Conamen

by Tyrannosaurus_Tux

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Adventure, Human, Anthro
Length: 9895

How far do we have to go into this world before we can be homeward bound again?

This human is rather discontent with the peace and tranquility that is Equestria, and he seeks a way to go home. He may have far to go to get to his goals.

How far, indeed, is the real question.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-21 23:30:02 UTC

1

It was a rather ordinary day in Ponyville, just like any other. The foals were laughing and playing in the streets, the sun was shining, and the skies were clear. Birds chirped happily as they went to and fro. The air was crisp and clear, and the sun was shining brightly down on the scene. There was even the Summer Sun Celebration to look forward to, as the town adorned itself accordingly, with the bright pastel buildings decorated appropriately for such an event.

In fact, it was as idyllic as it could be, and that was what set Rainbow Dash on edge. She continually scanned the skies, observed the spaces between buildings, looked over the crowds and listened. The general mood of the ponies today was the same today as it had been yesterday. Everything was perfect, yet Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but tense up anyway.

With a toned, athletic build and strong wings, Rainbow Dash was not one to be unprepared for whatever physical challenge presented itself to her. Her gym clothes meant that she was ready to go 100% of the time. The only challenge left that would daunt Rainbow Dash, then, was knowing what was inevitably coming.

It happened every time. The scene would be exactly like this, with everyone and everything being right as rain, until they got a visit from something like the Ursa Minor or Bugbear or something, and they’d have a problem on their hands, with varying solutions to said problem. There could also be a new villain that reared their head and displayed their power in a petty bid for conquest of Equestria.

The problem now presenting itself to Rainbow Dash was that of trying to guess what could go wrong. The typical giant monster attacks were out, as there hadn't been one for several weeks. This left the more "menial" disasters like the sugar shortage that had struck Ponyville last week. Well, perhaps the disaster wasn't the actual shortage, but rather Pinkie Pie rampaging throughout the town literally leaving no house, tree, rock, or even cloud undisturbed. Rainbow shuddered and wished that a sugar shortage could've been sorted with a good sock to the chin, or perhaps a flying kick.

In truth, with her non-stop planning for random events and keeping a watchful eye out for literally anything, Rainbow Dash was on a razor's edge. The energy, stamina, and alertness that many adventures had built her up to was like a pressure cooker waiting to explode; she was hoping that a nice walk and talk with Fluttershy would help her calm down and let her mind wander for a bit.

Fluttershy wasn't the most conversationalist of ponies, nor was she the most outgoing, but she could be very calming. She had that effect on ponies, what with her cute face and flowing hair. The motherly figure didn't hurt, either, and neither did the sweater or jeans. Sometimes, Rainbow Dash wondered why Fluttershy was still single.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, you worry too much."

Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head as they walked down the idyllic street, tousling up her already-messy polychromatic hair. She had almost forgotten how soft and absolutely adorable Fluttershy’s voice was. Every day, it seemed Fluttershy would surprise Rainbow Dash. She loved Fluttershy like a sister, but she never got used to that voice. She cleared her throat and said, "Y-yeah. I've just been restless for something to happen, you know?”

Fluttershy was just about to answer Rainbow Dash when Rainbow stopped in the middle of the street, and said, "Nothing bad, Fluttershy. You know I wouldn't wish for bad things to happen to ponies, but... you know. Something to do."

Fluttershy kept going, causing the duo to resume their trek, giggled a little and said, "I know what you mean. It feels like today is a really slow day. Tell you what, Rainbow. We'll stop by Twilight's and see how she's--"

Fluttershy's suggestion was cut short as Rainbow Dash bumped into someone. He initially appeared to just be some hermit, dirtied by years of travel. His patrol cap covered his face after Rainbow Dash had bumped into it with the bridge of her nose, concealing most of his features. He wore thick, dirtied clothing that was looking extremely ragged. His short, black-brown beard stuck out slightly from underneath his cap and was just as untidy as the rest of him. His hair hung about his head like a old tapestry. Even his boots seemed really, really worn. He wore a traveller's backpack on his back that seemed mostly empty to Rainbow Dash. In his unsteady hands, he bore a walking stick made from an oaken branch. After the collision, the hermit was sent reeling, having to lean and steadying himself on his improvised cane to avoid falling.

Fluttershy seemed to recognize the person immediately, or was just reacting to the run-in, if her gasp was any indication. She ran up to him, fussed over this hermit and called out, "Tux!"

That stirred up Rainbow Dash's memory. That was a name, a name she had not heard for three years. Tux was something Rainbow Dash was not all too familiar with. A human. He stood on two legs, like her, had two hands, like her, but was so different, too. He had no snout and no fur, leaving whatever hair existed on his face and scalp to be his natural warmth. Not only that, but signs pointed to the very real possibility of him being from an entirely different world, which was strange even without the quirks that Tux himself had. He had showed up suddenly one day, seeing Twilight about a way home. After a time, things had become somewhat normal again, but Tux had left to find another means of getting back to his homeland.

And Rainbow Dash had just run into him on the day of his return.

Tux lifted his weary head, a small smile stretched out on his face. He adjusted his cap, and the two mares gasped. Both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy saw the fresh, thick bandages wrapped around Tux's head, concealing Tux's small, beady eyes entirely. The part of his face not concealed by beard or bandage managed to betray his weariness and apparent injury. Tux straightened his weary stance and looked in the general direction of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Tux finally said, in a gravelly, yet joking voice,  "Hiya. I guess I didn't see you coming.”

Twilight Sparkle did not like being idle, but there was little she could do about it. Even as a princess, and even with her new crystal castle and wings, there were times when her skill at planning out her days and weeks was not enough to stave off boredom. She sat in her seat in the map room, her slippers resting somewhere on the Crystal Empire. Because it was relaxation day, she was wearing navy blue sweatpants and simple white tee, but she didn’t care much for appearance outside of official functions. Today was her day to relax.In her hands, she held the first of a series of imported novels, the rest of which sat next to her throne/chair. She was immensely interested by facts and the workings of magic and the natural world, but sometimes, a good novel could really get your mind off things.

Especially if Ponyville itself was overdue for a monster attack. It was almost clockwork, these incidents. They had been so commonplace that Twilight wondered if she would ever be comfortable with relative peace. These books were providing a much-needed distraction from the monotony and the tension of waiting for something to go wrong.

Finally, after having lost herself fully in the first novel telling about the adventure of two rivals, Twilight Sparkle was shaken from the tale she was wrapped up in when Spike hastily entered the map room, short of breath. She was taken aback by the fact that she hadn’t heard him coming, as the pitter-patter of dragon feet on crystal was sort of a dead giveaway, especially if he was running as fast as it looked like he did. Maybe he was out of shape. Like Twilight, Spike the dragon was wearing casual clothing. After taking a few seconds to suck in some air, Spike finally told Twilight between pants, “Y-You should see this, Twilight.”

Twilight took the time to tuck a bookmark into her novel and set it down on the novel series pile before swinging her legs over onto the ground. Once she had gotten up, Twilight walked around the table and followed Spike out the door and into the crystal hallway. Spike, leading Twilight along on a more sedated pace, left her to look at the crystal walls and all the decorations on them, as well as to ponder what Spike would want her to see. Clearly, it was something that could be an emergency, but not too severe an emergency, else Spike would have resumed his sprinting pace. Before Twilight thought to ask Spike what exactly was going on, she heard voices around the corner of a t-junction, where a bay window illuminated the crystal hallway with sunlight. As they neared, she heard someone say with barely restrained annoyance, “This is hardly necessary. I can walk fine on my own.”

Twilight heard Fluttershy object, “No, you don’t, Mister. You could trip and fall!”

As Twilight and Spike neared the rounded corner at an ever-increasing pace, she heard a huff of annoyance, and Twilight heard Rainbow Dash saying, “Yeah, dude. Let us help you.”

Twilight Sparkle finally rounded the corner and saw Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash practically holding up someone as they walked. Said someone was very dirtied, and was very much not happy to be carried. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had taken up positions on either side of this stranger and were clasping his upper arms with both of their arms, helping this person along, despite his apparent objection. His face was contorted into one of annoyance, and Twilight finally saw the bandages on his face. She took in the ramifications of such a thing as the traveller said, “Jeez, girls. It’s like you haven’t seen a blind man before. I can get around on my own, thank you.”

Finally, it clicked. She saw through the beard and the bandages, and the dirt, and the ragged clothing. She exclaimed, “Tux!"

After a period of shock, Twilight Sparkle ran up to and hugged Tux for all he was worth, with him awkwardly reaching under her arms to hug her back. After separating, Twilight Sparkle took a deeper look at the bandages on his head, looked at Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, but all they could give her were saddened looks. Twilight Sparkle asked Tux, "A-are you alright, Tux?"

A huge, cheesy grin split Tux's face, and he said, "No, Twilight. I'm half-left."

This earned a groan from even Spike and a quiet sigh from Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash annoyedly asked Tux, "How can you even joke about that?"

The mirthful expression vanished entirely from Tux's face. He said, "Because I would rather be this than be defeated by what happened and have turned bitter and grim by my travels."

A heavy silence fell over the hallway, with nary anyone daring to make a sound, except for Spike, who idly kicked the floor. Ponies like the ones in the room weren’t terribly familiar with being blinded, but they could imagine how bad it must have been. Tux looked around, shifted in the grasp of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and asked, "Hello?"

Twilight Sparkle shook her head to shake herself from that dark train of thought. She smiled, gestured with a hand down the hall, and said,  "Alright, Tux. Let's get you to somewhere more comfortable."

Twilight led Tux, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy around her castle to the lounge. The click-clack of boots and hooves echoed throughout the hallways that sparkled with the brilliance of gemstones. After a while, Tux finally spoke up, saying, “Where... are we?”

Twilight tensed up for a bit, said, “We’re in my castle. Erm, t-that is to say, the Ponyville Castle.”

As they walked, Tux remarked with a whistle, "I don't remember you having a castle, Twilight."

Twilight huffed, scratched her ears idly, said, "Yeah, I'm kind of a princess now, Tux. Got my wings, crown, and everything."

Tux's eyebrows raised in surprise, and he relaxed his shoulders some. He said, "Oh. Oh! Congratulations, Princess!"

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's grip on Tux had lessened, and Twilight replied with a smirk, "Please, Tux. It's always just been Twilight to you."

Tux chuckled, and said back with a smug grin of his own, "Whatever you say, Princess."

After a pause, during which the group of five rounded a corner in the castle, Tux asked, "So, who's running the tree library, then? Spike?"

Spike rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, while everybody else grimaced and bit at their lips. His clawed hand ran over his crest scales. He said slowly, "Yeah, that tree house burnt down during a villain attack."

“Oooh,” Tux said. "Ouch. Sorry to hear that, and sorry for bringing it up."

Fluttershy patted Tux's shoulder, saying, "Oh, don't be. It happened close to two years ago now."

That did little to improve the mood by the time when the group finally reached their destination, the lounge. Tux interjected into the continuing awkward silence by saying, "So, what's happened here since I was gone?"

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders, huh?"

Everybody sat on comfy cushions on pastel couches in the lounge, lit and warmed by the mid-day sun, streaming in through two tall and narrow gothic windows. Giving everyone even more warmth was the fresh mint tea, prepared in under a minute by the Princess. Tux himself sipped from his tea cup. He’d had a change of clothes and now looked less like a weary traveller and more looked a bit like Twilight did, with more casual clothing. Spike had gone to set Tux's things in a guest bedroom, leaving Tux, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash to converse by themselves.

Twilight sipped the last of her cup, nodded. “Yep. It happened just yesterday. Everypony's really happy for them to have finally received their cutie marks. Because they have such similar cutie marks, I think they’ll be able to remain best friends for a very long time. Pinkie Pie has scheduled a party that’s set for tonight. All of us plan to be there."

Tux sipped from his own cup and smiled. "Then I plan to be there as well."

Fluttershy added, "I think the crusaders would be thrilled to see you again, Tux. First they get their cutie marks, they get to have a visit from someone they haven’t seen in a long time.”

Rainbow Dash brashly spoke up, saying, "Yeah! Remember when they tried to get their 'give an alien a cutie mark' cutie mark?"

As everyone giggled, Tux scratched his thighs contemplatively, where his own cutie marks would be if he were a pony. He could see the cutie marks of each pony embroidered on the pants and tops of each pony, but he really wasn’t curious to see a real cutie mark any time soon. He also thought back to his own misadventures with the crusaders and cringed.

Things were not going well for Tux and the Crusaders.

"Oh, my word! This is not safe!"

The brightly-lit and brightly-colored flying machine careened between streets and over roofs, dodging ponies, carts, and buildings. The spinning blades of the gyrocopter chopped the air as it spun wildly. The Crusaders were having the time of their lives.

"Wheeeeee!"

Tux certainly was not. He reached desperately for the control stick, but he was strapped into the back of the craft, with the three crusaders riding in front, with Scootaloo “piloting” the bucket of bolts. He  decided to do the next best thing, as they neared town hall.

“Pull up! UP!”

They managed to only hit the top spire of the building, resulting in the end of that prototype machine, as well as the families of the crusaders finally wisening up to the extent of dangerous behavior the Cutie Mark Crusader + Cutie Markless Man all too often engaged in. They were banned from both machine shops and forgeries as a group.

Tux chuckled, recalling more fond (and some not-so-fond) memories of when he had humored the many requests of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to help him get a cutie mark he knew he would never get. But he was fine with having no Cutie Mark. In fact, having one could mean he was turning into a pony or something. He would very much mind not doing that, and instead he would very much rather find a way of returning home.

Speaking of which... Twilight, after refilling her cup, asked Tux those fateful questions that were on everyone's mind. All eyes were on Tux..

“Tux... how did you get blinded? And did you find a way back home?"

Instantly, the nostalgic smile on Tux’s face faded. He sighed, slouched in his seat, and said, idly staring into what remained of his drink, “Yes, while it’s fun to reminisce on times past, we must move on to more pressing topics.”

Suddenly, Tux sprang back up into a sitting position, his smile having returned in full force, and said with a chuckle, “Instead, let’s focus on the past.”

“Y-you can all stop hugging me already.”

The scene was as serene as ever, with the skies as blue as the day he had arrived.

After managing to talk his way out of a web of arms, Tux straightened his jacket and tightened the straps on his travel pack, which, while stuffed to the brim with supplies, was rather modest, looking more like a student's backpack than a traveller's heavy-duty, steel framed pack. He had gotten freshly shaven and with a cropped head of hair. Normally, only military ponies would cut their hair this short, and many a pony mistook Tux for the soldier type.

When Tux had told ponies that he was leaving to look for a way home, he was certainly not expecting such a teary and large farewell group. It seemed that everyone had something to offer for his journey, and it got to the point where he had to reject their offer of food and supplies since he simply didn’t have room in his pack for them. It warmed Tux’s heart to see such a caring group of people turn up for one person. It reminded him of times past when he was back home and his family and friends would also back him up. Remembering their faces steeled his resolve to go on this quest, so even if he couldn’t permanently bridge the gap between the worlds, he would at least be able to return to where he belonged, back on Earth.

A stab of sadness gripped Tux at the notion that he would have to abandon the new friends he had made, which made him all the more convinced that a stable bridge between Earth and Equestria was the best possible outcome of this adventure. After all, a stable bridge meant that he could safely arrive to Earth in the first place. In addition, an exchange of ideas and goods could lead to greater heights.

Or new lows.

Tux had discussed this in detail with Twilight Sparkle, and it seemed that while the power requirements might not be an issue, seeing as a team of unicorns once moved the sun by themselves, (a notion that Tux suspected was misleading at best), but the problem lay not in the power requirement of such a portal (but that was certainly a factor), but in determining where Earth was in relation to Equestria, as well as getting an “anchor”, so to speak, into Earth, from which a connection could be established, and the bridge built. That knowledge was not available, and even with newer telescopes coming online, the night sky itself offered no clues to the ponies as to the whereabouts of Earth’s location.

The purpose of Tux’s expedition was to both see the wonders and other peoples of the world and to see if another means of divining his home planet’s position in the stars was available or if he had to simply work that out on his own with the help of the ponies.

If nothing else, he had faith. He hoped it would be enough. Unceremoniously, he started out. He looked back to the gathered people of Ponyville, who were all waving at him. Some were calling out to Tux, wishing him luck on his quest and safety in journey.

It warmed Tux’s heart, but it chilled when he thought of what he had laid out for himself to do. He snaked his hand into a pocket, and groaned aloud to himself. Not five minutes into his journey, and the list of things he had forgotten had already crept into his mind.

‘You are missing your winter cap!’

‘You are missing your flint and steel!’

‘What are you doing, forgetting your guidebook?!’

With a sigh and a hard facepalm, Tux turned back. It would be good half-hour before he got back to Ponyville. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be seen getting his missing things.

Splashing water from a creek on his face, Tux took another swill from the canteen he had just replenished. The journey this past week had been... uneventful. The days had started to melt into the next.

He woke up. He ate from what was in his pack, or from the convenient fruit trees, or the ever-ripening berries from the bushes. He looked often to the guide he had brought along to avoid a repeat of what happened when he mistook the nasty Tongue Twister for edible mint leaves. Even remembering the event gave Tux the shivers.

“Canyoucanacanasacannercancanacancanyoucanacanasacannercancanacancanyoucanacanasacannercancanacancanyoucanacanasacannercancanacancanyoucanacanasacannercancanacancanyoucanacanasacannercancanacancanyoucanacanasacannercancanacan...”

Tux huffed as he tried to catch his breath as well as resist the effects of the poisonous plants.

“Caaaaahgn.”

After eating, he would keep up with his travels across the forest, hills, and plains of Equestria. It would have been nice to take a train to where the human’s destination lay, but no railroad tracks led to where he was going. There was only the rolling hills and trees and gently sloping valleys, full of both ravines and rivers to be seen.

So he hoofed it. In a manner of speaking.

All the day, Tux would march. Some days, he would take a moment to appreciate the wonders of a blooming field of flowers or the splendor of the landscape as designed by millions of years of geological activity, or he would instead ignore such sights to focus on making the most headway in the day, as would prove to be the case whenever the sun was particularly bright, or whenever Tux was especially hungry.

But he kept going.

Eventually, the sun would start to set, and Tux would prepare himself a meal. After that, he would get his survival blankets and sleep under the stars. This was the pattern that defined Tux’s existence until that fateful day when he would reach Inne Sirine.

Tux wiped the excess water off his face, capped off his water jug, and reshouldered the traveling pack. He needed to keep moving. He looked up to see a mountain range ahead of him. While the task of traversing them would be awful, Tux smiled nonetheless.

He was almost there.

After a good few weeks of travel, and a few mountains crossed to the east, Tux finally arrived at his first destination. Sweating, he idly sipped his canteen as he sat upon a tall, snowy hilltop overlooking the site.

Inne Sirine. Amidst the mountain range were rolling hills in a valley, and they stretched before Tux, covered in massive redwood trees, with wisps of fog rolling to and fro. Tux took a moment to take it all in, as well as rest his weary body. The fog seemed to wander like phantoms between the trees, which stood like gravestones, which gave the place a haunting yet peaceful mood. This place was known for its beauty, but Tux also knew it was renowned for one other thing.

It was the home of the Deer Folk. They always only ever referred to themselves as such, when referring to the race or the tribe they'd organized themselves into.  From what Tux has heard of them, they seemed rather elf-like. They dabbled in the mystic arts sometimes, trades that most other races had difficulty with, even the ponies, and were known for both their impressive feats of acrobatics between the redwood trees and their impressive archery skills.

Tux hoped he wouldn't have to find out first-hand just how well Deer could let loose their famed arrows. Tux ran a thousand scenarios in his mind, gauging what might happen. He might get intercepted by the deer. He might not meet them at all. He might succeed in his mission of finding a way home from here. He might be disappointed in his endeavors.

He might be killed in there, but he might also not be. Or at least, Tux hoped he would see tomorrow pass in there without the loss of life or limb.

Ultimately, he got up off the ground and started his way down the mountains. The snow gave way to gravel, the crunching of frozen ground being replaced by the distinct crunch of gravel. As Tux made his way down, the massive trees started becoming more than just a distant, miniscule part of the landscape.

Tux felt dwarfed by the trees. Standing at the edge of the forest now, Tux could see that the fog had grown thicker, or perhaps was just less thick above the woods. Tux stood at the precipice of Inne Sirine and felt not only alone, but completely out of his league. The more he gazed into the fog between the trees, the darker it seemed to get, and the more frightful he became. Closing his eyes and shaking his head, Tux let loose a groan as he dispelled the tricks his mind was playing on him. He looked down and saw the sheathed sword at his hip. On his insistence, he had not only acquired his very own sword, but had decided to carry it with him on his journey. Many a pony said he was being overly cautious, and that he could possibly send the wrong message with displaying such a weapon on himself, but he reasoned that if he was going to be the hero of his own story, he might as well have his own sword.

If only he had taken up Twilight Sparkle’s offer of contacting her older brother to help him get better acquainted with his weapon. Hacking at wooden posts was nice and all, but Tux supposed that he was going to need more than that if he was going to go up against someone who wished him ill. As much as he wished it, he had still been lazy enough in the past that Future Tux would regret taking it easy at such a juncture. Nevertheless, he took a few deep breaths of the cold, almost icy air and tried his best to steel himself.

‘Here goes nothing’, Tux thought as he entered the oppressive atmosphere of the forest.

Almost immediately, the life of the forest almost suffocated Tux in sound and sensation. The fog hung heavy and was omnipresent, and the trees stretched into the impenetrable fog like monoliths. The ambience of wildlife in this forest was as alien as it was unsettling. Even the chirping of birds seemed warped and distorted by this place. The worst part of this trek into the woods was that Tux felt like he was being watched. Knowing the tales he heard of the Deer as he did, he probably was.

‘Maybe they’re even behind this accursed fog. That would mask their presence well.’

Tux looked up and thought about how such a creature could hide beyond[?] the limits of his sight imposed by fog. He wondered if they could see him. If they could see him, he certainly couldn’t see them, and that was certainly not how a gracious host acted. This was more along the lines of the behavior of an observer, or worse, a hidden defender or predator of these woods. Frustrated, Tux decided to break the silence.

“The woods are just trees, and the trees are just wood!”

His words echoed, half muffled by the fog. Nothing answered Tux. After a short pause, he laughed aloud. Perhaps he was just being silly. After all, surely he wasn’t actually being watched by the deer, and he would have to go further to actually see one. Besides, by yelling aloud, he might have given away his position to any would-be hostile beings, had they been watching him.

Tux took a step, and froze when he heard a whoosh, a thump. An arrow had been loosed into the ground just ahead of his right boot, penetrating the floor of the forest to stick into the ground and to stand up at an angle away from Tux. Tux only looked a moment to admire the craftsmanship of the arrow itself, which was exceedingly fine, to look ahead to where the arrow had came from.

The human saw nothing but mist. To compound Tux’s alarm, he heard soft, feminine giggling all around him, soft as if spoken into his ear, but with nobody around that he could see, it seemed as if the speaker was projecting her voice somehow. Tux spun around to try to catch even a glimpse of the denizen of the woods. As he scanned around himself, a voice said,

“For one who supposes that the trees of the forest may be harmless, our little trespasser didn’t suppose to think of what else may lie in the trees.”

‘Aw, hell.’

Cautiously looking around him, Tux strained his eyes further to see if who could spot the hidden archer. Alas, his eyes failed him in this dense fog, and he was left defenseless. Well, not defenseless. Tux reached to grasp the handle of his sword, but, after a pause, he let go of it to continue scanning the trees, while keeping his back to one of the redwood trees. The voice called out again, saying,

“Hmm, what’s this? Our trespasser is afraid, yet he draws not his weapon? How interesting.”

Licking his dried lips, Tux pressed his back into the tree and managed to reply, “I-I don’t see why I would. You simply w-wanted my attention.”

Tux could practically hear the eyebrows raise on the undetected speaker, and she asked, “Oh? What if I had simply missed?”

Tux, after sucking in a breath of foggy air, said, “W-well, you’d obviously not have hesitated to try again.”

Tux saw a flash of movement, and his eyes tracked a robed figure landing[?] in front of him. Without missing a beat, the figure drew her bow and let loose an arrow, which impacted the tree just above Tux’s head. He froze, and the ranger lowered her bow.

“Whoops. Missed again.”

Tux managed a nervous smile, and said, “S-Seriously, now. If you were going to kill me, y-you’d have already done it.”

Two more robed figures dropped down after that, and they too drew their bows, and loosed their arrows into the tree on either side of Tux’s head. Before, he had been frightened by these shenanigans, but this was getting ridiculous. They notched another arrow and pointed their bows at the trapped human. With clenched eyes and stiff posture, Tux exclaimed, “Oh, come on!”

After a moment of silence, the second robed figure stepped forward and said, “Verily, our trespasser remains, and it hasn’t been frightened off like the Diamond Dog or the Yak. Pray tell, what manner of creature are you?"

Tux slowed his breathing, relaxed a little, slid his way out of his improvised cage of arrows, and said, "My name is Tux, and I am a human being."

The three figures relaxed their combat stance and pulled back their hoods, revealing all three of them to be does. They stepped closer to Tux, where the thick fog didn’t conceal their features.

'Interesting', Tux thought. They were fair-furred, with rounded snouts and those little things female deer had from his world on their heads in place of antlers. Their eyes were not as ridiculously large as the ponies' were, but they were still rather large and expressive.

Tux looked at their bodies more closely, and--

'YEP, those are definitely massive breasts. Damn it all, these women, too?'

Tux noted with some annoyance that the deer were no exception to the cartoon rules in this world. It had females who were excessively feminine and males who were overly masculine. While Tux’s masculinity wasn’t all that much to speak of before (much to the ponies’ collective denial, if only to spare his ego), it certainly was now, after having spent some time in this world. He was still annoyed that cartoon logic seemed to apply universally to everyone here, and that such a physique could and would be universal. Of all the worlds to be lost in, Tux just happened to be stuck on a world where all the sentient females were ridiculously busty.

Tux slumped against the tree and folded his arms, ignoring the fact that he’d almost been struck in the head by arrows three times. The third doe, a shade of tan lighter than the browns of the rest of the does, asked, "What be thine intention, then, Tux the hu-man?"

Tux chewed for a bit and said, "I'm seeking wisdom and knowledge."

The first doe, a shade darker than the rest of them, finally lowered her bow, which prompted the rest of the deer to do likewise, and said, "Thou callest thyself a scholar, then? One who seeks knowledge?”

Tux scratched his face, which had grown a bit fuzzy since his departure from Ponyville, and said, "I have no illusions about what I am, and that is to say, I am no scholar. I am just a lost man, looking for answers."

The does were less than satisfied with that answer, and they each nodded to each other in turn.

"You are coming with us, Tux the hu-man."

‘Did I just step onto the set of Return of the Jedi?'

Tux kept asking himself this whilst mingling in the stag-city within Inne Sirine, and he was right to wonder this. Despite his... initial reservations--'This thing is notsafe, no matter what they say'--Tux was in Inne Sirine proper.

His previous theory about the extraordinary thick fog being an unnatural feature of this place seemed to be correct, as after he and the doe rangers crossed a certain threshold in the dark forest, he could see.

The fog disappeared from before Tux entirely, revealing an entire world of wooden houses built onto platforms on the redwood. Suspension bridges crissed-crossed between the trees, which thankfully had ropes acting as handrails. The entire scene was lit by yellow light from a thousand jars of stag magic.

Tux realized that he might have been slightly mesmerized by the sight, as he felt himself being jabbed onward. He saw a staircase hewn into the side of a redwood tree, and that it was heavily guarded. This was the way up to the community in the trees.

Boots clanking against the wood paneling and the planks of the platforms of Inne Sirine proper, Tux marveled at both the sturdiness of the structures, as well as their beauty. Intricate carvings covered every square inch of the place, weaving and curving around every bend, every corner, and every wooden implement. Weaves of vines and multicolored flowers stretched from high-point to high-point, crisscrossing the scene in the same way the bridges did outside. The place was well lit from above, as the breaks in the trees coverage provided rays of natural light, as well as the magical lanterns that helped bathe the area from below with a yellow light, making the area very enchanting.

Tux could even say the same about its denizens. Dressed in gossamers and fine silks, the Deer eyed him with curiosity and a little bit of awe. Tux eyed them right back with the same degree of interest they did, and he noted with a bit of caution that most of the males were slightly taller than him.

‘Or was that just their antlers? I would have to stand next to one to be sure.’

 For now though, Tux would have to go along with the Doe Rangers, who continued to escort him as if he was a VIP. Perhaps he was. Tux was so enamored and distracted by the sights, sounds, and warmth of the sun and the lanterns that he almost ran nose-first into the biggest stag he ever did see. With antlers that were actually bigger than the stag’s head, the white-furred stag towered over everyone there and wore clothing that was regal even to all the other clothing worn here, with gold seemingly sewn into the fabric itself in weaving patterns that shone against the white, flowing robe.

Complementing the royal dress was a simple crown of gold fashioned to look like a laurel wreath. Tux could plainly see that this stag was an official, if not the head leader.

“Welcome, Tux of Equestria. I am Galanduil.”

Tux was caught off-guard by the statement. This individual, Galanduil, had somehow knew he had travelled from Equestria, despite him never revealing his immediate or true origins anywhere near the forest.

He raised a finger and uttered, “Uh...”

Galanduil covered his muzzle bashfully, relaxed his stance and sighed, saying, “Oh, I must apologise. It is considered rude to assume, is it not?”

Tux blinked, lowered his hand, and said, “Yeah, I’m kinda from Equestria, but how--”

Snapping his fingers, Galanduil walked to the edge of a platform and grasped the engraved railing. Tux did the same, looking up at Galanduil, expecting a response. It finally came after Galanduil sighed again.

“I have to remind myself that not everyone can sense the same energies and signatures as we do. We are magical creatures, Tux. Your identity was as plain as day, as well as your origins.”

‘That’s creepy.’

“But you’re not originally from Equestria, are you, Tux? You have an underlying signature that I do not recognize.”

Galanduil had turned to look right at Tux and was apparently trying to look right into Tux’s soul itself. After noticing Tux’s adverse reaction to his close scrutiny, Galanduil reared back up to his full height and bashfully looked at Tux. Tux cleared his throat and said, “No, I don’t think you would recognize that-- uh... signature. In fact, I’m trying to find my way back to my homeland.”

Galanduil gave Tux a warm smile that reminded Tux of Celestia, nodded his head, and said, “Then you must visit our eldest stag. He may have some answers for you, for he has been here many more thousands of years than even I.”

Tux chose not to comment on that matter and listened intently. Galanduil gestured at Tux and asked, “May I take your things to your accommodations for tonight?”

Tux, after a flabbergasted pause, wordlessly handed Galanduil his pack, and after a moment of indecision, handed over his sword. After all, it was for hostile situations, and he certainly wouldn’t be attacked in a city of elf-like stags, right? Galanduil addressed the Doe Rangers, saying, “Naesala, Shialavar, Phaerl, I must commend you for your safe escort of our guest. Naesala, you shall escort our guest to Elder Haladavar. Shialavar, Phaerl, you shall resume your patrol. That is all.”

The Doe Rangers bowed, and the second and third does leapt over the edge of the railing and into the forest below. Tux stared down, dumbfounded by the casualness of such an act. When he looked back up, Galanduil was gone. In his place stood the unhooded Naesala, who was the first dark-furred deer that he had met in the woods. She looked at Tux expectantly, and when he made eye contact, she turned around and started walking off. Tux took several long strides to catch up, but he fell in step with the now silent ranger as they silently made their way across the town.

“You!”

A young stag had just singled out Tux and his companion, with a pointed finger and what seemed to be a challenging grimace, but Tux saw some nervousness in the buck’s face. The stag was shirtless, showing off his furred chest (which Tux guessed was supposed to be impressive, given how many other older males had complete body dressings), and he was apparently challenging Tux for some reason. Tux and Naesala stopped to regard the buck, and the outcry was quickly becoming the center of attention of the surrounding stag. The young buck said,

“Yes, you! My name is Gaeleath, and I challenge you so I can impress Naesala!”

Tux’s eyes widened, and his face went agape with shock and a tiny bit of outrage. His stance became defensive, and he told Gaeleath, “Look, what’s--”

“I accept.”

Whirling around, Tux turned to stare in disbelief at Naesala, who had just apparently accepted the challenge on Tux’s behalf, only to see Gaeleath charge full-tilt at Tux with a roar of raging hormones. Tux froze, and that nearly cost him his nose as Gaeleath slammed into him with a wild haymaker.

Tux was sent reeling towards the railing, and was only barely able to dodge the second wild swing due to luck. It did not stop Gaeleath from wrapping his meaty arms around Tux’s midsection and tossing him bodily away from the railing and towards the shop the platform was sitting on. Tux’s head was still spinning, and so, he missed most of what was happening as Gaeleath picked him up by the collar and started speaking, though the words were lost on Tux. In fact, the pain and dizziness got to his head, and he decided he had enough.

Tux grit his teeth, grabbed the arm of the buck and bit into the wrist, shocking him enough to drop Tux, who kneed the stallion in the groin. Adrenaline now flowed through his system, Tux’s reflective fighting wasn’t as honed or as practiced or as strong as it could be, but, having caught the buck off-guard, he now held the advantage as he socked Gaeleath in the snout, then further returned the favor by utilizing what knowledge he had of wrestling by performing a shoulder throw, tossing the slightly larger stag over his own shoulder. The now prone and stunned Gaeleath could only witness as Tux roared furiously at the poor buck, freezing him and every stag spectator around the duel. He funneled all the pent-up aggression and the uncertainty into that scream, and the human was left panting after the fact. He looked upon the frightened Gaeleath, who was bleeding from the corner of his mouth and holding up his hands in a signal of surrender. After catching his breath some, Tux looked up, expecting to see horrified faces, but instead, he saw... amusement.

To Tux’s utter bewilderment, some stags even started politely applauding him with small smiles or wide grins, as if they were spectating tennis, not a duel. Gaeleath took this as an opportunity to flee, scampering first on all fours, then on his hind legs as he legged it. Some stags parted to allow Gaeleath through, and he quickly ran out of sight. The virtual spotlight remained on the human, though, as if he had won a club game. Finally, Tux felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to see Naesala’s grinning face. “Well done. It seems that you fight well even without your sword with you. But we have tarried too long. Come, let us away to Haladavar.”

“You are not of this world.”

Tux hadn’t even had the time to adjust to the heavy smell of burning incense or the sight of the interior of the treehouse when he heard the Elder stag, Haladavar, utter this to the human. Tux paused a moment to take in both the room and the aged deer.

The walls were barely visible under all the shelves of candles and various assortment of what appeared to be implements of medicine and the like, with jars of leaves and roots and other plant matter everywhere. Flowery vines, the same that lined the trees outside, also criss-crossed each other as they made their way across the room and into the ceiling again. Finally, large, fall-colored pillows lined the floor, leading up to the sole occupant of the room, who sat at the end of it.

Haladavar was a very old stag. Deep wrinkles covered his face and arms, and his Hindu-esque pious robes seemed just as ancient as he was. That wasn’t the elder stag’s most striking feature, however. That trait belonged to the fact that his rack, which was to say his set of antlers, was large enough to warrant a set of pegs and hooks from the wall that helped the stag suspend his weary head while sitting up. Unmoving, the deer unnerved Tux.

Tux’s voice caught in his voice for a moment, and he simply said, “Y-yes, that’s right,” as if speaking too loudly would turn Haladavar to dust. Tux quietly and quickly took a seat next to Haladavar, who hummed, and slowly said,

“You come before me, seeking answers to questions most pressing on your mind. You seek home! But it is far away, and it is not a place you can reach by trail or boat, is it? I have been across this globe, and have told many tales about my own exploits that keep young does and bucks starry-eyed well into adulthood. It is sometimes said that the deer’s love of adventure has been entirely quelled by Haladavar. However, yours is a people I have not met, and yours is a homeland that even I have never seen.”

Haladavar sighed contentedly, leaning back into his seat.

“It is good to know that adventure is still possible, more than you can know. They say I have seen everything, experienced everything. The day I am surprised by something new is the day I can forget entirely about how I can no longer brawl with dragons or climb the tallest peaks. You warm my heart, Tux, for being new. If my body permits, perhaps we shall journey to your homeland. But first, you must find it! Oh, yes. It is tricky when one has lost his way.”

Haladavar stroked his ZZ-Top beard.

“However, there is something that resides in the forest that is older than even I. She is a Dryad, one of four in existence. She goes by many names, but most refer to her as the Forest Dryad, as she seems to be an avatar of the forest, since she takes after a living tree. Be wary, Tux the Human of Earth.”

Tux thought to comment on how he never explained that he was a human and that he was from Earth, but he just chalked that one up to Deer mysticism again.

“She is... not a creature as we know creatures. Take care, young human. May you be safe in your travels, and may you see many winters.”

Tux about-faced awkwardly and walked out of the elder’s abode.

“Impressive, human.”

After having been escorted to his very own hut, Tux barely had the time to take in the bed and accommodations before being accosted by Galanduil. He greeted Tux as he entered, which was starting to get old. Tux found his things neatly perched on the bed, with a quilt cover and quilted pillow. His sword itself rested point-down on the immaculate wooden frame of the bed. The human diverted his attention back to the stag as he talked some more.

“I happened to see your little brawl with young Gaeleath. I was surprised by how well you did.”

Tux paused, waiting to see if Galanduil would say something else, he admitted, “Well, it’s not all that--”

“Because you are a poor fighter.”

“Huh?”

“It was sheer luck that enabled you to gain a victory over Gaeleath.”

Tux crossed his arms and wore a cross look. Unheeding, Galanduil continued, saying, “Is it not true that you are as skilled with your body and mind as a newborn is? You have no skill at all.”

Tux rolled his eyes and groaned. His laziness, and subsequent lack of training was coming back to haunt him yet again. Galanduil giggled, with a furred hand over his mouth, and said, “Okay, so you have defeated Gaeleath. Big deal. He was a scrawny little thing, with no training, and a single-minded goal. However, how will you fare against me?”

Before Tux could ask “What?”, Galanduil was already charging.

“You okay?”

Coughing, Tux got back up and assumed the stance again. Both he and Galanduil were in a fighting ring, surrounded by spectators. Tux had, on the insistence of Galanduil, taken up residence in Inne Sirine so that he could be trained in what the deer called “the fighting arts”, though Tux drew many parallels between that and from what he knew of Earth’s Martial arts. Galanduil had been giddy to learn some new style or move that Tux could remember from Human Weapon.

“Yes, you just caught me off guard. Keep going.”

Galanduil lowered his fists, saying, “I’m sure we can pick this up when you’re feeling better.”

Gritting his teeth, Tux said, “No. I’m just constantly caught off-guard by that freaking roundhouse kick, and I have an idea.”

Galanduil grinned and came at Tux again. Tux, with now-practiced movement, deflected Galanduil’s open-palm strikes. Tux waited for Galanduil threw a roundhouse kick, then he took his chance. Closing the space between the two, Tux first blocked the kick with his forearms and grabbed Galanduil’s kicking leg. Finally, Tux stepped forward, shoved Galanduil hard and used his stepping foot to trip up Galanduil, forcing him to the ground. After coughing a bit, Galanduil smiled at the human and said,

“Well done.”

Late at night, the sound of scrawling pen on paper filled the room of Tux’s room. Tux had taken to an attempt at chronicling his adventure, and had just about finished up for the day. Tux was stuck now, because he wanted to finish his entry without it becoming standard, but the truth of the matter was that today had happened exactly as yesterday had.

Get up. Eat breakfast. Spar with fists. Read from the Inne Sirine Library. Spar with the sword. Eat lunch. Converse with Naesala or the other Doe rangers. Practice archery. Meeting with Haladavar. Get some new bruise from some buck ambushing him. Eat dinner. Write in journal, and sleep.

A knock at the door interrupted Tux’s musings, and he went to go see who it was. When he opened the door, Tux saw that it was Naesala, and she seemed... nervous? She wore casual deer clothing, which was a loose-fitting garb of cotton. She had even put on some gold jewelry, which Tux had rarely seen on her. Her eyes drifted to Tux, and from side-to-side. She seemed as if she was hesitant to be here.

After a hushed greeting, Tux invited Naesala into his abode, and they sat on earthy-colored cushioned chairs.

“S-so, what brings you here, Naesala?”

She failed to meet his eyes, finding anything and everything infinitely more interesting than the only other person in the room. Finally, after about a minute of agonizing silence, she drew a golden pendant from a bag hanging at her hip. She handed it over to Tux, who turned it over in his hand and inspected it. It wasn’t a soft golden pendant, but a most preciously carved and intricate piece of jewelry. Celtic patterns crisscrossed the pendant, and Tux soon found himself lost in the expert craftsmanship, mentally tracing all the lines to each other, and looking at the printing on the edges of the pendant.

He was caught off guard, then, when he felt a peck on his cheek. Tux froze, only to see the hasty retreat of Naesala out of his abode and into town. After an eternity of silence, Tux sank into his seat. Sighing deeply, thinking of the ramifications, Tux said simply,

“Crap.”

Back in the present...

“Tux and Naesala sitting in a redwood tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

Tux hid his face in his hands.

Rainbow Dash giggled and punched him lightly in the shoulders. Applejack spoke up, saying with a cheese-eating grin, “Why, Tux! I didn’t know ya had it in you! You sly dog!”

The teasing laughter intensified, and Pinkie Pie added, “This calls for a celebration!”

Tux suddenly stood up, stared directly at Pinkie Pie, and violently shouted, “NO!”

At that, the cheery room in the room was killed, and Tux shivered as everyone stared. He finally said, “I mean... let’s just continue the story.”

Back to the past...

Finally, after about 5 months’ residence at Inne Sirine, Galanduil had seen fit to declare Tux worthy of finally meeting the Forest Dryad. While Tux’s impatience had grown, it had subsided somewhat by the good, hot food of the locals and the fact that his training honed both his body and mind. Now, he felt much more confident in going out into the wilderness. Outside of the town, Tux, now dressed in ranger-style robes, was led by Naesala through the forest. Naesala and Tux had grown close after the fight with Gaeleath, but not quite as close as perhaps Naesala would have liked, which irked Tux. Tux had resisted Naesala’s advances, which resulted in a bit of ambivalence towards the two, and they maintained a strictly professional relationship.

Now, though, Tux had to trust that Naesala knew what she was doing and where she was going as they made their way back into the dense fog surrounding the Deer city. Tux realized with a start that they were going deeper into the forest than he had before, near the mountain on the far side of Inne Sirine valley. Smiling, Tux ducked under a branch as their rather speedy flight took them through and around brooks, inclines, and the like. Finally, the trees tapered off, and Tux looked around to see that their path had taken them above not only the treeline, but the limit of the fog as well. Tux and Naesala took a moment to appreciate the beauty of a redwood forest bathed and saturated in a serene fog. Tux internally chuckled. He had supposed that “Inne Sirine” had referred to inner peace, but he couldn’t have appreciated the sentiment or the beauty of the place before now, as well as the beauty of the settlement that was shrouded from outsiders within. After a few minutes, without a sound, Naesala tugged on Tux’s arm, and they continued their journey upwards.

Finally, they came to a point on the side of the mountain where a sheltered cave was. Inclines on both sides of the entrance were surrounded by sigils as well as displays of warning and of respect. Tux saw offerings of wood craftsmanship as well as incense. It was clear to Tux that the Deer had a very deep respect of the being that resided within the dark mouth of the cave. After they made their way to the very precipice of the cave, Tux took a moment to peer inside to see what lay beyond, besides rock and more signs and sigils. Humorlessly, and from under the shadow of her hood, Naesala scoffed and took a seat on a rock, looking towards the forest. Tux noted her foul mood with a twang of sadness, but nonetheless steeled himself and pressed onward, feet clacking against the stone floor.

Soon, he disappeared into the darkness entirely, leaving only Naesala fuming at the Cave of the Forest Dryad.

The cave walls were moist, and Tux could barely see. After all, he was deep in the earth, with no light to guide him. Yet, he could see the faint outline of the walls, the floor, and the rounded ceiling. As Tux advanced onward, he kept his hand on the hilt of his sword. It wasn’t necessary, he hoped, but that didn’t mean he could just lower his guard in such a dark place. Deeper and ever deeper into the earth the lone human wandered, and the clacking of his boots on the smooth stone was his only...

He was so intent on the end of the tunnel that he just barely missed the way the ground opened up before him, leading to a dark abyss. He found out about this only when one of his feet found empty air, and he fell soundlessly forward into the darkness. The darkness gave way to a stony slope, which Tux first slid down head-first, started tumbling sideways. The cave got tighter and tighter, until Tux’s pack caught on the lip of yet another hole. Tux coughed away some dust and checked that his sword was still at his side, but immediately regretted shifting his weight, because at that moment, the pack decided to slip, sending him a dozen feet into an underground lake. After a moment of weightlessness, Tux broke free and swam for the gravel edge.

Coughing out some water, Tux shivered and desperately tried to dry off his clothing. As he worked to keep himself from freezing, Tux stopped a moment because he heard something rather peculiar. Someone was humming, as if carrying a tune only she could hear. After doing what he could and resigning himself to heavy damp clothing, Tux shouldered his pack. He looked around the dark cavern. All around was the stillness of the lake, the sloping stone wall that arched towards the ceiling towards the hole he had fallen from, and, looking behind him, a slight glow emanating from a tunnel that he could walk through. Quietly groaning, Tux proceeded.

Tux drew his weapon. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to, but circumstances demanded that he do so. With a slight sound, he unsheathed the weapon and pointed it forward at face-level. Tux might have had confidence in his ability to fight off an attacker, but that was assuming that the attacker was even somewhat humanoid.

The bobcat-sized eight-legged thing leaping at him with mandibles clicking and hissing wildly was certainly not humanoid. It was hideous, and hairy, in that disturbing way only spiders could be. The leap the hairy spider took carried it right onto Tux’s sword point. With the sound of cracking endoskeleton and some icky, fleshy sliding, the spider was completely impaled on Tux’s sword. Somehow, it had the mass necessary to knock Tux onto his back, squishing his pack and the rations within. Tux had other concerns at the moment, however.

The spider, while weakening, still had the energy necessary to keep snapping at its jaws, dripping with a sickly green ichor. Tux straightened his arms, keeping the spider’s maw out of reach of anything Tux might wanted to have kept unbitten. Namely, his everything. With one final movement, the spider flailed, and Tux felt a stabbing pain in his lower abdomen. Grunting, Tux placed a boot under the now-stiff spider and pulled his sword out. With a dizziness that was quickly growing, Tux managed to stand up. Holding a hand to his head, he looked at the barb on the end of the spider. Though, if he was stung by the thing, perhaps “spider” wasn’t the most correct name to use. Momentarily distracted by the mysterious nature of this spiderwasp thing, Tux stared at it, thinking about what to call it.

‘Waspider? Arachwasp? Creepy thing?’

As the questions lingered, Tux felt increasingly drowsy. As he slid down the cave wall to a sitting position, Tux felt like he should be worried by something, but couldn’t figure out what it was. He also heard what sounded like ethereal giggling, but that might just have been his senses leaving him.

Then he lost consciousness.