Pinkie Pie's Piggy Bank Rampage

by OceanCop

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1323

Pinkie Pie tries to feed her beloved piggy bank.

Miss Piggy, Pinkie Pie's piggy bank, is terribly hungry and it is up to Pinkie Pie to make sure she is well-fed. All it takes is a lot of pies.

One-shot.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-03 11:14:02 UTC

Pinkie's Piggy

     Once upon a time, there was a mare named Pinkie Pie. She lived with her five best friends in a town named Ponyville. This is her story.

     “Pinkie, aren’t you a little too old to have that?” Twilight Sparkle asked her, one morning.

Pinkie Pie playfully rolled her eyes and replied, “No one’s too old to have a piggy bank, silly! It keeps tracks of your bits. That’s really handy dandy!”

Twilight frowned and shrugged her shoulders, dismissively. Pinkie is always this weird. It's natural, she thought.

“So Pinkie, how many bits do you have in this-,” she hesitated, slightly,”- ‘piggy bank’.”

“Well, I…,” Pinkie Pie paused, thinking. “I…um…”

More hesitation.

Finally, she admitted that she didn’t know.

“Maybe you could-” Twilight was cut off by Pinkie Pie’s loud idea.

“Oh, I know! I could go check, right now! Then, I’ll come back here and tell you about it!”

Before the unicorn could reply, Pinkie sprung out of the library, causing the door to break under her sheer awesomeness.

Pinkie Pie arrived inside her pink room, bursting with energy. She spotted her pink piggy bank sitting quietly on her dresser.

“Hi, miss piggy! Are you going to let me see your bits?”

No response.

“Ok, then!”

Pinkie Pie shoved her hooves around the pig and started to shake it.

Shing. Clang. Shling.

The noise of one coin being hurled around the inside of the piggy bank filled the air.

“OH NO!” Pinkie yelled, almost dropping the pink pig. The pink mare sprang out of the room, the swine in her hooves.

“So, Pinkie… How much bits are in your ‘piggy bank’,” Twilight asked, behind her giant book.

“I…I…,” Pinkie panted. “MISS PIGGY HAS GONE HUNGRY!”

Twilight winced at the sheer loudness of her sudden answer. The unicorn then sighed, shaking her head.

  “You owe me a new door,” Twilight muttered, half to herself and half to Pinkie.

“TWILIGHT! THIS IS NO TIME FOR SILLY DOORS! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! MISS PIGGY IS STARVING!”

Twilight nodded slowly and replied, “you already said that.”

“CORRECTION: YELLED THAT,” Pinkie Pie shouted. “NOW, WE HAVE TO GET HER SOME FOOD! DO YOU HAVE ANY BITS?”

Before Twilight could answer, she continued. “HUH? HUH? DO YA? HUH?”

“You don’t have any bits, yourself?”

“THAT’S WHY I SAID THAT MISS PIGGY WAS HUNGRY! GEEZ, TWILIGHT, DON’T YOU LISTEN?”

“I-”

The unicorn’s reply was cut off by Pinkie’s murderous tone, “TELL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY BITS. NOW, MORTAL.”

Pinkie was now in Twilight’s face having to shove the book out of her way, a fiery glint in her light blue eyes.

“Wh-why don’t you-” Gulp. “-try to sell some pastries to ponies. That way, you can have some bits by selling some baked goods. I need my bits for important matters.”

The fatal light in Pinkie’s eyes faded away, like some distant memory.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

She bounced out of the library’s window, causing glass to fly everywhere.

“WHAT THE HECK, PINKIE!?!” Twilight’s scream could be heard for miles, but Pinkie couldn’t catch a word.

“Twilight’s so nice. She wasn’t even mad that I smashed her window.”

“Hmm… I wonder what Twilight said about baked goods…,” Pinkie said to herself, the pig under her right forearm.

Why can’t I remember?

“Oh, maybe she said to throw them at ponies! That’ll get me a lot of bits! Right, miss piggy?” She glanced at the pink hog, who said nothing.

She must be so excited, that she can’t talk, Pinkie decided.

But why would Twilight want me to throw pies at ponies? I don’t see the point of that. But Twilight is really smart. Maybe, it’ll turn out that I’ll have a ton of bits in the end! Twilight is such a genius.

1 hour later…

“Thanks for helping me bake all these apple pies, Applejack,” Pinkie said.

Applejack tipped her hat and replied, “Anythang for a friend, Pinkie. Also, ya don’t have ta give me any bits. The apples are on tha house.”

Pinkie Pie nodded excitedly and gazed at their batch.

“30 pies in all!” Pinkie exclaimed, excitedly. “Perfect for what I’m going to do!”

“Um, what are ya goin’ to be doin’?”

“Something that’s going to feed miss piggy!”

“Miss…who?”

“Miss piggy! She’s my piggy bank!”

“Erm…ok then. I better get going. It’s really late at night. Bye, Pinkie Pie.”

After A.J had left, Pinkie counted the hot, steaming pies, all perfect and ready to go.

“Awesome! This’ll be perfect for throwing!”

“Oh, Twilight…,” a voice purred, into the unicorn’s ear.

“Wh-what?” Twilight woke up and looked around.

Nothing, but darkness filled the room.

It must have been my imagination.

Twilight sighed, tired and just when she was about to go back to sleep, there was a splat and a brief cry of pain from the side of the bed.

“Spike!”

Before she had any time to investigate, there was a flash of something and a wiff of sugar in her nose. Then, there was momentary pain and sudden darkness.

“Hey, Fluttershy.”

“Huh?” the yellow colored mare squeaked.

She gazed around, trying to find the pony who had spoken. All she saw was her own bedroom, and a single night light.

I’m imagining things.

Just when she was about to lie down in her bed, she was hit by something hard.

Rarity awoke to the sound of somepony’s voice. She had sworn that she had heard something.

“Hello? Is there anypony there?” she called into her bedroom.

Zoom.

Splat.

Rarity landed on her bed, unmoving.

“Pinkie?” Applejack said, after she had heard her voice.

The pink-colored mare stepped out of the darkness, a slow grin on her face.

“Pinkie, what are ya doin’ in mah bedroom? And where are tha pies? Please say you didn’t give ‘em to somepony. I accidently put-”

Smack.

“Yo, Rainbow Dash!”

Dash looked down from her joy ride in the night. She couldn’t see anything.

“Anypony there?”

She lowered herself down to the ground, searching for a pony.

Something solid hit the back or her head and she fell down with a loud thud.

“Luna, check.”

“Vinyl Scratch, check.”

“Applebloom…”

Pinkie went over the list of ponies.

“Yup, that’s everypony! Now, I just have to wait for my bits to come to me! Are you ready to get your tummy full of yummy bits, Miss Piggy?” Pinkie Pie looked at the unmoving pink swine, who said nothing.

“Okay!”

For over a minute, the pink mare stayed in a perfect unmoving position in her pink room.

“Argh! This is so boring! I’m going to ask Twilight about this!” Pinkie Pie grabbed Miss Piggy, hurriedly, making a dash to the library.

“What in Equestria?”

Pinkie’s tone was croaky and shocked. Twilight and Spike were dead because of her pies.

“Dang Applejack! You put kitchen knives in the pie? Why didn’t you say anything?”

She looked around, terrified of her murderous mistake.

“Buck!” Pinkie cursed, trotting out of the room with Miss Piggy in her hooves.

“Miss Piggy? Let’s run out of here!” Pinkie Pie darted out of the library, her mane deflated.

“And I STILL don’t have any bits!”

Authors note: So basically what happened was that Pinkie Pie had a piggy bank and wanted to fill it up with bits. So, Twilight suggested that she sell pastries. Pinkie misheard it for ‘throw pastries’ and made several apple pies with Applejack. She threw all of them at a lot of ponies. After that, she waited for the bits to come to her. Then, she went to Twilight’s to get some help. There, she discovered that Twilight was dead, thanks to Applejack’s mistake of putting kitchen knives in the pie. THE END?

Did that make any sense to you? I hope so.

I made this in one day, so, it wouldn’t be a big surprise if it didn’t make any sense.