating was; no pictures, no posters, no mementos. Her bedroom was nothing more than a bed, a window, and a shelf of old books.

Dinky returned carrying a tray with two glasses; a water for Pyro, and a lemonade for herself. “So what brings you by? Mom said you’ve been missing for a few days. Is everything alright?” She asked, setting down the tray on a coffee table in the center of the living room.

“Yeah, everything’s alright.” Pyro said, taking a nervous sip of her water. “Just had to ask Derpy some questions about the party.”

“Oh yeah! That’s like, tomorrow isn’t it?” Dinky took a sip of her lemonade. “Mom is letting me sleep over at Scootaloo’s house since it’s apparently a ‘grown-up’ party” She made air quotes with her hooves. They exchanged amused glances and then both laughed.

“Yeah, sorry about that Dinks. We have a lot of drinking, dancing, singing, and ritualistic sacrificing to do.”

“Aww, come on.You could at least let me be the sacrifice. I’ll be a great one, see?” She poured a splash of lemonade on herself to imitate a smear of blood, giving a happy smile as she feigned death.

“Well Derpy’s the one doing the stabbing so I don’t think it would go ever well.”

“I’m doing the what now?” Derpy asked aloud from the doorway, an amused smirk across her muzzle. The two sarcastic mares in her living room turned to face her, then burst out into laughter. “Rarity and Spy spent far too much time on such nice clothes for us to go and get them all dirty with stabbing, how in Equestria would we clean the stains?.” She walked inside, chuckling.

“I mean Spy is pretty good at getting blood stains out of his suits.” Pyro joked, smiling nervously.

Derpy shook her head, carrying a wingful of bags into her kitchen. “Dinky, I know we have company but have you finished that project yet?”

Dinky looked away from the kitchen and replied. “Y-yeah, just one page to go.” Pyro raised an eyebrow, not very convinced. The filly shook her head and motioned a hoof across her muzzle, pantomiming silence. Pyro snickered and returned the gesture.

“Well go do it, you know it’s due next week.” Derpy called back, seeing through her daughters’ lies with ease.

“Fiiiiine,” Dinky loudly sighed, letting out a huff as she went to her room. Pyro gulped a little nervously as she watched Dinky run upstairs. It meant that there was nopony left to deflect to when Derpy finally came into the room. Contrasting her happy demeanor when she walked in, Derpy now had a heavy scowl across her muzzle.

After several seconds of an unbearable silence, Pyro nervously spoke up. “H-hey…”

“Have you been avoiding me?” Derpy asked with a harsh tone.

The armor-piercing question caught Pyro off guard, and she sputtered out a mess of words in a failed attempt to explain herself. “I… w-well… I didn’t…” Guilt washed over her as she realized that was exactly what she had done, intentionally or not.

“What’s going on? I talked to Demo, I spoke to Medic and Heavy, I even asked Scout for Celestia’s sake! I was worried!” Derpy’s brow furrowed, her anger masking the great pain she felt. “You’re supposed to be my best friend but ever since they announced that stupid party you won’t even talk to me...I don’t even feel like going at this point.”

“I… I can explain…” Pyro said, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat.

“Can you? Did I do something? Was it something I said?” It was at this moment Pyro noticed Derpy had stopped speaking,instead the necklace she wore was transmitting everything in its slightly monotonous static speech. With her lower lip trembling, Derpy merely stared at Pyro angrily as tears welled up in the corner of her golden eyes. “I would have thought you’d talk to me first instead of just hiding away when all I’ve been trying to do is talk to you!”

“Derpy...I-I know. I’m a mess. I screwed up really bad and I… I’m sorry.” Pyro looked away from the mailmare as she felt herself tearing up. “Look… I uh... “ She took a deep breath and took a chance. “I want to go the party with you.”

“If you wanted that why-” The transmitter began to sound off, but Pyro placed a hoof over the speaker to muffle it.

“Lemme finish, please, this isn't easy.” She took another deep breath while Derpy took a seat beside her, brows furrowed anxiously. “I don’t mean as friends. I… mean as a date.” Feeling a weight begin to lift from her chest, she continued. “A few days ago I realized how much you mean to me and I was terrified of what could go wrong...afraid that everything would go wrong. A-and I didn’t take that well. I freaked out and I… I went back to Pyroland for a few days.”

Derpy sat silently, but her angry expression changed to concern and confusion; made all the more apparent as her scowl began to change.

“Spy snapped me out of it, talked some sense into me...and now I can finally say that I…” Pyro turned to face Derpy with a heartfelt smile as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I really like you, there’s nopony I would rather spend my time with than you. I-If you can’t forgive me, I understand but...I’m so sorry I hurt you, I just was so afraid that if I said how I felt I could lose you…and...and I-” Pyro began to ramble incoherently as tears blinded her, forcing her eyes shut.

Yet Pyro felt a pair of hooves wrap around the nape of her neck and pull her into a soft embrace. It was Derpy quietly shushing her, her expression changed to a tearful smile. “You silly mare, that’s what I was trying to talk to you about all week...Of course I would love to be your date.” Her soft tone sounded like a chorus of angels to Pyro’s ears.

Pyro sniffled and buried her head in Derpy’s chest. She laughed, feeling her damp cheeks soak into the fluff. “Y-you mean it? A-Aren’t you mad at me? Are you sure you don’t h-hate me?”

“I’m… still upset,” Derpy admitted, her smile breaking for a moment “but you weren’t thinking clearly at the time. And if I can help you stay grounded and out of that nasty place, I’ll help however I can.” The two mares shared a long embrace, complete with nuzzles and sealed with a pat on the back. “Now, help me make some dinner for the three of us. Dinky is going to build quite the appetite doing all that homework, don’t you think Ro?.”

The nickname made Pyro’s heart flutter, her cheeks turned a rosy red. “S-sure thing.” The pair got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen, spending the next half hour cooking up a delicious dish while enjoying a more-than-friendly conversation. When dinner finally came and they were all seated, Pyro and Derpy avoided bringing up the topic with Dinky; using clever metaphors and euphemisms to keep what happened a secret. Once the meal was finished, Pyro gave them both a parting hug and trotted back to her home with a joy in her heart she had not felt before, along with the drive to make the greatest fireworks show that Equestria had ever seen.

Since Pyro had never bothered wearing any of the fancy clothes provided by Rarity before, she found it astoundingly difficult to get on the dress that was made for her. Rarity seemed to have gone over the top on this one though, as there were zippers to keep everything in place. Her normally unkempt mane had been brushed to a smooth copper luster, a price she had to pay to keep Rarity from doing her makeup. Pyro was already out of her element enough without needing to worry about eyeliner or blush.

“This stuff is fireproof right? I’m manning some pretty heavy duty fireworks later tonight and I would hate to burn up all your hard work.” She looked at herself in the mirror, barely recognizing herself in this ensemble. It wasn’t a bad feeling however, she quite liked how pretty it made her look and feel.. Growing up Pyro had never been partial towards the more ‘girly’ expectations those around her had, but she always had a soft spot for the flowers she would see. Having noticed this particular fondness, Rarity had used some textured fabrics to craft several red roses along the chest of Pyro’s dress.

“Technically? Yes, but I wouldn’t get too close.” Rarity remarked with a partial smile, but it quickly devolved into an excited squeal,“Ooooh I’m so excited for you!”. Pyro could only roll her eyes as Rarity wrapped up the finishing touches. “You’re ready darling. Now get out there, get your date, and head to the town square.” Rarity opened the door for Pyro with a flourish of magic, throwing open and missing Miss Pauling by mere inches as she walked in.

“Oh, so sorry darling!” Rarity apologized, “I take it you’re here for your dress as well, yes? I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” She trotted towards the backroom to retrieve Miss Pauling’s dress.

“It’s alright, thank you, Rarity. I really apprec-and she’s already gone...” Miss Pauling said huffingly, “Oh, hey Pyro. Are you feeling okay? I didn’t see you around after that whole… incident between me and Scout.” Miss Pauling rubbed the back of her neck, giving a half-hearted chuckle to hide her embarrassment.

“I uh… Had a few bad days.” Pyro admitted with a smile. “Everything turned out alright though.”

“I’m glad to hear that. See you at the party, I’m hoping I can get through this soiree without Scout bugging me too badly.” Miss Pauling joked.

Pyro stepped out of Carousel Boutique and onto the streets of Ponyville, she could feel the afternoon sun’s warmth shine through her mane. With a great deal of excitement carrying her along, she trotted towards the edge of town where everyone was; every last one of them helping with the final preparations for the party. Applejack, Heavy, and Pinkie laid out a smorgasbord of food; ranging from cupcakes, to apple tarts, sandviches, and more. Democolt set up both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks while Sniper and Fluttershy worked on a few last minute decorations. Engineer was busy finishing up the DJ booth for Vinyl Scratch, an extravagant setup in front of a large dance floor, one big enough almost fifty ponies. The clearing chosen for the party was massive, the perfect size for everyone in Ponyville. Pyro looked high and low for Derpy, but didn’t see her. “Must be taking care of Dinks.” she muttered to herself.

Pyro eventually took a break from searching for her date and milled around to Demoman, gliding behind the bar. “Sorry miss, but no drinks til the party starts.” Demcolt said firmly, turning around to face whoever was so eager to start drinking. He bit his lip to suppress a chuckle as soon as he realized just who it was. “Cripes, you uh… actually look like a girl fer a change.” He teased.

She furrowed her brows and looked at him with venom in her eyes. “You can either give me a drink as an apology, or you can say it through a hole in your neck.”

“Ahahaha, of course, no need ta git nasty with me.” He laughed, sliding her a shot of scotch. “Ay, sorry to hear what happened, if I’d known I woulda been there to lend a hoof.” He poured himself a glass and the two clinked them together before taking a sip.

“I appreciate it. I really wish the others had any sort of romantic advice though. Seems like you, Sniper and Spy are the only ones with any clue of what to do.”

He nodded. “Love bites, lass. Now get out there, I really do need ta get stuff cleaned and ready. Trixie’s waitin’ by the dance floor for ya.”

Pyro downed the rest of her drink and trotted towards the stage, where Trixie seemed to be going over a setlist with Vinyl Scratch.

“That’s a terrible finale song, I’m telling you,” Trixie complained. “You need to change it!”

“I am not altering my setlist 20 minutes before the party starts. No substitutions, no refunds. Either deal with it or I’m walking.” Vinyl went back to her turntables and started setting up records, visibly annoyed.

Trixie huffed and moved to Pyro. “At least somepony here can appreciate my work. Please tell you got everything I wanted done.”

“I got everything you wanted done.” Pyro said, avoiding eye contact with Trixie as she tried to bluff the stage magician.

“So you didn’t get everything I wanted done then?”

Pyro smiled sheepishly. “Sorry about that… I got like, 65% of it done. The finale is complete but I only have a bundle or two of the smaller ones for throughout the party. I’m sorry, Trix, I just ran out of time.”

Trixie gave a disappointed sigh, but quickly shifted to a friendly smile. “No worries, I can work with it and the few I have in my cart still. It’s okay Pyro.”

“I stashed them behind your cart, there’s a piece of paper attached to it that tells you what each one will look like when it goes off.”

“I appreciate it Pyro...and I think she would appreciate it if you would turn around.”

Pyro raised an eyebrow at the odd suggestion but did so, her breath hitched in her throat once she caught sight of Derpy Hooves across the dance floor. The gray coated mare looked lovely as the luminous golden glow from the setting sun cast across her, complimenting her equally golden eyes. It was not as though Derpy did not have her own charm to her, but the ensemble she had on made it into something greater to behold. The silver dress she wore, much like the one Pyro had seen her in during the fittings, but the additional flourishes seemed to give her an almost radiant quality. Her hair had been brushed straight, being free of its usual messy look allowed the golden locks to frame her cute face perfectly.

“...and I’ve got the bits, so I’ll pay you after the party, sound good?” Trixie’s voice faded in, breaking Pyro out of her dazed state.

Pyro shook her head in an attempt to clear her foggy thoughts. “Huh?”

“I was talking to you about payment but somepony seemed to distract you.” Trixie said with a wry smile, glancing at Derpy before returning her focus to the flustered firebug. “Go get her. But if I were you I would get my wings under control first.”

Pyro’s cheeks turned a bright red once she realized how stiff her wings were, she quickly tucked them back against her body and gave a nervous laugh. She called out to her date and quickly trotted over, “Derpy! I’m over here!”

Derpy turned to Pyro and her a heart melting smile, complete with blush. “Ro, you look… wow,” She giggled happily.

Pyro did her best to think of something flattering or flirtatious to say. Instead all she managed to do was sloppily stammer out "Nice."

That trainwreck of a compliment earned a giggle off Derpy. Pyro giggled in turn, and suddenly the two were loudly laughing together as the party began.

The crowd gathered as Twilight’s voice came through the speakers, she began to clear her throat. Everypony simmered down into a quiet chatter, eager for the festivities to start. “Fillies and Gentlecolts, thank you all for coming. Five years ago we welcomed a group of rather unusual ponies into our community. It was thanks to their brave actions and loving hearts that me and my friends were kept safe in those months we disappeared. And on this day, five years after stepping back on Equestrian soil, we honor them.” Twilight motioned to the group of ten, whose attired seemed to stand out amongst even the most finely dressed.. The large crowd began stomping their hooves in applause. The band of ex-mercs walked forward; some basked in the attention like Scout and Demoman while others merely gave an honored bow such as Spy and Medic. Pyro however felt exposed in front of everyone, her cheeks flushing a twinge pink. “Tonight, these ten are our honored guests. Spy, would you care to do the honors?”

“Certainly. Let us begi-” Spy was immediately cut off by Scout who dashed to the edge of the stage and leapt into the air.

As Scout flew up he loudly and excitedly shouted, “Let’s get this freakin’ party started!” Scout’s voice was immediately followed by the sound of a heavy bass kick of the musical set, which drowned out the numerous expletives Spy uttered after that disrespectful stunt.

As the sound of everypony speaking was drowned out by the intense bass line, it took a moment for Pyro to notice Derpy tapping on her shoulder.“Care to dance?” Derpy asked Pyro, offering a hoof. Pyro nervously looked behind her, only to spot Democolt nodding at her over and over while waving a hoof at her, shooing her towards the mailmare. Pyro swallowed her nerves and took Derpy’s hoof, and immediately the two were swept into the crowd. After a short while they found a space on the dance floor and started moving.

The two of them quickly realized just how uncoordinated they were, almost stepping one one another’s hooves. Pyro had not attempted to dance as a pony before and found herself falling over herself and onto her back. Watching her date dance so poorly had Derpy laughing, but her laughter turned to an embarrassed chuckled after her own failed efforts nearly knocked over a stallion just a bit too close to her. As they struggled to bust any sort of move they had the time of their lives together, retiring from the dance floor once the high energy song ended. Settling down by the snack table, the two mares began some idle chit-chat to pass the time.

Eventually the conversation between them led to Pyro noting how easy it was to talk to her new marefriend, even after all the fears she felt a mere day ago. It had become so easy in fact that neither Pyro or Derpy were keeping an eye on the time, as before they knew it it was past sunset, with the moon shining overhead.

With the moonlight casting its glow upon the dance floor Vinyl grabbed the mike. “Alright guys, let’s get some slow songs going.” Vinyl put on a popular love song and several couples seemed to make their way to the dance floor

Hearing those wistful chords made Pyro feel a sudden nervousness wash over her. “I’m parched, are you parched? L-lemme get us something to drink,” She stammered out before quickly trotting over to the crowded bar. Various ponies were mingling with one another while Demo shook a cocktail between his hooves.

“So how’s it goin, lass. I take it ya need a little something ta take the edge off?” He laughed, using his magic to pull a pair of mugs out from under the counter.

“First of all it’s going very well, so you can shove it. And secondly yes. Very, very badly.” She admitted.

Demo poured two drinks; a fiery red rum cocktail and whiskey lemonade. He placed the two glasses onto a silver tray and scooted it across the counter. Pyro took the tray began to walk back to the table where her date waited.up “Now don’t go spilling that, I would hate ta see those fine drinks ruined by Rarity’s dresses!” He chuckled at his own joke and got back to work, making small talk with the other patrons as he made more beverages

Once Pyro got back to the table and set down the tray of drinks, she turned to face Derpy, whose eyes locked with hers, a wry smile across the mare’s muzzle. The slow song finally came to an end and a new melodic one began, soft electronic beats washing over the floor as the couples grew close. Derpy nodded her head towards the nearby woods, gave Pyro a knowing wink, and began walking towards the trees as she whipped her tail invitingly.

Feeling a wave of excitement as her face turned positively pink, Pyro followed her date into the forest and away from the party. There were several moments where Derpy was out of view, but her quiet hum helped to guide the lovestruck firebug. It was not often that her natural voice graced Pyro’s ears, in truth she had never heard her sing, but it was a truly enthralling sound.

The clearing that Derpy had led her to could only be described as picturesque; the leaves upon the trees were a lovely shade of green that accented the violet sky above, vines growing across the many trees were gently draped across like festive banners, and a hole in the canopy let the luminous moonlight above shine. In the middle lay a glistening pond lit up by the moonlight, the slight movements of the water tossing soft reflections upon everything, including the gold maned beauty that stood at the other side of it. Taking in the breathtaking sight had Pyro’s heart thumping against her chest, yet she walked around the softly rippling water as if entranced by it all.

“It...it’s beautiful.” Pyro managed to whisper as she felt herself become overwhelmed with a flurry of emotions that were strange to her, but not at all unpleasant.. Even though they were away from the party and all alone, the could still here a soft song start up, echoing through the trees and carried across the wind.

Derpy smiled as her eyes locked with Pyro’s, her gray coat lit from all angles by the full moon above.. “Wanna try that dance again?” She asked with a soft, genuine smile.

Pyro stepped forward and put her neck against Derpy’s in a tender embrace, placing a hoof around her, and spinning in pace to the soft, slow music. Lyrics about moonlight and dreams caressed her ears as she felt her mane brush against her date’s. Pyro felt as if she was on cloud nine, her wings spread wide and brushed against Derpy’s grey wings as they danced alone together.

The pair put their foreheads together, slowing their movements as the song began to near its end. Derpy’s eyes focused onto Pyro’s, and vice versa. As the song launched into the final chorus the two could not take their eyes off one another. All the sounds that echoed around them seemed to turn to static as Pyro could hear nothing more than the intense beating of her heart. “Do it…” Pyro thought to herself,” just… take your chance.” She wanted to lean in, to kiss the love of her life and bask in this sweet embrace until the sun rose. Her heart ached wantingly as the song finished, a final chord that seemed to drag on forever.

Meanwhile, in another plane of existence, a draconequus was grinning ear to ear as he blew his nose into a handkerchief. “I do so love a happy ending” Discord sighed, his goat leg kicked up under his lizard claw on a toadstool as big as a footstool. He tossed the handkerchief aside and the scrap of cloth grew a pair of legs, ran into the kitchen, and leapt into a trash bin.

The CRT television he watched started to hiccup; displaying a slight static image. In response Discord popped his griffin claw off and sent it to adjust the rabbit ears sitting atop the device. Soon the claws were going to work in a mindless effort to fix the reception, bending the wires into folds and bends that more closely resembled knots.

There was a loud and sudden sound of a braying donkey that shook his walls, Discord quickly recognized it as his door bell. He snapped the fingers on his lion paw in a flash his front door appeared next to his couch. Discord swung the door open to reveal a tall, cloak wearing man that seemed to be standing on the ceiling.

“Oh Merasmus, you’re just in time! Derpy and her Pyro paramour just snuck off into the forest. I don’t think it’s going to stay TV-PG for long,” He chuckled as he elbowed the wizard in the side. The claw finished playing with the ears, making them resemble a classic pretzel, and the picture came back into focus; displaying the two mares moments away from a passionate kiss.

Merasmus seemed to grimace. “Watching your silly little ponies again? Discord, what say you to us giving them a visit?” He pointed at the TV. “I have some unfinished business with them.”

“Oh don’t tell me you’re still bent out of shape because Soldier stiffed you ten dollars!” Discord reattached his griffin hand and leaned back, purposefully contorting himself in a seemingly impossible manner. “You go on and on about it, just try to relax a little, we’ll have a few hands of cards and you’ll be back to conjuring ducks, skeletons, and more just like old times.” He fanned a deck of cards extravagantly, all of them jokers and sporting Discord’s smiling face.

“No cards tonight.” The wizard replied, causing the cards to frown in response. “Wouldn’t you rather attend the party? We will have quite a bit of fun, two masters of chaos crashing such an event would surely be more enjoyable than another night of texas hold ‘em.”

“Fine, we can go and enjoy the party.” Discord snapped his lion fingers and in a burst of magic light his best suit appeared on him; a finely pressed black suit with a white undershirt that bore cufflinks resembling the suits from your typical set of playing cards. “I promised Fluttershy I wouldn’t but she promised Sniper and her were just friends, so what’s the harm in just dropping by for a spell?” He dusted his suit off, his tone was as excited as it was bitter.

Merasmus smiled and adjusted his hood slightly. “Lead the way then.” The ominous wizard stepped onto an unusually large floating orb he’d left parked outside Discord’s chunk of suspended land. “I would hate to miss the grand finale.”

“Pushy tonight, aren’t we?” Discord groaned as he rolled his eyes and snapped his leonin fingers; the two of them and the floating orb disappearing in a blinding flash of magic light.

As the music began to fade out they stopped dancing, eyes lowering, heads moving closer. Pyro could feel her breath hitching, lower lip quivering, hairs standing on end, everything leading to the perfect moment until...

KraKOOOOOM

The loudest clap of thunder Pyro had ever heard sounded off in the distance. Derpy broke the embrace and moved to get a better look toward the source, Pyro lost her balance and wound up planting a kiss on the ground in front of her.

“Thunder?” Derpy asked aloud.

“Dash was pretty adamant that the weather would be clear though…” Pyro said, her voice partially muffled by the ground. “Maybe Trixie set off some fireworks.”

“I didn’t see any color though… Maybe we should go back and check.” Derpy said as she helped Pyro up. The firebug grumbled in agreement, well aware that the moment was dead and this curious noise required investigation. The pair ran out of the woods and back to the party, where Dash and Rarity were engaged in a heated argument.

“You said that you had it taken care of, Rainbow Dash! That does not look taken care of to me!” Rarity shouted.

“My guys not only cleared the storm cloud schedule for the next three days, we don’t even have any storms in stock right now! That’s not one of ours!” Dash shouted right back, brow furrowed.

Pyro looked at the pitch black storm cloud occluding the moon, crackling bursts of lightning moving through it. She gave it a careful look and, if only for a moment, saw something that appeared to be moving inside the cloud. Something unnaturally large. “Guys?”

“Well it belongs to someone!” The pair kept arguing, neither one looking at the cloud. Meanwhile the crowd around the dance floor paid more attention to the argument than the encroaching storm. Yet the normally serene blue sky was slowly turning a dull and sickly green, as though it were radiating from the cloud. The longer Pyro stared at this enormous cloud of smog and lightning, the more movement she saw inside it.

“GUYS!” Pyro shouted at the top of her lungs, getting everypony to look at her. “I don’t think that’s a storm cloud...”

Something started to emerge from the billowing black clouds; a brown sphere massive in size, easily thirty feet across. As it broke through the storm clouds it seemed to eclipse the what little bits of the moon were still visible. The object finally fully emerged from the cloud, revealing itself to be a disembodied eye, blood vessels still dripping as they hung from the back of it. The ghastly sight had everypony in a panic, all talking at a million miles an hour. As the floating eye gazed upon the masses it felt as if it was scanning over them, searching for someone. Its gaze darted around the crowd for a moment before eventually fixating upon the ex-mercs, pupil dilating.

“I… recognize that eye.” Democolt said, fear rattling his voice. The eye kept growing until finally it fully eclipsed the moon, causing the sky to turn an eerie grey. Riding on top was a strange figure, humanoid in nature. It appeared to be a man holding a gnarled staff, a withered ram’s skull atop his head, and an unflattering robe. “Cower, fools!” He shouted from atop the beast.

The crowd grew silent, save for a few scare murmurs. “What is that? It looks like a giant eyeball.” “It looks angry...where did it come from?” “I think something’s riding it!” “IT’S A HUMAN!!” “A what?” “Lyra, hush, those don’t exist!” “This is just like one of my draconian animes!”

“I recognize that hat, no matter how tiny it is!” Soldier exclaimed, pointing a hoof skyward. “Merasmus! Get your dress-wearing ass down here so I can kick it!”

“Honestly Merasmus, are such theatrics necessary?” Discord flew out from betwixt the clouds, buffing his claws on his suit. “We’re trying to crash the party, not ruin it.”

“Discord, I thought you promised not to come!” Sniper yelled, confused. The former mercenaries’ eyes darted between the draconequus and the wizard.

“Don’t get me started on promises, mister just-a-friend.” Discord pouted, crossing his arms. “Besides, Merasmus here just so desperately wanted to come to your party that it would have been even worse had I turned down such a heartfelt, albeit pushy, request.” He flashed a snide look at Sniper, “It’s called being a good friend, something you would know nothing about you little backstabber.”

“You’ll never get my rent Merasmus!” Soldier yelled. “I don’t even know the exchange rate between bits and dollars, but you’ll have to pry any form of payment from my cold, dead hands! Which I don’t have!”

“Money is not exactly the payment I’m looking for…I have little interest is monetary gain.” The wizard began a deep laugh, tilting his head back as his laugh grew louder and more unhinged. “I finally found you… after years of searching, I can finally even the score…” He looked at the group with a wicked smile and pointed the staff downwards. From the tip of the gnarled staff a sickly green beam fired out and flew towards Fluttershy. The group screamed as Sniper pulled her out of the way. As the blast hit the ground a chunk of earth disappeared, smoking with a putrid sulfuric smell and leaving only a crater behind.

“What do you think you’re doing, Merasmus!?” Discord flew between the group and the wizard. Discord appeared behind Merasmus and placed a pair of groucho-marx novelty glasses over the wizard’s face “You could have killed someone! Did you forget you prescription lenses at home or did you just blow a fuse in the past minute and a half?!” The draconequus’ tone was largely unamused and just barely containing the anger he felt.

The wizard clutched his staff and held his face as soft yet strange sounds started escaping his throat. After a few seconds it grew louder and louder, and they realized it was not the usual crazed laughter of Merasmus. “Oh death would be a pleasure.” As the human pulled his hand away from his face, a paper mask fell off and began to flutter in the wind. The visage of the wizard began to fade and in its place was a man wearing a torn, bloodied balaclava. “They’re going to wish they had died back in Teufort when I’m done.” He gripped the gnarled staff of the late wizard in his tattered gloves and continued his maniacal laughter, “For tonight, I will be repaid what I am owed! Not through petty cash, but through the one thing you bastards truly understand! Blood!.”

Heavy's Sandvich Emporium

The town started to quiet down in the days that followed the ponies return. Attention had started diverting away from the girls of Equestria and more towards the counterparts that had come back with them. Not a soul knew of the teams former human status, but the thousand prying eyes tried to discern the fact without even realizing it. Not helping the interest in the new arrivals was their lack of a real place to stay. The girls’ hooves were full dealing with problems that had arisen in their absence, leaving the team to find shelter on their own.

They trekked the town, looking down every road for buildings that were unoccupied or renting. But the search proved fruitless until they turned down the street and spotted a sign in front of a large building.

"For sale by owner? Guys, I think I found something!" Ms. Pauling shouted, leading them to the building's dilapidated doors. The place had not seen much maintenance, with windows nearly falling out of their panels and boards gracing holes in the walls.

"It's a dump," Scout said plainly

"It'd make nice firewood," Pyro got an unnerving gleam in her eyes.

"Look, I know it isn't much, but have any of you seen anything better for sale?" No one answered. Heavy slowly raised his hoof. "No, Heavy, we can't live in that outhouse. Now, come on," Ms. Pauling trotted into the building.

The inside resembled a hotel, with a front desk and what used to be a lobby. Cobwebs lined the corners, turning the peeling grey paint into white. Pictures lay broken on the floor, showing in sepia the glorious days the hotel once had. On the desk was a note.

"To whoever finds this note,

I have spent years trying to sell this dump. The Lucky 4 hotel died years ago, but no one has shown even a cursory interest in the building. I'm giving up. Under this note is the deed to this building. Sign your name and it's yours. Good luck."

Ms. Pauling blinked. She couldn't believe their luck. "Guys, this building is free."

"Funny, I don't really want it," Scout leaned on a wall. The wall cracked as the wood broke, and Scout fell through the gap. "This place outta be condemned."

"Maybe we should look around a bit. This seems a bit too good to be true," Spy said. The others agreed, spreading around the building. About half an hour later most of them wandered back down to the main floor

"Anything interesting?"

"There are twelve rooms upstairs. Not that surprising, given its former status," Spy said

"The kitchen’s freakin' gourmet," Scout interjected.

"Hey, where are Heavy and Pyro?"

The group looked around. Scout snickered at the implication, although a well placed elbow to the ribs from Sniper shut him up. A loud crash and a scream came from overhead. A blur of metal smashed through the floor, revealing the basement. They looked down to see Heavy under a water heater. They looked up to see a sheepish Pyro. "I found the attic!"

"Heavy found basement... and water heater."

"Astounding," Nurse Redheart looked at the X-ray again. "You had a full size water heater land on you, and the only thing damaged was a cracked rib and a sprained ankle. I don't know how, but in about a month you'll be fine. We’d like to keep you overnight for observation, but you'll be out by the end of the week," She trotted away from the hospital bed as the Russian sighed. The team, along with the girls, all stood around the hospital cot. Scout folded his arms.

"You guys are here for two days and you get yourselves hurt," Twilight groaned

"I was right, dat place is a deathtrap," Scout shook his head.

"Don't worry, we'll find someplace, Heavy," Sniper reassured the Russian.

"We already have," Heavy's look hardened into determination.

"You can't be serious, big guy. That place is a stern breeze away from collapsing entirely," Pyro stuck a hoof straight up, then imitated a building falling.

"But it is perfect. Heavy could live boyhood dream."

"I thought you wanted to be a killer?"

"No. Parents wanted me to be killer for motherland. Sent me to child mercenary camp, where I learned basics of war. No, I wanted to be..." He suddenly seemed sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well?" Pinkie coaxed with a poke to the stomach. A wince of pain and a stern look told her of her mistake.

"Promise not to laugh?"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," Pinkie ran through the Pinkie Pie Swear, motions and all.

"... Chef."

"Well, you do make really good sandwiches," Pinkie smacked her lips

"Sand-VICH," Heavy corrected her as he always had

"So why do you want that building?"

"Building has perfect kitchen, and front room could be turned into restaurant," Heavy's mind constructed the decorations. The three ponies around him shared a glance

"You really mean this, don't ya?"

"Da."

"Excuse me," Nurse Redheart popped her head in. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but visiting hours are over," The ponies in the room nodded.

"Don't worry, man," Scout smirked

Twilight sighed. "We'll think of something. You just rest. Don't want you getting any worse"

Everyone said their goodbyes and left him alone in the room. He rolled over on his side and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

A few days later, Heavy walked back to the building, led by Pyro. "So you feel better, big guy?"

"Yus, only aches now."

The two stepped in the building, and Heavy looked around. The hole in the floor was fixed, but the rest of the building was still as dilapidated as before. Ms Pauling turned to look at them.

"Ah, I see you're doing better."

"Da. Where are others?"

"Most of them are out looking for jobs. Scout's delivering the mail, and I'm not sure where Demo went."

"Speaking of which," Pyro flared her wings. "I'm off to find something myself," She took off into the skies.

"So what should I do?" Heavy looked at his ribs. "Doktor said I should not do more than I must."

"Well, if you're really gonna turn this place into a restaurant, we should probably clean. We'll start with dusting," Ms. Pauling pulled out a pair of brushes.

"You are all really going to help me?"

"Pinkie's setting up a grand opening in a week or two. And she, along with the rest of us, have agreed to help any way we can."

The light blue unicorn smiled. Maybe he really could do this.

They each grabbed a brush in their teeth, and Heavy levitated a broom. They set to work cleaning the dirt and grime from whatever they could. After a few hours of cleaning, Twilight walked into the room. "Ah, Miss Sparkle!" Ms Pauling glided down to Twilight. "Are you looking for someone?"

"Kind of. Where's everyone else?"

"Job search. Why?"

"Well, I had an idea last night. Scout told me this story about his old home life. He sounded so homesick" She pulled out some paper from her saddlebag, "I was thinking that maybe writing a farewell letter could help..."

Heavy tangentially listened to her idea. 'Letter writing?' He thought to himself.

His letter didn't take very long to write. He told his sisters of his adventures with the ponies, something he knew they would be envious of. He handed the letter to Ms. Pauling, who would collect from the others after their letters were done. It saddened him to think the letter wouldn't actually be sent to his siblings, but the act of writing helped put his mind at ease.

In a clearing on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, Heavy, Pyro, Demo, and Pinkie stood gathered around a small tube

"...And just a touch of copper for blue," Demo talked out the chemicals as he put them into the small container. "Alright, it's done," He placed the container in the tube and the group retreated to the fallen tree that they had adapted into a barrier. Demo's horn lit and the fuse on the tube caught fire. A few seconds later, and an explosion shot the projectile out of the tube. It exploded with a brilliant silver light with blue sparks accenting.

Pyro hooped and hollered. "Homebrew fireworks, baby! Ain't nothin like 'em!"

"Perfect!" Pinkie clapped. "So can you two make enough of those for a show?"

"I can make enough for a military invasion. A party is nothin'," Pyro gave a determined grin.

"Jus gotta do a few more tests and we'll be ready to start makin' 'em," Demo said.

"Great! We'll leave you to it!" Pinkie and Heavy trotted off. The two fireworks makers returned to their work. The started arguing about colors to use, but soon the Unicorn and Earth pony were out of their earshot.

"Tiny pink?" Heavy looked up at the moon.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you helping?"

"Whadda ya mean?"

"I have not done anything for you, yet you are helping build restaurant. Why?"

"Silly, of course I'd help my friends!"

Heavy regressed into thought. He'd never really had friends. He'd thought of his team as just that: his team. And the only real friend he'd made was a sparrow at the mercenary camp, who he had lost to a throwing knife... He turned to Pinkie. "Thank you," His voice was uncharacteristically soft. Pinkie simply smiled.

He worked tirelessly, and one by one he received help from his friends. A fresh coat of paint, kitchen equipment, lights, everything came together beautifully. After almost a month of work, the inside looked almost new, with new counters, tables, and paint. Only one thing left to do.

"Is time for decoration," Heavy levitated the large crate he had brought with him. While everyone else had gotten all their stuff in one crate, Heavy had said he wanted his own. As he pried off the lid, the others saw why.

"You filled an entire crate with hats!?" Scout shouted

"No!" His horn glowed. The hats rose, then fell out, and the minigun that had always accompanied him lifted out of the box. "I also brought Sasha."

Scout gawked at the unicorn.

Sniper looked at the hats that fell out. "Wait a sec... Heavy, most of these aren't even yours!" The gold pony said.

"This is every hat Mann Co ever sent out!" Ms. Pauling rifled through the box.

"Da, I found many hats that I could not wear, so I kept them," Most of the room looked at him with quiet contempt. They had looked long and hard to gain their hats, but most of them ended up in the Russian's hands.

"What?" He asked innocently.

Heavy admired the work he had put in. Hats lined the walls, and Sasha sat proudly over the counter. "Only a few more days, then Heavy's Sandvich Emporium and Bar will open!"

"Bar?" A plum colored mare appeared next to him.

Heavy looked around confused, looking at the still locked door. "How did you get in here?"

"I heard bar," She cast glances around the room. "Berry Punch is the name, alcohol is my game," she said as she handed Heavy a business card. Now his attention shifted from trying to figure out where she came from to where she obtained the card, seeing as she had no saddlebag. "Not much of a bar, though. The only drink you've got back there is-"

"World-Famous DeGroot Scrumpy!" Demo interrupted, popping up behind the counter, more than a little drunk off the bottle in his hoof. Heavy looked at the Scotsman as he had looked at Berry. He could have sworn no one was behind that counter...

"'DeGroot Scrumpy?' Never heard of it, and I've heard of every alcoholic beverage worth having," She gave a smug smirk.

"Lass, tha' sounds like a challenge!" He slammed a bottle on the counter. She took a whiff of the drink.

"Geez, I'd like booze, not paint thinner," She recoiled

"Aw, I'm sorry, lassy. D'ya need a drink a bit fruitier? Maybe a Virgin Appletini? Or perhaps a Dark 'n' Stormy without the Dark or the Stormy?"

"Are you insinuating I can't hold my liquor?"

"Yer words, not mine."

Berry took the bottle by the neck and poured it down her throat. She put it back on the table. "While it's not the worst drink I've ever had," she started, "The texture's too rough, and it's especially dry, even for scrumpy. Also-" Her sentence was cut off as the alcohol hit her brain. She slumped over the counter. She raised her head, visibly fighting gravity to avoid slumping over once more. "Then again... I's pretty goo'. How'd ya make it?" She slurred

"Ol' family secret."

"Mom?" A filly walked up behind Berry, calmly talking to the slap-happy drunk at the counter.

"Now who are you?" Heavy sputtered. Once again he didn't hear her come in

"Berry Pinch, but my friends call me Pinchy. My card," She handed Heavy a business card, and the Russian accepted it with a bewildered look. "Mom, you're drunk."

"Pinchy! How’re ya doin?"

"Mom, it's time to go home."

"But mommy's hangin' out with 'er friends!" Berry clutched the bottle of Scrumpy protectively.

Pinchy held out her arms. "Can I at least get a hug?" Berry moved to hug her daughter. Pinchy moved slightly to the left, and Berry lost her balance, landing face first on the ground. A light snore emanated soon after.

"Man, whatever's in that, it's powerful," Pinchy tried to pry the bottle from her mother, but the larger mare clung tightly in her sleep. Pinchy sighed. "How much for the bottle?"

"Uh... ten bits?"

A flick of her wrist and ten bits rolled onto the counter. "By the way, your door's locked. If you want to get some customers, you should probably unlock it". The two left, although Heavy was too busy conversing with Demo to notice them leave.

"How..."

"Congratulations on yer first customer" Demo patted Heavy's shoulder, missing once and falling to the floor with a thud.

"I now declare..." The Mayor cast a glance to Heavy, who stood beside her. "What was it called again?" she said in hushed tones.

"Heavy's Sandvich Emporium and Bar"

"Ah, yes" She turned back to the large crowd. Pinkie had worked her magic and turned the opening of the restaurant into a gigantic party. "I now declare Heavy's Sandwich Emporium and Bar open!" She cut the rope with the large pair of ceremonial scissors. The fireworks Pyro and Demo had set up lit the dark night sky.

"No no no, is sand-VICH" He tried to say, but he was drowned out by the explosions overhead and the "Oohs" and "Aahs" on the ground. Soon his customers poured in.

Vinyl Scratch sat in the corner, spinning records to help drive the party. Right away he had his work cut out for him. Customers ordered quickly. His magic grabbed all his ingredients, making dishes as fast as ponies could order. The big draw, however, was his sandwiches.

Pinkie walked over to Heavy. "So how's business, big guy?"

"Tiny Pink, I cannot thank you enough for this"

Pinkie tossed a sandwich in her mouth. "My pleasure"

Hours later and the party had slowly come to a close as everyone left. Soon only the team, the girls, and a passed out Berry Punch were left.

"Thanks for the gig, Pinkie. Haven't had this much fun since your last party" Vinyl levitated the crates holder her equipment out. "Catch y'all later! Maybe next time I'll be eating instead of playing!"

The girls said their goodbyes, and Pinkie loaded Berry onto her back. They set out, and the door swung shut behind them. Heavy flipped the open sign to closed.

"Heavy, you did good," Demo took another swig from his bottle.

"Heavy has surprise for you all. Come to rooms"

They all exchanged glances, but no one seemed to know what was going on. He led them to their rooms, lighting up all of their doors. With a twist of his head, he opened them. Inside every room their walls contained the hats that Heavy had not given them.

"What? But those were all downstairs" Spy looked at the Fedora and Beret that donned his walls

"Asked Rarity if she would make replicas for downstairs"

"Why'd ya do this?" Scout put on the tossle cap he'd wanted.

"I am sorry about not telling about hats. And I want to thank friends for help"

"Thank you, mein kamerad" Medic trotted into his room. "It is a late night. I believe we're all due for some sleep?"

They shut the lights down, all going to their rooms. Heavy curled up in his bed, finally having what he had wanted for so long: a warm home, his dream job, and the friends to share them with.