May - 2012 (T.W.G.)

by The Writer's Group

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna
Length: 9858

A mix of ludicrous and a dash of WUT.

A mix of ludicrous and a dash of WUT. Here are the responses to the prompts of May - 2012.

Premise: In five-hundred and fifty words or less, please respond (in the most amusing way possible) to one of the prompts.

Cover art by: Owlor.

Published 2012-06-17 13:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-19 13:32:38 UTC

The Ponyville Auditions! - Samaru163

Author: Samaru163

Prompt: Celestia is sick, now who's gonna rule Equestria while she recovers?

Title: The Ponyville Auditions!

“ATTENTION CITIZENS OF EQUESTRIA!” Luna spoke in the royal Canterlot voice. “OUR BELOVD SISTER AND YOUR PRINCESS, CELESTIA, HAD FALLEN ILL.”

“The horror, the horror!”

“AS SUCH, WE SHALL BE HOSTING AUDITIONS FOR THE NEW CO-RULER OF EQUESTRIA, UNTILL OUR SISTER IS FIT TO RESUME HER DUTIES! SHOULD ANYPONY BE INTERESTED, COME TO THE LIBRARY IN PONYVILLE! P.S no main characters allowed.”

“Aw come on!” Rainbow Dash lamented.

And so with Celestia’s faithful student Twilight Sparkle by her side, Princess Luna began hosting the very first Alicorn Auditions!

They did not go well!
*****

“Ok so Ms. Vinyl Scratch, why should you be chosen for the job?” Twilight inquired.

“Well I am a well respected DJ who promises to give everypony the night they deserve!” There was the sound of a single pair of hooves clapping outside.

“We would like for you to repeat the following phrase.” Luna said. “Hello my faithful subjects.” What resulted was several dozen bits worth of damage to the library’s book shelves. “Next!”
*****

“Now Derpy, if chosen what will you do to help the ponies of Equestria?”

“Muffins?” the pegasus responded.

Twilight and Luna both just looked at each-other for a moment. “We’ll be sure to stay in touch, Next!”
*****

“So Cloud Chaser, why should you be considered for the job?”

“If elected, I promise to eliminate all storm clouds!” She responded proudly.

Luna buried her head in her hooves. “But then we’ll have no rain.” Twilight said.
“Don’t worry, we don't need rain that much!”

“Next!”
*****

“Hello, my name is Doctor Whooves, and-“

“Next!”

“But-“

“NEXT!”
*****

“So Colgate, please repeat this sentence. Hello my faithful student.”

“Hello my faithful student, how about a checkup?”

Luna shook her head in shame. “Well she’s no Charlie Sheen, but I see some potential on her.”

Sighing Luna turned back to Colgate. “We thank you for your time. Next!”
*****

“Ok Bonbon, show us what you got.”

Suddenly the door burst open and Lyra ran inside. “It’s all a conspiracy! Humans are behind everything! I tell you this time I’m right!” She continued to scream as two guards escorted her out.

“Can we trouble you for a reschedule?” Luna asked. Bonbon gave a quick nod and then headed after her friend.

“Who’s next Twilight?”

“We still have half the population of Ponyville, plus all the ponies in the other towns. The next one should be in soon.”

“Wait!” Luna screamed. She reached down under their desk and pulled up a large mug of cider. Quickly she downed it and then turned to Twilight. “Ok, now we may proceed.”

Moments worth Sharing - TheBardBrony

Author: TheBandBrony

Prompt: Celestia and Cake.

Title: Moments worth Sharing

Princess Celestia sat on the cold, stoic tile of the royal balcony overlooking the better half of East Canterlot. The royal wedding and subsequent afterparty that had only ended a few short hours ago had really worn her out, but she wanted to take a moment, however brief, to enjoy the cooling night air.

Alone.

Loneliness was the worst kind of pain possible. That stomach churning need for the companionship of others that slowly but surely tightened her chest like her heart had been caught in a vice. Only others could heal this hurt. And she had nopony.

She didn’t have her prized pupil, who was out orchestrating the clean up (a very audacious task, considering the scale of the party). She didn’t have her sister, who was off searching the farthest reaches of Equestria for any remaining Changelings. She didn’t even have her loyal subjects, who were napping the night away, blissfully unaware of their leader’s lament.

She was completely and totally alone.
Knock Knock

“Now who could that be?” wondered Celestia aloud as she got up and trotted towards the door of the balcony, a confused look creeping onto her face. She wasn’t expecting anypony. Perhaps it was a lost partygoer who unknowingly wandered into her private quarters. Or maybe one of her aides, carrying another stack of paperwork for her to fill out.

“Um, Princess? Are you there?”

Celestia recognized the pony even before she opened the door; she only knew one pony with a voice that soothing and innocent..

“Fluttershy! How are you this evening?” The princess smiled wearily at the butter yellow pegasus as she bowed to her ruler. “Please, you know I don’t like such formalities. Please rise.”

The pony cringed, hiding her face behind her mane. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I just forgot, and-I’m sorry...” she trailed off into indecipherable mumbling, punctuated by weak “I’m sorry’s.”

“It’s okay, really.” Celestia snickered inwardly at the pegasus’s introversion. “What did you come out here for, if I may ask?”

Fluttershy perked up a bit, poking her face out of her mane. “Oh, yes.” From under her wing, she produced a small paper plate wrapped in foil. “Pinkie brought our a cake after you left, so I saved you a slice. If you want it, I mean.”

Deep inside Celestia, a tiny fireworks display showered her mind with sparks as a warm, fuzzy feeling welled up inside her. “Oh-why... thank you Fluttershy. That was very kind.” Grasping the plate in a magical aura, she levitated it out to her previous perch on the balcony.

“I’m glad you liked it. I should be going then.” Fluttershy turned to leave, but stopped mid stride as Celestia rested a regal hoof on her shoulder.

“Actually... would you like to stay for a while? I’d love some company.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose-”

The princess waved her hoof dismissively. “Nonsense. I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend the evening.”

After a moment of hesitation, she nodded. “Okay. That sounds lovely.” As she made herself comfortable on the cold tile of the balcony, she sighed softly, causing her mane to quiver a bit. “This is very nice.”

The princess gave the horizon a smile. Suddenly, the world didn’t seem so empty anymore. “Yes,” she finally answered, “it really is.”

Resupply the Pie! - Cytotoxin

Author: Cytotoxin

Prompt: Pinkie Pie goes shopping for party supplies.

Title: Resupply the Pie!

The party was a great success,
All joy and fun to the excess,
But for elation to progress
The ponies need the cake!

The cake, delicious and moist,
The juice to lift up with the toast,
The cookies ponies love the most
We must acquire post-haste!

There will be no delay in this,
No chill to steal the party mist,
For party mistress with a twist,
Into the shop we go!

The food and drink are in on the back,
Now party can get right on track,
Just wait a second while I write a check,
How much you said it was?

But wait, we make another stop,
No ear shall twitch, no hoof shall clop,
While we are in the fireworks shop,
The bang for party - SO!

And while the bang is measured out
With no delay we make the cut
Of finest streamers - a whole pound,
A rainbow color show!

Another stop, this time for dance,
And we might get another chance,
To see the DJ do the prance,
Hey, Vinyl, how`s the flow?

And now, the load is in the vault,
No fail with those supplies, no fault,
But, ohmygosh, the stars are out,
Now Pinkie Pie must snore...

“Misfits like us” OR “Art is rebellion” OR “I love puns and I'm a music dork.” - Owlor

Author: Owlor

Prompt: Celestia and cake.

Title: “Misfits like us” OR “Art is rebellion” OR “I love puns and I'm a music dork.”

Everypony in the crowd knew they shouldn't be here. Vinyl stepped up to the microphone and began to sing:
I want a mare with hair like a diamond
I want a mare who know what's best
I want a mare with a tongue that cuts
And eyes that burns like cigarettes
A blue spotlight swept across the crowd.
I want a girl who's a white Alicorn
Who's fast and trollolific
and sharp as a tack
she's playing with her subjects
she's putting up her hair
She's touring through Canterlot
And picking up slack

I want a mare with a short temper and a looong lifepsan....
Vinyl punctuated the breakdown with a head-bang.
I want a mare who gets up early
"GETS UP EARLY!" chanted the crowd.
I want a mare who stays up late
"STAYS UP LATE!"
I want a mare with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses black magic, to cut through red tape
With hoos that shines like justice
and a voice that's bright as polished brass
The night was cold and dark outside. Inside, her song continued:
She's fast and thorough
and sharp as a tack
she's touring through Canterlot
and picking up slack.

I want a mare with a short temper and a looong lifepsan...
“Maybe I'll get away with it this time?” she thought
I want a mare that marbelizes enemies
I want a mare, that's rough for a toon
and in Canterlot we'll meet accidently
while she sends her sister to the moon

she wants a way to troll with the masses
She's holding them down with laughter and fear
she's changing her laws when it suits her purpose
she's using power weilded for thousands of years.

I want a mare with a short temper and a long lifepsan....
The song ended with five guards storming into the hall.
"Everybody freeze! This artist has been banned from performing by the Equestrian Bureau of decency, attending a concert by a banned artist is a crime according to the Common Law section five paragraph twelve."
Two guards made their way up on stage to arrest Vinyl Scratch. She levitated a bottle of mace and sprayed it right in their faces. A rope was tossed down from the skylight.
Seeing their fallen comrades, two other guards ran up on stage after her, but it was too late.
"You'll never keep us down, Ars gratia artis, motherbuckers!" she proclaimed and then grabbed onto the rope with her mouth and was hoisted up.
When she got to the top of the building, Octavia reached down to help her up. The two ponies' eyes met, nearly oblivious of the commotion underneath for a moment.
"y'know, I could just stand here forever," Octavia remarked.
"Yeah, if you want to get arrested, Vinyl said. "I hope you trained your parkour moves."
"Oh always."
The two ponies rushed in unison towards the ledge and jumped across it. They fled over the rooftops of Manehattan, not stopping until the reached the edge of the city.
"what now?" Octavia asked as they ducked down into an alley.
"We do it all again" Vinyl Scratch said. “Until the world becomes a little better place for misfits like us.”

Celestia Eats Cake - KartalTheWriter

Author: KartalTheWriter

Prompt: Celestia and cake.

Title: Celestia Eats Cake

It was beautiful: over five feet tall, chocolate infested, sugar injected, icing coated, softness tested, delectable, delicious, mouth-watering, taste-defying, mind-altering cake!

And Celestia was going to eat the whole thing herself. In one sitting. And no pony was going to stop her…
Then came the infernal knock at the door. Celestia caught herself; she was about to get mad at whoever was going to interrupt her feast. That was not ladylike. Celestia must show a good example to the lesser ponies.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” Celestia shouted at the door. In the outburst, the door had come off the hinges. Oh well. That could be easily fixed. Celestia’s patience, however, was a different matter entirely.
The pony at the door, who was just a lowly mail pony, was shaking and cowering and groveling, and doing all manner of unpleasant things.

“WELL?” Celestia fixed her now twitching eye on the messenger. The poor earth pony couldn’t speak, but he pulled a letter out of his mailbag and held it out to the Princess. Growling in frustration, the Princess snatched the letter from the mail pony and slapped it on the table to read it.

Needless to say, the mail pony fled after Celestia had released him from her levitation. It was said that he immediately pledged his sole allegiance to Luna that day…But Celestia didn’t believe in rumors.
Celestia looked at the note and without even opening it began to compliment it.

“The handwriting on the front is completely ugly, the envelope is greasy, I think someone smashed a fly on the front, and the stamp is of Luna and not me. Therefore it is USELESS!” and with that, Celestia made the poor, innocent letter go boom.

“BOOM!” Celestia laughed as she watched the fragments of paper catch fire like a dying phoenix.

“Except you’ll never haunt me again!” And then Celestia laughed like crazy.

Suddenly, she just stopped and coughed softly and very girlishly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time alone. Maybe if I spent more time with other ponies I wouldn’t get into these moods. Luna did tell me to lay off the extra ingredients in my cakes…” With her thoughts running back to that beautiful piece of perfection sitting on the table in front of her, Celestia sighed lovingly and admired her cake for another few seconds.

“You don’t have the special ingredients, though. You came straight from the bakeries of Sugarcube Corner, down in Ponyville. Now don’t you just feel so special?”

The cake did not answer back. This angered the Princess.

“So you think this is funny, do you? Well I’ll show you!”

But before Celestia could give that cake some good old fashioned cartoon violence, a green wisp of smoke swirled in front of her face. She caught the scroll before it landed on her precious cake, fortunately. She recognized the name on the scroll and suddenly became a different pony.

“Oh! It’s my faithful student Twilight! I wonder what she has to say today!” Celestia read the letter with interest, then tossed it on the pile with the rest unenthusiastically.

“Definitely losing her touch.” Celestia muttered, turning back to her cake. But the cake was nowhere to be found.

“WHERE IS MY CAKE?!” Celestia roared, knocking over the table in her rage.

There was a faint smacking sound and Celestia turned to see Luna, licking icing off her lips.

The rest is too disturbing for words. Let’s just say that Luna’s been on the moon ever since that day…

Sweet Sacrifice - arcTangent

Author: arcTangent

Prompt: Celestia and Cake

Title: Sweet Sacrifice

Meetings. Celestia hated meetings.

There were meetings almost every single moment of every single day: meetings about maintenance of the castle, meetings about diplomatic relations with other countries, meetings about ending poverty in San Franciscolt.

The meetings went on and on for hours, never seeming to end. Nothing ever felt like it was getting done. It was just meeting after pointless meeting. The only purpose Celestia saw in this meetings was to keep her from that…

Her true love.

Finally, after the umpteenth meeting of the day, he schedule was free. The day was over, and she could retire to her private chambers. She concluded the assembly and quickly left the room, already fantasizing about what she would find when she got to her room.

Her heart raced as she galloped down the long hallway. Her bedroom was at the end of the hall, two large wooden doors signaling the entrance into the princess’s royal sleeping quarters. Those two doors were now the only things standing between her and the object of her affections.

She was so close she could almost taste it.

Using magic power from her long horn, she swung open the tall doors. There he was, lying on her bed, patiently waiting for her to return from her royal duties as ruler of Equestria. For now, though, the only thing she would be ruling was his body.

All thoughts of arduous diplomats and prattling associates were swept aside as the princess gracefully lay down on her bed next to him. “Hello, darling,” she whispered promiscuously into his ear.

He remained silent. There was no need for talking now.

She burrowed her muzzle into his soft exterior, embracing his gentle touch on her skin. He left his creamy whiteness all over her face. Smiling playfully, she stuck out her tongue and slowly licked the sweet fluid off her face, feeling the cool touch of it as it ran down her throat.

“Sister?” came a voice from the door. “What art thou doing at this hour?”

Celestia spun around in horror to see Princess Luna standing in her doorway. Celestia was sitting on her bed, her face half-buried in a slice of cake, whipped cream coating the outer edges of her mouth.

“Luna!” the princess of the sun cried out, regaining her royal dignity. “How dare you enter your sister’s room without permission!”

Before the moon princess could react, Celestia magically slammed the doors shut, leaving her alone with her one true love.

“I’m so sorry, dear,” she said as she proceeded to eat the rest of the cake. “I can promise you there will be no more interruptions.”

Wait… gloves!? - CosmicAfro

Author: CosmicAfro

Prompt: Rarity makes gloves, but nopony knows what to use them for.

Title: Wait… gloves!?

Bon-Bon meandered down Ponyville market, searching shops for an interesting item to replace the surprise for her marefriend accidentally ruined this morning. While Caramell was a nice stallion, his clumsiness was something to be admired. Wiping her mind clear of just how somepony could trip backwards three times and smash the new lyre frame, she continued her trek.

“Well that’s great, Rarity. What exactly… is it?” Bon-bon eavesdropped from a distance, pretending to be interested in the lemon stand. The voice sounded like that one very timid mare whose name escaped her at the moment.

“Well, Fluttershy, it’s a glove.”

Right, that was it, Fluttershy.

“What’s it for? I can’t imagine anypony needing one.”

“Well,” she rebuttled with her air of regality, “it’s for a new client, Iron Will.”

“Oh, how is he?” Fluttershy asked with a voice of actual concern.

“He’s fine, his business is still doing well. What I find particularly interesting is that he only ordered one glove and I made two. I just don’t know what to do with the other!”

“Can’t you send him the other one?”

“Unfortunately, unlike hoof-boots, thumbs are on different sides of the hand, dear.”

Hearing enough, Bon-Bon approached the two chatty mares. “Excuse me, Rarity?”

“Oh, Bon-Bon? Is that you?”

“Yes.” She quickly reminded herself to greet her pegasus companion. “Hey Fluttershy.”

“Oh… uhm… hi.”

“So, that… glove. Could that be used with instruments?”

The elegant fashionista levitated up the solid white hand cover and extended her lower lip with a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. “I’m not sure how you mean, dear.”

“Well, Lyra has been down lately because there are only so many chords she can make with one stroke of a hoof. This might be just the thing I’m looking for.”

“I think it’s a lovely idea,” The butter-yellow pegasus meekly replied, “I think it would work well for somepony with Lyra’s talents.”

“Well, I don’t see how I could say no to that.”

Bon-Bon held out a hoof, ready to swipe the glove out of mid-air, but Rarity drifted it slightly back. “But I also need to pay for the expenses, dearie.”

Of course… she might be the element of generosity, but she still drove hard bargains.

“How much?”

“Five thousand bits.”

“FIVE THOUS-“ slapping a hoof over her mouth, the candy-flank mare retried, “five thousand!?”

“Well of course! It was made of only the finest silk interwoven with fresh clouds imported all the way from the jungles of the Mareazon! To demand any less would be criminal.”

“It’s a flimsy piece of cloth!”

“Well then I don’t see why you’d want it then.”

Well… that was a b#$^#.
___

She opened the door slowly, empty hoofed for the anniversary. But, what she found was a room lit entirely with candles with rose petals littered about the floor.

“Oh my, what’s this?”

Out from the hallway across the room, her partner waltzed out on her hind legs, wearing a skimpy skin tight outfit.

“It’s our anniversary… and I saw the smashed Lyre hidden in the trash and you at the market arguing with Rarity. So… I stole it.”

“Oh, but what would we use a glove for?” she asked, seductively.

“Let’s find out…”

A not unwelcome guest - Merc the Jerk

Author: Merc the Jerk

Prompt: Rarity makes gloves, but nopony knows what to use them for.

Title: A not unwelcome guest

Rarity heaved a sigh as she rested her hooves on the front counter of her shop. The project she had just finished was excruciating, but she knew it would be worth it once her client came by to pick it up.

The sound of knocking at the door tore the white unicorn from her thoughts.

“Come in!” She cheerfully replied, brightening at the thought of her client arriving so early. Instead, it was Twilight. She took a tentative step inside, waving a hoof in greeting.

“Hey there, Rarity! What's going on?”

Rarity kindly smiled at her friend. “Just finishing up a rather unusual piece, dear. Would you like to see it?”

“Sure.” Twilight nodded, approaching the counter.

Rarity pushed a sizable pile of cloth over to the floor to clear room, and placed a strange object onto the counter. It was a piece of clothing made from white cloth, about hoof sized, and covered in gems, almost reminding Twilight of a hoof glove. What seemed off, however, was the fact that this hoof glove ended in five narrow tubes. It seemed almost like a glove for clawed creatures, but it seemed an irregular size for a clawed appendage.Twilight blinked at the object Rarity presented to her.

“Uh, Rarity? What is this, exactly?”

“Well, darling. It's a... um...” Rarity paused in her response. “Well, I don't know what it is, darling. I just know I was commissioned to do work for a very important pony, and he requested that I make it to his specifications.”

“Are you sure he's a pony?” Twilight asked.

“Well, no. I don't know what he is. He said I'd know him when I saw him.” Rarity shrugged.

Twilight took one more look at the modified hoof glove. “Well... he's not a minotaur, the slots they put their fingers in are too slender for something like that. He couldn't be an elder dragon, either, as it's too small. Pony, of course, isn't right. That isn't leaving us many options...”

“I'm sure it's not important, as long as his bits are good, there's no need to wonder about it.”

“Are you really not just a bit interested?” Twilight pressured. “I mean, what if he's some sort of creature we've never seen before? Do you have some contingency plan to deal with him? Do you think it's a hyper intelligent monkey or something?” Twilight nervously frowned. “I'm just saying, what if he's trouble?”

“Baby, just shut your mouth...” A melodious male voice proclaimed from inside the room.

David Bowie violently erupted from the pile of cloth Rarity brushed away moments ago. He casually adjusted the stage costume he was wearing.

“DAVID MOTHERBUCKING BOWIE!” Rarity and Twilight shouted in unison amid the mess.

“This ain't rock n' roll... This is GENOCIDE!” He screamed, donning the glove Rarity made for him, and materializing a flaming guitar out of the ether and into his hands. He proceeded into a jam session that resulted in a horrific block fire, killing thirty seven ponies and was hailed by the Rolling Stone as the greatest concert of the decade.

I've always wanted to use the world's best creepypasta in a story. I just couldn't help myself! :trollestia:

Twilight's Birthday - overdonefictions

Author: overdonefictions

Prompt: Pinkie Pie goes shopping for party supplies

Title: Twilight's Birthday

Pinkie Pie awoke on a bright and sunny Equestrian day. She looked out her window and began her usual morning routine.

"Good morning sun!"

"Good morning Pinkie."

She ran downstairs from her room in Sugarcube Corner, greeting each and every cooking utensil. She hesitated saying hello to her calendar, looking at the date first.

"Oh my. Calendar, do you know what day it is?" Pinkie asked, putting her hooves on her sides.

"Yes, I do. It's Twilight's birthday!"

"YAAAAAAY!" Pinkie ran out the door and across the street to the party supply store. Pinkie giggled maniacally, running up and down the aisle, emptying the contents of each and every shelf into her shopping cart. Pinkie then approached the cashier. The cashier smiled at Pinkie. Pinkie stared her down.

"Cut the sh*t, you know what I'm here for, and it ain't you."

The cashier was shocked by Pinkie's sudden change in mood. She uttered the faint words "Is something wrong?"

"Ah, I'm just joshin' ya. Here's my Amareican Express card."

The cashier gladly swiped the card, seeing that Pinkie wasn't upset at her. She hooved Pinkie her card and Pinkie took off with her party goods. She ran at the door, waited for it to slowly open, as automatic doors do, then rushed out in the direction of Twilight's house.

Pinkie ran and ran, faster and faster. The wheels of her cart squeaked at each rotation. Pinkie finally leapt up into the cart and proceeded to ride the metal basket on wheels all the way to Twilight's library. Pinkie flew by other ponies on the street, all of whom were accustomed to the "Oh Celestia Pinkie's throwing a birthday party, get out of the way" ordeal. Pinkie arrived at Twilight's library with a crash. She went straight through the wooden door. Splinters and shards of wood were everywhere. Pinkie stood at the top of her mountain of party supplies, all stuffed into one cart, and yelled at the top of her lungs, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Twilight, who was nearby, studying, was completely flabbergasted. She finally managed a reply
"Pinkie. You know my birthday is tomorrow right?"

THE END

DIY - Aethraspex

Author: Aethraspex

Prompt: Pinkie Pie goes shopping for party supplies.

Title: DIY

The bell tinkled. That pink earth pony trotted into the shop again.

Trotted... is not quite the right word. It was ever hard to describe what Pinkie did, now as ever.

She was acting strange today- not unusually unusual, but odd nonetheless. She seemed to slide around the shop, taking streamers, candy, colourful hats and the like, and dropped them before the cashier. While she tallied the items, counting products she didn’t realise they stocked, Pinkie gave her a nod.

It was that nod, the one that strictly speaking, never happened.

Whenever the nod that never happened occurs, Pinkie always checked the windows. This time was no exception, except that she seemed exceptionally careful as she peeked pusillanimously past the panes. Justifiably, apparently; merely peering sent her careening over the counter for cover in the cupboard, bringing along every article she now possessed. The slamming of one door barely preceded another’s opening, the cupboard’s shuffling lost under the tinkling of bells.

“Welcome to Piper’s party provision purveyors!” sang Piper the cashier. She clearly declared the same sentence to every mare, stallion or foal who fell through that door. More importantly, she always added “May I help you?”

“Yes, yes you may,” Said the first of the purple-maned unicorns “Have you seen a pink earth pony around here?”

“Do you mean Pinkie Pie? Why yes, I just saw her heading to Sugarcube Corner about fifteen minutes ago,”

“We were just there! Where could she be?”

Piper certainly did not look at the cupboard, instead, Piper shrugged. “It’s useless darling, who knows where Pinkie disappears off to all the time?”

“This is important Rarity! I need to ask her about the thing I found near the well”

“You’re absolutely certain you saw her there?” Twilight stared, saying It’s Pinkie Pie, all in the look. “Point taken.”

Piper certainly did not respond to the expletive she could have imagined hearing from the cupboard behind her, no matter her curiosity. “Pardon me, but could I see this thing you’re talking about” Piper interjected.

Twilight lifted a strange metallic orb from her saddle bag and placed it delicately on the counter. Piper perused the perplexing globe, unable to find a word to describe it. Where lexicon failed, however, memory served true. She had seen some of these parts- like that spiky thing that glowed- on this counter not more than five minutes ago, still fresh in her memory. “Do you have any clue what it is?” inquired Twilight.

“None at all” the cashier lied, making every effort to keep the rattling cupboard out of mind.

“Is something wrong with-” Twilight was cut off. Understandable, considering she suddenly found pink pony hurtling towards her from out of a cupboard amongst a flurry of streamers. Not only that, but the thing on the desk was exploding too, blowing colourful hats straight into everypony’s head. Outside it began to rain candy as all of Ponyville rang with one word from a hidden chorus.

“SURPRISE!!” they screamed, with suspicious similarity to a certain stunned party planner. That statement was redundant- everypony was stunned from Everfree to Sweet Apple Acres.

Then Pinkie, all of a sudden, as the party beats began to play, began to laugh.

“I DID IT!” she giggled “I finally planned my own surprise party!”

The Dangers of Drunk Darning - Kavonde

Author: Kavonde

Prompt: Rarity makes gloves, but nopony knows what to use them for.

Title: The Dangers of Drunk Darning

Sweetie Belle awoke with a start. Somepony was pounding on her door with enthusiasm. She glanced out the window; the moon was still out, and she guessed it was around three in the morning. Grumbling, she slid out of bed, clopped across the room, and twisted the knob. Then she dodged quickly out of the way as Rarity, her weight resting on the previously closed door, nearly stumbled right over her.

“Uh...Rarity?” the foal asked cautiously as her sister reeled to a stop. “Are you okay?”

“M'fine, m'fine! C'mon, gotta show ya this.”

Sweetie didn't move. “Are you drunk?”

“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity cried in theatrical dismay. “A lady is never drunk. What I am, what I am, is frickin' plastered!”

The foal stared at her sister in stony silence.

“C'mon,” the inebriated unicorn insisted, “gotta show ya this.”

With a sigh, Sweetie Belle followed her sister downstairs.
* * * * * * *

“Behold!” Rarity crowed, her creation hovering unsteadily around her head.

Sweetie Belle stared at it in bafflement. “Um...I really like its...mane?”

“Mane? What?” her sister asked, staring at the object in confusion. “Mane? No mane. S'no mane.”

“I don't see a mane,” Twilight Sparkle slurred from her sprawled position on the couch.

“S'cause there isn't a mane!” Rarity hollered, much too loudly.

“Rarity,” Sweetie Belle said carefully, “what is it?”

“Issfer Spike! Li'l Spikey-Wikey. Cute wi'l Spikey-Wikey.”

“He's totally in love with you,” Twilight called.

“Oh, I know!”

Sweetie cleared her throat. “Um, okay. It's for Spike. What is it?”

“S'...um...s'to keep his claws warm. S'fuzzy.”

“It's for his claws?”

“Eeeyup.”

Twilight snorted. “You sound like Big Mac!”

“Well, duh, s'cause I was, 'cause I was tryin' to!”

Sweetie Belle tugged on her sister's mane, getting her attention. “Okay, Rarity? Rarity, listen to me closely.”

She grunted.

“Spike--”

“Wi'l Spikey-Wikey.”

The foal rolled her eyes. “Wi'l Spikey-Wikey. How many claws does he have?”

Rarity suddenly looked fiercely thoughtful.

“He's got four!” Twilight shouted.

“Okay,” Sweetie Belle said. “How many claw...sleeve...things does this thing have?”

Rarity stared at it intensely. “Stop movin' it aroun', Sweetie.”

“I'm not even...you're...argh.” She rubbed her temple. “Five, Rarity. It has five.”

The older unicorn kept staring at it for a moment longer, then snorted and fell over on her side, heaving out extremely unladylike guffaws. Twilight looked up and examined the object for a second before belting out a laugh so hard that it knocked her off the couch. Both ponies lay on the floor, giggling uncontrollably.

“Wha's goin' on?” Fluttershy asked blearily from under the table.

Sweetie Belle shook her head and trotted back upstairs. “Confound these ponies,” she muttered darkly.

Something Old - Feefers

Author: Feefers

Prompt: Celestia and Cake.

Title: Something Old

Princess Celestia felt her wings silently ruffle in the wind, landing in the centre of Ponyville squared under the cover of darkness.
Silently, she stalked across the town square, her hooves making no sound as she walked.
She finally reached her goal, her wings folding in against her body.

Looking up the street she held her breath, was that a shadow?! Surely if anypony was still awake they would have seen her by now.
She stood still, keeping her breath held watching as the shadow passed in the distance; letting out a muffled sigh of relief.

Concentrating very hard an almost invisible glow of yellow magical energy started to work on the door, the handle twisting and turning slowly.
There was a sudden clunk as the door opened.

Princess Celestia darted inside the dark room peering around, the soft scent of breads, pastries and cakes finally starting to fill the air.
The Princess licked her muzzle looking around, sniffing the air trying to locate something particular.
She bit her lip, she couldn’t smell it anywhere in the bakery, maybe her information was wrong.

Closing her eyes briefly she concentrated, another shimmer of soft yellow magic appearing, this one started to snake slowly across the floor.
The magical energy trail continued to wind across the hard stone surface until it stopped; right at a large wicker basket.

Princess Celestia carefully approached lifting the basket lid up, peering in to the large cylinder of wicker.
She bent forwards probing around with her horn until there was a soft metallic clink.

Instantly she stopped, pulling her horn out looking around nervously, she was Princess Celestia, if she needed to come into somepony’s house at night then that is how it would be.
So why didn’t she come with the guards when they volunteered, she couldn’t stop thinking that.
She also knew that didn’t want anyone else being exposed, no chance of any of her loyal subjects finding this.
The shame burned in her still, she could hear ponies above her awake now mumbling to each other about a burglar or intruder.

Princess Celestia sighed, she had hoped it wouldn’t come do this, she focused on the basket as it blinked out of existence.
Just in time for Mister Cake to come down with a large frying pan in his mouth.
“P..p..princess Celestia?!” Mister Cake stammered looking towards Princess Celestia, the frying pan dropping out of his mouth and clattering to the floor.

Princess Celestia stood up fully, “I’m sorry to have disturbed you Mister Cake, My sister notified me of something dangerous in your house here and I have disposed of it.” She announced, it wasn’t a lie. Just not fully true.
“Oh.” Mister Cake said, not fully sure how one addresses a princess caught redhoofed breaking into your house, even if it was for a noble purpose.

“Well your majesty, “ Mister Cake finally said, “Whilst you are hear can I interest you in something to eat?”
Princess Celestia relaxed feeling significantly better, “I believe I will have one of those chocolate fancies.”

“No charge princess.” Mister Cake said.
He took a red square of paper and carefully wrapped the chocolate piece into it.
“Thank you,” Princess Celestia said, leaving the bakery as Mister Cake went back to bed.

Somepony Blue - Feefers

Author: Feefers

Prompt: Celestia is sick, now who's gonna rule Equestria while she recovers?

Title: Somepony Blue

Princess Celestia staggered up to her private room.
“Princess Celestia is very tired and is going to have a nap now.” She said slurring her speech.
Instantly the guard scuttled across helping her to the room.
“Of course, shall I advise Princess Luna she will need to take over?” The guard asked.
Princess Celestia nodded, “Yish, that would be for the best.”
The guard nodded and started to gallop off.

Princess Celestia closed the door and sighed relaxing, she’d get some peace today, maybe enough to do what needed to be done.

She looked over the large collection of very strange artefacts, she snorted a loose lock of her flowing mane out of her vision.

An empty soft drinks can of Coca-Cola, A plastic fork, thirty one mis-matching gloves, highlighter pen, glue stick, bag of skittles, stilleto knife and a one way train ticket to Tacoma Pennsylvania.

It was not your standard collection of mysterious human arterfacts, but it wasn’t totally unheard of for some to turn up, even as far out here in Equestria.

How had they all arrived here, what epic trip did they undertake to end up here hidden away in a dark room of a lonely tower, facing the princess of the land.

She gathered up the empty can, train ticket, plastic fork and knife before checking the glue stick. With a look of disdain she concentrated for a second, feeling her connection to the sun;even if it was still the dead of night. The connection flared into being and consume the objects.
Reducing them to ashes in seconds.

The skittles; she’d dispose of the packet and give the candies to the cakes, they’d have some fruity fancies for a day and be a sensation, small pay back for Mister Cake’s unquestioning nature.

The highlighter she’d keep, maybe magic it into a quil for Twilight to keep it as a novelty, there was no real threat from it.

Then there was the gloves.

She peered at the pile of fancy gloves magically floating one in front of her, staring intensely at the frilly object.

“Now how did you become conjured by one of my subjects.” She asked the inanimate object, far beyond sleep to care if anyone were to see her.

The glove limply floated there the fingers wiggling slightly in the air.

“Did you belong to someone, are you like that time we started getting all the socks?” Princess Celestia asked it, she started to pace around the object peering at it closely.

She stopped and glared at it intently focusing all her magical energy, searching all of Equestria for any signs of a hole in space, only to snort in frustration, nothing at all unusual came up for her.

“Problems sister?” Princess Luna asked, she hovered silently outside the window.

Princess Celestia smiled lovingly to her sister and shook her head, “Just some silly human objects turning up.”
“Most disconcerting.” Princess Luna examined a glove, seeing her tired sister “Shall I deal with them?” she asked.

Princess Celestia flopped to the floor nodding as she curled up already starting to drift to sleep, “Please sister, if you could.” Princess Celestia said.

Decades later, Thomas Scranton of Earth was setting up his Moon base, confused why there was a large pile of gloves up here.

Snack Time - GWFan

Author: GWFan

Prompt: Celestia and cake.

Title: Snack Time

The kitchen was as it always was, with various ponies scurrying about, making sure the salads were fresh, the hors d'œuvres were satisfying yet not too filling, the main course divine, but most importantly, they were putting the finishing touches on the dessert. In particular, a very large cake, sat slightly to one side, its white frosting and undoubtedly chocolate insides ready for the evenings banquette. In fact it may have been too inviting, for another pony was stirring, one who was not supposed to be in the kitchen at this hour. Staying close to the walls in order to stay hidden, she slunk past the cooks and sous-chefs, keeping her special prey in view. Closer and closer, she tiptoed. The cake was just in her reach. Only a few more steps and she could have one tasty bite.

“SISTER!”

Celestia froze with her mouth inches from her precious cake. Princess Luna stormed over to her. “I thought so. You’re trying to sneak a taste of cake again.”

“I suppose you’ve caught me red-hoofed, dear sister,” Celestia admitted.

Luna groaned. “We’ve discussed this. You need to stop snacking on cake in between meals. It’s not healthy. And besides, what would ponies say if they ever found out you had such a sweet tooth?”

“Oh, Luna, I doubt somepony would print that in a newspaper or something. Besides,” Celestia licked her lips, “it’s not like one little bite would hurt.” Celestia leaned down, intent on her prize.

“No! I forbid it!” Luna swept the cake away from Celestia’s mouth with her magic and held it close. “It’s true that many of our royal traditions are outdated in this new age, but keeping up one’s appearances is still quite valid. If you want cake, you are going to have to wait for dessert like the rest of us.”

Celestia smiled. “Okay. You win, Luna. Oh, by the way, would you mind looking out that window for a moment?”

Luna raised an eyebrow at the window to her immediate right. “As you wish. What exactly am I looking for?” The only thing she could see outside was a very beautiful afternoon.

“You must pay very close attention, dear sister, because there is about to be a SOLAR FLARE!”

Luna screamed and covered her eyes when a sudden light blinded her. It lasted for only seconds, but in that time, Luna felt the cake ripped away from her magic grasp and heard hoof steps galloping away. Rubbing the white spots out of her eyes, Luna seethed. “If that’s the way you want to play, fine!” Then she flew out the window.
Celestia meanwhile, giddily galloped down the hall with her precious cake.

“I can’t believe she fell for that a thousand and ten years after the last time.” She looked at the cake and licked her lips again. “Sorry, Luna, but it’s time for a snack.” Celestia happily closed her eyes and opened her mouth as she ran on. As a result, she didn’t see the dark shadow that flew in the doorway ahead of her.

“Huzzah! The surprise is-” SPLAT!

Celestia screamed, “Cake!” However, her precious cake was now smooshed on Luna’s face and crumbling onto the floor.
Luna licked her lips. “Mmmm. This is good cake.” Celestia lowered her head in defeat.

The Don of All Ponies - psp7master

Author: psp7master

Prompt: Celestia is sick, now who's gonna rule Equestria while she recovers?

Title: The Don of All Ponies

The lavender mare gulped. Surely, that day wasn't the best for her. To be exact, it was one of the worst. She stood before the regal throne, her head so low that she was able to see only the crimson-red carpet beneath her hooves.

"Maybe... Maybe there is a way I can fix my mistake?" she asked hopefully, not rising her head, hoping that maybe - just maybe! - the Don would take her young, sweet body and forgive her failure. False hopes. The Don wasn't into mares. Or stallions. Or anypony. He craved only power.

"There is no way you can repay the damage you've done to the Family, Miss Sparkle," an earth pony, who was standing next to the throne, said, looking at her through his sunglasses. "You will pay the only price we charge."

"No! Please, no! I'll do anything! ANYTHING!" the unicorn shouted as she was dragged out of the throne room.

The Don smiled. After Celestia's death, that was the last pony he needed to dispose of to make his life complete and his rule - supreme.

"Should I bring in the next one, Don?" the black earth pony in sunglasses asked.

The Don silently nodded. Yes, he desired to see the next one - he could be useful.

"Hey! Let go of me! And give me my screwdriver back, you!" a brown earth pony yelled as he was pushed into the chamber, the door being shut behind him.

"Mister Whooves," the black earth pony stated.

"Doctor Whooves," the newcomer replied. "And if- Oh. My..." he continued as he saw the Don. "That's- That's impossible! He is the one who rules over Equestria?! How could I not notice?" he shouted, running around the room in circles.

"We'd rather you slowed down, Doctor. We need your assistance. The Don needs it. And, if I were you, I would think twice before rejecting it - we have your sonic screwdriver. Your TARDIS. And, what is more important, your secret," the black pony said calmly.

"My- Oh no. Don't tell me-" the Time Lord began.

"Yes. The one with the Master. Remember - Fluttershy's house..."

"That's enough! That's enough!" the brown pony shouted. "I'll do what you need. Just... let me get away from this crazy planet after that."

The Don nodded.

"Very well," the black pony nodded as well. "You will be taken to your new room and instructed there."

The Doctor left the throne room, mumbling something indistinct.

Don Angel smiled and clapped his paws. His great plan would be fulfilled very soon. The rabbit race would rule over the world. And no one would stand in his way! No one!

Angel Bunny laughed, making the black pony gulp and flinch.

Something New - Feefers

Author: Feefers

Prompt: Rarity makes gloves, but nopony knows what to use them for.

Title: Something New

Rarity glared at the elegant creation before her.
Soft, with some lace trimmings, light and delicate, a little rim of bows around the cuff.
But there’s where the similarity to a boot ended.

“What on Equestria is that?” Twilight Sparkle asked looking at the still glowing object, Rarity’s magical energy suddenly stopping as the glove gloated to the floor.
“I have no idea at all Twilight dear, I was making these divine boots and was distracted for a moment, “ Rarity replied.

“Ah-ha I see why you asked me to come at the night now, “ Said Twilight picking up a glove and trying it on her hoof, the fit was perfect, snug around her hoof keeping it warm and dry, but there were these dangly bits.

“Oh Twilight, this is just terrible, it’s like some mental block watch, “ Rarity said looking to a new piece of yellow fabric.
“Now watch, “ Rarity instructed. She magically picked up the fabric as it started to fold itself, the material unpicking and restitching itself perfectly in place.
“So it goes fine up until here, nice normal boot, “ Rarity explained, Twilight looking on with intrigue.
There was a sudden flare of magical energy from Rarity as the boot grew five dangling appendages.

Rarity stomped the floor in frustration!

“Why is this happening to me of all ponies Twilight, what terrible fate has befallen me?!” Rarity whined.
Twilight trotted across, carefully lifting the glove up in her other hoof, this was rather pretty in a way, there was a soft swirling pattern of stitching across it and down each of the dangling things.
“Maybe it’s for wings?” Twilight asked looking at it, “Keep little fillies wings straight and warm?”

Rarity rolled her eyes at the very suggestion, grinning a little at the thought of a filly Fluttershy or even more humiliating, Rainbow Dash, wearing these soft delicate designs.
“I don’t think so sweetie, “ Rarity said.
“Well I’m not even sure they are from Equestria, “ Twilight said looking more closely at the glove.
She was suddenly aware of a slightly cool draft.
Rarity shivered feeling it as well, “Sweetie Belle dear, do you have a window open there?”

Instead of Sweetie Belle, Princess Celestia came down stairs.

“Princess Celestia?!” Twilight trotted across to the princess as Rarity bowed.
“Ahh, my little ponies, should you not be asleep?” Princess Celestia asked, her vision drawn suddenly to the large pile of gloves.

Twilight shook her head, “Rarity was having some issues with her magic and I came to help.”
Princess Celestia smiled and nuzzled back against Twilight, “That’s very good of you, now I do have some bad news.”
Twilight took a step back listening attentively.
“I’m afraid Rarity, you and Twilight do have to go to bed, everything will be fine in the morning.” Princess Celestia announced simply.

Twilight looked to Rarity, but broke into a small smile, “Okay, come on Rarity, let’s get some shut eye.”
Rarity nodded, slightly disturbed by how easy her problem was going to be solved.
“Good night my little ponies, everything will be fine by morning, “ Said Princess Celestia watching as Twilight and Rarity both headed up to bed.

Waiting a few moments, Princess Celestia glared at the large pile of gloves, wrinkling her nose slightly concentrating as they all vanished into nothingness.

Something "Borrowed" - Feefers

Author: Feefers

Prompt: Pinkie Pie goes shopping for party supplies.

Title: Something “Borrowed”

Pinkie Pie looked up in wonder at Princess Celestia.
“I can handle this your Majesty!” She saluted with one hoof.
Princess Celestia nodded, her head drooping softly, her eyelids half flitting.
“Thank you my little pony, make sure you get everything on the list, “ Said Princess Celestia looking to the scroll Pinkie now held.
“You can count on me!” Pinkie Pie saluted again with the other hoof, floating for a second before falling forwards slightly.
“Woaaah! “ She almost fell into Princess Celestia, but she had serenely slipped aside.
“Sorry princess, I will get on to this now!” Pinkie Pie picked herself up off the ground starting to trot away.
Princess Celestia watched as the small pink pony vanished from the side street into town.
She had a knot of discomfort as she whimpered softly, smashing her hoof into the sidewalk.

“Hello!” Pinkie Pie said, a bright happy beam on her face.
The giraffe looked back at her blankly.
“I see you are new here! What’s your name?” Pinkie Pie asked shuffling closer to the giraffe.
“Drifter.” The giraffe replied looking to the small pink pony shuffling closer still.
“Oooooh because you travel from place to place selling things, like driftwood on a river?” Pinkie Pie asked, smiling as she already knew.
Drifter blinked slightly taking a second look at the pony before nodding, “That is pretty accurate actually.”
“Oooh so I’m planning a party and have you maybe whilst been drifting found anything awesomes I could have Mister Drifter?” She asked sweetly.
The giraffe was quite puzzled but dug around his wares pulling out a small silver plate.
“This I found in a far off land, the natives cut fruit and left it on the plate waiting for them to dry before eating them.” Drifter placed the plate down.
“Ooooooh!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed examining the plate carefully, “That’s pretty fancy! Buuuuuut not quite what I was after.”
“Uh … what are you after?” Drifter asked taking the plate back.
“I need, uh... what’s this?” Pinkie Pie handed Drifter the list from Princess Celestia.
“Plastic fork?” Drifter looked at the first item on the list.
Pinkie Pie nodded.
“Well I can’t sell you that, it’s contraband here;” Drifter muttered, “So you can have my plastic fork.”
He looked to the next item sighing heavily, “Contraband, banned, contraband, illegal and oh hey... worthless.”
He gathered up the items into a large burlap sack for Pinkie Pie.
“That’ll be … nothing at all, please just go.” He frowned.
“Nuh uh! Not until I get a smile from you!” Pinkie Pie said beaming widely.
“Oh you are kidding, please?” Drifter looked to the Pinkie Pony her face breaking into an even wider smile.
He rolled his eyes and forced a false smile onto it, ponies were so easy to trick, so few of them actually knew how to lie.
“Thanks mister!” Pinkie Pie said trotting off with her bag.

Pinkie Pie slinked back into the alleyway, unseen by the passing throng of ponies appearing back at Princess Celestia.
“You managed to get it all?” Princess Celestia stood up shaking herself slightly stretching her wings.
“It’s all in the bag Princess!” Pinkie Pie said.
“Thank you my dear.” Princess Celestia said, flying off and taking the bag with her.

Luna's Birthday - benxlabs

Author: benxlabs

Prompt: Celestia and cake.

Title: Luna's Birthday

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!1111!!!!" Luna was simply ecstatic. Her birthday was tomorrow. And birthdays meant lots and lots of presents, and a day of being the boss. She could tell Cellie to do whatever she wanted. She wouldn't refuse. It would be her birthday! Luna cackled maniacally as she envisioned all the embarrassing things that she could force her sister to do. Celestia, meanwhile, was not so amused.

"Ugh! Where did I put that moonshine again?" Celestia groaned. Tomorrow was her sister's birthday, and she hadn't even began to prepare yet! Naturally, the cake was the most important thing. She reviewed the ingredients list. Dark chocolate? Check. Marshmallows? Check. Frosting? Check. Moonshine? Ugh! If only she could remember where she'd put it!

"Go scrub the toilets, Cellie!" Luna was rehearsing her grand speech for her sister. This would be so much fun! She reviewed her list of things for Celestia to do. One: Dress up in a clown costume and give a royal proclamation. Two: Clean all the royal toilets. Luna paused. "You know, it would be so much more fun if I I...dirtied the toilets before hand, wouldn't it?" And so she set out to do her "chores".

"Buck. I suppose I'll have to go buy some more." Celestia finally remembered where the moonshine had went. Rather regrettably, it was in her tummy. She recalled that fateful night involving Twilight and some...moonshine. She blushed. That night had sure been fun. On that happy note, she set out to the Royal Canterlot Brewery.

"This is going to be SO. BUCKING. AWESOME." Luna was jumping up and down, giddy with joy. Having finished her little "chores", she had proceeded to continue reading off the list items. Three: Make Cellie play Truth or Dare with Cadence. Knowing her, things could get quite saucy, quite fast. Four... hmm...she hadn't thought of four things yet. There weren't many things that were embarrassing. How unfortunate. She would have to limit herself, or risk a royal spanking the next day. That would not be pleasant.

"Thank you for your business, ma'am." The cashier waved goodbye to the Princess as she left the brewery. Now fully stocked with moonshine, she returned back to her private quarters. Now for the cake. While doing some incognito work in Ponyville, she had taken some baking lessons from Pinkie Pie. They would sure come in handy right now! Alright. First step, unpack Pre-Baked cake.

What? You thought Celestia would have to bake her own cake? No way! That's dangerously close to actual work!

Next Step: Generously lather cake with frosting. Step 3: Place marshmallows on cake. Step 4: Place in oven. Soon, she had herself a delicious looking cake. It was very delicious looking. Very, very, delicious looking. Truly worthy of a Royal Birthday. But a little taste wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a tiny, Princess-like taste? Just a tiny nibble? She felt her mouth beginning to water, as the scent from the cake beckoned her closer.

"Good night, sister." Luna yawned. Today would be the best day of her life. She looked forward to that. It was just too bad she failed to notice the crumbs on Celestia's chest and the frosting in her mane.

Over the river and through the woods - Raryn

Author: Raryn

Prompt: You wake up with a map on your arm.

Title: Over the river and through the woods

“Oh my head...” I said, waking up as the sun came glaring through a hole in the window curtains. As I reached up to move the curtain, I felt a small pain on my foreleg and as the light shown upon it it showed that I had a new tattoo. “What the hell did I do last night!?”

As I took a closer look at my new tattoo, my vision began to swim and my stomach began to roil. I stumbled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom and promptly vomited up the contents of last night's escapades onto the floor, which apparently was a key. “What the hell!” I exclaimed and looked up at the bathroom mirror to make sure nothing else had happened. I saw myself in the mirror, a normal tan colored earth pony with a long straight mane of dark brown hair that lightened to a brownish red at the ends. “Well, at least it seems that this tattoo is all the is new...huh, what's this?”

At the edge of the mirror was a note: “That key is everything. Follow the map.” I looked at the note, then to the key, then finally to the tattooed map on my leg. “What the hell does that mean?” I picked up the key and cleaned it off. After that I took a closer look at the map. It was a simple thing: it showed a park, followed by a pond, a stream, a forest, and finally a shack. Suddenly a loud crash came from below, followed by voices.

“Find him! Find the key!”

In a panic, I dove out the bathroom window. As I fell down to the ground, I remembered that the bathroom was on the second floor. I landed with a thud and pulled myself shakily to my legs. More shouts came from inside my house as I sped off towards the nearby park. Once there, I turned and saw a large group of ponies running after me. I turned and ran towards the park's lake and from there followed the stream that led into the forest.

“What the hell is going on!” I shouted as I ran through the trees and crashed into the door of a shack and fell onto my back. “Ow...”

The door opened to reveal Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle chained together. “Oh you're finally here,” Pinkie said. “See Twilight, I told you he'd be back.”

“Heh, guess I owe you that drink now,” Twilight replied. “You there, hurry and unchain us. Before they get here.” I quickly unlocked the chains binding them. “Thanks,” Twilight said. “But I'm afraid I'll have to erase your memory, again. What's going on is something that can't get out to everypony, sorry.” I began to protest as her horn glowed brighter and brighter, then everything went black.

“Oh my head...” I said, waking up as the sun came glaring through a hole in the window curtains. As I reached up to move the curtain, I felt a small pain on my foreleg and as the light shown upon it it showed that I had a new tattoo. “What the hell did I do last night!?”