Quid Pro Quo

by AWOL the Hipster

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Dark, Alternate Universe, Random, Crossover
Length: 1290

Everybody's favorite manipulative and genius sociopath that likes to eat fava beans somehow finds himself in Equestria.

Doctor Hannibal Lecter, also known as Hannibal the Cannibal, suddenly finds himself in Equestia with no recent memory of how he arrived there. A cannibal, psychiatrist, polyglot, culinary and wine connoisseur, and manipulative sociopath, he has killed and eaten many victims. Fleeing to Florence, Italy after escaping from prison in Baltimore, he spent several years with a new face and a new identity, before having to escape yet again to South America. This time, he is in a completely new world filled with innocent beings. Uncertain of how he arrived and how events would unfold, he attempts to contact ponykind.

(This may or may not be a small one shot.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-01 18:20:01 UTC

Prologue: A Queer Situation

Prologue: A Queer Situation

Dr. Hannibal Lecter opened his eyes in one single quick motion. His eyes, a deep maroon that reflected pinpoints of red, quickly darted around to scan his surroundings. He found himself laying on a grassy hill in a meadow. The sky was a deep blue and clear of any hazy white clouds. The grass surrounding him was a uniform green. He took a deep breath through his nose and could identify the smells of earth, trees, and fresh crisp air. There were no overlapping smells like he was used to in such as in cities while on the run. He then examined himself. He wore a light blue oxford dress shirt with a tie made out of human leather that he himself had previously cured several decades ago. He had on a tailored charcoal gray Italian suit with light brown brogue dress shoes, also Italian made. Lecter was a man of exquisite tastes and culture, something he learned to obtain to differentiate himself from other sociopaths and psychopaths.

He tried to recall where he had been before finding himself in this new location. He could only remember being at an opera with his lover, Clarice Starling, in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He can only remember up to the point of seeing his old caregiver, Barney, at the opera. Standing up and dusting himself off, he further surveyed his surroundings. He was near an edge of a dark forest, and in the distance there was a quaint medieval-style village; complete with thatch roofs. In the distance, there was an orchard of trees. Frowning, he could not think of any current villages with this style of architecture, perhaps he should brush up on his geography.

“I should walk into the village and see where I currently am.” He decided.

Walking a few miles to the village was not very hard for him, in consideration of his old age. He was, after all, 61 years old. In spite of that, he was in peak physical condition. He was no match for Francis Dolarhyde, who was a beast of a man who was obsessed with a specific painting. However, Francis was dead and Lecter was alive. Lecter started to ponder about how he arrived at this location, since he has no recent memories of events leading up to the present. As he thought, he rubbed the surgical scar on his left hand where he removed his extra middle digit.

As he grew closer to the medieval themed village, he observed colorful shapes in the distance, flying over the village. He was not close enough to discern what the colorful shapes were. Perchance it may just be kites, and the village was a popular attraction known as a renaissance fair. He was not familiar with renaissance fairs nor how popular they could be in Argentina – that is, if he was still in Argentina. Around a kilometer away, he could clearly distinguish each building and could also see that the colorful shapes were actually colored equines. Confronted by the absurdity of it all, he decided that he was either in a dream or he finally had a mental breakdown. However, predatory thoughts started to run through his mind and he decided to try and interact with these strange beings.

“How quaint,” he thought, “A medieval style village inhabited with kaleidoscopic equines.”

He started to walk on a dirt path leading to what seemed to be the main road of the village, the medium brown dirt lightly crunching under his light footsteps. He suddenly froze.

“However, if there are no people here, I wonder how they will react to somebody of my stature.” He weighed his options.

“Don't be preposterous.” He reprimanded himself. “There is no reason to believe that these equines would be sapient. There has to be people who built this village and dyed all these horses a painfully chromatic spectrum of colors.”

Deciding to take a direct approach, he continued to walk down the main road leading towards the small town. He decided on visiting his memory palace later to recollect his thoughts. Strictly speaking if this wasn't all a strange dream.

He finally started to see buildings around him. The buildings were a sandy color with wooden supports and beams visible from the outside, with thatched roofs. Now that he was near one of the prismatic equines, he could see that it had a mark on it's flanks. Lecter inferred that it was a way to mark and distinguish ownership of the horses. However, he has not seen another human yet, which seemed a little odd. He continued walking into town, until he heard a loud shriek. His head snapped to face where the sound came from.

“M-m-monster!” A pink and teal equine yelped as she galloped away.

Dr. Lecter froze, and was thoroughly perplexed for the first time in his life. His appearance was quite new, since he had plastic surgery only a year ago to conceal his identity. Never mind that fact, the horse just spoke, no, shrieked as it saw him. He knew that equines cannot speak for they are simple animals, however this one just spoke. He came to the conclusion that he was either dreaming or not in Buenos Aires anymore. He could hear other yelling and commotion nearby and heard the sound of doors slamming and curtains shutting. Perhaps his appearance may have startled the horses? Possibly, because there seemed to be no evidence of humans around. But how would equines build a whole village?

Reaching a town-square sort of area, there was a tall building that seemed to be made of layers in front of him. There was a market nearby, but it was abandoned. There was a looming and ancient tree nearby, that seemed to have windows imbedded into the trunk and the tree crown. Lecter decided that the best way to establish his location would be to ask around, but it would pose a challenge seeing as the streets were suddenly deserted due to his arrival.

Deciding to try the large building in front of him, he walked up to the large doors and attempted to open them. No cigar, as the doors would not budge. Deciding to seek near the ancient tree, he made his way to the tree. As he walked over to it, he could see many stores, including one that sold quills and  sofas and one that was a bakery. Arriving in front of the tree, he could finally see that the tree was actually a building called the Golden Oaks Library. Since a library is a place of learning, and libraries were usually open to the public every day, he decided to try the door. The door would not budge. Perhaps it was closed, but he could see light coming from a window up in the leaves of the tree since it was starting to become dark. He rapped his pale knuckles on the wooden door that was marked with a candle on a candle stand.

“Spiiiike!” He heard a female voice from inside the library. “Would you go and see who is at the door?” The female voice asked.

“Alright, alright.” He heard a child's voice say. “I swear, if I got a bit for every time Twilight asked me to answer the door...” He heard the disembodied voice mumble through the door.

The door swung in and Lecter looked down to see a purple and green lizard standing on two feet who looked up at him. The purple lizard suddenly froze and stared at Dr. Lecter. The purple lizard quickly slammed the door in Lecter's face.

“Twiiiiiliiiight!” He could hear the lizard yelling out from behind the door.