"Sunset, the school's on fire!"
Canterlot High School was burning, and it was all Sunset Shimmer’s fault. Yet, as she and the other students looked on at the raging inferno, she couldn’t help but feel a tinge of pride.
“Sunset, you burned down the entire school!” An irate Rainbow Dash shouted, but she didn’t care. She had done what nobody thought she could, gone beyond her own limits and stretched the boundaries of what was truly possible.
And it all started with one little contest...
The cafeteria had been especially packed that day. After all, when a school offers free pizza, you could bet your life savings that every single kid would show up. Sunset and her friends had somehow managed to snag their favorite spot before some other students could, and they were in the middle of a heated debate.
“You’re dead wrong, Applejack, I’m our best singer!”
“C’mon, Rainbow, stop kidding yourself. Sunset could sing circles around ya,” Applejack replied with a smirk. Sunset herself seemed content with staying out of this one, but it was slowly becoming harder to do so. With Rainbow’s reply however, it became impossible.
“Fine, I challenge Sunset to a sing-off!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed with a grin, causing Applejack and Rarity to facepalm.
“Oh, this is going to be splendid...”
“Alright, so the rules are simple. You two have three days to record four songs each, and the winner will be the sole lead singer for every song on our next album. Is this agreed upon?”
“Heck yeah!”
“Sure, I guess,” Sunset shrugged. It wasn’t like it mattered, she didn’t like singing anyways. If anything, she was only doing this to stroke Rainbow Dash’s ego. “Just don’t be mad when you lose, Rainbow.”
‘What. Did I seriously just say that?’
“Trash talking, huh? Well prepare to eat those words, Sunset!”
Before she could say anything else, Rainbow Dash was already gone. Only she and Rarity remained in the band room, and the fashionista looked stunned. “What happened to not caring who won, Sunset?”
“I don’t even know why I said that, to be honest…”
“Well now you’ve gone and riled her up even more. I hope, for your sake, that you do beat her,” Rarity chuckled.
‘Alright, now I’m in deep crap. Not only did I accept a challenge from Rainbow Dash, but I trash talked her! What the hell was I thinking!’
Sunset sighed, rolling out of bed and walking to her desk. Thank god it was Saturday. She wouldn’t have to see her for two whole days, and by then the contest would be over. There was only one problem, though.
“I don’t even know what to write!” Her frustration was evident. “I never should have accepted that dumb bet…”
That’s when it hit her. ‘That’s it, I’ll make my songs intentionally bad, then they’ll think I wasn’t taking it seriously! … Which I’m not, but whatever. Alright, brain, show me what you’ve got!’
First, she’d need a title. Something that nobody would ever expect her to come up with…
“I’ve got it!”
As she set about writing the title down on a disc, The Bacon Bitch Chronicles, she began to think of prospective song names. They’d have to be even more vulgar than the title, obviously, so she was having a bit of trouble.
“Oh, I know, I’ll cover a song!”
For the next few hours, Sunset wrote, recorded, and burned her four songs to the disc. As far as she was concerned, the fact that she had done it all in about five hours was just icing on the cake. Now she’d have the entire weekend to do whatever she wanted.
“Time to get naked and watch Nickelodeon!”
“Alright, now that we’ve heard Rainbow Dash’s mix tape, it’s time to hear Sunset’s.”
‘Oh boy, here we go…’ Sunset chuckled inwardly as she handed Rarity her disc. “I think you guys will be impressed.”
Rarity stood stock still, staring at the disc in her hands. To Sunset, this was simply perfect. Everyone else’s reaction just added to her giddiness. “Sunset has titled her mix tape… ‘The Bacon Bitch Chronicles’.” She had said it in little more than a hush, but everyone had heard.
“What in tarnation? Sunset, did you hit your head or something?”
“I sure did. Hit it with great ideas.”
“Alright,” Rarity rolled her eyes, placing the disc into her laptop. “The first song is titled… ‘Too Drunk to Fuck’!?”
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash fell down laughing at the name while the other three girls looked disgusted with their bacon-haired friend. “What?” She asked defensively. “It’s a cover.”
“Well… let’s hope it’s a good one,” Rarity sighed, seemingly done with this entire contest. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was smirking at Sunset.
“I can’t wait to see your face when you lose!”
Sunset simply shrugged, because honestly, she could not have cared less. For the next ten minutes, her songs were played for all of her friends to hear. Surprisingly, they had actually turned out quite nice. Whether they would beat out Rainbow Dash’s songs rested on the final track though. As Rarity prepared to play it, the group began debating.
“I dunno, girls, I really liked ‘Leather Jacket Whore’!” Pinkie shouted, to which Applejack shook her head.
“Nah, Rainbow Dash has got this one all wrapped up. Sunset obviously didn’t take this contest too serious, not that I blame her.”
“Well, if the name of her last song is any indication, we’re in for quite a treat,” Rarity sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. It was quickly becoming a theme for her whenever she hung around these two bozos. “It’s called ‘I Fucked Rainbow Dash and She Liked It’.”
In an instant, Fluttershy passed out. That turned out to be bad, because as soon as Rarity hit play, her laptop caught on fire. The tune somehow kept playing, though, and she could do little to put out the fire as it began spreading to other areas of the room. Even after hitting her laptop with a nearby chair, it continued to play the song.
“AHHHH, IT’S A MAGIC LAPTOP OF DEATH! EVERYBODY RUN!” Pinkie Pie screamed, running from the room. Her friends were quick to follow behind her, and Sunset made sure to pull the fire alarm on her way out the front door.
That’s what led to this moment. As the school burned in front of her, and Rainbow Dash screamed at her, she smirked. “Looks like I won, Rainbow Dash.”
“WHAT!? YOU BURNED DOWN THE SCHOOL, YOU IDIOT!”
“Because my mix tape was fire fam.”
Author's Note
This is easily the dumbest thing I've ever written. I'm sorry.
Dropping It Like It's Hot!
Author's Note
This bonus chapter was written by Listener.
Thanks to Missy Angel for this awesome fan art!
Dropping It Like It's Hot!
Rainbow stared at Sunset, smirking at the tired and slightly irked off expression her her friend.
“Dash, why are you at my house at seven in the morning. You do realize there’s no school since it burned down.” She said, yawning.
Dash grinned wildly as the wind picked up, Dash’s hair blowing out behind her as she reached into her back pocket, pulling out a cassette tape slowly. She quickly pulled it in front of her and brandished like a card, two fingers holding it up.
“I’m here to win that contest!” Dash yelled, smirking.
Sunset winced. “Dash, I already won.” She said, starting to close the door.
Dash stuck her foot in. “Come on! This will totally beat your mixtape!” She argued.
The bacon hair mistress of the beats shrugged. “My mixtape is fire fam.” She said, before sighing. “Okay, I’ll listen. Then you’ll get out of my house, and I’ll go back to bed.”
Dash smirked at that. “Maybe you will. Maybe this mixtape will be even more fire than your fire fam.”
“That doesn’t even make sense, Dash.”
Dash shrugged, coming inside as the wind finally dying down as Sunset closed the door.
“There might be a problem Dash, I don’t actually know if I have a cassette player.” She said, shrugging.
Dash pointed to her living room, where a large stereo existed. “I know you have one in the back of that beast.” She said, going over to it and looking it over.
“Well, I’ve never used it. Maybe because cassette players were outdated before I got here.” She said, laughing softly.
“Hey! If you want the authentic mixtape experience, you must have a cassette!” She said, throwing the cassette to Sunset as she continued searching.
“Dash, whenever your medium of music is two generations removed, maybe your sense of music is outdated too.” Sunset said, grinning at her multi colored haired friend.
“Ohhhhhh, BURN!”
Dash and Sunset both looked at the window, where the sound of a random voice had come in through, before Sunset grinned and shrugged. “Looks like somebody appreciates my sick ass burn.”
Dash rolled her eyes. “Whatever!” She said as Sunset looked at the mixtape. Written across the front in Dash’s messy handwriting read “Rainblow's Sexy Mattress Surprise Party.”.
“At least your name is up to par.” She said, throwing it back at Dash, who caught it and pushed it into the slot, where it clicked into place. Dash shut it and grinned.
“I think you’d better get ready for some serious debauchery!” She said as she hit play.
There was some crackling before the music started and some seriously sick riffs started to blare through Sunset’s stereo system.
Sunset listened for a moment before her eyes widened. “Rainbow, this is my song!” She said as ‘I Fucked Rainbow Dash and She Liked It’ reached it’s main chorus and Sunset’s stereo burst into flames.
Dash grinned maniacally as the flames grew higher behind her, the flames licking the ceiling as she laughed.
“Rainbow Dash, are you insane!?” Sunset asked, looking at Dash like she was indeed, insane.
Which she was.
“Dash, this is my house!” She yelled, before tackling her to the floor and looking down at her friend’s face.
Dash grinned as she chuckled. “I never lose, Sunset!” She said as the rest of the room caught on fire, the heat rising as the flames danced around to the sick beats still playing from the melting speakers.
“Dash, I won that contest! You’re using my own mixtape to beat me!” Sunset yelled back as she looked around, getting up and running to the stereo. Enduring the heat she ejected the cassette and held it up, the melting plastic burning her fingers slightly.
As the song reached its crescendo, Sunset looked down at Rainbow, who struggled to get up as the house groaned and creaked around them, the flames crackling loudly as sirens were heard in the background.
With the flames to her back, Sunset grinned as she held the burning cassette up between her fingers, laughing to herself. “Dash, you didn’t think this through!”
Rainbow looked up, confused as she looked at the Bacon Beat Master.
“You can’t beat me with my own mixtape!” Sunset Shimmer yelled. “Because I AM FIRE, FAM!”
Dash looked up, wide eyed as she finally realized her mistake. Sunset grinned one final time and then threw the flaming mixtape at her friend.
Dash looked down at the burn that the mixtape had left, the burn slowly spreading as she began to turn to cinders. Speechless, she looked at Sunset with wide eyes. Soon all that was left was a pile of cinders.
Shortly after, all that lived there was fire.
Later, Sunset was asked what happened.
“I fought fire with fire, fam.”
