Pinkowatts

by Arco Iris

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1531

Pinkie Pie teaches Twilight the unit of measuring fun!

A light hearted new story of mine features Spike taking a test from his homeschool teacher Twilight Sparkle that is based on the metric system when Pinkie Pie comes along for a visit! After taking Twilights test, Pinkie Pie realizes that she is missing a question on the "pinkowatt" which is the metric system unit for measuring fun.

Published 2012-06-03 13:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-03 13:34:01 UTC

The Entire Story :P

It was a bright sunny day in Ponyville, not a cloud in the sky. It was hot as well, but frequent summer breezes allowed cool air to creep in. The humidity was bearable but there was a dense fog over the lake and its surroundings. The smell of freshly baked bread and sweets tarried about. Hooves maintained a steady beat as several ponies trotted across the streets as well as the chirpping of both birds and insects in perfect unison. Foals pranced in the streets and small animals scurried around harvesting food scraps. An esscence of pure tranquillity hung in the atmosphere of Ponyville...er most of Ponyville, that is.
"Spiiiike! It's test day" hollered Twilight. The lavender mare tapped her hoof repeadedly as she awaited her klutzy companion dragon to trot down the stairs. "It's such a nice day out," Twilight thought, "The quicker Spike took his weekly test, the quicker they could enjoy the beautiful day".
"I'm coming, I'm coming" grumbled Spike as he climbed down the stairs of the library.
"Spike, as your teacher;" Twilight was cut off.
"I know, I know, wake up with you, take my lessons take my weekly test. We've been over this every week Twilight. You're still my favorite teacher" said Spike as he began to blossom into full consciousness.
"I'm your only teacher. You're homeschooled" snapped Twilight. "Now take your test!"
"Alright, what's this weeks subject?"
"The metric system. Now please take a seat," Twilight gestured over to a desk, "and begin your test". A pencil and test sheet appered out of thin air on top of the desk. Spike walked over to the seat, and started on the test. (in the comments please tell me if i'm suppossed to make a new paragraph when a charater thinks a quote, i'm not the best writer) "Pretty simple" he though as he began. He started filling in correct answers all over his page. The entire test was 100 questions long. Temperature, decibals (loudness) , distance, time, mass, are and volume.
"Alright, Twilight I finished it!" said Spike.
"Really? Lets see here...", Twilight paused, levitated Spikes test paper over to herself and began to check it over. "Right, right, right, right, right, right, wrong, wrong, right....". "Hmmmm.... Spike, you got 92 out of 100 questions correct. Thats 92% or an "A". Now then, what were you in the mood to do today?
Spike was about to answer when suddenly Pinkie Pie came crashing through the window! Pinkie Pie stood up casually and examined her where-abouts. "Hi Twilight! Hi Spike! Hi Owlowiscious! Hi Peewee!"
Owlowiscious hooted. Peewee chirped. Twilights jaw was hanging and her eyes were wide open. She just saw her hyperactive, ADHD, sugarcrazed friend crash through her window for no aparrent reason and just walk it off. She was completely dumbfounded at Pinkie Pies queerness. "Um Pinkie Pie what are you doing here?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Well when I woke up I was sooo bored so I went to Rarity's place. She was working on dresses and i was trying to help her when I spilled dye on hem of the dress she had just finished and that made me sooo sad! I tried to say sorry and then brought over some apology cookies but she was so mad she locked her door on me! Then I went to Sweet Apple Acres to go buck apples with Applejack but I starting spinning really really fast when we were kicking trees and I got sooo dizzy that I accidently kicked a tree and made it fall on the entire bushell of apples that we just collected. Then Applejack went into the barn to take a nap and when I was back with some more apology cookies she locked me out of the barn! Then I went to Fluttershy's cottage and she was teaching her birds a new song so I joined in but I think I was too loud because I scared them all away. Including Fluttershy! When I was back with even more apology cookies she was crying in the corner she was so scared! After that, I tried to find Rainbow Dash but she was either playing hide and seek without telling me or she was just hiding from me. So I was still bored so I came here!" Pinkie Pie had finished her entire story in one breath.
"But but but..." began Twiilight. But there was nothing to say.
"Oopsies! looks like I did that!" Pinkie Pie motioned over to the Pinkie Pie shaped hole through the window. "Give me half a jiffy and I'll be back with some apology cookies!"
"If it makes you feel any better Twilight, half a jiffy is about .0000000000000000000000015 of a second" said Spike. (according to the average time of a jiffy in chemistry spike is correct... i think)

.00000000000000000000000015 of 1 second later...
"I'm baaaaack" exclaimed Pinkie pie as she crashed through the other window of Twilight's library. She was holding a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that had the words "I'm Sorry!" crudely written on each individual cookie in vivd pink frosting.
"I'm not even going to ask this time" mumbled Twilight as she used her magic to levitate Spike's test in a portfolio.
"Hey what's that thingy?!" asked Pinkie Pie.
"That would be Spike's test on the Equstrian metric system of measuring units." Twilight replied with a matter-of-fact type tone in her voice.
"Sounds fun, can I try?" asked Pinkie Pie
"It's not" said Spike.
"If it'll keep you out of my mane then sure." replied Twilight. Twilight then used her magic to make another copy of the test and a pencil for Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie smilied, took the pencil and paper and got to work.
About an hour later, Spike was outside playing with Peewee, Snip and Snails, Twilight was rereading another novel by J.K.Howling, the Diamond Dog author who wrote the "Harry Pony" series, and Pinkie Pie had just finished her test. "Twilight! I'm done!" Pinkie Pie said with a bitter, irritated tone in her voice.
"Geez Pinkie Pie what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong! I'll tell you whats wrong, missy. There is not a single question, not 1 question on the Pinkowatt unit!" yelled Pinkie Pie.
"A what?" asked Twilight, with a confused tone in her voice.
"A Pinkowatt," Pinkie Pie began, "A Pinkowatt is the unit in the Standard Equestrian Metric System of Measurement for measuring the quality of fun!"
"Oh Pinkie Pie there's no such thing as," but Pinkie Pie was not done explaining.
"You see a Pinkowatt is simaler to all metric units. For example: a balloon is equivalent to 1 Pinkowatt. A pice of candy is a CentiPinkowatt or 1/100 of the fun of a balloon. A cupcake is about .1 Pinkowatts or a DeciPinkowatt. A cake or ice-cream cone is about 10 Pinkowatts or a DecaPinkowatt. The average pony spans from 500 to 1500 Pinkowatts or .5 to 1.5 KiloPinkowatts. Make sense? In fact I even have a machine that tells me how many Pinkowatts a pony is. Be back in a jiffy.
One more broken window and a jiffy later, Pinkie Pie had returned carrying a phonograph that was duct tapped to a leaf blower connected to a shower hose that was tied around a kitchen strainer. "This, Twilight is what is know as a Pinkometer. I take this;" Pinkie Pie placed the strainer on Twilight's head, "Then I turn this on," Pinkie Pie cranked up the music disc that was on the phonograph, "Now I flip this switch," Pinkie Pie started to spray duct from the leaf blower all over the library, "And in a few seconds we should here your average Pinkieness or how many Pinkowatts you radiate."
The phonograph music died down and played a recording of Pinkie Pie's voice. "Currant Subject contains 100 Pinkowatts! Subject type is likely to be an inannimate object! Judging on the little amount of pinkowatts radiated, this object is likely to be a doll!"
"I thought you said that most ponies range from 500 to 1500 Pinkowatts" said Twilight, playing along with what appeared to her as a joke.
"Well according to the Pinkometer you are about as fun as 10 whole cakes!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "Now then Twilight I hope that you can see that even fun has a unit of measurement and that Spike needs to learn this urgently! I'll be on with my day. Hmph!" Pinkie Pie made sure to take her equipment with her as she climbed out of 1 of the libraries 3 new doors. Twilight sighed and tried to comprehend what had just transpired.
The next day, Twilight was in town checking the bakeries to get a cake for Spikes upcoming 9th birthday. She cantered over to Joe's Doughnut shop for a gigantic doughnut cake. Twilight walked into the store. A soon as the door shut, a little bell went off signifying that a new customer had walked in. Twilight took a place on line and looked at the variaty of sweets on the menu and saw something that caught her eye. "Doughnut Birthday Cake 20 bits, 800 calories, 115 Pinkowatts?!"