A yellow wirewolf screamed like a coward as he was sent flying uncontrollably into the air, nothing slowing him down. Just as he was about to explode, everything seemed to stop.

You ever be somewhere and wonder... how the f*ck did I get caught up in this? Well I have, many times throughout my entire life. My name is Alfreda, and this is my story-

Hold it!

Alfreda looked at Cell with annoyance. "What now?"

"You said this was an autobiography, but now you want me to write this part like you're writing it?"

"It's the foreward, now shut it and start writing, and before you ask, for parts I weren't there for I asked the people that weren't there about what happened."

"Fine, I'm just saying is all-"

"You want some of the money I might make from this or not?" Alfreda asked in a deadpan.

Now where to begin, you may ask, for this tale of greatness.

Yeah more like cowardice-

CELL I SWEAR TO FAUST! As I was saying, I guess we start with, when I was born...

A henchpony's hoof knocked on the steel door, some bagels in her purple magical aura. Her coat was a snow white with a flat like green mane, her cutie mark a heart on a hairdryer. "Boss. You ok? It's me Lather. You've been down there for a week we're starting to get worried. Heck a couple of them are even talking about mutiny." Suddenly the door opened and some tentacles grabbed Lather and pulled her in before slamming shut. They dropped her to the flow and Lather found her self in front of the Mane-iac, who had hairs sticking out of her mane near the roots and her eyes bloodshot, chuckling crazier then normal. "Hello Lather, how kind of you to come down here. Just in time to see my newest creation."

"What?" Lather asked confused.

"You see I finally figured out why my schemes are failing, not only do I have you incompetent fools working for me, no offense to you and your sister lather, but because the Power Ponies are just to much for us, so I created the perfect killing machine to whip those idiots into shape and get rid of those Cursed Costumed Crusaders once and for all. Lather, I give you..." Mane-iac then gestured to the table behind her, a spotlight on it revealing the robot in the middle. He had a shape like a long upside down trapezoid, with two skinny arms with 3 appendages, barely coming up to the top of Lather's head. An antenna stuck out of his head as he had a single eye no light coming out.

"Alfreda." She finished. "Yes I now not a good name but I'm trying to come up with an acronym so it makes more sense. So far I have Annihilating Lubricated Free-willed Ripping Eviscerating and Destroying Android. Working on the L though. Let's give him a go now." Mane-iac pressed a button and electricity surged through Alfreda, causing him to wake up, his eye glowing red as he rolled off the table and to the Mane-iac. "Hello mother, how are you today?" Alfreda asked in an emotionless yet authoritative voice.

"Pretty happy now that I got you little buddy." Mane-iac responded, her usual tone back before she landed to the floor and snoring.

"My scanners say she has finally succumbed to sleep fatigue. It will be at least 48 hours till she awakens. Assemble the henchponies. Announcements must be made with my new arrival." Alfreda said as he rolled off.

All of the henchponies were assembled by Lather and Rinse, confused at how the Mane-iac was nowhere to be seen. Alfreda rolled into their vew earning a chuckle or two from some of the stallions. "Greetings subordinates, I am Mane-iac's Annihilating Lethal Functioning Rending Eviscerating and Destroying Android. Or A.L.F.R.E.D.A for short." a couple of the stallions then laughed.

"Now that I have you attention, I am the ultimate weapon created by the Mane-iac to dispose of the Power Ponies that have proved too much of a nuisance to our criminal operations. As planned by her, I now declare myself the new second in command of her, Lather shall be my second in command in turn. The Ex Second in Command Seth will now be lookout for Power Ponies if they come to our HeadQuarters."

Seth, a stallion in black with an ankh for a cutie mark, stomped up to Alfreda with a look of anger on his face. "What makes you thinks you can just roll on in here on your tiny wheel and declare you're second in charge?! I'm second in command not you, you mare named one eyed walking toaster!" He yelled in his face. Alfreda merely blinked. "Such vocabulary for such a small brain. Tell me, have you heard of Russian Roulette? If so, how about my variation?" Alfreda then grabbed Seth by the neck and held him against a wall, taking a revolver out with one chamber empty. "It's simple, If I pull the trigger and it clicks, your life is spared, if not, then you can at least be an example." Alfreda then spun the case around then put the gun to Seth's head, who was shaking in terror as Alfreda's finger began to squeeze. Lather watched in horror then walked up. "Alfreda, as your second in command I'm asking you please spare Seth, he's just not happy about being demoted. Would Mane-iac approve of her only son killing so early?" Alfreda stopped for a second as he scanned Seth's body, emotions of rage and fear pouring out of him. "She wouldn't unless it was to preserve my own life. Your argument...is logical." Alfreda dropped Seth who backed away. "But just to see." Alfreda pulled the trigger, causing a shot to bang out, he did so until he heard click, all five shots went off. "Looks like Lather was more kind to you then chance this time Seth." Alfreda then dropped the gun like a mike then rolled off, leaving every cowering at how emotionless he just took control.

Mane-iac woke up feeling refreshed and walked up out of the basement, shocked at how the henchponies were working overtime, save for Lather and Rinse who were managing them. She swung over to them a bit confused. "What happened while I was asleep?" She asked.

"Good to see you awake boss." Lather responded. "Alfreda forcefully took control, by the way he replaced Lubricated and free-willed with Lethal and functioning, and now he's working on some inventions non-stop in your office."

Mane-iac swung over to the door and walked in, finding blueprints scattered everywhere as Alfreda worked on one on the board. "Splendid to see you awakened and fully functioning mother. Please examine some of my blueprints while I finish this one up." Mane-iac looked at the one by her hooves and looked surprised at the schematics and the calculations made. "A power siphoning machine?"

"Brilliant isn't it? I'm amazed that no other villains have thought up of such an ingenious device. We take the Power Ponies powers then we transfer them into the villains Smudge, Pharaoh Phetlock, Long Face, Shadowmane, High Heel, and yourself."

"Excellent. But how do you know they won't turn on me or each other?"

"The moment they do, with the press of a button I suck their powers out and transfer them into you."

"Ooh I love it already. Anything else?"

"Yes. A hairdryer cannon that amplifies the power of your mane at least one million times based on the numbers and effect of everyone else's mane growing uncontrollably. And finally, the Hairspray Ray of Doom. It's able to completely immobilize your target and render their powers useless. The effects are temporary, but long enough to imprison them. I have even formulated a plan using all three inventions. First we will use them in separate schemes and at some put when they least expect it. Then when we have them together, we will use the Hairspray Ray of Doom and then trap them. Once fully secured we take their powers then transfer them into you then fire the Hair Dryer cannon on them amplifying the power of your mane. Your strengthened mane combined with mainly Radiance's constructs, Zapp weather manipulation, Filli-Second's speed, and Saddle Rager's pure destructive strength and might, not only will we gain control of Maretropolis, but within a few days afterward, we'll take control of all of Equestria, then the entire planet with several weeks."

Mane-iac's grin widened at the thought of controlling so much power when something occurred to her. "Wait what about Solar Mare and Moon Knight?"

"Same thing as what we will do with the Power Ponies. Take their power as well." Alfreda replied. "But to before I can begin construction on the devices, I need to take measures of their power, especially their ace in the hole Saddle Rager. Speaking of which..." As if timed, an alarm went off and Rinse ran into the room. "Alfreda! We pulled off the heights across town like you said but the Power Ponies are hitting us at all the spots. Forgive me if I offend you but you didn't plan this out?"

"Oh I did, the heists weren't meant to be successful, they were meant to draw out the Power Ponies." Alfreda then punched something into the computer before rolling out. "Have one of the bodies I made out and ready. Knowing Saddle Rager I know it won't end with me intact." Alfreda then rolled out, leaving the Mane-iac and Rinse surprised.

Matterhorn froze another henchpony as Fillie-Second rounded all the frozen ones up putting them in awkward positions. Matterhorn found 2 more trying to escape but stopped them. "Tell us who had you doing this."

"Don't look far." A voice said behind her promptly her to look behind her and get punched in the face by a skinny arm with a lot of force. Matterhorn found her footing and faced the small robot. "Greetings. My name is Alfreda. It stands for Annihilating Lethal Functioning Rending Eviscerating and Destroying Android."

"You still have a girl's name." Filli-Second responded.

"You know what, to hay with it, Eye Cannon."

"Eye Cannon?" Filli-Second asked before dodging a laser beam from Alfreda's eye. She then charged at Alfreda who dodged surprisingly. "Ole." He said before elbowing her. Matterhorn shot another beam at Alfreda who took a trash can lid and shielded himself from the ice beam before throwing the lid at her. Matterhorn dodged only to get uppercutted by Alfreda. Filli-Second looked incredibly mad him. "Oh man you got me mad, I guess to the point you can call it a rage."

"And based on your background I could call it a rage which can be mainly found in the western-most county of Long Island, Neigh York." Alfreda replied.

"Yeah. ALSO KNOWN AS BROOKLYN!!" She yelled as she kicked him in the eye sending him into a mailbox. Alfreda pulled himself out then dashed for Filli-Second who swung at him only for him to hit her in a pressure point in the neck, knocking her unconscious. Alfreda looked over to Matterhorn who was also knocked out before taking out a log. "Field Report 1: Matterhorn's blasts are limited to a degree but are still hazardous to systems like mine requiring shields or other defenses to either block them or reflect them all together. Filli-Second reveals to not only have super speed, but a bit of a temper, most likely due to where her upbringing was from, and when I had delivered a cut to one of her legs, examination shows it has healed hinting at some form of healing factor thanks to her super speed, this will be taken into account during the operation with the Power Siphoner. Side note: come up with more interesting name for Power Siphoner."

"Field report 2: Radiance's constructs seem to come from the pink bracelets on her front hooves amplified by a spell used by her horn, all though it appears more strain is visual when using the bracelets more then her horn, most likely not very strong willed in order to use bracelets more efficiently. Marevelous possesses no actual powers save for her psychic connection to her rope, which appears to be completely impervious to any weapons attempting to cut it, as my chainsaw and katana showed against it. Zapp's weather manipulation has untold possibilities of usefulness, but she limits herself to lightning and tornados, most likely due to either not much knowledge on weather for more potential attacks or restraint as attacks may damage city more then villains. Humdrum posses no interesting features save for possible underdog based on records and may be only connection the Power Ponies have to let the citizens know they won't turn on them, especially Saddle Rager based on her history. Speaking of the latter, I am off to take analysis of her, do not be surprised if this is my last long, but if not then she will be the new subject of one of my researches." Alfreda then rolled off, leaving the unconscious Power Ponies all in a pile and Humdrum tied and gagged as to not interfere with Alfreda's plan

The Mane-iac's henchponies cowered as Saddle Rager took one step towards them, shaking the ground. One Henchstallion looked terrified. "I can't outrun her. Wait, but it won't matter as long as I can outrun you!" He said looking at the Henchmare next to him, which he then kicked out one of her legs earning a scream of pain from her. "SAVE YOURSELVES!" He yelled before running off like a coward. Every one of them screamed as Saddle Rager prepared to charge when a tiny wheel hit her on top of the head. "Excuse me, colossal equine in torn spandex."

She turned around and Alfreda stood there, cattle prod and another wheel in his small claws. "Why don't you pick on somepony your own muscle mass?"

'Note to self, write list of better taunts in order to intimidate foes more, especially if they're Saddle Rager.' Alfreda thought before Saddle Rager roared at him and ran for him, to which he rolled off as the henchponies escaped, Lather looking back. "Alfreda are you insane?!" She yelled to him.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, unless of course it actually works once so that would be persistent. The term in this case would be suicidal. Which I am not by the way." Alfreda yelled as he rolled away from Lather as Saddle Rager chased him down the street.

Rinse placed her hoof on her sisters shoulder. "He'll die as he lived."

"Emotionless?" Lather asked.

"And alone."

Alfreda rolled as fast as his wheel could carry him, dodging a car flying past him. "Project Rage: Field Report 1: Saddle Rager shows great strength when angered as she's currently throwing several cars at me as if they weighed like styrofoam. Also reasoning with her is most likely out of the question as so far she has only replied in either growls or, yelling 'get back here!' The former of the two more common." Alfreda turned his body around while his wheel remained forward, and shot a rocket at her only for her to run through it angered even more. "And apparently shooting at her only pisses her off more, which adds fuel to the ass beating." Alfreda added his eye turning blue with a green pupil in a voice with a tad more emotion in it for a minute before changing back to red. "Odd, where did that come from? Cataloging outburst for later examination." Alfreda rolled into an alley and rolled out the other side pressing a detonator causing the alley to explode with smoke and napalm. "Saddle Rager subdued." Alfreda said before Saddle Rager rammed into him, her eyes redder then before. "Revelation: The angrier Saddle Rager is made, the stronger she gets. Side Note:" Saddle Rager began to slam him around. "AH! OW! PAIN! DAEGE! D'OH! OUF!"

Mane-iac paced around nervously as Alfreda still hadn't come back yet. "Just calm down boss, I'm sure he's on his way." Lather assured the Mane-iac.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID 10 MINUTES AGO!" Mane-iac yelled before breathing in and out. "I'm sorry I'm just very stressed with what might've happened. But best case scenario is that he smashes through the roof." As if by pure chance Alfreda crashed through the roof, smashing into a couple of pieces. "Should've worded that differently." Rinse noted. Mane-iac quickly grabbed several tools and a spare body of Alfreda's and fixed him as quickly as she could. Alfreda stood there completely yellow now, and his eye turned on, fizzing red before turning blue with a green and yellow pupil. "Ok...ow." Mane-iac hugged Alfreda tightly as a tear left her eye, a henchstallion noticing. "Are you crying?"

Mane-iac pimped slapped him with her mane into a wall earning a groan from him. "I deserved that." Alfreda chuckled at the henchstallion earning some surprising looks form some of the henchponies. "Did Alfreda just laugh?"

"I did? Weird."

"I guess getting his ass kicked gave him some emotions." Lather concluded.

"Maybe." Alfreda agreed before his eye fizzled back to red. "Another one? I will look into these outbursts tonight.." Alfreda then rolled on when he found a lifeless wirewolf staring at him. "and this is?" He began to ask.

"Someone Mane-iac built for you so you, you know, don't go over the edge and kill ponies."

"It was illogical to do so as my protocols keep me from going too far, but companionship would ease my mind a bit before I begin working on the Power Siphoner." Alfreda replied as Mane-iac turned the wirewolf on who blinked as he looked around. "Wow...so what's for fun around here?" He asked.

"Define Fun." Alfreda stated.

"Those two should get along just fine." Lather whispered to the Mane-iac.

"Well see how this goes." Mane-iac responded as Alfreda and the Wirewolf walked off.

Author's Note

And thus a friendship is created and a story begins. Alfreda's outbursts will become more frequent as time passes on.

Next Chapter will take place during the Power Ponies annual comic, but my take on the events with Alfreda involved a bit