Braveheart: The Untold Stories Episode 22: Adagio Dazzle's Pizza

Rainbow Dash had left my house and hour ago, leaving me alone with the fire. It started to die out, so I flicked on a light and doused the flame with a water spell. I was still depressed at the loss of Sunset though. It might take a while before I get over it. I had just reached the top of the stairs to use the shitter when I heard a knock on the door.

“Oh, for Celestia’s sake,” I grumbled. I turned around and walked back down the stairs. I opened the door, and was met with Pinkie Pie’s always happy face.

“Hi, Braveheart!” she squeaked.

“Hey, Pinkie Pie,” I said, smiling. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great!” Pinkie squealed. “I just had a party with some friends, and before that I got ready for the party, and before that I planned the party, and before that I…”

“Whoa, Pinkie,” I slowed. “Chill out for a second. I’ll be right back.” About to shit myself, I ran upstairs, leaving Pinkie Pie confused and bewildered. I finished my business and came back down the stairs.

“Feel better?” Pinkie asked, smirking.

“Yeah,” I said. “Anyway, what brings you here?”

“Oh, right,” Pinkie said. Her mane and tail suddenly deflated. “I heard about what happened with Sunset Shimmer. I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s OK,” I said. “There wasn’t really much I could do.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie nodded. “But, I was wondering if you would be able to come with me to a pizza restaurant. I feel bad for you, and I wanted to cheer you up.”

“I’d love to, Pinkie,” I said. Pinkie perked up as did her mane and tail.

“Really?” she cried.

“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t have anything else to do.”

“Oh goodie, goodie, goodie!” Pinkie said, hopping up and down. “Let’s go right now!” I followed Pinkie out the door and through Canterlot. She blabbed on and on and on about this pizzeria, and how it was the best in Canterlot. She said that there were performing animatronic characters that actually interacted with the customers. We walked for a bit longer, before Pinkie came to an abrupt halt.

“We’re here!” she cried. I looked up at the sign, and my heart almost stopped. The sign of the restaurant read, “Adagio Dazzle’s Pizza: Welcome to the Show.” I suddenly regretted this decision. But Pinkie dragged me inside. Once I was through the doors, the smell of pizza met my nose. Pizza and something rank.

“Oh, geez,” I groaned. “What’s that smell?” Pinkie forcefully put a hoof to my mouth.

“Don’t say that!” she shushed. “Please.”

“Why?” I whispered.

“Because,” Pinkie pleaded. “This pizzaria’s had a bit of an issue with a smell, but I don’t want it to get shut down. I love this place.” I sighed.

“All right,” I agreed.

“Great!” Pinkie chirped. “Come on. I’ll show you to the stage, where the characters are.” Pinkie dragged me along the linoleum tile, eager to show me around. She quickly stopped when she reached the front of the stage. I looked up and saw two familiar faces. An animatronic pony version of Adagio Dazzle and Sonata Dusk stood onstage, singing one of their infamous songs. The Adagio animatronic had on a top hat and a microphone in one hoof. Sonata wore a white bib reading, “Let’s Eat!” and held a taco with eyes in a hoof. I shuddered at the taco.

“That thing’s creepy,” I muttered. Both animatronics looked a bit old, but they still seemed to work. Pinkie suddenly came running back from the hallway behind the dining area.

“I just asked the manager if I could show you the other character,” Pinkie informed. “And he said yes!” She pulled me over to a purple curtain with stars on it. A small wooden sign in front of the curtain read “Out of Order”.

“Uh, Pinkie?” I said. “Are you sure this is OK with the manager?”

“He just said it himself,” Pinkie replied. “It’s OK to take a quick peek.”

“OK,” I shrugged. Pinkie carefully moved away the curtain, and a rather horrific sight met my gaze. An animatronic pony version of Aria Blaze stood behind the curtain. She was wearing an eyepatch on her right eye, and had a hook replacing her left hoof. She wore a pirate hat on her head, and her fake pigtails hung loose from her head. Aria was more torn up than the other two, revealing the animatronic endoskeleton underneath. Her right hoof, chest, back hooves, and left ear were torn. I examined the endoskeleton that I could see. It seemed to be very simple compared to my Terminator hoof. I lifted up the eyepatch, and saw that there was no suit eye underneath. Only the eye of the endoskeleton. I lowered the eyepatch and moved away as Pinkie closed the curtain.

“Damn, Pinkie,” I shuddered. “Aria looks in terrible shape.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie sighed. “She was always my favorite. She would always tell us to be careful while playing, or we’d have to walk the plank.” I gave a small chuckle. Pinkie gave another sigh.

“But since I’ve gotten older, Adagio and Sonata have been giving me dirty looks when the fillies aren’t looking,” Pinkie explained.

“Really?” I asked, glancing at Adagio.

“Yeah,” Pinkie replied. “I guess they don’t like adult ponies.” I took another look at Adagio and Sonata as they finished their song. The fillies had left the room for a moment. Adagio looked at me and scowled. I winced slightly. I wasn’t comfortable around animatronics anyway, but the fact that this one resembled a former enemy made it that much worse. I turned away as a security guard brought us a pizza.

“Thanks,” I said.

“No problem,” the guard said. “I think I’ve heard about you, Braveheart, was it?”

“That’s right,” I nodded, taking a bite of a pizza slice.

“It’s nice to meet you, Braveheart,” the guard said, shaking my hoof.

“Likewise,” I said after swallowing. The guard handed me a piece of paper. It was a newspaper advertisement for a job as a night guard at the pizzeria.

“If you’re interested,” the guard said. “The position just became…available.”

“I’ll think about it,” I nodded.

“Call me at the number below when you have an answer,” the guard informed. “I should inform you that, due to low budget, we only pay minimum wage.”

“That’s good to know,” I said. “Thank you.” The guard tipped his hat and ran over to a couple of fillies who were fighting. Pinkie Pie had wolfed down half of the pizza.

“You gonna finish that?” she asked, mouth full.

“Yes,” I quickly said. “And another slice.” I took a piece of pizza and Pinkie finished it off. I rolled my eyes and ate in silence, listening to the two animatronic Dazzlings sing their songs. As I turned to leave with Pinkie, I didn’t see Aria poke her head out of the curtain, her visible eye black with a small white pinprick of a pupil, and her pointed teeth barred.

When I reached home, I took out the flyer for the security job. I grabbed my phone and dialed the number at the bottom of the page.

“Hello, Adagio Dazzle’s Pizza,” the security guard’s voice said.

“Hi,” I said. “This is Braveheart.”

“Oh, great!” the guard cried. “What can I do for you?” I gave my answer.

“Is that position for night guard still open?”