I Have This Friend

by Titanium Dragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1976

Twilight asks Celestia for romantic advice. You know, for a friend.

Twilight asks Celestia for romantic advice.

You know, for a friend.

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi

Published 2016-01-25 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-25 02:00:01 UTC

Not me, of course! It's some other mare.

“Princess Celestia?”

Celestia lifted her head from the scroll she had been writing, placing her quill back in her ink pot. “Ah, Twilight. Come in.”

Twilight cautiously pushed the door open with her hoof.

“Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, Princess.”

“Of course, Twilight. I’m always happy to see you.” Celestia smiled at her student, scooting over on her mat and gesturing with her wing for Twilight to lay beside her. While many ponies might feel that her sitting mat was not becoming of a princess, the Qilinese mat was as soft as silk and vastly more comfortable than its lumpy surface let on. As Twilight’s eyes flicked across the room, Celestia’s horn glowed, picking up the half-inked scroll and her inkpot and placing them over on her desk.

Twilight flashed the older alicorn a smile before walking over and settling in next to her. “Thank you.” She sighed, smiling as she leaned against Celestia’s side. “You haven’t had me lie here since I was a filly. This really brings back memories.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Celestia chuckled. “Though I fear the true reason for sharing my mat is that there was a bit of a mishap with your old sitting cushion when I sent it out to be cleaned.”

“Oh.” Twilight laughed nervously. “I can go find one if you’d like.”

“Nonsense. It is not as if you have fleas. Well, not anymore.”

Twilight frowned. “I can’t believe Lemon Drops gave those to the entire class. Sometimes I still think I can feel my mane crawling.”

“It happens, sometimes.” The larger alicorn stretched out, relaxing. “It has been too long since we just sat down and talked.”

Twilight smiled slightly. “Not since Rarity opened her boutique here in Canterlot.”

“Judging by the dresses I’ve seen many of the nobles wearing, she must be doing quite well.”

Twilight laughed. “Well, you know Rarity.”

“I do.” Celestia’s lips twitched. “Though she does seem to have a taste for my hoofshoes.”

“Eheheh…” Twilight lifted one hoof to rub at her mane.

Celestia gently touched Twilight’s shoulder with her hoof. “Much as I do enjoy your company, your letter seemed to indicate you had something on your mind.”

“Oh, yes.” Twilight shifted back and forth on the sitting mat, settling into it and carefully schooling her expression. “I have this friend…”

“Is this friend sitting right next to me?” Celestia asked, her eyes sparkling.

“No.” Twilight coughed. “But she asked me to keep her name a secret.”

“I see. And what did this friend want to ask me?” Celestia smiled benevolently.

“Well, you see, my friend has… another friend. And she’s liked this friend for a long time.”

“Oh? Does this friend of yours have a crush?” Celestia allowed a smile to tug at the corners of her mouth.

“Yes. She’s known this friend for a while, and isn’t sure how to, you know, approach them.”

“I see. And does this friend of a friend have a name?”

Twilight grimaced. “I… probably should keep that a secret too.”

“I see. And why does this friend need my advice?”

“Well, you see, it’s kind of…” Twilight lifted one hoof to gesture vaguely in the air. “Complicated.”

“In my experience, matters of the heart are often made more complex than they need to be.”

“Hehe, yeah. I told her the same thing. But… well, I think she might kind of have a point this time.”

Celestia chuckled quietly. “Let me guess: this friend of yours likes another mare.”

“Eheheh, yeah,” Twilight said, shifting awkwardly. “Not me, of course! It’s some other mare.” Twilight waved her hoof quickly.

“Well, I should hope so. It would be rather awkward asking the subject of your affection for advice from me.” Celestia winked.

“Yeah, just a little.” Twilight shook her head, shifting her weight again on the mat. “The problem is, they aren’t really sure if this friend of theirs is interested in mares at all. You know, like that.”

“Well, she could ask her.”

“But isn’t that a little… awkward? I mean, why would you even ask that unless you wanted to ask them out? Might as well just ask them… you know… in the first place?”

Celestia nodded her head. “It is. But that is always a risk you take. In truth, it is likely best for your ‘friend’ to simply be honest with her, and go from there.”

“That’s not the only problem, though. You see, this friend of a friend is pretty well-known here in Canterlot. She’s elegant and she carries herself with a lot of poise and confidence. And, well… my friend, she’s not as well known by comparison. She’s not poised or elegant. She’s actually kind of plain.” Twilight poked at the mat with her hoof.

Celestia smiled gently and draped her wing over Twilight’s back. “Oh, Twilight. I’m sure this friend of yours has nothing to worry about. I’m sure she’s a perfectly lovely mare.”

“Oh, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with her.” Twilight shook her head, even as she nestled into Celestia’s wing. “But she doesn’t have the best manners, and is kind of… rough around the edges in some ways. Not that she’s, you know, terrible, but she’s embarrassed herself at a few parties here and there, and sort of… doesn’t really fit in with the ponies here in Canterlot, you know?” She looked askance up at the older pony, who bobbed her head.

“And your friend is concerned that she will be rejected because she does not enjoy the company of the nobility.”

Twilight shook her head. “Actually… kind of the opposite. I mean, what if she wants to say yes, but doesn’t? Or shouldn’t say yes, but does? That could really hurt their friendship.”

Celestia frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, for this friend of a friend… public image is kind of a big deal.” Twilight gestured vaguely. “She has to make a lot of public appearances and deal with a lot of important ponies. And having a marefriend who doesn’t fit in might be a problem. I mean, when they’re just friends... everypony has a few strange friends. But if you’re somepony’s marefriend, that sort of means you kind of approve of a lot of their behavior.”

Celestia set her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “It doesn’t quite work like that.”

“Still.” Twilight sighed. “My friend doesn’t really want to cause trouble for her, or make her feel like she has to quit her job, or avoid certain ponies to be with her. And you know, not everypony in Equestria is all that comfortable with two mares being together, even today.” Twilight looked down at her hooves. “And I know it’s silly, but she’s worried that this mare is going to say yes to her, despite all of that. That’s just the sort of pony they are.”

“It just shows your ‘friend’ really cares about that other pony. But nopony worth dating would ever be ashamed of the pony they loved.”

“I know.” Twilight sighed. “It’s just... my friend is worried. The mare she likes is so regal and majestic, and she’s just a kind of drab, plain pony by comparison, even if they’ve both saved Equestria a few times. I mean, it’s not like she thinks she’s unworthy, but…”

Celestia’s breath caught in her throat, but Twilight didn’t seem to notice.

“And what if she says no? I mean, they’re good friends, but what if it makes things awkward between them? They share an awful lot of friends… it’s not like anypony would think they were just hanging out because she liked them, but it might feel that way to the other pony a little bit, you know?”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia said firmly, turning her head to look her former student in the eye, even as she tugged the younger alicorn against her side with her wing. “This friend of yours is worried about whether or not to express their feelings openly to the pony they love, yes?”

Twilight nodded her head, tensing slightly.

“Don’t be. Anypony worthy of your, uhm, friend’s love wouldn’t want them to keep something like this a secret on their account. If that ‘friend of a friend’ is a true friend – and I’m sure they are – they would never stop being her friend just because they didn’t feel the same way about her. It would be much better to bring it out in the open and discuss it honestly, rather than try and hide it away and fret over whether or not it will damage their relationship.”

The tension left Twilight’s body and she smiled up at Celestia, leaning over to give her a hug around the shoulders. “Thank you. That’s what I thought, but… they just wanted to be sure.”

Celestia stiffened, then relaxed, lifting one hoof to pat the smaller pony on the back. “You’re welcome, Twilight.”

Twilight blushed as she let go. “Heh. Well, I should probably go and tell my friend to go for it. Maybe have her go get some flowers and some chocolates or something while she’s in Canterlot.” She rubbed her mane before moving to get up.

“Twilight.”

Twilight paused. “Yes, Princess?”

Celestia sighed. “Your… friend… should keep things simple. Going too far might seem presumptuous, and could make things much more awkward than they need to be.”

“Don’t worry, Princess. I’m sure she won’t go overboard. I mean, it isn’t really her style, you know?”

Celestia smiled gently. “I know.”

Twilight rose to her hooves and began walking towards the door. “Thank you for your help, Princess. I’m sure my friend will really appreciate it.”

Celestia blinked. “Are you sure there wasn't anything else you wanted to ask?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. I think you’ve said everything I wanted to know.”

“Alright. Just so long as you’re sure,” Celestia said skeptically.

Twilight smiled and bobbed her head, lighting her horn and slipping out the same way she'd come, before pulling the doors shut behind her.

Celestia stared at the door for several long moments, then down at where Twilight had been sitting on the mat. Reaching over, she slowly ran her hoof over its silken surface, feeling the warmth that continued to cling to the fabric.

She shook her head and sighed. “I hope she doesn’t buy me anything too expensive.”

“Well, that was weird,” Twilight said, glancing back over her shoulder at the great golden doors behind her.

“So what’d she say?”

Twilight started. “Have you been waiting out here the whole time, Applejack?”

Applejack shifted anxiously on her hooves. “Couldn’t let’cha come all this way by yourself.”

Twilight smiled. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to wait.”

“It’s alright. You know how bad I wanted to know.” Applejack glanced away, rubbing her foreleg. “So, uh… go for it?”

Twilight shook her head and straightened up, smiling. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

Twilight nodded.

“Thank Celestia,” Applejack said, the tension leaving her shoulders.

Twilight stepped forward, setting a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “I told you everything would be alright.”

“I know, I just...”

“I know.” Twilight wrapped her hooves around Applejack’s shoulders. “Now, I think you have a pony to go talk to.”

Applejack smiled, returning the hug before returning to her own hooves. “Thanks, Twi. I really appreciate you askin’ the Princess for me.”

“No problem.” Twilight smiled and gave her friend a playful shove. “You could have just asked her yourself, you know; it’s not like she doesn’t pretty much already know who we were talking about after that conversation.”

Applejack shook her head. “Nah. Askin’ the Princess if I should ask out Rarity would’ve been just plain old awkward.”

Author's Note

Thanks to Foehn and Spectral for their help reading over and editing this story! I really appreciate it.