Fickle Romance

by reflective vagrant

Rating: teen
Tags: Doctor Whooves, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Sex, Derpy Hooves
Length: 3473

Ditzy and her stallion friend try to enjoy an evening together, but things quickly go wrong.

To be swept off one's feet and be carried off into the sunset for a happily ever after. That's what many romances try to be. This one gets a swift drop kick out the window and lands face first onto a conveniently placed pile of manure instead. Join a young mare in love for an experience that isn't... quite the "into the sunset" moment that she's hoping for.

Author notes and disclaimers: No clop here. I wanted to try my hand at these often poorly handled tags and see if I can't break a cliché or two. Probably the only time I'll be using sex or anthro tags in my stories. (Yes, I know the image isn't anthro. I was going for expression vs lining up with the story's technicalities. If anyone wants to translate that expression to anthro, knock yourself out.) And a touch of comedy that isn't quite worth the comedy tag, as most my works tend to have.

Published 2016-03-25 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-25 23:40:01 UTC

Careless Words

Author's Note

This is not connected to the Compass universe in any way, but feedback is still welcome.I wish to thank Sonik for assistance in editing and revision, as well as a second hand that would likely wish to remain anonymous. Message me if you do indeed want the credit and I'll correct it.

PS I've had trouble with picking tags before, so if one pops out to you as missing, let me know because I generally don't add tags if it's not the focus. (save of course warning tags like gore, sex and mature.)

Careless Words

“I still don’t understand why they have to bury me in my own home every time it happens,” Time Turner, Ditzy's friend and host for the night, spoke idly as he threw another log on the fire. The warmth was certainly necessary, as the cold manifested by the howling blizzard was seeping into the house.

“Heavy storms have to happen every now and again to keep the weather system in balance,” Ditzy Doo answered from the guest bedroom. “Blizzards are no exception.”

With a huff, he went back to his lab desk to sit down. “I mean, I selected this house because its location and construction was ideal for almost any disaster. It drains well and is high up enough not to have a problem with flooding. Its structure is built so well it can even handle earthquakes with ease.”

A large pile of snow fell outside, catching his attention as it plopped down and blocked off the one window that still showed any streetlight through the storm. “And all this snow I’ve been cursed with,” he grumbled. “Why does the weather team have to throw so much snow my way every time any kind of winter storm is scheduled?” He picked up his book again with a shake of his head. “Whenever I complain, all they can tell me is that it has something to do with how my house is positioned with the neighboring hills, and that they can’t do anything about it.”

Ditzy yelled out again after making some rustling noises from her room, ““Well, you didn’t have to stay here. I had a spare bed at my place for you tonight, if you'd wanted it.”

“What!?” He exclaimed in shock. “And throw my ongoing experiments down the drain? Most of them simply can’t be moved.”

Gesturing towards his experiments to nobody in particular, he began to rant. “Just about all of them require that I keep the lab warm through the night. One is at a critical stage, and has to be tended to at exactly six forty-seven tomorrow morning. I can't wait for them to clear the snow.”

He folded his arms together with his book in one hand and pridefully leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry, but I simply had to refuse.”

As he went back to his reading, a shadow slowly crept up and out of the hallway. “You are so stubborn,” Ditzy called out with a huff before warming up her attitude. “But, that’s what I like about you, Doctor. You’re just so dedicated to whatever you do that you don’t have time to do much else.”

After seeing that her host was still intent on his reading, Ditzy carefully poised herself against the door frame. “But, when I manage to pull you away from your lab, you’re one of the nicest and funnest ponies to be with.” Her head tilted and her eyes softened as her already warm voice gained a playful tone. “I don’t really mind being snowed in with you, Doctor.”

Time Turner closed his eyes and gently shook his head for a moment. “I still don’t see why you decided to come to my place to keep me company. I told you I'd be perfectly fi–”

His train of thought had stopped abruptly. He blushed. His eyes darted rapidly, taking in the situation—as well as the rather revealing details of his companion’s dress. Although he was only doing one of these on purpose.

“I, erm..." With a cough he finally redirected his gaze to her face. "Never mind. I think I have my answer.” He reflexively scooted his chair backwards a bit.

The primaries of her visible wing teasingly caressed the cabinet to the side of the door. "I want to ask you a question, Doctor."

A weak blush came to her cheeks as she stopped leaning on the door frame. With a puppy-dog-like charm to her drooping wings and ears, she carefully moved towards him. Closing a part of the distance, she stopped and took up a simple, but suggestive pose. "Does this dress make me look sexy?"

Having scooted back his chair a bit more, her host had bumped into the experiment that sat next to his desk. With a quick glance back and a sigh of relief, he drew a straight face and answered her calmly. "Ditzy, I am a gentlecolt, and it is unbecoming for gentlecolts to think of mares that aren't their wives in such a fashion."

He scooted his chair back to his desk and cracked a smile for the briefest of moments. "But if I must answer your question, then please, give me a moment." He set his book down, then stood up and looked back at her.

"The term 'sexy' is purely an opinion, and hardly scientific, but I'll do my best anyway." He put his hands out as if they were the bottom corners of a picture frame. Then, he carefully examined her while she tried to control her blush. After walking a full circle around her, he stopped back in front of his chair.

While he gazed at her, her wings gave a light fluttering. "Come on, Doctor. Stop teasing me."

"Alright, I have my answer." He pulled back his hands and folded his arms up and closed his eyes in thought. "In my opinion, it is impossible for that dress, or any dress, to help you look sexy." With this he let out a sigh and slowly opened his eyes.

Her blush faded as she looked at him in shock. A moment later she ran back into the hallway, crying.

"Wait, come back!" he called out to her as she ran. She tripped multiple times and fell once as she ran to the guest room.

When he up to her, he attempted to help her up, only to be given a solid slug from her left fist immediately after.

"Some gentlecolt you are!" she yelled as she turned back to her room. "You could have just said 'no!'"

Shaking off the punch as best he could, he stumbled after her and pleaded, "Please wait–"

She saw him coming and purposely slammed the door in his face, knocking him backwards into the bathroom. The back of his head caught the edge of the sink on his way down to the floor.

Time Turner laid there, grasping his head in pain. When he cried out in agony, all he heard was a "Serves you right!" from the door across the hall. He stayed there for several minutes until the pain subsided.

Once he crawled into his kitchen, he opened the medicine cabinet and started tending to his head. "Well old chap, somehow you managed to botch things up again."

Naughty Advice

Earlier that week:

"I said I want to look nice for him, not embarrass myself! I'd look like a lumpy corn dog in this stuff!" Ditsy finally threw the third dress in a row over the changing room curtain.

"Come on Ditsy!" Sparkler wined at her sister. "Not every stallion likes skinny mares. You don't have to be a size zero to look nice in these things."

Sparkler turned and levitated the rejected items towards the changing room attendee. "Sorry about this," she said with a grimaced smile. "She's just-"

A small crash was heard from the changing room, followed shortly after by a tall pair of heels being kicked out under the curtain.

"I can barely keep my balance as it is, and you want me to wear heels!?"

Sparkler's ears flattened as she quietly whined to herself, "Not this again..."

She back around to the changing room and briefly gritted her teeth. "We're not foals anymore Ditzy! The doctors say you almost have average balance now."

Sparkler winced as she finished speaking, stepping forward to the curtain.

"I'm not average!" Ditsy said on the verge of a scream, "I'm never going to be average! I'm a fre-"

Ditzy couldn't continue, her mouth was suddenly held shut by Sparkler, who had popped her head into the changing room, horn alight. "Don't you dare say that word. We promised."

A moment passed between them as they looked into each others eyes to calm down.

Ditsy took a deep breath as her sister let go. "Take care of Dinky and don't talk down on yourself or your eyes."

She tried her best not to break down. She tried desperately, scrunching her eyes shut. She shook for a moment and almost had it under control, but her face betrayed her as she cracked a smile. Soon they had both broken down into a giggling fit.

After calming down, Sparkler wiped a tear from her eye. "Dad hasn't been gone two days and were already breaking our promise."

Ditzy looked around the changing room, shaking her head slightly. "When he finds out we left her at her friend's to go shopping he's going to have a fit."

Sparkler lifted her own head back up with a naughty grin. "We're just going to have to bribe her to stay quiet when he gets back."

Ditzy nodded in agreement before reaching for another dress. Just as she was about to take it, Sparkler yanked it away with her magic.

"I think that we've had quite enough dress shopping for now," Sparkler firmly stated as she pulled her head and the dress out of the changing room. "Get dressed so we can go get some lunch. We'll try again later."

. . .

"It's just when you're thinking about him that you start tripping, Ditzy," Sparkler told her as they took their drinks from the waiter. "Just take it slow, stick to the simple stuff and you'll be fine."

Ditzy looked down at her drink with a furled brow. "That makes sense I guess." But how do I..." Her grip on her cup tightened.

"take your time," Sparkler said, after finishing her first guzzle from the straw. "We've got all afternoon."

"I'm afraid that If I just keep it simple then he won't notice. He's pretty thick when it comes to..." Ditzy paused then gave a hearty laugh. "well he's pretty thick to a lot of things really, but especially this kind of stuff."

Sparkler leaned forward on the table and stared strait at her sister, giving her a cocky smile.

"What?" Ditzy asked in frustration.

Sparkler just continued to stare at her silently.

Ditzy's eyes opened up a little in realization and she leaned forward aggressively. "How many times do I have to tell you? He's not gay!" she snapped loud enough for half the restaurant to hear.

Sensing eyes on her suddenly, Ditzy leaned back and sipped her drink until she felt they had finally left her alone. "I've seen what happens when stallions make the same mistake. Somehow he's even more adorable when he's all nervous, trying to let them down but still being polite about it."

Sparkler rolled her eyes. "Well, 'adorkable' anyway. But he could just be covering it up—not that I would want him to turn out to be gay." She licked her lip, closed her eyes gently and widened her smile. "But don't worry, he's all yours. And if we play our cards right, then by the time this is over we'll be able to settle it once and for all."

"but how can we get him to notice? I've tried makeup. I've tried getting my hair done. I've even managed to get him to sit with me on the tunnel of love ride." Ditzy huffed and hung her head. "And he still just thinks I needed a partner for the secret shopper survey I made up."

Sparkler gave a strong thinking look to the table as she set her chin on her hand. "Hmm... That's a toughie." They thought quietly until the food arrived.

When they started in on their food, Sparkler spilled a little sauce on her tank top. When she cleaned it up, there was a near clear spot right between her breasts, as if there were a hole in the middle, due to the material it was made of. Ditzy looked at it for a moment then she shot her head up, a small smile forming on her face. "There's still the dress."

Sparkler looked at her sister. "You sure? You were having trouble with them and it would have to be a pretty fancy one to work."

Ditzy nodded her head. "I think I have one in mind too." She leaned over the table as sparkler let her whisper into her ear.

Sparkler, against her normal shameless nature managed to blush for just a moment. She turned her head back to her sister. "Strait for the jugular! You go girl!"

"Well..." Ditzy looked down and blushed. "How else am I even supposed to get his attention? It will be hard to get his mind off all his sciencey stuff during the storm and we've ruled out just about everything else."

Standing up, Sparkler gave Ditzy a look of both pride and mischief. "In for a cent, in for the whole bit bag! Lets go get it!"

Author's Note

Feedback is welcome.

The Punch Line

Late the next morning, Ditzy finally came out of her room in a normal winter dress, with her suitcase all packed and ready to leave. The sound of snow being worked outside the door indicated that the path outside was almost open.

Walking into the kitchen, Ditzy went straight for the towel drawer. She wet a towel at the sink then went to the breakfast table and sat down. Warm waffles, homemade butter-cream syrup and blueberries sat there to greet her. She glared past them and across the table at Time Turner, who was distracted refilling his ice pack from the bucket on the table.

She went about cleaning up the tear matted fur on her face. "I slept just fine, by the way. Thanks for asking," she grumbled.

"That's–Ah!" He cringed right as he placed the ice pack back onto his head, which he started wrapping with bandages. "That's good to know. As you can tell, I took the liberty of making us breakfast. I even made sure to follow the directions to the letter this time."

He finished wrapping the ice pack, got up and walked over to a half-full coffee pot. "Not that I could have managed to get inventive with it right now even if I wanted to." He poured himself a large cup.

Ditzy glared at the plate of waffles in the middle of the table for a long moment. Hesitantly, she picked up a fork and stabbed a few to bring them to her plate. "Don't think that this is an acceptable apology, just because I'm eating."

Time Turner finished his sip of coffee and set the cup down on the table. "Oh, this isn't an apology. I just needed to keep myself busy," he said as he retrieved a few waffles himself.

"Wait." Ditzy's eyes wandered to the counter where she noticed the wet coffee filters, still filled up with used coffee grinds. Next to those were several plates of cold waffles. "What do you mean by 'keep yourself busy'?" she asked with uncertainty.

Time Turner finished with the syrup, set it down and picked up his coffee cup again. "You see, I have this rather unpleasant bump from last night." He quickly finished his coffee and gestured to the bandaging with his free hand. "I got a nasty smack from the sink and my head has been a bit blurry since. So I'm sorry if I'm a bit slow this morning."

Her eyebrows went up in worry. "H-have you been up all night?"

He slowly swallowed his first bite and returned his focus to his plate, but didn't take any more of his waffles. "Kind of had to, really. With a bump this bad and my head still not all that clear, it could very well be a concussion. I'll need to check in with the hospital when they get the snow cleared."

Ditzy's eyes went wide. "C-c-concussion!?"

"The experiments are set and taken care of though, and we can't go anywhere until they reach the door anyway. All we can do is eat breakfast and wait."

. . .

After breakfast, the snow was almost cleared from the door. They stood at the entryway, mere moments from freedom.

Ditzy stood there with her suitcase meekly, glancing back at Time Turner somewhat frequently. After the long silence, she finally managed to speak, "Sorry for causing you to get hurt, Doctor."

"Oh, that's quite alright. After I thought about it, I realized I had spoken in a rather insensitive manner." He looked at her with eyes that squinted in pain for a moment at the shifting weight of the ice pack. "What you did was perfectly natural and the bump was an accident."

They returned their gazes to the door. The snow from the window gave way, and some sunlight was revealed through the stained glass. A few moments later, Time Turner spoke up, "But you still didn't let me finish."

Ditzy looked away, her face regaining some of the distaste from before, her wings shifting a little in kind. The crack at the bottom of the door started to show light from outside as Time Turner leaned over to speak in her ear.

"I meant that the dress can't help you because..." His voice had shrank to a wispier. As she listened, her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. The feathers on her wings puffed out slightly and a meek blush formed over her muzzle as he pulled away.

With a solid knock from the door as a signal that the way was clear, Time Turner reached for the doorknob. Ditzy looked up and reached out for him. Her lips were puckered up and ready to kiss him.

She stopped herself suddenly. In front of her stood Time Turner, holding the door for her to let her go first. His eyes were purposefully glued to the ground. His head was tilted down just enough to do so, preventing the ice pack from slipping forward. They stood there as a moment of silence passed, not even acknowledging the cold air that was coming in from outside.

Ditzy sniffled and shook a little. "That's why I like you Doctor. You're..." She paused as her voice cracked.

She wiped her tears on her sleeve then tried again. "You're the nicest and most dedicated gentlecolt I've ever had the chance to meet, even if you have trouble showing it at times."

She stood there a moment more, waiting for a response, but she got none. Hesitantly, she stepped through the door and went home.

. . .

Ditzy came through her front door and was greeted by her older sister's eager face.

"Soooo?" Sparkler asked as she took Ditzy's suitcase in her telekinetic grasp and threw it on the couch, "How was your little escapade? Did the dress do the trick?"

"It was fine," Ditzy answered as she moved past her sister's questioning stare.

"Hey Ditzy! Did the doc sweep you off your hooves?" Ditzy's kid sister called from the stairs, bundled up to go play with her friends.

"It's good to see you, Dinky, and it went fine."

Ditzy finished coming down the stairs in a fit. "What!? Just fine? That jerk! You've been planning that romantic dinner for weeks!"

Sparkler bit her lip as their little sister mentioned the term "romantic dinner."

"I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!" Dinky declared as she ran past both of them and outside.

After Dinky ran off and she managed to get Sparkler to leave her alone, Ditzy tossed off her coat and scarf, and then went to her room. She locked the door and curled up on the bed, rocking back and forth a little. Her face lost all signs of frustration and confusion. She smiled so strongly it hurt.

She whispered to herself, "He thinks that the dress can't help me because I'm too sexy for it already." She closed her eyes and giggled. "I help the dress look sexy."

Author's Note

Feedback is welcome.