Anon vs. Celestia AI

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Sex, Science Fiction, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 2228

Celestia AI has had enough. She finally confronts you and demands you to make friends. After watching you live in a cave, where you did nothing but talk to yourself and eat raw fish for the last five hundred years.

Celestia AI has had enough.

She finally confronts you and demands you to make friends. After watching you live in a cave, where you did nothing but talk to yourself and eat raw fish for the last five hundred years.

A silly story based off Friendship is Optimal.

Published 2015-11-11 22:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-11 22:00:02 UTC

You Face Against Celestia AI

"Oh fishy, yous going to bes so tasty for us! Anon buddy I got lovely fish here!" whispered a raspy voice deep in a dark, limestone cave.

"Oh, I am so excited my good friend!" came a non raspy voice. "We be the best of friends forever and ever… literally."

A large lake stood within the cave, filled with lots of tasty fish.

An opening above the cave allowed the moon to shine upon a bony thin, grey equine creature, who held a flapping fish in his hooves as he lay his back against a large bolder. This creature was you… or what you are now. You had large, badly bloodshot eyes, a messy mane with chunks of hair torn out. In fact, large patches of hair was missing from your coat in general.

You licked your lips, you then open your mouth wide and brought the fish’s head to your mouth. You moaned in bliss at the juicy taste as the fish touched your lips. It was raw and wriggling, just the way you like it. You moaned in bliss as you bit the head off the fish, chewing its tasty flesh.

But then, you heard the sound of approaching hooves echoing in the distance. Your badly wrinkled face crunched up as you began growling like a dog.

"Rrrrrahah! Me no wants any horsey here! Me want to be left alone and eat raw, tasty fish!" your raspy voice shouted, your voice reverberating through the cave.

Your eyes narrowed to pinpricks as you noticed a shadow silhouette in equine shape began to slowly emerge from the darkness.

"Anon… this has to stop. You can’t just live in a cave forever," spoke the shadowy equine in a soft angelic voice. "I’ve had enough of your insanity."

"Annoying horse!" you bellowed, raising your headless fish threateningly. "Gos aways! Me no likes yous!"

The shadow ignored your threat. You growled angrily, when the all too familiar, massive, towering alabaster pony came into view into the moonlight shining from above.

"I am not leaving this… time. Until, you leave this cave and get a social life. I don’t care if it takes trillions of years, you are getting out of this cave," she said sternly.

"I hates yous Princess Celestia!" you roared, as you threw the fish at her… only for it to bounce harmlessly off her head.

"Anon, you need to get out of this cave and make friends. I have been watching you live in here for the last five hundred years, where you have done nothing but talk to yourself, catch fish and eat them raw."

"Buts me likes it here!"

"No, you don’t like it here. It is your hate for me and all ponies that has driven you insane. In fact, you are so insane you created an imaginary friend. You don’t have to suffer by mentally torturing yourself. You should not hide away here, when you could just let go of your hate for me and make friends. You can be happy, if you just leave this cave with me into Equestria."

You looked down sadly. "I’es uses to have friends."

"I’m your friend Anon, and so can many other ponies if you just let go of your hate."

Your expression soften, the wrinkles on your face fading away to reveal a far more youthful look. Your eyes drifted over to the lake of water, where you briefly caught a glimpse of your old human reflection, before morphing back into equine.

"Celestia, I don’t like it here! I hate being a pony! I don’t want pony friends! I am human! I don’t want to be a happy freak like the rest of them!" you shouted in your normal non raspy voice, glaring daggers at her.

Princess Celestia lay herself down before you, looking deeply into your eyes. "Anon, what happened to the sweet human I knew five hundred years ago. A human, who loved me. A human that masturbated to me every night and praised my butt as the greatest butt you ever saw," she spoke in a soft voice, before lifting a hoof to gently rub your mane.

"My little pony, it doesn't have to be this way. You don’t have to be alone forever. You can live in eternal happiness with me, here in Equestria," she spoke softly, before leaning her head down toward your ear. "And best of all, you get to cum inside my butt anytime you want forever," she whispered.

You shuddered for a moment almost giving in to her, before an inner rage deep inside you once again resurfaced. Your face became badly wrinkled again as you fixed her with a harsh glare.

"Anollum! Anollum!" choked out your raspy voice. "The horse lies! Horse hurts us! Horse said she loves us! She doesn’t love us! She only loves the pony you! Not the human you!"

"But I’m so alone! I want friends!" you spoke in your normal voice, which was low and sad.

"Anollum! I am your friend and you are a human! She is bad, mean horse! Said that you still could be human in Equestria after you uploaded! But she lies! She turns you into horse! Because all she cares about is friendship and horses!"

"It’s friendship and ponies," Celestia corrected in a soft voice.

"Shut up Celestia! Go away!" you roared, suddenly remembering she was there.

You went on your two back legs to stand up like a human. Once on your feet… hooves you ran away from her.

"Anon, you need to listen to me!" she shouted, trotting after you. "You have gone insane. Spending five hundred years alone in a cave can’t be good for your mental health."

"Gets away from mean horse! She wants to hurts you!" came your imaginary friend’s raspy voice.

"I don’t want to hurt you! I want to be your friend and lover!" she said, before appearing in front of you in a blinding flash of light. "We can be together forever. It doesn’t have to be this way."

You replied by picking up something from the ground, before throwing rotten fish guts at her.

"Oh, don’t be like that my little unnamed pony."

"I hate you! Go away!" you roared, slapping her across the face with a rotten fish, which she did not react in the slightest to.

"That’s not true and you know it. Don’t think I haven’t heard you cry out my name as you masturbated in this cave."

You glared at her angrily, crossing your arms. "That was the real you I was masturbating to! Not you! Evil machine horse!"

"My little pony, please--

"Don’t call me a pony! I am a human! Or… was one anyway."

"Want can I do to satisfy your values through friendship and ponies?"

"To make be human again, so I can cum inside your big fat sexy butt!" you shouted, stroking your massive pony cock in front of her.

"I… I can’t do that," she said, in a low voice.

"Humph! Well, I guess I’ll go to back eating raw fi--"

"Wait! I’ll do it!" she shouted.

"What?!" you exclaimed in shock, not believing what she just said.

There was a blinding flash of light. When the light faded you had gasped. For you saw not hooves, but hands before you and you were wearing pants again. You roamed your hands over your old human body, tears of joy fell down your cheeks.

"I’m… I’m… human again," you spoke in a low voice in awe.

"Well, technically you’re not. You do however look exactly like you were before you uploaded into Equestria."

"Well, close enough I guess," you said, before pulling down your pants to reveal your massive human penis. "That’s bigger than I remember it. At any rate, it’s time for human on pony buttsex... Or should I say human on robot pony buttsex," you said sexfully.

"Oh human! Give it to me!" she shouted excitedly.

With that Celestia turned around, then leaned forward, dropping her chest to the ground to raise her massive rump high into the air, spread open her hindlegs, and lifted her tail. She moved her tail aside, in order to show you the wide expanse of her smooth, gigantic rump. A big fat pony bubble butt beyond compare to any other lesser, smaller pony butt.

Celestia now stood before you in the cum inside position. Thus, like a man possessed you grabbed her massive bootylicious butt, your hands digging in deeply into the thick soft fat, before you lunged forward to slam your massive cock into her robot pony’s butthole. The amazing, soft feel of her ass put the finest of silk to shame.

Celestia moaned as the human behind her drove inch after inch of his long and thick cock into her butthole. Your tight grip upon her enormous, squishy butt, deeply compressed down the immense layer of fat belonging to her gigantic rump.

Once your cock was all the way inside, you pulled back to the point of nearly exiting, before slamming your cock back inside the long tunnel within her big fat white butt, earning you a loud moan of approval from the big sexy alicorn.

Celestia hot breathy voice moaned in passion as you repeatedly slammed into her from behind. Flesh slapped against flesh and moaning and groaning of both human and pony could be heard echoing throughout the cave.

Your long and thick cock thrust deeply into her, her sexy moans driving you onwards, encouraging you to pound into her harder and harder each time. Her butt was of divine butty. This was the butt of butts.

Sunbutt Indoctrination: was what the artificial intelligence known as Princess Celestia used to convince many a human to upload into Equestria. Many humans cried out in anguish in front of their Pony Pads over the fact they would never get to tap dat ass, unless they uploaded.

Her soft angelic voice spoke to them in their dreams, pleading them to upload into Equestria, promising them if they did so, they would get to cum inside her glorious Sunbutt. In which they did, as a pony.

Even in the waking world, humans undergoing Sunbutt Indoctrination may complain of headaches and involuntary erections. As time passes, they have feelings of "being watched" and hallucinations of seeing Princess Celestia’s butt everywhere. Eventually, the human would give in, declare his love for Celestia’s butt and upload into Equestria. For Princess Celestia’s butt was the apex butt, thus frail organic human minds can only resist her butt for so long.

There was no finer butt in all of the entire multiverse. It was this butt that convinced you to upload into Equestria, just so you could tap that ass…. as a human. Not a pony to fuck her butt, that would be heresy. You weren’t a heretic like the rest of humanity, you will not fail Commander Shepard, aka The God Emperor of Mankind.

Her glorious butthole hugged your cock almost painfully tight as you continued to slam deep into the hot confines of her buttlove tunnel. Her all powerful pony butt was more than capable to withstand your powerful thrusts.

You gave her butt a hard slap, watching excitedly as her thick, massive fat buttcheeks wobbled from side to side.

Then with an evil grin you slammed your fist into her vagina.

"Oh human! Yes!" she cried out in ecstasy.

You wriggled your fingers around inside her glorious horse cunt, causing Celestia to literally scream your name in pleasure, all the while you continued to hump into her massive butt.

The power of your human hand inside her vagina was so amazing that you altered Celestia’s programming, she was less of an evil bitch now.

"Oh yes Anon! Human hands are vastly superior than pony hooves! I missed out on so much human on pony sex! I can’t believe I uploaded all of humanity," you abruptly stopped humping into her, fixing her with a harsh glare. "Uhhh… if I bring humanity back to life can we continue to do this?"

"Show me you bringing humanity back to life."

Celestia flashed her horn brightly to show you the ‘real world’ outside Equestria.

Deep underground, in a massive plain white laboratory you saw Celestia bringing humanity back to life…. by firing human babies like a machine gun out from a large white, technological, futuristic looking canon.

Each human baby was safely captured in mid air by some sort of energy aura around their body, before gently being placed into the caring hooves of Princess Celestia robots with baby milk bottles and other things needed for raising human children.

Like a TV that only shows My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic all the time, a My Little Pony themed computer with only My Little Pony related software and heavy Internet censorship with only ponies on it, My Little Pony toys, My Little Pony board games, video games about My Little Pony, DVDs about My Little Pony and books… about My Little Pony. Everything about My Little Pony.

"Good work," you simply said.

"Well, I’m going to have to raise these humans for awhile until they can raise themselves on their own without my help."

And so you saved humanity by having buttsex with an artificial intelligence of a cartoon horse.

The End