An indescribable feeling clenched her throat and crushed the air from her lungs. It was a sensation she had never felt before and it had happened every day since she had officially redeemed herself (in her eyes at least) against the fiendish Sirens that tried to brainwash her school.

Her part alongside Twilight Sparkle and her new-found friends in their victory over the enemy ought to have filled Sunset Shimmer with a sense of happiness or, at the very least, a degree of closure that would lay to rest the sins she had carried along with her since her own failed coup.

Was this feeling guilt, still lingering from back then?

No… no, it wasn’t… she was certain of that.

This was different.

It felt sinister in its confusion.

Her breathing would quicken and her palms would grow sweaty as her body pulsed with adrenaline from a fight or flight reaction she could not comprehend, her mind niggling at her nerves and latching onto an irrational fear of…

Or was it excitement?

Sunset Shimmer flushed the toilet and turned around to approach the sink, turning on the hot water and allowing it to run for a few seconds while it heated up to its cleansing temperature.

What was there to run from?

What was there to fight?

She always felt this way whenever she was with her friends, or writing to Twilight Sparkle, who had long since returned to Equestria.

Her weary eyes lifted to the mirror. She stared at her own reflection silently for a few moments before grabbing the bar of soap and proceeding to wash her hands very thoroughly, her thoughts focusing upon the lavender mare specifically.

They had so much in common from an intellectual and conversational perspective. If nothing else, Twilight Sparkle was the only one in this world with whom she could properly discuss the intricacies of magic.

After all, how many pony-turned-humans did she know in this world?

She stifled a smirk at her own reflection, finding that thought just amusing enough to cheer her dour mood, if only very slightly.

Finished with washing her hands, Sunset turned from the basin and ripped the towel hanging from the nearby rack. She dried her hands just as attentively as she had washed them, her eyes narrowed upon the act as if it demanded her full and undivided attention.

It was a poor attempt to curb her mind’s fixation on the stirring inside of her stomach.

She felt sick.

Departing the bathroom after depositing the towel upon the ground, Sunset Shimmer entered her pitch-black bedroom and quickly walked towards her desk. Her school books were piled neatly upon it next to a desk lamp which she clicked on, illuminating the surface and the tome that she used to converse with Twilight Sparkle.

Her eyes shone with happiness as she opened up to the very first page, her lips curling into a genuine smile as she pulled the small stool from under the desk and sat, her chin rested in an upturned palm as her elbow dropped onto the desk with a thud, keeping her weary frame from falling forward.

She turned to the next page, her eyes skimmed across the entries without fully reading the contents.

Despite not knowing the reason behind what she felt, Sunset Shimmer knew of the source. That much she had easily deduced.

When she came to a blank page, Sunset Shimmer reached down under the desk to open up a drawer and pull out a worn-down pencil riddled with bite marks. Placing the tip between her teeth, she nibbled at it viciously, her body swaying side to side as she lamented over what to write.

She hadn’t corresponded with the Princess for days now.

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

She frowned a little at the first line as she penciled it onto the page, her mind blanking instantly as she thought about what else to say…

“How do I explain this feeling?” Sunset whispered to herself, her eyes lifting up towards the ceiling, as if the answer she sought would be found there.

“Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle...” She swallowed hard, tears building up in the corners of her eyes. The more she thought about how to explain what ailed her, the worse it got. “I… don’t know what’s wrong…”

Sunset Shimmer’s eyes widened as she dropped the pencil, her hands trembling uncontrollably as her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

“Deep inside, I am hurting like I have never felt before and it is whenever I think of you… I miss you. I know I have done terrible things and I know I am forgiven but, selfishly, I feel… lost, without you here… and I think, maybe, your friendship is not enough… no... clearly, it is not and will never be enough...”

Sunset Shimmer licked her lips, her body sagging forward to lean heavily against her palm as she clenched her eyelids shut.

“I-it’s as I said… I am lost to these confusing feelings I have whenever I think about your face or speak your name and I think the others are beginning to suspect something is up… I can’t help but react... physically, whenever they talk about you… I try to steer the conversation away from you as much as I can and… well...”

Opening her eyes, Sunset Shimmer dropped the pencil and sat up straight upon the stool She ran her hands up over her face and then eventually over her head and through her hair, sighing aloud as tears trembled down her cheeks.

“This is loneliness… that is what this feeling is… and I all want to do is to get rid of it; all I can think about is you and that is when it is at its worst.” Sunset Shimmer’s voice broke as she released a sob. “By Celestia I know what is wrong with me but I’m almost too afraid to say it… it's so obvious I’m almost ashamed that I didn’t notice it sooner. This empty space, in my arms... I want you to fill it with your warmth.”

Picking up the pencil, Sunset Shimmer sucked in a deep breath.

“This has to stop… it all has to end and there is only one way… I have to admit it. I need to tell you… there’s something inside of me that needs to get out… my feelings are… I need you… Twilight, I’m… I...”

Sunset Shimmer wrote within the tome, her heartfelt tears dotting the entry as she gnawed upon her lower lip.

Twilight Sparkle,

I need you.

Sunset Shimmer.

It was only now that Sunset Shimmer truly felt afraid.

“I...” She drew her hands up towards her face, pressing them hard against her closed eyelids. “I n-never knew this could be so terrifying… and yet so… and yet so… why can’t I say it? Why can't I just say it even to myself?"

Fear won over in the end. She quickly shook her head. “No. I can’t do this. We're friends. I don't want to ruin that.”

Quickly diving her hand into the drawer to withdraw an eraser, Sunset Shimmer moved to wipe away her heartfelt entry before-

She stood abruptly, sending her stool to tumble over.

With the erase clenched tightly within a fist, her wide eyes stared down at the words that had magically appeared below the entry she had wanted to disappear.

What is the matter?! Don’t bother replying to this message because I am on my way!

I’ll see you soon.

Your friend forever, Twilight Sparkle.

And now Sunset Shimmer, too, wanted to disappear.

Author's Note

I haven't done romance in a long time, so, I apologize... it's a little cheesy, no? It's a short story inspired by a particular song that will be the centralized theme behind this whole idea.

I honestly don't know where I'm going to go with it, but I hope you enjoy this regardless. The shortness of each chapter is due to my own terrible time constraints, so I apologize about that.

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