The Roads We Take

by louisxiiv

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthro, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human
Length: 6753

Josh is a pretty ordinary guy who is forced to deal with a changing world and overcome obstacles sound completley ridiculous out of context.

Josh is an ordinary guy who's just trying to get by in life and make it to college. Life of course loves making things as difficult as possible, so it decides to change things up for the world and cause mass panic. Josh gets caught up in this and will have to overcome obstacles that he could never imagine. Strange things are occurring in Equestria that could tear it apart at its foundations.

God I hate writing descriptions. Anyway, hopefully this is the first story I'll be publishing here, so take a look and let me know if I should scrap it or if it has some potential. Also just as an FYI, this is not an HiE or Equestria Girls fic. Still looking for cover art so send me some ideas if you do so desire. Oh and don't let the teen and sex tag scare you. It's mostly for language and implied situations.

Published 2015-11-02 23:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-02 23:30:02 UTC

Of Cakes and Portals

Of Cakes and Portals

The sun was just passing its zenith over Canterlot, and most of the ponies that call the capital their home were enjoying the remainder of their lunch and having a relaxing evening with friends and loved ones before they had to get back to the daily grind. Unfortunately for Celestia, she was not one of those ponies. No, she had her duties to perform and high noon marked the beginning of day court. That’s not to say that she was having a bad day though. In fact, she was having a particularly good day. She managed to wake up this morning in time to have some tea with her sister, Luna, who despite being back for only a month, was making amazing progress in learning modern Equestrian. Celestia was very proud of her sister, but she could also tell that Luna was still very much upset about what she had done and was trying to sequester herself to studying and staying out of sight. Well that wasn’t going to happen if Celestia had anything to say about it. She already had a plan forming on how to get her sister out of her doom and gloom state but it was going to take some time to get all of the supplies together.

After tea, they set off for their respective balconies and corrected the orbit of the celestial bodies as the sun rose from the East and the moon set in the West. Celestia smiled and waved good night to her sister before moving in the direction of her personal dining room where her breakfast was already waiting. She preferred to keep these sorts of things simple, so she had no complaints about the plate of scrambled eggs, apple slices, and some toast. It was nutritious, filling, and was everything a ruling sun princess needed, however; sometimes a princess needs something a bit more…..sweet. A mischievous grin played on her muzzle as she dutifully ate her meal and thought back to the rumor she heard about chef Sunrise getting a new assistant. After she finished her food, she picked up the empty plate and carried it beside her with her magic as she made her way towards the kitchen. This way if anypony asked, she could just say that she was taking it to the dishwasher near the front of the castle’s kitchen. This proved unnecessary though as the only sound that could be heard on the majority of her trip was the clip clopping of her own hooves against the polished marble floor. This didn’t really worry her since it was still only about 6:20 in the morning, and the work day for most of the castle staff didn’t start until 7:00. However, she knew of at least one pony that was up and that would be the one who made her breakfast, chef Sunrise Delight. Despite his name, he was a very (and this is putting it lightly) difficult unicorn stallion to get along with at the best of times, and at the worst he was as infamous as her nephew Prince Blueblood. When he first started working at the castle a little over three months ago, he had argued extensively with her over whether or not cake was an acceptable breakfast item, and unfortunately, he would not be dissuaded. Since then, Celestia has been forced to try and sneak her way into the pantry for her daily slice of cake. He was much keener than she gave him credit for, though, and she has not been able to have cake with her morning tea for over THREE MONTHS!!! But no, this morning was different. He would be too busy training his assistant to notice her, and she would be able to savor the sweet taste of victory.

Celestia was visibly shaking with pure excitement as she neared to door to the kitchen’s expo line and dishwashing station. She stopped at the doors and took in a deep breath and steadied herself before proceeding with her mission. She went through the swinging doors and immediately took a left and deposited the plate in the dishwasher. Next, she cast a noise cancelling spell on her hooves and made her way to the door in the back which led to the actual kitchen and then the pantry beyond. Before she even got close, she could hear Sunrise screaming his head off about some little imperfection that his assistant was responsible for. Celestia took a small peak through the window and saw the orange coated stallion with his short and bright red mane yelling at some poor mare. Luckily his back was turned to her and the only other one in there was the tan unicorn mare who was too busy balling her eyes out. Celestia felt her heart go out to the mare, but she couldn’t get lost in her sympathies. Now was the time to strike. Celestia opened the door without making a sound and crossed the room into the pantry without either of two ponies noticing. She couldn’t help but find an enormous grin plastered on her face. This is the furthest she had ever gotten and she could barely believe how close she was to her goal. She broke herself out of her astonishment and immediately started digging through the cabinets for her hidden slice of heaven. It took her about ten minutes but she finally found a carrot cake with cream cheese icing hidden behind a couple sacks of potatoes.

“Hello beautiful.” She whispered as she held the cake up to eye level and let out a single tear. She wasn’t going to waste any more time though and she set the cake on the counter before grabbing a knife in her telekinesis and cutting off a slice. Had she been paying more attention to where chef Sunrise was, she would have probably had an idea as to what was about to happen though.

“Sunny Side Up, stop that blubbering this instant and pay attention so I won’t have to repeat myself. I’m trying to tell you what you’re duties are in the morning.” He said sternly.

*sniff* “S-Sorry, sir.” Sunny said as she wiped her blood-shot eyes and cast her gaze to the floor.

“Good. Now as I was saying, after you have put away ALL of the dishware and ingredients and have made the kitchen so spotless that you wouldn’t mind eating off of it, you only have one last task you need to do before you can take your break.” He said while he picked up a sturdy looking wooden ladle with his magic and walked to the door of the pantry.

“Okay. And what exactly is that?” Sunny asked as she arced an eyebrow trying to figure out why he had grabbed the ladle.

“Never, EVER let Celestia have cake for breakfast.” And with that he kicked the door open and threw the ladle with enough force to knock out an Ursa Minor.

Celestia was just about to take a bite out of her ~~addict-~~ slice of culinary perfection when she heard a voice that paralyzed her with fear and meant that she may not see the light of another one of her days. “Never, EVER let Celestia have cake for breakfast.” The next thing she knew the door was being kicked open and a loud smack reverberated around the room followed by a very painful stinging sensation coming from her rump. This spurred Celestia back into action as she raised onto her back legs and doubled over herself.

“I told you to stay out of MY kitchen Sunbutt!!!” He screamed. With her hooves flailing and scraping on the marble floor Celestia quickly righted herself back up and made a mad dash towards the second door that lead from the pantry to the kitchen while still holding onto her slice of cake with magic. “Oh no you don’t.” Sunrise said with determination as he grabbed the ladle off the floor via magic and ran after Celestia while making swipes at the floating piece of cake as well as Celestia herself. As they both disappeared into the kitchen, Sunny just stood there wide-eyed and mouth agape trying to process what just happened. No matter how she spun it in her head though, she could only come to one conclusion.

‘My boss is completely buckin’ psychotic.’ She then turned around while taking off her apron and began to think of as many excuses to tell her parents as to why she couldn’t take the job at the castle in Canterlot.

A little while later Celestia found herself in her study covered in spoon shaped red marks, sweat, and a bit of cream cheese icing. She truly couldn’t be happier. Sunrise may know every little nook and cranny in the kitchen better than anypony else, but the rest of the castle is Celestia's domain. After a few twists and turns, she had managed to lose him and made her way to her study where she could enjoy her hard earned prize. It’s a good thing she lost Sunrise a few minutes ago too because she had a fair amount of paper work to get through before day court started at noon. Just then a cheery secretary pony with a light purple coat and a light turquoise mane walked in carrying a large stack of papers in front of her. “Here you are your highness.” She said as she placed the papers on the desk in front of Celestia. “Is there anythi-“ the mare stopped short and became expressionless as she got a good look at her majesty.

Celestia looked up from the paper she was examining and raised an eyebrow at the mare. “Yes?”

“Um, nothing your highness. But you have something …white and uh, creamy on your nose. And you seem to be sweating....and have red marks all over you.” Written Scroll hesitantly pointed out.

Celestia went cross-eyed and sure enough there was some extra icing that had escaped her. She smiled and lifted her hoof to her nose to extract the offending confectionary substance and then proceeded to look her hoof clean. “Mmmmmmmmmmm.” Celestia moaned sensually before licking her lips just to make sure she got it all. She then noticed the mare still standing there as stoic as a guard with the only exception being her twitching left eye. “Is there anything else?”

“No your majesty. I hope you have a pleasant morning.” She said with a completely neutral tone and then went to leave the room.

“Well, I already have Miss Scroll but thank you anyway. Try not to work yourself too hard.” Written Scroll couldn’t reply. She just couldn’t and left the room without missing a beat. Celestia couldn’t help but giggle a little bit at the whole display.

‘I can’t think of anytime in the last century that I’ve had this much fun in a single morning.’ Celestia thought with a smile as she relaxed on her seat cushion. ‘Today is going to be a great day.’

Back in the present time, Celestia was most definitely NOT having a good time.

“-and that is why the playground at the orphanage should be demolished to make way for the spa, and furthermore the-“ Celestia zoned back out and tried her best not to get off of her throne and shove a broomstick so far up this posh and self-important mare’s ass that she could be used as a chimney sweeper. This sort of thing doesn’t happen often, but when it does, Celestia has to wonder where she went so wrong in leading her little ponies. Day court is usually reserved for important matters of state like trade agreements and discussion on social and civic policies, but occasionally a young and up and coming noble will grease a few hooves to get an appointment and try to push their own agenda while making a name for themselves. This beige unicorn mare, for instance, is of minor nobility and just inherited a large amount of real-estate. All of which is located in downtown Canterlot and surrounds an orphanage funded by the royal treasury, so in order to raise the property value, she is trying to have the orphanage replaced with a small resort. If Celestia could just find some distraction for the next couple of minutes while this mare finished up, she might be able to enjoy the rest of her day. As if on cue, a guard carrying a letter entered through the main door and discretely approached Celestia while the mare continued without even noticing. Celestia took the letter and nodded to the guard who saluted and returned to his station. She opened the letter and read the first few lines written on it. ‘Finally something to get this mare out of here.’ Celestia thought with no short amount of relief.

“-the community will benefit far more from my-“

“I’m sorry Miss Scrooge, but a very important matter has come to my attention and it must be addressed post haste.”

“B-B-But you haven’t even heard my best points for including the bar and gaming room. Surely you will have me rescheduled for another appointment, so we can finish having this discussion on improving our community.”

“Hm? Oh no Miss Scrooge you don’t seem to understand. I came to my decision when I read the summary of your appointment this morning. And the answer is no. Quite frankly, I am appalled that anypony would suggest the destruction of Equestria’s oldest and most successful orphanage. It has given new life and new hope to thousands of children all across Equestria, and you wish to take that away from future generations just so you can increase the value of your assets. You should be ashamed of yourself. Now, this discussion is over and day court is suspended for the rest of the evening. Have a good day Miss Scrooge.” Celestia said without breaking her motherly demeanor even once.

“W-W-What? How dare you judge m-“

“HOW DARE I!?!” Celestia’s smile and soft expression turned to a hard glare with the fire of a thousand suns as she stood from her dais and made her way to the mare. “You come in here and ask- no, you command me to tear down a building that I have funded for the last thousand years all for the love of my little ponies, and you insult me further by actually believing that you could pull the wool over my eyes and out-wit me for your own personal gain!!!” Celestia was now muzzle to muzzle with the cowering mare as she dropped her voice to drive the point home. “Do not forget whose castle you’re standing in Miss Scrooge, and if you ever come to me under these circumstances again I will throw you out the front gates myself and bring the power of the sun down on you.” Celestia took a step back and pointed toward the door without taking her eyes of the mare. “NOW LEAVE!!!” Celestia was honestly surprised at how fast the portly mare could move with the right motivation, and just like that she was alone in the throne room, with the exception of her guards of course. She took a deep calming breath and counted backwards from ten.

*sigh* “Alright, you can send him in.” The main doors opened revealing a tall middle-aged grey unicorn stallion with a silver mane and tail and a trio of interlocking cogs as his cutie mark. As soon as he could clear the doors, he immediately began marching over to Celestia. “Ah, Top Notch, it’s always a pleasure to see you. I’m assuming you came here to tell me all about your latest research project and how it’s going to catapult our people into the future. You truly could not have come at a better time.” She said with a genuine smile at seeing one of her older and more sincere friends who just so happened to be the lead researcher of the castle's R&D department. However, as he got closer she could make out a frown on his muzzle and it seemed to deepen as he came nearer.

“Yes, I heard from outside, but I’m afraid that I’m not here on a social call, Celestia. There is a grave matter that must be discussed immediately.” Celestia knew this kind of seriousness would not go unwarranted from Top. He usually would have made a joke about the mare that looked like she was about to make a mess on the floor.

“Alright, Top. What’s the problem?”

“There is something syphoning off the magic from several key nodes in ley lines all across Equestria.” Celestia just stared at Top for a good few seconds and let that sink in.

“If this is some kind of joke Top, it’s in very bad taste. The last time the ley lines were affected by anything was when Luna and I were fighting Discord, and even then, when he was trying his hardest, he could only make a small crack in one of them. We tried everything to repair it, but nothing would have any effect. Not even the elements of harmony could do anything, and the line eventually weakened over a thousand years and broke.” Celestia knew by the sinking feeling in her chest that Top was being serious, but she was hoping against hope that this wasn’t real and was just really bad humor on his part.

“Yes, the Everfree Forest never has been the same since its ley line fractured and became inert. But I assure you Celestia that this is not the same situation, and this is not a joke. I have personally tested and recalibrated our equipment and there are now ten known areas with a 50 mile radius that have a magic absorption rate of exactly 0. Just like you, we feared that something had caused these nodes to fracture or break all together, but all of our scans suggest that all of the affected ley lines are completely fine and are not being stressed beyond their normal output. We concluded from our scans that some sort of magic portal is being used to syphon the energy directly from the nodes in the ley lines. We managed to isolate one and we hauled several rune and glyph decryption specialist out to it in hopes of finding out its purpose, place of origin, etcetera. Unfortunately, as soon as they cast their spells, most fell to the ground writhing in agony from the sheer complexity of the spell used to create the portal. Only one stallion managed to hold the spell long enough to get an actual look at it and he’s now in surgery for a brain aneurysm and hemorrhaging. Before he passed out though he managed to tell us one thing about the portal, which honestly just makes this whole situation more vexing than if the nodes had broken from overuse.” Celestia’s already sinking feeling decided to take a dive off a steep cliff as she couldn’t imagine something worse than permanently losing magic in certain parts of the country. Top took a deep breath as if he couldn’t quite believe the words that were about to come out of his own mouth. “He said that the portal’s end point is nowhere in Equestria or even on this planet. He said that the distance it's traversing is practically immeasurable and that it’s too structured to just be some natural phenomenon.”

“Top…are you trying to tell me that somehow, somewhere there is an alien force that has the ability to directly affect our ley lines and not even be on the same planet as us. AND they are effectually stealing all of the magic out of key areas across Equestria AND can continue to expand their influence on our world?” Top lowered his head and took on a more somber mood.

“I know that it’s a hard pill to swallow Celestia, but it’s the only working theory we have right now.”

“…”

“…”

‘And to think, the day had started so great too.’

“Okay.” Celestia took a moment to collect her thoughts and think of a plan. “So what can we do about them?” Top’s frown turned sullen as he looked back up at his friend.

“This is the part where I actually tell you more bad news Celly. We’ve been trying everything we can think of to at least have some kind of effect on the portals but each time they just destroy whatever machine we try to use or incapacitate whoever tries to confront it directly. These portals are at least as strong and impenetrable as the ley lines themselves.” As Top looked at Celestia he could see nothing but the leader that has directed Equestria's prosperity for the last few millennia, but when he looked in her eyes, he saw the sorrow and fear playing behind them, a mirror image to his own most likely. He felt terrible for being the bearer of bad news, but this last part was what was eating him up more than anything else. “I’m sorry Celestia but there’s nothing we can do. I’ve failed you, and we are completely helpless right now.”

“You have not failed me Top. I don’t have the power to stop this either, but we’re not just going to give up. The harmony of Equestria has overcame all of the obstacles thrown at it, and I am confident that it’s not going to choose now to abandon us in our time of need.” Celestia proclaimed with finality and pulled her sullen friend in for a hug before whispering to herself what was on both of their minds.

“May Faust help us all.”

Author's Note

Oh look it's 4:30 in the morning, and I've been working on this chapter for the past couple of hours straight. Well ain't that neat. Anyway, this was originally going to be the second chapter, but I felt like it would fit a bit better if it was first. Let me know what'cha think in the comments below. And as always destroy the typos.

I seriously have no idea what happened

“Hey Josh, order up! Your table 25 is ready!”

“Yeah, yeah no need to yell ya fat old bastard. I’m literally standing 7 feet from you.” I replied with just enough mirth to avoid being insulting.

“Ha! I may be fat and old, but I can still run circles around your lazy ass, especially when you’re in one of those day dreaming spells.” Jim retorted with a smile in his usual jovial tone.

With a roll of my eyes, I grabbed the two plates and left the kitchen conceding to my minor defeat. Jim was one of the only three cooks working here and held the prestigious title of 'Head Chef', which pretty much meant nothing but he was proud of it all the same. He sported a lumber-jack style beard, a slightly messy and unkempt chef’s attire, and his signature round belly and face. He worked his ass off (figuratively) to provide quality food that, in my opinion, this cheap ass place didn’t deserve. The other two cooks were complete assholes, so I only ever joked around with Jim although we’ve never really hung out together outside of work. Despite his joking though, he was right on both counts. I was definitely lazy. When I did do something, it was because I had to do it. Even then, I would do it with the least amount of effort as possible, and when I wasn’t occupied with something to do, I usually just drifted off in my head and thought about random stuff. Most of which was unimportant like my favorite TV shows or books. Anytime that I’ve tried thinking about politics, religion, or the like, I would just get a bad headache and be forced to come back to reality. Thankfully, it was 2:00 p.m. on a Friday evening, so my shift would be done as soon as I closed out this last table. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be a whole lot more work that I actually needed to do, and I could finally get back to my apartment and relax for a while.

I was nearing my table and I already had my most “sincere” smile plastered on my face. However, I noticed something outside the store-front window that slowed my approach and made me screw up my face in deep confusion. Outside the window, there appeared to be a large translucent wall of pink very quickly advancing down the street and headed directly for the store. That was pretty much all I could manage to think of until the wall of energy ran through the establishment and collided with me. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt and seemed to only knock me on my back before continuing to phase through the back wall. I groaned out of both irritation and confusion for this seemingly crazy and random event and slowly got into a sitting position so I could assess the damage to the place. Okay, now that is weird. Everyone else is completely fine and unperturbed. In fact, everyone is just staring at me with shock and concern like a pink wall of kinetic energy didn’t just pass through the restaurant and probably the rest of the city. My manager must have heard the commotion though because he was already coming up from behind me.

“Yo Josh, you alright?” he asked while extending his hand and helping me up.

*sigh* “Yeah I’m fine Lenny.” I said while slowly getting back to my feet. Unfortunately, my statement was undermined when I got a strong sense of vertigo as soon as I stood up and stumbled into Leonard, who caught me pretty easily since he’s only 29 and likes to stay in decent shape. He’s a pretty chill guy but he won’t tolerate employees who won’t do their job. He didn’t really mind my ‘lack of initiative’ as long as I got my job done and didn’t fuck anything up too bad. Anyway, we became good friends about eight months ago after I started working here at the beginning of my senior year in high school.

“No, you’re not fine, Josh. Look, you’ve been working yourself too hard lately. I’ll get someone to come clean up this mess and I’ll probably let Jess finish out the table.” He said with finality as I righted myself up again. It wasn’t until now that I noticed the shattered plates and food strewn about the floor. Fantastic. I’m not too sure where this ‘working hard lately’ is coming from, but I’m not about to turn away a perfectly good excuse when it’s given to me.

“Ugghh, I guess you’re right. Wait, you didn’t see that ginormous wall of pink go through this place?” I questioned with just a bit of concern.

“…… Like I said, working too hard. Just go home and get some sleep. I’ll see you on Monday Josh.” And with that he moved on to apologize to the customers and then presumably to find someone to clean up the food and broken dishware.

I kinda just stood there for a moment trying to rationalize how Leonard didn’t see that crazy ass pink wall and why everybody else seemed to be ignoring the situation. I decided to head to the bathroom to shake off this dizzy spell and figure out what actually happened. I went straight for the sink and splashed some water onto my face hoping it would clear my head a bit, which of course it didn’t, so I just leaned on the counter and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was a slightly pale skinned eighteen year old guy with short brown hair and light green eyes standing at a modest 5’11” and weighing only about 170 pounds. I didn’t work out so I didn’t have much in the way of muscle mass, but I didn’t really have anybody to impress either so that didn’t matter too much to me. I would say that my best attribute is my generous smile, or rather that’s what everybody else says. Personally I think it’s my ability to bullshit people and get away with it but who really cares.

During my entire time in the bathroom, I couldn’t think of a single explanation for what had occurred except that I had somehow hallucinated the entire event, which is something that I had never done before and seemed incredibly unlikely. Without a clear explanation, I decided that I’d stared long enough and that I wouldn’t ever be able to explain what just happened so I just chalked it up to an extra crazy day in life. I exited the building and began my excruciatingly long 10 minute walk back to my apartment. Okay maybe it wasn’t that long, but this midsummer Mississippi heat wave was making it feel like I was going to melt into a puddle the whole way there. Most days I would envy those that could afford to drive around but for some reason the traffic was going a whole lot of nowhere and fast.

‘Oh well, at least they get to stay in their air conditioned cars while someone clears up whatever’s causing this traffic jam.’ I reasoned as I trudged along towards my destination. I did finally make it home to my one bedroom apartment and managed to swap my work clothes for my typical house wear of mesh shorts and an old worn out t-shirt. I would have took a shower, but quite frankly, I was exhausted by this point and elected to grab a bowl of cereal and then go straight to bed and catch some sleep. I entered my small kitchen area and quickly rummaged through the barren cabinets until I found the objects of my desire. I set the bowl of dry cereal on the counter and fished my milk from the fridge and finished my culinary masterpiece of Fruit Loops and milk. As I languidly ate my cereal, I began to think about how my life had come to this. I asked for this honestly. Living with my parents had become a pain for the last few years of my life and the inevitable confrontation of me wanting my independence happened, so that’s exactly what they gave me. My eyes lingered on my mostly empty apartment with its only notable items being a standard TV that came with the apartment, my PlayStation 3, and my laptop. It may have not been much, but it was mine. Well, some of it is anyway. The apartment is actually owned by my uncle Danny, which is the only reason I am able to afford the rent since he gave me a generous discount. And by that I mean free, so long as I keep the place clean and don’t destroy anything. I always was his favorite and only nephew. I finished the rest of my cereal in short order and managed to drag myself to the bedroom and climbed under my covers. My limbs felt like lead, and I could barely think about anything other than how amazing my pillow felt. ‘Hopefully I can get some sleep and shake this off by tomorrow.’ I wondered as unconsciousness took hold.

*Ring Ring. Ring Ring.* “Ugggghhhhhh. Who the hell is calling me on one of my days off?” I groaned with no short amount of irritation. My hand instinctively reached for my iPhone that I keep on my nightstand and silenced the ringer while I looked at whoever it was that wanted to wake me up from my nap. ‘HOLY SHIT, it’s 11 A.M! I literally slept for 20 hours! And why is Leonard calling me? He knows that I’m not gonna fill in for anybody.’ I wondered as I tapped the green circle and held the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“About time you picked up dude. I’ve been calling nonstop for like the past twenty minutes!” he exclaimed.

“Oooookay, so why have you been trying to call me?”

“What do you mean ‘Why have I been trying to call you’? Do you live under a rock or something?!?”

“No, but I sleep like one.” I deadpanned. “Why? What’s happened?”

“You mean to tell me that you’ve been asleep since I sent you home yesterday?”

“Pretty much.”

“Wow, it must be worse than I thought. Anyway, get up and go turn on your TV.”

*sigh* “Fine, just gimme a sec.” I’m honestly not sure what Leonard’s going on about, but I’m starting to get legitimately concerned that it had something to do with yesterday. I shuffled my way into my living room and plopped down on my two-person couch and reached for the remote. “Ok, so what am I looking for here Lenny?”

“Just turn it on. Every channel is turned to CNN for a public service announcement. It’s actually what we’re watching here on the big screens at the restaurant.” He stated with obvious unease. I hit the power button and sure enough Anderson Cooper appeared with a D.C. backdrop.

“-we believe this announcement from Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, is due to the very strange events that occurred yesterday which caused the largest number of vehicular accidents and hospitalizations in U.S. history. Were still waiting for Dr. Murthy to make his address, but it seems the majority of victims claim to have been hit by a pink wall of energy that spanned for as far as the eye could see. And if that wasn’t bizarre enough, they all passed out shortly thereafter. But none of that is what has everybody talking, it’s what happened at around seven o’clock this morning that lit up the internet like a firestorm. Pictures and videos of the victims, who are now being called ‘the afflicted’, show muta-. Hold on. Okay yes, we are now getting word that Dr. Murthy is at the podium and is ready to begin.” I watched as the screen switched to a room in the White House where a very tan skinned man stood making slight adjustments to the podium with no other sounds being heard in the room.

“Good evening ladies, gentlemen, and America. I strongly dislike the use of platitudes, and if I had stood there listening to my aids on what to say and how to say it, you would be waiting for quite a bit longer. So let me cut to the reason for all of us being here and make this brief. At approximately 3:00 P.M. eastern standard time, a world-wide event occurred that seems to defy all logic and understanding. It has affected approximately eight percent of the United States’ population and that number is expected to rise as more cases are brought to light, and we are still unsure as to how much of the world’s population has been affected. As you have undoubtedly heard, those that were affected claim to have seen a wall of pink energy and were then briefly impacted by it before it phased through them and continued on its original path. This wall was not seen by anyone who was not affected by it, and for those that were, they immediately felt symptoms of light fatigue and dizziness. These symptoms progressed in severity for about one hour until the victims fell comatose. Many of whom still have not woken up.” His tone became more somber as he took a pause for a sip of water. “Fourteen hours later, at approximately 6:00 A.M. eastern standard time, those that were affected developed instantaneous mutations. These mutations vary in type and severity for each individual. I have read reports of men sprouting feathered wings as well as developing the muscles, tendons, and ligaments to use them. There are also cases of people sprouting a colored spiral horn from their foreheads. Some have developed tails, ears, muzzles and other features similar to equines and other animals. *pause* We do not know how any of this has happened. We do not know if it is a virus, a bacterium, an act of terrorism, or one of God. We have not seen any indication that whatever it is that we are dealing with is contagious, but until we can be sure of the extent of these mutations and whether or not they are transmittable or pose a threat to the population, all of those that have been affected will be placed under quarantine. I would also like to take the time to say that those who have been affected are still considered human and will be treated as such with all the rights that they deserve. If you or someone you know has been affected, please call the local authorities so that the public health isn’t put in any unnecessary danger. That is all that I can say about the matter at this time, and I will be unable to answer any questions. I wish you all the best of this evening.” And just like that he left the podium. The room erupted in reporters screaming for answers, but the screen quickly switched back to Anderson Cooper. Before he could even get a word out, I was already turning off the TV. I just stared dumbly at the blank screen for a while trying to digest what I had just heard, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to think about all this? Finally, Leonard’s voice broke me out of my stupor and I put the phone back up to my ear.

“Hello, Earth to Josh. Is anyone home?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m here.” Fear now evident in my voice.

“Good. Now, are you okay?”

“I…don’t know.” I began to frantically look over my own body expecting to find some horrid mutation marking me as one of these ‘afflicted’, but I couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. “I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with me.”

“Go check in a mirror just to be sure.” I got up and went with trepidation to my tiny bathroom and looked in the mirror. At first, I felt a huge amount of relief as I saw nothing wrong with me, however, that relief turned to dread as my slight smile revealed a pair of pointed canines. I opened my mouth as wide as I could and looked at the foreign dental work. They were definitely longer than before and were as sharp as a knife. They actually looked a lot more like fangs than extended canines, and it was at this point that I started to panic. I closed my mouth and looked back into the mirror and found my second change. My eyes had completely changed color. Instead of the usual light green, they now were a bright gray. And when I say bright, I mean they were practically glowing. I began to scrutinize every detail I could in the mirror just to make sure nothing else was wrong with me, but Leonard was getting a bit impatient.

“Well?” he asked half concerned and half annoyed.

“Ummmm, I-I’m fine. It’s all good.” ‘Why the fuck did I just say that. I mean how could I possibly hide this?’

“Really? Oh, well in that case I’m coming over right now.” He clearly didn’t buy it.

“NO! I mean, don’t you have work to do at the restaurant?”

“Owner just closed us down for the day. Josh, I’m either coming over, or I’m calling the cops. What’s it gonna be?”

“...Okay, you can come. But, I mean, there may be one or two small changes.” I said hesitantly.

“Explain.” Leonard practically commanded.

“Well, I would rather not say over the phone.” Honestly I was just delaying the inevitable. I seriously doubted that my phone was being tapped and a S.W.A.T. team was going to be busting down my door in a few minutes. I mean, that’s just crazy talk, right?

*sigh* “Fine, I’ll see you in a few Josh.” And then he hung up.

‘….’

‘….’

‘…..Shit. I am so fucked.’

Author's Note

Hey guys let me know what you thought in the comments below. If you haven't figured it out, this story is going to be a lot of slice of life but don't worry there is a reason for all of this happening. Well, you know, probably. Anyway, eradicate the typos or whatever so I'll see you guys again soon.