The Pedantic Pony

(Johnny POV)

So Mike ran out on us without explaining himself. After having another weird collapse.

I faced Connor, and he shrugged. Seemed we were both confused.

"What in Equestria did that bloke run off for?"

"Beats the Tartarus outta me."

I figured it best not to follow him. I just figured he was blowing off steam or something.

"So, ya got your eye on a certain somepony?" He shook his head.

"Nope. I do not, at this time, have an overly embarrassing attraction to any mare. I endure my solitary confinement with some good novels, however."

I could've sworn my eye twitched then. Once again, this dude had told me something in his fancy mumbo jumbo, and I was unable to process it.

"Ugh, I do not have a crush, and I'm a big nerd."

"Oooooh." I nodded my head, informing him that I knew what he said.

"Why? Do YOU have YOUR eyes on a certain mare?" I blushed. Just thinking about her, gosh, it gives me chills.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Every day, I see her, up in the clouds, moving them around, preparing Ponyville for one gargantuan storm, or making way for a sunny day. When I look at most mares, I can turn into an eager conversationalist, but with her...I can't even process English. She just...do ya know what I'm sayin'?"

He nodded, which almost prompted me to continue, but he spoke instead.

"I used to have my eyes on a certain mare. She was gorgeous, but she was also busy. She attracted my attention many times, but when I attempted to ask her out, she showed up with her stallionfriend. And worse, they seem so happy together. Apparently, he works with the Royal Orchestra, and he just happened to notice her. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but still...you know what I'm saying?" I nodded.

"Absolutely, Contest." He grumbled.

"It's Connor, featherbrain."

I practically pummeled him right there. I had an issue with being called "featherbrain" and things like that, as well as anger issues. Suddenly, my world went dark, and the next thing I knew, I was in some sort of field. I didn't know where I was, but my body didn't seem to care.

"*tweet* Set, HIKE!"

I felt something zip into my front hooves, only they weren't hooves, and I was going backwards. Then, I threw the strange object, which looked remarkably like a hoofball, and then I was tackled to the ground, and luckily I had a helmet, or I would've suffered some serious brain damage.

Everything went dark again, and I found my self lying on the ground, on my side, in front of Connor again. I got up and noticed my head hurt. Probably from falling down.

Rubbing my head, I asked, "Ugh, how long was I out?"

"About forty-five seconds. Why?"

I shrugged, and picked up where we left off, as though nothing happened. About an hour later, Mike came back.

"Whoopee. Yahoo. Sweet Celestia, this is the best day of my life."

Well, if I could remember, he had a panicked look on his face when he stormed out.

"Congrats, Bubba. Care to explain?"

He looked at us with a dreamy look in his eyes, and nodded.

"It started like this..."

(Mike flashback)

After the vision, and getting angry at Connor, I was really stressed out, and I needed a minute to clear my head. I headed to this local bar, and ordered myself a few shots of vodka. I prepared to drink them, but I had a surprise visitor.

"Hey, wassup? Mind if I sit here?"

I motioned for her to sit next to me, and sit there she did. She ordered what I had, and I raised my eyebrow, but I decided to ignore it.

"So, how ya doin'?" I slammed my head on the table.

"I refuse to talk." For a few seconds, she was silent, then she spoke again.

"Say, aren't you that guy that I bumped into the other day? No way, you are! Nice to meetcha, I'm Vinyl Scratch. What's your name?" Bored to hyper in less than a minute? Either she's drunk, or...

"Oh, sorry, I spoke too fast. Does it bother you?" I lifted my head from the table.

"Can I help you?" I made it clear I didn't wanna be bothered.

"Wow, you're pissed. Wanna talk?"

"*sigh* Sure, why not. My name is Mike, I'm an alicorn cursed with immortality I don't want, sent on a journey to find more of my kind, having visions of myself as a weird monkey-like creature, and worst of all, I just ran away from my problems 'cuz I had the urge to relieve some stress." She looked at me with a mix of confusion and dreamy.

"As farfetched as that is, I believe you. I'm here because I'm following you—" She threw a hoof over her mouth, and her cheeks went from alabaster to crimson in one second.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" I chuckled.

"I was wondering why you weren't upset when your headphones dropped." If her cheeks weren't red earlier, they sure were now. I leaned forward, looking deep into her eyes, and kissed her. Her lips parted, and I felt her hooves wrap around my shoulders, as well as my wings unfurling from my sides.

I didn't know how long we were making out, but when we parted, we had a lot of ponies gawking at us.

"Hey look, Vi, we got an audience." I tried to make the best of the situation.

"Hmph, you dork." She rubbed my mane, and we let go of each other.

"Mike, stop by my place at ten. 14 Bayonne Avenue. Please." I fake-saluted her.

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

She nodded, and walked off. I suddenly felt like I had finally gotten that caramel flavored bubblegum.

(Johnny present time)

"...and that's the whole story."

I'm sorry. Did he just say he has a date tonight with a mare at ten? This guy is one lucky son-of-a-bitch.

"By the way, what time is it?" I looked for a clock, and Connor interrupted my search.

"Nine forty-five. You have fifteen minutes." Mike seemed really relieved. He then headed out the door, probably towards the house he was told to meet at.

"Well, Connor, guess it's just you an' me. Whaddya say we talk about our past. Like, I'm from the Roman Empire. When are you from?" He sounded rather proud upon telling me his time era.

"I was born during the Hooftorian Yorkshire. Manebridge, England."

"*whistle* Quite intriguing, if I do say so myself." He seemed to be interesting, for a pony who has no friends.

"Listen, I know we probably got off on the wrong hoof, so—"

"Relax, you're forgiven." Connor stuck out his hoof. I promptly shook it. That was the end of that. Now all I had to do was find the other two "Alpha Warriors" or whoever.