Applebottom Jeans

by Jake Witt

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character
Length: 10774

You don't like ponies? Let me fix that. Welcome to Not-Equestria where magic ponies are few- I'm not going to be a spoil sport. Check it out for your tiny sister, at least!

Meet the main 6!
Applebottom Jeans "Apple Jack".
Rarity the Marshmallow or Pillow.
Fluttershy the Tree.
Rainbow Dash the flying Human.
Pinkie Pie... the "What?"
and Twilight the Book... wrong book.

Watch them fight for Princess "Oh god, it burns!" and save... NotEquestria!

I forgot if I was going for comedy or crackfic.

Published 2015-12-16 04:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-10 15:23:50 UTC

S1 Episode 1/2: Friendship or something.

Author's Note

This is a story for nonBronies who don't understand why we like multicolored tiny horses that could easily crush our skulls in or they're extra appendage or mythical creature friends, foes, and random problem.

This will start off like any other... without the main characters and following Season 1 Episode 1. But this isn't copy, add, paste no no NO! I will write from memory because humans have better memory than ponies. Now let's start without our mane character!

S1 Episode 1/2: Friendship or something.

Hello, viewer! Yes, you! Let me drop some back story in this fan story and I assume you like stories in stories!

Once Upon A Time...
There were two princess sisters who moved the sun and the moon. We have no idea what the sun sister looks like nor do we know her actual name yet everybody loves her because you always see that coffee table that stubs your toe. The moon sister was a big unicorn with wings, who hated her side job of going to little girl's birthday parties... even though they were more like silent gatherings with a pony being the only entertainment.

Moon sister had enough of that crap and turned into a blue human "vice principal" with impossibly long legs. Everyone thought it was racist that she wasn't any normal human skin color so then she turned... a darker shade of blue and tried to bring eternal night.

There was a fight and unlocking of final forms before the sun sister used the "Elements of Reasoning" to banish her to the moon, leaving a face on the moon to judge you at night. There's some prophecy that she would return to bring night eternal in 1000 years from her banishment date. In the meantime...

"...that is why butts are called moons."

Under a tree, in a big fancy city, a big ~~purple~~ lavender book with a pink six point star taped over a title was reading a book. It was apparently her favorite spot, but we don't judge a book for reading near a river even if she has colorful, laminated pages.

Her eyes were printed on her spine, her mouth underneath as she looked to be thinking. Her lock was out of place, swinging on a strip of leather attached to her book back or "right side" as she calls it. Her pages along with pink and purple sticky notes swayed inside her binding. "Oh god, it burns! That's this weekend!" She stopped leaning, locking herself shut. "I have to warn the princess!"

With the small book placed in her book bag, she hopped towards her library.

Passing a bridge, she was stopped by two romance novels and a blue textbook. The yellow book stopped her, "Heeey Twi-t Spar! You coming to Moon Dancer's partay today?"

The lavender book, Twilight Sparkle, stopped in her tracks. The diary/journal placed her lock on the yellow book's shoulder, "Sorry. The end is near and I must contact my teacher! Also, tell her I know what she did to the dictionary."

She hopped as fast as friction could let her as she left the three books to stare at each other awkwardly.

We all know Spike. Spike is still a tiny baby dragon-

Our thoughts were caught as Twilight swung the door open, breaking it around Spike who kept his ground. "Spike? Spiii- Wrong lines."

Spike tossed the chunk of the door away from him with enough force to launch it through the open window and hit Moon Dancer. Spike sadly looked down at the destroyed present/apology letter in his grasp before dropping it to the ground. "What is it, Lord Peasant?"

"I need you to send the princess a letter. It's important."

Spike wasn't going to waste his time with a scroll, willing paper and ink over to him. He glared at the quill, making it look like he was writing again.

"Dear Princess "Oh god, it burns", I have reason to believe that feces will hit the osculating device this weekend. The return of some tall blue human with moon powers is predicted to be nigh. Your faithful student under "T", Twilight Sparkle."

In a blast of green fire, the scroll turned to smoke and flew to the castle. A response was made instantly on Spike's loathed type of scroll.

Twilight turned to him, "What does the weedogram say?"

Spike read the weed scroll, "Don't do drugs- ironic -and go to that town near the Everfree forest. Please, get some friends, it'll be fun."

"But I already have friends!"

"According to the response section, "You could do better."" Spike replied, a hint of care surfacing at the prospect of leaving Canteenlot. "Well, I'm packing our crap."

The royal taxi finally met the ground in Personville; it was dubbed "the crazy taxi" for many reasons, one of which Twilight and Spike learned. The guard driving the vehicle was a white monkey in gold armor, who demanded payment at first before remembering his orders and leaving our two characters behind to drop their stuff off somewhere.

The book that stood twice as tall as Spike looked around. "Well, I hope the citizens here like books."

Spike, overcoming the rare feeling of fear, looks around at the nearly empty town, "Or in your case, nerdy, magic, science fanfics."

"Did somebody say fanfics?!" The two looked over a pink velociraptor with cotton handy hair and blue eyes. Before anything could be said, she let out a long gasp that showed her bloody teeth before running off.

Spike glared at the spot she was at, "Clever girl..."

There was something about a pair of apple bottom jeans wearing a jean jacket over a non-existent body having an "Apple family reunion" whatever that means. Did you know books can get fat?

Luckily, our hero lost some pages in an encounter with an awesome character! The only human so far with the ability to fly without real wings, dresses out of style, has peachy skin, and an athletic build... what destroys it is the rainbow hair. I'd go for the underdog shtick, but now this is dumb.

She clears the clouds as fast as a memorable catchphrase, making pages and sticky fly everywhere in her glory as she dried our book... that fell in some mud.

Take.

Care.

Of.

Your.

Books.

Kids.

Not involving vampires Twilight hopped over to Town Hall, not even attempting to fix her crappy organization of stray notes and pages. She's even leaving a trail! Luckily Spike is there to incinerate everyone. It is unknown if the pages mean anything like memory, but Spike is taking care of business.

In the decorated Town Hall, Spike found a living version of one of his few loves. "Oh god, it burns. It's a marshmallow with purple curled hair." Twilight is lavender so he stopped fully caring.

The Marshmallow turned on her tiny marshmallow hooves, her mane flowing behind her as she showed her beautiful... angry... face.

She had blue eyes with matching eye shadow. The color of Spike's emergency gem stash. Twilight refuse to give him his daily emerald; the stash saved his life. He loved that stash of disgusting gems.

"Excuse me?! I am not a marshmallow. I'm a silk pillow lady." He really loves his rest. He has to live through every oh god it burns day awake and working. "My name is Rarity- And you look like a mess! Let me help you!"

Our image character took our not title character, the book girl, over to a secluded part of the room. Girl stuff like makeovers.

We then meet a yellow tree with pink leaves, who is teaching birds how to sing in a bird choir. You're not high; the world is still saying "hello" to you.

The tree turned out to be a pony-shaped plant that can move on will.

Twilight and Spike neared the pony-tree, "Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle! How's the progress with the fire proof bird choir?"

"I'm Fluttershrub... I don't like you."

"Can you speak up, please?"

"I'm Fluttershrub; I hate books." The tone was a mix of sweet and venomous.

Twilight nervously looked anywhere but the tree, "I like trees."

"All of you infidels will burn and be our fertilizer."

Spike smirked, an easy feat that held purpose to those that saw him.

"Is that I dragon?" Fluttershrub asked, her sweeter tone returning. She pushed Twilight away, leaving her in a tiny crater Fluttershrub's standing made. "A baby dragon?!"

Spike's smile fell and Twilight felt cold, "I can burn you."

"I'm a tree with a mouth; I don't need to eat your remains."

Ms. Sparklepedia dragged Spike behind her as Fluttershrub followed, continuing their calm banter until they reached the library.

"...and I was partially raised and repeatedly resurrected by our sun god."

Fluttershrub didn't repond, instead she walked up to the Golden Oaks Library. The library was a tree that was made into a library without dying due to magic. "Hello Grandfather," she said, her rooty hoof rubbing the door's frame.

Twilight felt nervous and creeped in one sitting, opting to use Spike as an excuse to leave the tree... which resulted in Spike carrying her after a failed attempt at kicking him through the door. The room was darker than their current mood.

Silence.

Spike looked around, "Either you people surprise us or I start making sacrifices to the Smooze."

The lights shot on, shocking Twilight and receiving an eye roll from Spike. Creatures filled the library, which was decorated for a party.

Suddenly a pink pony screamed, "Surprise! Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm so sorry about earlier."

Twilight rose an eyebrow, "Earlier?"

The tall pink lamp giggled, "I stare, you stare, he glared, and I was like "gasp!" and ran off."

Spike stared at the pink elephant, "Lady, can you stop changing shape?"

Pinkie twirled her pole body, since she had no neck, "No-can-do! I'm a what and a what is a what and can not be a noun."

Twilight thought about it, "But you must count as a person!"

Pinkie responded by being a rock; anything in an attempt at a conversation gone in an instant. Twilight rolled her eyes, finding a bowl of red ink next to the punch bowl and downed a cup of the stuff.

Fluttershrub walked passed stating, "This a Pinkie party; there's hot sauce in every drink. Burn."

Spike is tired of this meaningless stalling; we find ourselves in a huge crowd in Town Hall. Everyone who had a mouth gasped (and silently cheered) that their face-burning goddess was replaced with some crazynavy blue human chick in armor promising night eternal... and less segregation for pastel colored people.

Which is still only one person. Less segregation for herself. Yay?

With everybody's worried looks and Spike willing himself into part 2... this really is "To Be Continued", isn't it?

S1 Episode 2/2: There's no racism here; we just don't like blue humans.

If you are looking for Spike; he's not in the episode. But you know what is?

A creepy forest!

Twilight paused in her hop; looking back she saw the random objects and two humans from earlier. "...and why are you five following me?"

"The six of us were dropped into this forest without exposition reasoning," the Pinkie human said. Her fashion sense of tall boots distracted everyone taller than her from the unnatural pink skin color.

Apple Jack whistled through her zipper as her jacket arms crossed, "I'd like some boots like that."

"Maybe with some fur," Rarity added from Fluttershrub's back.

Pinkie boots smiled as she followed herself over to Twilight, "So... why are we here?"

"The blue human lady moon princess... thing is bringing eternal night and escaped into this creepy forest!"

Fluttershrub glared at her, "Why? Because they have faces and promote musicals about bravery?"

Everyone looked around, Rainbow adding, "Nooo?" as the others nodded.

"I really hate you books, but I'll not hold too much of a grudge. I'm very kind like that." She continued along the path until Twilight transitioned back into the leadership role.

"And then a manticore showed up to kick their-" Everyone stared at the ferocious manticore while Pinkie said, "-butts!"

Rarity tossed herself at the beast, making it stagger after the "pomf" collision. The (marshmallow/pillow) ran back to safety, hopping into where Apple Jack's torso would've been if she had a body. "And then she hopped out to avoid RariJack shipping. "My apologies, dear." she added when she reached ground level."

...alright? Ahem.

Fluttershrub planted herself into the ground near the manticore, holding the beast up and taking out the needle in its paw. She uprooted herself, giving the monster a hug as it licked her. The shy shrub planted a pear and stuck it on his tail, "Now just hide in a bush until something small comes near. Pear squirrel is good; I've been told."

It nodded and skipped away before cutely diving into a bush in the distance.

They shrugged the whole encounter off like it was nothing, "soon finding a giant gay sea monster with half of a mustache. It was so whiny and gay that Rarity gave him some of Fluttershy the tree-pony's tail extensions for a mustache." Needless to say, Steven Magnet was happy and Fluttershrub was livid.

"Oh hey, adventure!" Pinkie ringed.

Rainbow stepped inside of the phone booth, lifting the phone to her head, "No Pinkie; that's a broken bridge."

Dashie got REKT no scope with an apple, pushing Pinkie over to Fluttershrub, "I thing AJ needs help."

Over by the bridge, a lone pair of jeans was trying to pull a purple book up a nearby cliff; Apple Jack used so much force to toss her apple, the top part of her fell off.

"Wake Rainbow," "she said," "She's the one that can fly."

"But you can make strong roots!" Pinkie protested.

"Actually, I think I'm fine," "Lazy Dash said, preparing to run." But then she stopped, "Never mind, I think Fluttershrub should do it."

"After a pointless narrative argument, Rainbow saves Twilight Sparkle book just like in the pony-canon version."

No, Fluttershrub saves her.

"Fluttershrub hates books, Twilight is a book, a book with the same name is hated by all, Twilight is taking residence in Fluttershrub's Grandfather, and original Fluttershy wanted to be a tree."

I still want Fluttershrub to save her.

"Too bad. Also, there's a fog that blocks the view of Rainbow Dash as she flies over to grab the other end of the bridge. Go on."

There she meets three blue skinned Wonderbolts with the very original name of Shadowbolts. *I'm taking a breath.*

Rainbow shakes her head, "Sorry I can't join you."

"They never asked yet."

"But if I were blue I would die, if you were green you would die, and it isn't easy being green," she referenced smugly, "Also I have my new friends, you know."

"No. They don't know. In fact, why are not letting them speak?"

They're blue.

"That's offensive towards Luna and that blue guy that drinks silver. I think it applies to the blue man group? I don't care."

Rainbow returned the rope bridge to the group, making it possible to cross. Rarity stared at the bridge, "I am not getting my paws on that."

Fluttershrub rolled her eyes, "Is it because its made of decayed wood?"

Pinkie raptor craned her head, "Dangling over what looks like a bottomless that would kill most of us, leaving our deaths in you and Rainbow's souls." She gave a huge, carnivorous smile, "I say we rush it! YOLO!" And she did so, breaking some of the boards she ran on.

As soon as Apple Jack's blue jean jacket regained its invisible human shape, her phly gave out a sigh before zipping back up, "Honestly, that was a dumb idea."

"That's your honesty route? No drop of faith?"

We had an argument over that! Fluttershrub was going to swoop under Twilight to catch her when she fell.

"She can fly? When have you ever seen a tree fly? I think you screwed yourself over in this chapter."

Fluttershrub gave the wood enough nutrients to become sturdy enough to walk on, the broken boards regrew at her touch as well. It's tree magic!

Our ~~heros~~ "civilians" found themselves in the old ruined Castle of the... um...

Twilight was so excited about the fact that they were in a long-forgotton Castle of the Sun and Blue Moon that her pages rustled, "We're really here! Now let's find the elements-"

Rainbow cut her off there, "Elements? I thought we were going to send some blue lady back to her homeland!"

Apple Jack tilted the western hat that acted as her head, "'Homeland?' Where the hay does that mean?"

"She's from the moon! That means she must come from Space Mexico!"

Twilight took out a pen and paper, "348. Wait, 349."

Fluttershrub glared at Twilight, "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a count of how many times I hear a 'Team Four Star' quote or term."

"That's dumb. And killing trees. I'm a tree. You're killing me with every fiber of your being."

As soon as they entered the throne room, across they saw a strange device holding stone orbs... and a fish bowl with Rainbow Trout Pinkie inside. She hopped out of it long enough to scream, "It's a trap!"

Twilight took out another page along the one she held in her book magic, "1,457 and 350."

"Tree magic and book magic?"

Friendship is magic; that tree and book are friendly thus they have their own magic.

"But as mentioned: Fluttershrub hates Twilight."

"That was not even TFS!" Rainbow shouted, oblivious to the dark navy blue woman in sky blue armor with flowing, starry hair.

Nightmare Moon stared at the six friends as they stood together, thinking of her tactics. 'Book and tree? Burn. Jeans? Not my style... or size. A human girl with wings? The rainbow hair tells me that she might be... distraction! Clever girl. Athletic build, but stupid. Marshmallow? I shall devour it. And... that pink thing has no specific physical form.'

As Piano Pie began playing, Twilight rushed Nightmare Moon. It was then the moon queen realized that she lacked the fire magic she thought she had, allowing an opening for Twilight Sparkle to teleport past her and attempt to use the elements. Luckily for the Nightmare, nobody knew how to use them.

Not letting the chance slip, she destroyed the elements and almost burned some of Twilight's memory pages.

The elements shards fell to the ground, all hope was lost. "That is until Twilight found a new purple page within her."

Nightmare Moon darted her head around the room, "Where did that voice come from?! Why is it purple?! No matter, you have lost!"

"No, we haven't!" Twilight yelled as her face rose up to it's usual spot, "Our world has similar rules to that of 'Yu-Gi-Oh!'"

"Oh, my sister..." Nightmare hissed as she winced at the awful writing and storyline. Heck, the real cards didn't correspond with the show's rules!

"You might have destroyed the Elements of Harmony, weapons made to destroy you!"

"A little late with that exposition, Twi!" Pinkie commented.

"But we have the traits represented! ...and I don't know how I know that," she did a weird book shrug, "But it's our friendship that binds us together!"

Rainbow looked around, "Actually two or three of us are friends, one lives with the illusion of being a friend to all, one of us hates you for being a book, and we don't really know you besides being a nerd student of our sun god with a dragon."

"Yes, friendship!" Twilight added smugly. "In no order: Fluttershrub represents kindness, taking a splinter of a beast the would have killed us!"

"I love plants and animals!" Fluttershrub countered as a gold necklace with a pink butterfly charm formed around her pony neck.

"Apple Jack represents honesty because she said 'honestly'! Rarity represents generosity because she generously gave Fluttershrub's tail extensions to a sea serpent!"

Rarity rolled her eyes as necklaces formed on Apple Jack (as a gold belt) and herself, "I didn't have enough tail hair, Shrub owed me for a disaster at my boutique, and the half-mustache was hurting my eyes."

"Rainbow Dash is the loyalist of creatures! She came back for us when we thought she abandoned us!"

AJ brought her arms to her hips, "Excuse me?"

Rainbow flew around, trying to take off her necklace with the red thunderbolt, "No! I don't want to be Apple Jack!"

Twilight smirked, "Pinkie Pie would represent YOLO, but it never existed in the past so she represents chivalry!"

"Ha ha! There is no element of chivalry, fool!" Nightmare commented, pointing a claw.

"Laughter! I said laughter."

Pinkie Pie got a gold rock with a blue balloon painted on it. She would be excited and mention how shiny it was, but pink oranges don't talk.

"And I'm the element of magic, leadership, faith, hope, friendship, books, lots of books, quesadillas, lists, schedules..."

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

"Why is she the element of magic? Because she's good at it? If that was the case then any unicorn with greater magical skill or knowledge could take her element."

Twilight Sparkle is the bearer of the element of magic, which is a tiara instead of a necklace. Inequality aside, everybody floats up into the air with glowing eyes and fires and rainbow at Nightmare Moon!

"The attack missed. What will you do? [>>Run >Attack] You run." Nightmare Moon blindly ran into the rainbow.

What came out of the rainbow was a little, blue, chibi anime girl with lighter blue hair that looked normal. She fell on her face and began squirming as she cried.

Before anything could happen, a window exploded! Coming through was a mini sun... that turned into a tan candle with a crown and a face. It's waxy limbs stretched out to the chibi blue girl as she smiled. "Luna, welcome home!"

Nightmare Moon, now Luna, didn't even acknowledge her existence due to the fact that she now had tiny feet that were viewed as physically impossible to stand on.

Everyone else in the room gasped, "Oh god it burns?!"

"Why does everyone keep calling me that? No matter," she turned her attention back to Luna, who was trying her best to stand. "Luna, it's me!"

Luna responded by falling on her back instead of her face.

"Sister, pay attention please."

Luna finally gained balance! ...then promptly fell.

Rolling her eyes, the god used her magic to allow Luna a better chance at standing-

"Oh MOTHER it burns!!!" in the aura she turned her head, "Sister? When did you arrive?" Her eyes widened as she attempted to run off, but the fire magic pulled her off the ground. "Help! Help! Thou's going to set me ablaze!"

"No, I am not!"

"Away from us, Tia, thou attention grabbing whore!"

"...and there goes my pride." Tia sighed, "I AM TRYING TO FORGIVE YOU!"

"Well, then, we are sorry." She smiled in her sister's magic, allowing herself to be pulled in a hug. It was adorable.

In the hug the sun princess added, "Also I seek forgiveness. You stuff never survived decay and I sold your jewelry."

"And we are sorry for leaving ancient artifacts in our things... like 'season ends'."

The room fell silent, even on the narration side.

Twilight looked around frantically, "Where are the elements of harmony? Why is there a party for Luna? Why are we in Not-Ponyville? Where is Spike?! What is going on?"

Apple Jack just stared at her as Rainbow read a memory page she found before tossing it in a river, "We walked from the castle to here and Princess Celestia demanded a party."

"Princess Who?"

"No, Doctor Who." A man said, entering a blue box and disappearing.

Rarity answered, "Oh god it burns is Princess Celestia consumed by her guilt for banishing her sister."

"Celestia has a sister?"

"I'll fill you in, later... at your library per say?"

Author's Note

Spike sat in the Author's Notes; making sure I kept my mouth shut as he critiques my brilliance. In his claw was a purple marker that turned into dust in his grasp.

"This story sucks."

...and you're in it, big boy.

"So? This a pony ride on Hasbro's success plus your attempt to be original."

Will you shut up if I give you Rarity?

"Kill off Flash Sentry and I'll think about it."

But FlashLight!

"Here you go."

Is that supposed to be amusing?

"My question exactly." Spike tossed the web book away, replacing it with some ~~Vintage~~ Recent Bat Man comics.

S1 Episode 3: I've got a golden ticket!

Twilight and Apple Jack were talking... I don't know what. It might involve farming and efficiency or friendship.

Spike doesn't walk up to them; he wills the ground to move him like a friggin' KING, "I got a letter from the princess. There are two Gala tickets inside."

Twilight turns and smiles, grabbing the letter.

Dear ~~Slave~~ Student,
Come to the Gala. It is so amazing and come or I'll drop the sun on you. Kidding! But seriously, it's boring and people can actually touch my hand this year and oh my mother I really hate it!
Your master and teacher, Celestia. xox

Twilight gave a wide grin, "Apple Jack! I have a ticket to the Gala!"

"I have a feelin' I want in all of a sudden." the farmer stated, leaning on the white wooden fence.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Dash ship appeared at the word 'sudden' and began to fight over the Gala ticket.

"Oh no! I have to choose my plus one!" Twilight relented, "Who am I going to choose?!"

Rarity was tossed into the range of the group, "Gala! Dress! Fashion! [prince!/i] Musicals! Elegant!"

Fluttershrub grew out of the ground, "Is there going to be animals?"

While everyone began screaming; Spike slapped twilight against her cover and took the tickets. Everybody went quiet; their eyes followed the two gold tickets. "Now there's eight tickets."

Spike handed everybody their tickets, Twilight asking, "How?! ...and why eight?"

"You six will abandon me so I'm bringing Apple Jack's brother so he can drive us home," Spike replied with no emotion. There was nothing else to be said; the dragon needed all of the Gala's wine to be drunk and he's looking to forget this chapter.

Besides; nobody in their right minds would question Spike when he turned two tickets into eight.

Pinkie's pony clop image boat sank, leaving Pinkie as a picture of an ocean with a pink sky. Actually, it didn't sink. A tiny Spike blew everything up and flipped everyone off when he sank.

S1 Episode 4: Apple what Season?

Rainbow Dash lied on her end of the see-saw, expecting to get launched from Twilight's thanks to a pair of jeans known as Apple Jack... but nothing came. She looked up to see a pair of crumpled apple bottom jeans and jean jacket slumped on the see-saw with fur boots on the ground at the see-saw's sides.

"Apple Jack?" Rainbow asked.

The big starred belt buckle used for the eye shot up, pointing to the air, "Yer welcooome!"

"uh... I haven't moved at all."

"Well, then, let's try it again!" AJ exclaimed, getting to her ankles before hopping onto her boots... backwards. "Well, this don feel mighty right..."

"No, no no NO." Rainbow got up, "What's going on?"

Apple Jack turned to Rainbow, "What do ya mean? I'm launching you into the sky-"

"Not that." Dash interrupted, "Did you forget to starch yourself or are just tired? Because it looks to me that you haven't slept."

"Ah have slept!"

"What's 9 + 18?"

Apple Jack shook her hat, "What? Don't use yer fancy mathe-"

"Just answer the question. 9 + 18?" she pointed to an invisible watch on her wrist, wondering if it was real or working right, "Tick! Tick! Tock!"

"27! NO! 21! It's 21! 21!"

"So it's applebucking season? Someone is injured?" Rainbow used some unknown logic to determine, "Let me guess; you're going to pick every tree on the farm on your own? From what I've heard; Big Mac is injured and Applebloom can only carry baskets..."

Sitting with Granny Smith the Quilt and Applebloom the smaller apple bottom jean, Big Mac the plush Lumber Jack was sewing himself back together. Suddenly the urge came and he began to "eeyup".

"Oh god it burns, not this again!" Applebloom shouted from her homework, picking everything up and moving to the barn.

"So from what I've gathered; you think you're the element of loyalty and decided to use that as an excuse to be stubborn and not ask for-"

Rainbow sighed as she saw AJ in a heap on the ground.

Her head screwed open as Pinkie the Brain hopped out of her head, "Alright, Dashie, your thought process is calibrated!"

Rainbow looked at the pink cow smiling at her, "...are you sure that was a legal brain surgery?"

"It's not illegal, yet!"

"So what are we going to do with Apple Jack?" Rainbow asked.

Pinkie floated in the air as her anime eyes were zoomed in with power. The town around her began to shake as a pink aura covered her, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Rainbow stared in shock as she joined in the screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAsk Twilight Sparkle to gather our friends and help her, silly!"

Rainbow doesn't remember why she was screaming or thought the town was doomed from Pinkie. I mean, what harm can an anime cow do? "Sure, let's do that."

"You also need to lend Apple Jack your strength."

They stared at the sleeping jeans. "You're kidding."

So Twilight used her magic to pick every lose apple off the trees while Rainbow wearing Apple Jack leapt from tree to tree kicking apples over to baskets with unparalleled skill and speed. Some were kicked to Rarity for inspection while Fluttershrub commanded the more lively trees to toss their apples at them.

When they were done, Rainbow took off Apple Jack and put her own jeans and jacket back on. They shared a glance that silently said, "We must never speak of this again."

Twilight smiled, "So did anybody learn a lesson about friendship? Especially Apple Jack because she was being a stubborn moron?"

Fluttershy frowned, "Moron is going too far."

"Stubborn jackass?"

Apple Jack sighed, "I learned that it's very unpleasant to have a person inside of you-"

Twilight frowned, "Keep it PG, not all of us are a pair of jeans."

"Um... don't handle more than you can chew? You'll get worn out?"

Twilight shook her head, "Close enough. I'll just add some fanfic flare and have it be sent as fact."

"You burn trees. I'm a tree." Fluttershrub reminded.

Twilight took out an iphone, "Siri, remind me to get cow hide scrolls."

[I don't know what you mean by, "Rainbow Dash lied on the end of her see-saw..."]

Happy 2016! (Not Canon to This Story)

Author's Note

Since it is now 2016 and I need the inspiration to make this story better; I'm adding the best chapter from one of my hiatus stories to show you how crazy while serious I want this story to be!

Please welcome an (edited) time themed chapter from "My Little Pony: Sonic Gen. Underground"!

Happy 2016! (Not Canon to This Story)

The NEW You

At the train station, a blue mobian hedgehog with a sword and a purple pony got off the train car they rode in, rushing towards Canterlot Castle. With the past constantly shifting, the pony named Twilight Sparkle was having a hard time remembering how to get to the archives. The tree of harmony's magic flowed over the unicorn, but instead of her castle and dragon being reduced to a tent and snake, her appearance changed again.

Sonic the Hedgehog, hero of the planet Mobius, looked down at the pony in his arms. She looked like a recolored Twilight, her lavender and purple color replaced with sea and navy blue. Her mane and tail had a cream streak where her magenta streak used to be and she looked up with matching eyes wide. She quickly asked, "What's my name?!"

"Twilight Sparkle," Sonic said with an annoyed tone.

She gasped, "No! My name is Lunar Shine!" They looked over at the castle in the distance, "We need to hurry over to mom!"

Sonic, somehow being immune to the effects of the changing time, was thrown off guard by replacing "princess" to "mom", but still kept his focus nonetheless. He was suddenly blinded by a blue wing, that was quickly moved away, "Looks like your wings are back..."

"I can tell!" She replied, gripping the hedgehog harder. Her mane suddenly became messy when another rainbow flash surrounded her, "You're going way too slow, molasses hog!"

Sonic was urked by the sudden change in faith but ran for his friend. Lunar climbed onto his back as she flew them over to the castle.

"Not to be rude, Chip, but I rather fight with Caliburn in dire situations." Sonic conversed with a flying burgundy creature with a white tuff of hair and fairy wings. Instead of his usual gauntlet for Caliburn, Sonic had a green bauble bracelet that used to be Chip's necklace. Walking with them was a griffon chick that was originally Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, Element of Magic. Now she's Giddy, a nerdy griffon chick and the Element of Understanding.

"Don't be too hard on the poor... Whatever he is. I bet he can summon a giant stone body to fight for you... Though, with the aging process, it's 9.600100201504% probable," Giddy said, checking her talons. The rainbow magic flashed over her again, making her resemble more of a griffon Twilight. She raised her talon.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle, student of Celestia, you have a royal brother and a baby dragon named Spike, you have five friends. Elements of harmony sound familiar?" Chip informed and asked, just as tired as Sonic.

Twilight Griffon nodded before tilting her head, "Why would I be Celestia's student again?"

"Why would you ask that?" Chip asked, hovering back slowly.

"I'm Luna's protégé and Queen Celestia has been trying to get her revenge for years!" Suddenly she pushed Sonic out of the way of a solar laser, "Why are we out at daytime?!" Grabbing Chip, the group increased their speed to the moving castle as THE BUCKING SUN TRIED TO FRY THEM, in an attempt to get somewhere.

In the sky, Celestia flew around, laughing like a psycho and attacking the trio. "Run! Run, Twilight Sparkle! Discord won't save you, now!"

Chip looked over Sonic's shoulder at Twilight, "Discord?"

"Hero of Equestria that sent Celestia's statue to the sun for a thousand years. He's also my bodyguard love interest." Twilight said with a shy smirk.

Sonic climbed up onto the rooftops to avoid dead ends, "I thought you didn't like Discord!"

Twilight fumed, "I do! He's one of the most selfish-!" Discord tossed another grenade at the four, luckily Spike burned it, causing a huge explosion behind them (that blocked off the rest of Twilight's rant) as Sonic tossed off a pair of sunglasses that perfectly landed on Spike's face. The beast tossed more grenades, but they were blasted by magic the group currently didn't have. "Its Prince Blueblood of the Crystal Empire!" Twilight exclaimed cheerfully.

Blueblood was armed to the teeth with knives and swords, riding a chariot with a hot yet depressed Princess Cadence next to him, who blew a kiss at Sonic as they passed. Spike and Chip watched as she rode out of sight, hearts on their eyes. Sonic rolled his eyes, "Spike! What would Rarity think?!"

Spike looked back at Sonic with a carnivorous grin, "I remember Rarity. She actually broke my heart when Trenderhoof visited Ponyville. The unicorn tasted like chicken, now we'll be together forever!" Sonic and Chip grimaced at the idea while Twilight reached to her back and patted his head as she soared between rooftops.

The sky suddenly ripped open, revealing Time Sombra's warrior spirit fighting a giant armored Principle Celestia with a necklace that looked familiar to Sonic, both pushing at each other's swords. Sombra growled, "Yield Solaris! I will have your power!" The two beings disappeared, causing normal time to snap back for a moment.

In that moment, Twilight was back to her usual self with the normal Spike on her back. Sonic held Caliburn as he ran, but Chip was still there somehow. He pointed down to see the cowardly Prince Blueblood run from a muddy normal looking Princess Cadence, carrying her chariot in her magic. The four neared the castle, recapping Twilight and Spike's bio before they entered the throne room.

There was a huge line of creatures, requesting court with the princesses. Twilight grabbed Sonic as they flew over the line, skidding to a stop in front of Celestia. The princess saw the fear in her eyes, but couldn't tell the ponies to leave fast enough when a history book was shoved in her face. There was another chapter- Starswirl's death by the hand of Zik as Clover the Clever forced her mentor's knowledge of magic into her, beginning a campaign of her insanity as a dark mage after she banished the sirens. Twilight exclaimed, "The past is changing! Starswirl died early, Clover the Conquer, Discord's near death! All of this is changing the future!" She pointed to her fangs and bat wings, making Sonic jump at the sight.

Twilight gave off another rainbow glow as the entire scenery became a barren mountain, luckily the other princesses had a rainbow shimmer over them, making them as immune to the changes as Twilight... who was part orange. Orange as in the fruit. Why are we talking about oranges? What purpose- Oh yeah, all of the ponies are young fillies now.

Sonic took out Caliburn as Spike returned to existence with the group and the others- back to normal -preparing to fight as Time Sombra flew through the sky. They moved over the mountain as Pinkie Pie- whoops! I mean Bubble Berry flew a hot air balloon overhead with Sonia and Manic playing music to fit the scenery as everything transitioned to white.

Surrounding the group, many Master variant Dark Gaia minions appeared. The power master enhancing the abilities of fire and lightning masters. Sonic dodged fireballs and electricity as he ran, slashing the minions to oblivion with Caliburn. He even tossed the dang sword.

"Sire, what are you doing?!" Caliburn asked from the ground.

Sonic homed in on a few masters and kicked one across the face, "I thought you'd fly back! The plan has holes!"

"I can only hover when I'm standing!" He responded as Sonic grabbed him and tossed him again, killing some minions and being caught by Luna, who swiped at her enemies, "I actually don't have a problem with this."

Twilight countered their magic as she dispersed a Lightning Master's bolt at the Power Masters, weakening all of the remaining Masters as Celestia crushed some Fire Masters under her summoned war hammer. Ten Red Titans appeared, but Luna and Caliburn lowered the number to nine in an instant as Sonic homed in on one, climbing up another Titan's club, and grabbed Caliburn to stab a third one in the eye, in a single fluid motion. On the ground, Spike set the huge clubs on fire and let one Titan hit him, using the force to fly over to Chip and grab him, pulling him to safety. That plan was flawed as Chip hit his head on the ground, but Spike took most of the skull-splitting force, causing Chip to unlock his powers "Avatar: The Last Air bender Aang vs the Fire Lord" style- better known as Deus Ex Machina.

Chip let his wings grow as he held onto Spike, the two flying around the battlefield, combining Chip's photokinesis and Spike's magic fire they began burning Masters and oncoming Red Nightmares that appeared with a strong, pure light magic flame. They got a little reckless and started punching Titans into oblivion, Spike's weak punches given Light Gaia power. It was impressive seeing the two work like a perfect team and fight as if Chip was an extension of Spike's dragon instincts and wild imagination, especially when they didn't even speak a word and paused with angry look on their faces like a sudden argument.

Hey, Sonic? Should Spike fire a fireball or fight up close and personal? Chip asked in Sonic's mind. The hedgehog was used to his friend's telepathy so he replied in thought.

Keep your distance and make sure you two don't over do it, Sonic thought to Chip.

Warrior Sombra and "Principle Solaris" returned, fighting with no sign of a winner. The actual beings appeared next, staring each other down as they shot energy balls and homing projectiles, in hopes to get one spirit to falter and drop their guard. One of Warrior Sombra's bottom arms broke off from the other three in defense, in an attempt to stab the Solaris spirit. Bad news for him, Solaris split it's arms and sun-themed sword in two, a bottom arm mirroring the one attacking arm.

From on top of a Titan's head, Sonic stared in awe as Solaris actually existed! He has memories that shouldn't exist of him blowing out the flame of young Solaris before the sun / time god could grow into a being of darkness (Mephiles the Dark) and destruction (Iblis) then become one again (Solaris) to be a threat to everything! Chip looked upon the creature in shock, nearly dropping Spike, "It really is Solaris! We need to stop him, now!"

Caliburn was tossed Sonic's way, allowing the hedgehog to catch it and stand in silence with his sword drawn... for a minute... two minutes...

The sword looked around, "Sire? What are we doing?"

"I'm trying to summon the power of Excalibur like last time, let me focus..." Sonic replied. Caliburn rolled his eyes, glowing and transforming as golden armor attached to Sonic with a glorious red cape flowing behind Excalibur Sonic. "Yeah, it worked!"

"You could have said 'please', sire!" Excalibur said, groaning a bit. Sonic didn't hear him over the face guard shutting and he flew up to the warring avatars, fighting for control. They use time in their fight, equal power, and prediction abilities. If scientists studied this fight, nobody would know the movement origin because every move to attack or block move in sync. Sonic being added would tip the scales in any combination of win-lose whether two wins, one win, or no win.

Time Sombra took out a lamp from hammerspace, "Erazor, destroy the pest!"

The lamp summoned a muscular purple, red man that bowed as his green eyes displayed a black smoke and his black cape flowed behind him, "As you wish, mmmmmasster..." He said the last part with great pain as he summoned a red lamp themed sword. Sparks flew as they collided, he smirked recognizing his foe. "Ah, looks like we have a rat problem."

Excalibur Sonic glared at him passed their blades, "A sword? Why the sudden change?"

"I would make a fourth wall joke, but I hate stories almost as much as I hate you!"

"Author? What author?" Sonic asked before he shook his head, then quickly spinning, and slid his Excalibur across Erazor's back as dark shadows left the deep cut. The djinn clenched his teeth as a counter spell that allowed the shadows to form a copy of Excalibur to form in his free hand. He turned a knee to pound Sonic in the gut, barely denting his gold armor. Sonic instantly backed off and they flew towards each other again, Sonic's speed with Excalibur compensating for the lack of a second sword, but he had one trick Erazor Djinn probably didn't know. He swiped his sword a few times, soul surging as he shouted, "Yo Pinkie, it's party time!"

Two balloons appeared, popping to reveal little Sonic with their extreme gear "the Blue Star" and the Sonic, that originally met the genie, with the harmony emeralds with him, hanging over the board. The later Sonic pointing at little Sonic, shouting, "Kindness, frees animals! Loyalty, to those in danger and his friends! Generosity, saves the world without being asked? He shares laughter with his friends! He will be honest, but not too blunt! Forgiveness, he teams up with his enemies? Oh yeah, Knuckles! Friendship is his magic?"

The seven gems circled all three Sonics as two of them resembled their hyper form while the armored one gained a rainbow glow inside of his gold armor, wielding a rainbow Excalibur.

"Are you, what they call, 'gay'?" Erazor asked, an eyebrow raised.

They ignored him as two Sonics fed rainbow magic to rainbow Excalibur, firing a multicolored soul surge beam straight through Erazor and into Solaris coincidentally, weakening the god to the point that Time Sombra went for the kill. He disappeared with Solaris and Erazor Djinn as Warrior Sombra impaled Principle Solaris, the two avatars for the beings fading away.

Just as Sonic and Twilight left the train they rode on, they noticed the return of the princess's wings. Upon that notice, a wave of information entered their mind in a natural, not painful way that allowed them to remember what happened.

Sonic sighed, "I'll go buy the tickets for home... Unless you want me to run us home or a royal sky chariot?"

Twilight glared and growled, "No. We need to think of a plan on the train. Two time beings just merged and I'm not enjoying that."

"Yeah, and we have to prepare for the worst," Sonic said with clenched fists.

S1 Episode 5: Everybody Hates Gilda

I don't remember this episode so we're going to blame Fullmetal Alchemist and bleach. White, white bleach.

... I got better.

So this episode starts off like this:

The door opened as Pinkie "Bucket" Pie fell over Rainbow Dash, soaking her with the water she held. Rainbow took off the bucket to glare at her pink llama friend, laughing on her back.

"Pinkie!" the human's finger dramatically pointed at her changing pink friend, "You have dishonored my happy mood! We will work together to prank others instead of ourselves in a prank war fashion!"

Pinkie couldn't respond; being a rock and all.

"Clever girl..."

"Wanna prank, still?" the pink puppy asked; her tail wagging.

Rainbow pet Pinkie's head, which is an odd action for one human to do to another, "Yes."

After a joy buzzer and another bucket drop, they prepared a trip wire when a brown griffon stuck her head out of her cloud, "Yo, Dash!"

Before the two friends could look up and without permission, our Gilda was drop kicked into the ground and replaced with Radical Gilda from Tumblr. "Hey, what's up Dash?" the human in a brown fur coat and yellow tape-wrapped arms asked from the back of a griffon on the back of a liger, all three being covered in bald eagles and dying phoenixes.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Pinkie asked me.

Simply put: we have no ponies so why bother with pony friends?

"But her blog came after this episode!"

I'm waiting for Season 6 while writing a bad fan fic on season 1 so far. Sue me.

Pinkie glared, "Fine! I'll just become a Tumblr Pinkie Pie to compete!"

"Pinkie?" Rainbow asked when she saw her friend was not responding to her and Gilda's camp- flight school- whatever pledge.

You think you can hold me back?

Pinkie smiled a mischevious smile that evolved into a more anime look. Her blue eyes became even more, energy-filled as the area's temperature rose.

Meanwhile, Rainbow left to do something and Gilda watched as Fluttershrub passed her view.

"Stick to the script, Gilda." Pinkie... said. The pink human created tiny cracks under her feet as her fists glowed with power- Oh no. Please, no.

Tumblr's Hotblooded Pinkie Pie took over our Pinkie's body as Gilda rolled her eyes. "Says the pony with a blog covered in anime and ego."

"What about you? Ran out of ideas sooner and decided to strip?" she got into a horse stance as her power level increased, covering her in a pink aura. "Looks like you need a new spirit animal."

Gilda hopped off her griffon and let an explosion engulf her beasts back to her blog. Without getting in a stance, she smiled with her yellow lips before shouting, "Bring it!"

Hotblooded Pinkie was on her faster than eye contact as missed punches created sparks around Radical Gilda's air and every sep made tiny craters. Gilda grabbed Pinkie, tossing her to the ground before hopping to her feet and kicking Pie's face. No damage was on the Pinkie person as she slid under the rad one, letting her flaming fist cutie mark appear for a brief uppercut cameo before it vanished.

Luckily, Gilda dodged as she caught another Pinkie fist. "Looks like we're at an impasse."

"That's because the author has a low fighting vocabulary..." I hold the pause as my tamed Kaiju dropped my Gipsy Danger behind me. Surprise just happened to be in her pilot stand. "...I will not be playing this fair!"

The kaiju stood aside, crying as the giant headphones attached to it's head changed to more 90's music.

Pinkie teleported into her stand, the giant robot got in a battle stance.

"So we're humans now or-?"

"Surprise, we're inside crappy fan fiction about ponies yet has anything but ponies roaming around."

"Sweet Celestia!" Surprise exclaimed. "Do you think the author is compensation for something?"

"I don't know!"

As their minds synced up in the neural bridge; Gilda focused her being into the spirit realm, calling upon the many Native American spirits that could never find rest. When her eyes opened and she witnessed a giant, metal party cannon with rocket launchers and flamethrowers aimed down at her.

Gilda dodged the blast with a wolf spirit before an eagle spirit enhanced her leap to the mech's knee. Pinkie and Surprise tried to get her off, but Gilda was swift. When gravity challenged her; she took out twin knives and kept climbing while a bear spirit allowed her to break into Gipsy Danger's head. Pinkie detached herself as she fired ki blasts.

One swing to the right; the other doges to the left. One kicks really hight; Pinkie ducks. Gilda bend flips away; Pinkie jumps up in the air. Pinkie takes out a sword; Gilda parries with a knife. Pinkie tries again; Gilda cutts a chunck of hair.

Pinkie dropped her weapon and suplexes Gilda. The radical girl turns the tables, flipping them and pinning Hotblooded Pinkie by the neck at Sugarcube Corner.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

They both stopped, looking at Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie replied by being a rock.

...

...

...

And then she tossed herself at Gilda's face before pulling herself back to the choking human victum position. Gilda took a step back, trying to process what just happened when Pinkie cried, "She yelled at Fluttershy-"

"Fluttershrub." the tree pony corrected.

"Whatever! And she started beating me and being a meanie!"

"It's true. My feelings are hurt." Fluttershrub said, detached and hiding a sack of bits.

Rainbow began to cry as anger and betrayal displayed on her features, "Gilda... WHY?!"

Radical Gilda dropped Pinkie and took out a communicator, "This isn't going to work. Beam me up, Pirate Dash!"

In the sky, a giant pirate ship "the Rainboom" dropped an anchor and just as fast pulled Gilda up into in before a rip in space-time sent them back to Tumblr.

A now-not-possessed-by-another-Pinkie Pinkie Pie shrugged with her penguin flippers and everything was suddenly back to normal. "Let's not question what happens and be mad at Gilda for yelling at the Shrub."

Rainbow nodded, "Agreed."

Author's Note

Promise me that y'all will be responsible with these links. I'm going to make changes to compensate for these links.

This story is still as clean as I can make it. These blogs do not affect this story what-so-ever; I was just using characters they made and put links to credit the Tumblr blogs.

Radical Gilda (18+)
Hotblooded Pinkie Pie (18+ for language)
Surprise (It's clean, funny, and shows up here for being Hotblooded Pinkie's canon best friend.)
Pirate Dash and her ship "the Rainboom" (Note: I have no idea if the ship has ever been airborne before.)

S1 Episode 6, 7, 8: Boast Dragon Sleep?

Setting up her camera, Twilight had a look of... being disturbed. The purple book looked frazzled as she paced, "Spike? Is this thing on?"

"Red dot." he replied off screen.

"Oh?" She seemed to look at you. "Oh! Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle... and my friends might be possessed." She looked over to our left, "Spike! Did you change the scri-"

A new recording took the place of the last one due to poor editing. "-ht be crazy. Let us begin."

Episode 6

Trixie the Great and Powerful balanced breakfast cereal stood at her stage. "Now the Great and Powerful Trixie will return to her human form!"

She covered herself with her ungodly huge purple hat, emerging as a light blue human. Everyone had fruit out to toss before she explained her magic silver drinking. Everyone calmed and watched.

Pinkie pointed her serpent tail, "Hey! That isn't magic!" Using her springy, slinky body, she pounced onto the stage landing as a telephone booth. Her phone rang, but before anyone could answer she was a laptop displaying the words, "1v1 me m8. n00b hacker."

Trixie hammer simply fell near Pinkie, whispering, "What are you doing?"

"Proving you're not the best magic user."

"OK. So you would let me go hungry and homeless just to prove something dumb?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Telegram Pinkie asked the minotaur Trixie in nice handwriting Rarity would be jealous of.

A man in the crowd boo'ed, demanding more magic. It was then Rainbow Dash upstaged Trixie and she had to stop her.

Human Trixie got into a fighting stance, "Come on! I have Russian blood so I can fight bears!"

Fluttershrub just stared at her.

"I'm a skilled magician! I can... kill giant bears?" Trixie said, giving Rainbow a headlock as Apple Jack tried lasso tricks while Pinkie was a rock.

Soon Trixie was threatened by the angry crows in the crowd and garbage was tossed at her. Rarity turned the clean part of the stage into a fashion show while Pinkie forced Twilight to have a magic duel with Trixie for superiority... which they both declined.

Within the crowd, a greenish-orange mouse boy and his big orange snail friend decided to find a bear to save Trixie's career. I mean, who wouldn't want to see bear wrestling? "Let's go grab an Ursa Major!" Snips proclaimed as they left.

"But aren't they dangerous?" Snail asked, following.

"Exactly! She mentioned having Russian blood so the bigger the easier!"

"Russians must be awesome."

"It was later known that it was a myth." Twilight finished her tale, closing herself. "I had to use magic, fix the problem, and watch as Trixie lost her rental wagon home. I offered to let her stay here, but she claimed that it was my fault."

Behind the camera, Spike requested, "Tell the Fluttershrub story. With the dragon."

Twilight looked at the camera, flustered, "H- how do you know about-"

"The red dragon in the mountain."

"You can edit that out, right?"

"Edit it yourself."

Episode 7

"If I'm going then I need my pot." Fluttershy pointed out after Twilight explains Princess Celestia's letter.

Rarity just looked at her, "Darling, I was unaware you had... those habits."

"What? I can not stay rooted on stone so I need my ceramic pots."

Rainbow sighed.

"Seriously, Dash? We've grown up with each other!" Fluttershrub stamped a rooty hoof. "Are you not aware that I hate fire or that trees can't jump?"

"I've seen you jump before!" Rainbow retort.

"I was wearing flower pots-"

"Twilight, we don't need every detail."

"Alright, fine!"

After gearing up, we traveled the mountain to stop the dragon from spreading smoke across Equestria. But, we ran into some problems like Fluttershrub.

"Come on Fluttershrub!" Rainbow shouted from the other mountain wall. Fluttershrub stood at what could've easily been an easy jump, staring at the ground far below. "Hop, skip, and a jump!"

"But I'm a tree! It will never work out!"

"We can get through this together, the two of us!" Rainbow reached out.

"Can't you just hold me in your arms?"

"Please come closer! You're almost there!" Rainbow urged.

Fluttershrub looked hesitant, "Help! I feel so alone!"

"I'm right here!"

"Twilight, you're making this sound like your romantic Flutterdash fanfic."

"You're taking it out of context!" Twilight rolled her eyes. "Besides, she said she didn't want my help!"

"You are a demon to her. The shredded remains of her people bound by-"

"When we finally got to the top-!"

When we finally got to the top, everyone decided to attack the dragon head on in their own way. It's a sleeping dragon, fighting and parties will annoy it and if you look like a noble... or a marshmallow then they will assume you're after their horde.

Getting a dragon to listen is supposed to be a good time. Attack and pester before reason, you're gonna have a bad time. Friends before Fluttershrub then you're gonna have a bad time.

After Twilight was kicked out of the cave for preaching about Celestia the burning sun, the dragon followed. And. He. Was. Angry.

Fluttershrub looked around before launching herself with a great leap onto the dragon's face. "How dare you?! I can understand and have no problem killing Twilight, but my friends? You've gone too far! We just ask that you sleep pointed in the other direction, please."

Rainbow struggled to look at Fluttershrub, "You're just now helping us?"

"Twilight was taking her precious time."

Twilight sat in her seat in front of the webcam, a warm mug of blue ink with a lead cube in her lock's grasp. "Sorry, it took me a while to end this, princess. Some technical problem arose, but things are fine." She chuckled nervously, "In fact, I'm in the middle of a slumber party. Wish me luck... and watch Spike closely."

There was a crash then a pillow flung passed the background.

"Make sure he doesn't raise the dead or something-"

"You brute!"
"B***h!"

"My reports are as follows: Keep your friends close and the homeless closer, face your fears and don't let your friends kill each other while recording a video."

The camera was knocked over and Twilight let out a frustrated groan, "Stop playing truth or dare!"

Author's Note

I've created "lightning round" chapters where we will cover small episodes in one go.

Don't do ceramic, stay with education, and learn to red dot. Bye!

S1 Episode 8 or 9? Or is it 10?

Twilight hopped around town, content with her checklist as the preparations for Princess Celesomethingia a.k.a. Princess Ohgoditburns' party for coming to Ponyville to check her mail. We blame Derpy for the mess, making her a hero... as soon as she recycles her weighted muffins. Being a plastic bag must suck to no avail.

It was then Twilight took out a page from herself to check a banner being made that read "Welcome Princess Celestia!"

The flower in charge of it was surprised by Twilight's appearance but smiled anyway from her ladder. "You misspelled her name!" Twilight called up. "It is Sellestea-uh!"

Luckily, Spike spell-checked Twilight without actually being in sight.

"Never mind! Just take out the I A!" she hopped away, leaving the plant confused.

At Fluttershrub's cottage, the owner of the very homey place containing many animals flew around to care for said animals. Fluttershrub cared for animals big and small... except beavers and woodpeckers.

While thinking her happy thoughts, she found a blue orb. Thinking it might be an evil made for tree killing, Fluttershrub held it up with caution. The orb fluffed out it's insect wings and looked up at the tree horse with huge green eyes. Fluttershrub smiled, "I think you're cute so you are cute!" From those words, the universe shifted.

Soon Rainbow Dash came by, wanted one and luckily she did. Just like in Jimmy Neutron, tiny cute creatures are spread from root to hand to marshmallow and so on. It was soon learned that these things were a threat to all food so Twilight got bold and grabbed her friends to make a plan.

"What the heck is happening?!" Twilight demanded. "There's demon balloons everywhere!"

Pinkie shouted, "They're parasprites! Now help me find Zecora and a trumpet!"

Rarity tilted her head the best she could without a neck, "Zecora? Who?"

"The zebra!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, darling." Rarity deadpanned.

Spike looked up from comic book novel, sighing as his book slightly aged in his grasp and his glare fell to you. Yes you.

"A week ago," he began, not starting with that 'Once upon a time' crap. "There was a shaman wearing a zebra's hide and had white stripes all over he body.

She came to town wearing a cloak, its hot out so why not? The mysterious person was fear by all, but she ignored the racism from the town and trekked to Sugarcube Corner where she planted an honesty seed.

The seed won't matter because its still season one so we will continue. The main six friends slash one-sided enemy ran into the forest after Zecora, but it was to chase Apple Jack's sister. They all stood in blue flowers and the witch doctor warned our protagonists of the flowers in a dumb way.

The next day, the group were "cursed" in various ways. Rarity was bread, Apple Jack the Jeans shrunk in the wash, Rainbow Dash's controls were inverted and southpaw so nobody knew how to help her get off her head, Pinkie... we don't know what to say. On that same note, Twilight became a cheap iPad knock off so she had to be carried with AJ... leaving Fluttershrub just looking normal.

"What the butt is wrong with you?" Spike asked. Luckily, Twilight was set on mute so her rants were never heard.

In a deep voice, Fluttershrub spoke, "I became Dovahkiin, Dragon Born."

One again, Spike felt the rare sense of fear... but how can he know what true fear is?

The group embarked to the Everfree Forest... the only interesting part of Equestria. Deep inside, they found a hut.

Pinkie tried to lower her head to see Fluttershrub, but could only see the pink leaves over her head. With her barely moving mouth, she begged, "Thinth thy rath!"

The tree looked up, "I can't rap, but I can tear down this hut made from the carcass of a tree." As Fluttershrub breathed in, the Witch Doctor pulled the group inside and dunked them in water, curing them, but ruining Twilight's pages.

"Hello, Zecora is my name and I demand to know your game!" she shouted.

"Skyrim," the group replied, except for Twilight who just gurgled in response.

"If you assume I cursed you then your group are suckers." she pointed to her door, "Avoid the blue flowers and stop being racist mo-"

Applebloom's pockets were covered by two vines to avoid the last statement. Long-story-short, they were poisoned and stuff and the Zebra lady was their friend or something. Don't be racist, kids... except towards blue people. Blues are unnatural.

Pinkie finished her tale, "...and then we replaced Twilight's pages with her backup copies! I think we're still friends?" The pink broom swept in place nervously.

Rainbow shrugged, "I guess Zecora can be useful. I'll go-"

Everyone paused as their attention was turned to Twilight sniping parasprites and Apple Jack burning or burying the remains of the bugs. Fluttershrub cried as they slowly died, falling one colorful body after colorful body... she even died inside when Princes Celesomething took out a flame thrower while laughing. "Twilight, this is the most fun I've had in weeks! I wish my sister were here!"

Pinkie shrugged, "Well, party saved and roasted!"