Is It Even Worth It?

by sunbuttsparkle

Rating: teen
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Main 6, Dark, Sad, Suicide / Self Harm, Equestria Girls
Length: 1169

All the rumors, promises broken, all the nightmares. Living... is it even worth it?

(Gore tag for self-harm and dark thoughts.)
I know they fake it.
I know they talk about me when they think I can't hear them.
All the promises broken.
All the rumors.
All the nightmares keeping me up at night.
Living...
Is it even worth it?
[Set after Equestria Girls, but before Rainbow Rocks.]

Published 2015-11-11 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-09 02:30:25 UTC

Sitting here all Alone...

Twilight Sparkle's crown that I stole lands in my hands.

"Finally!" I take a look at the crown. "More power than I could ever imagine!"

And then all of a sudden, blue magic lifts me high into the air, and a burning sensation runs through my body, the pain is so unbearable that I start to cry. The tears dissolve before I can feel them run down my cheeks. I am temporarily blinded, and when my vision return, I look at myself. My skin is now red, and I look like a demon. I hear my peers screaming in terror at the sight of me. I look back at them, full of rage and anger.

"I had to jump through so many hoops to get this crown, and it should've been mine all along!" I ball my hand into a fist, and a magical orb appears. "I am your princess now!" I destroy the front of the school. "And you will be loyal!" I fly into the school, and I hypnotize all of the students.

I look over at Twilight and her 5 friends.

"You know, I was just bluffing when I said I was going to destroy the portal. I don't want to rule this pathetic little high school, I want to rule Equestria! And I have my own little personal army to help me get it!"

"No, you're not!" the former purple alicorn remarks.

"Oh, really?" I laugh a little. "What are you going to do to stop me? I have magic, and you have nothing!"

"She has us!" I look back, seeing the 5 girls standing together.

I laugh again, amused at the thought of them thinking they could beat me. "Gee, the gang's really all back together again!"

I form magic in between my hands.

"Step back, Twilight has interfered with my plans one too many times!" I then throw the ball of energy at her.

I woke up, not being able to breathe, tears streaming down my face. My pajamas and bed sheets are soaked from my sweat. I suddenly have the urge to vomit, and I run to the bathroom and puke, crying all the while.

Who am I exactly?

'I' is Sunset Shimmer, the former popular girl that turned into a demon and destroyed the front of the school., and was defeated by 5 girls and a magical pony princess from another world.

I decide to go take a shower. I don't even decide to check the time, I'm not ever going back to that school again. All those fake friends, and those peers who love to whisper things about me when I walk by them in the hallway.

I'm so sick of it. So sick of all the lies from people- or ponies that I trusted. I abandoned my studies, and left my mentor 2 years ago. I miss her sometimes, but she lied to me and broke promises. She told me I had potential, but yet she put more time and effort toward another unicorn. She promised me I would become a powerful and smart unicorn, but it never happened. She paid less and less attention to me. She stopped showing the motherly love toward me. I started seeing her less and less, so I decided to leave. I didn't bother writing a note, she wouldn't have read it anyway. I didn't even know who this unicorn was until a year ago. And that unicorn- well, now an alicorn, was the one who defeated me when I turned into a demon.

I'm so sick of all the rumors. Every whisper I hear about me in the hallway, and anytime I try to help someone, they get a terrified look on their face, and say no. There's even rumors that I'm planning on attacking the school again. I'm not invited to any party or after-school activity. They're still scared of me.

And I know that they fake it. 'They' are the girls who defeated me. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity. I drove them apart their freshmen year so I could get the crown in Equestria. Somehow, Twilight got them together, and they all became friends again. They represented the Elements of Harmony , and they defeated me. Twilight told me that they would help me to learn friendship. I know that they didn't want to. They just acted like they wanted to, and they decided to be nice to me.

I just realized that I've been sitting in the shower bawling my eyes out, so I decide to step out of the shower, and grab a towel to dry off. I put a clean pair of pajamas on, and sit back on my bed, and take a knife out of my bedside table drawer. I pull up my sleeves , revealing scars from earlier times. I pick up the knife, and hold it close to my skin.

All the lies.

'I will always be here for you, Sunset Shimmer,'

I cut into my skin, and I feel the blood coming down my arm.

All the rumors.

'She's lying, she's still a horrible monster.'

I cut into my skin again, and I feel a burning sensation on where I cut.

'I heard she's planning on attacking the school again, not surprised.'

I cut my arm again, and I feel blood slowly coming down my arm.

All the nightmares.

'And what are you going to do to stop me?'

'I don't want this pathetic little high school, I want Equestria!'

I feel the burning sensation that I felt when I turned into a demon. I cut my wrist again, and I feel the blood on my hands.

I lay there, my vision blurry from crying. I put the knife back in the drawer, and fall asleep.

Author's Note

I know this is a little bit on the depressing side, but I hope you still like the story. I am still working on the first chapter of my other story, but I wanted to write this story because this idea has been in my mind for a while, so I wrote the story! Remember, all feedback is appreciated. I also wanted to say that if you ever have thoughts of self-harming or committing suicide, please talk to someone, even me. I love each and every one of you, and I will always be there if you need me, I'm just a message away. :twilightsmile::heart:

Author's Note and Sequel!

Hi! First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has read my story and out it in their favorites, it is greatly appreciated! I also noticed that this story has almost 1,500 views, yay! I never thought that this story would ever reach this amount of views. Also, if you didn't know already, this story has a sequel. You can read it here ! I hope you enjoy it! Once again, thank you for all the positive feedback! - Sayde :twilightsmile::heart: (sunbuttsparkle)