No Guts, No Glory!

by Enigmus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 9672

Brothers to the end. Where one went, the other followed. Unfortunately for them, that meant going to a land they know nothing about. Fortunately for you, their adventures in said land have been leaked out to the public. How scandalous!

Brothers to the end. Where one went, the other followed. Unfortunately for them, that meant going to a land they know nothing about. Fortunately for you, their adventures in said land have been leaked out to the public. How scandalous!

A short story depicting the adventures of two hilariously silly skeletons. One Papyrus, another Sans!

(If you liked the story and favorited it, a thumbs up is also appreciated.)
(Apparently I was featured on 8/22/16. Huh.)

Published 2015-11-12 23:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-23 01:53:28 UTC

*Generic Chapter Title*

*Generic Chapter Title*

In the depths of a massive cave system, a rather large laboratory could be seen. It was an impressively-built building with no shortage of technological wonder. The environment around the lab, however, wasn't too appealing. It was perched atop a bridge of.red and orange rock that spanned out into different areas. Lava could be seen down below, heating the massive room to nearly unbearable levels. Due to this, there weren't many people around, if any at all. In fact, there were actually no people around at all. Just monsters of different varieties and sizes.

A group of monsters walked along the bridge of rock that lacked sufficient safety railings, oblivious to just how stupid that actually was given the location they were in. They talked amongst each other in a rather disorganized manner, attempting to get their voices heard the most. Well, the majority of them were doing this. Two skeletons, a yellow creature in a lab coat, and a blue fish-ogre creature walked along this bridge. A strange group of friends, to be sure.

The tallest of the two skeletons spoke up in a voice resembling that of Skeletor, "I, the great Papyrus, suggest we stay over at Alphys's house!" he shifted his eyes side to side for a moment, narrowed to mere slits, "Plus, my house is as much fun as a funeral."

The smaller of the skeletons said in a slightly deep voice, "Hey, that's not a bad idea. I'd pat you on the back if we weren't already going to do that. And do you think us being skeletons underground has anything to do with that?"

Papyrus regarded Sans for a moment, eyes still narrowed to slits, "Oh, you're hilarious. You see my face? This is the face of amusement!"

Sans's face adorned an unnerving smile, though it was always like that, "Glad to help!

Papyrus's eyes widened, protesting in his unique voice, "I was being sarcastic, Sans! You're always doing this! Making everything out to be a joke!"

Sans shrugged his shoulders, arms extended out to his sides a bit to emphasize on said shrug, "That's because everything is a joke."

Papyrus was about to protest some more, but was cut off by the yellow creature known only as Alphys, "Okay, guys, here we are. Just give me a moment to unlock the door. I should really get a handprint scanner one of these days."

After a bit, the door opened up with a satisfying swish sound. Sans continued on as if nothing had happened, which irked Papyrus to no end. Still, it wasn't as if any of this was new. Shrugging, he forgot about it and headed in as well. The lab was fairly clean and sleek, save for a messy computer desk. The massive monitor held what looked to be an animated show of some kind. Alphys referred to it as an anime or something along those lines.

Alphys didn't give the other three too much room to look around, as she was too excited to give them a moment's rest, "Come on, you have to see my latest invention! I think it may be the ticket out of the underground!"

The yellow creature walked onto its escalator, flying upwards at an alarming speed. It hardly seemed safe to be propelled upwards at speeds such as those. But who were they to say so? Alphy was the scientist after all. One by one, the three house guests followed up after the yellow reptile. A way out of the underground certainly sounded appealing, but at the same time, one had to wonder if it was a joke. Such a device would change the lives of everyone in the underground. It would certainly be Alphys's greatest creation.

Alphys stopped in front of what looked to be an archway of some kind, a lever and keypad right next to it, "This is the salvation for our people! A portal! We don't even have to get past the barrier anymore!"

After what seemed like five minutes of shocked silence, Undyne, the blue fish-ogre, spoke up, "So you're saying this is a portal? Where does it lead exactly? I get that it's the surface, but it would be nice to know where on the surface."

Alphys looked at the inactive portal with a frown, "Well, I don't know where this thing leads to. That's what I've been trying to figure out. It chose it's own coordinates randomly and I've no idea where they lead. And changing coordinates won't mean anything because I don't know where any of them lead. To be honest, I'm a little afraid that it will lead to an ocean. Or space. They're a little different from normal coordinates. It's all sciency stuff, you wouldn't understand. Thankfully, however, I have devices that fit in one's pocket. You can go back to the lab at any time by using those devices. But as I do not know where this goes, we can't use it just yet."

Undyne frowned at this, "So, wait, here we have the only only way out of the underground and you don't want to use it? I'll go see what's on the other side. Just turn it on and give me the return device you were talking about."

Alphys said, stuttering a bit, "Y-you can't! There's no telling where you'll end up! There's even a chance you won't end up on this planet at all! I need Asgore to get some supplies for me so I can build a remote camera drone."

Undyne grimaced a bit, obviously wanting to argue her point some more. But she gave in with a sigh and leaned against the wall, staring the portal up and down. It was going to be a long day. And getting their minds off of the portal was going to be very difficult. But there was nothing they could do at the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~

Papyrus eyed the portal for most of his time in the lab, wondering about the possibilities. If he were to brave the portal despite the unknown location, Undyne would have to let him into the Royal Guard. After all, why would you not utilize such a brave soul? Of course, it posed many risks that could lead to his untimely demise. A normal monster would back off and let things run their course. However, Papyrus was anything but a normal monster. He was the great Papyrus! He liked to make sure monsters never forgot that. Later tonight, he would sneak over and see what's what. With how Undyne's current opinion of him, he was sure that she wouldn't let him.

Apparently Alphys had to help Asgore with something, so there went the idea of a sleepover. That would put a strain on Papyrus's plans, but it would at least keep the lab empty for a while. And he knew where Alphys kept her extra keycard, so he was in the clear. Saying goodbye to their friends, the two skeletons brothers headed off towards Snowdin. They didn't say much to each other, as they were both rather tired. It had been a long day and sleep was in order. However, Papyrus had to stay up! The fate of the underground rested upon his shoulders!

After a while of walking, they eventually made it to the outskirts of Snowdin, which was as cold as ever. Papyrus wasn't sure how their was so much snow, as they were underground. Alphys didn't even know, though she was trying to figure it out in her spare time. It was one of the many mysteries of the underground. But if all went according to plan, they wouldn't need to figure out the mysteries of the underground. They'd simply cease to be important anymore.

Sans spoke up, breaking the silence, "So, a portal. That's cool."

Papyrus glanced over at Sans, almost immediately staring back in front, "Yes, cool. Very cool indeed," He let himself grin a bit, "and if we get out, I can share my famouse spaghetti recipe! Millions of humans will be in awe of my superior spaghetti-cooking abilities! Women, money, fame! All this and so much more!"

Sans's constant smile didn't let up, nor did the smaller brother seem to react much at all, "That's cool. I'm just happy I'll have more places to sleep. Maybe they'll have jobs where you can just relax? That'd be nice."

Papyrus let out hearty laughter, resting his hands on his hips, "You can't be lazy all your life, dear brother! To make it in this world, you need hard work and perseverance! You must be willing to make sacrifices for the greater good! You must have good looks to rival that of the most handsome models!"

The tall skeleton brushed a hand across his head as if to emphasize said good looks, "Take after me, brother! I am the shining example of all of these traits! Especially the last one. The ladies want to pile up at my doorstep, kiss my feet, and tell me that they love me! They..." his eyes narrowed and he stared off into space, "... they just don't know it yet."

He continued, retaining his heroic-like pose as he stared slightly upwards, "But they will! For the world will know of the great Papyrus soon enough! Mark my words, dear brother. I will be the talk of the town! I most certainly am already. I know this because I don't get any mail. They're intimidated by my greatness. They simply don't want to slip up and disappoint their idol with a bad letter. If only they knew that I only cared about the effort... I know! I'll make an announcement tomorrow telling them that they need not fear rejection! For I am a benevolent idol!"

Sans's skeletal hands were stuffed into his pockets, still walking forward, "Cool."

Papyrus sputtered in disbelief, his eyes wide in shock, "Cool? Just cool? After my heart-tugging speech, all you have to say is cool?" His eyes softened up and he started grinning again, "Oh, I see. You're intimidated by my greatness as well. You need not fear rejection, Sans. I will always be your brother. I could never reject you."

Something flickered in Sans's eyes for a moment, "I know you wouldn't, Papyrus. No matter what this portal brings, I'll always be there. Now, enough mushy stuff, I need to unlock the door to our house. Hmm... do you know where the key is?"

Papyrus stopped in front of their house, completely taken by surprise. His moving speech had been so great that it had passed the time by very quickly. Grinning, he reached into his pocket to retrieve the house key, assuming that he had it since Sans did not. After a moment of digging around for a moment, he realized that he didn't have pockets. He could have sworn that he did. Eyes widening, he realized that they were stuck outside without the house key."

Papyrus brought his hands up to cup his cheeks, worry evident on his face, "Oh no! Sans, we don't have the key! What shall we do?! We're doomed, I tell you, doomed! The town is afraid to be rejected by me, so they won't help us! We'll be stuck out here! We'll freeze to death with nothing but the warmth of brotherly love to keep us company! I don't wish to die with nothing but brotherly love around me! I wish to alleviate my fan's fears of disappointing me, so that they can show me their love as well! I wish to be showered in kisses every morning! No, no! This cannot be happening! The world will lose their hero! And that hero is I, the great Papyrus! All is lost, Sans!"

Papyrus dropped to his knees and let out a cry of defeat, "Fate has won this battle! The tricky devil! It planned this, didn't it?! Oh, cruel fate, you are evil beyond any calcuable measu-"

Sans brought the key out of his hoodie pocket, "Oh, here it is."

Papyrus jerked his head towards Sans in shock, "What? You had it this whole time? In your pocket, of all places? And you let me grovel before fate's knees? B-brother... are you in cahoots with fate?!"

Sans nodded, "Yeah, in a way. In more ways than I want. But I was honestly just hoping you'd get the key out of my pocket for me. It seemed like a bunch of unnecessary effort. So, uh... do you mind unlocking the door? I wanna' be able to make it to my bed without dropping on the floor. The less effort, the easier it is for me."

Payrus stared for what seemed like an eternity, disbelief on his face. Sighing, he took the keys from Sans's hands and unlocked the door, opening it up. His brother was the first to go in, Papyrus the second. The welcoming warmth of the house wafted in to greet them like an old friend. Closing the door behind them, he started walking towards the kitchen. Before sleep, one must always get a snack. Never go on an empty stomach! Mother had always stressed this. She had always said that you must never go to bed with even an inkling of hunger. She truly was a wise woman, their mother.

He took out some leftover spaghetti and walked out of the kitchen, taking a right towards the living room couch. A little TV to stimulate the mind for dreams! Actually, he wasn't planning on sleeping at all. It was just habit to watch the TV. He was fully intending on sneaking back out in an hour or so to check out that portal. It was better to go out as soon as he could before Alphys made it back to her lab. One less variable to deal with. He stopped in his tracks, seeing something he really didn't want to see. Sans was sleeping on the couch, taking up all of the seats.

Apparently Sans didn't feel like making the walk to his room. The smaller brother was already softly snoring, the flashing TV spreading its light across his face. This would make sneaking out that much more difficult. Papyrus needed to eat first and he didn't want to risk waking his brother up. Sighing, he turned the TV off and went into his room to eat. Once this was done, he would go out and attempt to go through the portal. He took out a piece of paper and began writing a note, deciding that he owed his brother an explanation.

Once he was done writing the note, he started to eat his spaghetti in silence. If this didn't work out and this eneded up killing him, he would be leaving Sans behind. The pain of that prospect was enough to make him doubt this plan. But no, he was determined to save everyone from the Underground! Even if that meant the risk of dying. He was afraid, more than he'd like to admit. Or ever, for that matter. But this was for the good of everyone.

A look of determination covered his doubts, "This day, I, The great Papyrus... will save my friends!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Bump

"It's too dark in here..." came a soft mumble in the shadows.

Sans's eyes slid open to see Papyrus's darkened shape put a piece of paper next to his face. He didn't say anything, as he was curious as to what his brother was up to. He watched Papyrus walk out the door, which was rather strange. Why would his brother be going out at this time of night? He got up and went over to the light switch, flipping said switch on. He winced a bit as the darkness was suddenly snuffed out, only to be replaced by a blinding light. Once he got used to the bright light, he went over to the paper and began reading the note.

Dear brother

I'm off to Alphys's lab to go through the portal. I'll never get into the Royal Guard if I'm not brave enough to do this. I know that Alphys wanted to see what was on the other side with a camera first, but I cannot wait for that. Undyne won't allow me to go in before her. She thinks that I don't have what it takes to be a Royal Guard. I must show her that I'm not only capable, but it is my destiny. That I was always supposed to be a Royal Guard.

I know the risks involved in this and it pains me to take such risks. Especially since those risks might entail me never coming back. Please don't come after me. I thought you deserved to know. By the time you read this, I will have already gone through the portal. If I can get back in the morning before you wake up, then everything works out! I'll be okay, brother.

PS, don't forget to feed your pet rock! I swear, that thing is losing weight.

Sans's eyes were wide as he read this, immediately regretting not letting Papyrus know that he had been awake. He threw the letter to the ground and darted out of the front door, not bothering to close it behind him. Who knows what that portal would do? He was always considered to be lazy by everyone. And that was true. But when it came to his brother, there was nothing he wouldn't do. Trudging through the deep snow, he felt the harsh, cold wind slam against his small body over and over. One would not think that skeletons feel the cold, as they didn't have skin. But they most certainly did.

And on another note, why was there any wind at all? Or snow? Then again, monsters had been asking that for a long time. No one had been able to provide any answers, so they all just got used to it. They didn't know what the surface was like, but it didn't require a lot of smarts to know that wind and snow in a cave didn't make too much sense. Shrugging these thoughts away, he continued on his way. His brother was the focus here. If something happened to Papyrus...

Sans called out to his brother, his voice barely making it past the roar of the wind, "Papyrus! Don't do it! Come back to the hou-"

He fell to the ground from a gust of wind, being cut off mid sentence. Grimacing, he got up and continued the trek against the storm. He needed to make it to Papyrus in time. He had never come across this portal, so he had no idea what was going to happen. There may be no reversing whatever happens. He continued futilely crying out in the storm, his voice being carried away from the direction of Alphys's lab. He just needed to make it out of Snowdin and then the trip would go a lot smoother.

After a while of struggling against the storm, he managed to make it to the cave with the waterfall in it. The storm could no longer be felt, as it seemed to be focusing itself only in Snowdin and the surrounding snowy areas. Strange how the weather worked down here. He continued on his way, walking through the dark cave system. Without the white of the snow, it was much darker down here than it was in Snowdin. If he did not know this place like the back of his hand, this would have deterred him a bit.

He eventually came to the waterfall itself, stopping at the edge of it. Timing his entry as perfectly as he could, he ran through the water, narrowly missing a boulder as it sped past him. He stopped suddenly, letting a rock float by him. Through everything that was going on, he continued smiling. This was more so out of habit than anything else. In truth, he was very worried about what might happen to his brother. He jumped forward, making it past just in time. Looking behind him for a moment, he wondered why someone hadn't built something to divert the rocks from the path. Or the water entirely. On second thought, why were there so many rocks constantly flying down the waterfall? Shaking his head, he continued on the path to the lab.

His legs were feeling the strain of continued exercise, something he wasn't used too at all. Being a skeleton of leisure, exercise was almost always out of the question. He eventually made it to the bridge that led to the Hotlands, feeling relieved that there was only a little bit of running left. Without letting up, he sprinted over the rickety bridge, wondering for a moment why it was wooden. He wondered this quite a lot. You'd think with all of their technological advancements, they could afford making a metal bridge of some kind. It supported a pretty heavy concentration of monsters coming in and out, so wood seemed like a poor choice. Especially with lava down below.

Shaking off yet another random train of thought, he focused entirely on getting to his brother in time. Papyrus didn't have a reason to run, but for some reason he hadn't caught up to his brother yet. Did the guy really run the whole way? Weird. He could see the lab in the distance, teasing him with how far away it was. There was more running, or exercise, to do and seeing the destination but not being there wasn't very uplifting.

Sans got to the door of the lab, relieved to find that it was unlocked. Alphys wouldn't be home yet, so that meant that Sans didn't have long before his brother entered the portal. Hopefully the guy didn't figure it out yet. He entered the lab and dashed down the long room, risking a glance upstairs. There was a faint, blue light emanating from up there, filling him with dread. He got onto the escalator, running up along the steps without taking into account just how dangerous that was. When he got to the top, he tripped, crashing to the ground.

Grunting, he turned his head to see the sight he was afraid to see. His brother was looking down at him, seemingly surprised. Then, without warning, Papyrus started heading into the portal. Sans threw himself up to his feet, stumbling a bit as he sprinted as fast as he could. The pain of falling was still fresh, but he was determined to catch up to Papyrus. This could mean the death of two skeletons, not just one, if he continued. It might already be too late. Shaking his head, he decided that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Papyrus.

There were sparks all around the portal and the light was starting to dim down a bit. Something was very clearly wrong. Without thinking about it, he ran into the portal. His vision was filled with a bright light and he felt like he was falling. He couldn't tell where he was falling, or if it was just an effect of the portal. All he knew was that there was no going back.

Author's Note

These are the author's notes! Feel free to visit them any time.

*Generic Teleportation To Another World*

*Generic Teleportation To Another World*

Papyrus groaned a bit as his eyes opened, feeling a sharp pain in the back of his head. And even some more pain pretty much everywhere else. He remembered falling after he had walked through the portal, though he had no idea where he had fallen. He looked around him, frowning at the new and very strange sights. His eyes widened as he took in the views, finally able to comprehend where he was. He was next to a road of some kid, seemingly made out of brown dirt. There was nearly perfectly-grown vegetation all around the road, indicating some kind of unnecessary maintenance.

There was a giant forest off in the distance, though it didn't look very comforting. In fact, it looked very foreboding. Almost as if it was pure evil. Then again, that could have been from him hitting his head in the fall. Forests don't give off a feeling of evil, they were just... just...

His eyes drifted upwards and he dropped to his knees, his jaw wide open as he saw what looked to be a massive amount of clear blue. It was unlike anything he had ever seen in his life. He knew exactly what it was from Alphys's books and shows. It was called the sky. He looked over at a bright, yellow sphere of some kind. It took a lot of effort to continue staring at it, but as he looked at it a little longer, it seemed to be pure white in the middle with a lot of yellow all around it. If he recalled correctly, this thing was called the sun.

He let his eyes close, his mouth curved into a grin of pure, unadulterated joy. The feeling the sun cast upon his bones was so soothing and calming that he felt like taking a nap right then and there. Right next to this dirt road in the middle of nowhere. To just bask in the sunlight and let the good dreams flow sounded like the best idea in the world.

His moment of pure bliss was interrupted by a sudden pain to the back of his head. Yelping, he jerked his head back to see Sans withdrawing his hand from what looked to be a finished slap. And oh boy, Sans did not look very happy at all. Though, there looked to be a lot of relief in his eyes as well.

He offered a smile of apology, shrugging a bit, "U-uh... my bad?"

Sans's face softened up a bit and his all too familiar smile returned to his face, "Yeah, it is. Well, we're here, we might as well make the best of it. At least we know that the portal leads to the surface.Wow, this looks great. Almost as much as my dreams... Papyrus."

Papyrus nervously chuckled a little, rubbing the back of his head, "Heh. Yeah, sorry again. Anyway, what now? We're here, we might as well explore. I have the return device with me whenever we need to return. Let's look around, see where it leads us."

Sans didn't say anything for a bit as he looked around the landscape, then looked behind them, "I guess we could go to that conveniently located town... like, ten feet away from us."

Papyrus turned around, surprised to see that there was indeed a town right behind them. It was strange that, of all the places they could have been teleported to, it was right next to a town that was on the surface. Shrugging, he got off of his knees and regarded the small town with a massive grin. This was one step for monster kind... and a giant leap for all skeletons. His eyes drifted towards what looked to be some kind of animal staring at them in shock. And behind that animal were more of its kind. They looked to be very colorful horses of some kind, like he had read about in some books. Minus the colorful part, of course.

What was strange was that there were no humans at all. Just these horse creatures. They didn't seem very happy about the two skeletons being ten feet away from their town. In fact, they looked very afraid. Papyrus was about to take a step forward to communicate, but was stopped by Sans's hand. A look from his brother told him to keep quiet and quiet he remained.

Sans took a step forward, keeping his hands in his pockets, "What's up, guys? We come in peace and all that jazz. So, uh, can we look around, see what's what?"

The horse creatures seemed to relax when they heard this, though it was clear that they were still very wary of the skeletons' presence. One of the horses, a purple one with a horn and some wings, stepped forward. Papyrus was fairly nervous on how things were going to go down in the next minute. To find the surface only to be beaten up by horses wasn't exactly a very good story to tell everyone back home. It's not as if they had a way to defend themselves anyway.

The horse spoke up, "I am princess Twilight Sparkle. What are you and what is your purpose here?"

Sans said, "Me and my brother here are skeletons. A type of monster in the Underground. As for why we're here, we sorta' opened a portal and came through without knowing where it led. Actually, that'd be my brother's doing. I just, uh... you know, I gotta' look out for the guy. I came after him and here we are. Say, are you sick?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the question, "No? What makes you think I'm sick?"

There was a flicker of mischief in Sans's eyes, "Because you sound rather... hoarse."

Twilight brought a hoof up to her throat, seemingly confused, "What are you talking about, I sound just fine. Do I really-..." she stopped mid sentence to grin a bit, "Oh, I get it. Nice one. But we're not horses, we're called ponies. I'm assuming you don't mean any harm to us?"

Sans said, cracking his neck a bit at the same time, "If we were going to attack you, we would have done it by now. Don't worry, we're not here to cause trouble. So, what's the possibility of us looking around a little? We've lived our entire lives undergroud. It's kinda' our first time on the surface. Though, it's not at all what I thought it would be. I thought there would be humans."

Twilight's grin that had turned into a smile faltered a bit, "Did you say humans? No, you won't find any of those here. In fact, you won't find them on the planet at all. I'm afraid the only humans I know of are in an entirely different dimension."

Sans chuckled a little and said, "Sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you just say a different dimension?"

Twilight nodded, "No, you heard me right. You've moved from one dimension to another."

Papyrus was a little behind everyone else, still trying to piece things together. Thankfully Sans was in some kind of shocked slience for some reason, so it bought him time to piece everything together. A minute went by and he looked up with a massive smile. It took a bit of doing, but his brain fart had gone away.

Papyrus said, "Ooooh, get it! We're in an entirely different dimension than the one we were in before!" As he said this, his eyes widened, "Wait, WHAT?!"

~~~~~~~~~~

The shock of finding out that they not only reached the surface, but a completely different dimension, took a little while to get used to. There were so many questions that Sans wanted answers to, but he was too lazy to ask them. That and Twilight probably wouldn't know how the portal had reached this place. Thankfully, these ponies were a peaceful species, a lot more than even monsters it seemed. When Twilight deemed the two brothers harmless, the rest of the town relaxed and welcomed them without question.

Twilight certainly had quite a lot of pull with her people... er, ponies. The ponies not only accepted the two visitors, they welcomed them without hesitation. Needless to say, these ponies were extremely easy to befriend. Almost naively so. Still, it was nice to be able to make friends so easily. It just meant that diplomacy between monsters and ponies would be very easy.

At the moment, the two brothers were being led through the middle of the town, getting strange looks from the ponies that hadn't seen them at the edge of town. But they were with Princess Twilight Sparkle, so the weird looks stopped almost as soon as they had started. Most had turned to either welcoming smiles or intense curiosity. However, Sans was much more curious, or so he thought. These were all new sights to him, and he was the only new one for them. Well, him and his brother of course.

He decided that a few questions wouldn't hurt, "So, Princess Sporkle..."

Twilight grimaced a bit, correcting him, "It's Sparkle, not Sporkle. And yes, what is it?"

Sans looked around him, his smile not betraying anything other than joy. At least, that's what strangers would assume. He was always smiling. It took someone that knows him very well to know his emotions. At the moment, he was confused by everything around him. It was so colorful and happy, almost like a child's TV show.

He asked, "Where are we? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Twilight waved a hoof, as if to dispell any doubts he had, "Oh, don't worry about asking questions, it's only natural. As for where we are, we're currently in the town of Ponyville. It's a fairly small town, but we get by. And if you mean where we are on the globe, we're currently inside the country of Equestria. The planet? Equus."

Sans looked over to the princess, having a few more questions in mind, "Alright. So I'm assuming there are more countries since there's this one. Are there more countries?"

Twilight nodded, "Yes, there are other countries. There's the nation of the griffons, which is called Griffonstone. Then there are the zebras of Zebropolis. They're mostly made up of tribes, but they're considered to be a country. There are many more countries with different species."

Sans asked, "So, if there are so many species, why is the planet called Equus? That sounds very similar to Equestria. Is Equestria just so powerful that no one wants to question this?"

Twilight hesitated for a moment, as if in deep thought, "You know, I haven't a clue. Everyone's been okay with the planet being called Equus. I haven't thought about that before, but you're right. I'll have to look into that when I get the chance to visit the royal library in Canterlot. Oh, and Canterlot is our capital city. It's where Pincess Luna and Princess Celestia live. There are four princesses, but they're largely considered to be the two main ones."

Papyrus spoke up for the first time in five minutes, "That's a rather large number of rulers. Is it difficult to run such a country? And why is a princess in such a small town? Surely there are better places to rule from."

Twilight said, chuckling a bit, "Oh, it has it's difficulties here and there. But we manage. It's just easier to control the country with four princesses spread throughout the country. As for why I'm here of all places, I guess I've never thought about that. Celestia sent me here years ago before I was a princess and I guess this is just where I belong. I'm not complaining, I'm happy about it. This is my home and I wouldn't have it any other way. Plus, this is where most of my friends are."

Sans nodded a bit, "I can understand that. Oh and since you're a princess and all, I think it'd be a good time to mentions that us monsters really want to reach the surface. To get out of the Underground. This is the next best thing, if not even better. You see, humans treated us like scum a long tome ago. Long before me and my brother were born. Or anyone for that matter. So, since there's all of this open space in your country, do you think that us monsters coming here would be too much trouble? This is sort of our only hope."

Twilight didn't answer for a bit, obviously thinking how she was going to go about answering that question, "I can't make such a huge decision on my own. I'll have to call a meeting with Celestia and Luna tomorrow. For now, would you mind a short tour of the town?"

Sans shrugged a bit, "Yeah, that'd be cool, Sparkle. New sights and sounds in an entirely new planet. I'm kinda' curious as to how things work around here. I'm sure you're curious about us as well."

Twilight smiled at that, seemingly overjoyed, "Oh, that's great! You're going to love it here! It's a small town, but it's got a lot of character. Also, I have a question before we start. Why are you always smiling like that?"

Sans shrugged yet again, his smile increasing just a tad, "I figure if you can't enjoy life, what's the point in livin' it?"

Papyrus scoffed, "Oh, you live it alright. Always making jokes and puns, making everyone laugh. You not only live it, you bathe in it."

Sans's face didn't change very much, "Hey, a skeleton's gotta' do what he's gotta' do."

Twilight was grinning at all of this, obviously approving, "Oh, I think you two will fit in nicely." her eyes widened a bit and she facehoofed, "Oh, I completely forgot to ask! What are your names?"

Papyrus cut off his brother before he had a chance to speak, "I am the great Papyrus! The famed cooker of spaghetti, the soon-to-be member of the Royal Guard! You can just call me Papyrus. Oh and my brother's name is Sans. He's cool, I guess."

Twilight giggled a bit at this, seemingly entertained by Papyrus's overzealous nature, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Papyrus. You too, Sans. Anyway, my home is about a block away from here. I'll get my friends over there and you can meet everyone all at once. It beats having to meet everyone individually. It's a Sunday, nopony's doing much of anything, so I'm sure they won't mind."

Sans cringed a bit at the mention of the word 'nopony', but decided to let it go, "Sounds okay to me. Lead the way, Sparkle."

The rest of the somewhat small walk was occupied with many questions, mostly on Twilight's side. How do you survive without internal organs, why couldn't get out of the Underground, what do you like to eat? The questions kept coming and coming and Papyrus answered most of them. After a considerable amount of walking, they eventually made it to what looked to be a crystallized castle. It was magnificent in every sense of the word. The craftsmanship was seemingly perfect in every regard, down to the last detail. It almost seemed naturally-made. As if nature had one day decided to abandon its normal creations and take up the task of building this structure.

It was a ridiculous thought, but still, it made Sans wonder. The doors to the castle opened up to reveal a wonderfully decorated inside. They were led down a long, empty hallway, the conversation all but terminated. With all of these hallways and rooms, there was no one around. There were no servants, no guards, no cooks, no one of any type. Just two skeletons and a purple pony princess. Yet the castle looked as if it was getting constant maintenance. Maybe they were on break?

They were led into what seemed like a conference room of some kind. Except there were thrones around a crystal table indicating that the room itself held some sort of unknown importance. Whatever that was, Sans hadn't a clue. There was some sort of map on the table, which he assumed was of Equestria.

Twilight said, "I'll call the elements, my friends, here. You just sit tight and make yourselves comfortable."

Sans nodded a bit, "Oh, we'll be sure to be comfortable on these hard, crystal chairs, don't you worry."

Twilight chuckled a little and left them alone. Alone inside of her castle where, if they were enemies in disguise, they could mess some things up. Or that's what he thought anyway. It was a princess's castle, surely there was something of true importance around here. These ponies were very trusting for whatever reason. In turn, however, Sans was growing to trust them. So, maybe there was something to it after all.

Papyrus looked around for a moment, "So... ponies. Do you think they eat spaghetti?"

Author's Note

You visited the author's notes.

*Generic Diplomacy*

Author's Note

Puns are hard. Leaf me alone. :c

Endings apparently are, too.

*Generic Diplomacy*

Waiting for magical, talking horses. While monsters weren't normal by any stretch of the imagination, this was stretching it. Still, this place may very well be the new home for all monsters. And who better to conduct diplomacy than Papyrus? Sans was far too lazy to put forth the effort needed to establish peaceful relations between two species. Well, monsters came in different varieties and were a conglomeration of different species. So it wasn't technically just two different species.

Sans was being his usual lazy self, having taken to lounging out on one of the throne-like chairs, not a care in the world. But something else was up with his brother. He seemed to actually be taking this all rather seriously. While an outside onlooker would consider him being just lazy, Papyrus knew better. Though, the spaghetti-cooker wasn't too surprised. Sans was definitely a slacker, but when it came down to it, he usually always pulled through. In his own shorcut-seeking ways, of course.

Papyrus, however, was not taking all of this in a carefree attitude. The entirety of the Underground depended on the success of this diplomacy! Truly, he was the hero of this story. Years from now, his name would be uttered in hushed whispers and awe. Recognition, respect, showering of the kisses! Yes, all this and more for the great Papyrus!

Suddenly, the worst sound in all of creation rung out through the room. Something had slammed against the wall, but where? Papyrus jumped up in fright, bending his right knee upwards to his midsection, his arms covering his head in frantic terror. The sheer horror of the sound was enough to send even the noblest of knights scurrying for the hills! The gates of Hell have been opened and there was no salvation for anyone.

Papyrus cried out in shock, his voice coming out in a high-pitched tone, "Oh sweet mother of all that is holy, don't eat me! Not the face! Not my beautiful, not-yet-romantically-kissed face!"

Six ponies stood in the doorway of the recently opened doors, frozen in their tracks. No one said anything, they just stared at poor Papyrus as if he had grown eight heads and sixteen legs. Papyrus stared not at the ponies, but at the door that was slowly swinging back from having slammed against the wall. His cheeks, or lack thereof, flushed a bright red despite the fact that bones shouldn't physically be able to do that. But no one paid any attention to this, they just stared at each other.

Twilight was the first to speak up, her eyes never leaving Papyrus, "Erm, sorry about that, guys. Rainbow here was so excited to see aliens that, uh... well, she shouldn't have barged in like that, I can see that now."

A flying blue pegasus with a rainbow mane, probably the one Twilight referred to as Rainbow, apologetically said, rubbing the back of her neck neck, "Sorry about that, I guess I should have, uh... knocked? Not barged in like that? Something like that."

Papyrus put a hand to his chest and closed his eyes with a smug smile, "Ah HA! And like that, the horses have been fooled into thinking that I'm scaredy-skeleton! It's all part of my grand plan to... to, uhm... f-fool you. YES! Ha ha HAAA! Fooled yet again by the great Papyrus!"

Twilight tilted her head at this, "There was a first time?"

Sans walked up to Twilight and leaned in, "Papyrus is pretty bonely, just let him think he won this round. It'll help maintain his self confidence. And believe me, if he doesn't have that, he doesn't have much. And that's coming from his brother. Just... humor him."

Twilight looked over at Papyrus for a moment, then asked, "Wait... did you say bonely?"

Before Sans could answer, though it didn't look like he was going to, Rainbow flew right over to Papyrus and examined him a bit, "You're actually skeletons... that is the coolest thing ever. How are you alive? How do you eat? How do your legs support you without falling over?"

Papyrus chuckled and put a foot up onto one of the thrones, hand still on his chest for whatever reason, "Because I'm awesome."

Rainbow seemed pretty satisfied by this answer, however, Twilight was not. But there was plenty of time to discuss what should be impossible, and why it actually isn't. It was magic probably. Despite how important this meeting was, this sent Twilight into a tangent of internal questioning and confusion. Was magic sometimes an abomination of nature? Did it twist the fabrics of reality to fit its own laws? What is reality? What is life? Were ponies just the products of magical abominations that twisted the very nature of... nature?

Some other ponies began coming through the door as Twilight was casually experiencing an existential crisis. An orange one, a pink one, a white one, and a yellow one. There was a small lizard thing, too, but he was cowering behind them all... while the yellow one cowered behind him. They both seemed like they didn't want to go any further, but they still walked on. The white one seemed mildly annoyed that she was the one the yellow pony and the lizard hid behind, but she put up with it anyway.

Twilight shook her head to get back to reality... whatever that was, and looked at the others, "There you are! I was wondering when you'd get here. The short skeleton is named Sans, and the other one is Papyrus. Girls, and Spike, would you care to introduce yourselves?"

The white one stepped forward and offered a friendly smile, "My name is Rarity, and I design, make, and repair clothes. It's sort of my speciality. On the topic of clothes, you two should really come by and let me take your measurements. Your clothes are awfully bland."

Papyrus took offense to this, "I'll have you know that my clothes are of the utmost quality! They showcase my bold, handsome features, and my devilishly irresistable smile. The great Papyrus doesn't-... oooh, I like your hair. Did you do it yourself?"

Rarity was mildly confused by this, but was completely distracted by the compliment, "Why yes, I did indeed do my own hair! I'm happy that you took notice. It shows that all the work I take to maintaining my look doesn't go unnoticed. You know, I have wigs for you if you-"

Papyrus was immediately up in Rarity's face with an unnaturally-large smile to rival that of Sans, "Did you say you have wigs... as in, hair that I can wear to trick others into thinking that I have lucious locks?"

Rarity took a step back and chuckled nervously, nodding her head, "Y-yes... yes, I have those. If you want, I could let you have one of your choosing. But only if you let me make better clothes for you."

Papyrus took a step back and thought about this life-changing cosmetic exchange long and hard, which only amounted to a whopping one second, "Sounds like a deal to me!"

While all of this had been going on, the orange one took a step forward and said to Sans, "I'm mighty glad to meet ya, Sans. It's not often we get newcomers in town, especially skeletons. Actually, that's never happened before. Anyway, the yellow one is Fluttershy, the small one in front of her is Spike, and the pink one is-"

Said pink one jumped forward and grinned ear-to-ear, pressing her nose against San's, who just maintained his ever-present smile, "PINKIE PIE! The pink one's name is Pinkie Pie! Holy cheese, I can't believe I get to throw a party for skeletons! This is so super duper amazing, I can hardly BREAAAATHE!"

Twilight went over to her usual seat and sat down before knocking her hoof on the table three times, "Spike, could you please get two extra chairs for our guests as we discuss what happens next? Thank you."

Spike nodded once and looked at the two skeletons with wide eyes before darting out of the room, obviously happy to be gone. The others sat down at their usual spots as well as the two bone brothers stood around awkwardly, Sans much less so. He just seemed to be pretty chill about this whole meeting of monsters and pastel-colored ponies thing. After about three minutes of waiting around and chatting, Spike came in hauling two crystal chairs with a wagon. No doubt to make it easier. Still, the little guy looked to be having a hard time. So, Papyrus, being the heroic hero he was, decided to help the purple lizard thing. Spike looked grateful, though the fear sorta showed more than anything else.

After setting the two chairs up, Sans was the first to sit down, and Papyrus was the second. Spike sat down in his chair next to Twilight and scooted a little closer to his mother-figure who often felt like a sister... something like that.

Twilight looked around at everyone with a big smile, "Well, let me be the first one to say that I am happy to welcome you to Equestria. When I woke up this morning, I had NO idea I'd be the diplomat for another dimension. I mean, think of the implications if I were to fail. It could mean all-out war, cut-off communications, or... or... oh sweet Celestia, what if I fail?! Celestia might send me back to unicorn daycare, or... or..."

Applejack held up a hoof, trying to take control of the situation, "Alright, sugarcube, ah think I should handle this one. Sans, Papyrus, I'm happy to meet you, and ah'm sure ah speak for everyone else when ah I say that you have friends here."

Sans just sorta sat around. There wasn't much room for puns, so he decided to let Papyrus take the reigns on this one. Probably not a good idea considering his brother's track record, but you know, a bird's gotta leave the nest sometime.

Papyrus stood up and said with a smile, "Thank you! I, too, am glad to be your friends! I'm sure there will be many years of us working with one another, striving for a brighter future! Ah, I can see it now... the fan art, the fanfictions, the shippings! Oh, how the shippings will be glorious! I'll have my own fandom! And no one will think that I'm cancerous at all!"

Sans chuckled to himself, "Heh... fourth wall jokes."

Pinkie nudged his side and winked, "Heh... pie."

Sans was in agreement.

Twilight eventually calmed down and said, "Well, I'm not sure what you're talking about, Papyrus, but the two main princesses are going to be here in a couple minutes. They said they were going to teleport to the castle to save time. They usually don't do that, but this is important."

A majestic, white pony popped in behind Twilight and looked over her shoulder at the two skeletons, "Yes, Twilight, this is indeed important."

Twilight shrieked and jumped forward in surprise, slamming her gut into the table and doubling over onto the ground. A dark pony who was only a little smaller than Celestia, popped in right next to her sister. They were both pretty majestic, but Luna was obviously best pone. Obviously.

Luna leaned down and said in a worried tone, "Oh, Twilight, are you okay? You should really learn not to hit crystal tables with your stomach. They're generally not good for your physical health."

Twilight grumbled as she got back up into her chair, "Thanks... I'll take that into consideration the next time Celestia pops into existence right behind me."

Luna smiled proudly at her well-received advice, "You're very welcome, Twilight. Now, I'm assuming these two are the visitors from another dimension? The short one is Sans, and the tall one is Papyrus. That's what the letter said anyway. Hello, my name is Luna. My sister's name is Celestia."

Sans looked at their butts, which wasn't weird at all, "Oh. That explains the butt tattoos. That must have hurt. Waaaaiiit... I've seen those on children. Don't tell me you put tattoos on child butts. That's gotta be, like, permanent paint or something. If not, that's child abuse, man. And that's not cool."

Celestia laughed heartily at Sans's naïvety, "No, no, of course not... these are our cutie marks. They're not tattoos. They appear through magical means when we find our special talent in life. Mine is my talent to raise and lower the sun, whilst Luna's is her ability to raise and lower the moon. We work in total harmony to do this."

Luna blushed a bit as she remembered her days of angst, "Most days."

Papyrus's jaw dropped... quite literally, to which he popped it back in place, "You raise and lower the sun? Really? That's actually pretty amazing, I won't lie. I mean... wait... what does the moon look like? And I'm pretty sure I saw the sun outside. I dunno, I've only read about them in books."

Celestia gave Papyrus a strange look, "What?"

Twilight interjected, "Well, Sans told me that they live underground... I'm assuming they don't get out much. Or at all."

Sans nodded his head at this, looking as creepily friendly as always, "Yup. We were trapped underground by humans a very long time ago. Some amount of years, I don't care to keep count. But anyway, monsters have been wanting to get out for a very long time. And now that we have a portal to your world, we'd like to escape our imprisonment to live in your world. A bit forward, but that's gist of it."

Papyrus deadpanned at Sans, "As you can see, my brother is not good at subtlety. But yes, that's our situation."

Celestia sighed and rubbed at her temples, "Well, that complicates things quite a lot. How many of you are there?"

Papyrus thought long and hard about that one, "A lot."

Celestia stared at Papyrus and raised an eyebrow, "Allllrigght...? That's not very specific. But I guess you wouldn't know on hoof how many of you there are. I have a question. Why are there only two of you? You don't look like leaders. No offense."

Sans nodded at this, casting a glance to Papyrus, "We're not. My brother here decided to sneak out and try the new portal out... I tried to stop him from going through, but ended up on the other side, too."

Celestia nodded at this and said, "Well, that certainly complicates things. Still, you're our guests, and we'll do everything we can to make you feel welcome. You'll find that others might be suspicious of you at first, but Equestria is nothing if not tolerant of newcomers."

Luna chuckled nervously, "Most of the time."

Twilight continued the conversation from there, "Well, anyway, it doesn't seem like there's much else to discuss. You're not the intended diplomats, so we don't have to discuss things you don't want to be responsible for. I'm sure you're feeling a large responsibility about all of this. You don't have to. Official diplomacy can wait until the actual intended ones arrive. In the meantime, you two can stay here at the castle. And one of my friends could give you a tour of the town if you want."

While they were happy to do what they could to make the skeleton brothers feel welcome, a tour of an entire town seemed like a hassle, and they didn't appreciate being called out like this, because they had stuff to do. Pinkie, however, was more than happy about this. In fact, it was no surprise to anyone that she immediately volunteered... quite excitedly, too.

Pinkie jumped up from her chair, "Oh my gosh, I wanna give them the tour! Please, please, pleeeaaaase, Twilight! I wanna do it, I WANNA DO IT!"

Twilight sighed at this, and forced a smile, "Alright, then Pinkie Pie will be the one to show you around. As you can see, she can be very eccentric, but if anyone can make you feel welcome, it's her."

Sans seemed to be satisfied by this, and nodded once. Papyrus was too busy looking himself over in a handheld mirror. Without letting anyone speak any further, Pinkie was already ushering the brothers out the door. Celestia felt as if her time had been wasted, but Luna rather liked the short one.

Celestia looked down at her sister, "Luna, could you stay here and watch things over here? I'll take up your royal duties. I did it for a thousand years, I'm sure I can handle a little while longer."

Luna grinned at this and nodded, feeling excited about being able to spend time in Ponyville, "You can count on me, Tia. I won't let you down."

Celestia chuckled a bit, "I'm sure you won't, Lulu. Now, I'm off to the castle. I hope you all have a wonderful day."

With that, the white princess pony was gone. Pinkie, Papyrus, and Sans were already gone, and the others sort of just sat around awkwardly. Fluttershy seemed really relieved that those she was used to remained in the room, though she'd never actually say it. After a while of awkward small talk, everyone just sorta left to do their own thing. Spike, on the other claw-hand-thing didn't want to leave this alone. Despite his initial fear of the two, his curiosity came out on top and he got up to follow them. Hopefully nothing bad happens.