Moving On

by BurningMockingJay

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Sad, Other, Romance, Original Character, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 8632

Moving back to your old life after leaving your traumatizing experiences isn't easy. Just ask somepony like Rainbow Strike. This is his story.

After deciding to finally push the past behind him for good and leaving it in the dust, Rainbow Strike finds himself settling back into his old life and hopes to get back on track from where he left off, patching old wounds as he goes along his journey on self recovery and finding a new job as a music teacher.

However, it has been so long since he has been back home and he worries that he won't be able to be seen as the pony he once was. Will things change or will they stay the same for the tormented soul? Only time will tell.
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Rated teen for themes!

Published 2015-11-03 03:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-08 16:43:53 UTC

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Author's Note

I thought 'Why not?', so now I have this. Truthfully, I aren't that bothered about wasting time on it when I should be moving on with my life because I'm only going to be updating it when I have new ideas and in my spare time occasionally when I have chance.

Home Is Where the Heart Is

''We're the cutie mark crusaders, we'll never stop searching for out cuuuutiiieeee mar-'' Sweetie Belle began but stopped, falling into a hacking fit as she coughed into her hoof repeatedly, trying to soothe down her sore throat after going too high with her singing.

I handed over a bottle of nearby water from my desk and she thankfully took a swig, letting out a breath of relief when she felt the cool liquid calm her scratchy vocals.

''That was good, Sweetie.'' I smiled to her. ''You sounded perfect to begin with but lost your steady tone when you went too high.'' I said to her and her face bore a frown.

''Yeah, yeah, I know. I suck at singing.'' She said lowly and I frowned at that, seeing her hopeless expression behind those dim green eyes of hers.

''Hey, now, you don't suck, you just need to practice on your tone more.'' I said in hopes of reassuring her on her doubts, using a bandaged forehoof to raise her chin to meet my eyes. ''Come on, don't doubt yourself so quickly, Sweetie, these things take time and I would know. All you need to do is concentrate and pace yourself and before you know it, you'll nail it!''

She smiled at that, her confidence renewed and her eyes lit up like green glowsticks with excitement and ambition. ''You really think I can?'' She asked me in a hopeful tone. I smiled gently down at her.

''I don't think so, I know so, kid!'' Her smile grew with great confidence and she looked behind her momentarily to her cutie mark, consisting of a shield-like shape sectioned into three colours of red, pink and purple with a star of a deeper purple colour that housed a single lighter purple musical note on the inside of it.

''Hey, Strike? Do you really think that my cutie mark has something to do with me having a good singing voice?'' She asked innocently as she turned back to me, the question taking me by surprise.

I scratched my chin for a moment as I pondered on that. I mean, come on, her cutie mark was a musical note and I have heard her sing before, hearing how angelic she sounded so why was she asking the obvious?

''Why do you ask? Your voice says it all, sweetheart. I've heard you sing before and honestly, you have a pretty unique tone. Like I told you before, all you gotta do is keep at it and one day, who knows? Maybe you'll be the next best singer since Sapphire Shores.'' I winked at her and she blushed, flattered.

''That's sweet of you to say, Strike. You aren't so bad yourself with that guitar of yours.'' She pointed her hoof over to the far wall behind me that held my guitar up on its own unique rack, the shiny red body gleaming with the light of the room behind the glass it sat behind and the chromed strings letting off a bright shine at their well maintained condition.

I smiled as I looked at it for a moment and turned back to Sweetie. ''Say, Sweetie, have you ever sang to a melody before?'' I asked as I trotted over to the guitar encased on its rack and I opened the doors, carefully taking the instrument out before closing them once again and coming back over to Sweetie and sitting down.

Seeing where this was going, Sweetie too sat down and smiled to me, indicating her answer as a no. That being enough for me, I began to move my hooves along the strings, playing chords in a soft but rhythmic manner, sliding them along the frets and letting the crystal clear notes fill the room. Even with bandages on, I could still find my way around playing notes clearly on the instrument without messing them up. It was a piece of my talent, after all.

For a moment, Sweetie sat and bobbed her head and gently swayed her body sided to side before I nodded to her and letting her know to go when she was ready and she nodded to me before she cleared her throat and began to sing.

''We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders and we'll never stop trying to earn our cuuuu-t-ieeee maaaarks!'' With her pacing in perfect sync with the tune I was playing, Sweetie finally managed to get it right and when I stopped playing after we practiced on the part, she was beaming with a toothy grin at her accomplishment.

''I...I did it! I actually got it right!'' She said happily, getting up to all four of her hooves and jumping on the spot in her own moment. I chuckled at the moment I was witnessing, smiling at her adorable act.

''You sure did, Sweetie. I told you that you'd get it right eventually.'' I said, offering my hoof to her for a bump and she giddily obliged, lightly tapping her small white hoof against my bandaged one, creating a soft 'puff' sound upon contact. ''So, do you wanna go again or do you wanna call it a day and start again tomorrow?''

Sweetie gave a soft 'Hmm' as she thought and smiled to me. ''I think I'll come back tomorrow, Strike. I need to go see what Apple Bloom and Scootaloo have been doing to the clubhouse since I've been gone. They say that they've been sprucing it up a bit.''

''Very well. Same time tomorrow? I think when you come back I'll teach you how to play an instrument for a change. Sound good?'' I said, knowing how eager she was to learn to play just as she was to sing. I didn't need her to respond seeing as I soon found herself around my neck, hugging me tightly in appreciation.

''Yes! Thank you, thank you! That sounds awesome! Would it be alright if I bring Apple Bloom and Scootaloo next time, though? I'm sure they'd love this, too!'' She asked with pleading eyes and I gave a hearty chuckle at how cute she looked with those puppy dog eyes and begging smile.

''Of course they can, Sweetie. I'd be delighted to show you girls a thing or two about learning to play music.''

''Great! Thanks again, I'll see you tomorrow!'' She grinned in excitement, happy at the agreement before she waved a hoof goodbye and took her leave, presumably off to find her friends.

Home Is Where the Heart Is - Therapy

''And you say you keep having these...nightmares?''

From my laid back position on the couch belonging to the mare whom I was talking to, I closed my eyes and sighed.

''Yes.''

''Mmm-hmm.'' She nodded, lightly brushing aside the soft pink curtain that made her mane out of her left, soft blue-green eye with a butter hoof. ''And you think it's because of her?'' I nodded slowly and she scribbled something down with a quill she held in her mouth on a notepad she had in her hoof.

This mare, Fluttershy, was surprisingly up for the challenge of being my personal therapist and unexpectedly, she seemed to have a good knowledge on how to tutor 'patients' such as myself when the need rises.

At the moment, I was laid down on her couch with her beside me in an armchair made from environmentally friendly wicker. Her little cottage was a rather homely place for a pegasus, seeing as our kind prefer to live in the clouds. But because Fluttershy is Fluttershy and the 'shy' part suits her really well, she chose to live on the ground instead. Everypony has a preference, I guess.

All around her living room, beautifully aged furniture stood in their respectful places. Between me and her was a brown oak coffee table and beside her chair was a small desk holding a two cups of tea, one hers and one mine, and next to the mugs were some small notes on these sessions we have been having for a week or so now.

Animals roamed around here and there, such as mice and rats and birds, and in various places screwed into the roof were bird houses and small platforms and perches for them to land on.

''Alright, I think I know what the problem is.'' She said, placing her quill and paper aside to the desk next to her chair and cupping her hooves professionally, looking directly at me. ''Rainbow Strike, I think you are too bottled up with your emotions.'' She said in that soft, calm and beautiful voice of hers.

My ear perked slightly and I sat up from my laying position to stare her in the eyes.

Too bottled up? R-Really? ''How...how do you mean, Fluttershy?'' I asked her and she simply smiled.

''Well, truthfully, as a friend, I think that you have issues letting go of your feelings. To me, and to Rainbow Dash for that matter, you have trouble letting go of all of your negative emotions and feelings for what's been done to you and your marefriend.''

I sighed heavily, slumping in my seat. I stared at my bandaged hooves and stayed quiet for a moment before speaking. ''I know, Fluttershy. I know.'' I said lowly. ''Rainbow Dash is an awesome sister to me. I just don't feel all that comfortable with getting all sappy and emotional when it comes to this kind of thing, y'know?'' She giggled at that.

''You know what, Strike, I do. Rainbow does the same thing.'' I laughed a bit. Me and Rainbow were more like twins than regular brothers and sisters.

''Yeah, I suppose. Things have been slow for me these past days and I don't know what to do. I mean, I was completely happy and was living the dream and I lived in the big city with my fiance where I used to be in a band with her. Now look at me, I'm a wreck.'' I said glumly.

It was true, though. I did have a wonderful life, all negatives aside, and it was the best time ever! Fluttershy was also right. I do have trouble letting go of my problems and emotions. It wasn't exactly a cake walk for me after I lost my one and only true love and even the mention of her name was enough to make my eyes sting and my heart pang with the break within it that I knew would never heal.

I looked up to her, seeing her still smiling that glamorous white at me. It brought a smile to my own lips, if not, a weak one. ''So...what do you propose?''

She reached a hoof to my shoulder. ''I propose that you talk about this with your sister. After all, you two are probably the closest siblings I've ever met. Aside from Pinkie and her siblings.'' I smiled a little more. Me and Dash truly were good with each other as a brother-sister team. At this point in time, the only thing that put me off the thought of talking to her about this was the uneasy feeling that followed in my gut.

I already talked with her and her friends back at Twilight's old library (when it was still there, anyway) about what I've done and where I've been all these years and in doing so made one of them hate me to bits (namely, Pinkie Pie) and if that happened then, what would this do?

Maybe I worry too much, too? Yeah, probably...

''Hey, lighten up, Strike. Believe me, I know it isn't easy going through what you're going through, but you still got us to talk to if you need us.'' She assured me. ''How are those doing by the way?'' She asked looking down to my bandaged up hooves with a sympathetic look in her eyes.

''Could be better.'' I said, letting her take my left hoof in her own as she carefully undid the bindings from my elbow to the end of my hoof at the bottom. I winced at the cold air that touched the singed skin.

My fur hadn't grown back fully and my skin was still reddened underneath from the electrical damage they received all that time ago. They were scarred and wrinkled, an ugly mess of an example of what high voltage, white-hot electricity can do to your body if it comes into close proximity of you.

Even though Fluttershy took me on as a 'patient' to tutor through the therapy sessions we share together, she has also been nursing my hooves with all the medical knowledge she had and she was the perfect candidate for a personal medic as well as a therapist because of all the things and methods she knew of the subject because she was also a veterinarian.

She certainly was a gifted pegasus for a shy mare. And a cute one, too. I thought to myself.

Using a specially developed dermatological solution, she applied it to my hooves and I immediately felt a burning, tingling sensation that made me cringe with the painful feeling.

''Try to relax, I know it hurts.'' She said in an almost motherly, soothing tone. Though I was uncontrollably tensed up at the tingling, burning sensation running through my hooves, I managed to keep myself from gritting my teeth from the pain.

Fluttershy spent around five to ten minutes applying the substance to my hooves and then left the room to get her first aid kit, coming back and opening it to take out fresh, clean bandages to replace the old ones.

If anything hurt other than the pain I felt each time that never went away when I or somepony else took off my bandages, it was the fact that I knew my burns would never heal. I was officially stuck with them. It may be a downside in my life, but I still was me, if not only a little changed from the things that I've been put through in my lifetime.

I thanked Fluttershy and gave her a friendly hug that she gladly returned. Sharing a smile, we both sat for a while in conversation whilst we finished our tea. We shared laughs and memories of the past and then when we were directed into a conversation concerning our friends, an uneasy thought came into my mind, one that I knew I had to ask Fluttershy if she knew anything of, seeing as how close she was to the mare in thought.

''Hey, Fluttershy? D-Does Pinkie Pie still hate me?'' I asked with a frown. Fluttershy's eyes widened for a moment and she gagged on the final sips of her tea, her cheeks bubbling up cutely and she made an 'eep' sound before she managed to swallow her mouthful.

''N-No. No, I don't think so. Why in Equestria would you think that?'' She asked with a shocked expression from the strange question. Placing my own cup aside, I looked her in the eyes.

''Ever since I told you girls my story, she hasn't spoken to me since. It's like she absolutely hates me and I honestly can't blame her for feeling that way, Fluttershy. She has every right to be upset with me and I don't hold anything against her.'' I slowly wiped my eyes with a hoof, a tear or two staining the newly applied bandage surrounding it.

''Oh, Strike, she doesn't hate you. As a matter of fact, she doesn't hate anypony. I'm sure it's some kind of misunderstanding.'' She reassured me but I didn't believe it, nor did I plan to anytime soon.

''I don't believe that, Fluttershy. I was only hoping that you may know seeing as you two are like really close friends. She's my sister's friend, too, and the feeling of her hating me over something as painful as what happened is so unbearable and it creates awkward tension between us. It just isn't right, like, at all.'' I slumped again and felt the hooves of Fluttershy wrap around me in a hug.

''Oh, I'm sorry, Strike. I didn't realize that you felt so strongly about it.'' She released me from the hug and looked into my emerald eyes. ''Listen, if it means anything, what if I talk to Pinkie on your behalf and try to find out how she feels? If that's alright with you, that is.''

''Thanks but no thanks, Fluttershy. If I'm going to do this, I need to do it myself. As much as I appreciate the offer, it's about time I start doing things myself if I'm to get my life back on the right tracks.'' I returned the hug and got up from my seat. ''Well, I think I've taken enough of your time. I need to get back to my studio. Sweetie and her friends are probably waiting for me to teach them.'' I said as I walked for the door.

''That sounds wonderful, Strike.'' She said with a warm smile. ''At least you're doing something you enjoy and you get to teach others what you know along the way. When we meet again, tell me about it, I'm sure it'll be a great story!''

''Yeah, I bet it will be. Sweetie is already becoming a better singer and it's hardly even been through the second week!'' We shared a laugh and I thanked her for the tea and said my goodbye's before leaving and heading through the door, closing it on my way out and heading back to my music studio where the three, anxious fillies are probably waiting for my arrival.

With what I had in mind to teach them, I'm sure today will be one of the best they have ever had with an instrument.

Music Teacher

Author's Note

First off, if I get any facts wrong, please do tell me and I'll correct them at some point.

Meanwhile, this will be the only uploaded chapter as of now for a while because College is so demanding and grades mean more to me and my life than writing fiction, no matter how much I enjoy it.

And hey, if you're interested, go ahead and keep up to date with me on my Facebook or Twitter! All the support you guys gives me drives my inspiration and encouragement to the max! Into the red section on my mind-rev meter! Woo! What a rush! Also, thanks for the 100 followers, you guys and gals are awesome!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010222994447
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanielRiby

Music Teacher

''So Ah just pluck the strings? Like this?'' Apple Bloom asked, lightly passing her hoof over the strings on her bass guitar in a strumming motion, making contact with the 'G' string and creating a dull, thick note that echoed softly in the room before dissipating.

''That's right, Apple Bloom. You're getting the hang of it.'' I complimented, to which she smiled. She was already learning pretty fast for a filly her age and she seemed to have taken a liking to the bass guitar I gave her.

Like her eyes, it was a vibrant orange in colour and had a polished shine to it with a tint of amethyst yellow. As for her two friends, I laid out and prepared a keyboard for Sweetie to have a go at whilst I allowed Scootaloo to use a drum kit that I had stashed away at the back of the room.

Seeing such young yet ambitious fillies was a heartwarming sight to behold and it was always a pleasure to teach the art of music to ponies who were interested. Who would have guessed that it would be me teaching school fillies just barely entering their teens?

''These are so cool!'' Scootaloo said cheerily from her stool that she was perched on behind the bass drum, giving the beater an experimental kick with a hoof. ''For one pony, how do you know so much about music? Even Vinyl probably doesn't know as much about it as you do!'' I looked over to her and smiled.

''Years of practice, Scoots. Years of practice.'' I said before heading over to the back where Sweetie Belle was stationed on a seat at the keyboard I set up for her. On her own, she barely even covered half of the bench she was sitting on and taking a seat next to her, I watched her look over the many various functions that controlled the sound output of the instrument in confusion. ''Everything alright, Sweetie?''

She scratched her head then looked at me with a frown. ''How do I know what key to press? I hardly even know any music to play on a keyboard.'' I smiled reassuringly to her.

''It's actually pretty easy, Sweetie.'' Resting on a stand was a music book that held various songs that ranged from easy lessons on playing keys and rhythm to harder levels that hooked into the levels that expert keyboard players would only be able to master. I opened it with a hoof and turned it to a song that was written by somepony around a few years ago that was really close to me.

The verses were all short in length and it didn't contain that much complications that a beginner player wouldn't be able to handle. The title written on the top of the page in black ink was in an Italic font and read 'Empty Raindrops'.

I briefly looked over the chords myself along with Sweetie and as she looked them over and saw the different key notes that made up the song on each verse, that look of confusion on her face grew.

''Alright, Sweetie, watch what I do and then I want you to copy me, okay?'' I instructed and she nodded, eager to start the lesson. With a nod of my own and showing her I was about to begin, I placed my bandaged hooves against the keys and followed the keys from the music book, going at a steady pace to allow Sweetie a clearer view on how to play the song.

I started off with a flat C and worked my way at a steady pace up to a D to not upset the rhythm. One by one, the electronic notes drifted out of the speakers at a steady pace, creating a blue atmosphere of emotions.

After around a minute of playing, I finished the first verse and looked back to Sweetie who looked back to me with awe in her eyes. ''See? It may look hard to begin with, but trust me, it is really easy. Take your time and you'll do fine.'' I motioned to the keyboard with a hoof and pointed to the first key on the far left where a single white key that was a C sat comfortable next to a C flat. ''See that there? Keyboards and pianos always start with a C key and you can identify them by finding two black keys like this,'' I pointed next to the key where a pair of black keys sat next to each other. ''Remember that they go in this order,'' I pointed back to the C and then continued on the different keys all the way up to the G before starting back at A, demonstrating it to Sweetie in the simplest way I possibly could. ''think you can remember that?''

Sweetie mouthed the keys to herself a few times and mumbled something inaudible to my own ears before her eyes brightened and she smiled sweetly to me. ''Sure, sounds easy enough. Thanks, Strike.'' She thanked me and I left her be to practice whilst I made my way towards Scootaloo, who actually reminded me a little bit of myself when I was around her age. Perhaps even younger.

She was looking over the different drums arranged around her, as if wondering on which one to take a strike at first with the wooden drumsticks I provided her with. There was the bass in front of the stool she was sat on that nearly almost covered her up from sight with its huge size and at either side of the bass were two smaller drums with a pair of cymbals on either of their sides.

When I approached her, she glanced up at me with curious eyes and she smiled. ''Everything alright, Scoots?''

''Yeah, I think so.'' She replied but then looked around in confusion as if searching for something. ''So, um...where's the music book or whatnot?''

I felt a giggle rise in my chest but I managed to suppress it. I came behind the drum kit and to her side. ''Oh, Scoots, drummers don't use sheet music.''

''They don't?'' Her ear perked and she raised a brow at me with a small shrug.

''No, they just play a beat that fits best to the genre of music. All that you need to get right is your timing. If you were in a concert and got a note wrong, it would jeopardize the performance. In my own opinion, using a standard drum kit such as this doesn't sound as good as an electronic drum kit, but this one is of a more traditional method. Want me to show you?'' I offered and almost immediately, a beaming smile found its way to her lips.

''Yes, yes! This should be awesome!'' She said giddily. What made me laugh warmly inside was that ever since she found that I was Rainbow Dash's brother, she seemed to take an instant liking to me as if she idolized me more than Dash herself, and Scootaloo absolutely adored her!

Moving aside, she allowed me to take a seat upon the stool she once occupied and exhaling slowly through my nostrils, I began to play them.

When I finished, I wiped away a bead of sweat from my forehead and when I looked up from the drums, I saw the three fillies staring at me with dropped down jaws and admiring, sparkling eyes.

''That. Was. Awesome!'' Scootaloo praised with a jump into the air and a flap of her wings as she performed a small backflip before landing.

''Yeah, that sure was somethin'!'' Apple Bloom joined in, giving a short round of applause with a stomp of her small hooves against the floorboards along with Sweetie.

''And that, girls, is how you use a drum kit!'' I said with a proud smile. Huh, didn't know I still had it in me. Thanks, Beats. I thought as I removed myself from the stool and let Scootaloo back on it before hoofing over the drumsticks to her.

''Hey, Strike? How did you even learn to drum like that?'' Scootaloo asked me, turning back towards me from her seat on the stool.

''The same way that I learned to play my guitar: years and years of practice. I owe it to my friend, Beats, for showing me how to do that one.'' I said with a beaming pride in my heart and a smile on my lips that transformed into a cocky grin as a thought drifted through my mind. ''I told the same thing to Sweetie - you'll never know where learning to play an instrument will get you in life until you learn to master it and get to know it. Trust me on that one.''

Scootaloo grinned a grin that matched my own, close to Dash's trademark grin that came with the tomboyish attitude to match.

''All of you can make something of yourselves with an instrument if you really put your mind to it and the paths that will open ahead of you when you master them are truly awesome, and take that from me. I've been there and if you choose to go that way, you won't regret it.'' Or at least not as much as I did after making all the wrong choices....

''Maybe we could form our own band!'' Apple Bloom said with an inspired and ambitious gasp, followed by her fellow Crusaders who shared her expression.

''Yeah, maybe we could be the next best band Equestria has ever seen!'' Scootaloo chimed in.

''Maybe we can even impress Sapphire Shores, too!'' Sweetie said with an enthusiastic smile of her own, grinning along with both of her friends.

With that ambition in mind, the three of them all got together and raised their hooves together in one big high-hoof-five and they all exclaimed 'Yeah!' in unison.

It wasn't until moments later that they all began to practice playing their instruments and making some noise.

Today was without a doubt going to be a long one.

Memories and Good Times

Author's Note

Pay attention!

This chapter may be incredibly short and bite-size, but pay close attention to the story as it progresses and you'll all see that this chapter plays a huge role on the story itself and the connections it has!

For those who don't get it in upcoming chapters, I'll explain it to you if you ask!

Memories and Good Times

I've been back in Ponyville for almost a year now and after what happened, Rainbow Dash, my sister, was kind enough to offer me a place to stay at her house where she promised me I'd be safe.

It wasn't something that I was used to, being up in the sky, seeing that I originally spent most of my life living on the ground. The only other pony I knew in town who preferred ground life against sky life was Fluttershy whom was also a pegasus. Other pegasi may think it's strange for a pegasus to live on ground other than in the sky because of tradition, but quite a few chose it over the sky life.

It was also nice to know that I could keep Dash company in that huge mansion of hers. It was a rather spacious mansion with some of the fanciest cloud designs I've ever seen in a cloud house and the decorations and effort she put into the work was truly stunning to behold from either up close or afar.

In my opinion, the best addition to the home that gave away who occupied the residence was the rainbow waterfalls, cascading off of the edges of the structure of the building and the foundations and over the sides in multi coloured hues that made every vibrant and radiant colour of the rainbow.

Rainbow Dash even gave me a spare room located next to her own bedroom and that way, we could always be close to each other. It may only be temporary for now, should I choose to move to ground, but I doubt I'd ever make a switch from it. It felt cozy being back in the sky after all these years of being away from it all.

My room was big enough to accommodate myself and some of my belongings, along with a cloud bed that I brought in myself not so long ago and crafted it into a size that I was satisfied would be big and comfy enough to take my size and be strong enough to hold my bodily mass.

Though pegasi did possess the ability to walk on clouds, it didn't mean that the weight of the user didn't affect it.

Currently, I was left on my own in the mansion and like usual when I was alone, I found myself staring at my guitar that was sitting snug on my lap.

Just looking at it now, looking back over the years and reminiscing on all the times I've had with it, both good and bad, I was left wondering if it was such a bad thing or not that I left when I did. I mean, I wouldn't have ever taken up the hobby of playing instruments and soon making them a huge part of my life and that includes when it comes to teaching ponies on how to play them, like I was doing with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

I probably wouldn't have ever met my fiance, either, meaning that the band we formed together wouldn't have existed and we wouldn't have been as rich as we were with all that we made together in that time.

That was a separate thought though, one that drowned my still aching heart, no matter how much I was wanting to deny it.

My fiance.

I never wanted to say her name out loud and the mere though of that name that belonged to her stabbed me in the heart. She may be gone from my life, but she surely was still in my heart and always would be. She was by far the most wonderful mare I could ever have the pleasure of meeting. Heck, even ending up in a sadly cut short relationship where we were engaged was on of the best things to ever happen to me when I least expected it!

Thinking of her, I looked across to a cloud table that sat directly in front of me and to a small, framed picture that sat comfortably behind the glass, displaying a moment caught in time of both me and her, at a bar that I remember perfectly was the first time I asked her out and we both ended up getting drunk.

That's what I loved about her; she wasn't just a pretty face and a talented, young mare, she was also a wild-hearted party animal. Placing my guitar aside and laying it gently on the plushy cloud bed's surface, I got up and made my way towards the framed photo and took it in my hooves before retaking my seat on the bed and staring at it, almost as if it put me into a trance.

The memory of the photo still played in my mind like it happened only moments ago and despite all the negativity my mind was rolling in, it managed to bring a smile to my lips.

I still felt the exact same love I felt for her ages ago as I do now. She may have been taken from me, but my love for her didn't and never will be taken from me.

Pulling my hooves closer to my chest, I pressed the photo tight against my chest and I let myself fall back onto the bed, laying down with my head to the wall as I closed my eyes, letting my emotions course over me whilst a long, empty sigh escaped through my nostrils.

The Manehatten Tour

Author's Note

Expect these when it comes to future chapters!

The Manehatten Tour

Five years ago

Manehatten was skin-bitingly cold during the winter in Equestria and the night was already into its late hours and sprinkles in the sky that were brightly shining stars illuminated the black canvas like a fireworks display in the cloudless skies above.

In the centre of the lit up city, swarms upon swarms of ponies bustled about and were filing themselves into the Manehatten City Stadium that was thankfully large enough in capacity to hold the quantity of tonight's audience of ponies for the show.

In the back of the stage, the performers in tonight's band were all checking and rechecking equipment, from amplifiers to guitars and electronic drums, the range of the instruments used all appeared to be in a well maintained and functioning order.

Two ponies, sat out back on a small platform with their hooves around each other's backs gazed up at the sky with their heads snuggled against each other. One, a young stallion, had a light blue coat with green eyes and rainbow mane and the other, a mare of around the same age, had a two-tone yellow and orange mane with a slightly darker toned yellow coat with eyes to match.

''You know, this'll be the last tour.'' the stallion said, gently hugging the mare with his free hoof. The mare snuggled her cheek deeper with his and kissed it before looking back to the sky.

''That's a good thing,'' She said with a soft sigh. ''means we can finally get a good sleep for the first time in a long time.'' She yawned.

''It's only been a couple months.'' The stallion said with a hint of confusion in his voice. ''Plenty more tours will be coming up after it, but at least we'll get to spend some time with each other over Hearths Warming holidays.''

The mare chuckled, a cheeky smirk crossing her lips and she peeled her eyes from the sky to direct them into the stallion's green eyes with a lustful look behind them.

''Oh, yes, then you'll be tired.'' She grinned wickedly and clenched both her hooves around the stallion's back and pushed him down as a blush ignited upon his blue cheeks, like two glowing pink orbs in the darkness and his lips came into contact with the mare on top of him.

Regardless of how deeply the mare wanted him, the romantic and tender moment between the two was broken and brought to an end when a voice called out from the inside of the building, the owner of the voice standing in the doorway.

''Hey! Are ya'll love birds ready to do this, or what?'' Looking up in surprise, both the mare's and stallion's cheeks burned intensely at the sudden appearance of their friend, Blaze. He stood watching them with his crimson eyes hidden beneath his trademark, black Stetson cowpony hat and he stifled a laugh as his two friends climbed off of each other and back to their hooves. ''So, havin' fun?'' He grinned.

''Killjoy.'' The mare huffed and Blaze laughed as she trotted past him, brushing his side with her own as she did so and made her way back into the backstage area of the stadium.

The stallion turned his eyes on his friend with a blush and Blaze smiled an all knowing smile back. ''C'mon, Strike, ya mare magnet, we got a show ta put on.'' Strike only gave a short chuckle and hugged his friend for a moment until he felt Blaze's hoof gently push him back a little and when he gave him a confused look, he spoke at a whispering level, making sure nopony else was around to snoop in.

''So,'' He began. ''when are ya gonna ask her?'' Strike blinked and sighed shortly out of his nostrils.

''I don't know, Blaze. You know that I like her and we've only known each other for like five or so months. I aren't that fast with the ladies, you know.'' Blaze guffawed.

''Your ways with them suggest otherwise, lover-boy.'' Blaze smirked and nudged his friend's shoulder and he blushed. Strike lightly punched him back.

''S-Shut up. You're only jealous.''

''Nah, Ah'm spoken for. Good luck with her, by the way.'' He turned and made his way to the door, fully disappearing for a moment before poking his head back and saying, ''Don't keep her waiting.''

''Thanks, Blaze.''

Therapy Session Two

Therapy Session Two

''So, how have you been lately, Strike?'' Fluttershy asked me with a voice as gentle as the calm expression behind her eyes. Her notepad was being held in her hooves that were resting comfortably on her lap and she kept her eyes fixated onto mine from my sitting position across from her on her couch. ''No nightmares or feelings of anxiety?''

''No, nothing. I feel pretty great, in fact.'' I said with an honest smile and Fluttershy's face brightened at hearing that. Within moments, I felt her clamp herself around my barrel in a friendly embrace and her curtain of pink mane tickled my muzzle. I almost didn't realize that I was blushing.

''Oh, that's wonderful to hear!'' She said with a bright smile, pulling away and looking me in the eyes once again. ''Not even about Rem-'' She was stopped by my hoof lightly touching against her lips, disabling her from speaking that name out loud. If there was one thing I didn't want to hear, it was that.

''Don't say it, Fluttershy. Just...don't.'' I said with a deflating sigh, retracting my hoof from her lips and placing it back by my side. Fluttershy watched me with a worried expression. ''I've been fine with my anxiety in general and all, but not with...her.'' I gently rubbed my eyes with my hooves, the bandages getting a little wet from the contact. ''She's gone and I know it, but for some reason, I can't stop thinking about her. She was my fiance, Fluttershy. What was done to her was horrible and no matter how hard I may try to forget about it, I can't.''

''Hey, hey, it's alright, Strike.'' Fluttershy pulled me into a hug once more as I could feel the tears coming. ''It's okay to be upset about something like that. That's what I'm here for. You aren't a bad pony for feeling that way.'' She tried to reassure me.

''I am a bad pony, Fluttershy! I should have been there for her and she died because I wasn't! I've killed ponies! One of those ponies was one of your friend's grandma who used to babysit me years ago!''

Fluttershy pushed her hooves against my chest and pierced my eyes with an emotion I haven't seen before behind those calm eyes of hers. I couldn't speak nor could I comprehend what was happening and for once, the normally timid mare appeared to be actually kind of scary to me.

''You need to stop. Right now. You are not a bad pony and you have many friends who care about you, especially your sister and Apple Bloom and her friends.'' She said firmly, her hooves pressing surprisingly tight against my chest, the pressure nearly making me wince. ''Do you care about them?'' The question rang in my ears and took me back, my brain seeming to cease to work at hearing it.

Yes, I truly do care about them all. Those fillies look up to me and I'm pretty much an inspirational figure to them, if not, like a big brother. My sister absolutely loves me and I loved her back and so do her friends who became my friends. Well, all accept for Pinkie who hates me.

''Yes. I consider them a part of my family.'' I said quietly, my ears drooping a little.

''Then stop thinking like that!'' She said, removing her hooves and taking the pressure off of my chest. ''You aren't a murderer and you certainly aren't anything in between or anything of the kind. You're family to us and we care about you.'' She held my hooves in her own and that gentle look she gave me calmed my nerves.

I moved in and hugged her. ''Thank you, Fluttershy. It means a lot to hear that.''

''You know, there is one thing left that needs to be cleaned up.'' Fluttershy said softly and when I broke from the hug and gave her a confused look at what she meant by that, she looked into her kitchen area that was located off to the left hand side of the room and motioned with a hoof in a waving gesture as if calling somepony or something to come forward.

My heart froze and my whole body tensed and the world seemed to play in slow motion as the figure stepped out from the kitchen and came forward.

Entering the room was Pinkie Pie, a surprisingly calm smile upon her lips that caught me off guard and she gazed over at me with gentle, ice blue eyes. She came over to me and I could feel my nerves begin to tremble beneath my skin.

Beside me, Fluttershy sat close to me to the point she was physically touching me and she rested a comforting hoof on my lap, easing my shivering body.

''Hey.'' Pinkie said quietly. ''How have you been?'' She asked, moving closer towards us and taking a seat on the small armchair Fluttershy once occupied, never once taking her eyes of mine.

''Uncomfortable. So uncomfortable right now...'' I said lowly but it didn't go unheard by the observant pegasus beside me.

Nudging my shoulder with her own, she spoke softly to me. ''There's no need to feel uncomfortable. I know you wanted to do this on your own, but I thought that you'd never get it over with if you didn't do it sooner. I asked Pinkie to come along and to listen before any of this could happen, so you don't have to worry about filling her in.''

Pinkie smiled to me. This was crazy. She nor Rainbow hardly knew me until a few years ago and shortly after that, she found out that I was the reason she hasn't heard anything from her grandmother because of what I did and now she was here before me, smiling and acting calm? This was too weird, even by Pinkie's standards. I thought that she'd try to lash at me or something over knowing what happened!

''Aw, don't be like that. It couldn't be that bad that I heard all of what you were talking about with Fluttershy, can it? I mean, in a way or two it was beneficial and you don't have to explain things to me, Strikey.'' Oh, great, now she's using my old pet name. How could this get any more awkward on the already flooded scale of awkwardness?

''No, no! You know what, this is too weird! It's one thing that you know of the bad stuff I've done, but eavesdropping on the therapy sessions? This is just plain messed up! But not that long ago, you said you hated me to my sister and I heard it!'' I said, my voice shaking slightly and my nerves began to spasm weakly from the anxiety I could feel slowly building up.

Pinkie held a straight face, or at least, she was trying to. ''Strike, even I give ponies a second chance to prove themselves and that goes the same for even all you may have done in the past. I don't hate you, at all. You are a good pony, you only made some mistakes that need to be fixed so that your life can be put back on the right tracks.''

''B-But-but! Wha-you-!'' I stammered, struggling to utter a simple sentence that could express my confusion that continued to grow over Pinkie's sudden change in attitude. I took in a deep breath and held it, covering my eyes and hanging my head down, feeling the hooves of Fluttershy lightly make contact with my back.

I didn't know how to feel at this point in time and my mind was racing in pure confusion, feeling as if it was going to break down. My whole body was still tensed up to the point that it ached and my chest started to feel heavy from the trapped air circulating around within it, telling me that I should let go, but I didn't want to. Holding it in until I passed out seemed like the only easy way of getting out of this one and to keep myself from doing anything stupid.

I could hear a voice from beside me that I assumed was saying something along the lines of ''Stop it'' or ''Relax'' but to my ears, it was only received as a muffle.

Despite the numbness I was feeling from my lack of breathing mixed in with my convulsing thoughts that were rampaging throughout my brain that felt like it was going to snap, I could feel Fluttershy's well-trained hooves gently rub my back in a soothing, smooth motion and the tensed muscles beneath my fur began to slowly ease down and return to normal, calming me down and I found that my breath released in the process, leaving my lungs gasping for air and I fell forward for a moment before Fluttershy caught me and swerved my body around in alarm, posing me in a laying position on my back on her couch.

My lungs were pounding heavily and my heart rate wasn't making it any easier for me to get my breathing back under control by making it feel as though somepony is using a jackhammer to pry open my ribcage.

Through my blurred vision, I could make out the yellow figure of Fluttershy come closer and I could feel her warm breath on my face before she unexpectedly touched her lips against mine, releasing her own warm and sweet-tasting breath into my system in a share of oxygen to help get my breathing under control, igniting a small blush upon my pale blue cheeks.

When she released, I began to sputter as and sit up right as I felt my respiratory and heart rate slow down and return back to their normal paces, allowing me to calm down and regain my composure.

Blinking hard, I looked over to Fluttershy to see her looking back at me with a relief filled eye whilst the other one was hidden behind her curtain of pink mane. In her current pose, I thought she looked pretty cute.

''Oh, thank Celestia, it worked. I was worried that you were going to have a heart attack for a moment there.'' She said, sighing softly and coming closer to give me a brief hug. As for Pinkie, she shared Fluttershy's relieved but concerned expression.

''Yeah, Strike, what gives? One moment you were fine and the next you were all floppy-floosy!'' Pinkie said in a slightly deflated tone. All I could do was sigh and face her with sad eyes.

''Anxiety attacks.'' I said bluntly. ''Ever since Stockholm, I've been suffering with chronic anxiety. Specifically, panic and stress. Fluttershy's the only one who knows enough about it enough to help me through it and since I don't feel comfortable around doctors, she offered to help.'' I smiled over to her for a brief second and she returned it. ''Normally, I've been drugged up on amitriptyline and anxiolyctics to keep me in line, but it only made things worse, so in the end, I stopped taking them.'' I admitted, letting the weight of it off of my shoulders.

Pinkie frowned sympathetically and simply asked me, ''Haven't you been through enough?'' At that, my ears drooped slightly.

''I'm trying to make it right. Anxiety aside, all I want is for my mistakes to be patched and my life to be put on the right tracks again. Well, with the help of Fluttershy, of course.'' Fluttershy blushed a soft hue of pink and you smiled to her.

''You know, Strike, if you want some place to start, perhaps you'd like to help me in the kitchen tomorrow at Sugarcube Corner? We'll have the shop to ourselves since the Cakes will be out and they're taking the twins with them, so it'll be just you and me.'' Pinkie offered and my ears immediately perked up at the idea of being in the kitchen of the bakery.

It was something that I used to pay not much mind to but soon got into it with the help of Granny Pie when she babysat me when Mum and Dad were out on their nights together. Perhaps it would do me some good to get back into the swing of things. I don't even remember the last time I even baked something.

For the first time since what felt like forever, I felt a warm feeling in my chest and a smile made its way onto my lips.

''Sure thing, Pinkie. Sounds good.''