Royal dirty laundry.

by Lunasservant1985

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Anthro, Romance, Princess Luna
Length: 4829

Discord has been on his best behavior and has only one request in return, to be allowed to do the princesses laundry for them...all of it.

Discord has been on his best behavior for a week, no tricks, no pranks, nothing. So Princess Celestia asks what he'd like as a reward for all his effort. Its a bit strange, because he wants to be the new royal laundry servant, which only sounds like more work. Little do the the regal sisters know the job includes being all alone with their dirty undergarments.

Contains: panty fetish, sexual fantasy depictions of ass worship, face sitting, some cross dressing and real DiscordXCelestia and DiscordXLuna sex.

Published 2015-11-04 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-22 02:15:46 UTC

You want to be our what?

"Oh sweet...me, I just know that Draconius is going to make his move today!" Princess Celestia said as her hands shook the cup of tea she had every morning. In truth, the princess was a nervous wreck and a mess. Her mane, which was usually well kept and ethereal, had gone limp and corporeal with worry. The vibrant mix of the stars themselves and a space rainbow; had gone dull, flat, and the color scheme muted.

She was in shock because; well, last Monday when Celestia had opened the door to her office, she found that Draconius laying across her desk. Discord had a cowboy hat on his head; a tight sleeveless jacket vest and black back less chaps on his legs, his full foot long ridged hodgepodge of a dick poking out from his claws he held it like a bit of cord.

He smiled at her as lust gleamed in a green glow in his eyes; neon signs glowed above him, they said things like, 'live nude,' 'foot long draconian meat pole,' and simply a big red glowing XxX.

"Hello princess, got a side of hot beef steak for you after a "long" "hard" day on the ranch" he said taking a riding crop from thin air and smacking his rear with it. Celestia could only revile in disgust.

"Holy hay bales Discord! Get the buck off my desk and put some damn clothes on!" Celestia said turning away from the elongated and engorged cock Discord was slapping back and forth making it flop and wave, limp then soild hard in between his claws.

"Awww come on sun butt!" He said stripping all his clothes off with a single snap of his claws. "We've known each other for how long? I know you've been wanting to try a bit of the more...exotic tastes than the usual stallions on the royal guard." He said smirking deviously. His words making Celestia gasp and blush as memories of the several gaurds she invited to take turns rutting her came back,the idea that the Princess was throwing orgies with her own guard would be the scandal of the century.

"Discord; I beg you, whatever you want I'll do it, just please don't go public with this. Celesta said taking a seat at her desk and trying to get to work.

"Oh Princess please, I know when I screwed up, if you don't want to go a few rolls in the hay , so be it, I'm more surprised you're not going to punish me for my lewd behavior." He said conjuring up a chair, then a smoking jacket and pipe.

"You...want me to punish you?" Celestia sais taken aback by his words.

"I think you should, I've been a bad little Draconius." He said folding his arms and making a childish little noise as he did. Celestia looked at him with a look of confusion but she shrugged and decided to play along, if all went well at the very least, he'd play some silly mind game that would ultimately lead to Celestia agreeing to allow him to do something goofy, in exchange for taking weather duty from the pegasus ponies granting them all a day off.

"Okay Discord, if you can mind your behavior for ONE whole week then I'll personally give you anything your heart desires...except sex with me!" She quickly added.

"Oh calm your royal tits princess, I know when to quit while I still have some dignity left." For the next week; Discord surprisingly kept up his end of the bargain, he didnt paint facial hair on the portraits, didnt turn into a mosaic to mess with the stained glass, he didnt even fill the pool with vanilla custard. He was helpful, polite and...very out of character. Celestia was sure he was up to something, waiting for her to lower her guard, she wasn't going to fall for his chicanery.

Now it was a week later and she sat at her desk sipping tea with her hands shaking and tail and mane discolored. Possibly the worst of all this, was the laundry was starting to pile up, and it showed. The robe she wore while she sipped had been badly stained, and her panties? Every last pair of both her and Luna's undergarments was currently piled up in the laundry room. All dirty and sweaty in bags, all because she had the servants watch Discord to make sure he wasn't going to leave snapping turtles in the washing machines.

"The price to pay off staying on your toes." She said inching the cup to her lips. Just as it touched her lips, Discord poofed into the room in a cloud of smoke and shouted,

"HI CELESTIA!" which made her jump in panic thinking he had pranked her. Discord only smiled as he licked himself clean of the tea, then he licked Celestia clean, she wasn't amused. Judging by the annoyed look on her face. "Good morning my good princess, and how are you today?" He asked as Celestia only pinched her brow to release the aneurysm he was givng her by being his nutty self.

"Fine Discord, just peachy..." She said through gritted teeth. "No wait! Dont tell me, you want that reward for being so good don't you?" Well fine, what is it your bucked up hodgepodge of pottage you call a brain wants hmmm?" "Runaway cotton candy clouds? A blizzard follwed by a heatwave in the span of a few hours...or shall I call for some concubines to polish your "pole" with their tounges?" She said about to have a panic breakdown from all thr stress.

"Good heavens princess, you look like you could use a trip to the day spa." He said snickering at the irony that he had driven her even crazier without making an ass of himself, then any of his practical jokes ever could.

"Don't patronize me Dip cord, just tell me what you want; get back to making the chairs run away with the end tables, so I can get back to work please!" Celestia said she ran a brush through her mane.

"Very well, Princess Celestia, I Discord...drum roll please...want to be in charge of your royal Laundry." He said snappinh a claw making a red handkerchief appear on his head and an apron on his chest. Celestia couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You what? You; Discord God of chaos and mayhem, consider it a reward to do my royal dirty laundry?" She trying to see some catch in his request.

"Your majesty, I'm practically insulted by that!" He said placing a hand on his chest in a faux hoity toity manner."I would consider it an honor to be in charge of the finest wardrobe in the world." He said as Celestia still tired to see just what a destructive SOB like Discord could get out of her agreeing, when she saw no benifit to him to cause trouble, Celestia sighed heavily and took the key to the laundry room from her ring of keys before handing it to him.

"Now listen you, I'm only gonna say this once! If you do anything to my clothes,even just dyeing them all green, so help me, I will have you thrown into the dungeons, if only because of thst promise I made, never to statuate you again, you got it?" She asked handing over the key to him.

"Oh trust me princess, your clothes are in...good hands" he said, snickering on the inside as he felt the crotch of his pants tighten near his zipper, because she forgot in her stress, that Princess Celestia had just left...Discord, THE Discord alone with her and her own sister's bras and panties.

All alone with the laundry.

"Here you are Discord," Princess Luna said as she unlocked the door to the castle's laundry. The room was located in the first sub-level of the castle; below the main rooms used for events such as the gala and where the general population is usually allowed, but above the more...practical areas such as the dungeons and armory. The room was a somewhat typical example of a laundry room; cold white tiles, white stone walls, and several washers and dryers at the back of the room.

The clothes had been packed up in white canvas sacks; and the two of them passed bag after bag as they made their way to the washers. "Now...I take it thou know of thine sister's warning about our clothes?" She said as Discord rubbed his claws together ready to work. Luna was still in the process of learning modern speaking patterns, she got the hang of saying I not we, and a less...Shakespearean dialect. Yet still was prone to say things like; 'thine' and 'thoust'.

"Yes Yes Luna I got it don't even DYE them a new color, can I get on with my sacred work please?" He said practically gritting his teeth in anxiety to get his grubby hands on those dirty panties. He licked his lips as his eyes caught a glimpse of white lace sticking out of one of the bags. Luna walked off leaving Discord alone, he couldn't help bit give her rear a look as she walked off, she wasn't as conservative as her sister, and preferred to saunter around the castle in short skirts and tiny baby tees, of course in public and when on royal duty she had her full regalia and long black dress on.

"Hmm never noticed the moon goddess isn't half bad herself, but for now...I'll have to make do." He said opening a bag up and dumping its contents on a table out. "Jackpot," he said in delight as the bag held several pairs of Celestia's undergarments. "All alone with the princesses dirty panties." Discord's first pair he practically pounced on; was a white lace pair, the kind that had a full front for the crotch, but the back was little more than a tight thong that...maybe days maybe weeks ago, had been wedged in the crack of Celestia's flanks.

It was a filthy thing to do, but he'd gone this far, too late for shame now. Discord brought the back thong to his nostrils and took a deep, slow, sniff of the sweat and smell of Celestia's ass that had been lingering on the fabric. He sniffed as if he was inspecting the bouquet of some well aged wine, only instead of sweet,and robust. The smell in his nose was; musky, salty, with a slight hint of...odor.

It wasn't a so bad it turned him off kind of body odor, it was hard to put into words, but at best it was like the way some ponies like that body odor smell they get when they're all sweaty, that some other ponies like too for some reason, body chemistry is weird sometimes.

"Ahhh, you smell so devine princess." He said as he felt the blood rushing south to his cock. He wrapped his scally claw on the zipper and pulled it down, the zipper was comicly longer than most zippers. When Discord got the long teeth separated, his footlong Draconian cock flopped out before springing to full on hardness as his jeans hit the floor.

He set the white panties aside before a very naughty idea came to mind, Discord held the panties out as he placed his legs into the holes for them. He shuddered as the lacy fabric felt pleasant on his legs before he snapped them on around his waist and genitals. "Mhhm this is...so wrong but it feels so right." He said as he picked up another pair.

This one was a bit better; as it had more of a backside to it than the others, the crotch was hand embroidered with Celestia's own sun emblem cutie mark, and the panties back had 'hot ass' written on it. In his warped little mind, Discord could see Celestia in the panties, all on her hands and knees, tail raised over her back, as she gave that big bubble butt, no doubt thanks to her pertinent taste for sweets. A seductive side to side sway.

"I've seen the way you're always looking at my royal ass Discord," his fantasy Celestia said as she swayed those luscious hips for him. "Now dig your muzzle in there, and don't be afraid to get...bucking filthy." He didn't need to be told twice, Discord plunged his snout into her round ass without an ounce of shame Celestia moaned in pleasure as she felt his long serpentine tongue slip all around her cheeks, and even the edge of her tight puckering anus. Reality came around to him hard, he believed himself to rimming the Princesses asshole, while all he really had licking the back of her panties. all while he stroked his long Draconian cock, but he didn't want to cum, not yet.

"Let's try and find a pair of your underwear Luna." He said slipping the thong off him, a big wet patch of precum on the front. Discord proceeded to dig in pairs of black and midnight blue skirts, shirts, and dresses. Until he found just what he wanted. "Oh Luna, you naughty, naughty mare." He said as he picked up a super skimpy black thong with blue lace and "naughty princess," written in beads on the bac of the skimpy panties. It didn't take much for Discord to imagine Luna sliding her fingers in and out of her bushy pussy, eyes half lidded and moaning in bliss for him.

"Oh Discord, I'm an ever bigger slut than my sister." she said as she stood over him as he lay on his back, his long forked tounge snaking and anxious to taste the fantasy Luna's succulent pussy.

''Ah Luna my mare, why did I ever run amok all over the world and make that beautiful sister of yours stone me?'' He was actually half right as he said this to fantasy Luna, these two had been what he really desired. their lusciously soft coats, the slender delicate and well manicured nails, and those manes. Discord was more interested in the Princess of the night's ass she was lowering onto his face. Unlike the plump but soft and squishy cheeks of her sister, Luna's rear was well toned and muscular. He imaged she just got done doing some cardio, mady callisthenics and was one sweaty, and filthy pony, in more was than one.

''Oh just shut up and enjoy it you sexy Draoniqquis'' she said practically smothering him with her donut hole as she sat on his face, giggling at the goat beard ticking her pussy, too bad it was all only in Discord's head as he lay on the laundry room floor jerking off. Still, the powers of the God of choas and mischievous intent could warp even his own reality to make his fantasy as real as possible. That fantasy had expanded to Luna swishing her hips back and forth on Discord's face, side to side making his nose bury itself even deeper than he thought possible in the princesses pink starfish. Her moans getting louder and becoming screams as her wings flared and popped open, she came all over his face, as he felt his own orgasm fast approaching.

''Discord,'' Luna called to him, her voice so distant yet getting louder. ''Discord?'' She called again as the dream of the Draconiqquis began to fade away.

''No, not yet! I'm...almost there!'' He cried as his scaled claw pumped his cock harder and faster, dream Luna faded as the icy cold laundry room faded in. ''Buck! No!'' he shouted as he bagan to sweat somepony began to loudly pound the door as his Luna became solid again, only instead of saying how big an ass slut she was, she was shouting.

''Discord! What the buck is going on in there?!'' ''You've been in there for hours! have you even started that damn laundry?'' Luna cried from behind the door. It then dawned on him, Discord was lying on the laundry room floor the princess of Equestria's tiny panties on him, while her sister's was covering his face, several more pairs laying around him, and he was just about to shoot his semen all over the place. ''That's it Discord if that Laundry isn't even...'' she said magicing the door open, but she was stopped by the sight before her, she say Discord's long cock shoot stream after stream of seed onto his chest and the titled floor. He only looked at the stunned princess like a deer caught in the spotlights. She tilted her head at the sight of him, not saying anything, she may have found the situation hilarious, had she not been right in front of it.

Discord slipped the panties off his crotch and took Luna's from off his face, and rubbed behind his head, there was no other way to say it but...''Uhhhmmm...it's exactly what it looks like.''

New moon rises over Discord

''Discord? is that a pair of my royal silk lace undergarments on thine muzzle?'' Princess Luna asked with an eyebrow arched at the compromising position she had seen him in.

''Yes princess, it is.'' He said taking the ones on his muzzle and crotch off him, there was no hiding it, Luna had the sap dead to rights. ''Please, don't be...too angry with me, I only did because I A: haven't gotten any pony pussy in over a thousand years since you two turned me into a lawn ornament for the Canterlot gardens. B:....I've never seen two mares as devine and beautiful as you and your gorgeous sister.'' He said getting on bended knee and appealing to the princess's love of drama theatricics. He made a feathered cap appear on his head and a frilly flamboyant stuffed shirt. ''Oh Luna; my precious Princess Luna, for all those years spent in stone, never before had thy eyes beheld a beauty of brilliance and a hint of bravo.'' He recited showing self satisfying sufficient aptitude and ability at alliteration. ''Know now my ways were only offish attempts at your admiration to me.'' He finished taking his hat off; holding her hoof, and delivering a gentleman like kiss to it, almost making the moronic if not borderline maniacal perverted pest image he had made out to be, become erased from her magesty's memory.

"Oh Discord cut thine act, thou is a perv of pervs and nothing can change that." Luna picked a black lacy camisole and a skimpy thong, she also found a pair of black fishnet stockings. She smiled as Discord began to stuff clothes into a washing machine. As much as she didn't want to say it, she could sympathize with the draconiqquis.

Luna herself hadn't been intimate with a stallion in over a thousand years. All that time spent alone in the cold darkness of the moon, her hands the only relief, it could only satisfy her for so long, it wasn't long before she began to shape moon rocks into improvised dildos, but she had built up a burning desire for the real thing. She wanted a male to rut her like a mare in heat, because for the last several centuries, that's exactly what she had been.

"I'll just have the laundry done, no more satisfying my depraved fetishes princess, I promise. He said though he did sneak a quick sniff of Celestia's white panties with pink frilly lace. Luna smirked as she slid the silky black stockings over her long shapley legs, the she slowly pulled her tight black thong over them under her skirt which she let fall to floor, finally she slid the camie over her baby tee. It was tricky but she managed to swap the clothes without letting Discord see anything.

"Oh Discord?"She said sauntering over to him with a sway and swish of her hips, unlike her sister, Luna was more muscular in build. Her hips where strong and well tapered which complimented her feminine physique gracefully. Her rear filled out the thong on her backside perfectly, and her toned and shapley rump was so tight and squeezeable. Though it lacked the bubbly and jiggling fullness of her sister's sweets loving flanks, many a batpony guard found himself using reserves of resistance, to keep from giving in to the temptation to give her firm, toned flanks a good slap or hard grope.

"Uhhh yes your majesty?" Discord said growing very flustered seeing the sexy as Tartus, the gorgeous goddess of the moon flirt with him. She noticed he was turning red, she gave her chest a little shake making her big, D cup sized brests sway side to side, Luna always admired her bossom and she knew males enjoyed looking at it, but she didnt want to spoil the fun just yet.

"What did thou fantasize about while thoust were jerking off in my and thy sister's royal undergarments?" She said brushing her muzzle against his. He gazed into her big soft eyes, he felt so...safe looking into those eyes, those aqua green rubies of eyes. Like she understood him, she trusted him, and she couldn't nor wouldn't judge him no matter what she told him.

"I...I saw myself." He said as he took her slender, delicate hands in his scaly claws, geeling the gentle velvety fur on them as they held his own ones tightly.

"And?" She said as her wings, her beautiful and devine wings, unfolded behind her, she let the hair scrunchie unroll and her ethereal and stellar mane flowed like a map of the spaceways behind her. In his loins, Discord felt a great stirring as his errection began to stir back to life.

"I...was on my back as you forced that strong, toned ass of yours onto my face." Luna blushed and giggled sheepishly, she never heard any dirty talk before, it wasn't something that the nobility used in courtship. It was a a practice more reserved for the whores and lower class in her time.

"What else? Did we (as in him and her not the royal "we") "have a good time?", as thy subjects say?" Discord smirked as he stuck his long forked tounge out and licked her hyper sensitive pony ear. Luna, like all ponies, loved having her ear played with.

"Maybe we did...would you...like to try it?" He said laying on a towel on the floor. "If your intresed in me that way, as I am in you." He said as the princess stood over him, blushing as red as a rosebud.

"Thou do know the undergarments thou are wearing are..."pretty ripe," "again as the young subjects like to say." She said lowering hervself into the draconiqquis snout.

"Your majesty, your body and form is pure perfection, it makes up for the fact that these bloomers are unwashed exponentially." With that he gave the fabric of the thong a teasing lick, making Lyna shudder in pleasure at his tounge on her royal...and impressively aroused vag. Discord was enraptured by the taste, even her fluid was flawless in taste and density, like the nectar of the sweetest fruits and succulent juices. "Show me your breasts princess." He said looking up at her.

Luna giggled, the princess of the night, the mistress of dreams, and ageless ruler that could command untold forces of darkness, and she was giggling like a little filly. She began lifting her black camie over her head just as Discord caught a glimpse of her dark nipples she let it fall back down, he made a stock deflation sound as his dick went limper than a well cooked noodle.

"Aww why do you have to be such a tease?" He said as she began to grind her hips on his snout, making her swollen lips press against the crotch of her underwear.

"Ask and thou shall receive subject." She said swaying her hips side to side on his muzzle.

"Mmmphh please." He said muffled by muff, Luna clenched her muscles tight, her tights begance to squeeze around his head and he was conflicting between a need for air and getting lost in the sweaty, musky grip of her flanks. Luna rubbed his ears softly and lossened her grip a bit.

"Good little draconiqquis." She said taking her camisole off letting her round well developed D cup breasts bounce and jiggle free. She pinched her peaky nipples and tugged her breasts out, moaning in a mix of pained pleasure at being rough with herself. Without thinking, Discord grabbed her panties by the hem in his teeth and pulled them down. Naked save for the stockings on her feet. Discord leaned up and snakes his long forked tounge onto her pink slit, licking it slowly making Luna moan and shiver.

"Oh yes Discord...mhhhmmm more of that!" She squeaked before biting down on the knuckle of her forefinger. Discord complied by sending his tounge deeper into the folds of her fleshy crevice. He felt a spongy little nub a few inches inside her and gave it a few licks. Luna saw stars as bolts of electricity went from the base of her spine to the very nerve center of her brain, he was licking her G-spot. "Ooooh ahhh! Oh CELESTIA!"

He wrapped his lips on her vaginal lips and sucked her juicy nectar as his tounge licked at her super sensitive spot. She threw her head back as her silky spectrum of a mane flew behind her like curtians caught in a breeze. Discord sucked and licked his allicorn lover nice and clean, she was left flushed red and not all there as she lay on her back panting for air.

"Was it good for you princess?" He asked wiping hos snout clean.

"Discord wait!" Luna practically shouted in her (in)famous Royal Canterlot Voice, "I...I want neigh Thou needest to feel you inside me...I've never been so...Please more." She begged raising her midnight bluish tail over her back and using her fingers, she spread her dripping need lips open the clenching flesh dripping with saliva and her lube. Discord got behind her his long draconian member grinding in between her firm toned rear. Before giving her a sharp slap on the ass.

"Ahh...how...how dare thou spank the royal flanks as if thoust was but a common whorse...do it again!" She begged with his cock sandwiched between her cheeks. He was only to happy to oblige, her wish his command. Another smack to those flanks, square on her half moon cutie marks and the darker fur of her rear. "More...rut me subject, please!" She begged her eyelashes fluttering flirtatiously.

"As her majesty wishes, so shall it be." And he slid his long thick shaft into her depths. His organ slid into her with little resistance, but it did grip and clench him tightly. Luna moaned and gripped her breasts hard as she felt his thighs slapping into her ass, his balls jiggling and slamming into her clit. -"is it too your liking princess?"

"Yes, yes Discord! It's like nothing we've ever felt before!" She said her modern english lessons slipping as he became lost in the pleasure. Her pussy quivered and trembled as his thusts because harder and deeper. He let out a snarl and hiss regressing into the beasts he was made up off. As his claws scratched the dark fur on her ass.

"Oh Luna! Why didnt we do this sooner?" He asked ad his balls began to tighten as he felt hself teetering ever closer to the edge.

"Why'd you never ask?" Luna said her own orgasm getting closet, "ahh ahhh ohhh Discord, please please don't stop, we are so very close!" She screamed and her wings flared stiff and vibrantly untill her voice gave out and her pussy squirted gallons of mare cum onto Discord's cock and balls. He took it as more than enough a sign he could cum.

"Im cummimg Luna!" He hissed and and bared his teeth as he slamed into her one last time and pumped his loads of draconiqquis jism into her depths. As hs cock began to deflate he pulled out shuddering at the sensitivity of his tip as it left her.

"We (as in them both) should get this laundry done before thy sister suspects something. She said dumping an armfull of clothes into a machine. She also threw her baby tee and skirt back on.

"Yes let's get back to work...oh and princess?" He said his eyes locking with her's.

"Yes Discord?" She said kissing him on his lips softly.

"Thank you...I love you princess." He said kissing her back.

"If you want my sister...know that it would bother me not if you get close with her, maybe if you are to her liking as mine, maybe you'll have a chance to see a different kind of eclipse...maybe, she said giving him a seductive and playful wink.