Just Business

"... You ready to head in?"

"Shh! Keep your voice down, what if they hear us?"

"Don't be stupid. We've been scouting out this place for hours, we made sure they were gone."

"Whatever dude, these guys are nightmares, you know that…"

"Well, we're armed, we can handle ourselves. Besides, you heard the boss- either we get those documents or we don't come back!"

"Right… let's just get this over with…"

The two ponies staking out the building across the way quickly made their way across the street, ducking into an alley. They stealthily slipped around the neighboring houses, keeping an eye out for any possible witnesses. To their shock, a nearby door opened, a pony exiting his home to take out the trash. The two ponies stood by idly, waiting for him to go back inside before continuing forward.

With the unexpected interruption now over, they continued their approach, making sure not to bump into any trash cans or cause any undue noise. They arrived at the backdoor, each pony taking a side of the frame. One pony nodded to the other and went to reach for the doorknob, feeling a slight breeze run across his fetlock.

"Door's open…" he whispered, motioning to draw his weapon. The pony across from him did the same, raising it to eye level. He mouthed that they would enter on three and to stay close. He counted in his mind, and quietly pushed the door open, slipping inside.

The kitchen had pots and pans strewn about, cooking ingredients as well as measuring cups lying amidst the cookware. The room smelled vaguely of apples, the sweet and savory aroma still hanging in the air. One pony trotted over to a mixing bowl, tentatively reaching for its contents when his partner smacked him on the shoulder, motioning towards the living room. The two ponies quickly checked the room and pressed forward.

The living room looked relatively pristine, almost as if it had never been used. The furniture looked well-kept and the floors appeared polished, save for the scuffs left by horseshoes on wood panels. The two ponies eyed the front door, and noticed a staircase on their left side.

Suddenly, a large, feathered object leapt up from somewhere out of view, screeching and flapping its wings as it shot past them and out the open back door.

"Damn, what the hell was that!?"

"Looked like some kinda bird… maybe it got in through there," the other pony responded, pointing at an open window.

"Whatever, keep moving and stay quiet," the first pony responded, nodding in the direction of the staircase.

The ponies moved around, making sure that the departure of the feathered creature did not cause any trouble, and peered up at the top of the staircase. They then began their ascent, guns raised in the event they needed them.

Once at the top, they saw the upstairs hallway was empty, seeing a pair of doorways opposite one another. They silently made their way across the hallway, deciding to take the door on the left. They each took one side of the door, flinging it open and pointing their guns at whatever may be behind it.

The bathroom was profoundly empty, a heavy, moist heat hitting the two ponies in the face. The mirror was fogged and the sink was still wet, having been recently used. Must've gone out for a night on the town... the lead pony thought to himself.

The two ponies quietly shut the door, turning their attention to the door behind them. They took their positions and gently pushed the door open, the ripe scent of sex hitting them in the face. They peered inside, finding the room a complete mess.

The bed was completely disheveled, the pillows resting on the floor and the comforter and sheets laying beside them. The ponies pinched their noses, one having an expression of revulsion as they entered. They began to ransack the room, looking for anything important or any possible leads to where their objective may be hidden.

"Hey, check this out…" one pony said, pointing to a chest at the foot of the bed. The other pony approached it, eyeing the padlock on the front.

"You think you can pick it?" the other pony asked.

"Gimme a sec…" he replied. The soft thrum of magic coming to life filled his ears as the magic condensed to a point on the end of his horn, extending to the lock. After a few moments and concentrated thoughts, the lock gave a satisfying click and popped open.

"Good work," the first pony said.

"Hey, they call me Lock for a reason!" the pony responded, proud of himself. They lifted the lid on the chest, finding it empty save for one piece of parchment.

"What- aw, come on! This is bullshit!" the first pony exclaimed, tossing the paper aside as he continued to examine the chest for any possible hidden compartments.

"Now hold on, maybe this is a clue..." the other pony said, taking the paper from him. He brought it up and began to read.

'To whoever was stupid enough ta break into our house to try 'n loot it for yer crap and find this letter: Howdy! I gotta say, I'm mighty impressed. Ya didn't get caught, and ya didn't get killed. That's gotta be worth sumthin'. Though, I gotta admit, y'all've got balls a' steel ta try 'n sneak into our house, considerin' the rumors runnin' around these parts about us. I just hope ya manage ta get out 'fore we decide ta paint the walls with yer brains.

I almost forgot: Ain't Striker a doll? She's a good falcon. Hope ya didn't piss her off though. She's like our own security system- if ya didn't kill her when ya saw her, y'all best believe she went ta find us, and y'all best believe we're on our way ta come find out what spooked her.

Oh, and one last thing: run.'

The two ponies felt their blood run cold as they felt cold steel press against the backs of their necks.

"Wow Orchard, you were right; they really were that stupid!" a stallion's voice said.

"I told ya Brass, they were gonna show up after we 'left'. We had ta make it look like we was gonna go out somewhere so they'd take the bait and try ta raid us," a female voice responded. "By the way, we're gonna kill these guys, I don't think usin' our code-names is really necessary."

"I guess yer right," the stallion responded.

"So Shell, you in the mood ta get the razor wire?" the mare questioned.

He pondered her words for a moment. "Nah, we did just take a shower after all," Shell said. "Not gonna lie though, my hips're still a little sore from our session a bit ago."

"Mkay, so the old fashioned way," the mare replied, the stallion under her gun feeling his heart begin to race as the hammer of her gun clicked into firing position. "And for the record, I coulda gone a couple more rounds," she mewled.

"Maybe when we're done here?"

"The sooner we're done, the sooner we're back in bed."

Shell gave a small laugh, returning his full attention to the stallion in front of him. "Sorry it had ta end this way, colts. It ain't nothin' personal…" Shell said, pulling the lever on his rifle, a fresh round loading into the chamber.

"It's just business," Applejack said as she pulled the trigger.