Chapter 1

The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and sky was blue. All was peaceful in Ponyville. Everypony was enjoying the beautiful weather. Well…. everypony except Rainbow Dash.

“Aaaaauuuuuugggghh. I am dead.” The blue mare moaned. “I am never drinking again.” A purple alicorn was standing next to the Dash’s bed, levitating a book.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I don’t think so Rainbow. Anyway, do you want a hay smoothie with a shot of espresso or a Bloody Mare, maybe?” she inquired

“It’s the perfect hangover cure!” she added

“I want it to go away!” Rainbow sobbed. Abruptly, she stopped, “You know…I could use a hay smoothie, actually.”

Twilight beamed. “I make the best hay smoothies ever! I found such a great recipe in the 6th edition of ‘101 Ways to A Toned Flank.’” Rainbow rolled over and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘egghead’.

Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “At least I don’t get drunk twice a week and have my best friend babysit me while I wallow in bed with a killer hangover. I’m responsible enough to stay far away from alcohol.”

Rainbow’s ears perked upon hearing this. Hangover forgotten, she flew over to Twilight and grabbed her. “You- you’ve never had alcohol?!!” she cried, shocked. Twilight pushed Rainbow off of her and glared.

“Yes. I’ve never even been in a bar!” she said proudly.

“YOU’VE NEVER BEEN IN A BAR??!!!” Rainbow yelled.

“Sheesh… What’s your problem?” Twilight muttered

“What’s my problem? What’s your problem! You have never had alcohol before and you’ve never been in a bar. You’ve never lived life!” Rainbow screeched. “You really need to get out more Twilight.” She added

“Woah… what’s the big deal?” Twilight asked, confused.

Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “Your tongue has never touched hard cider and you are asking me what the big deal is? The big deal, Twilight Sparkle, is that you-you….” Rainbow's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she passed out.

Twilight poured a bucket of cold water all over an unconscious blue mare. “AAH! Wha- huh?” Rainbow Dash spluttered. “What happened?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “You fainted.”

“What? Nonononono Rainbow Dash does not faint. A prissy Canterlot filly would faint. Rarity would faint. But a cool, awesome, soon-to-be Wonderbolt does NOT faint.” Rainbow said.

The purple alicorn could not suppress the face-hoof. “Well you did.”

Rainbow looked disappointed. “Damn it!”

Twilight shook her head. “I didn’t think me telling you that I have never had alcohol would get rid of your hangover.”

Quickly, Twilight scribbled something in her random, out-of-nowhere notepad. “Next time I’ll tell you I’m pregnant.”

Rainbow nodded. “Works like a charm.”

“Wait you’re pregnant?!!” she looked slightly panicked.

“No… I’m not.” Twilight groaned.

“Oh good, and, by the way, I’m taking you to a bar tonight.” Rainbow said sternly.

Twilight sighed. “I thought as much.”

That very night…..

The two mares stood in front of a bright club with flashing lights and a neon sign that said “Le Cheval”

“The best bar in Ponyville.” Rainbow said proudly.

“The only bar in Ponyville” Twilight stated flatly

Rainbow grabbed her hoof and dragged her to the door. They entered and Twilight winced at the loud music.

“Not bad for a club that’s called ‘the horse’, huh?” Rainbow shouted over the music. Twilight just sighed.

Rainbow frowned and punched her lightly in the arm. “As long as you’re here you might as well have a little fun Twi.”

“The things I do for my friends…” Twilight muttered.

Rainbow pulled Twilight onto a seat. “Since you have never had an alcoholic drink before-” she shuddered. “I’ll give you some suggestions. Do you want cider, beer, vodka, gin, wine, or whiskey?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “I suppose I’ll have…. Some wine?” Her response sounded more like a question than an answer.

Rainbow clapped her hooves together in glee. “Awesome!” she said, “Bartender!” After a few seconds, a purple earth pony mare trotted to them.

Rainbow gasped. “Berry Punch? What are you doing here? I mean that’s a bad question you’re always here, but what are you doing there?”

Berry grinned. “Smooth, as always Dash. I’m working here… duh”

“It’s so weird seeing you sober.” Rainbow said. Twilight elbowed her friend.

“Ow! What the hell Twi—I mean you’re looking great today Berry Punch! Hehe” Rainbow added quickly.

Berry winked at Rainbow suggestively. “Thanks Dash. Anyway, what are you two going to drink today?”

As Berry got their drinks, Twilight looked around. It was so dark and most everypony was drunk. DJ-Pon3 was handling the music and she and Berry Punch seemed the only two ponies sober other than her and Dash.

“The only way this is going to work is if you have at least 5 glasses of wine Twilight” Rainbow said. “The wine here is not that strong so you have to work extra hard to get tipsy.”

Twilight smirked. “Rainbow Dash, are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Pfft No…. Actually yes” Rainbow answered. “You’ve never had alcohol before and it’s up to me to make up for it”

“We’re both mature responsible adults who don’t fall in bed with the first pony they see after having too much cider.” Twilight said, trying (and failing) to keep a straight face.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t hold it in. “PFFT- HAHAHAHAHA! Mature- ha- adults- hahaha” she laughed. The pegasus wiped a tear. “Ha good one Twi”

Berry Punch appeared with the pair’s drinks in hoof. “Here you go ladies. Have fun!”

“Ahh finally. Sweet, sweet cider” Rainbow’s mouth was watering.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Go easy this time Dash, you don’t want another hangover and I don’t want to babysit you again.”

Of course Rainbow Dash did NOT go easy. And, sadly, neither did Twilight.

2 hours later….
“Ya know Dashie? I think you’re right- hic- alcohol is g-great- hic.” Twilight slurred.

Rainbow giggled. “Of course I was r-right. I’m awesome.”

Twilight laughed loudly. “You’re orange?” The two drunken mares burst out in a fit of laughter.

“I think you’re drunk Twilight.” Rainbow said

Twilight frowned. “I am a mature, responsible adult and mature and responsible adults don’t get drunk Dashie.”

Rainbow laughed again. “Silly filly… if I’m not a mature, responsible adult then neither are you.”

Twilight was getting dizzy. You know what? Rainbow Dash looks really hot right now. Her rainbow mane looks so pretty. She looks really sexy…. Wait no… what am I thinking? I don’t like Rainbow Dash. She’s my best friend, I’m not romantically interested in her. Eh what the hell? I’m drunk off my ass so nopony will blame me if I do something stupid.

Twilight did do something stupid, something incredibly stupid. She kissed Rainbow Dash full on the mouth. Since Rainbow Dash is about as stupid as Twilight is, she did something just as dumb. She kissed her back.

Author's Note

Hello everypony! I was feeling TwiDash-y so here you go!