Big Mac and Starlight Glimmer's Bogus Journey

by jason_130

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Romance, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 1706

YAH HAR ME MATIES! DO YOU LITTLE SCALLYWAGS WANT TO GO ON A S-S-S-S-SPACE ADVENTURE?!

An epic tale of mystery and merriment between two unlikely cohorts with high amounts of adventure and sci-fi realism.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-19 16:53:26 UTC

Salanthropissed

Starlight Glimmer is walking casually through a field for no rhyme or reason when Big Mac, the Destroyer of Horse-Pussy, walked up and said, "Fuck." Then they fucked.

Chapter End.

Bioshitted

The continuation of the fucking is fully commenced. Apple Bloom then looked on in horror herself, got over it, then proceeded to attempt to scratch her cutie mark off with a rusty bucket.

The cutie mark then peeled off like a fake tattoo, revealing underneath a picture of a brown pony with a beard, eye-patch, cigar, and bandanna, with a large black stone sticking out of his forehead.

Chapter End.

Hotline Viagraami

The fucking was resumed, although it had never ceased, as they both now lied in a puddle of their own fluids and mud of the open field.

At one point in time a sizable crowd had grown around them, but they all quickly died when the winter came. (Plant pun)

Chapter End.

I Spit Hot Fiya with My Mixtapes

The two carried on their fuck-business. Then a teen by the name of JT the Fuckboy [friend insert] proceeded to do horrible, unspeakable things while watching to everyone involved, for the sole reason of him being a Fuckboy...

...and no one loves him (fuck you JT).

Chapter End

*Angry Airhorn Noises*

*Angry Airhorn Noises*

An airhorn in the corner of field happened to notice Starlight and Big Mac doing their fuck, when a zombie plague broke out around them. In order to warm them of their cumming danger, he did the only thing he knew how... blowing his top repeatedly and making angry airhorn noises, which did get their attention. Big Mac then promptly picked Starlight Glimmer up, still speared upon his rock solid flesh pillar, and moved about 4 inches to the right (your right not my right) which saved them from the zombie plague.

Chapter End

Six More Chapters and We'll Be Good To Go

Starlight Glimmer and Big Mac paused for a moment... then realized their mistake and once again began their fucking.

Chapter End.

Oedipus Wrecks On Father's Day

Big Mac and Starlight Glimmer were getting slightly tired of their consistent fucking, but upon think this thought, that they thought about thinking of, they saw Fluttershy walking with a small foal that appeared to be her daughter. The thought occurred to them that several years had passed since they had begun their fucking. Seeing Fluttershy with her hermaphrodite child filled them with horrendous arousal and they continued fucking, with renewed strength and zeal.

End Chapter.

Fun Fact; Soul Grinder Love Balloons

So, Big Mac and Starlight Glimmer (blablabla fuck and stuff- bitch you know the deal). Big Mac was about to "finish" for the 100,575th time, when, in order to spice things up, Big Mac used one of his Limit Break, Soul Grinder. His dick began to spin like a power drill causing Starlight's uterus to turn into a fine paste, along with the undelivered baby corpse that had died from all the fucking.

Chapter End.

Toasters From the 1700's

Far above Big Mac and Starlight's fucking, the battle barge known as the Litany of Litany's Litany had been embedded into a Chaos Space Hulk, known as the Fury Fuck of Angron. Each of the Chaos Spehss Mehreens inside were being brutally slaughtered by the Force Commander known as Sickle Dick Gut Crusher.

Upon reaching the bridge and defeating the Chaos Spehss Mahreen leader in a head-butting competition, Sickle Dick was surprised to hear the Spehss Mehreen leader still alive. He uttered out in his dying breaths, "You fool, you do not realize what you have done..." To which Sickle Dick replied to with, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

"You fool... none of your actions... are..." He suddenly gets a burst of energy, "ARE CANON, AND HAVE NO EFFECT ON THE MAIN STORY LINE."

Chapter End.

Fruit Punch to the Vagina

Apples are fruits right? Well eventually Big Mac got bored of annihilating Starlight's pink ravine with his long John Dongson, so he decided to switch to something where he would be getting his hooves dirty. He then began unleash his Anal Assault Pack; When Lube is Not an Option™. His hooves (yes, both of them) were shoved DEEP inside of Starlight Glimmer. Starlight Glimmer by this point was being torn asunder by Big Mac's thick, meaty, powerful horse legs. Starlight was slowly and excruciatingly painfully being ripped into two separate pieces, a Red Sea bridging the gap between the gap (gettin' all metaphorical n' shit. Bible stuff yo (I ain't even)).

Chapter End.

I Wanted Seven More Chapters Fuck You

"Yeah so, right, yeah, like, y'know, like, what?" Big Mac said to Starlight Glimmer. They had been conversing in a fashion similar to this for several days while performing a mating ritual inside the previously mentioned space station's animal habitat. The science team had been studying them then gave a report, stating they had been at this for around 6,000,000,000 years when they started to record them. None of them understand or comprehend how two creatures could even exist for that long, considering they were both part of a long dead empire of a long dead species...

Yes, they ponies are deeeed (woooohh spooooky).

Chapter End.

Glow Like Thermonuclear Invasion

Starlight Glimmah Shimmah and Big Mac's body heat had created a dynamo in the decaying laboratory, the walls had melted, the floor had turned to jelly, and all the scientists had had their flesh incinerated off of their bones.

Eventually the floor simply gave way, allowing Starlight and Big Mac to descend into space. Since the planet had been long gone, they began to float off into the endless vastness that is space.

End Chapter.

Herpagonahsiphilaids

So 6000 years later, a man named Joe (another friend insert) was watching Berg Merc and Sterlerght Glermmer fucking and thought to himself, "Y'know what would be fuckin' cool? If this shit was in space."

Suddenly, Joe witnessed the pair of millennia old horses begin to ascend to the heavens, transcending the mortal coil and becoming beings of pure energy, shedding their mortal shell, and advancing higher than any creature that had ever existed. As this was happening, Joe was so dumbstruck by what was happening that he failed to notice the all-consuming, abyssal void that had begun to envelop all planes of reality as a whole. As Joe was being swallowed by said void, he lamented to himself, "This is it..."

"This is truly oblivion..."

Chapter End.

Toriel- [Fight] [Act] [Mercy] [Wreck]

"You know I have always kind of admired goats," Starlight Glimmer said to Big Mac, who had not pulled out of Starlight for several millennium.

"Why is that?" Big Mac questioned.

"Well they're usually so cute and the make those weird bleating noises or sometimes scream i don't know to me it just kind of sound cool to be a goat you know?" Big Mac stared at Starlight Glimmer for several seconds and then said,

"Yeah I mean maybe, i just say fuck it you know."

Chapter End.

Gunshot Y'know?

As Big Mac and Starlight floated through the black void of deep space they passed by many planets, solar systems, and even galaxies, before colliding with a planet only God knows where is. The planet itself had yet to be named because the creatures there had yet to gain sentience.

Whilst fucking, Starlight dubbed the planet, Equestria because she was an unimaginative degenerate. Big Mac agreed subconsciously.

A thousand years passed, and the existing life on the planet began to develop into more complex beings. Starlight, with her shining brilliance, called these creatures, ponies. Like Jesus Christ Starlight, with all those plans to take over the world, one would think you'd be a little more creative. Once again, being the simple minded individual that he was, Big Mac agreed with Starlight on the name, despite her never having said a single word.

Chapter End.

Soma-anytitties

Big Mac and Starlight Glimmer continue to fuck in the empty field as Applejack looked on in horror. She then got over it and continued to do her Appul Hors bullshit.

Chapter End.

It's so long like my pool noodle in Burbank

The fucking had gone full-throttle and had hit the nitrous approximately four times (if you know what I mean). A Tau Fire Warrior looked at them, wondered where he was and thought, "This shall not be some shitty cross-over," and promptly killed himself.

The death and corpse of an alien with advanced technology did nothing to stop them from doing their dirty deed in the dead plains, (alliteration) for winter had come.

End Chapter.

This Chapter Has Crotch-Titties

The fucking persisted for an such extended period of time, that Starlight Glimmer had her period whilst fucking. Big Mac began to investigate, for he was a country pony, and he wasn't good enough for a city man. He gazed down upon the gaping toothed maw that was Starlight's horse-pussy, before his eyes locked with her enormous, abyss-like nipples that were perched on her bulbous orbs she called her crotch-titties.

Luckily, the venerable ultra-geyser of blood spewing from Starlight Glimmer did not deter Big Mac in the slightest, for bloody crotch-tittes were his secret fetish, like all beings in the multiverse.

Chapter End.

Ultimate Apocalips

"You know it's getting harder and harder to think of synonyms for 'they continued to fuck,'" Starlight Glimmer complained. Big Mac then replied with, "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time that I met this one pony who was really into plastic surgery? She had these huge pink, plastic lips that barely fit on her face, and a plot that looked like she had two plastic, inflatable balloons under her fur." Starlight Glimmer asked, "Did that pony have giant plate-like eyes that took up like 90% of her face?" Big Mac looked surprised, "Yeah, she was probably one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen, how'd you know?" Starlight Glimmer gives him "The Look," "Yeah that was me during high school. Corrective surgery is a bitch."

They resumed their fucking in awkward silence for the rest of that century.

Chapter End.