Fallout: Equestria - A Particularly Pernicious Problem Nonparell

by DerpyDaringDitzyDoo

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 7907

Investigating wartime spell research can be incredibly profitable and educational. However Littlepip and friends soon find out it sometimes comes with it's own unique hazards...

Investigating wartime spell research can be incredibly profitable and educational. However Littlepip and friends soon find out it sometimes comes with it's own unique hazards...

Told through the perspective of Velvet Remedy, join Littlepip and company as they go on an adventure and they try to better their relations with the Twilight Society. While looking for a spell that had garnered Twilight's interest shortly before the bombs fell, they soon find out that sometimes side quests are just more trouble than they're worth.

Yes I know this doesn't really fit into canon, but regardless it was quite a lot of fun to write. I completely scrapped it three times until I settled for this, so hope you enjoy!

(I wrote this story for Tutis75, sorry it took so long friend! Life got super crazy and all my writing took a backseat)

Published 2016-09-05 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-05 02:40:01 UTC

What Can Pony's Do Against Such Reckless Spellcrafting

Fallout: Equestria – A Particularly Pernicious Parallelistic

Problem Nonparell

^ ^ ^

“In truth, I have skipped over a fair bit, trying to tell you only the parts of my adventures that were important or exciting enough to keep you reading.”

The rain hammered against the windows brutally as I waited, my blue eyes barely visible in my reflection. Looking out of them I could barely see the Manehatten sky, lightning arcing across the cloud cover in ways that were ominous yet beautiful. “Littlepip we really should get back to Tenpony before this storm gets worse. I don’t think Calamity can even fly in this weather.”

“I know, but there’s got to be something here, the Twilight Society wouldn’t have- ow!”

I glanced across the room behind me in time to see her half-way covered under a collapsed bookshelf and covered in dust, holding a single book in her magic. “Littlepip really, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re even taking this search seriously.”

“What? No I just… tripped is all.” She hastily looked away with a light blush as she levitated the debris away.

“That’s odd, you’re usually fairly coordinated. Perhaps you’re busy thinking of something else? Or rather, somepony?” The debris and book she was levitating all collapsed to the floor as she tried to get her mind working again. I really shouldn’t tease her so much about that, it’s wonderful that she found someone to share her love with. But then again a little friendly teasing never hurt anypony.

“Wha- No I was just… Let’s just go to the next room, there’s nothing here.” She hurried out of the classroom and back into the hallway. I followed close behind with a smile and a spring in my step. We stopped to look out another window at the ever worsening weather. “Yeah I’m pretty sure Calamity can’t fly in this, much less pull the sky bandit.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out, you always do.” Rather than her usually cute blush, all I got was an eye roll as she started working her magic on the next door in the hall. Perhaps I was over doing it with the friendly teasing? I know she’s felt pretty awful after Splendid Valley, and even more so after having removed some of her memories. Speaking of which…

“So Littlepip can I ask you a question?” We both turned from the windows and proceeded down the debris filled hallway. The door to the next room was closed, causing Littlepip to stop short and pull out her favorite pistol. Seriously I think she cuddles the thing in her sleep. After nudging the door open and poking her head in, she waved me forward and we entered the tattered classroom.

“Sure I guess. What about?” She went straight to the teacher’s desk while I looked around at some of the scattered student’s desks. Despite being so old most of them were still in fairly usable condition. One of them had ‘Ruby x Rose 4Ever’ carved into the top with a big heart. How cute.

“Well I was just wondering, about your plan to kill the Goddess?”

She looked up from rummaging through the desk a moment and sighed before moving to a nearby filing cabinet. “I don’t know anything about it, remember? I had my memories removed.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I was wanting to ask you about. I’m just not sure you’ve been entirely honest about something.” Well that certainly got her attention. She stopped looting the filing cabinet to face me properly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I was just thinking, about the things you’ve been through since we left the stable. That train ride and being chased by all of those ghouls, Shattered Hoof Ridge, Radiation Sickness and nearly dying in the Four Stars station. And of course all of those memory orbs, the manticores, Fillydelphia…”

Littlepip had a pained frown by this point. “Okay but what’s your point?”

I ignored her subtle plea for me to stop. Something was bothering her and I was going to get to the bottom of it whether she wanted me to or not. “Monteray Jack, your addiction, our home, Splendid Valley…” She flinched at that one, I must have been getting closer. “And now you’ve had some of your memories removed…” Aha!

She looked away while on the verge of tears. “Just tell me, what does this has to do with me lying?”

Oh Littlepip. Always worrying about your friends and never about yourself. “I didn’t say that you were lying, only that I think you’re being dishonest. With yourself more than anypony.” She looked up at me with confusion written across her face, but I wasn’t going to let her try to sneak out of this. “Littlepip, giving up those memories is really bothering you isn’t it.”

It wasn’t a question. I stated it as a fact and as soon as the words left my mouth I could see the hesitation in her eyes. I swear that filly is so stubborn about letting other ponies help her…

I didn’t give her the chance to back out, instead wrapping her in a tight hug. “You don’t have to suffer on your own, we’re here to help you remember?” And just like that she opened up and the tears started rolling down her cheeks. Neither of us said anything else, instead just relishing in each other’s company.

Poor girl was carrying so much on her chest and she’s always trying to do it alone, so no one else has to bear the burden. An idea struck me, and I started to quietly hum some of the songs I know she loved to hear me sing. It probably would have seemed strange if anypony else saw us, but I didn’t care. Littlepip was the best pony I’d ever known, and I’d do anything to make sure she didn’t feel like she had to do all of this alone.

We must have sat like that for several minutes as she simply cried into my shoulder. Eventually all I could hear were a few quiet sniffles and the rain hitting the hallway windows. Sensing the moment was right I finally let her go and scooted a comfortable distance away. I waited patiently for her to start, if she wanted to tell me something she would do it at her own pace.

Finally after deciding the floor won their little staring contest, she decided to look at the desk next to her instead. “Thank you Velvet, I needed that.”

“Not at all dear, everypony has their limits, and that’s what friends are for.” I wanted to ask her about it, but I bit my lip and sat in silence. She would talk if she wanted to, and it wasn’t my right to ask her to tell me something she didn’t want to. “Now then remind me what it is we’re looking for? Some sort of spell?”

Clearly glad for the change in conversation Littlepip wiped her eyes one more time before standing and returning to the filing cabinet. “Well before the war the M.O.M. was looking for all kinds of new ways to interrogate ponies and zebras. Especially after many of the traitors and zebra infiltrators learned ways to mess with their own memories prior to being interrogated. Memory removal, planted memories, by the time the bombs fell searching through memories to prove a pony’s crime just wasn’t working anymore.”

She continued telling her story as she moved from the metal cabinet to the locked door at the back of the room. A dusty plaque on the door read Professor Star Dasher. “Just what I was looking for! Anyways a pony named Star Dasher came to the ministry with a new idea to get the truth out of a pony. Some kind of spell that separated a pony’s personalities… or something. The Twilight Society didn’t know much about it either. But apparently he got the attention of Twilight Sparkle and that’s enough to keep them interested.”

After a few frustrated kicks from an angry Littlepip and two failed attempts later, the tenacious lock finally gave way. With a cheer she pushed the door open and led the way inside.

The small office was dusty and dark but appeared to be completely untouched since Professor Dasher left for the last time. Aside from the desk and terminal that Littlepip was already busy with, there were several tables covered in lab equipment and books. In one corner of the room was a pile of metal boxes all with faded labels.

I began sorting them alphabetically for whenever Calamity catches up and loots everything that isn’t nailed down. Let’s see… Arcane Principals, Experiment One and Experiment Two, Homework Assignments, Lunch, whatever was in there definitely didn’t smell like something I wanted to see. Spell Books?

“Littlepip is this what we’re looking for?” She looked up from the terminal before trotting over to read the label.

“Well it sure sounds like it, let me see.” She levitated it to the floor in front of her and gently opened the lid-

Bang!

I had to shield my eyes from a blinding light and my ears were ringing from the noise. Was somebody attacking us? After blinking several times my eyes finally adjusted to the dark room again. Nothing seemed to be different except for the black stain on the floor where Littlepip had been sitting before. Instead there were two… three… four Littlepips?!

“Ow my head!” One of them groaned before being shoved off of the other one she was laying on.

“Your head? You landed on top of mine!” One by one they all clambered up to their hooves before taking note of the situation. They all stayed silent before one of them walked over and sat next to me. Leaning up she whispered in my ear.

“Okay so am I crazy or are there three exact twins of me sitting in the same room.”

I still couldn’t get my mouth to close so I gave her a nod instead. Looking back at the box she opened the label still read ‘Spell Books’, but the inside of the box was charred and empty. While I sat there and tried to make sense of the situation one of the Littlepips was busy at the terminal on the desk.

“Today I got back from the staff meeting only to find that some of the students had entered my office without permission. They didn’t make too big of a mess, but they did switch several of the labels around on my storage boxes. Luckily I found this out when I was looking for a homework assignment and instead found my spell books. Good thing they didn’t open any of the boxes, seeing as I have several of the ‘spell in a box’ experiments in here that could have made for an interesting parent teacher conference. I’ll have to start locking the door whenever I’m not in my classroom from now on, and just to be safe tomorrow I’ll start working on my experiments at home instead. Some of these experiments are quite volatile after all, and I wouldn’t want there to be any accidents. Sometimes I really miss the old Equestria when I could trust my students to have a little more common sense than to go messing around in an Arcane Chemistry Lab…”

“Well then.” One of the ‘Littlepips’ said flatly.

The one at the terminal jumped up on the desk and cleared her throat. “Alright settle down everypony we can fix this. He said the spell books were in the box labeled homework so one of you get in there and try to figure out what kind of spell this is. One of the Littlepips walked to a corner and grumbled the whole time as she levitated the box to her. “I’ll do it, but I won’t be happy about it.”

“Okay then… We also need somepony to watch our backs, this rain will probably send a bunch of creatures and raiders looking for shelter. Wait weren’t there four of us?”

No sooner had the question left her mouth we heard gunshots from farther down the hall. “Yeah take that you bloodsucking flying pieces of- ow! You’re gonna pay for that!”

We all rushed down the hall (minus grumpypip) to find one of the Littlepips shooting at three bloodwings with Little Macintosh in one of the classrooms. Two were already dead on the floor but a third was giving her trouble, using its larger size to pin her to the ground. She levitated Little Macintosh to the side of its head and unleashed three rounds into the monster, making it scream one last time before collapsing to the floor next to her.

“Hey! Stay with the group, nopony gets to wander off without my permission got it?”

“Aww but come on! There’s a whole world out there to blow up! Don’t you want to see what we can do in action? I mean we changed the wasteland when there was just one of us, and now there’s four! We could kill anyone we wanted! Not even RedEye can stop us now! We could take over the wasteland and make ponies do the right thing, and if they won’t then-“

She promptly fell to the floor after I hit her with as strong of an anesthetic spell I could manage. “That should keep her down for a while.”

Leaderpip looked at me gratefully as she levitated the unconscious Littlepip alongside her. “I guess that’s my more violent side huh? Not sure how I feel about that…”

“Don’t worry about it dear, as long as the rest of you keeps that side in check then I won’t ever think of you any differently. But what about you? You’ve been awfully quiet so far.” I asked as I turned to the fourth Littlepip that has yet to say anything.

She looked around the room at anything other than me. “Oh umm… I just don’t really have anything to say I guess…”

“Oh, my, Celestia. You’re her shy side! Oh you’re just like she was back in the stable, I could just pick you up and hug you for hours!” And I did just that, at least until Leaderpip cleared her throat and motioned to the door.

“Yes well let’s get going I don’t want to leave the other ‘me’ sitting in a room all alone.” I let go of adorablepip and trotted back into the hallway. After turning a corner I met Calamity almost nose to nose. “Oh thank the heavens Velvet I found Littlepip back there and she seemed right upset about something. You have any idea what it’s all about?”

Soon after the other two pips walked around the corner with the third in tow, and it looked like Calamity’s brain had stopped working. After a few false starts he decided to play a game of twenty questions. “Some kind of spell gone wrong?

“Ayep.” I answered.

“Now there’s a bunch of Littlepips running around?”

“Ayep.”

“They each have different personalities of Littlepip?

“Ayep.”

“You’re trying to keep these three out of trouble while the other Littlepip is figuring out how to fix this?”

“Ayep.”

“I don’t know what kind of payment she worked out with the Twilight Society but it ain’t worth this much trouble.”

“Anope.”

He chuckled and nuzzled my cheek. “Your impersonation is right on but you’re gonna need a lot more practice before you can sound like me. Ya’ll just go and sit it out in that office until you figure out how to fix this. I’ll stay and guard the door.”

“My hero…” I mocked and kissed him on the cheek before we walked back to the old classroom. Shypip stayed with Calamity at the door since she could help warn him of danger with her pipbuck. As we entered the classroom I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw ‘grumpypip’ laying upside-down with her back against the wall staring frustratingly at a book.

“This spell is stupid! There’s no way I can learn this!” She huffed and dropped the book unceremoniously on the floor beside her. Finally seeming to notice her odd choice in seating she laughed sheepishly before rocking over to sit right-side up.

“Well it can’t be too bad, let me see.” I tried to be optimistic as I opened the book to the page she had marked. It took me a whole five seconds before I gave up on trying to understand the complex spell. It was a spell book! Why is there so much math involved?

“Okay new plan. Why don’t we go back to Tenpony Tower and see if Lifebloom can help? He’s really good at learning new spells.”

Leaderpip frowned as she thought that over. “I don’t know, I really don’t want to go anywhere in that storm, much less at night while having to carry this one around.” She motioned to the sleeping form of her violent side in the corner.

“Do you have a better idea?” I hardly think waiting here all night would be any safer, and I for one would like to have this problem resolved as soon as possible.

“Let me look at that spell book, maybe I can figure something out.” I gave her a look that said more than a thousand words. Probably nopony else would know what it meant, but she knew and immediately frowned. “I promise I don’t even have any PTM’s…”

I sighed and sat down near the office door. “Okay I believe you.” That may have ruined the mood, but I just never can be too sure with that girl. I know it may seem horrible but I’m really just trying to help her. She doesn’t need those horrible things to be a wonderful pony, even if she sometimes thinks she does.

She grabbed the book and trotted into the office, sitting at the desk as she tried to figure out the complicated spell. I could hear Calamity and Shypip talking in quiet whispers out in the hall, but I didn’t want to eavesdrop. Which left me alone with grumpypip…

“So… You think she can figure out how to do the spell?”

She rolled her eyes. “She has the same brain I do, which makes her just as dumb with magic and just as stubborn.”

Well that wasn’t very optimistic. “So, a maybe then?”

“No. Meaning absolutely zero chance. But she’s gonna sit in there for nearly an hour to try and figure it out anyways because she doesn’t want to let everypony down for whatever reason.”

“Oh.” I mean what else could I say to that? I know I said I didn’t want to eavesdrop but if I sit here and talk with this depressing version of my friend for much longer I might start thinking the same way. I’m not nearly as sneaky as Littlepip or Calamity but I think I did a good job of moving next to the classroom door without them noticing me outside. I heard Calamity’s voice first.

“Sometimes I just don’t know what to say, you know? She’s the prettiest mare I’ve ever seen. And she’s kind, too kind sometimes. But that’s what really makes her different, from any other pony in the wasteland. But whenever I try to tell her stuff like that, my brain just quits on me.”

“Yeah I know what you mean. I have the same problem with Homage. It’s like, I want to tell her just how much I love her and how wonderful she is, but whenever I try I can’t find the right words to say it.”

“Sometimes I’m just scared I’ll say something wrong and she’ll get really hurt by it. I’m not very good at words like you are.” Oh Calamity you don’t have to think like that, I’m not just some fragile thing you have to worry about breaking…

I swear I could almost hear Littlepip roll her eyes. “Oh you have no idea, trust me I’m not very good at it either. Do you think Velvet likes you for your words, or because of who you are?” You tell him Littlepip!

“Well…”

“It doesn’t matter if you mess up, or say something wrong and hurt her feelings, because you love her and she loves you. That’s what love is right? Being able to look at another pony, and despite all the things they do wrong you still want to spend your whole life with them because that’s how much they mean to you. And trust me I know she thinks that about you, even if sometimes you seem a little too happy about killing the bad ponies.”

That was… surprisingly deep. Who knew our friend had spent so much time thinking about this kind of thing? Then again growing up in Stable 2 where ponies with her kind of interests were treated like outcasts, I suppose she probably had a lot of time to herself. Poor filly probably didn’t have a single friend growing up, and I doubt that alcoholic mother of hers helped any. Why do the ponies with the kindest hearts always have the hardest lives?

“Or maybe I’m just a romantic I don’t know. Homage is the only pony I’ve ever really been with so I’m not the best pony to be giving advice on this stuff.”

“Thanks Lilpip I was just being dumb.” I peeked through the cracked open door in time to see them hug. Aww, the big softie.

"Alright everypony new plan!" Leaderpip shouted behind me loud enough for them to hear out in the hallway. I nearly jumped and scrambled to get away from the door before they walked in.

"Okay so I can't figure out how to do the spell, so we're going to have to take it to Lifebloom. He should be able to fix this."

I really didn't want to go out in that storm but I guess we don't have much of a choice. "What about the Sky Bandit? Are we going to just leave it here?" I hope not, that wouldn't be fair to Calamity after all the work he's put into it.

Calamity frowned at that. "I don't want to leave her behind even for just a night unless we have to."

Leaderpip tapped her chin as she thought about it. "Can you pull it like a normal wagon until we're close enough for you to fly it to the roof?"

"It'll be mighty heavy but I think so. We'll have to take a longer route to get back though."

"That's fine as long as everypony get's back in one piece." She blinked and looked around at the many Littlepips in the room. "Relatively speaking."

"Let's just get this over with so we can go home and sleep in warm, dry beds."

^^^

We trudged silently through the Manehatten streets, the violent storm drowning out all other sounds but the beating your own heart. We all put our more valuable things in the Sky Bandit to keep them dry, but the heavy weight was quickly taking it's toll on poor Calamity. I wish we had Steelhooves or at least Xenith to help because I'm definitely no good at heavy lifting.

And no offense to Littlepip but aside from her magic I don't think that filly could pick up much more than a lunchbox.

Though I'd never admit it to anypony, I was walking a bit closer to Calamity than usual. I still wasn't used to idea of rain, much less a storm this bad. I tried to hide how scared I got every time I heard thunder but Calamity had to have noticed. Of course he didn't say anything about it, sometimes he's really sweet like that.

"Hey Lilpip mind if I take a rest for a minute? This thing wasn't made to be pulled so far by one pony." He said between heavy breaths. I imagine half of the water soaking him was probably sweat.

I tried to keep a barrier up above us as long as I could to keep us dry. But we'd been out in this rain for hours already and our progress noticeably slowed after I had to rest to keep from burning out.

"Of course not rest as long as you need. Will you two watch our backs while we wait?" She asked the two other Littlepips beside her.

Grumpypip of course had something to say. "Why not I might as well do all the work around here. Come on you sissy we can get out of the rain over there in that wagon."

Shypip followed without a word as the rest of us climbed into the Sky Bandit. It was still fairly wet but it was much better than being outside.

"Hey Littlepip I was wondering, do you think you could use your magic to get all the water out of the Sky Bandit?"

She blinked a few times and shrugged. "No idea I honestly never even thought of that." Sure enough her horn glowed and after a few moments all the water in our wagon was lifted and thrown outside. There was still some rain coming in through the windows, but it was better than nothing.

We waited in silence as Calamity took a brief nap. I thought about going back into my memory orb to see Fluttershy again, it would certainly help take my mind off this dreadful storm. But unlike Littlepip I'm not going to do something so reckless when we could get swarmed by raiders at any moment.

The sound of Little Macintosh broke our silence and stirred Calamity awake. I just had to say something didn't I?

Two more shots rang out before the fire was returned by several more rapid gunshots. We all rushed from the Sky Bandit over to the wagon where the others were hiding. Grumpypip was reloading Little Macintosh while Shypip was hiding behind a pile of bricks.

"Seven targets, raiders for sure. I got one but they know where we are and one of them looked like he was carrying something big."

We all took cover behind whatever we could find as more automatic gunfire sprayed across the street. The raiders were mostly firing blind through the rain and dark night, but with that many bullets it wouldn't be hard to get a lucky shot.

Calamity looked over our pile of rubble long enough to take a shot and even through the rain the sound of a screaming pony told us that he hit. "What do you mean something big?"

I barely saw the flash through the rain in time to put up a barrier, but it didn't have time to manifest completely before the missile crashed into it. The explosion lit up the night sky and sent us all tumbling away from our respective hiding spots. I was still trying to recover when Calamity sprung back to us hooves and fired two shots at where the rocket had come from, eliciting a surprised shout as the raider was felled.

Dozens more shots rang out from the raiders and from Little Macintosh as Littlepip returned their fire. The firefight continued.

I heard Shypip scream behind me and turned to see a raider charging her with a baseball bat filled with nails. My head ached from the effort but I managed to put up a small barrier between them just long enough for Grumpypip to fire three rounds into the raider. Although she somehow managed to miss two more... I guess Littlepip's violent side didn't share her combat experience with the others.

Well that was it from me, if I use any more magic I'll risk serious burnout and I really don't want to deal with that right now.

While Calamity and Leaderpip finished off the remaining raiders I stayed with the others in the Sky Bandit and treated the many cuts and scrapes caused by the missile. I guess when Violent Pip was talking about taking over the world she wasn't aware that none of the other Littlepips shared her enthusiasm for fighting. I've barely even fired guns before and I bet I'm a better aim then they are.

After a few minutes Calamity and Leaderpip came back to the Sky Bandit loaded with the more valuable loot from the raiders. They rushed to climb in as the storm outside picked up.

"Well I have good news and bad news." Calamity began as he shook himself off and sent water flying all over the wagon. Noticably fluffier, he looked around and notice our wet, less than happy faces. "Sorry. Anyways the good news is that one of those raiders was hauling around a bunch of spark batteries so we have plenty extras for the Sky Bandit."

"And the bad news?" I deadpaned. I had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"Bad news is we're probably gonna have to go through the front door when we get back to Tenpony. The wind get's worse when you get above the street level. I don't think I could fly in a straight line by myself up there, much less while pulling a big sky wagon like this."

We sat in silence as all the implications of that sank in. I shook my head and strapped my medical boxes back on. "I'll do the talking when we get there. Celestia knows it will be hard enough without you two, I mean five, making things worse."

Grumpypip scowled in the corner. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Toaster Repairpony? Remember?"

"Right, and your idea of diplomacy with the Hellhounds in Splendid Valley would have worked perfectly."

Okay that was just uncalled for. "Not like the plan you two came up with went without a problem."

Calamity looked hurt as he rustled his feathers. "Okay I'll admit that wasn't the best idea but it was heaps better than trying to talk to those monsters."

"How do you know? Have you ever tried talking to them instead of just shooting? Has anypony ever even thought that just maybe they're like us? Just trying to survive in this ugly world?"

"Velvet they're monsters! They ain't never done nothing except hurt ponies that didn't deserve it. To me they ain't no better than raiders."

"Then the world will never get any better!" I shouted far louder than I intended. Perhaps I was getting too worked up but this is exactly the reason why I hated the Wasteland so much. "If all ponies ever do is kill everything they think is bad, then one day there won't be any ponies or anything else left to kill."

With that I retreated to the back of the wagon. I felt more like crying than anything. Why can't everyone just get along for once? I'm tired of all this hatred and bigotry for no reason.

I could hear the others talking in whispers but I didn't want to hear what they had to say, and I'm sure they wouldn't want to hear what I would say if they bothered me about it anymore. I know what I said earlier but I needed to get away from all of this, even for just a few minutes. I reached into my boxes and pulled out the Fluttershy Orb.

I needed to see her again, to take solace in her kindness before I start losing hope again. And with a touch of my horn all the horrible things around me faded away and were replaced by something too good for this world.

^ ^ ^

When I awoke I was still laying alone on the bench at the back of the Sky Bandit. The Littlepips were at the front talking with a group of strangers while Calamity laid sprawled out on one of the benches asleep. Taking a moment to make sure I didn’t look completely horrid, I slowly made my way back to the group illuminated by a lantern.

“...an interesting story, mind if I write about it? I like to write short tales about the adventures of the wastelanders I meet. You’d be surprised, I have all kinds of crazy stories I've written about in here." He laughed and gestured to a thick, leather book he was holding close. He had a reddish- brown coat and a greying black mane.

Beside him sat a large earth pony buck with a brown coat and similar black mane, and on the farthest side from me sat... a zebra! She wore a worn leather cloak full of pockets, and her long mane fell over her face in a way strikingly similar to Fluttershy's.

I politely cleared my throat and sat down a noticeable distance from Grumpypip. "Apologies but I don't believe we've met. I'm Velvet Remedy, and who might you be?"

The old stallion smiled as if remembering something. "Well according to the rumors there's quite a few things I might be, but most ponies just call me Ol' Red. Scavenger and story-teller extraordinaire." Ol' Red? Why does that name sound familiar?

"This here's my grandson Bear and his lovely bride-to-be, as well as chemist nonpareil, Peponi."

The (zebra!) mare blushed and tried to hide behind her mane. "Please Mr. Red there is no need for such flattery..."

"Ah but you have it all wrong my dear," began Bear. "Flattery is vain and without substance. This my dear is called praise, and it's well deserved."

"Beg your pardon," I interjected. "But are you all from Tenpony Tower? You seem like you've all gotten proper educations. If I hadn't grown up in a Stable I doubt I would have a clue what you're talking about."

Red laughed and glanced at Peponi. "Certainly not, but I guess that's the difference between me an the ol' DJ. No way I'd ever step hoof in some place that refuses to do business with such kind souls just because they have stripes or they're a bit older than the rest of us.

He has a good point there. I mean that's the only reason Xenith isn't with us, so she could spend her time shopping before the dye wears off. Maybe we can have a talk with the Twilight Society about this, it seems like they run the whole tower from behind the scenes after all.

"No we're all from way out west, usually near Old Appleloosa where there's still plenty to scavenge if you know where to look."

Aha! That's why I recognized his name, from the slavers. "Oh you’rethe pony from the radio over there? Tales of the Wastes I believe? I heard some slavers talking about you while I was there." How long had that been, months? Weeks? Goddesses everything has just gone by so fast since I left the Stable.

Red smiled and tapped his grandson on the shoulder. "See I told you they listen to me, pay up sonny." Bear passed a few caps to the expectant radio pony. "Yep that's me, my broadcaster ain't nearly as big as the DJ's but I'm usually home to tell a story or two at noon to whoever can hear me."

Calamity mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over to face us. He was cuddling his dusty hat with a smile. Some ponies might think it's strange that I sometimes lay awake at night just to watch him breathe. Back in the Stable I didn't think about romance very often, it all seemed rather silly to me. But out here while we're putting our lives at risk every day to help ponies we've never even met, just seeing him breathe at the end of the day is more of a relief than I can explain.

"Ah yes, nothing's quite as inspiring as young love."

My face felt warm as I turned back to Red. "I appreciate the compliment but I can assure you there's nothing young about it." I replied with a coy smile.

"But on the contrary my dear. There's nothing wrong with aging in your head, but always stay young in your heart. The moment you let that inner-childlike innocence fade away, is the moment this old world won."

^ ^ ^

We all sat around the relative warmth of each other for nearly an hour before the rain lightened up outside. At some point during the story exchanges, Leaderpip and Grumpypip both fell asleep. After finishing a tale about some crazy ghost filly who's changing a whole region of the wasteland while looking for her mom, Ol' Red stood up and stretched.

"Well It's about time we head out. If we leave now I might just get back in time for my afternoon broadcast tomorrow. It's been a pleasure, but I'm afraid we must be on our way." He held up my forehoof and gave it a gentlecolt's kiss before doing the same to Shypip. This guy must have been quite the mare's buck back in the day.

"Come along you two let's hit the road before my knees start locking up. And don't even get me started on my back pains after sitting down for so long..."

We sat and stared out into the misting rain as the odd trio left. Shypip still wore her blush as she turned to me.

"Did he just..."

"I wonder what Homage might think about this..."

She blushed even more red as she took a sudden interest in the floor.

"About what now?" Calamity asked as he stood up and stretched. He let out a tired yawn as he trotted over to join us.

"Nothing." I winked to Shypip. "And Calamity..." I said with a quiet, almost pained whisper. "I'm sorry about... earlier. I think we should talk later." He nodded and gave his wings a few experimental flaps.

"If it doesn't get any worse I might just be able to fly us up to the roof. Think you can help me if I need it?"

His question was interrupted as we heard a cacophony of gunshots outside. "More raiders?" I asked as the noise woke the other two Littlepips up.

"I told you there were two more. You... I mean other me, stay here and watch over the Sky Bandit." Not to mention the other unconscious Littlepip still in the back of the wagon.

With that we all charged into the dark Manehatten street following the sound of gunfire. "I have three friendly markers and two red bars straight ahead!" Leaderpip called out over the sound of our hoofsteps.

Calamity took to the air ahead of us and the familiar sound of his battle saddle signaled the death of one of the raiders. When we reached the source of the fight Leaderpip shot off far more rounds than normally necessary from her zebra rifle. The last raider collapsed as he burned to death, rolling around in pain. It was a sight I would never approve of, not even if they were raiders. It was a strain but I pushed myself to channel an anesthetic spell in my horn. Nopony deserved to die like that.

^ ^ ^

"Ya'll sure do know how to make an entrance. I reckon I owe you my thanks for saving our tails back there." Ol' Red was talking with Calamity while I saw to his grandson's injured leg. Luckily it was a very minor wound, a few healing bandages and he'll be fine by tomorrow.

"It's just the right thing to do. I reckon any decent pony would have done the same thing."

"If only the wasteland were full of more 'decent' ponies we wouldn't be in this mess." Red sighed and watched Peponi, a worried expression on her face as she looked through her bags.

I smiled and levitated two healing potions from my medical boxes, placing them gently at her hooves. "Here take these for your trip. Don't worry we have plenty." Calamity shot me a knowing look. Okay maybe we didn't have as much as I would have liked, but still these ponies might not get home without them.

A loud bang rang out from the direction of the Sky Bandit, followed by the familiar sound of several shots being fired from Littlepip's sniper rifle.

“Might be more raiders, y’all go on we’ll take care of them.” Calamity said over his shoulder as he took off in the direction of the shots while the rest of us fought to catch up to our pegasus friend. Calamity got there first, but I didn’t hear him shoot. When we caught up I saw him holding back raiderpip, a bloody pipe held in her levitation as she tried to push past Calamity to reach the bloody body on the ground.

Several large holes went through his chest but even after he died she kept beating him with the pipe she found from somewhere.

“Whoa Lil’pip calm down he’s dead already!”

“He shot her! That fucker shot her in the back!”

Shot who… Oh no. I rushed passed them and into the sky bandit. Shypip was laying in a rapidly growing pool of blood, a large hole in her back from the rifle on the floor next to her. That bullet went through a lung...

"Hang in there Littlepip I'm here now." She didn't answer, and she was barely even breathing. I took one of our last magic potions and poured it over the wound. I used my magic to stop the bleeding before wrapping her in bandages. My head cried out in pain as I taxed my magic to it's limit, healing her lung as best as I could.

The other Littlepips joined me in the Sky Bandit while Calamity hitched on to it in front. Leaderpip said nothing as she walked to the back and sat down. Raiderpip was the only one who sat down next to me. "How is she? Or... me... or... you know what I mean."

Wow, very eloquent. "She'll be fine but we need to get back to Tenpony soon. If the cold rain starts up again she'll be in trouble."

“Don’t ya’ll worry I’ll get us back to Tenpony as fast as I can. Better hold on to something though.” Calamity soon had us in the air, and I could already make out the silhouette of the tower as we flew higher than most of the other buildings. But his warning wasn’t a joke, the whole wagon was shaking violently and it was only with raiderpip’s help that I kept her shy personality from getting any more hurt.

Our ride ended abruptly as Calamity landed the sky bandit on a familiar rooftop. The rough landing nearly sent us all to the floor, and an apologetic pegasus spoke up from outside.

“Sorry everypony the spark batteries started dying on me.” He unhitched himself from the wagon and chuckled nervously. I could tell he was trying to hide how tired he was, and I wondered just how close to plummeting to our deaths we really were.

“Don’t fret it Calamity I’m sure you did the best you could. Littlepip could you help me carry her?” They all three looked up at my question and I had to resist a face hoof.

Grumpypip rolled her eyes and stood up first. “Fine let’s get the dead weight down to Doc Helpinghoof so we can get this problem fixed.” With a sigh she levitated shypip and floated her out of the sky bandit with her. I wanted to scream in frustration as she let the unconscious pony hit her head on the way out. “Oops.”

Okay so not grumpypip, bitchypip was more accurate. Her violent side followed and I was next, with leaderpip bringing up the rear. She hasn’t said a word since we parted ways with Red and I suspected something had to be bothering her. Calamity was already waiting by the door to Tenpony Tower, a very disgruntled looking earth pony standing next to him.

I wore a broad smile with practiced ease as I approached. “Xenith! How did your shopping go?”

She took a step forward and prodded my chest with a hoof. “Do not act so casual, why did you not tell me you were going somewhere?”

Calamity and the many pips looked at me with wide eyes. Calamity was as usual the first to speak, “You didn’t tell her?”

I tossed my mane and walked through the door past them. “No, I didn’t. Xenith deserves to spend more time shopping before we leave and if she went with us it could have messed up her coat dye.”

I could just feel Calamity roll his eyes, but Xenith didn’t press it further. “So young one what happened to you?”

I turned in time to see that she asked bitchypip.“Some idiot left their experimental spells laying around their office and now I’m stuck carrying around dead weight, does that answer your question?”

Certainly not her most endearing personality. Xenith blinked before turning to me for answers. I had none to give her except a shake of my head. They all followed me inside, finally getting relief from the still sprinkling sky and chilling winds. Homage walked out of the athenaeum and greeted us as we entered the foyer. She was wearing a pretty blue dress that complimented her hair well, but the look on her face was priceless. Her surprise was to be expected, her first words however were not.

“I’m not sure I can come up with enough time…” Calamity looked confused, but I shared a knowing look with Xenith before we laughed. After all we’d been through it was a wave of relief to be back together with everypony. Well not quite. We still had a Steel Ranger to see before we take our next trip, but I’m sure his hooves will be full for a long time.

^ ^ ^

“Ah’m sure glad everything went alright. Things can get messed up fast when you’re dealing with old magic.” I nodded as I crawled into bed next to the pegasus. His wing wrapped around me and the feathers tickled at my coat. “Though I’m not sure how that unicorn learned how to fix it so fast.”

“I must admit it’s quite impressive how quickly Lifeblood can learn new spells. Maybe that’s his special talent?” All talk of spells was stopped when he pulled me closer and nuzzled my cheek. “I’m glad you’re safe. I worry about you, evening we go out on another adventure I always worry that you won’t come back with us. That I won’t be able to save you if you get hurt…”

He gently put a hoof over my mouth to hush me. Despite the sincerity in the action I had to fight my will to recoil from his dirty hoof. Even after a shower… “Now you stop that silly talk this instant. Ain’t no way I’m gonna die and leave you alright? And hell if you can’t save me from getting hurt than I reckon’ nopony in the wasteland could.”

I was nearly in tears as I leaned in and kissed him. Calamity has to be crazy. He tells Littlepip that he always worries about saying the wrong thing, and yet here he is saying everything I always wanted to hear somepony tell me. He may be a crazy pony, but he’s my crazy pony. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.