So... Kids Happened

by Jsyrin

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 8346

Aaron Heibai, the bane of most Displaced, adopts kids. What could go wrong?

Let's take a look at the facts:

1) Aaron Heibai is a bored little God of Cheating the System.
2) Jupiter loves kids.
3) Juno pretends he hates kids.
4) Aaron will take any possible excuse he can to mess with Juno.

With all this in mind… is it really so much of a surprise that he'd adopt an endless little army of hellspawn?

And, unfortunately yes, that does include literal hellspawn.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-18 03:05:20 UTC

In Which Adoption Happens

It was another normal day in Equestria.

That meant Rarity fainting on her couch, the Cutie Mark Crusaders making a mess/getting injured, and something weird was going to happen.

In this case, the weird thing was a shadow sitting on top of a house with no one paying one bit of attention to it. And oddly enough, it looked bored.

Knowing who that shadow was, many ponies and humans and others would be screaming in fear at this point.

“Oi! Fuck off! I’m not that bad!” Aaron exclaimed, shaking his fist angrily at the camera, “.... Okay, maybe I am but screaming in fear is a little much!”

None of the ponies really noticed the angry shadow since he had been hanging around for a week thus far.

He sighed and looked around, “God it’s boring here.”

“.... I’mma go somewhere else!”

And with a brief burst of shadows, Aaron disappeared from that one Universe.

Thank goodness for them.

“OI! FUCK OFF!” The very angry shadow being yelled at the very nice narrator.

He entered that one universe that some readers seemed to dislike for odd reasons, AKA the Past Sins universe.

“So that’s what this place is,” Aaron muttered, looking at the above text.

The area he showed up at was at Twilight’s library. Of course, at the moment, she was reading a story to little Nyx. It was a rather heartwarming moment.

“Aww, how cute…” Aaron whispered, invisibly hovering through the scene. “Hmmm… this could be the solution to all my current problems… And cause a few new ones…. Jupiter would be happy, though.”

He paused, “.... Raising children is difficult, though… but it’s apparently really rewarding? I mean, there’s also teenage angst… but then again, kids are kinda cute…. but…. diapers…. Hmmm…..”

He went back and forth a few times on this, idly searching through his extensive Knowledge of 99.9% of All Things (™) while he paced across Twilight’s ceiling.

“Ah screw it, let’s go adopt a kid!” And with another subtle flickering of shadow, Aaron disappeared again, launching himself out of the Displaced section of the Void and out into the worlds beyond.

Aaron of course landed in a universe full of humans, though he did appear in the middle of their version of New York.

Because everything happens in New York. It also had what Aaron wanted. An orphanage.

“Hmmm…” Aaron tapped his chin, “If I were to adopt a child from an orphanage… he or she’d have to be sorta cool. Maybe if they had powers? Where the fuck am I going to find… oh right. Functionally omniscient. Duuuhhhhhhhh…”

That’s when he would feel a pull on his mind. It was slight but there. Like a string of floss pulling.

“Well that’s a little blatantly obvious, but I’ll take it!” Aaron grinned and disappeared in a poof of shadows, an ominous chuckling racing through the streets of New York straight towards Aaron’s newest victim target friend.

Izack was five years old with shockingly white hair and eyes that started off pink but would occasionally fade to yellow for a short while before fading back to pink.

Right now though, he was sitting at the window of one of the foster homes, looking out and watching one of the kids getting what he always wanted. A Nintendo DS family.

He already knew the reason why no one adopted him. It was because he was so freaky, from his hair to his eyes to even his power.

Yes, a power that even family looking for those kinds of kids didn’t want or didn’t adopt him because his power was either too unstable or too uncontrollable.

They never told him who kind of power he had, just that he should never try to use it.

He thought that was stupid. Why tell him not to use powers if he didn’t know what they were?

Izack put his forehead against a pane of glass, feeling the chill run into his skin as he thought, “Why can’t I just have a dad or mom?”

And with that, his powers activated, latching onto the best dad for him. It was strange that it latched onto Aaron.

“Yes yes, we all know what happens,” Aaron muttered, blazing into the orphanage with a burst of light and loud music, shadow form deployed in full.

Izack himself turned around in confusion, covering his ears from the loud music

“GREETINGS MORTALS!” He boomed, looking around at the shocked and befuddled orphanage workers. He payed them no heed and continued forward, stopping in front of Izack.

Izack stared up at the shadowy creature AKA Aaron in two parts fear, one part awe, and one part confusion.

“Yo, kid. Wanna get outta this place?” Aaron asked, scooping Izack onto his shoulders with barely a care in the world.

“Um,” Izack was now rather flustered. “Yes?”

Aaron nodded, “Great! Izack, my name is Aaron Heibai. I am your new father.”

A few of the workers looked like they wanted to protest, but a single look from Aaron was enough to quell their arguments.

“So, as a celebration, I’m going to buy you whatever you want.” Aaron wandered out of the doors of the orphanage, strolling through the streets of New York and more or less ignoring every strange look he got.

Izack looked at the ground. “Really? Anything?”

“Anything and everything, kid,” Aaron chuckled, “Go nuts.” He set Izack down and patted his back.

The white haired boy looked around before running into a toy store. He had never been in one but soon he was hooked, hugging a giant stuffed panda.

Aaron blinked, “That is a big stuffed panda…. I have actually never seen a stuffed panda quite that big before. Good choice, kiddo.”

The boy kept hugging it until is was obvious the boy fell asleep on it. It seemed that it was one comfy panda.

“Oh that is just adorable….” Aaron whispered, picking Izack up and whisking him and the panda away in a poof of shadows.

“Juno~ Jupiter~ I’m hoooooome~!” Aaron called quietly, still managing to carry his voice to Juno and Jupiter… and dump them out of thin air and onto their butts in front of him.

“Owie!” Jupiter mumbled, rubbing her bum.

“DAMMIT AARON!” Juno roared, covered in slime and also on fire.

Aaron chuckled, “Ha, couldn’t avoid the tentacles could you?”

“That’s because you purposely let half of them out of their jars as soon as I passed!” Juno growled, sorely wishing he could throttle his boss.

Aaron shook his head, “Well of course I did. The tapes of those incidents sell remarkably well and go towards furthering your pay check.” He patted Jupiter down, brushing her off and giving her a quick hug and a kiss. “Honey, guess what I got~”

Jupiter looked over to the entrance of the shop and gasped, “GIANT PANDA!”

“Well, other than that. Oh hey, he slipped down a little. Whoops.” Aaron quickly retrieved Izack, who mumbled slightly in his sleep about games and chocolate.

“Eh…?” Jupiter mumbled in confusion, tilting her head adorably, “A… little boy…?”

Aaron nodded, “Yup! I was feeling kinda bored, so I decided, hey, why not try to raise a kid with the help of my darling Jupiter? I wasn’t gonna force a pregnancy on you without asking, so… adoption~!”

Jupiter coughed and mumbled something under her breath before turning back to Aaron and engulfing him in a tight hug.

Juno, meanwhile, dropped his face into his hands and mumbled, “Oh gods that child is going to be so messed up…. Jupiter isn’t even twenty one yet…”

Izack started to wake up from his nap, not feeling the panda he was hugging. “Mah?” He drowsily looked at the two cat people, the obvious girl hugging his adoptive dad and the guy one just standing in despair.

Aaron blinked and grabbed Izack into his arms, proclaiming, “Izack! Welcome to your new home! And Jupiter here is your new mother! Don’t mind uncle Juno, though. He’s just being silly.”

Juno whispered an “I hate you so much” under his breath and shook the slime off of him, trudging away and burning the rest of it off.

“He-he can make fire?” Izack asked, staring at his retreating Uncle before looking around at his surroundings.

“Yup, and your dear mother is goddess of the sky~” Aaron ruffled Jupiter’s hair, hugging both her and Izack close, heedless of her embarrassment.

“Aaron! Don’t do that!” She whined, ears twitching furiously and adorably.

Izack smiled before hugging his new parents as tightly as he could.

Two weeks later….

“GAH! Where did you come from!?” Juno cried, barely able to cover himself up and dive back out of the bathroom, completely mortified at the sight of Izack and Jupiter in the bath.

“....” Jupiter blushed bright crimson, dunking her face in the water and burbling miserably.

Izack just looked confused. “What’s wrong, Uncle Juno?” The white haired boy asked, genuinely concerned about him. It looked like he might have been sick plus he had heard a loud thump when he hit the ground.

“Nothing!” Juno called back through the door, words muffled by the fact that his face was still planted in the floor.

“I’m pretty sure it’s nothing serious,” Aaron muttered offhandedly, using his shadows to work shampoo into Izack’s and Jupiter’s hair.

Jupiter’s ears twitched at the sensation, causing her to draw her face out of the water and giggle cutely. “Hey~! No fair!”

“God of Cheating, my love. Nothing is ever fair.” Still, Aaron moved closer and let Jupiter undo his still ludicrously long braid to wash it.

Izack just went back to playing with a pink rubber ducky. “Rubber Ducky~”

Outside, Juno dragged himself down the corridor and into the adjacent bathroom, still blushing brightly and shuddering in horror at the sight of Aaron naked in the same room as his naked sister.

“Never gonna unsee that…”

2 years later…

Izack was sitting on his bed, a modest little thing with sheets covered in random pokemon. What he was doing though was working on some math homework.

He looked up. “Daaaad, when can I come out to play?”

Aaron popped out of the ceiling, “Well, normally I’d say come out anyway, but still, you gotta learn time management, and what better way to learn that than to do homework? Sorry kiddo, just finish your homework first.”

“But it’s all in Norwegian!” Izack complained, though he was fibbing. He just found the work really boring.

“.... Yeah, but aren’t you more fluent in Norwegian than most Norwegians?” Aaron asked. “Besides, it’s only advanced differential equations. You learned this stuff weeks ago!”

Izack slightly cursed himself, realizing he had dug himself into a metaphorical hole. “Yeah…” He looked to the ground, feeling bad for lying to his dad.

“Ah, chin up, kid. Little lies like that are nothing. The only problem with lying is you need to remember what’s true first, otherwise you tangle yourself up in a web of lies.” Aaron popped out of Izack’s bed and leaned over his shoulders, Izack slumping slightly.

The white haired boy then fell off the bed onto his pile of stuffed toys. “Bleh.”

“Now get to work or you’ll never get to play.”

Two months later…

“Who’s that, Uncle Juno?” Izack asked from Juno’s shoulders, pointing to a certain purple pony.

Juno looked at said pony and coughed, turning away with a hint of a scowl, “That’s Twilight Sparkle, kid. She’s a…. well, she’s kinda crazy. Not like your father or mother, but still crazy.”

Izack tilted his head slightly. “Why is she crazy?”

“That’s… something that your father could tell you better than I could,” Juno muttered, quite obviously uncomfortable with explaining such concepts to a child.

“Okay.” Izack hummed, planning on asking his father later. “Can we go get ice cream?”

Juno snorted, “You just had lunch and now you want ice cream?”

“Well yeah, doesn’t dessert always come between Dinner and Lunch and between Lunch and Breakfast? That’s what dad said.” Izack responded with a smile.

“..... Damn you Aaron,” Juno whispered under his breath. “Okay, okay, fine. What flavor do you want?”

“Octopus!” Izack threw his hands in the air. “I want lots of octopus ice cream!”

Juno dropped his face into his hands and muttered, “Dammit Jupiter…”

Six Years later…

Izack Heibai yelped as he tripped out of a portal, falling into four tan hooves. The new pony looked back into the portal to his father. “Dad, why am I pony?”

Aaron stepped out of the portal, walking surely on his own gray hooves, “Because you stand out less like this. As an earth pony in Ponyville, you’re basically nothing more than a background character- nobody will notice you unless you do something really noticeable, like having an incredibly important shop.”

Izack looked worried, glancing back at his cart. “So, I have to keep my store afloat without making it noticeable?”

“Well, unless you want to be a noticeable person.” Aaron shrugged and teleported on top of the cart, “I mean, I always go for the noticeably unnoticeable shop. Y’know, the one where it’s never in the same location but always becomes famous.”

“So, a traveling shop that makes it so everyone-everypony rushes over when I enter town to spend their money without thinking long term?” Izack put a hoof to his chin.

“That’s what Flim and Flam did, son,” Aaron nodded and patted Izack’s head. “So I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Izack nodded before hitching the cart to the barrel of his new pony body. “Yeah. As long as I act like you, everything will work out,” He saluted to Aaron. “See you in a couple years dad. Love you.”

Then Izack started trotting towards Ponyville, the cart rolling behind him.

“Oh they grow up so fast…” Aaron whispered, wiping a tear from his eye. “Seems like just yesterday when I first picked him up from that orphanage…. which, actually it was, when considering how long it took for this chapter to complete itself.”

Aaron got hit with a newspaper.

“Ow! Hey!” Aaron rubbed his head and looked down at the paper, “.... Local Mare Ruins Everything…? Hey…. hmmm…. Well, I guess Izack would enjoy having a little sister…”

Eleven year old Sara sat alone in the ruins of a town, the smell of death and rotting wafting around her. She was looking at a rat, which had many visible tumors on it and patches of purple skin.

“I hate them.” She muttered, thinking back to all the people who avoided her or beat her and occasionally shot at her. The girl already knew what her powers were and why everyone hated her which was why she always wanted to be alone.

She could make people sick and die.

It happened to her parents and anyone who touched her.

She was just a monster, sitting there waiting for her execution.

Sara closed her eyes, hearing the army nearby getting ready to launch missiles to kill her since she always had a fog of death around her.

“Hate who?” A voice asked, a calm and soothing presence filling the air and negating the fog.

Sara’s eyes snapped open as she jumped a little. She looked over to see a shadowy figure on the corner. It was an impossibility to her. Nothing could get rid of the fog or live in it. “How are you still alive?”

“Oh you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Nice fog you got there, kid.” Aaron smiled and dispelled his shadow, dropping into human form and sitting down behind Sara.

Sara scooted away from Aaron some, still nervous about the shadow turned man. “I hate it.”

Aaron blinked and looked at the ruined town, “Mmm, I can see why. But, you seem like a nice enough kid. Though, I guess nice doesn’t really count when you have a death fog, eh?”

“I’m a monster.”

“No you’re not. You didn’t ask for this power, did you? No, you didn’t. I can tell. It’s not that you’re a monster…. it’s that you just don’t have the control.” Aaron patted Sara’s head soothingly, though she still flinched at the contact, “Tell ya what, I already got a son, but hey, I’m immortal and almost omnipotent, so ya wanna come with me and learn how to control your power?”

She looked to the ground, not believing this. “T-this is a dream, isn’t it?”

“Nope!” Aaron denied cheerfully, scooping Sara into his arms and onto his shoulders. “If it were a dream, well, you wouldn’t be able to feel…. this!” He playfully pinched her leg, just enough to make her yelp in surprise.

She started shaking after that. “S-so, why me?”

“Because you needed it,” Aaron nodded solemnly. “Well, that and I was in the area. Besides, you’re adorable and Jupiter loves adorable little kids like you.”

Sara stayed quiet, deciding to just go along with it. The worst that could happen is that she would die.

“Oi oi, none of those thoughts, kiddo. You’re not going to die if I have anything to say about it,” Aaron poked Sara’s leg admonishingly, trying to get her to smile.

“You can read my mind?”

“Of course I can, Sara. I’m pretty much omnipotent.” Aaron smiled at Sara and walked along, casually fixing the town as he went. “I mean, well, there are limits, but not many.”

Sara watched in awe as the town started coming back to life.

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Aaron asked, even going so far as to resurrect those that had died from Sara’s abilities. Piece by piece, the town restored itself, as if nothing had ever happened to it. “Imagine, you could be one of these people, y’know? Walking along the street with not a single care in the world. Because you’d be in control, yeah? What do you say, Sara? Want me to adopt you?”

She couldn’t nod yes fast enough.

“Wonderful!”

Meanwhile, with Izack…

Izack had just entered Ponyville, looked around at the various ponies to pretend like he was in awe. In actuality, Uncle Juno had brought him to an alternate version of the same town some years ago.

However, he was stopped by the usual pony that greets the newcomers.

“Hey there!” Pinkie pronked up to Izack, spraying confetti everywhere as she landed in front of him, “I haven’t seen you around town before! Are you new? Where are you from? Do you like parties? What’s your name? Ooh ooh! Is that a cart you have with you? Are you gonna be selling things here? What do you sell? What are your prices like? Do you like cake? What’s your favorite color?-”

The barrage of questions continued on and on for the better part of five minutes, Pinkie apparently never stopping for breath.

Izack himself was a little caught off guard by the pink pony but he listened carefully and remembered each question.

“I am new, I came from a place far far away, I like parties, my name is Izack Heibai, it is a cart with the nice hats I’m going to sell and yes, the prices are fair, I like tomato cake,-” He went on to answer all her questions.

“Heibai is a funny name,” Pinkie giggled, “I mean, you’re not black or white, so what’s up with that?”

“Well, by adoptive dad is monochrome, but I didn’t inherit his coat color, just the mane color.” Izack lightly chucked.

“Oooohhhhhh,” Pinkie smiled at Izack, “Well I have to go now! Bye~!”

“See you later.” Izack waved, to the retreating pink pony, knowing she was going to go get a party for him together. He shook has head and went back to walking, the ponies turning their head when they saw a large stuffed panda toy sitting on the back of the cart.

Life and Stuff and More Stuff

In Ponyville…

Izack sat on his haunches as he finished painting the name of his shop on the side of his cart.

‘Heibai’s Humble Hats’

He spat out the paintbrush into a can of green paint and glanced at the time and nodding. “She should be here soon.”

“She who?” Pinkie asked, popping up behind Izack’s shoulder suddenly. She giggled and looked at the cart’s sign, “Ooh! Rarity would love to shop here! She loves getting new hats!”

Izack smiled at her. “I’m sure she’ll love my hats then.”

“Yupperoonie! Oh hey, here she comes now!” Pinkie pointed down the road at said fashionista, who was currently out grocery shopping.

He looked over and waved his hoof. “Hello, Miss Rarity!”

Rarity looked over in surprise, her mane dramatically flipping out of her face from just the motion of turning her head. “Moi?” she asked, fluttering her eyelids. “Ah, hello there Pinkie! Is this someone new?”

“Yes. I am Izack Heibai. I’m staying here for a while before I move on.” He lifted part of the tarp covering his Nice Hats.

Rarity gasped, “Those hats! Why they’re simply… marvelous! I must buy some!” She immediately began trying on hats, all but shoving Pinkie and Izack out of the way in her rush.

“Hehe, that’s Rarity for you!” Pinkie giggled.

Izack shook his head and walked over to help her try on the different hats, even showing her the hat that Hecate from Shakugan no Shana wore. “I will have even more available once I get popular enough.”

“Oh my word, this is fantastic~!” Rarity cried, still trying on hat after hat after hat after hat after…

Erm, let’s move on, shall we?

With Sara in Aaron’s shop

“So, Sara….” Aaron murmured quietly.

The strange haired girl looked up at her new ‘father.’ It still sounded weird in her mind and was somewhat of a foreign concept to her.

Aaron tapped his chin, “Y’know, since right now I’m nullifying your power…. wanna go get some ice cream?”

“No,” Sara remembered when she last ate ice cream. It was a large tub of chocolate ice cream she found and she was sick for weeks. “I don’t like ice cream.”

Aaron pouted, “Mou, well, that tub you ate was probably spoiled and you really shouldn’t eat a whole tub at once you know. Come on, at least try some?”

She just shook her head no and curled up.

Aaron sat down beside her and patted her shoulder, “Hey, you alright kiddo? Is something the matter?” He looked concerned, even going so far as to shift out of shadow state.

“It’s nothing.” She lied. It’s just that thinking about even eating ice cream made her feel queasy.

“You do realize that I can read your mind, right?” Aaron chuckled and patted Sara’s head. “It’s alright, though. You don’t have to like ice cream. So, what would you like?”

“Rice.” Wow. That’s rather plain.

Aaron gave Sara a flat stare, “.... Well thank goodness I’m Chinese. Or at least, was.”

In the background, Juno cursed and flailed as he once again was buried under the improbable mountain of rice bags that filled a whole six trillion aisles in the food section. “DAMMIT THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK.”

Aaron coughed, “So… yeah. We got a lot of rice. Want any toppings on it? Meat? Vegetables? Seafood? I make great roast quails, you know.”

“Um, I’ve never really put toppings on it. Only Ketchup occasionally.” Sara was blushing slightly.

“.... Ketchup…. on…. rice….?” Aaron stared at Sara uncomprehendingly, “.... That is so… so…. White. I mean, okay, that’s racist, but still. Never heard of anyone but white people doing that. Weird.”

“It was all I could get.” Sara looked to the ground.

Aaron stared at the camera and past it to the live studio audience. “We’re really gonna have to fix that. Show of hands if you agree.”

Well well, look at that, a whole lot of raised hands from the audience.

“Alright then, Sara! Let me be the first to welcome you to your new home with a traditional Heibai family meal!” Aaron announced spectacularly, bursting into a black chef’s hat and apron with sparkles erupting around him.

Sara just sat in the corner, looking confused. “What is going on?”

Juno walked past, still brushing off burning rice. “Ignore that. He does that a lot.”

One scene transition later….

“Eat up everyone!” Aaron called out, setting down the last plate of food upon the table. He had even dragged Izack back from Ponyville for this occasion. “And welcome Sara to the family~!”

Sara looked over the table at the white haired boy, who was currently putting a lot of food on his plate. He looked up to meet her eyes before giving a big, genuine smile. “Hello, Sara~ I hope you have a good life with us!”

Sara looked away, finding such happiness to be just as uncomfortable.

Aaron patted Sara on the back, “Hey, come on, kid. Don’t you wanna eat? I mean, aren’t you hungry? Do you not like the food?” Obviously, he knew the real reason, but still, courtesy.

Juno looked over, still eating despite his concern. Jupiter meanwhile…. was gorging herself on fish without a care in the world. Izack hummed as he ate a lot of food as well but he was eating slowly, unlike his mother.

Sara silently took some various food and started trying them, after a few minutes, mainly sticking to meat based foods, rice, and sushi.

“Hmmm…” Aaron mused, idly stepping out of the scene and into the space between the camera and the fourth wall. “There’s gotta be a way to cheer her up…. Unless she’s just naturally gloomy. I mean, well, right now she seems more sad than anything. Hmmm...”

Two weeks later…

“Hey Sara, whatcha doin’?” Jupiter peeked into Sara’s room, a wide smile upon her face.

“Just killing rats.” Sara replied, not looking up from the cage where several dying rats were in. All of them seemed to have died in different but horrific ways. There really was one rat still in there but it had blood on it and looked rather dead as well.

Also, it was eating the other dead rats.

So yeah, Sara seemed to have engineered her own zombie plague.

“... E...to….” Jupiter slowly backed away, covering her own face with one of Aaron’s special Plague-B-Gone towels and going to get Juno. “Juuuuunoooooo!” She cried, sprinting down the hall. “Sara made a zombie rat and you need to kill it with fire!”

Sara just sweatdropped. “It will die in an hour.” She muttered rather late after her adoptive mother fled.

Aaron stepped out of the zombie rat’s mouth and wiped his hands off on Jupiter’s dropped towel. “See? Isn’t it rather easy to engineer zombie plagues when you have someone to guide you through the process? Though, word of advice: never go down to the molecular level for this kinda thing. It’s super gross.”

“Or do something stupid like Umbrella?” Sara asked, recalling when she found Resident Evil on a shelf and decided to play it last week.

“Yeah, those guys were stupid.” Aaron tapped his chin and scribbled out a quick note to himself.

“Note to self (and Readers): Find a version of Drake where he’s a child. Barring that, annoy the normal one into submission and adopt.”

“What are you writing?”

“Nothing important,” Aaron patted Sara’s head and tousled her hair. “So, wanna learn how to make enhancement viruses?”

“Sure~” Sara showed off one of her rare smiles at the thought of learning more about what she could do.

“And now, you go back to Izack,” Aaron grinned at the camera.

With Izack who is back in his pony form...

Izack carefully tied the tarp down over his merchandise and other belongings, making sure his panda bear was firmly attached. He had made a killing in Ponyville, thanks mostly to Rarity and the female members of the town.

He chuckled as he saw one pony wearing Fuka’s hat from Disgaea 4 and he hopped off the cart.

The last two weeks had been rather interesting.

Well, Twilight Sparkle showed up, and then there was the debacle with Nightmare Moon, and then Twilight deciding to stay in Ponyville. He had given her a hat on the house, which was Hecate’s hat.

Then there was the town almost fighting each other over a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. Funnily enough, Twilight seemed rather happy that he had declined on going.

While it would probably help him boost sales, he didn’t really feel like hanging around a bunch of snooty ponies. It would have just led him to pour laxatives on the food and punch.

Izack smile grew brighter as he thought back to his good byes to each of the mane six.

Behind him, back in town each of the mane six’ respective homes were absolutely buried under mountains of stylish hats. Granted, they were all identical hats themed after each respective pony, but still. Mountains.

Then, he hitched up the cart to himself and started walking out of town. Sure, he could have asked his dad to send him over but that really didn’t appeal to him while he was in Equestria.

Uncle Juno had always kept him in Ponyville and never really took him anywhere else so getting to walk around by himself was exciting for him.

And so, he kept walking, the eventful town of Ponyville shrinking behind him until it was merely a speck in the distance.

A couple hours later…

Izack was just humming the opening theme to Luck Star, his cart moving smoothly behind him. Currently, he was moving through a large field, the kind that Displaced usually wake up in.

Fortunately for Izack (And the Displaced as a whole), there would no one waking up there. Probably.

Unfortunately, there was a group already living there.

Diamond Dogs.

Izack froze as they started breaking out of the ground around him, holding swords and other weapons. He mentally thought that they might be like warrior zombies.

“Give us all your money and gemstones, pony!” The lead dog growled threateningly, waving his sword through the air.

He rolled his now yellow eyes. “I don’t have time for this.” He unhitched the cart with one quick movement. “Let’s wrastle.”

“Little pony wants to wrestle with Rex?” The dog smirked and sheathed his sword, cracking his knuckles and advancing, “Haha! This will be quick!” He jumped forward, clearly expecting it to be a quick takedown.

Izack ducked under the much larger Diamond Dog and rolled onto his back, using all four of his strong hooves to kick him in the gut with a force that felt like a sledge hammer. Izack personally didn’t expect it to take out the bigger opponent, maybe stun him but not take him out.

“Graahh….” The dog groaned, slowly moving back to a stand. “That…. hurt…. you die now!” With a roar and another clumsy charge, the dog rushed at Izack, sword held high and gleaming in the light.

Izack hopped up, the information on how to counter zooming through his head.

And so, he rushed at the diamond dog as it was swinging down and punched a hoof right to it’s wrist, forcing it to drop the sword before Izack used his other hoof to punch it right in the throat.

The dog went down to a raucous cheering coming from… somewhere.

Izack rolled his eyes having an idea of who it was. “I have broken all the carpals in your wrist. Do you surrender?”

The dog growled, but shifted from his prone position into a hesitant and altogether reluctant bow. “..... Alpha…..” he muttered, averting his eyes.

The human turned pony blinked as his mind processed this before face-hoofing. “Oh dear god, I got minions.”

Aaron popped out from behind a rock with a trombone and played a short tune to illustrate Izack’s mortification.

Back in the Void about three weeks later…

“-orry about pulling you away from your stall like that, Izack,” Aaron patted Izack’s back, shoving him out of the shop and back into the Void. “And make sure you give that asshole Merchant my message!”

“Yes, dad!” Izack called out from the void before starting to head across the void to where the Merchant was dicking up people’s lifes again. He just floated along, not giving a glance to any of the other void dwellers.

None of them dared touch him or his adoptive sister again. Not after a certain noodle incident involving an angry void dweller, a trumpet, his dad, and the fact that Izack was Aaron’s son.

That void dweller never really walked right after that.

Izack also started to muse on his powers and how it had helped him to improve the diamond dogs and allow them to run the cart while he was gone. It was rather simple with his power to Manipulate Potential.

All he did was increase their learning potential and taught them everything they needed to know and some extra. After all, he couldn’t have them just repeating what they learned so he increased their potential to think for themselfs.

The boy with broken-ass powers was broken out of his reverie when he got to the universe that the Merchant was in. He paused before calling on a slight amount of magic from the void, just to change his appearance to look more normal, AKA changing the color of his hair and eyes black and green respectively.

Then, he entered the universe, appearing in another version of Comic-Con. He seemed to love showing up Comic-Con in all different universes. Izack shook his head and walked among the stalls, heading to a particular one that only a certain few would notice and he could tell why. It seemed to only hone in on humans that the Merchant thought would be hilarious to ruin the lives of.

Said Merchant was currently reclining in his seat and reading, of all the things…. Fifty Shades of Gray.

“I should probably burn that,” Izack thought as he strode over and grabbed the Merchant by the shoulder. “Merchant. Aaron has a message for you.”

“Eh? Who are you?” he asked, nonplussed and a little panicked. “What message?”

“I am Izack, Aaron’s son. And here is the message,” Izack snatched the book before deftly kicking the Merchant in the face. Then he grabbed the void dweller by the coat and yanked him up, only to headbutt his face. Then he yelled, “STOP FUCKING UP PEOPLE’S LIVES! Also, I’m going to start setting up a shop next to you if you keep doing it and set up a clear warning.”

“Atta boy!” Aaron crowed from far, far away.

Izack just gave a thumbs up to where his dad was.

Child 3. Also, German

Sara stared down at the army of griffons before her. Aaron had just dumped her on this Equestria, which was apparently having a civil war with the griffons. All he had given her was a goal and food for a week.

Survive.

The girl turned pony rolled her eyes as she watched ponies swarm from land and sky to attack the griffons. Then she rolled over herself to star at the sky.

“This is so boring. Why did Dad even dump me here?” Sara asked to no one, expecting an answer but getting none.

She gave a small sigh and decided to just listen to the battle. After all, she wasn’t going to get involved in any stupid pony war or griffon politics.

Izack followed his dad into a universe with a tinge of confusion. “Daddy, what are we doing in this universe?” He asked, feeling the universe changing him in small ways to accept him in. It always felt like his organs were being rearranged to him but he never understood why. He faintly remembered one of Aaron’s friends complaining about it.

“Mmm, it’s nothing really all that special, kiddo,” Aaron hummed, skipping across the various timelines in the Universe as he searched for a specific person in a specific place in a specific time. “Just need to find someone almost like you were before I adopted you. It’s very important, you know.” He skipped through a few more timelines and stopped at a particular one, jumping in and letting Izack follow.

Izack followed him in, jittering slightly as he felt time change. “Dad, I am going to lower my potential dealing with time when we get back.” Then he took in where they were. “A-are we in Berlin?”

Aaron looked around, taking in the sights, “Ah yes, Berlin, 1933… the beginning of the Holocaust…” He idly disguised himself as a perfect Aryan specimen and prompted Izack to do the same. “Stay alert kiddo, and if the Nazis come after you to do anything but compliment, deal with them as you see fit.”

“So, kill, maim, and/or embarrass. Got it.” Izack remarked as his hair turned a pale blonde and his eyes turned blue. “I hope we run into an army of them!”

Aaron chuckled, idly walking through the streets and exchanging various pleasantries with the various people that approached him. As he walked, he noticed a group of policemen dragging away a young, African looking boy. “Ah, there he is,” Aaron muttered, shifting into an officer’s uniform and striding up to the men, Izack changing his clothes to fit as well and raising the potential for the officers to believe his father despite the fact that they had never seen him before. “Hold! I shall take it from here.”

“Uh, ja, as you say, sir,” the lead officer agreed, shrugging his shoulders and walking away, tossing the boy at Aaron’s feet, Izack grabbing him by the arm and ‘roughly’ pulling him up. Izack himself waved bye and idly increased their potential for brain cancer.

“Don’t worry, Dad.” Izack whispered, much to the confusion of the boy he was holding. “They’ll be dead in a year or two.”

Aaron chuckled and counted down from five, “Waaaay ahead of you, kiddo.” As soon as he hit zero, the Nazi officers were summarily hit by a runaway supply truck and launched into and through a brick wall, causing the abandoned tenement to collapse on them. “I love doing that.”

Izack remembered the kid he was holding. “Oh yes. I’m Izack Heibai. Want to be my brother?”

The boy stuttered in surprise, murmuring a quiet, “Ich bin Bezalel ... warum willst du mich ...?”

“Oh, sorry.” Izack looked to his dad before poking the boy’s head, increasing his potential to understand English. “Let’s try that again. I’m Izack Heibai.” He gave a big smile to the shocked boy.

“I’m Bezalel, sir… w-what do you want with me…?” Bezalel asked, looking fearfully up at the images of the perfect Aryan ideal that was Aaron and Izack’s current disguises.

Aaron smirked, “How would you like to be my adopted son, Bezalel?”

“I… I’d like that very much, sir…” Bezalel muttered, just before he fainted in shock.

Izack followed his dad out of the universe, Aaron carrying Bezalel when he noticed a Void Dweller soaring around that he had never really seen before. So, he decided to ask. “Hey dad, who’s that weird lady Void Dweller?”

“Which one?” Aaron asked, pointing at the hundreds of Void Dwellers floating around on their own business. “There’s thousands of them.”

“The one with the red hair and big butt.” Izack pointed her out.

Aaron looked over, “Oh, that’s Kat. She’s cool.” He waved and shouted, “Hey Kat! Over here!”

The woman stopped, searching for Aaron’s voice until spying him and smiling. She floated over to them, her green sundress billowing lightly as she did so. “Aaron. It’s been far too long. What brings you to these neck of the woods?”

Izack was slightly confused and voiced it. “We’re in the void, not in woods.”

“It’s a saying, kiddo,” Aaron chided. “Anyway, Kat, meet Izack. First adopted child of probably very many. Say hello, Izack.” He shifted Bezalel behind his back and dropped said unconscious child through a portal and into a nice bed.

“Hello, Izack.” The now white haired boy said cheekily. “Nice to meet you, Miss Kat.” He held up his hand, expecting a handshake. Instead, Kat simply gave him a small bow.

“A pleasure, Izack.” Then she looked at Aaron. “Children? Never thought I’d see the day. You’ve never really been much of a father figure, after all.”

“Daddy gives me all the marshmellons.” Izack cheered, being very literal. They were marshmallows that tasted like watermelons.

Kat smiled with a light laugh, suiting her soft-spoken voice. “How very wonderful. I’m sure your father takes good care of you.” She chuckled again. “There’s a first for everything after all.”

“Oi!” Aaron protested, “I may not seem like much of a parental figure but that’s because I never showed you guys!” He huffed and pouted, turning away and crossing his arms in indignation… and then promptly cracking up as soon as he turned. “Ahahaha! Okay, I can’t say that with a straight face.”

Kat smiled again. “Still the same old nut you used to be. It’s nice seeing that some things don’t change over the years.”

“Mommy and Uncle Juno don’t change either!” Izack pointed out.

“I’m sure they don’t. Glad to see you finally taking a little responsibility, Aaron. But do be careful, parenting is nothing like anything you could ever be prepared for. I’m not sure you’re fully up to the challenge.”

Aaron sighed, “What parent really ever is?” He shrugged his shoulders and patted Izack’s, “All I really do is try to do my part and not mess up. Well, easy for me, but still. I’d like to think I did a decent enough job so far.”

“I’m going to run a shop like Daddy when I get older. Also, going to kick the Merchant’s ass if he keeps displacing people.”

“Now now, if it weren’t for the Merchant, you never would have gotten your father. Be grateful to him, not angered,” Kat lightly scolded.

“But isn’t he still an asshole?”

“Just because someone acts differently than you, doesn’t mean you should hurt them. It’s quite rude.”

“... So, I shouldn’t hate the Nazis even though they ruined countless lives just like the merchant.”

Kat looked at the child oddly. “That’s… not the same thing. Not at all. The Nazis didn’t just ruin lives, they murdered people for the fun of it. The Merchant helps people; he just… has an odd way of doing it.”

Izack went quiet to think about stuff.

Aaron patted Izack’s head, “Now now, Kat, just because the Merchant helps a lot of people, doesn’t mean he doesn’t ruin more lives due to his actions. He does actively set fire to conventions once he’s through with them. Or at least, he did until I beat him up for the six hundredth time. Izack, she’s right. Don’t go beating people up unless you know they’re being assholes just for the fun of it… or if they challenge you to a fight or something like that.”

Izack nodded but kept thinking. “Oh yeah, when are we going to pick up Sara?”

“Couple days,” Aaron murmured, looking at a randomly appearing clock. “She should be just fine right now… Probably a little irritated, though.”

“DIE YOU PITIFUL PIECES OF FLESH!” Sara was running through both armies in a rage, her cloud of disease and death thick and heavy.

Her reason for being angry? One of the griffons attacked her and ruined her hair.

“DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

“Yeah, we should introduce her to Kat when we pick her up.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass on that meeting,” Kat said with a light chuckle and a wave of her hand. “You see, I already have some very special plans for today.”

“What are you planning?” He asked with curiosity.

“I have recently been contacted by my long lost descendant. She wants to meet me!” Kat gave a giddy squeal. “I can’t wait to finally meet her! I mean, I have heard some bad stuff about her, but you can’t trust rumors after all. I think we’re gonna be the best of friends!”

Aaron coughed, hiding his viewscreen behind him, with Izack trying to peek at it. “Yeah… best of friends… well, if we’re thinking about the same people that is. Hmmm… is her name Cerise, by any chance? Cuz I’m sifting through most of the possible timelines that branch out from this point in your history and…. eh, could be worse, actually.” He held up the screen, highlighting a good bunch of the lines across it. “Lots of positive results across the board. A couple negative, but with the right steps, eh, it’ll work out, I suppose.”

Kat put a finger to her lips and winked. “Spoilers, dear. You know I don’t like knowledge of what’s to come~.”

Izack pouted a little, before opening a portal to the shop. “I’m going to go fix something for Bezalel. Have fun with Kat, Dad.”

“Of course, kiddo.” Aaron waved goodbye to Izack and turned back to Kat, “Mmm, that may be true, but I’m projecting decent odds, at least…”

Bezalel groaned as he awoke, muttering faint curses in German. The ten year old boy blinked in surprise when he saw his surroundings, which was a simple room. “Eh? Was ist das alles?”

There was a knock at the door. “Bezalel. Are you awake? I have food and a grumpy uncle here.”

Bezalel reacted quickly, flailing and tangling himself in his sheets and falling out of bed, loudly uttering muffled German curses. He groaned after a few seconds, calling out, “Komm herein!”

Izack opened the door, carrying some chicken noodle soup in one hand and Uncle Juno looking very grumping behind him. “Hi~” He walked on in.

“E-er- Hallo…” Bezalel muttered, tapping his sheets and causing them to suddenly fly back onto the bed as if he had never tangled them.

Izack noted the power and started thinking about what it could be. “Neat power.” He put down the soup at the table before sitting down in one of three chairs in the room. “Anyways, you’re probably confused about what happened and how you got here.”

“Ja, keine Scheiße,” Bezalel snorted, climbing to his feet and taking the soup, leaning against the wall as he ate.

“Well, you were lucky enough to get adopted by my dad, Aaron Heibai. He’s… well… what do you know about alternate universes?” Izack asked.

Bezalel looked at Izack with an incredulous stare, “Was zum Teufel ist ein alternatives Universum?” He finished the soup and set the bowl to the side, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and burping quietly.

“Well, it spawns from the Alternate universe theory where every choice you make basically causes a divergence in time, the choice you didn’t make was made by you in another world.” Izack knew that was confusing. “Um, Uncle Juno, can you help?”

Juno shrugged, “Don’t look at me, brat, I ain’t got nothing.” He rolled his eyes and patted Izack on the shoulder, “Just wait until your father gets home. He’ll explain it better than any of us ever could.” With that, he walked back out of the room, taking the empty bowl with him.

Bezalel took the time to browse the bookshelves in the room, finding that all of them were written in German, save for a German to English dictionary. “....Zweitausend und fünfzehn...?” he murmured, confused beyond all recognition when he saw the copyright date.

“Anyways, just imagine all those different worlds being bubbles. Now, these bubbles can’t rub up against each other or they’ll combine and break, which is why the Void exists. It’s the space between universes.”

“.... Das ist nicht zu helfen…” Bezalel rolled his eyes at Izack and continued browsing, picking out The Chronicles of Narnia and beginning to read.

“Aaron is a creature that lives in the void. He’s not the only one but he’s one of the most…. powerful in a way.” Izack scratched his head. “Not as powerful as DEATH though.”

Bezalel deadpanned at Izack, “Auch, das nicht hilft Pfifferling wert.” He turned back to his reading, sitting down and more or less ignoring Izack for now.

“I know exactly what will help, though~” Aaron sang, poking Bezalel in the shoulder and performing a massive infodump upon Bezalel. That done, he pulled a King Crimson and skipped Bezalel past the pain that usually followed such an infodump.

“One day, you’ll mess that up and explode someone brain.” Izack pointed out with a smile.

“No I won’t!” Aaron protested.

“.... Well… that does help… I guess….” Bezalel muttered, rubbing his head and standing once again. “So… I guess you’re my new dad… sir…?”

“His name’s Aaron Ebay!” A weird girl with green eyes, long white hair, and a scythe spoke up, poking her head in the room.

“Go away Pecila.” Izack muttered.

Aaron sighed and grabbed Pecila by the hair, dragging her away. “Hold on, I gotta take care of this…” he muttered, tossing Pecila away with a shout of, “GET BACK TO WORK, PART-TIMER!”

“ONLY FOR MORE COOKIES!” She yelled back, obviously forgetting what happened last time...

Aaron sighed and leaned on Bezalel, causing the child to jump in surprise, “Sorry about that. The part-timer is very bad about keeping to her work.”

“Wait-bu-wha-” Bezalel sputtered, looking between the door and where Aaron was. “Huh!?”

Izack rubbed Bezalel’s back. “Don’t think about it. It’s Void Bullshit.”

Bezalel sighed, “Immer noch nicht helfen…”

Sara walked into shop in her pony form, dragging behind her a huge cart full of her spoils of war. “I’m home~”

“Welcome home, Sara!” Aaron greeted, dragging behind him a dumbstruck Bezalel. “I see you killed everyone and looted their stuff!”

“Yup. I’m going to take it all to my room.” She passed by them. “See ya later, Dad, New Meat.”

“... I-is she your daughter as well…?” Bezalel whimpered.

Aaron sighed, “Yup. Don’t worry about her. She just takes some getting used to. Usually.”