Lunar Rising

by azore24

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Cheerilee, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Nightmare Moon
Length: 35031

SG-1 explores a world filled with odd aliens on the eve of one of their largest holidays.

SG-1 is sent through the Stargate as a forward scouting team for an extended scientific mission to P3X-597. Arriving in a long abandoned castle, the team heads out for the nearest village. As they approach, it becomes clear that the locals aren't exactly human. Their contact with the pony-like aliens goes well, conveniently timed alongside a celebration of the sun, until an over-the-top, hammy, evil pony appears to ruin the festivities.

A Stargate SG-1 crossover.

Published 2012-06-03 07:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-11 15:56:24 UTC

Chapter 2

The team emerged from the forest two and a half hours later, one and a half of which had been spent updating General Hammond on the situation and setting up Carter’s instruments. The forest itself was actually quite peaceful. Certainly, there had been animal sounds - those of large predators - somewhere in the depths of the trees, but none had come to bother SG-1. The most trying part of their journey, in fact, had come at the beginning.

The only way across the deep chasm that separated the castle from the rest of the Everfree Forest was a rope bridge. This particular rope bridge looked like it had not been maintained since the castle was last used. That meant that three sizeable humans and one rather large Jaffa had to cross a centuries old bridge of rope and wood. While they had made it across, they ended up downing the bridge in the process.

The first thing they noticed upon exiting the forest was the drastic change in the weather. The Everfree had been hot and humid, like many forests might be in the summer. As soon as they passed into the well-cultivated grasses that surrounded the town’s apparent limits, however, the humidity dropped like a stone and the temperature shifted to that of a comfortable summer day with a pleasant breeze.

“Carter, can you make any sense of this?” asked O'Neill as he hopped back and forth over the boundary. It wasn’t exactly a thin line, more of a very steep gradient over the span of a few feet.

“I don’t know, sir. Maybe it’s a property of the trees, or maybe the locals have a weather device like they did on Madrona. Either way, it creeps me right out to cross the boundary.”

“Well, it’s something we can ask the locals about. In any event, it doesn’t seem like it’s designed to keep us out of the forest, so we can throw it on the backburner.” O'Neill shrugged and left the forest’s border. The team followed as he walked towards the town, which was now only a few hundred yards away. “So, Daniel, you want the honor of first contact with these ponies?”

“Yes, actually. You know this is the sort of thing I live for,” replied Doctor Jackson.

“Good, then you’re on point for that. They look too cutesy for my tastes.” That the aliens were pony-like was confirmed while the team was still on the forest side of the weather boundary. From the tree line, they could see the creatures milling about their town. The first surprising thing about the aliens was that some had wings. Apparently there were three types of ponies, according to Doctor Jackson’s translations: normal ponies, unicorns, and pegasi.

SG-1’s scouting confirmed that the pegasi could, in fact, fly. From the distance, though, they were unable to see anything unique about unicorns aside from the obvious. Really, flying aliens were nothing new to the team, but there was something strange about quadrupedal mammal-like aliens with wings. The distance made detailed observation impossible, but the aliens appeared quite peaceful from afar.

It seemed that SG-1 had managed to arrive just as the locals were preparing for some sort of festival, though the purpose of it was unclear. Regardless of the meaning of the festival, it required SG-1 to be on its best behavior during first contact. It seemed like every time they arrived during a local festival, it ended badly for them; O'Neill could still remember the time he was aged at an alarming rate after having cake with a very pretty woman.

The four continued to walk towards the alien village until Teal’c noticed a group of the aliens frolicking in the fields between the town and the forest. “Colonel O'Neill,” he said, “there is a group of the creatures in that meadow.” He pointed in the direction of a dip in the gentle slopes of the grassy field.

O'Neill and Carter pulled up their binoculars. “Sir, I think it’s a group of young. They’re probably being kept out of the way of the preparations for whatever festival is going on.”

“I see that too,” O'Neill responded. As he watched, another of the creatures wandered into view. This one was larger than the young ones, and seemed to be in charge of the group. “Looks like they’ve got a babysitter. What do you say we go introduce ourselves?”

“I’d rather do that than sneak by, at the very least,” said Daniel as he started off towards the group. Carter, Teal’c, and O'Neill followed him in as non-threatening a way as possible. Carter and O'Neill’s weapons hung loose from their vests, gently guided by their hands, while Teal’c used his staff weapon as a walking stick. They strolled towards the group of young in a friendly sort of way that almost never seemed to fail them.

“Mith Cheerilee,” lisped one of the foals, “what are thofse?” O'Neill had already assumed that the pony-aliens would find SG-1 strange, so the young one’s tone was hardly surprising. That was the reason he had Daniel doing the talking, of course.

The larger alien, presumably an adult female by the way it was addressed, turned to look where the child was pointing. She was a purple equinesque creature with a mane striped in two tones of pink. The most striking features, though, were her eyes. They took up at least half of her face, which had an oddly human quality to it. Pale green irises surrounded black pupils. There were enormous pools of reflected light which seemed to lack any discernible source.

This ‘Cheerilee’ furrowed her brow as a shockingly human expression of confusion and worry shot across her face. “I...” she started, “I don’t know. Stay here and I’ll go find out.” She was clearly trying her best to keep worry out of her voice, but the false confidence seemed to fall as flat on the young as it did on the team. As she approached SG-1, they could see that her tail matched her mane and that she had some sort of tattoo on either flank.

Daniel started off their conversation, probably to prove that they were intelligent, or at least friendly. “Hello there. My name is Daniel Jackson, these are Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, and Teal’c,” he said, gesturing to each of them in turn. “What’s your name?”

The alien was taken aback by his words, but only briefly. “M-my name is,” she stammered over her first word, but quickly regained her linguistic footing, “Cheerilee. I’m the school teacher here in Ponyville,” O'Neill rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses at the ridiculous name. “What, exactly, are you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any creatures like you before.”

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t have,” answered Daniel. “We are humans, from a planet called Earth.”

“Well, of course you’re from Earth. I’ve never met anypony that wasn’t,” said Cheerilee quizzically.

“Uh, Daniel,” O'Neill interjected, “I know Earth. I was born there, spent a fair bit of my life there, and last I checked, this isn’t there.”

“No, I think they just also call their planet ‘Earth.’ It’s not all that surprising, I mean, earth is just another word for dirt that caught on as a name for the planet. Really, it’s more surprising we haven’t come across another ‘Earth’ before. Maybe a ‘Dirt’ or a ‘Soil,’ too.”

Cheerilee stood awkwardly, looking between Daniel and Jack before hesitantly cutting into their conversation. “Um, are you trying to tell me you’re from another planet? Like little green stallions from Mares?”

“Uh, no,” said Daniel, “unless those are real. In which case, maybe. We came through the Stargate,” seeing a blank look on the mare’s face, Daniel continued, “the Chappa’ai,” he offered up the goa’uld name for the device and received an even blanker look. “It’s a big stone ring in this old rundown castle in the forest. It spins?” It was clear that Cheerilee had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

“Look, the point is,” said O'Neill with a hint of impatience, “we’re peaceful explorers who want to meet and greet with all the fun aliens of the galaxy, like you fine... people. What do you call yourselves anyway?”

“Oh, I’ve never heard of ‘people’ before. Everypony around here is a pony. Some are unicorn ponies, some are pegasus ponies, and some are earth ponies. But most everypony around here is a pony. We have some mules and donkeys too, though.

“You said you came from a ruined castle in the Everfree?” asked Cheerilee. O'Neill could see how uncomfortable even mentioning the forest made her. Daniel nodded in answer to her question. “I’ve never heard of such a thing, but if you Pinkie promise that you won’t hurt anypony I would love to help you find out.” Her eyes seemed to light up at the idea of helping them to learn about the castle.

The three humans present glanced down at Cheerilee’s hooves in confusion. O'Neill was not only confused by the existence of a pinky promise on a world without fingers, but that such a juvenile oath would be sufficient for the pony. They didn’t seem to be the honor bound type like the Jaffa were, so he figured that they must simply be very trusting. “How exactly do we do a pinky promise,” Jack asked flippantly, “seeing as you have hooves and not hands?” He held up his hand, wiggling his fingers. To emphasize his point, he brought all of them down save his pinky.

Cheerilee’s brow furrowed itself once more, “I’ve never heard of hands before either, but I don’t see what they have to do with making a Pinkie promise. Just repeat after me and do what I do.

‘Cross my heart,’” she used her foreleg to draw a cross over her heart, “‘and hope to fly,’” she used her hooves as pretend wings and lifted up on her hind legs to simulate flight, “‘stick a cupcake in my eye,’” she quickly brought her hoof up and pressed it against her closed eyelid. The team mimicked her actions well enough for her to accept their oath. O'Neill could have sworn that something was watching him while he uttered the absolutely silly promise, but the feeling passed quickly.

As soon as SG-1 finished their Pinkie promises, Cheerilee relaxed. Previously tensed muscles slackened while her ears no longer perked up warily. “Class!” she called happily, “Come over here.” From behind the next hill, about a dozen young ponies approached the group. “I want you all to meet Daniel Jackson, Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, and Teal’c. They are explorers from another planet, so why don’t we teach them about Equestria!”

O'Neill smiled; he liked kids. Behind his smile, though, lay sadness. He had lost too many kids to not feel the hurt whenever he saw young, smiling faces. These kids, or foals he supposed, were more innocent looking than he’d seen in quite a while. Their innocence sort of reminded him of Merrin, the Orbanian girl chosen at birth to learn everything about nuclear physics and then have her knowledge, memories, and personality ripped out of her in order to share her scientific expertise with every individual on her planet. O'Neill had taught her, and thereby her people, what it was to be a kid, though failed to save her. They also reminded Jack of another child he had lost, but did his best not to think about.

The foals were talking with Daniel, Sam, and Teal’c when O'Neill came out of his thoughts. Carter was talking to a few unicorn foals about magic, making O'Neill chuckle as Carter tried to fit their abilities - some of them could manage to levitate small objects, causing their horns to glow - into the laws of physics. Teal’c was listening to two awkward looking boys gush about the ‘awesome’ and ‘totally radical’ Royal Guards, apparently the main military force of ‘Equestria,’ the ponies’ nation. Daniel was engaged in a discussion with four or five of the kids about whatever he could get them to talk about - culture, history, everything. Cheerilee had joined that group and was making minor corrections to the children's statements while Daniel furiously took notes.

A couple of the kids were also sitting and looking at O’Neill. Apparently, he was just that interesting. “Hey kids, what’s up?” he asked them.

“We ain’t goats!” the yellow one with red hair and an enormous pink bow responded.

“What?” was the only response Jack could muster.

“You called us kids. Well, kids’re baby goats, and we ain’t goats. Ah’m a pony, and Twist here’s a pony also, so we’re foals, not kids.”

“Ah, I get it. Where we come from it’s a very broad term for young person.”

“We ain’t ‘persons’ either. Ah ain’t never even heard of a person.”

“It’s people.”

“What?

“The plural of ‘person’ is ‘people.’” Jack decided to shift the topic away from grammar and word usage as quick as he could, so he said, “why are you over here with me instead of with the other... foals, was it?”

“Well,” started the other foal, who name was apparently Twist, “we were thitting with Daniel Jackthon, but then Diamond Tiara and Thiver Thpoon came over, tho we didn’t want to keep thitting there becauthe they make fun of uth a lot.” To say the girl had a small lisp would be a bit of an understatement.

“So then,” cut in the other girl, “we went over to Major Carter, but she was talking about magic, and we ain’t unicorns, so it was reeeeally boring. An’ then we went over to Teal’c, but they were just talkin’ ‘bout the Royal Guard, an’ that’s just as boring.”

“Tho then we came to talk to you,” said Twist, “becauthe you were all alone!” O'Neill smiled at the girls’ story.

“So, Twist and...” O'Neill paused and looked at the yellow pony, silently asking for her name.

“Ah’m Applebloom,” said Applebloom.

“So, Twist and Applebloom,” Jack began once again, taking a seat on the cool grass, “why would the other girls make fun of you?”

The two looked down bashfully. “It’s ‘cuz we’re blank flanks,” said Applebloom morosely, swiveling her hips to show that she indeed had no image on her flank. O'Neill looked up and noticed that most of the other foals had the pictures, just like Cheerilee.

“I was wondering what those pictures were for. What makes them so important?”

“They’re called cutie markth, they thymbolithe what you’re betht at,” said Twist.

“So,” Jack asked, “they tell you what you have to do with your life? That doesn’t seem good thing at all, especially not so young.” The parallels to Merrin grew stronger in O'Neill’s mind. Jack would do whatever he felt necessary if someone or something was trying to control their lives. As the girls leapt to defend the ‘cutie marks’ Jack listened, but doubted that they would change his mind.

“Cutie marks don’t tell ya’ what ya’ have to do, silly! They show folks what yer good at. Ya’ only get it once ya’ know what your talent is. Take mah sister, for example. Hers is a bunch of apples, and her talent is running Sweet Apple Acres and growin’ the best apples in Equestria! So, she followed her talent and runs our farm, and there weren’t nopony that forced her into anything.” Applebloom sat right down after that, looking sure of her victory.

Immediately after Applebloom had finished, Twist cut in with an anecdote of her own. “And mithh Cheerilee has hers because sthe loveth to teach and make uth foalth happy! And, my foalthitter got herth becauthe sthe ith the betht candy maker ever!”

Jack had his retort ready as they finished their arguments. “But what if what you’re good at and what you want to do are completely different? Like, I’m really good at fighting, and it’s what I do, and I generally enjoy myself now that I’ve started going through the Stargate, but I’d much rather just be home fishing, even though I’m terrible at it. See? Just because something is a talent of yours, it doesn’t mean you have to only do that one thing.”

“Now yer’ just bein’ silly! Who wouldn’t enjoy their special talent? Once ya’ know what yer’ good at, ye’ can’t help but love doin’ it an’ makin other ponies happy by sharin’ yer’ talents with ‘em.”

“Very well put, Applebloom,” said Cheerilee as she entered the conversation. Applebloom blushed at the praise, but smiled happily while turning around to see the magenta mare walk over. “What have you learned about Colonel O'Neill and his world so far?”

“Well,” said Applebloom, “we learned that he don’t much care for cutie marks, that’s fer sure!”

“And that he’th a fighter,” said Twist, “but he liketh to take care of fisth more, even though he’th bad at it.” Jack puzzled over her description of himself before realizing that surely they wouldn’t know what fishing was: they didn’t eat fish!

“And what have you learned about our world, Colonel O'Neill?” asked Cheerilee. Jack was caught off-guard by the teacherly tone of the question, but decided to just go with it.

“Well, I’ve learned that the foals of this world are consigned to a single life-path before they’re out of school, and that your culture is totally OK with that, for some reason.” He couldn’t help it, the idea of what happened to the foals once they ‘discovered’ what was best for them just left him incensed.

“Hmm,” murmured Cheerilee, “I think the girls weren’t as thorough as I might have hoped. You see, the cutie mark doesn’t consign anypony to anything, it only shows where their interests lie. I know a pegasus, for instance, whose cutie mark is the constellation Orion. Now, he doesn’t have to be an astronomer just because of that, nor a warrior. He could be either, or he could be a painter who takes his inspiration from the stars. Maybe he could be a teacher, or it could be more symbolic and his talent is to inspire others as the stars inspire us. In reality, he is a long-distance flyer for the Equestrian Postal Service, but his cutie mark only represents that he loves the stars which he uses to navigate his way through the nights.

“Another example would be my cutie mark. Three smiling flowers, showing my talent for making foals happy,” she hugged Applebloom and Twist, eliciting large grins from the fillies. “I decided to be a teacher, where I felt my talents would be of the most use. Another pony with the same cutie mark may have chosen to be a clown, or run a daycare, or grow beautiful flowers to brighten up somepony’s day. The point is, cutie marks don’t tell you what you have to do with your life, they just show how you will do whatever it is you choose to pursue.”

Colonel O'Neill thought for a moment. He didn’t like to admit it, but Cheerilee had a point. “I’ll give this one to you for now,” he said in a friendly manner, “but I’m not certain that I’m convinced just yet.”

“Oh, that’s perfectly alright. I love it when I get to teach anyone, so you should feel free to bring up any issues with me.” Cheerilee smiled and then glanced up at the sun, squinting hard as she did. “Oh my, look at the time! Girls, you should really be going home to get ready, tomorrow is the Summer Sun Celebration, after all!”

“But Miss Cheerilee, I wanna keep talkin’ with the humans! And it ain’t even passed noon yet either,” whined Applebloom.

Cheerilee sighed, evidently not even her cutie mark could force her to enjoy every second of her teaching career. “You have to stay up all night tonight, so you really ought to get some sleep now. And that way, you won’t be too tired to enjoy the day off of school tomorrow, or write me that essay due on Friday,” the last she added with an evil grin, evidently the mare wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows after all.

“Fine,” groused the girls. “Have a good Summer Sun Celebration, Miss Cheerilee. And you too, Mr. Colonel O'Neill.”

“You too, girls,” said O'Neill, “but you can just call me Jack, or O'Neill. Your choice.” The girls sped off, the rest of the class having already left for their homes, after a final farewell.

“So,” said Daniel as the rest of SG-1 approached, “you said something about a library miss Cheerilee? We’d certainly love to learn more about your history while we’re here.”

“Oh, of course,” replied Cheerilee, “but first I think I should probably take you to meet Mayor Mare. We don’t want to cause a ruckus by having you just wander around Ponyville, now do we?”

Chapter 3

Cheerilee led SG-1 through the outskirts of Ponyville, saying that she didn’t want to bring the team into the town proper while the residents were on edge because of the preparations for the Princess’ arrival. Along the way, O'Neill decided to quickly debrief the team while Cheerilee was with them. That way, Cheerilee could correct anything the foals had told SG-1.

“So, Carter,” asked Jack, “magic?”

“I don’t know, sir,” she replied, clearly exasperated. “None of them could really explain how it worked; it seems that the unicorns don’t really develop their abilities until around this time. And none of the ones I was talking to knew much theory behind it.”

“Helpful,” Jack said flatly.

“If I had to guess-”

“Oh, you do,” said Jack, cutting Carter off.

Carter rolled her eyes at the colonel’s remark. “Then I’d say that it has to do with the particles we came here to study, because that’s the only abnormal thing I can think of about this world. Or maybe it has to do with beings like that one we met on Kheb,” guessed Carter, “she could control the weather, fire, and move objects around.”

“Yes,” said Jack, “I remember that well. Daniel thought he was the one with the power if I remember correctly.”

“And if I remember correctly, you believed I could light candles with my mind too,” responded Daniel.

“Indeed, it was only Major Carter who remained skeptical, O'Neill,” added Teal’c.

“Well,” said Carter, “I’d still like to think that there was a simple explanation for their abilities, but knowing that there are aliens that exhibit telekinesis and the like, I honestly have no idea. Can you tell us anything, Miss Cheerilee?”

“Oh, sorry but I really don’t know much about the subject,” said Cheerilee. “I mostly teach the foals history, math, those sorts of things. We do some natural studies, but we never go into a great deal of depth on magic. And I can’t say that I have first hoof experience,” she said as she lifted a hoof to point at her decidedly hornless head, “though I can tell you that it is certainly a natural part of being a unicorn, as much as flight is a natural part of being a Pegasus. And you can just call me Cheerilee, if you would like.”

Carter swallowed a sigh, “it’s alright. The library should have books on that, so I can read up on it then.”

“I hope they do,” said Cheerilee, “but we’re a town of mostly earth ponies and pegasi. While we do have some unicorns, they aren’t generally the type to request academic literature.”

O'Neill moved the conversation to a different topic, his curiosity over the workings of magic gone at the mention of academic literature. “Daniel, you learn anything interesting about this place? Maybe even something useful?”

Ignoring the latter remark, Daniel answered, “actually yes. It seems that the land is ruled by Princess Celestia, an alicorn who raises the sun and moon--”

“What?” Carter couldn’t stop herself from interrupting. “Daniel, the sun and the moon aren’t raised by anyone. That’s centuries old knowledge. Cheerilee, do people actually believe that Princess Celestia moves the heavens?”

Cheerilee was caught off guard by the vehemence and the audacity of the question. “O-of course they do! The Princess moves the sun across the sky and causes the moon to wax and wane. Before her, the unicorns did the job by combining their magic.”

“But it doesn’t even begin to make sense,” insisted Carter. “The sun is over three hundred thousand times more massive than the Earth. The Earth revolves around it; the illusion of the sun moving across the sky is created by the revolution of the Earth on its axis. The level of force required to swing the sun around like that would either crush the planet or tear it apart.”

“Sam,” said Daniel, “I think we might just want to leave it be for now.” O'Neill looked at Cheerilee, picking up on Daniel’s meaning. The mare looked to be equal parts shocked and offended. It wasn’t too surprising when he considered that Carter had all but called the Princess a liar and a fake.

Even as Carter began to argue with Daniel, O'Neill stopped her. “Carter,” he said, “I think it’d be best to drop the subject. No need to argue astrophysics with our new friend,” he gestured to Cheerilee. “Besides, you can always ask Hammond to send some telescopes with the science team, right?”

“Yes, sir,” responded Carter. “So, Daniel, you were saying about the Princess?”

“Wait,” said O'Neill, “I thought that there were two Princesses.”

“When did I say that,” asked Daniel.

“Back in the castle. You said it was dedicated to the Princesses Celestia and... Looney,” the last word carried the inflection of a question as O'Neill made up something that sounded right.

“Luna, and yes, I remember that now. It would explain why Celestia, who is only really associated with the sun, also controls the moon: she had a sister that once controlled the moon. Cheerilee, do you know anything about this ‘Princess Luna?’” Daniel asked.

“Let me think,” said Cheerilee, “I know she isn’t a Princess; we only have one of those.” She thought for a moment, leading the team in silence. “Oh, there is one folk tale about her.” Cheerilee began to tell an abridged version of the story every foal knew, being part of the backstory for Nightmare Night. “‘She used to rule side by side with Celestia, controlling the moon and stars. Over time, though, she grew envious of her sister, for all the ponies would play during the day and sleep during the night. Eventually, this envy blossomed into resentment, causing Luna to rebel against her sister. She became the evil Nightmare Moon, and sought to bring on eternal night.

“‘Celestia used the Elements of Harmony, powerful ancient artifacts, to stop Nightmare Moon. With the power of the Elements, Celestia banished her sister to the moon, ending the threat of Nightmare Moon.’ It’s just an old mare’s tale, though,” added Cheerilee. “It’s probably just a story made up to explain the unicorn head-shaped shadow on the moon. It also teaches an important lesson about the dangers of envy, even between the closest of sisters.

“Are you saying you think this Luna was a real pony?” asked Cheerilee after a brief pause.

“Well, unless somebody snuck out to those ruins and faked those carvings, I’d say there’s a pretty good chance she was,” said Jack.

“But if she was real, then what happened to her?” wondered Carter out loud.

“The story suggests she was banished to the moon for treason,” said Teal’c.

“Well, that isn’t the only story about Princess Luna, and certainly not the only origin story for Nightmare Moon,” said Cheerilee. “Now that I think about it, there’s a book of foal’s tales with Luna as the main character in the library. I usually read some to my class before Nightmare Night.”

“So, Daniel, what about the Princess who actually exists?” prompted O'Neill.

“Well, Celestia has been on the throne for years, centuries at least, and seems to be genuinely beneficent. She actually seems to be akin to a god to the populace.”

“A god, you say?” O'Neill had never met a god he liked, except for Thor, but the little grey alien had a strong non-intervention policy, so this Celestia didn’t exactly strike the colonel as one of Thor’s buddies. “What else have you heard about her, seeing as, according to Cheerilee, she’ll be here in less than a day?”

“Not much, mostly legends and myths surrounding her. A bit of hero worship here and there. Nothing that seemed to suggest that she’s a goa’uld, though,” Daniel added, getting right to the point.

“A what?” asked Cheerilee.

“Oh,” said Daniel, Jack wishing he hadn’t brought it up, “a goa’uld. They’re aliens who take on the identity of gods to rule over and enslave others. They look like snakes and can take over anyone’s body by slithering inside of them. Then they can use their voice, their mind, knowledge, powers, everything. The host they take is forced to watch as their bodies commit horrible atrocities without being able to stop it.” Daniel’s voice became more envenomed as he went on. Jack knew well that Daniel’s wife had been taken as a host by a goa’uld. She had even born a child for another goa’uld.

“That sounds horrible!” exclaimed Cheerilee. “Why would anypony do that to somepony else?”

“Because they are evil,” said Teal’c flatly. “They use a device to heal themselves, gaining lifetimes of thousands of years or more. The device simultaneously destroys their souls. They only care for personal advancement and power and feel free to use others to achieve their ends.”

“Then, how can you stop them if they can hide in the bodies of others?” Cheerilee asked, worriedly.

“They are not very subtle in their actions,” responded Teal’c.

“They like to make their eyes glow,” added Carter, “as a sign of their power. Their voices also get affected by the goa’uld’s control, as if two people were speaking at the same time. Also, anyone who’s ever had one in them can sense them in others.”

“So, then they can be removed, right?”

“Well, no. At least, not easily. We haven’t figured out a way to do it safely yet. I once had one in me, but Jolinar was a member of the Tok’ra, a resistance group of good goa’uld. He sacrificed himself to save my life, actually.” There was a strong hint of sadness in Carter's voice at the remembrance. “One of our allies can do it, though it is quite a painful process.” She grimaced, not wanting to go further into the subject.

“Oh. So, how do you stop them?” Cheerilee clearly was not enjoying the conversation either.

“Well,” said Carter, “as long as they don’t know where your planet is, you can just bury your Stargate. Then they shouldn’t be able to get to you. Otherwise... well, as Colonel O’Neill said, we’re fighters.” She let the statement trail off, leaving it hanging in the air.

The oppressive mood hung in the air for minutes on end, the group making their way to Mayor Mare’s estate in silence. The silence remained unbroken until they stopped before a stately building of stone, wood, and thatching.

Cheerilee lightly rapped on the oak door, using her hoof rather than the carved brass handle provided. The entire facade screamed wealth and opulence, with columns surrounding the door and friezes set in the small overhang they supported. The building itself was a standard two story number, looking much like the others SG-1 had seen. Here and there, though, touches of wealth shone through like gold-plated sore thumbs. The mostly normal windows occasionally had their wrought iron inner frames embellished by artistic alterations in the pattern of flowers or spiraling designs.

O'Neill was caught glancing up at the slightly overcast sky as the door opened. “I thought I sent out a memo that I was not to be disturbed!” The mare who popped her head out from behind the door was tan with a grey mane, though O'Neill could swear he saw pink roots. “I must spend the day preparing my speech for the Princess’ appearance, so whatever it is, take it up with Deputy Mayor Buck Stopper...” The Mayor’s voice trailed off as she only just seemed to notice the four aliens standing on her stoop.

“Cheerilee...” said Mayor Mare with wide eyes and a mouth that somehow hung open while simultaneously allowing for speech.

“Mayor Mare, may we come in?” asked Cheerilee helpfully.

“Oh. Of course, dear. Come on in,” said the mayor, her voice filled with confusion and surprise.

SG-1 entered the home and was forced to either hunch over or crouch down lest their heads and the ceiling painfully become acquainted. O'Neill was surprised to see the home was decorated in much the same way as human residences. From where he crouched in the foyer, he could see into a kitchen filled with pots, pans, dishes, even a wood burning oven/stove combo. He couldn’t help but silently wonder how the handless ponies would possibly use tools so obviously designed for hands. He couldn’t even understand how they came up with the idea of using a fork if they didn’t have anywhere to hold it.

The mayor led the group into her sitting room, still not entirely comfortable with the presence of the four aliens in her home. “Please sit anywhere,” she said with some trepidation. “Can I offer anyone something to eat or drink?”

“”Some water would be great, if you don’t mind,” responded O'Neill. The rest of the team echoed his request, it had been a longish trek through the forest, and there was no reason to dip into their canteens or refuse the mare’s hospitality.

“Of course,” said Mayor Mare, adding, “would you mind helping me, Cheerilee?” The question came out not so much as wanting help fetching water as an attempt at subtly finding a way to talk to Cheerilee away from the aliens. Cheerilee, apparently picking up on the hint, or just being helpful, agreed and went with their host to the kitchen.

As soon as they rounded the corner, the mayor’s strained voice could be heard asking Cheerilee about her strange house guests. SG-1 took the opportunity to have its own hushed conversation while glancing around the sitting room.

“So, thoughts?” asked O’Neil, making it half a command simply by the tone he used.

“They seem nice enough,” answered Daniel. “And trusting, sort of like children, in a way.”

Teal’c nodded in assent before giving a comment of his own. “I do, however, find their technology most confusing. It seems designed for hands and yet they have none.”

“You know,” said O'Neill, “I was thinking the exact same thing! I mean, they have forks for cryin’ out loud.”

“I’m sure it makes sense to them, though,” said Carter. “If they --” Carter stopped talking when she heard the two ponies returning from the kitchen. In her mouth, Mayor Mare carried a tray on which sat six glasses filled with ice and water. Cheerilee carried a similar tray on which sat a large pitcher. The two deftly placed the trays on the coffee table in the center of the sitting room and took seats next to one another on a plush couch.

They each took a cup between their hooves and drank. Cheerilee especially seemed to have built up a thirst watching the foals all morning. O'Neill thanked Mayor Mare for her hospitality as the members of SG-1 each took a cup for themselves.

“So,” said Mayor Mare, “Cheerilee tells me that you are space aliens. She also tells me that you have Pinkie promised to hurt nopony while you are here. Is this the case?”

“Indeed,” said Teal’c.

“Well, then, the next thing I want to know is what is it that brings you to our fair town?” Pride oozed from the mayor’s voice, “I can’t say that I’ve heard of aliens visiting any other of Equestria’s cities.”

“Well,” answered O'Neill, “we arrived on your planet in the Everfree Forest, and saw your very nice town on the horizon and thought we’d come to say hello.”

“Oh,” the mayor seemed a bit deflated that Ponyville wasn’t chosen for anything other than convenience’s sake, though the compliment did not go unappreciated. “In that case, I would like to welcome you to Equestria. May I ask why, exactly, you chose to come to our world, then?”

“Well,” said Carter, “we visit other planets for a living. We have this device, a Stargate, which lets us go to any world which also has one. We came to this planet to do some scientific research on the heavy concentration of strange particles we detected. Doctor Jackson also wanted to study the ruins where your Stargate is located.”

“We’d also like to set up trade with you, and become friends and allies in time,” added Daniel.

“Well,” said the mayor, “I don’t know that I have the authority to grant you any of those things. While we can certainly be friends, any official arrangements or allowances for scientific or archaeological study must be made with Princess Celestia herself. If you come with me to City Hall, though, I can grant you an official visa to Ponyville for the length of the festival. I can also set up a meeting with the Princess for you after the Celebration if you are good until the sun is raised.

“In the meantime, Princess Celestia is sending somepony to oversee the festival preparations in her name. I would suggest you go and meet them before the festivities begin.”

“Thank you,” said Carter, “but are you sure we aren’t imposing on your speech preparation time?”

“Nonsense, dearie,” said the mayor, “I think welcoming our first ever visitors from space takes priority over a speech I’ll have to rework in your honor, anyway.” The mare smiled as she got up to usher the group out. All assembled replaced their cups on the serving trays and filed out onto the abandoned street.

“You know,” said O’Neill, “I coulda’ sworn it was cloudy when we got here.”

Chapter 4

Now that the mayor was the one leading SG-1 through town, they ignored back roads and deserted paths in favor of the most direct routes. This had two interesting side-effects as far as O’Neill could tell. First, Jack was able to appreciate how truly bizarre the pony aliens were. Sure, they had been able to see colorful specks flying through the air, but to actually see it up close was something else entirely.

The unicorn magic was weird, to be sure. If O’Neill hadn’t seen similar feats from the goa’uld and other aliens, he would have been entirely thrown by it. What he hadn’t seen before, though, was a creature the size of a human if it were to stand on two legs, soaring through the air on wings that looked like they’d have trouble lifting a chicken off the ground. Every time one of the pegasus ponies flew overhead he’d look up at it in disbelief, thankful for his cap and sunglasses whenever they flew too close to the sun.

The other side-effect of taking the main streets to Town Hall was that all the ponies in the town could, and did, gawk at SG-1. The handful of rubberneckers quickly turned into a convoy of ponies with nothing better to fill their time before the holiday. Even some of the ponies still preparing for the festivities put down their work to observe the strange creatures while others hurried through their chores in order to do so themselves.

The ponies initially shied away from talking to the humans, even though both the mayor and Cheerilee assured them that SG-1 wouldn’t harm anypony. After about a minute of letting Cheerilee and Mayor Mare handle the questions, O’Neill decided that he’d like to get to know the townsfolk himself.

“Howdy, folks,” said O’Neill, waving at the crowd. “Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?”

Before any of the ponies could respond, a rainbow streak swooped down from the only cloud in the sky. The cyan pegasus struck a mid-air pose, puffing herself up in a show of pride. “I know, I know. I am pretty great, aren’t I?”

“Huh?” was all the colonel could think of replying, amazed that the pegasus could hover like that, much less pose or brag. Besides, he’d complimented the weather, not the blue pony.

The pony looked confused, just as confused as O’Neill felt, for an instant before recovering. “I am in charge of the weather in Ponyville, after all. I suppose since you’re new to Equestria, you haven’t heard of me yet, so I’ll cut you some slack this time. I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria!” The name certainly reflected the pony well, or perhaps it was the other way around, O’Neill wasn’t exactly sure. She was the same height as any of the other mares, probably four feet tall on all fours, and had a sky blue coat. Her most striking feature was her hair: both her main and tail were rainbows, arranged with each color distinctly separated from the others. Her cutie mark was a cloud with a tri-colored lightning bolt, probably representing the fact that she was both polychromatic and very fast.

“Is that so?” asked O’Neill. “How fast are you, then?” He chose to gloss over her being in charge of the weather. Carter might have a conniption fit trying to explain it. Besides, at least two other planets they’d been to had some form of weather control, so he was willing to buy it.

“Well, besides the fact that I can clear the sky in ten seconds flat, I’m the only pony alive who can make a sonic rainboom, maybe the only one ever!”

“A what?” O’Neill looked to Carter, who shrugged back at him.

“Only the most awesome thing EVER! It’s when I make a sonic boom and a rainbow at the same time!”

“Really?” said Jack. “Because I’ve been supersonic before and never once has it made a rainbow. Carter, does going supersonic make rainbows happen?”

“No,” came the flat reply. After a second, Carter appended, “Well, if the conditions were just right, the concussive wave could force water in the air to condense enough to refract the ambient light. But it’d only last a second, and it wouldn’t be very visible or spectacular.”

Rainbow Dash waived a hoof at Carter, “Pshh,” she said. “Enough of the egghead talk, and besides, this isn’t just any sonic boom, it’s the Sonic Rainboom. It’s at least eight or nine times cooler than a boring old sonic boom.”

“Could you show us one? I’d love to see how it works,” said Carter.

Rainbow Dash’s confident appearance faltered slightly, her eyes darting between Jack and Carter. “Uh, heh... maybe some other time. I wouldn’t want to overshadow the sun raising ceremony or anything.” She had regained her poise by now, it seemed. “How fast did you say you could go, again?” asked Rainbow Dash, looking more comfortable being on the offensive. “Looking at you, I wouldn’t think you could get anywhere near the speed of sound.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised what we can do. Carter, what’s the fastest we’ve ever traveled?”

“Not counting hyperspace or Gate travel, I’d say somewhere a bit north of five percent of the speed of light,” said Carter.

Rainbow Dash’s mouth dropped. Literally, it fell to the ground from where she hovered. O’Neill had to look twice before he believed it, and even then he wasn’t sure. The alien seemed to be made of rubber, be without bones, and also be able to defy gravity. He watched in disbelief, his own mouth hanging open, though not to the extreme of Rainbow Dash’s, as the mare shook her head, causing her jaw to realign itself. Jack was barely surprised when she was able to speak without obvious pain or impediment.

“You can go that fast? Can you show me how?” Rainbow Dash’s eyes grew even larger in her head, catching more light and even glinting. She had thrown herself at Carter, somehow grasping Carter’s vest with her hooves, and was shaking the major as if the secret of near-light speed flight would fall out if only she shook hard enough.

“We’d love to,” said Jack, eliciting a hopeful grin from the pony as she stopped rattling Major Carter around, “but we seem to blow up every ship we get that can do it.”

Rainbow Dash’s face fell, not literally this time, Jack noted. “Uuuggh, you mean you can only go that fast if you use a boat? Seriously? It doesn’t count if you don’t go that fast yourself, otherwise anypony who’s ridden a train before could just say that they were as fast as a speeding locomotive or something.”

O’Neill raised his hands in mock surrender and said, “You got us, we’re just big cheats. All we really do is use tools to do cool things, like travel faster than light.”

“Phphhbt,” said Rainbow Dash, brushing off the comment, “everypony knows that Noble Stone said you can’t go faster than light.” Just as Carter was launching into an explanation of hyperspace physics and how they relate to general relativity, the group saw a flash of lightning and heard a roll of thunder.

Everypony, the three humans, and the Jaffa looked around for the culprit in the clear blue sky. Rainbow Dash was the first to see the thunderhead slowly approaching the town from the opposite direction of the Everfree. She slapped her forehead with her hoof and muttered, “Dang it, Derpy, I just cleared the sky. This is exactly why I was waiting, so dang that Twilight Sparkle, too.”

As Rainbow Dash sped off in the direction of the offending cloud, O’Neill followed her with his binoculars. What he saw was a grey and yellow dot, probably another pegasus, pushing the cloud towards town. He turned away from the sight shaking his head, thinking that he should be more freaked out by the sight than he was.

“What did you see, sir?” asked Carter.

“Trust me, Carter, you really don’t want to know.”

“Sir?”

“Let’s just say I know how they control the weather here, and that I’ll tell you later.”

“But sir, if you know how, why can’t you tell me now?”

“Because, Carter, I know you. You’re a scientist and you really won’t like the answer. So, therefore, I’m going to tell you later in a less public venue.”

Carter rolled her eyes at the colonel’s stubbornness and took out her own binoculars. As she was about to look towards the cloud, O’Neill raised a hand to stop her.

“Ehp,” he said. The syllable was slightly more coherent than a grunt, easily transmitting the intended message of ‘no.’

“But sir,” protested Carter.

“Ehp,” repeated O’Neill more sharply than the last time.

“I don’t see why--”

“Ehp”

“I just--”

“Carter,” said O’Neill in a tone that clearly ended the discussion.

“Fine,” replied Carter, lowering her binoculars. “The cloud’s gone already, anyway. You are telling me what you saw, though.”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

Before Carter could respond, another pony stepped out of the crowd to talk to talk to the humans. As Daniel was busy waggling his fingers at a mint green unicorn and Teal’c was being asked about his ‘cutie mark’ and why it was on his forehead rather than his flank, the pony directed its question at Carter and O’Neill.

“Is it true you’re from another planet,” asked the pale yellow mare. Her mane was a mix of fuchsia and pink, noted O’Neill.

“Yup,” said O’Neill. Behind the mare stepped forward two others: one pink with yellow hair and a daisy tucked behind her ear and the other a much hotter pink with pale green hair.

“What’s it like on your world? Do you have flowers there?” asked the one with a daisy in her hair.

“Actually, most of the worlds we visit are very much like this one,” said Carter. “The aliens who set up the Gate network only put them on planets that were inhabitable Plus, we only travel to places on which we know we know we can survive.”

Carter had clearly lost the ponies early on, so O’Neill added, “Yes, we have flowers where we come from.” Noting their cutie marks, he continued, “We even have roses, daisies, and lilies.”

“What?” said the third pony. “But all the stories from Hopeful Wells and Tree Tipper Junior have the alien worlds being uninhabitable. Wells’ Meeting of the Worlds even has the difference between the Maresians’s home and ours as a plot point.” Her friends looked at her in confusion, as if she had suddenly started speaking another language.

“As I said,” Carter responded, “the planets we visit were all very similar when the original Gate builders established the network. Since then, travel between worlds has probably kept divergent biologies to a minimum. And, we wouldn’t have come here if it was too different to be safe.”

“But what about diseases? What would happen if you caught Pony Pox? Or if you spread some alien disease in Equestria?” continued the daisy-marked pony.

“Trust me, we’ve been doing this for years now,” said O’Neill, “and that’s never happened yet.”

“Sir,” said Carter, “what about that time we all regressed into cavemen?”

“Fine, it happened once. But that’s it, and we’ve been safer about it since then.”

“And what about that time you started aging extremely rapidly?” O’Neill was about to respond, but Carter cut him off and continued. “Or that time the Nirrti engineered a plague in a ploy to destroy our Gate?”

“Those last two don’t count, because those were goa’uld ploy,” said Jack. “So fine, there’s been one time we accidentally brought back a disease. Compared to hundreds of missions with no incidents? I’d say that’s a pretty good record.”

“Come to think of it, sir, you are always the one to get infected with something.”

O’Neill chose to simply ignore the comment and instead turned to the three flower-themed ponies. “Look,” he said, “point is, there’s not a lot of risk of transmitting diseases. I’d say the Gate probably filters out a bunch of them.”

The bright pink mare sighed, relaxing for a moment. Just one moment later, her eyes went wide as her pupils and irises both shrunk. O’Neill tried to ignore his discomfort at the aliens’ continually morphing bodies as the mare fell back into hysterics. “You’re not here to steal our stallions, are you?”

“What,” said the rose-themed pony, “take our stallions away? The horror, the horror!” She brought her hooves to her face as she wailed in terror. O’Neill almost thought she was acting a part, in a particularly hammy way at that, but there was a look of real terror in her eyes.

“Of course not,” said Jack dismissively. “What would we even do with a bunch of alien stallions anyway? Although,” he said wryly while stroking the beard he didn’t have, “now that you mention it, we might do well to take one or two.” While the rose and lily ponies ran away screaming in terror, much to the bewilderment and mild annoyance of the crowd, the daisy pony just blushed.

“I guess that does sound a bit silly,” she said bashfully. “I’m going to go calm those two down. I’m Daisy, by the way. Will I be seeing you all at the party?”

“Party?” asked O’Neill.

“Oh, you must not have met Pinkie yet. Don’t worry, though, with all this hubbub you’re sure to sooner or later. In case you manage to avoid her, come to the library tonight at sundown.”

“Thanks,” said O’Neill. “We’ll do that.” The pink mare sped off after her friends and was almost immediately replaced by more ponies. At some point even their pastel colors managed to blend together; Jack couldn’t begin to remember them all. Carter began to talk astronomy with a pegasus Cheerilee introduced to her while Daniel’s time continued to be monopolized by the green unicorn. Teal’c’s conversations seemed to be short and uncomfortable, probably because he just didn’t fit with all the cute and innocent ponies. It was that or the fact that he always gave short, direct answers with no room for conversation. Jack really couldn’t tell.

The next pony to come up to Jack was a white unicorn with pink hair. “Where do you come from?” asked the pony.

“A little blue-green planet called Earth,” said O’Neill. “But a different one than yours. We just happened to name them the same thing,” he added when he saw her confused look.

The pony seemed about to ask another question when another pony cut her off. “What’s it like on your planet?” asked the brown-coated earth pony stallion.

“A lot like it is here, but less whimsical,” said O’Neill.

“Are you really from another planet, or are you some sort of weird diamond dog?” asked a third pony before either of the previous two could do so.

“I’ve never even heard of a... ‘ruby rottweiler,’ was it, before,” said Jack. It was a special pleasure to see the look on people’s faces when he acted like an idiot, and that pleasure was doubled at least by the more expressive faces of the aliens.

“Are there ponies where you come from?” asked yet another.

“We have animals that we call ponies, but they aren’t intelligent,” answered Jack, not even bothering with jokes at this point. He’d been at this since they left the mayor’s house, and the large crowd was starting to turn even the climate-controlled air stifling.

“Are you from Plotseidon?” asked another, giggling in much the same way an Earth child would at asking if someone was from Uranus. O’Neill couldn’t figure out exactly what was so funny about ‘Plotseidon.'

“How did you get here?” asked another pony from the crowd.

“We came through a stable wormhole formed by a superconducting ring made of Naquadah. By crossing the event horizon we travelled through a hole in space and came out at your Stargate just a few seconds after we entered ours. It’s simple stuff, really.” While he reveled in the blank stare this elicited, Jack could swear he felt Carter staring at him in disbelief from somewhere behind him. It was a very strange feeling.

“Did you actually come from outer space?” asked another.

“Yes,” said O’Neill. “From far out,” he raised an arm and pointed in a random direction. He wavered for a second, then slowly started moving his arm in an ever widening pattern connecting random points in the air. “... that way,” he concluded, leaving the pony with no more knowledge than that with which it had come.

After a few more minutes of fielding the same sort of inane questions, apparently O’Neill was more approachable than Teal’c and Carter and Daniel were, well, they were Carter and Daniel, they finally made it to Town Hall. With a sharp clop of her hoof on the aged wooden platform surrounding the structure, the mayor called the mob of ponies to order.

“My dear Ponyvillians,” began Mayor Mare, “While I am glad that you have taken a shine to our guests, the four travelers from another Earth, we do have business to attend to.” There was a collective groan from the audience. “But fear not, for they will be staying with us throughout the Summer Sun Celebration!” The ponies in the crowd stomped the ground, giving the mayor a hearty round of applause.

“Come on up, humans,” continued the mayor. “For those of you who haven’t met them yet, please allow me to introduce our guests. “Colonel O’Neill, Major Carter, Daniel Jackson, and Teal’c.” Each member of SG-1 took the stage with the mayor as she called them. The crowd cheered once more as the group turned to enter Town Hall.

“Cheerilee will meet you out back,” said Mayor Mare so that only SG-1 could hear. “We figured it would be easiest if the crowd dispersed a bit before you go--”

The mayor was cut off as two shapes charged out of the Hall’s main entrance. One seemed to be a white unicorn, and the other was some sort of purple catastrophe of hair. The white unicorn was half-pushing, half-levitating what O’Neill assumed was a purple pony into town at breakneck speeds. All the while she was shouting something about a ‘fashion emergency.’

“Well,” said Mayor Mare, with an amazingly small amount of surprise in her voice, “let’s get you those papers, shall we.”

Chapter 5

Town Hall was decorated in splendid style for the Summer Sun Celebration. The main chamber was decked out in blue ribbons with yellow trim, in addition to burgundy curtains in all the archways which led to different parts of the building. Tapestries hung from the banisters, honoring the sun and moon as well as symbols of less obvious significance. Flowers hung down from their pots which supported the middle of a number of banners. Everything was arranged to draw the viewer’s attention to a grand balcony, presumably where the Princess would appear.

Mayor Mare gave an approving nod to the decorations as she walked across the room. She led SG-1 through one of the curtained doorways below the grand balcony and into a short hallway. Looking around, O’Neill saw two doors and a stairwell in the dimly lit hallway. It was also crammed full of tables, desks, chairs, and those little moveable posts with strings attached they used in movie theaters to mark the lines outside the box office. Jack always liked those things.

The mayor brought the team through one of the doors and into what was assumedly her office. “Now,” she said, walking around her desk, “just give me a minute to find the papers you’ll need.” Mayor Mare began to dig through her desk, pushing aside crumpled notes and old documents. After a minute she brought up her forehooves to aid in the search and moved on to the filing cabinet which sat against the wall. Inside the cabinet lay folders at all angles filled haphazardly with many colored papers.

The mayor leaned further into the black storage unit, completely burying her head and neck as files flew out of the cabinet and onto an ever growing pile in the corner of the room. The tossed objects rapidly increased in variety; horseshoes, apples, and even an accordion were apparently kept in the impossibly small filing cabinet.

“Oh, where could they possibly be?” muttered Mayor Mare as a chicken joined the accordion in the pile. The added clutter made the already cramped room feel even smaller, especially with the four members of SG-1 hunched over to avoid the low ceiling.

“Oh, ponyfeathers!” swore the mayor. As if in response, the door to her office opened and a grey pony with a pale blue mane poked his head in.

After a surprisingly stoic glance at the chaos in the office, he sighed and greeted the mayor in a tone which could easily be mistaken for a friendly one. “Ah, Mayor,” he said, “I thought you would be out of office all day. Then I heard the commotion outside, so I figured you’d be in here soon enough.”

“Ah, Buck Shtoffer,” said Mayor Mare with a rather thick folder still in her mouth. “Do you know where the temphorary vishash are?” She spit the file out onto the pile which had somehow become taller than the cabinet itself.

“Mayor,” said Buck Stopper, “the princess removed them from the law nearly two years ago. I’m sure the memo is somewhere in all this.”

O’Neill let his head hang for a moment, shocked that the mayor would forget something like that. “D’oh,” he said. The whole sequence really did feel like something out of the Simpsons.

Buck Stopper shot a look over his glasses at the fablunged mare and continued, “Are these the creatures I’ve heard so much about?”

“That depends,” said O’Neill, “what have you heard?”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” said Buck Stopper. “So, assuming you aren’t here to steal us stallions away, what exactly brings you here?”

“Science, friendship, really old stuff,” said Jack, trying very hard to match the deputy mayor’s tone. “Mayor Mare knows all about it, I’m sure she can fill you in once we go.”

“Mayor,” said Daniel, “if we don’t need any paperwork to go into town, could we head over to the library? Cheerilee is going to help us with some research on your planet, and I’d like to learn as much as I can before the Summer Sun Celebration.”

“If you plan to study at the library,” said Buck Stopper, “I’d suggest you get on it quickly. Pinkie just decided that we’ll be holding the pre-party there tonight.”

“Thanks, we’ll do that,” said Daniel. “Uhh,” he added after a moment of looking around, “which way is the back door, again?”

After a quick set of directions and a couple minutes of wrong turns and indecision, as well as Daniel gawking over every tapestry as if they held the secret to the incredibly interesting pony culture, SG-1 made its way out of the Town Hall. While the street they found themselves on wasn’t exactly designed with stealth in mind, it was fairly deserted. The only pony to be found was Cheerilee, who was passing time by kicking a rock around the deserted street.

“Oh, that was quick,” said Cheerilee in surprise.

“It turned out we didn’t need the papers after all,” said Carter. “It was lucky that Buck Stopper checked in, or we could have been there all night.”

“Heh,” laughed Cheerilee, “he does keep the government running. The mayor’s much better at PR, though. For all their differences, they make a great team.” O’Neill couldn’t help but feel like there was an important life lesson Cheerilee was trying to teach someone.

“Indeed,” said Teal’c. “Buck Stopper also suggested that we begin our research shortly. It seems the library will be holding a party tonight.”

“That must be the party Daisy told me about,” said Jack. “Who is this ‘Pinkie’, anyway?”

“Pinkie’s, well, uhh,” said Cheerilee, sighing, “the best way to describe Pinkie Pie is that she’s Pinkie Pie. ‘A pink fuzzy ball of sugar high-induced joy and frivolity that never, ever, ever stops’ is another way to do it. It’s her personal mission to make everypony she meets smile, and I haven’t heard of her failing yet. Though, at times she has gone to some pretty ridiculous lengths to get those smiles.”

“So I should watch out for falling anvils and pianos, then?” asked Jack.

“Jack, I don’t think Cheerilee was referring to schadenfreude. You weren’t, right?” asked Daniel, though he didn’t sound too unsure.

“While I’ve never heard of schadenfreude, I don’t think she’s ever done anything that could hurt anypony, intentionally, at least. The most dangerous thing she has is her party cannon, and maybe her welcome wagon.” A smile broke out on Cheerilee’s face as she said, “and maybe her cupcakes if somepony forgets to brush their teeth after eating.”

“Well, what’s so bad about that? A little bit of fun never hurt anyone, right, Teal’c?” Jack said, patting the Jaffa on his shoulder. Teal’c merely raised an eyebrow at O’Neill, who then decided it best to remove his hand.

The group quickly made its way to the library, a small miracle considering the mob that had slowed their progress the last time they walked through town. On the short trip there they managed to avoid running into any pony at all. The building itself was a sight to behold; a tree had been grown up large and strong enough to be the building itself. The door was emblazoned with the image of a lit candle and covered by an awning of moss. The remains of secondary trunks were now balconies with glass windows. The upper stories, it looked like there were at least three, were built into the main trunk. Some windows, though, looked like they were built into the leaves themselves. All told, it was an impressive sight to behold. One, thought Jack, which would take a forest of sequoias and a few years of practice to do back on Earth.

“Welcome to Ponyville Public Library,” said Cheerilee as she pushed open the Dutch door, leading SG-1 inside. The ground floor of the library had one main room which was surprisingly spacious for the size of the tree it was built out of. The walls of the tree had been carved into bookshelves and stuffed full of hardcovers. The center of the room was dominated by a round table grown, apparently, out of a stump on which sat a carved horse’s head. Four smaller tables, reading stands or lecterns really, were arranged in two sets of opposites. Across from the door was a staircase leading to the upper stories.

The main room managed a nice, homey feeling while simultaneously making Jack consider exactly how painful splinters could be. His other favorite thing about the library was that, beyond the door which he nearly needed to crawl through, the ceiling was high enough and the room spacious enough that he didn’t feel like a giant with an ever increasing number of bumps to the cranium.

“Looks like this ‘Pinkie’ has already started setting up,” said Carter in reference to the box of streamers and confetti sitting on the table.

“Oh, sweet Celestia, this is going to be a crazy party,” breathed Cheerilee.

“How can ya tell?” asked Jack. “She’s only got one box of decorations so far.”

“Exactly! Pinkie’s already started setting up, and it’s still at least two and a half hours until the party starts.” While O’Neill could tell Cheerilee was speaking in earnest, he found it hard to believe that setting up only a few hours before one of the biggest parties of the year was something out of the ordinary.

Daniel, Carter, and Teal’c went with Cheerilee to peruse the shelves. On a whim, Jack went with Daniel, who split off from the others.

“Here, hold this,” said Daniel, handing Jack a medium sized book written in the aliens’ language. Almost without thinking, Jack took hold of it.

“So, Daniel,” said O’Neill as more tomes piled up in his arms. “Just some light reading before the party?”

“What?” asked Daniel. “Oh, right. Sorry.” He stepped away from the bookshelf and took half of the books he’d given Jack. The two walked over to the central table, where they placed all of Daniel’s chosen books.

Jack picked one off the top of his pile and said, “Hmmm... squiggle, frowny face, backwards ‘e,’ triangle... yes, this is one of my favorites.”

Daniel sighed, “I didn’t know you were such a connoisseur of alien recipes.”

“You know me, Daniel, always willing to try something new,” responded Jack while carelessly dropping the book back onto the table.

“Yes, I remember you telling me how much you love hay and grass. I’ll fix you a salad when we get back.”

“Har har har,” said Jack in a deadpan. Deciding to change the subject, he said, “So, what did that unicorn find so interesting about your fingers?”

Daniel paused for a moment, making that face he made when trying to remember something. “Oh,” he said, “you mean Lyra? We got on a discussion of music, and it turns out that she plays the lyre. I was just telling her that we have it on Earth too, so she asked how we can play it without magic. I was showing her how hands work; she seemed really interested in them.” After a pause, Daniel’s eyes lit up in a way Jack knew meant he was about to be losing the conversation.

“And what exactly did you do to make those mares run away in terror?” Daniel’s face was filled half with genuine satisfaction at one-upping Jack, and half with dread that he had actually done something terrible.

“Nothing,” said Jack, though Daniel didn’t seem to be convinced. “Nothing, really! All I did was joke around with one of them. She thought we were Maresians here to steal their Stallions, you see.”

“And you just played along with it?”

“No, I denied it entirely. Then I played along with it, her friends didn’t get the joke, I guess. They did seem a bit skittish.”

“Jack, you do know we’re trying to forge strong, lasting, and, most importantly, friendly bonds, right?”

“Since when has a joke ever hurt diplomatic ties?”

“Do you want a list? Because I can give you one.”

Jack grunted in response and said, “Well, Daisy got it at least. And Buck Stopper didn’t seem to really think that we were here to steal him away, so I wouldn’t worry too much.” O’Neill noticed Cheerilee leading Teal’c and Carter to the table. “So, find anything you like,” said Jack in a parental tone.

“We have found several texts of interest, O’Neill,” said Teal’c.

“Before you start reading, we should probably go to the side room,” said Cheerilee. “If Pinkie’s setting up the party in this room, there’s no way you’ll be able to learn. Besides, the book of Luna tales should be in the foals section in there.”

The group moved into the side room through another uncomfortably short door. The side room was smaller than the main chamber, and had a lower ceiling too. Jack was still able to stand upright, but he came dangerously close to the ceiling. It was a bit of a disconcerting feeling. The walls held more carved bookcases which were stuffed to capacity. A few of the reading stands dotted the walls and a window looked out onto the street behind the library, letting in the waning sunlight.

Daniel sat down cross-legged at one of the lecterns near the window and began to read. Cheerilee helped Carter through a school text on magical science while Teal’c took the opportunity to meditate. It was necessary for him to enter a deep meditative state, Jack knew, to maintain his health. Jack also knew that he didn’t take kindly to pranks pulled during one of these kel’no’reem sessions. Basically, for lack of anything better to do, the Jaffa was taking a nap.

For himself, Jack had nothing to do. Daniel would probably be happy to talk his ear off about the local culture, but there was no way O’Neill would subject himself to that. At first, he joined Carter and Cheerilee. The discussion was at a low level, so there weren’t any pretentiously fancy words, but even at the grade school level, Carter was Carter. She began to start talking scientific mumbo jumbo and writing equations on the notepad she carried with her.

All too quickly, Jack found himself sitting at the lectern next to Daniel’s, slamming his face into an open book. He’d decided to look over the text, because why not, and came to the conclusion that he had absolutely no idea what it said.

“I’m so bored,” whinged Jack to no one in particular.

Daniel, being the closest at hand, took it upon himself to respond. “So why don’t you go take a walk or talk to the locals. That’s what you normally do about now. Actually, I’m surprised you stuck around so long.”

“Yeah, well, I think if I went out again I’d be crushed in a stampede of curious ponies,” said Jack flippantly. Just as the words left his mouth, a series of festive pops and whizzes sounded from the main room. “On second thought,” said Jack, “meeting some locals could be fun.” He stood up and went to the door.

Upon opening the door, he was assaulted by a wave of sound, confetti, and streamers. He blinked a few times, trying to determine exactly what caused the blast. Instead of the party-themed cannon he was half-expecting, all he saw was a particularly pink pony with balloons for a cutie mark. Her mane and tail were poofy and pink, though of a darker shade than her coat.

“You must be the infamous Pinkie,” said Jack. The pink mare lifted her head out of a bag of party goods and turned towards O’Neill. As soon as she saw him, she lept in the air and hung there for a handful of seconds with her mouth gaping open and eyes wide. Jack really couldn’t get used to the wild contortions these ponies could put their bodies through.

Pinkie Pie gasped as she hung in the air before speeding off towards the exit. Halfway there she froze in the air and began to waver back and forth. A second later, she fell back to the ground with a decided lack of grace. Quicker than O’Neill could follow, she was back on all fours and approaching him with the most exasperated expression Jack had ever seen.

“Ugggh,” said Pinkie Pie, “here I am planning a super special surprise party slash Summer Sun Celebration soiree and you go and ruin the surprise! I mean, come on!”

Jack was taken completely aback by Pinkie’s brief tirade. So flummoxed was he that he couldn’t find a retort before Pinkie started up again. “Well, since you’re here anyway, why don’t you help me with the party? I’ve got streamers and balloons and confetti and sarsaparilla and hot sauce and cupcakes and --”

“Yes,” said Jack cutting off the unbroken list of party goods, “I can see that. So, what sort of help do you need? Decorating the ceiling?”

“No, silly. That part’s easy,” said Pinkie. As if to prove her point, she reached up to the ceiling and somehow tied off a streamer to the matte surface. While Pinkie Pie moved to tie off the streamer in more places along the ceiling, she said, “Why don’t you set up the drinks on the table? I usually do it, but for some reason nopony wants to drink them. I mean, I know the drinks are good, I taste them all to make sure!”

“So Pinkie,” said Jack, “who is the super special surprise party for? It seems like most ponies in town already know about it.”

“Of course they know about it! How else could there be a surprise? I mean, having no one pop out and shout surprise wouldn’t nearly be as fun as getting the whole town to do it.”

“I get that, I really do,” said O’Neill, “but won’t the guest of honor find out if everyone’s talking about it?”

“Oh, no. She’s new in town, so it’s pretty safe. Besides, Twilight’s going to be busy all day checking on the Summer Sun Celebration and most of the preparation is being done outside of town, so the secret’s safe. Besides, everypony Pinkie promised not to tell, and NOPONY breaks a Pinkie promise.” There was a flash of fire in the mare’s eyes as she said the last clause.

“What makes these ‘Pinkie promises’ so binding,” O’Neill asked as he started to lay out a few goblets with the drinks. Pinkie stared at him in confusion for a moment, clearly not getting Jack’s question. “Like how Cheerilee and Mayor Mare both trusted us immediately once we made Pinkie promises.” Then, suddenly, Jack was hit by a wave of realization and said, “wait, is the Pinkie promise named after you?””

“Who else would they be named after?” asked Pinkie Pie. “I haven’t heard of any other Pinkies, and I know everypony in Ponyville, so there can’t be anypony else for it to be named after.” Trying to follow the motormouthed mare’s logic was sort of like trying to follow Daniel or Carter when they got really deep into an explanation: doable, but quite difficult. He found Pinkie Pie’s brand of confusingly dense chatter more palatable, if only because she was not a scientist.

“Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. What I really want to know is what consequences are there for breaking a Pinkie promise. I mean, what makes you the patron saint of oath-keeping?”

“Oh, I’m not one of those whatchamacallits. I’m just friends with everypony in Ponyville, and breaking a promise to a friend will lose their trust, and that’s the fastest way to lose a friend FOREVER.” Pinkie seemed like she was trying to be as imposing as possible on the last word, but it didn’t really work for O’Neill. The sentiment was just too naive to be taken seriously. Sure, certain promises were inviolate, but the strict dichotomy that Pinkie seemed to see just wasn’t there.

O’Neill didn’t argue the point, though; philosophical discussions with aliens were never good ideas, and this particular subject didn’t warrant the stress he was sure would follow. Instead, he said, “ah, I see,” and began to set up the foodstuffs on the table.

A few minutes into it, having chatted lightly with Pinkie, mostly about the party to come, O’Neill finished with all the food and drinks. “Hey, Pinkie,” he said, “how’s it look?”

“Hmmmmmmm,” said Pinkie Pie as she scrutinized the table. Finally, she said, “it looks good! Except for this,” she pointed at the hot sauce, “it should go over here,” she pointed at the assortment of drinks.

“You do know that this is hot sauce, right?” asked O’Neill.

“Well duh, won’t it be hilarious if somepony accidentally drinks it?”

Jack smiled mischievously, “well,” he said, “if that’s the sort of party you’re looking for, allow me to make a few suggestions.

Chapter 7

Jack practically flew down the awkward stairs in Town Hall. Having been built for ponies, they were wider and shallower than he would like, but there was no time to complain. The team emerged into the main chamber as a few of the stouter ponies were recovering.

“Colonel O’Neill,” called a familiar voice from the crowd, “what just happened?”

O’Neill turned to see Applebloom peek her head out from behind a curtain. Two other fillies Jack didn’t know also peeked out, fear swimming in their expressive eyes. He knew that SG-1 was presumably on a tight schedule, but what else could he do besides reassure them? “Nothing too bad,” said Jack flippantly, “just a power-hungry villain looking to take over your planet. Oh and there’s an evil alien controlling her.”

“How is that not so bad?” shouted the orange pegasus filly, forgetting her fear.

“Don’t worry, kid, we deal with one of these types once every week or so,” said Jack.

“I’m not a goat,” said the pegasus filly. Applebloom burst out into giggles, causing the two other fillies to stare at her as if she was mad. The orange filly only then seemed to realize she was still locked in an embrace with the other two, the group never having disentangled themselves since Nightmare Moon’s appearance.

The filly struggled for a moment, pulling herself free from the other two. “What’s so funny?” she demanded. Regaining her composure, or more likely putting up a facade, she scoffed, “Ghaah, you scaredy ponies are so uncool. I’m going to go find Rainbow Dash; she’s probably stopped Nightmare Moon already.”

As if she’d heard her name spoken, Rainbow Dash swooped in through the now broken doors and landed angrily next to Applejack, who O’Neill had met at the party. “Rainbow Dash!” shouted the orange filly as she ran over to the two mares.

“Big sis,” cried Applebloom as she also ran to the pair.

“Hey, Scoots,” said Rainbow Dash, “you OK?”

“Consarn it, Applebloom, you had me a might worried. Where’d ya’ run off to?” said Applejack. The admonition didn’t carry much weight, having been said tenderly enough to overwhelm any accusation in the words. Applebloom fell into the embrace Applejack offered as she started bawling.

“OK? I’m awesome!” said Scoots, “You were so brave and cool, going after Nightmare Moon like that. Did’ya get her?”

Rainbow Dash grimaced before responding. Whatever it was she said was drowned out by the third filly’s cry of, “Rarity!”

“Oh, there you are Sweetie Belle; I have been ever so worried. You aren’t hurt, are you?” cooed Rarity.

Sweetie Belle sniffled, wiping her nose on her foreleg, and tackled her sister in a massive hug.

A soft whimper barely made itself heard as Fluttershy stuck her head out from between her forelegs. She had curled up tightly into a ball at the gunfire, and Nightmare Moon’s display of power hadn’t convinced her to unfold herself. She said something, but whatever it was didn’t carry through the clamor in Town Hall.

Rainbow Dash flitted over to Fluttershy’s side, closely followed by Scootaloo, to comfort her friend. “It’s OK, Flutts, Nightmare Moon left.” Another mumble escaped from the pink and yellow ball, to which Rainbow Dash replied, “Hey, no need to worry. I’m here for ya, right? Nightmare Moon had to fly pretty fast to get away from me; there’s no way she’ll want to mess with me again.” O’Neill was impressed by her bravado. He really hoped it was all a front and the mare didn’t think she actually stood a chance against Nightmare Moon.

“But if there’s no sun, then...” Fluttershy’s voice fell to a whisper once more, though to O’Neill’s ears it seemed she was more worried than scared. At least, worried was making a strong push for the lead emotion present in Fluttershy’s voice.

“I don’t know, sugarcube,” said Applejack. She joined the two pegasi, Rainbow Dash having unceremoniously abandoned her conversation with Applejack to see to Fluttershy. “I know it’d sure be hard to grow apples without the sun, though. I can't imagine there being much food for your critter friends, or anypony, for that matter.”

Something seemed to change in Fluttershy, as if some inner resolve had made itself known. She stood up with a determined look in her eye and said, “She has to be stopped.” While her voice was still only just above a whisper, the determination in the tone gave it strength to carry across Town hall.

“Oh, I agree, darling,” said Rarity, “her outfit was simply garish. If she intends to decorate all of Equestria like that, I’ll have no choice but to join this party and stop her myself.” Rarity flicked her mane back, not so much striking a pose as seamlessly incorporating one into her declaration.

“Did somepony say party?” asked Pinkie Pie enthusiastically, who seemed to pop into existence in the middle of the group. “I’m in! Oh, this is going to be so much fun, and then later, I can throw a party for our party.”

“Ugh,” sighed Rainbow Dash, “we’re not partying, Pinkie Pie. We’re going to stop Nightmare Moon.”

Before Pinkie Pie could give any response, Sweetie Belle broke in. “Don’t go, Rarity,” she cried. “She was really scary!”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” chided Rarity, “that hideous excuse for a tyrant won’t stand a chance against us.”

“Besides,” Rainbow Dash cut in, “I think I know who we can start with.” There was a conniving tone in her voice that made Jack all sorts of uneasy. Ponies as direct as Rainbow Dash never went well with plots. His unease was doubled when Rainbow Dash looked up from the group and directly at him. “Hey, O’Neill,” called Rainbow Dash.

“Yes?” asked O’Neill dubiously.

“You want to come help us stop Nightmare Moon?” Jack didn’t know how to respond to that. Nightmare Moon had just appeared, withstood all of SG-1’s firepower, and sent a trio of this planet’s soldiers flying. Even through that, Rainbow seemed certain they had a chance; more than that, she seemed to think they couldn’t lose. Yup, she was definitely the dangerously reckless type.

Almost immediately after Rainbow Dash made her suggestion, Pinkie Pie jumped in and said, “Yay, Jackie’s joining our party. Now we can get to the really good pranks.” Pinkie rubbed her hooves and began to cackle. The lights in Town Hall actually flickered as she laughed, as if the building knew it had been cued.

“It ain’t that kind’a party, sugarcube,” said Applejack, looking a bit disturbed by the light show. Pinkie deflated, drooping over at her midsection while the lights promptly jumped back to their full brightness. Jack still wasn’t sure how candles managed to look like lightning, but that was almost the last question he felt required an answer.

Right now, though, time was of the essence. They needed to get to the library quickly, and having five extra sets of eyes looking, especially eyes that knew Equestrian, would be a great help.

“So, are you in or not?” asked Rainbow Dash, pushing her face right up to Jack’s, snout to nose, with a determined look in her eyes. For a moment, the two groups stood there, facing one another. Pastel ponies stared at SG-1 expectantly. The members of SG-1 watched the aliens with confusion and bemusement. The moment seemed special. Jack could practically smell the significance of the two groups joining up to stop a rogue goa’uld.

The moment smelled surprisingly like garlic breath. Scrunching his nose, Jack pulled his head back and wafted away the air in front of his face. “Pinkie,” he said, looking right past Rainbow Dash, “I think you may want to skip the ‘Gratuitously Garlicky Guzzler’ prank next time. It’s not worth the fallout.”

Pinkie Pie fell over, laughing. “But this makes it twice as worth it! Secondary pranks are even better than the main ones.” While Pinkie rolled on the floor laughing, Rainbow Dash turned on her.

“You set that one up?” she shouted. “Everything I eat is going to taste like five pounds of garlic for the next week!” Rainbow held up her forelegs in exasperation as she berated Pinkie. The rest of the ponies wrinkled their noses and backed away. Now that he was looking, O’Neill thought he could see thin green clouds coming out of Rainbow Dash’s mouth. This world was crazy.

“Come on,” said Jack, taking the initiative away from Rainbow Dash, whom he judged as much too impetuous to think herself in command, “we’ve got a goa’uld to stop.” O’Neill waved for the ponies to follow as he led SG-1 out of Town Hall. As the quite large and exceptionally strange group moved out, they were joined by a sixth pony.

“Hey Cheerilee,” said Carter to the new addition to their party.

“Hello, Sam,” said Cheerilee. “Are all of you heading back to the library?” Cheerilee scrutinized the group, ending up with an overall look of confusion, backing up the disbelief in her voice.

“Why would we be going to the library? That place is only for eggheads; we’re going on an awesome quest to stop Nightmare Moon,” asserted Rainbow Dash.

Cheerilee, one of the ‘eggheads’ who enjoyed the library, snorted at Rainbow Dash. “We can’t stop Nightmare Moon if we don’t get to the library quickly. You see—”

One of those glints that never seemed to lead to anything remotely good appeared in Rainbow Dash’s eyes. “I’ve got it!” she said, slamming one hoof onto the other; the gesture made much more sense when it was a fist slamming into an open palm, but O’Neill had long ago quit questioning the cultural overlap between Earth and alien cultures. Rainbow Dash continued, “that Twilight Sparkle must be an agent of Nightmare Moon! She sure knew enough about it!”

“Wait, that’s not—”

Before anyone could stop her, Rainbow Dash had dashed off, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake. Applejack reacted first, sighing as she bolted off after Rainbow Dash. The other ponies, save Cheerilee, followed suit, heading towards the library at a full gallop. Jack came up short, having also started to run for the library, when he realized that Cheerilee wasn’t following. He stopped at the door and turned to her. “Aren’t you coming? We really could use the help,” he said, tilting his head in confusion.

Cheerilee shook her head sadly. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but what you just did to that banister, she barely noticed it. And she tossed the Royal Guards around like ragdolls.” Cheerilee shivered a little. “I’m just not cut out for that sort of thing.”

“You don’t have to fight her,” said Jack in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. “But we could use another ‘egghead’ to help with the research.”

Cheerilee chuckled hollowly at Jack’s use of Rainbow Dash’s word. “You have five mares that can read Equestrian perfectly well. Even Daniel and Teal’c can figure out if a book is about the elements or not. You don’t need me there.” Cheerilee stepped back and gestured into Town Hall. “They need me, though.”

Jack looked past Cheerilee and saw the three fillies who he had so recently tried to cheer up. While it was true they were no longer frightened, worry and apprehension were on their faces clear as day. Applebloom was being tended to by her brother, but the other two looked lost and alone. “Fine, go play with the kiddies while we save the world,” said Jack. He couldn’t help but break the tense moment with some levity.

“Thank you,” said the now smiling Cheerilee as the two parted.

In a way, Jack was happy that Cheerilee stayed behind. It was partly that he was glad to know the foals were being looked after by a trustworthy pony. Most of it, though, was that he wanted to avoid bringing ponies into a firefight. It said a lot that the five, well six counting Twilight Sparkle, ponies had been so calm in the face of it all. O’Neill didn’t think they’d keep it up for long, though.

The fillies had been scared witless, and Cheerilee had looked for a way out. Even so, there had been no bloodshed, and nobody was actually hurt through the whole encounter. Sure, the guards were dazed, but by the time Jack had left, they were already getting back on their hooves. He just didn’t think they’d deal well with the bloodshed that a confrontation with the goa’uld would surely bring.

O’Neill was still trying to think up ways to ditch the ponies when SG-1 made it to the library. He could hear Twilight talking inside through the open windows. “... six Elements of Harmony,” she was saying, “but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery.”

“Howdy folks, enjoying story time?” asked Jack as he burst through the door with Carter, Daniel, and Teal’c in tow.

“You found it?” asked Daniel hopefully. “Where was it?”

“It was, uh, under ‘E,’” said Twilight as her already purple cheeks reddened.

“Oh,” said Daniel, “I guess that was the obvious place to start.”

A silent moment passed over the group when something clicked in Jack’s mind. “Daniel,” he said in an annoyed deadpan, “‘E’ is an English letter. How could it have been under ‘E’ if they have a different written language?”

“Well, it turns out modern Equestrian is basically English,” said Daniel, who was slightly flustered at having been caught but enjoying the moment nonetheless. “It’s pretty much a direct cypher, but we figured you were glad for the excuse to not research with us. Plus, it was pretty funny.”

“We? Us?” asked Jack. He turned and said, “You were in on this, Carter?”

“Yes, sir,” said Carter with a wry grin.

“Et tu, Teal’c?”

“Indeed,” said Teal’c, “though I believe we have more pressing matters at the moment.”

O’Neill glared at Teal’c for a moment more before silently ceding the point. “OK, so where are these... things?” After a moment he added, “And just what do they do anyway?”

“Well, I don’t really know what they do,” said Twilight, “nopony does. They haven’t been seen for centuries, and the last pony to use them was Princess Celestia. But, this book says that their last known location was the Palace of the Royal Pony Sisters.”

“Sir, that’s where the Gate was,” said Carter. “We may have even seen the Elements while we were there. On the other hand, if they were last seen near the Stargate, someone could have taken them through.”

“Either way,” said Daniel, “we should head there soon. General Hammond will probably want to be told about what’s happened.”

“There’re more of ya’?” asked Applejack.

At almost the same time, Rarity asked, “What exactly is a ‘Stargate?’”

“How can you talk to somepony who’s on a different planet?” whispered Fluttershy, adding, “If you don’t mind telling me, that is,” as she ducked her head down, hiding her face behind her mane.

“And what in the hay did you do to Nightmare Moon back in Town Hall?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“We don’t exactly have time to explain all of that,” said Daniel. “How about we tell you on the way to the Palace?”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” said Pinkie Pie cheerfully as she bounced out the door.

Chapter 8

“So you’re telling me,” said Rarity through occasional pants, “that just by turning the Stargate, you can simply step between worlds?”

“Basically,” Carter said. She was breathing only slightly more easily than Rarity. “Though it’s much more complicated than that. The Gate is actually a superconducting ring made—”

“Carter, no one wants to get a technical description of the gate right now,” O’Neill snapped.

“Actually, I would love to hear how it works,” Twilight Sparkle said in a remarkably chipper tone.

“Look,” Applejack said, “Ah think we’ve got some bigger issues to deal with than the specifics of how they got here. Now, why don’t y’all tell us how you deal with these ‘goa’uld’ thingies?”

Jack chose not to answer, hoping that Daniel would take the initiative; he was generally the best at delivering hard truths. While all the members of SG-1 were acclimated to the use of deadly force, especially when it was applied to the goa’uld, the ponies didn’t seem likely to handle the idea all that well.

“We kill them,” Teal’c said. Unfortunately for Jack, Daniel was not the member of SG-1 who answered the question. O'Neill looked hopefully around at the ponies while he ran. What he saw made him bury his head in his hand at Teal'c's lack of tact. Each of the six ponies' irises had shrunk to the size of a very small thing, leaving their eyes pure white orbs with pinpricks of black, the color of the irises all but invisible.

Rarity stopped in her tracks, drawing an exaggerated gasp and pulling out a sofa, presumably from the same place Pinkie stored anything, onto which she feinted. Fluttershy froze up entirely, every limb seeming to lock in place. Her mouth was agape in horror, complementing her eyes disturbingly well.

“You wha—?” Twilight shouted just before tripping over her hooves and sliding face-first along the ground.

Applejack stumbled a bit, but caught herself as she stopped with the other ponies. “Wha?” she asked, unable to put together even a full word. “Why would you do that?” For her part, Rainbow Dash stared back at SG-1 in bewilderment and disgust, slamming into a tree. She slid down the trunk to land next to Pinkie Pie, who was just sort of sitting there. Compared to her normally bubbly nature, the gloom which hung over Pinkie sent shivers down O'Neill's spine.

“They don't really give us much of a choice,” Daniel said. Jack was surprised at his control; for all the goa'uld had taken from Daniel, he still was able to bury his hatred when it was necessary. More surprising was Jack's own ability to bite his tongue; a few choice words on the value of a goa'uld life had nearly passed his lips.

“They bring their fates upon themselves,” Teal'c said, doing nothing to spare the shocked ponies. “As we have told you, they commit many evils across the galaxy, sparing no one. They do not deserve to be shown the mercy they refuse to give others.”

Jack decided that this was a good moment to try and send off the ponies. If he couldn't convince them that it was too dangerous for them to go after Nightmare Moon, and he had been trying, he figured he might be able to scare them off. O'Neill couldn't help but be aware of the irony in the situation; he was playing the part of the Nox or the Tollan, trying to tell a younger and less wise race that they were treading into dangerous ground.

“Look, kids,” O'Neill said, “it's gotta be done. Even if we do find the Elements, then what? We've only shifted the problem forward another thousand years, assuming the things even work after being lost for a millennium. The only thing we can do is to take her out.”

“Trust me,” Daniel said with earnest sadness in his voice, “the kindest thing you can do for someone who's been taken by a goa'uld is to kill them before they are forced to do anything else.”

“There ain't no way I'm buyin' that,” Applejack said. “It ain't right to kill nopony, no matter what.” Applejack stomped her hoof to punctuate her words and snorted contemptuously at SG-1.

Behind her, Fluttershy nodded in assent. The smile on her face held a mixture of pride and the special brand of self-righteousness reserved for when one knows that they hold the moral high ground. “That's right,” Fluttershy said meekly, “death is the saddest thing to happen to anypony. There's nothing that could be worse than having somepony else,” she shuddered slightly and withdrew behind her mane before continuing, “kill you.”

“Of course there's something worse than being killed,” Daniel cried. “Death is fleeting, a moment of pain before it's all over. Even if it's a lingering death, a long and painful one, what the goa'uld do to a person is so much worse. The hosts of the goa'uld wish for death; the least we can do is to grant them that one small mercy.”

“I can't believe that there isn't another option,” Twilight said. “Surely you've at least tried to reason with the goa'uld, or to find a way to force them out of their... host.” Twilight seemed uncomfortable with the idea of the goa'uld taking over somebody, as she should have been.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, having unstuck her face from the tree, “you said you can make machines that are nearly as cool as me; you have to be able to make something to get rid of one of those goa'uld things.” Rainbow Dash's bold words, as well as Twilight's cutting tone, lifted the pallor which had dimmed Pinkie Pie's countenance.

“The last group we met who could remove a goa'uld was wiped out by them,” Jack said wryly. He didn't care that he was ignoring the fact that the Asgard could probably remove a symbiote at least as well as the Tollan. He knew that getting the ponies to come to terms with what was going to happen was the best way to make them leave. Besides, he never had much patience for anyone who suggested showing the goa'uld mercy.

“And the last time we tried to negotiate with them, one of them used it as an opportunity to try and annihilate us and to kill one of her rivals,” Carter added. Jack was glad that he didn't hear any sadness in her voice; he'd been brusque when he threw the fate of the Tollan people at the ponies, but had realized that it was still probably fresh in Carter's mind. She had had a thing with Nareem, after all.

“You mean to tell me that you feel you have no choice but to kill Nightmare Moon,” Rarity asked deliberately. At some point she had gotten off of her sofa and hidden it away somewhere.

“Yes,” Teal'c answered.

“Well then,” Rarity countered, “it seems clear to me that we shall have to accompany you in order to stop such a terrible thing from happening.” O'Neill looked around at the ponies to see them all nodding, some sagely, some vehemently. He massaged the bridge of his nose with his fingers, sunglasses having been put away hours ago.

“Fine,” came Jack's begrudging reply, “but you'd better be warned that it won't be pretty.”

“Don't be silly, Colonel O'Neill,” Rarity said with a subtle edge to her voice, “it will be beautiful simply by my presence.” She tossed back her mane and began to trot along towards the Everfree Forest with her nose in the air. It seemed, to O'Neill, that she had forgotten to exaggerate her exhaustion. The other ponies quickly followed her lead; Pinkie Pie even bounced along with a snooty air.

Sighing, O'Neill followed along with the rest of SG-1 over the gentle hills which were now bathed in bright moonlight. He was quickly resigning himself to babysitting the ponies; hopefully Nightmare Moon would take some time to consolidate her power before attacking. At least then the six mares would have time to give up on the Elements and the SGC would be able to send some help. If they could get tranquilizers, the ponies couldn't even complain about mistreatment of interplanetary despots.

Silence reigned, broken only by hoof- and footfalls, breathing, and the clacking of various pieces of SG-1's equipment against their vests. O'Neill used the time to clear his head, losing himself in the monotony of the run. He also considered how to deal with Nightmare Moon. Certainly the Elements of Harmony would be extremely useful if they could find them, assuming they were even in the Palace and still worked. As much as he'd argued against it, imprisoning a goa'uld for a millennium would be a blessing.

On the other hand, he had to assume that the Elements weren't available. They also didn't have any subsonic weapons to use on her, and he doubted he had the time to MacGyver up a bow and arrow as he had on the Nox's planet. Sure, everyone had their combat knives, but O'Neill had only ever seen a goa'uld beaten in hand-to-hand when they were without any technological advantage. In this case, Nightmare at least had her shield device, and a way to generate bolts of electricity; stabbing her with knives seemed to be a no-go.

If they were lucky, a Zat blast would incapacitate her, but taking the goa'uld by surprise would be tricky indeed. They always had their C4, but then they would have to lure Nightmare Moon out to wherever they set their trap, and even the haughtiest System Lords would be unlikely to fall for such deception.

So caught up in his musings was O'Neill that he didn't notice that the ponies had stopped. He only became cognizant of the fact as he ran right by them. Realizing that he was now in the lead, O'Neill slowed to a jog and turned to look at them. Some conversation he hadn't been paying much attention to led all six ponies to say in unison, “... the Everfree Forest!” Their voices quavered a bit.

Jack stopped running; Daniel, Carter, and Teal'c had all stopped with the ponies. “What?” Jack exclaimed. He looked over the ponies in confusion. They had been so gung-ho to come with SG-1 to face Nightmare Moon, but entering the forest made them balk. Maybe their boldness had waned, or perhaps they had only now realized the enormity of their undertaking. A faint glimmer of hope appeared in Jack's mind. Maybe, just maybe, the ponies would turn back.

“Wheee! Let's go!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she ran forward into the forest.

“Yes, let's,” Rarity said as she followed Pinkie. O'Neill rubbed the bridge of his nose, shaking his head as he did. Jack turned and headed into the forest, not needing to see that everyone was following the path; the sound created by hooves and boots striking the ground was more than enough for him.

O'Neill shivered as he crossed over the forest's threshold, though the difference in temperature wasn't as sharp as it had been during the day. Even so, he could see that everyone was affected by the shift. The unsettling air was added to by the appearance of the forest itself. In the day, it had been basically the same as any other forest on any world. There were trees, grasses, dead leaves, rocks, and other forest-y things.

The night, though, brought deep shadows and made the forest downright creepy. The thick trunks of trees were gnarled and knotted, their irregular shapes casting odd images in the bright moonlight. The humid air added to the claustrophobia-inducing closeness of the trees. Though they followed a path, it was in the early stages of overgrowth.

At O'Neill's signal, three beams of light sprung to life. Whereas the moonlight had been enough to travel by in the open fields, the tree cover had blocked much of it. SG-1's flashlights dispelled some of the gloom, or at least pushed it far back from the path. Twilight and Rarity took the cue from SG-1 and lit magical light sources above their horns. The combined effect was that the trail was awash in light, though the surrounding dark became relatively deeper.

“Twilight,” Carter said from the back of the group, “can you tell me why the weather changed as we entered the forest?”

“It's because,” Rainbow Dash interjected in a spooky, warbling tone, “the Everfree Forest is filled with rogue weather!” Carter flipped her flashlight up at Rainbow Dash, who stopped waving her forelegs in a spooky motion in order to shield her eyes from the light.

“What do you mean, 'rogue weather?'” Carter asked. O'Neill felt his heart sink. He'd never actually told Carter how the ponies controlled the weather, and had hoped that he could avoid the topic until after the current crisis had passed. Maybe if he was lucky, Rainbow Dash would avoid actually going into specifics.

“Well,” Rainbow Dash said, “for some reason we can't seem to shape the weather over the Forest. In here, the clouds move on their own!” Rainbow Dash zipped to the front of the group and landed on the ground. From a crouched position, she stalked at O'Neill and Teal'c. “Some ponies say that in the Everfree, the animals look after themselves and plants grow without earth ponies to guide them!”

“Whoopdie doo,” Jack said, twirling his pointer finger in circles to show exactly how enthralled he was in Rainbow Dash's tale. He and Teal'c brushed right on by her as they continued down the path, which had recently wound its way onto a ledge.

“The scariest part is that nopony knows how or why this happens,” Rainbow Dash continued unperturbed. A wicked smile alighted on her face as she stalked towards Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy.

Applejack rolled her eyes at Rainbow Dash's performance and said, “Come on Rainbow, we don't have time for this.” O'Neill found himself liking Applejack more and more as time went on, even if she could be a stick in the mud.

“And do you know why?” Rainbow Dash asked, ignoring Applejack's words. The four mares cowered in terror at Rainbow Dash's telling. Behind them, Carter dropped to a knee and leveled her gun away from the cliff face on which the trail rain. At the same time, Teal'c hefted his staff weapon and scanned the path ahead of the group.

“She is nearby,” Teal'c said. O'Neill followed suit, training his gun on a random point on the horizon. Daniel, slow on the uptake, scrambled for his pistol.

“What's goin' on, y'all?” Applejack asked hesitantly as she noticed SG-1 readying themselves.

“Because,” Rainbow Dash continued, “nopony who's ever gone into the forest has ever come out!” Rainbow Dash lept at the quivering mares, eliciting a chorus of screams. The four frightened mares all jumped into the air, clutching one another in fear. Rainbow Dash back-winged into a hover, a giggling fit beginning to overcome her.

Carter had just started to answer Applejacks question when a nearly transparent purple mist darted away from the ledge. For a heartbeat, nothing happened.

“Away from the edge,” Carter shouted as she jumped back towards the cliff face. Her words didn't carry far; a thunderous crack filled the air as rock and stone broke apart, the ground beneath them shattering violently.

As if by instinct, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy took to the air. The four landbound ponies plummeted down the slope below.

“Come on, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash shouted as she dove for the falling ponies. Fluttershy was right on her tail, her normal hesitancy lost amid the danger and immediacy of the situation.

SG-1, for its part, was lucky. O'Neill and Teal'c had been beyond the collapsed region while Daniel was behind it. Carter's quick thinking had put her close enough to the cliff face that a thin shelf of rock supported her.

“Carter,” called Jack, “you alright?”

“For the moment, sir,” Carter called back. “Daniel and I may need some help getting across, though.” Below, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had already caught Pinkie Pie and Rarity and were going back for Twilight, who was hanging dangerously off of the cliff, and Applejack, who had managed to stop her fall.

“Shimmying across won't work, then?” O'Neill asked calmly.

“It might, but it'd be risky. You don't happen to have rope on you, do you?”

“You know, I keep thinking that we should start packing some for missions, but my request has been tied up in the bureaucracy for ages.”

“That was awful,” Sam said sourly. O'Neill's grin of victory was cut short as Rainbow Dash soared up to SG-1.

“You guys alright?” Rainbow Dash asked. She and Fluttershy had already brought Twilight safely to the ground below.

“Yup,” O'Neill said, “though if you could give us a bit of help getting Carter and Daniel across the gap, we'd appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Rainbow Dash said with no lack of pride. In short order, Carter and Daniel had crossed the gap with Rainbow Dash acting as their safety. “So, what's the plan now?” she asked once SG-1 regrouped on solid ground.

“Daniel, give Rainbow your walkie talkie,” Jack ordered. Daniel did so, handing it to the pegasus who cradled it in her hooves. “This is a communication device. Make sure this knob is pointing to these two straight lines,” O'Neill said while indicating the number eleven on the frequency dial. “Then, you can hear us talk through it whenever we want to send you a message. If you have to send one to us, just press this big button here and then talk. It's probably easiest if you give it to Twilight or Rarity, so make sure to explain it to them too.

“We'll continue along the path we took from the Palace, and you all can keep heading there from where you fell. Hopefully we'll all meet up before Nightmare Moon causes too much more trouble. Understand?” Jack asked in his best commanding tone.

“Yes, sir!” Rainbow Dash said, even giving a salute with one foreleg. She zipped down to the other ponies. In less than a minute, SG-1's radios crackled to life as the ponies successfully managed to send a message, though it was impossible to understand when all six of them were talking into the walkie talkie at once.

“Alright, everybody,” Jack said over the radio, “let's get a move on!”

Chapter 9

Six ponies trotted through the Everfree Forest. Even with the full moon and two light spells, the forest was dark and shadowed. The gloom of drooping tree limbs and the dank air of rotting logs and dead leaves were omnipresent, filling the ponies’ eyes and nostrils. The damp air surrounded them, making the already warm night feel uncomfortably clammy as well. All these discomforts were dwarfed by the fact that it was now over an hour since the sun should have risen, and yet it had not done so, proving that Nightmare Moon had followed through on her threat and managed to overcome Princess Celestia, halting the sun below the horizon.

It was all the more surprising, then, that the six ponies were in high spirits as they travelled the forest. Rainbow Dash, in particular, was justifiably proud of her recent exploits, a fact she made known by recounting the tale to her companions.

“And then whoosh!” she said, zipping over the heads of the other five. For the most part, their expressions showed disinterest. Pinkie Pie seemed enthralled with the tale, her eyes the size of saucer plates and a smile nearly as big as the two put together. She swooned and leapt for joy at the proper places, enjoying the telling of the tale, supplemented by Rainbow Dash’s acrobatics, more than the tale itself; she had just lived it after all.

Twilight Sparkle, on the other hand, was showing the great extent of her patience by not casting a silencing spell on Rainbow Dash. It seemed to her that she was the only pony who really grasped the gravity of the situation. The Princess was in danger, Nightmare Moon had begun her eternal night, and Rainbow Dash was taking time to showboat. For all their strangeness, and their unpleasant desire to kill, Twilight found herself missing the humans. They, at least, knew that speed was of the essence.

“I doubled back with Fluttershy to save you, getting there just in the nick of time. After that, it wasn’t too hard to go and save Carter and Daniel from falling. Then, O’Neill gave me this,” Rainbow Dash said, showing the walkie talkie. She had insisted on holding onto the device, securing it in her hooves the whole time. Rainbow Dash had felt that, since O’Neill had entrusted the device to her, it was her duty to keep it safe. “Now, where would you be without a totally awesome friend like me?”

Rainbow Dash hovered just above the ground, only slightly higher than her friends. Behind her, Pinkie Pie cheered the climax of the story while the other ponies were simply glad that it was over. Twilight, for her part, cringed slightly when Rainbow named herself as one of her friends. For as much as the Princess had instructed Twilight to make some friends, she still would have rather done this on her own. It was only SG-1’s presence, and their proclamation of deadly intent towards Nightmare Moon, which had kept Twilight from trying to ditch the five ponies with whom she found herself travelling.

“Yes, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said with an annoyed edge, “I was there. I know how it happened.”

“And wasn’t it awesome?” Rainbow Dash prompted. Her grin was wide and earnest, a fact which didn’t mollify Twilight in the least.

“Yeah, sure,” Twilight said with a sharper edge. “But what’s really important right now is that we figure out how we’re going to find the Elements.”

“Well, duh,” Pinkie Pie said from the background, “we’re going to the Palace.” Her gigantic eye roll and exasperated tone served to show that she didn’t see what fault Twilight was finding with the plan.

Twilight mentally staggered from Pinkie’s obvious statement. She was sure that others could tell, for she had left her jaw working even as it had nothing to say. “But,” Twilight said, “we don’t know what they look like, and we know Nightmare Moon is out there somewhere. She’s tried to stop us once already! We don’t have time to be telling stories or even talking like this.”

Twilight flailed her forelegs about, gesticulating wildly in order to emphasize her point. The tone of her voice was one that, had he been there, Spike would have recognized as a sign to just do what Twilight wanted and give her a wide berth. Her new friends, though, weren’t aware of this, and instead chose to counter her.

“Twilight,” Applejack said, “ya know that you’re the one in front, right?” Twilight nodded back at her with a piercing glare. “Well, that means that you’re the one settin’ the pace. Besides her bein’ a bit annoying, Ah don’t see how Rainbow was slowin’ us down. Honestly, I didn’t really mind the distraction,” Applejack offered. Her expression was both imploring and honest.

It was a good thing that Applejack acted so quickly, for Rainbow Dash’s body language spoke volumes on its own. It was quite apparent to her that Twilight thought Rainbow Dash was the one slowing the group; being called slow was not an insult that Rainbow Dash would suffer lightly. Having been given a chance to reflect, and her outrage being assuaged by Applejack rightly calling Twilight out on the insult, Rainbow Dash chose a different line of conversation.

“C’mon, Twi,” Rainbow Dash said softly, “I told you before that I’d never leave Ponyville hanging. If I thought we’d get there any faster, of course I’d stop. But it’s not like we’re going at a full gallop or anything, so I figured I’d lighten the mood a bit. Besides,” she said, shifting back to her normal, brash tone, “I was really awesome back there.” Rainbow Dash shot into a loop, coming to nearly exactly where she’d started. “Now come on, let’s get going.”

Twilight found it hard to argue with Rainbow Dash’s logic, though it still didn’t sit right with her. It wasn’t worth spending the time mulling over, however. The five ponies who weren’t flying trotted off after Rainbow Dash at a quick pace. Their progress was immediately halted by a loud crackle of sound which burst out of the walkie-talkie.

All six jumped in fright at the sudden, alien noise, reminiscent of candy wrappers being crumpled by unicorn magic. Rainbow Dash caught herself quickly, grabbing up the human device before it could hit the ground. Pinkie Pie was pounding her chest above her heart with her foreleg while Fluttershy peeked out from behind Applejack, who had already lowered her front two hooves back to the ground, having reared up at the noise. As O’Neill’s voice broke through the static, Twilight and Rarity recast their light spells.

“Ponies, come in. This is O’Neill. Do you copy? Over.” O’Neill’s voice said. The static disappeared as O’Neill’s message ended, much to the relief of the gathered ponies.

“Ponies, come in,” Pinkie Pie copied, even adding in a mostly terrible impersonation of O’Neill’s voice. “This is O’Neill. Do you copy?” Breaking out of her impersonation, Pinkie continued, “Yup, we do copy. Or, at least I copy. Do you want the others to copy also? It seems like it’d take a lot of time, and Twilight’s already not happy about how long we’ve taken. Over.” Pinkie screwed up her face into a confused contortion.

Rainbow Dash swooped down and stole back the device which she hadn’t even noticed Pinkie take. The crackle of the static returned as another message from the humans was delivered. “Umm, that won’t be necessary,” it was Daniel’s voice which came through the device this time. His voice carried disbelief, almost certainly directed at Pinkie Pie’s remarkably silly response. The disconcerting crackling of the static continued as Daniel kept speaking. “We’re just checking in, to make sure you’re OK. Have you run into any problems? Over.”

“Nope,” Rainbow Dash said. “Well, Twilight was being a bit crabby, but we’re past that—”

“Hey,” Twilight shouted, incensed by Rainbow Dash’s comment. She ripped the walkie talkie out of Rainbow Dash’s grip, the device enclosed in the telltale aura of magic. “Everything’s been fine, Doctor Jackson,” Twilight said. She released the button and waited for a response, though none came immediately.

“Pssst, Twilight. You have to say over.” Pinkie Pie whispered.

“What? Why?” asked Twilight. To this, Pinkie simply shrugged and tilted her head as if to indicate that she didn’t know and that that was simply the way it was. With a sigh, Twilight clicked the button and, with uncertainty, said, “Over?”

“Good,” said Daniel, “tell us immediately if anything happens. Also, we’ll check in every ten minutes, just in case. Got that? Over.”

“Yeah, got it,” Twilight said. “Over.”

“Over and out,” Pinkie Pie whispered intensely. This time, Twilight decided to ignore her desire to question Pinkie Pie and just go with it. Any other time and she would have dropped whatever she was doing to figure out the why of Pinkie Pie, but there were more pressing matters.

There was no more communication from the humans after that, which was as much as could be expected. The mares did not, however, continue on in silence. Talking with the humans reminded Applejack of what the aliens had said before they entered the Everfree.

Killing, of course, was against Equestrian law and basic morality. Even the Royal Guards, who were armed with lethal weapons and trained in combat, shied away from taking life. None of the ponies could even begin to understand how SG-1 would resort so quickly to a lethal course of action, much less how the aliens could live with themselves.

Applejack felt the need to break the silence which had reigned since the end of SG-1’s communication. “Ah know it ain’t something any of us want to think about,” she said,” but what are we gonna do if we can’t get the Elements and make ‘em work?”

“What’re you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked from above. “Of course we’re going to find them. We’ve got my girl Twilight here, and she’s the biggest egghead I’ve ever seen. If she can’t find the Elements, then nopony can.” Twilight shuddered slightly as Rainbow Dash pulled her in with the crook of her foreleg.

Drawing back from the invasion of her personal space, Twilight said, “I hope you’re right, but I really don’t know that much about it. Right now, all of you know just as much about them as I do. Besides, if Nightmare Moon shows up at the Palace, I don’t think she’ll wait for us to figure the Elements out.”

“Even so, we can’t let them just kill her.” A hint of disgust entered Rarity’s voice as she referred to the humans and grew significantly on the subject of killing.

“‘course not,” Applejack said. “All Ah mean is, we should figure out what it is we plan to do. Maybe we could hog tie her or... somethin’.” Applejack received a second of blank stares. During the moment, a soft mumbled statement was made, though it went unheard as Twilight Sparkle spoke again.

“I don’t think we could trap her, I mean, she was able to... do... something to the Princess.” Twilight said. “Besides, she can turn into that purple mist stuff.”

Once again, a quiet mumbled statement was made. This time it was drowned out by Pinkie Pie as she said, “Maybe we could throw her a party. Then she’d stop being such a meanie pants. I mean, Twilight loved her party, right?” Twilight’s expression conveyed whatever sentiment lies furthest from agreement, but Pinkie went on regardless. “So all we have to do is get to the palace first, and then set up a surprise party. I should have enough on me for a small fiesta, though we might be able to stretch it into a bash if we try really hard. Do you think you could make streamers out of vines, Rarity?”

“Well, of course I could, but I don’t see how it would help,” Rarity said.

“It would let us put up more decorations, silly. Streamers don’t go very well in my party cannon, so it’s usually better to hang them by hoof.”

Rarity rolled her eyes at Pinkie. She knew the party pony could be eccentric, but had never spent so much time in conversation with the mare. It was a truly surreal experience to try and understand Pinkie Pie’s leaps in logic; it was as if she and Pinkie thought on two completely different planes.

It was in this moment of thought that Rarity heard Fluttershy mumble something which she couldn’t quite catch. “What was that, dear?” Rarity asked, drawing the group’s attention to Fluttershy.

With the full attention of five mares focused on her, Fluttershy could barely find the will to speak. She never did well in the spotlight; old foalhood experiences with mockery and embarrassment left her frightful of attention, lest it turn to laughter at her expense. It was only the sight of Rainbow Dash’s reassuring smile that gave Fluttershy the confidence to speak. Even so, she could barely raise her voice above an audible threshold, mostly because she knew that what she had to say would certainly be ill received.

“Maybe,” Fluttershy said, “they’re right.”

“What?” came the chorus of replies. Not everypony spoke the word, necessarily, but their faces all shouted the question. Not only that a pony would favor killing as a plan, but that Fluttershy would be the one to do it.

Seeing that she was already in impossibly deep, Fluttershy decided to just keep talking. Maybe if she could explain herself then the others wouldn’t make fun of her for it. “I... um... was just thinking that maybe Daniel, or Doctor Jackson, was right.” Fluttershy withdrew as she spoke, not into any particular thing, but rather from everything around her. She simply seemed to draw in towards herself. “About it being kinder to... put Nightmare Moon down...

“I guess,” she continued, “it’s like when a pet is unable to even eat on their own. Sometimes, if they’re in a lot of pain, it’s kinder to end it quickly rather than force them to suffer.” Fluttershy personally hated euthanizing pets, though she did see the need for it. On those occasions when she was treating particularly old pets, it was sometimes the only kindness that could be shown.

The shock of Fluttershy’s statement was felt most heavily by Rainbow Dash, who felt betrayed that her friend would suggest such a thing. “Are you saying you’re OK with doing... that to another pony?” she asked a little more heatedly than she had intended. To Rainbow Dash’s surprise, Fluttershy didn’t immediately retreat, but rather spoke clearly and calmly.

“No, of course not,” Fluttershy said in a voice quite similar to the one she used to explain euthanization to a pet’s owner. It was one of the tones of voice she hated the most, but that was only for the fact that she used it almost exclusively to deliver bad news. “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider it. I mean, if what the humans were saying is true, then it actually might be worse to be alive like that than...” Her voice trailed off. As familiar as she was with the speech, and as much as she’d dealt with death, and even the killing of animals, this was something totally separate.

“You just can’t do that to a pony. It’s not right,” insisted Rainbow Dash. By this time the group had come to a full stop just before a large crag.

Applejack humphed as she began to speak. “As much as Ah don’t like to admit it, Ah think Fluttershy may have a point.”

“Now you want to kill her too?” Rainbow Dash asked pointedly.

“Hold on there, Ah didn’t say that. All Ah meant is that she has a bit of a point.”

“Surely you must be joking,” Rarity said. Her normally pristine mask of aristocracy broke along with her voice. She was afraid of herself; some part of her was entirely convinced of Fluttershy’s argument.; of course it would be better to give up some unnamable part of herself, innocence perhaps, to rescue some poor soul from an eternal torment. The rest of her, every fiber of her being which remained true to itself, revolted against the idea. It was just too much to even contemplate.

“That wasn’t a joke, silly,” Pinkie Pie said. “It wasn’t even funny. Now pratfalls, those are—” Pinkie slipped on a banana peel, having only just devoured the fruit which it had contained, and fell on her rump. She giggled a desperate giggle as she looked around. The others, however, were not in the mood and none laughed at the meta-humor. All Pinkie knew was that the whole conversation was extremely uncomfortable and not funny in the least. She just had to find a way to break the tension and move onto a happier topic.

As things stood, it seemed unlikely that the others would change topics on their own. Providence was kind to Pinkie Pie, however, as it was just then that the human device burst to life once more. The unearthly noise shattered the flow of the unpleasant conversation.

“Come in, ponies. Are you there? Over,” O’Neill said via the device.

There was a moment of confusion as the ponies switched gears from their dark conversation. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash remembered that she was the one with the walkie talkie, having stolen it back from Twilight earlier.

“Yeah, we’re here,” Rainbow Dash said darkly. “Oh, uh, over!” she added hastily.

Evidently, O’Neill could not discern Rainbow Dash’s tone through the device as he simply said, “Good to hear. Run into any trouble yet? Over.”

“Not really, we’ve just sort of been talking. And trotting. Over.”

“Excellent. We’ll check back in soon, and make sure to let us know if there’s any trouble. Over and out.” With that, the walkie talkie went dead and the six mares were on their way once more.

They found themselves at the bottom of a chasm. Cliffs rose up on both sides of the path, hemming in the ponies and increasing the claustrophobic feel of the forest. None were sure whether or not they should be thankful for the moon’s clear light which cut straight down through the near vertical gap between the cliffs. Above them, the brush rustled at the cliff’s edge. Rarity could have sworn she saw a figure watching them, but training her light spell on the spot revealed nothing. Her silent fears and reliefs were cut short by a sudden and massive roar from the other end of the chasm.

“A manticore!” Twilight shouted, her voice lost in the beast’s bellow as it pounced at them.

Interlude

Christopher Judge’s voice appears in your ear from seemingly nowhere. It says, “Previously on Stargate SG-1...”

Before your eyes, a series of images appear. Some are accompanied by voice-overs while others seem to be scenes which you have previously witnessed.

First, a scene of the briefing room is spliced with shots of the Palace of the Royal Pony Sisters while Daniel says, “Let nopony question their just and fair decrees.”

Jack’s voice sounds in response, as the image shifts to that of Ponyville as seen from the edge of the Everfree forest. “So, we have pony aliens...” An image lingers for a moment longer: a grey pegasus pushing a cloud across the sky.

A yellow filly in a large pink bow looks up at Jack and says, “You called us kids. Well, kids’re baby goats, and we ain’t goats. Ah’m a pony, and Twist here’s a pony also, so we’re foals, not kids.”

Cheerilee now looks confused as she says, “Are you saying you think this Luna was a real pony?”

One pony from a crowd of others calls out a question, “Where do you come from?”

Jack gives the obvious reply, “A little blue-green planet called Earth.” This shot now cuts to Daniel and Jack in Ponyville’s library.

“So, Daniel,” says O’Neill as Daniel stacks book on top of book. “Just some light reading before the party?” At the word party, the sound of noisemakers blares.

Pinkie Pie gives the fourth wall a big hug and says, “I know that this is off book, and everything, but it’s been sooooooo long since I’ve seen you all. I was starting to think you’d all forgotten about me. So then I threw this party, knowing that it’d have to be in the episode recap. I mean, who would skip this? That way, I knew I’d see you again!” The scene begins to transition away, but is wrenched back by Pinkie. “You’re leaving already? But I’ve got this really great prank planned out for Twilight!” The camera slams hard to the right, the sound of hooves sliding off plastic resounds, followed by the crash Pinkie makes when she falls onto the invisible ground of the fourth wall.

The new scene is foreshadowed by Twilight’s voice, “... everything points to Nightmare Moon returning tonight!” With a flash, Nightmare Moon appears; she cackles evilly.

Now, Twilight is addressing nine others in the library. “... six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery.”

“Wheee! Let's go!” Pinkie shouts as she runs into the Everfree Forest. The camera jerks back warily as she appears onscreen.

You next see an avalanche which separates the group along species lines. You then see a Manticore leap out from the shadows, followed by six voices shrieking.

“A manticore!” Twilight shouts.

The images have stopped. Once more, Christopher Judge’s voice cuts through the blackness. It says, “And now, the conclusion.”

The images disappear for a moment before you are flooded with familiar music.

Author's Note

The opening song with lyrics.

I'm glad to be back and writing; hopefully I can keep to a reasonable release schedule. I hope you've enjoyed this little bit of fun I wrote up as a reintroduction to what happened last summer.

Chapter 10

The six ponies scattered as the manticore landed in the midst of their group. Having missed its targets, the beast beat its wings, arresting its forward progress. Once more it bellowed, blind with rage as it tensed up. Its barbed tail rose, ready to strike at any moment, while it rested on its hind legs. The manticore leered at the ponies, unsettling them as they regrouped.

For a third time, it roared loud enough to loose pebbles from the surrounding cliff face and send birds flying from the trees. It swiped at the ponies menacingly as another, smaller flock of birds fled the trees further in the distance. A tense moment passed, filled only by the sound of ragged breath and frightened birds.

Suddenly, the manticore made another lunging attack at the ponies. It once more was left empty pawed. It stumbled after landing awkwardly. A few powerful wing beats allowed the manticore to steady itself.

The opening was all Rarity needed to act. She rushed in, letting her years of training take over. Suddenly, all those sweaty hours at the dojo didn’t seem so terrible. She planted her front left hoof half a length from the beast and allowed her momentum to pivot her around that point. Planting her other forehoof, Rarity unleashed a buck straight to the manticore’s snout. The already unbalanced creature was sent tumbling backwards.

A quick flick of her head realigned a stray strand of hair which had fallen out of its place in Rarity’s well maintained mane. “Well, that wasn’t so—”

Rarity was cut off by another cry from the manticore. Such was the cry’s ferocity that Rarity’s mane and tail were blown and tossed about as if by a strong gale. Rarity quickly retreated; she could have sworn that a small earthquake passed through the area at the same moment the manticore roared.

“Wait!” called Fluttershy as she saw Applejack already leaping into action. However, she was drowned out by the manticore. Even if she had been heard, nopony was willing to give the manticore a chance to gobble them up. Besides which, they needed to get past it to get to the palace.

Already, Applejack was swinging her lasso and charging the manticore. An expert snap of her neck sent the noose at manticore, cinching around its neck. The creature panicked. Years of rodeo practice let Applejack leap onto its back, using the lasso rope to stabilize herself. The manticore thrashed and bucked desperately as its eyes bulged and its irises shrank.

“Yee-haw!” shouted Applejack. “Get along, little doggie!” She managed to remain stable on the manticore, which began jumping about madly and pawing at the rope around its neck.

“Wait!” shouted Fluttershy once again, though everypony was too busy dealing with the manticore to listen. Suddenly, Applejack flew by Fluttershy, still holding the torn lasso in her mouth.

The dirt spurted up around Applejack as she landed on the soft earth and slid for a few lengths. Spitting out the rope she looked up at Rainbow Dash and said, “Your turn, partner.” Rainbow Dash silently saluted Applejack with a stern look on her face as she reared back in the air.

With a streak of rainbow, Rainbow Dash was off. From somewhere behind her, Fluttershy said, “Wait!” though the indignant command went unheeded. The much more troubling sound was the indescribable one which came from behind the manticore. What made Rainbow Dash pull up from her attack wasn’t the sound, per se, but rather what happened to the Manticore.

The beast was momentarily webbed in blue bolts of energy. It cried out once and then fell silent. The ponies watched in shocked silence as the beast crashed to the forest floor. Then, their eyes fell on the four forms behind it.

“You folks alright?” asked O’Neill as he walked past Teal’c, who holstered his Zat gun. To the ponies’ eyes, it was a strange folding device which resembled a snake, but it was colored too darkly to make out any further detail. The rest of SG-1 stepped out of the shadows after O’Neill, keeping their weapons trained on the downed manticore.

“What did you do!?” shouted Fluttershy, speeding past the other ponies. She flew right at Teal’c. O’Neill was shocked to see him flinch away from Fluttershy’s glare. “What did you do to that poor, defenseless creature?” Before anyone could react to the outburst, Fluttershy zipped over to the manticore and lifted one of its front paws revealing a thorn which was at least a foot long.

“It was just hurt and scared, and you... you... you did whatever it was you just did!” Fluttershy gingerly pulled the thorn out from the enormous paw and spat it out at Teal’c’s feet. “Now you say you’re sorry.”

“I have done the creature no permanent harm,” Teal’c said. He had recovered from Fluttershy’s stare, regaining his stoic demeanor. “It will be fine when it wakes, though that should take some time.” O’Neill was sure he heard some bit of smugness in Teal’c’s voice, though such emotions were completely unthinkable in the cheery fellow.

“Even so,” Fluttershy insisted, “you hurt it. And don’t you try to deny it. It was scared and hurt, and you didn’t even try to help it. So, apologize.” Her voice had grown icy and stern. Her sudden, dramatic shift in personality drew all eyes away from the thorn, which was now surrounded by the telltale aura of Nightmare Moon’s magic.

“A scared animal is often more dangerous than a belligerent one,” Teal’c said. “I have nothing for which I need to apologize.”

Fluttershy stomped in rage, though much of her anger was directed inwardly. She knew that Teal’c had a point, and that he was basically right. What he did to the manticore, the pain she had seen in its eyes as the blue magic surged around it, was just wrong. She couldn’t just let Teal’c off the hook for it, but the reasoning behind why it was wrong just wouldn’t come. Fluttershy simply glared at Teal’c while digging at the ground with her front hoof, wings flared.

“Whoa, there, Flutts,” said Rainbow Dash. She flew over to Fluttershy and landed beside her, draping a comforting wing over Fluttershy’s heaving barrel. “We can yell at them for it later, but we have to keep moving. Nightmare Moon could be lurking anywhere...” As Rainbow Dash trailed off, she led the somewhat becalmed Fluttershy back towards the group of ponies.

The thorn had completely dissolved now; in its place was a thick purple mist which blended into the shadows of the night.

Fluttershy broke away from Rainbow Dash and headed to the Manticore. “Fine,” she said. Her voice was now demure once more, but it gave no room for argument. “I just have to make sure this poor little guy is OK.” She bent her neck down and pressed her ear against the manticore, listening to its heartbeat, and then moved on to give the unconscious animal a quick checkup.

As Fluttershy began to work, O’Neill stepped to the fore of the human group and said, “OK, folks. The Palace is just a little ways over there,” he pointed in a vague direction, “so we should make it there in ten minutes if we move. Dash,” O’Neill said, “pop up above the trees to get some better bearings before we head out. Twilight, are there any other creatures we should worry about—”

Fluttershy’s cry pierced the night as the frightened mare found herself crouched behind Applejack almost instantly. “N-n-n-n-nightmare M-m-moon,” she whispered tremulously, pointing a hoof at the manticore’s prostrate form. Fluttershy’s proclamation, along with the suddenness of her flight, caught everyone assembled off guard.

“Where is she?” Rainbow Dash shouted. Twilight’s horn lit up as she started to channel magic, even before she knew what spell she would cast.

“Oh, silly, that’s not Nightmare Moon, that’s the manticore,” Pinkie Pie said. “Nightmare Moon is the big black pony who’s all mean and stuff. And I thought you were supposed to be good with animals.” Pinkie rolled her eyes and put a foreleg across Fluttershy’s shoulders as if to console her over her inability to identify a wild animal.

Teal’c advanced at the manticore cautiously; he primed his staff weapon, aiming it at the unconscious beast. As he drew closer to the manticore, Teal’c could begin to see the midnight coat of Nightmare Moon. A series of hand gestures relayed to O’Neill that Nightmare Moon was, in fact, there. Another step brought Teal’c close enough to see that she was still breathing, slowly and steadily.

O’Neill had the team advance, guns trained on the manticore, and therefore on Nightmare Moon. Teal’c then prodded Nightmare Moon with his staff. When she did not react to the prod, Teal’c knelt down to get a closer look.

“Colonel O’Neill,” Teal’c said, “she appears to be unconscious. I believe it was a Zat blast.”

From where he stood, O’Neill could see the gently heaving barrel of Nightmare Moon. “Good,” O’Neill said, “then we can deal with her quickly.” He looked at Teal’c and nodded. There wasn’t any reasonable way to capture her; O’Neill knew that after seeing her powers displayed multiple times. At least this way, the ponies would be safely out of danger and the planet liberated. They’d probably get over the whole killing thing eventually. Teal’c passed his staff into his left hand and drew his Zat gun once more.

“Wait, what’re you—?” was all Twilight was able to ask before Teal’c squeezed the Zat’s trigger. Blue energy lept from the weapon’s tip. As soon as the beam hit Nightmare Moon’s body, she became webbed in the blue energy; the black alicorn’s body seized for a moment. The blue energy rapidly dissipated and Nightmare Moon fell still.

“Well,” O’Neill said, “that was a bit anticlimactic.” As if the universe worked on dramatic timing, Nightmare Moon gasped her way back to life just as O’Neill spoke. If looks could kill, Jack would have been dead three times over from the glares he earned from his team.

“You have spoken earlier than was appropriate, O’Neill,” Teal’c said in a chastising tone.

“That’s not how you say it,” Pinkie said. “‘He spoke too soon.’ The way you said it was too long. All those words just gum up the joke. You could also work on the delivery,” she mused.

“Oh for the love of—” Jack said, swallowing at least one profanity. “She should be dead, right?” He looked at Carter, demanding an explanation. He was exasperated more than anything. For once, it had seemed like things would go well. Actually, things usually seemed like they would go just fine until it all hit the fan. Looking at it that way, this was all par for the course; it didn’t make Jack feel better, though.

Carter, still looking to be a mix of shocked and annoyed, knelt down to examine Nightmare Moon. Jack knew she was no doc Frasier, but he felt that, on some level, all scientists knew this sort of thing. A minute later, Carter had finished her inspection.

“Unconscious, Sir.” Carter said. I couldn’t guess for how long, though a usual Zat blast would leave her out somewhere around twenty minutes, I guess. It’s hard to tell with alien physiology.”

Jack considered. Assuming they had twenty minutes before Nightmare Moon woke up, they had two options. First, they could split up. Half of SG-1, and all of the ponies, could continue on to the Palace. Since killing Nightmare Moon seemed to be off the table, at least for the moment, they needed the Elements of Harmony pronto. The two who stayed behind could keep Zatting the goa’uld until... Well, until the Zat guns ran out of power.

That risked those left behind being overpowered. Nightmare Moon seemed prone to trickery; she could feign unconsciousness while preparing some sort of attack. Even if she didn’t, forests were generally more dangerous at night, and O’Neill didn’t like leaving half of the team behind to deal with a very angry goa’uld.

His other option was to press on, taking the twenty minutes to get a head start. That should give them enough time to dial the gate and get some specialized weapons, as well as more men. At the very least, it would give them a line of retreat should things go badly, though manual dialing wasn’t exactly going to do them well in an emergency.

“All right,” Jack said, “we’ll make a run for the Palace.”

“Sir,” Carter replied, nodding slightly.

“Wait. What? But... she...” Twilight stammered, clearly thrown for a loop. She began to hyperventilate and grind her teeth; if she wasn’t quickly losing her grip on sanity, Jack would have commended her on being able to do both at the same time.

Rarity walked over to Twilight and draped a hoof over her shoulders. “Come now, Twilight. A lady shouldn’t allow herself to act with poor manners. Besides, wouldn’t it be nice to get out of this dirty forest and into a nice palace?”

Twilight looked for all the world like she would very shortly explode at Rarity. After a second, though, she deflated and sighed. “I guess you’re right,” she said. “Thanks, Rarity. That O'Neill really grinds my gears.”

“Of course, dear. He is a bit of an unmannered boor.”

“Hey,” O’Neill interjected, “you know I can hear you, right?”

Rarity placed a hoof over her mouth in what O’Neill was sure was mock embarrassment. She said, “Oh my. I am ever so sorry; I thought you had already run off to the palace.” O’Neill stared for a moment before deciding that now was not the time for any sort of argument.

Putting on a fake smile he said, “You’re forgiven.” Jack pointed at the unconscious Nightmare Moon and said, “Goa’uld.” He pointed in the direction of the palace, “Magical artifacts.” He pointed once more towards the palace, “Run!” Carter and Teal’c took the lead and the others followed. O’Neill brought up the rear himself, though he was soon joined by a prancing Pinkie Pie.

“What’s up, Pepé?” O’Neill asked her.

Pinkie contorted herself into a rather impressive mimic of the Thinker pose, bouncing along on her tail, and said, “Well, I liked that you went with a smile back there. I just wanted to give you some pointers. For example, when you smile, you need to make sure your eyes get all crinkly or it looks fake.” To accentuate her point, Pinkie gave Jack a broad smile. She somehow, disturbingly, managed to crinkle her eyeballs instead of her eyelids. Jack stumbled at the sight, but smirked when he got Pinkie’s wordplay.

“You’re not quite there,” she said, “but I’m sure that you can do it if you keep working at it.” Pinkie bounced alongside Jack for a minute or two before asking, “Who’s Pepé?”

Chapter 11

The group burst out of the forest a few minutes and a mile later. For about twenty feet there was bare ground, save a covering of grass, which led to the deep chasm surrounding the Palace of the Royal Pony Sisters. Directly ahead of them stood the two posts where the rope bridge SG-1 had crossed on their way to Ponyville dangled uselessly. Beyond that, on the far side of the chasm, was where the ruins of the Palace lay. In the moonlight, which was no longer blocked by the Everfree Forest's canopy, the dilapidated structures appeared as ghostly edifices pocked by dark, shadowed crevices.

O'Neill stopped when he reached the front of the group. He had been trying to come up with a good way of crossing the gap since Pinkie had stopped yammering. Which meant he'd been thinking for the last two seconds, her stream of consciousness only pausing to marvel at the chasm and gawk at the Palace.

“Thoughts?” O'Neill asked of no one in particular. Before anyone could respond, the free end of the bridge rose into the air, dragged by Rainbow Dash. A few moments later, the bridge was secured to its moorings on the far side and Rainbow was proudly flying back to the group.

“No worries, Colonel. I tied up that bridge nice and tight,” Rainbow Dash said. Her statement was undercut by an ominous creaking.

“Perhaps I should go across and make sure your knots are secure,” Rarity suggested. “We wouldn't want to fall to our dooms twice in one night, now would we?”

“Heh, I guess you've got a point,” Rainbow said.

Rarity carefully, but quickly crossed the bridge, examining the ropes and wood as she went. Once on the other side, she turned her attention to the moorings.

After a moment, she gasped audibly. Rainbow, who had been shadowing her the whole time, flashed to attention. “What? Did I tie it wrong? Is it dangerous? Tell me!” she demanded.

“Oh, no. Your knot is perfectly strong. It's just that the grain of the wood and the weaving of the rope are completely misaligned. It's so garish.” Rarity lifted a hoof to her forehead, just below her horn, and gave an over-exaggerated grunt of disgust.

Rainbow Dash looked blankly at the drama queen for a moment before shaking her head and zipping back across. “Rarity says it's fine to cross. It's probably too much for all of you to go at once, though,” she added. Everyone nodded and quickly crossed to the Palace side of the chasm.

“Sir,” Carter said to Jack, holding up her wristwatch. It was clear what she meant. They had used up a lot of their head start. For a moment, Jack wondered why they never had to figure out how ancient artifacts worked while lounging in a mansion with all the time in the world. Maybe even a fishing pond nearby. He then realized that that was pretty much what Carter did when she wasn't on away missions, minus the lap of luxury bit. He was immediately glad that he didn't voice his feelings on this matter. Instead, he nodded at her and began with the issuing of orders.

“OK,” he said, not stopping his light jog towards the chamber wherein Carter and Teal'c had found to contain a very strange sculpture. In his experience, strange sculptures were either overpriced lawn ornaments or objects of unspeakable power. Since there was no lawn to be found inside the palace, he was banking on the latter. “We've got precious little time to figure out if the Elements are here, and what they do, and how to work them. Twilight, Carter, Daniel, that's your job. Applejack and Rainbow Dash, I want you two to come with me. We're going to dial up Earth and get some help. T, you take Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity and lookout for Nightmare Moon. I'm not expecting her to be terribly subtle when she comes after us again.” For once it looked like none of the ponies would question his orders. Such dreams appeared too good to be true, however.

“But Jackie,” said Pinkie Pie, “I wanna meet the other humans! Why can't I go with you to Earth?” She pouted and crossed her forelegs, plopping down on the ground.

Jack continued on, ignoring her antics. “One, we're not going to Earth, we're only going to talk to them. Two, dialing the gate requires strength, so Applejack and Rainbow are the best choices after Twilight, who is otherwise occupied. Besides, you and I are already such good friends that I want you to get to spend time with Teal'c. Can't you see how excited he is to go on patrol with you?” Jack glanced over at Teal'c, who looked as impassive as ever. This impassive face seemed to say 'I am not amused by your antics, O'Neill.'

“Fine, but you'd better let me see them later,” Pinkie replied.

“Sure, as long as Hammond approves.” Jack was fairly certain that Hammond would approve, and could already see the havoc that a loose Pinkie Pie could wreak on the SGC. It was a delicious thought.

The group then entered the chamber which contained the presumptive Elements of Harmony. It was just as big and decrepit as it had been the last time SG-1 had been there. White vines still strangled ancient columns, some of which no longer supported the ceiling where it had previously caved in. Empty window frames lined the walls; some still contained jagged shards of colored glass.

In the room's center stood the very sculpture that they had come to investigate in the first place. Nothing else stood out in the room, though the back wall did hold a barely visible entrance to the tunnels which contained the Stargate.

“Right,” O'Neill said, “everyone understand their jobs?” A series of nods went through the group. “Good, then get to it!”

“Sir,” Carter called, a coy smile on her lips, “could you bring the rest of the equipment back with you? It’d help to be able to run some tests.”

“Sure, Carter. You want me to get you some Jell-O from the commissary as well?”

“Oh, if you’re going, could you pick up one for me, too?” Daniel chimed in. “But only if they have green.”

Rolling his eyes, O'Neill turned on his heels and headed towards the back door. Thankfully, the swish of wings and clip-clop of hooves quickly joined him.

As he entered the tunnels, Jack flipped on his flashlight and began talking. “So, the Stargate's this big stone ring, and to use it, we have to turn it to a series of specific orientations.” Jack could anticipate a number of potential questions, and he did not want to waste time on pleasantries just now. “When we get to it, I'll have to hook up a power source, and then we'll all work together to dial it. It's perfectly safe until the very end. You will do what I say, when I say so, and ask for explanations later, got it?”

O'Neill heard two, 'yes, sir's,' which pleased him mightily. They didn't even sound too disgruntled by it. Truly, these were his sort of ponies. Not that Pinkie was all that bad; she just didn't belong on this sort of mission.

Soon enough, the three of them turned the final corner and were greeted with the Stargate, surrounded on both sides by SG-1's scientific gear. O'Neill set to work opening the naquadah generator's case. The process by which one hooked it up to the gate was made intentionally simple. This was because Carter had been the one to design it, and knew that Jack would probably have to use it. It had been an interesting day in the commissary when he realized that he was her proof that even a child could set one up. To be fair, he didn't screw it up and was done in short order.

Other members of the SGC had told O'Neill that there was a trick to manually getting a chevron to lock into place. He never really had a problem with it; the gate just seemed to know when the proper chevron was in place whenever an SG-1 team member had to manually dial. Maybe they were all just particularly gifted with Ancient devices.

In any event, having ponies along to help out with the dialing didn't seem to mar that streak. They were actually pretty good at dialing the gate, Applejack being stronger even than Teal'c, and Rainbow Dash able to fly with as much power as she did speed. O'Neill found that he wasn't particularly helpful at actually turning the thing, and so settled for directing the two ponies.

After a quick six chevrons' worth of dialing, Jack called out, “OK, now it gets dangerous. When we finish dialing the gate, a blue wave of destruction is going to shoot out of it. Whatever it touches will be annihilated. Destroyed. Kaput. You should both move to the outside of the ring, and be very careful.” Seeing that Applejack had moved behind the stone ring, Jack added, “You've gotta be to one side of the gate. Behind it is just as dangerous as in front.”

“Like this, Colonel?” Applejack asked, having shifted herself over.

“Exactly,” O’Neill said. He looked over the Stargate for an unfamiliar symbol, the point-of-origin of this planet. Somehow, he wasn't at all surprised by what he found. “Now, just turn it until the vaguely horseshoe-shaped symbol is in place, and then get ready for the light show.” The two ponies turned the inner ring of the Stargate as instructed; the final chevron lit up. The blast of blue stuff which shot out of the gate didn’t so much as phase O’Neill, considering how often he saw Stargates activate; the same could not be said for the two ponies.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash both started at the brilliant flash of light, which was amplified by the previous darkness, and the accompanying noise. Proving that O’Neill had chosen well in bringing them along, the two quickly regained their composure. Jack typed in SG-1’s identification code on the small transmitter he carried, afraid that one of them might take an impromptu journey through the gate.

“Don’t go in,” O’Neill instructed the mares absent-mindedly, adding, “and especially don’t go in the back.” Admittedly, he had no idea what would happen if they did, but that was a question to test on a rock or something. Maybe he’d grab one of Daniel’s many old rocks and give it a try after the mission.

Over to one side of the chamber, the distinctive sound of servos whirring about could be heard. Jack turned towards the MALP and gave a chipper wave. General Hammond’s voice came from the probe’s speakers, accompanied by the normal crackle of the radio. “Colonel O’Neill. You’re not due in for another few hours,” he said in a tone that was half a question and half an order.

“Ran into a goa’uld, sir,” O’Neill replied, sounding quite cross. “I’d say we have five or ten minutes before she comes looking for us, though.”

“What’s your situation?”

“We’re holed up in some ruins with a handful of the locals. Seems there may be a fancy super weapon around here. Carter and Daniel are working on that right now.” Glancing up at the gate, Jack noticed two of the aforementioned locals curiously examining the Stargate. He turned away from the MALP’s camera and scolded, “Please don’t poke the event horizon.”

The camera turned towards the gate, focusing on Rainbow Dash, who was pawing at the shimmering pool of energy, sending ripples along its surface. She was also hovering a good few feet in the air; Jack enjoyed imagining Hammond’s face when he saw that. Applejack, meanwhile, had abandoned the Stargate for the MALP. Jack was pretty sure she came in from off screen as she stuck her eye right in front of the camera’s lens. Sometimes, he really wished MALPs had video feed from the SGC.

“Is this like one of ‘em walkie-talkies you gave us?” Applejack asked. She tapped the MALP’s camera with her hoof as she examined the device. Rainbow Dash gave up on the Stargate and flitted over to join Applejack at the MALP.

Jack smirked to himself as he answered. “Basically. It’s also got a camera, so General Hammond can see you through this,” he said, pointing to the now slightly askew device. “You can still see us, right General?”

“Everything’s crooked, and we can’t turn the camera anymore, but we are still receiving visual telemetry,” came the reply. It wasn’t Hammond’s voice, probably one of the technicians had answered instead. Applejack blushed and stepped back a few feet. She was then joined by Rainbow Dash, for once standing on the ground.

“Good to hear,” O’Neill replied. “General, meet Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They’re two of the locals.” He said this in his best deadpan, as if polychromatic, talking, flying ponies wearing Stetsons were not at all out of the ordinary. It was still surprising to Jack how quickly he had adjusted to the ponies himself.

“It is a pleasure to meet you both,” General Hammond’s voice replied. “Now, you were saying about a goa’uld?”

O’Neill began to respond, “Right—”

“Oh my gosh! We need to get back to the others!” Rainbow Dash suddenly shouted. “Nightmare Moon could be back at any moment. Let’s grab the egghead stuff and get going.” She sprang off the ground and sped towards the pile of scientific equipment SG-1 had left by the wall.

“Hold yer horses, girl,” Applejack sighed. “Major Carter said that stuff was fragile. It won’t matter how quick you gather it if it’s all broken by the time she gets it.” She trotted over to aid Rainbow Dash in gathering the equipment while O’Neill continued his report.

“Right,” Jack said, decidedly more smarmily than previously. “It seems that, through no fault of our own, we arrived just as a goa’uld broke out of her prison.” Jack was sure to stress that SG-1 in no way aided in her escape. “We tried killing her, even got a few Zat blasts in, but she just came back from it. Right now, Carter and Daniel are trying to get a legendary super weapon to work. Really, I’d feel somewhat better with SG-3 and a bunch of tranqs.”

“Understood, General Hammond said, “they’ll be there within a half an hour.”

“Wonderful, sir. We’ll hold off the moon goddess while the marines get dressed. They should feel free to take their time.”

“Good luck, Colonel,” Hammond replied. Jack could almost hear the eye roll in his voice.

“Thank you, sir.”.

With that, O’Neill saluted and turned away from the MALP. A quick check of his watch showed that of their estimated twenty minutes, five still remained. It really felt like more than that had passed, but these high-stress situations generally felt as if they lasted longer than they really did. Especially when there was any sort of hard time limit, so Jack didn’t worry about it too much.

Looking over to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, O’Neill saw a rather impressive pile of scientific equipment secured to either pony’s back. O’Neill found a few things he could carry from the pile, which was mostly gone.

“Come on, let’s get back to the others,” Rainbow Dash said impatiently. Applejack gave an eager nod of agreement which Jack echoed. The three turned away from the gate and began their walk back through the tunnels. Behind them, the event horizon of the Stargate evaporated, plunging the three into darkness.

“So,” Jack said as his eyes adjusted to the low light, “you’re Applebloom’s sister, right?”

“Ah sure am, Applejack replied with no small hint of pride in her voice. “She was all atwitter about meeting you before the Summer Sun Celebration. Granny Smith had a heck of a time getting her to take a nap beforehand.”

“I guess meeting space aliens would do that to any kid,” Jack commiserated with a knowing smirk. He himself had barely been able to sleep his first time either. To be fair, though, he had been on an alien world in a desert

“Hmm. I don’t know if it was more that you were an alien, or that you thought that cutie marks were evil. She was ranting at anypony who’d listen.” Applejack chuckled at the memory, though her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey, she’ll be alright. We’ve pulled out of much tighter scrapes than this,” Jack said. He would have given her a supportive pat on the shoulders, but his arms were full and her shoulders laden with supplies.

“Name one,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Well, there was one time that we broke a sun. We almost killed off all the life on its planet. Carter managed to fix it, though I could not tell you how.”

“Woah, she can fix the Sun?” Rainbow Dash said, eyes wide. “Think she can move it, too?”

“Ya need to have unicorn magic to move the sun, Rainbow,” Applejack replied testily.

“I know,” Rainbow said, “but they’re pretty smart. Colonel O’Neill said that the built machines to fly, even though they don’t have wings. Maybe Major Carter could build a sun-moving machine.”

“I thought it didn’t count if we were using machines,” Jack said with a smirk.

Rainbow Dash blushed and smiled bashfully at the reminder of her brash comments from the previous day. “Well, maybe it counts a little. Hey, if it saves Equestria I’ll even admit that they’re faster than me. You know, once they beat me in a race.”

“So you’d admit the truth after they proved it?” Applejack said in mock-disbelief. “You know that’s how most ponies act normally,” she added, giving her voice more than a little bit of an edge.

“Yeah, well —” Rainbow Dash cut herself off as the group emerged from the tunnels. “Oh hey, we’re here.”

The room was notably brighter than the tunnels, illuminated as it was by the disturbingly blank moon. Daniel stood with Rarity, who had apparently decided that following orders wasn’t necessary, by one text-covered wall. Rarity held a large text in her magical grasp while Daniel leafed back and forth in his notepad. Carter and Twilight sat with the Elements, or at least with the stone spheres which were assumed to be the Elements. They had removed the orbs from their statue and seemed to be lost in experiment.

“Special delivery for Major Carter, “Jack said in a singsong voice. He placed his load of scientific doodads next to Carter. Applejack and Rainbow Dash followed suit. The two stretched while Jack turned to the scientists. “So, any progress?” he asked.

Before any of the research team could answer, three radios crackled to life. Teal’c’s voice came through the devices. “Colonel O’Neill, someone is approaching our position.”

Chapter 1

Colonel Jack O'Neill sauntered into the briefing room, probably only a few minutes late. In his mind, it really didn’t matter. Sure General Hammond wouldn’t be happy with him, but the beginning of any given briefing was mostly pointless for him anyway. Carter would be babbling about some sort of scientific weirdness that she wanted to spend the next thirty years probing or Daniel would be blathering about some centuries-dead race that left some bad doodles on a wall. It wasn’t as if he was just guessing; he’d read the pre-briefing memo on the mission. This time, they’d both be going at it.

All eyes turned to the new arrival; they had wisely just gone ahead with the meeting in spite of the colonel’s absence. Carter was standing in front of the projector screen filled with colorful graphs showing... something. The pre-brief had said that there were exotic particles which would open up a whole new field of study if they could be understood. O'Neill really didn’t need to know more about them than that, save that they were apparently not harmful to people, and so he didn’t see the point in listening to Carter’s technobabble.

Major Carter glared at O’Neill. “Sir, we’ve already been in this briefing for twenty minutes.”

“Yes, you have,” returned Col. O'Neill. “Carry on.” The leader of SG-1, the lead team of Stargate Command, then took his seat. On his left, closest to the board where Carter was giving her presentation was General Hammond, leader of the SGC; Carter’s empty seat was on O'Neill’s right. Across from him was Teal’c, once the second in command to a goa'uld System Lord but had since defected to the humans to help free his people.

Apparently Carter had, in fact, continued with her briefing. She had, in point of fact, finished and asked for questions. O'Neill decided it was best to not ask any; he’d probably just snark about something and pretend he didn’t understand anything she said. If anything was extra important for him to know, Carter would make sure he knew it anyway.

After the Major retook her seat, there was an awkward silence as Jack realized he wasn’t the last to arrive. Daniel Jackson, the team’s resident archaeologist, linguist, and general nerd, was conspicuously absent. A few awkward glances were passed around the room for the few seconds before Daniel stumbled in, a very messy folder clenched in his arms.

O'Neill tsked at his friend, “You’re late Danny boy.”

Teal’c turned his head to O'Neill and raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “You yourself have only just arrived. Are you sure you should be reprimanding Daniel Jackson for his tardiness?” O'Neill could only shoot Teal’c a vexed look as Daniel fumbled with his papers.

“Sorry I’m late,” he glanced pointedly at Jack, “I ran into one of the lieutenants on the way here.” His tone and the mess that was his file implied that he was to be taken literally. “Anyway, while I’m sure Sam’s told you all about the scientific interest the world holds, it also holds some great historical information. These carvings,” he clicked a button and sent the slideshow to the next image, a picture of a wall with various carvings made on it, “are in an old Goa’uld dialect, mixed with a bit of very old Teutonic. From what the M.A.L.P. sent back, it seems to be the history of wherever the Stargate is. Basically, who built it and for what.

“So far, I’ve been able to translate that it’s a castle located in the ‘Everfree Forest’ built in honor of a pair of ruling sisters. There also seems to be a motif of,” he paused for a second, “Teal’c, help me out on this. What does ‘tau’ki’ mean?”

“I do not believe I have heard that word, Daniel Jackson. At a guess, I would say that it refers to another race used by the Goa’uld for hosts and slaves, much as tau’ri refers to the first ones, humans. I could not guess as to what the suffix ‘ki’ means, though.”

“Yes,” Daniel half-mumbled in response, “that’s what I had thought as well. I’ve seen reference throughout what we have from the M.A.L.P. to hooves wherever we would expect hands; perhaps the tau’ki are truly alien beings, along the lines of the Reetou.”

“So,” Jack cut in, “we might be dealing with more invisible spider aliens?”

“Nnnoo... At least, I highly doubt that. I’d guess they’re more akin to horses than spiders. Of course, they could be human as well, and just worship a horse deity. The point is that it’s a really exciting culture to study.”

“Yes. Study,” Jack responded. “Are you sure they’ll want to be studied? We don’t have the best track record when meeting non-human aliens.” He glanced at Teal’c, “Present company excluded, of course.”

Teal’c nodded. Though he appeared for all eyes to be human, he was in fact a Jaffa. The only immediately notable differences were the mark on his forehead, poured of molten gold, symbolizing his high rank when he was in the service of the goa’uld, Apophis, and the x-shaped opening in his stomach which led to an incubation sack. The sack contained a larval goa’uld, too young to take a host whose mind it would overpower and whose body it would use as its own.

Daniel continued on, brushing off Jack’s remark. “Well, from what I can see, no one has been to the castle for a long time. Centuries, even. I’d say it’s unlikely we’ll run into the locals unless we go out looking for them.”

O'Neill chose not to continue teasing Daniel even though they almost always ‘ran into the locals’ no matter how old or decrepit were the gate’s surroundings. Without further interruption from Jack, Daniel was able to quickly speed through the, well, Jack couldn’t exactly call them highlights but he supposed that that’s what they were supposed to be, of the text surrounding the Stargate.

After what felt like hours, Daniel took a seat next to Teal’c. General Hammond stood and took the front of the room. “Is there anything else?”

“Yes, Sir,” said O'Neill, “I didn’t see any DHD in the M.A.L.P. video, so we’ll be wanting a naquadah generator to dial back with.”

“Granted. SG-1, you will be laying the groundwork for an extended scientific expedition. Once you have established that there are no serious threats I will send a science team through to join you.”

“Sir—”

“Yes, Colonel, you will be recalled shortly after, there’s no need to keep SG-1 on science detail.” O'Neill pumped his fist in the air, while Sam and Daniel looked just a bit defeated. Teal’c remained impassive. “SG-1, you have a go!”

Carter and O'Neill stood and saluted their commanding officer while Teal’c and Daniel simply stood and respectfully took their leave. The four members of SG-1 headed directly for the locker rooms and changed into their standard uniforms. A short time later the team was in the gate room and ready to go.

In addition to their normal gear - guns, C4, grenades, rations, and the like - the team was also weighed down with scientific equipment so Carter could get the research started, as well as Dr. Jackson’s reference materials. They stood at the bottom of the ramp leading up to the enormous stone ring that was the Stargate. Behind them, in the control center, a team of technicians worked to upkeep the dialing programs which had been slapped together to run Earth’s Stargate in absence of a D.H.D.

A rumbling, felt more than heard, signaled the enormous machines were coming to life as absurd levels of electrical power flowed into the superconducting ring. Suddenly, the inner ring of the Stargate began to spin. The pictographic representations of constellations sped by until one clicked into place beneath one of the Gate’s chevrons which snapped forward and lit up.

“Chevron One, encoded!” called Sergeant Harriman over the gate room’s loudspeakers.

The inner ring once again spun and once again stopped as a second chevron lit up.

“Chevron Two, encoded!”

“Chevron Three, encoded!”

“Chevron Four, encoded!”

“Chevron Five, encoded!” O'Neill idly fiddled with the brim of his cap as he waited.

“Chevron Six, encoded!”

“Chevron Seven, locked!” With that, a great splash of stuff shot out from the edges of the gate and met in the middle of the ring. At contact, the water like substance splashed out to the edge of the ramp in a massive plume of destructive force. The jet came to a head and then swiftly retreated, forming a flat event horizon in the plane of the Gate. Its surface rippled like the surface of the ocean on a calm, sunny day.

O'Neill hefted his portion of Sam’s gear and walked up the ramp towards the event horizon. Behind him, the rest of SG-1 followed him into the old orifice.

As they crossed through the event horizon, everything became light and dark, sound and silence, for a moment too short to even notice. To the team it felt just like blinking on Earth, and then opening their eyes on P3X-597, the designation given to the latest planet they were exploring. They saw exactly what the M.A.L.P. had shown them, a large chamber built of stone. There were no windows, the only illumination coming from the still-active gate.

Colonel O'Neill ordered the team to drop their gear outside the Gate’s splash zone and to establish a perimeter. He didn’t know what was in the castle besides SG-1 and didn’t care to be taken by surprise. As the team finished setting down the scientific equipment the Stargate shut down, the pool of standing energy evaporating away to nothing. The rippling blue light was quickly replaced by the bouncing white of handheld and gun-mounted flashlights.

In the darkness, they could see that a faint light came through the only entrance to the chamber. “Let’s move out!” ordered O'Neill, not exactly trusting hand signs in the low and unsteady light. The team filed out of the Stargate’s chamber and immediately hit a fork. Light seemed to be coming from both directions. “Carter, you’re with Teal’c. Take the left, and maintain radio contact. Check in once you find something, no longer than ten minutes without contact; synchronize watches to eighteen hundred Zulu... now. Go see what you can find.”

“Yes Sir,” Carter replied. She and Teal’c headed off down their path while Daniel and Jack went off in the other direction. The hallways were nondescript, built of some stone O'Neill was sure Daniel could identify. They were cool to the touch and looked much like any other stone-built structure Jack had been in. As they walked through twists and turns, Daniel used some special archaeologist chalk to mark their way back while O'Neill used a pencil and paper to roughly map out the tunnels.

“So,” said Jack to break the silence after hitting their third dead end, “horse aliens?”

“Hmmm?” mumbled Daniel who had been lost in thought. The two seemed to be in some sort of storage area of the castle. “I guess. Like I said, hooves are mentioned frequently. Though, the architecture is much too similar to ours for that. How would they even build things like this without hands?”

“Magic,” quipped O'Neill. Daniel was about to respond when they rounded a corner and were bathed with light. The tunnel had suddenly given way to an enormous room. It seemed to have once been a throne room, though any chairs present were long gone. The room was ringed in opulent columns which had to go at least four stories up to meet the ceiling. Just as impressive were the windows, still framed but devoid of glass for the most part, which rose from about three feet from the ground nearly to the ceiling as well.

Jackson and O'Neill had entered through a concealed door to the side of the raised platform where the throne had likely stood, probably a passageway for servants to unobtrusively access the throne. Up the columns crept pale ivy which snaked into the throne room through the tall windows. The delicate artistry of the columns and regal platform contrasted with the plain stone of the floor, walls, and ceiling. The only other door to be seen was a tall Gothic opening in the opposite wall.

“Incredible,” breathed Daniel, “it’s just like cathedrals on Earth, minus the crucifix designed into the floor plan. I’d say this is more a palace than a castle, maybe a religious site to worship whatever goa’uld was here.”

“Speaking of, do you have any ideas what a horse goa’uld would look like? How would they even survive without being able to give hammy speeches and cackle maniacally? Maybe they have donkeys for Jaffa and use ponies as slaves?”

Daniel sighed and pushed up his glasses, “I was thinking more of a horse-themed goa’uld. Maybe Epona.”

“You’re no fun, you know that, right? I’ll check in with Carter and Teal’c, you go enjoy these wonderful ruins.” With that, O'Neill grabbed the radio on his vest and called the others. “Carter, Teal’c, you there? Daniel and I are in what looks like a throne room. Have you gotten to the outside yet?”

There was a second’s delay as O'Neill waited for them to respond. Carter’s voice came through loud and clear, “We’re here, sir. We’ve come out in some sort of chamber. There’s a large artifact of some sort in the center, a bunch of spheres on a pedestal. Beyond that, I can’t see anything that stands out. Teal’c’s gone up a tower we found to scout out the surroundings.”

“Teal’c, see anything yet?” asked O'Neill.

“Not yet, Colonel O'Neill,” responded Teal’c. “I have yet to reach the top of the tower, but I will let you know what I see once I have done so.”

“Good, do so,” Jack said as he walked to a nearby window. Through it he could see another structure down the hill from the building in which he stood. Looking at the building he could see its roof was completely gone and that it looked less than stable. “And be careful,” he added, “these buildings don’t look to be in the best shape.”

Teal’c simply replied, “Am I not always careful, O’Neill?”

Jack looked out at the scenery surrounding the castle. They were surrounded by forest as far as he could see from his admittedly terrible vantage point. Down the hill, past the other building, O'Neill could see a deep chasm; hopefully there would be a bridge that went with it.

A bit of motion caught the colonel’s eye. He could see something moving past the windows of the other structure. “Carter,” he radioed, “would you mind waving your hands?”

“Sir?” said Carter, more than slightly confused. She did so anyway, wondering why when she noticed the large windows of the building she was in looked up at another.

“I thought that was you,” said O'Neill as he waved back at Carter. “Once Teal’c gets back from his tower, meet up in this building. I’m going to go check in with Hammond.”

“Yes, sir.”

O'Neill turned back to the throne room and walked over to Daniel, who was studying the inscriptions on the archway leading outside. “Find anything yet?”

“Surprisingly enough, I have. The language is shockingly similar to English in its grammar, and most of the vocabulary is standard Goa’uld.”

“Aaaaand?” prodded O’Neill. He never did enjoy listening to scientists go on over minutia when all he needed was the meat of the matter.

Daniel swallowed a retort, deciding it wasn’t worth it. He mumbled through a few lines of preamble that were probably unimportant for the moment before getting to the heart of the matter, “Behold! Here sit the noble Princesses Celestia and Luna. Let,” he puzzled for a moment and sighed: he knew exactly how Jack would react to the next word and wasn’t looking forward to it, “nopony question their just and fair decrees.” Daniel grimaced as Jack’s face lit up and a grin appeared on his face.

“So, we have pony aliens, then? And here you were saying that they would be horses. How could you ever have been so silly?”

Daniel groused at Jack who sniped right back at his friend. The routine was an old one at this point, Daniel loved to gush on and on about archaeology or linguistics or whatever new culture SG-1 had stumbled upon, and Jack didn’t enjoy scientists going on and on about their work in any capacity. Even so, the verbal attacks they made on one another never went beyond friendly banter.

Their radios crackled simultaneously as Teal’c’s voice came through. “Colonel O'Neill, I have reached the top of the tower. I believe I can see a small village on the horizon, no more than half a day’s walk if the jungle is particularly thick.”

“Excellent,” said O'Neill. Checking the sky and his watch, he added, “We’ll go check it out today. Carter, Teal’c, you join me in the gate room. We’ll contact Hammond and move the sciencey stuff to the throne room. Daniel, you keep translating. I think we might want to know exactly how Pony culture differs from ours.”

There was a pause.

“Sir, did you just say pony culture?”

Chapter 6

“So, do you think we went a bit overboard?” whispered O’Neill.

“It’ll be close,” whispered Pinkie Pie from Jack’s left. “I’m pretty sure the prank density is below the saturation point, so the rate of pranking should be just below the point-two-five pranks per minute maximum. If we did go over, it could all just get trite.” Jack stared at the source of Pinkie Pie’s voice in confusion. Even though all the lights were out and the shutters were closed so that no light could enter, he felt the need to give her a look of pure befuddlement.

A second later, Pinkie burst into muted laughter and whispered, “The look on your face is priceless!”

“But you can’t even see it.”

“So? It’s still priceless.” As Jack was about to make an indignant response, Pinkie put a hoof to his lips and said, “Shhhh, she’s coming, so get ready everypony!” just loud enough that all gathered could hear.

From outside the library a conversation could be heard:

“I am so sorry. How did we get here so fast?” said one voice. “This is where I’m staying in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep.”

A young male voice countered, “No I don’t!” A half-second later, what Jack assumed to be the baby dragon yelped before something that was probably also the baby dragon hit the ground with a soft thud.

Inside the library Jack whispered, “A baby what, now?”

“Shhh!” shushed Pinkie Pie.

“Awww, wook at that. He’s so sweepy he can’t even keep his wittle bawance,” said the first voice from outside.

A third voice said something so softly that it was inaudible until the yellow coated, pink maned and tailed pegasus flew into the library saying, “--get him to bed.”

“Oh no!” whispered Pinkie Pie from her hiding place. “We can’t pull the surprise while Fluttershy is here, she’s much too timid for it.”

Luckily for the party as a whole, the owner of the first voice, a purple unicorn, zipped in after Fluttershy and hastily pushed her out of the library. “Yes yes,” said the unicorn, “we’ll get right on that. Well, goodnight!” With the last farewell, she slammed the door closed on the pegasus.

“Huh,” said the baby dragon, “rude much?”

“Sorry Spike,” said the unicorn, “but I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming, and we’re running out of time. I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time. Now, where’s the light?”

As providence rarely gives a more perfect lead-in to a surprise party, Pinkie Pie threw the lights on. Properly reacting to the very subtle signal, all the gathered ponies shouted in unison, “SURPRISE!!!”

As a noisemaker went off, its ribboned end unraveling across the purple unicorn’s eyes, the mare sighed in what Jack judged to be a mixture of annoyance and resignation.

Pinkie Pie, who had chosen to throw on the lights and therefore not be in the middle of the surprise, ran up to the unicorn to shout an extra “Surprise!” at her for good measure. Jack, for his part, chose to stick to the outskirts of the party for the moment. He and the pink one had decided that throwing a real live alien at the guest of honor would be a nice secondary surprise to really get her in the partying mood. That, or really annoy her, Jack was good either way.

For that reason, Jack sat on the staircase and chatted with one or two of the ponies at a time. With the fun of a party going on, as well as a number of his and Pinkie’s pranks starting to go off, the ponies were too distracted to form into the mob-like group that had arrested SG-1’s progress towards Town Hall earlier in the day. Jack looked up from his conversation with a dentist pony who was somehow named Colgate, like the toothpaste brand.

“--and that’s why you should brush for exactly one minute after every meal,” said Colgate, finishing a story that had started when she’d seen O’Neill eating a cupcake with about as much frosting as cake.

“... Interesting,” said O’Neill, “but if you’ll excuse me, I think this may be my cue.” He nodded his head towards the table where Pinkie was distracting the purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, to the point that she’d grabbed the hot sauce instead of the drinks surrounding it.

“-- and now you have lots and lots of friends!” said Pinkie, ending her impressively long winded explanation of the party’s purpose. Twilight Sparkle’s eyes flew open at Pinkie’s words. At first, O’Neill thought she was just that against the idea of friends, but then he saw her face turn bright red and sweat begin to pour down her cheeks. Jack noticed that Rainbow Dash was part of the group of ‘friends,’ as well as Pinkie herself. As Twilight turned to the group of ponies Pinkie had gathered, she began to tear up.

“Are you allright, sugarcube?” asked one of Twilights friends, an orange mare with a southern accent. Also in the group was Fluttershy, who Jack remembered as not being part of the party. Finally, there was a white unicorn with a completely over-the-top purple mane and tail.

The five ponies looked on with concern as Twilight began to twitch. Suddenly, she leapt into the air, her mane and tail turning into flames as steam shot out her ears. She hung in the air for a moment, desperately trying to gallop away but finding no purchase in the air. Then, with a flash, she was off and running.

Luckily, she was running straight for the stairs, and therefore she was running straight for O’Neill. He grabbed his canteen and unscrewed the cap as he said, “Water?” A funny tingling sensation washed over his fingers as Twilight’s magic gripped the canteen. She guzzled down the water, emptying the canteen in a matter of seconds. Twilight floated the canteen back to O’Neill as she started to blink the tears out of her eyes.

“Thank y-- Gwaaahhh!” shouted Twilight, only just seeing O’Neill for the first time. “What are you?” she asked.

“A human,” said Jack as if it was completely obvious. It was for him, of course, but the flippant response only confused Twilight more.

“Where did you come from?” Twilight cried hysterically. “No, wait. I don’t have time for this. I have to do more research on the Elements of Harmony if I’m going to have any chance of stopping Nightmare Moon tomorrow.”

The worry in Twilight’s voice made O’Neill take notice. Even if it was just stress from the surprise party and meeting him, he didn’t actually want to make the pony worry. Besides, Cheerilee had said something about a ‘Nightmare Moon’ too, and in his line of work, ancient gods and legends had a habit of trying to kill him.

“Nightmare who?” asked Jack. He wanted to hear what had the mare so worried that she’d skip a party like this for studying. On the other hand, she could just be a stick in the mud like Carter and Daniel who were still locked away in the side room.

“Uggh,” sighed Twilight, “Nightmare Moon. She tried to bring eternal night 1000 years ago, but Princess Celestia stopped her and used the Elements of Harmony to banish her to the moon. But this is the thousandth year since then, and the legends say that this year, on the longest day of the year, she’ll escape. Tomorrow is the longest day, and so we have to find the elements or there’ll be no way to stop her!” Twilight gasped for air, having spat out what amounted to her sum total of knowledge on the subject.

“Alright,” said O’Neill, “come with me.” He stood up and beckoned Twilight to follow. He quickly led her around the main of the party and to the door to the side room. When they got there, O’Neill began obnoxiously banging on the door and called, “Hey Daniel, open up!”

“Yes, Jack? What is it?” asked Daniel as he pulled the door open. Simultaneously, a bucket of water spilled its contents on Daniel’s head. Mouth hanging open, Daniel stood in the doorway for a moment. All he could say was, “The door opens inwards. How?”

“Don’t question it,” advised Jack with a wide grin, “Pinkie Pie set that one up and I’m not sure how she does a lot of things.”

“Fine,” groused Daniel, “but was there a point to this besides getting me soaked?”

“Oh, right,” said O’Neill, “this is Twilight Sparkle-”

“Hi,” said Twilight unsurely, “just Twilight is fine.”

“-and she seems to think we might be in for some trouble later.”

“What sort of trouble?” asked Daniel.

“Return of some ancient evil long thought gone. You know, the usual,” joked O’Neill.

“So what’s the plan, then?”

“Research!” Twilight shouted triumphantly.

Daniel looked to O’Neill who nodded in assent. This caused Daniel’s eyebrows to jump up in surprise and disbelief. “Really, Jack? The plan is to do research?”

“Yeah,” said O’Neill, “ancient tools that banished Nightmare Moon the first time might be around somewhere. Until we know what’s going on, that does seem like the best plan.”

“I agree, it’s just not like you to go with the academic approach to these sorts of problems.” After a brief pause, he continued, “Wait, you think these tools are weapons, don’t you?”

“Daniel, whatever they are, they pose a threat to something that is prophesied to stop the sun from rising, if what we’ve heard from Cheerilee and Twilight is true. I don’t care if it’s a recipe for lasagna; we could use it. Especially with our track record for crazy prophecies.”

“True,” said Daniel. The three entered the side room, firmly closing the door, and sat down to learn.

“So, Twilight,” Jack asked as the mare grasped three books in her magical grip and began to rapidly leaf through them, “if this Nightmare Moon appears, what can we expect from her?”

Twilight threw the books she had previously been searching away in favor of a new set plucked off random shelves. “Well,” she said, “the stories say she was once Princess Celestia’s sister, so she’ll be really powerful. I mean, if the Princess took her seriously enough to banish her for a millenium, she must have been a real threat.”

It seemed that actually getting to sit down and do research had calmed Twilight significantly. “Well, then I’d say it’s up to you bookish types to figure this Elements of Ham thingy out.”

“Harmony. They’re the Elements of Harmony,” said Twilight crossly. “I don’t see what overacting would even do to a villain like Nightmare Moon.”

“You’ve obviously never fought an evil god before, then. Otherwise, you’d know that hamminess is one of their greatest weaknesses.” Jack got up and headed for the door. “Carter, Daniel, figure out what you can. Get Teal’c to help you too if he wakes up anytime soon. Hopefully nothing will happen, but things never really seem to stay peaceful for long.”

“Where will you be, sir?” asked Carter.

“Carter, where do I ever go when you eggheads are doing this kind of stuff?” asked Jack in return.

“That’s actually a good question, where do you g--” Carter’s line of inquiry was cut as the door to the party room opened.

“Come on, Jack,” called Pinkie Pie from the door, “you’re missing everything! Your noodle prank went off perfectly. It got Big Mac and Applejack just as they were leaving to get Applebloom. They were so surprised!”

Just as O’Neill was about to respond, a shriek was heard coming from the direction of the drinks. “It looks like someone found your pet alligator,” said Jack with a smirk.

“Gummy does like punch,” said Pinkie Pie as she nodded fiercely. The two headed back out into the party, eliciting some rather tipsy cheers as well as fearful gasps at what the two pranksters had planned next.

~~~

After what felt like only a few seconds, but by O’Neill’s watch was a few solid hours, the party wound down. Most of the guests had already left for Town Hall, where the Princess would be appearing in little under an hour, to get good spots. Spike, Twilight’s baby dragon, who it turned out was quite the party animal, had gone to round up the eggheads while Jack helped Pinkie Pie clean up the party.

Rather, he mostly watched as Pinkie wolfed down all the remaining food and drink while rolling the spent streamers neatly around her body. His job was to sweep up the confetti from the ground and pack it into shots for her party cannon. Somehow he didn’t feel too good about rearming the pink party terror, but hey, at least she recycled.

“Thanks for helping with the cleanup, Jack,” said Pinkie Pie cheerfully as she slipped out of the streamers, leaving behind neatly rolled coils, and offered her hoof to O’Neill.

“No problem,” said Jack. “I helped cause at least a quarter of the mess, so it was the least I could do.” O’Neill reached out and grasped Pinkie’s hoof, assuming that she was looking for their equivalent of a handshake. Immediately, his arm jerked back, wracked with pain.

“Yaah,” yelped Jack, “God, that hurt. Joy buzzers aren’t supposed to have actual electricity in them.” So far their pranks had been pretty crazy, but none had been painful, excluding the hot sauce, but that was an easily avoidable fate. “You know it’s dangerous to shock someone like that, right?” said O’Neill seriously.

“I’m so sorry,” cried Pinkie Pie, “Laugh Out Loud said that it shouldn’t hurt anypony.”

O’Neill let out a groan; he knew it wasn’t Pinkie’s fault. She seemed to have genuinely thought it was safe, and she had not done anything really dangerous yet. “It’s alright," said the colonel with an undertone of sadness, "us humans may simply be more vulnerable to electricity than you ponies. The hooves probably help with it some.”

“OK,” said Pinkie cheerfully, having quickly bounced back to her usual manic self. “I’ll see you at the sun raising. I’ve got to go put this stuff away and get a good spot.” With that, Pinkie pranced off into the night, disturbingly unencumbered by her heavy pack of party products.

As Jack shook out his tingling arm, he muttered to himself, “I guess you’ve gotta admit it was pretty funny.”

A few minutes later, O’Neill was joined by the rest of SG-1, Cheerilee, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike as they made their way toward Town Hall. “So you’re telling me,” said Jack, “that you couldn’t find anything on the Elementals all night?”

“Elements, sir, and no. We figure the book on it was in the party room, but every time we tried to go out and find it we got hit by a prank. I think I’ll have frosting in my hair for a week, by the way,” said Carter.

“Everyone is always saying how sweet you are, Carter,” said O’Neill, earning himself a glance that could kill. “Seriously, though, we’ve got nothing on these superweapons?”

“The Elements of Harmony aren’t weapons,” Twilight said aghast.

“Fine,” said O’Neill, still rankled from Pinkie’s shocking farewell, “so we’ve got nothing on the super powerful artefacts that can stop a very powerful being in its tracks?”

“No,” said Cheerilee worriedly. “But it’s always possible that nothing will happen. Just because it’s a legend doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“But I just know it’s real, everything points to Nightmare Moon returning tonight!” complained Twilight.

“You said that you are the Princess’s personal student, did you not? Have you tried asking her about it?” asked Teal’c. O’Neill looked questioningly at Daniel for confirmation, to which Daniel nodded. It seemed that they had stumbled into a diplomatic gold mine without really trying.

“Well, I did ask her about it,” said Twilight hesitantly, “but she... umm... sort of dismissed my concerns.”

Spike laughed at Twilight and said, “She told her to stop worrying and make friends. Seriously, she’d have been in a library all day if Princess Celestia hadn’t made her come out here.”

With renewed conviction, and a bit of indignation, Twilight continued, “But I know that it’s real. And now we’ll be ready to try something, at least.”

Jack sighed. He was split on the whole subject. On the one hand, the ruler of the land with the supposed magical ability to raise the sun had decided that it wasn’t worth worrying about. On the other hand, since when had he started trusting those in power to make important decisions or to see the way things on the ground really were?

When they reached Town Hall, SG-1 was directed to one of the balconies, a place of honor for visiting dignitaries, apparently. From there they could see and be seen by the gathered ponies. As Cheerilee had told them when they arrived, the majority of the crowd were earth ponies, while there were but a handful of unicorns and probably only about 100 pegasi. In addition to the townsfolk, there was also a three-pony unit of soldiers wearing bronze armor standing guard below the main balcony. One of them seemed to be sizing up SG-1, clearly able to tell that the humans were a military unit at a glance.

Across the hall from where SG-1 stood, a chorus of songbirds led by Fluttershy played a fanfare which announced the beginning of the ceremony. A spotlight moved down from the central balcony to shine upon Mayor Mare, who stood beneath it.

“Fillies and gentlecolts,” she began, “as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!” A chorus of cheers followed, muting a remark Jack made about the celebration having started hours ago in the library.

“In just a few minutes, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise,” continued the mayor, “and celebrate this, the longest day of the year. But first, I wish to give a special welcome to our guests. In addition to the fine citizens of Ponyville, as well as those who have made the journey here from nearby towns and the members of the Princess’s entourage, we have some rather special guests.

“These creatures, humans, as they call themselves, have travelled from another planet just to meet us and to watch our Princess raise the sun!” Mayor Mare’s words were met with another raucous cheer from the crowd as the spotlight travelled to rest on SG-1.

Giving his best fake smile, O’Neill waved to the crowd while muttering, “She sure knows how to twist the truth, doesn’t she?”

“Cheerilee did say she was good at PR,” came Daniel’s surreptitious reply.

“And now,” said the mayor once the crowd had quieted, “it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria, Princess Celestia!” The ponies who had been anxiously milling about the room all snapped to attention as the birds let out another fanfare. The white unicorn from earlier, Rarity, pulled hard on a chord, pulling back the grand balcony’s curtains .

A nervous muttering filled the room when the assumedly regal form of Princess Celestia failed to appear behind the curtains. “Remain calm, everpony,” said Mayor Mare. Jack did have to hand it to her, she was good under pressure. “There must be a reasonable explanation.” With that, the mayor slipped backstage.

From the crowd, Jack could hear Pinkie’s ever cheerful voice saying, “Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games! Is she hiding?” Jack could only roll his eyes at the silly mare as his hands tightened around his MP5. O’Neill glanced at the members of his team, proud to note that even Daniel had tensed up and gripped his pistol when things started to go wrong.

Rarity, who had also gone backstage walked out onto the grand balcony and said in a shocked voice, “She’s gone,” eliciting a gasp from the crowd.

“Ooooh, she’s good,” said Pinkie Pie, obviously not feeling the tension in the room. Pinkie’s blindness to the other ponies’ fear was what made her shriek all the more disturbing. Every pony, human, jaffa, dragon, and bird in the room followed her gaze to the grand balcony where a purple and blue mist dotted with specks of light was materializing.

The starry haze formed itself into a winged, horned pony taller than anyone on SG-1. Her coat was pure black, save her cutie mark, a purple splotch with a waxing gibbous moon. She wore pale blue barding, the peytral of which was emblazoned with a waning gibbous. Her horn had to be at least a foot long, if not more, and came to a wickedly sharp point. The alicorn’s most striking features, though, were her eyes. They were scaled up with her body to maintain the proportions that were normal for ponies, but had slit pupils like a cat’s. The overall effect was that one of power and evilness.

“Oh, my beloved subjects, it’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun-loving faces,” said Nightmare Moon, becoming irate as she mentioned the sun.

“What’d you do with our princess?” shouted Rainbow Dash as she took off at Nightmare Moon.

“Woah there, nelly,” said Applejack as she bit down on Rainbow Dash’s tail, holding her back.

Jack shot a look at Carter and Teal’c and whispered, “Is she a,” but he didn’t have to finish as both Teal’c and Carter nodded and levelled their weapons at the black alicorn.

Nightmare Moon cackled evilly and said, “Why? Am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?” While Pinkie Pie began joking around in the gallery, Daniel drew his pistol and all of SG-1 clicked off their safeties.

“Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for 1000 years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” continued Nightmare Moon. Jack signalled to the team to open fire in five seconds.

“I did!” called Twilight, “and I know who you are. You’re the Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon!” The crowd drew a collective gasp at almost the same time that SG-1 opened fire.

The thunderous sound of semi-automatic gunfire tore through the air and was joined by the energetic noise created by the staff weapon’s blast travelling through the air. The gathered ponies’ ears all clamped down, some ponies running out of the building straight away as metal and plasma poured out of the aliens’ weapons and at Nightmare Moon.

All of the sound and fury of SG-1’s assault proved meaningless, however, as a midnight blue cylinder of energy shone through the haze caused by the weapons’ discharge. The wood around Nightmare Moon had occasional holes torn into it, and the banister was almost entirely destroyed. Nightmare Moon herself, though, stood tall.

Raising a hoof to her head, she rubbed the single dent SG-1 had managed to leave in her armor, a bullet had impacted her champron but had been stopped by the metal.

“Well well well,” taunted Nightmare Moon, “it seems that I am not the only one to have come from far away.” Her eyes flicked to Teal’c’s forehead. “Jaffa Apophis, kri tal shal mak!” she commanded. Two voices came from the alicorn who now spoke as a goa’uld rather than a pony.

“Mekta Teal’c, I am a free jaffa. I no longer serve the false gods!” shouted Teal’c, keeping his staff trained on Nightmare Moon.

“Shol’va, you shall pay for your foalishness in attacking me. I see you have brought taur with you, and the female has been touched by the gods. I am certain I can find a use for them,” Nightmare Moon glared at Teal’c and the humans, her eyes glowing brightly through the thinning haze. “But first,” she said, turning her gaze back to the ponies either too stupid, brave, or scared to run, “I shall bring on an eternal night that shall last forever!” The goa’uld descended into evil laughter as the purple haze which substituted for her mane and tail grew in size and began to swirl around her.

“Seize her!” shouted Mayor Mare, “only she knows where the Princess is!” As if all they needed was a reminder of their duty, the soldier ponies launched themselves at Nightmare Moon.

“Stand back, you foals,” shouted Nightmare Moon as she reared up, lashing out with lightning bolts which seemed to appear from her ethereal mane. Once more, her eyes glowed as the ponies were blasted away. Nightmare Moon let out a final cackle as she wrapped herself in midnight blue magic and streamed out the door. Ponies dodged out of the haze’s path, ducking their heads between their forelegs for protection.

“Let’s move!” ordered O’Neill. “Back to the library to regroup, we’ve got a rogue goa’uld and somewhere in there might be the answer.” Below SG-1’s balcony, the shell shocked ponies were beginning to stand up. Rainbow Dash burst out the door in a feeble attempt to pursue Nightmare Moon while Twilight Sparkle took the passed out Spike on her back and galloped out of Town Hall.