This fanfic isn't what it looks like.

by Space Kitty

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Apple Bloom, Comedy, Rarity, Horror, Random
Length: 1186

Applejack is attacked by a swarm of cupcakes created by Rarity. This is her revenge.

I'm serious dude, it isn't what it looks like!
Applejack just got cupcake'd, and she decides to be a bit overzealous with her revenge.

Spoiler below!
Tags: Rarity, Applejack, Comedy (for AJ), Horror (for Rarity), Random

Update 11/15/15: Wow, this much popularity already? First decent amount of positive comments and views I've ever had! Thank you!

Published 2015-11-14 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-14 23:40:01 UTC

No, it isn't. Read it.

Author's Note

IT AIN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

No, it isn't. Read it.

The mare walked with her apple cart, full of "fabric dye" bottles, to Rarity's home, more formally known as Carousel Boutique. Applejack knocked on the door softly, but when it was answered, the softness of the knocking was replaced by the harsh sound of a bat swinging down, knocking the mare out cold. Loading the sleeping unicorn onto her cart, covering it up, and taking it to the basement was as easy as pie. Removing the mare's dress was even easier, as a pair of shears was all that was needed to destroy the soft fabric.
Once she had done that, the ivory unicorn fashionista was strapped down to the floor using metal chains and leather straps, allowing little mobility. Applejack then went over to the box. She searched around, digging around a hazmat suit or two, some wrenches, some bottles, and finally she got ahold of her precious rubber boots. Stuff was going to get messy.

Applejack also retrieved a Horavian Unchain from the chest. It was very hard to obtain legally. AJ was an honest pony who would abide by Equestrian law, she wasn't going to steal one or get it from an illegal seller. After all, she was the element of Honesty, and breaking the law is an awfully dishonest act.

The earth pony mare slowly placed the chain onto Rarity, inserting the key and locking it. The lock gave a satisfying click as it was secured and activated. Almost at once, a sickly green aura engulfed every part of horn above the chain, but almost as quickly as it had appeared, the aura dissipated, leaving behind a strange green slime. Slimy, thin, and snake-like tendrils poked out of the goop, wrapping around the horn, causing the slime to appear to turn purple, then black.

Then, Rarity was gagged, and it was time to wait for her to awaken.

Around an hour later, Rarity awakened and got a good look at her surroundings before screaming. Weapons of all different shapes and sizes hung from the walls from little hooks.

Applejack caressed Rarity's cheek, running a hoof back to the back of the gag to release it's clasp. She then walked along the walls, surveying the weapons before picking up q butcher's cleaver.

Immediately, Rarity dramatically gasped for breath, then began to shout. "APPLEJACK, PLEASE LET ME GO, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. PUT DOWN THE CLEAVER, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!"

"Hush a mite, yer gonna wake the entire town. I wanted revenge for when ya decided to dye my mane red while I was sleeping. That wasn't nice, Rares. I'm gonna show you how I get back at ponies when they mess with me. Ya mess with me, I mess you up even harder." Applejack replied before raising the cleaver.

Rarity expected to be decapitated, or for a limb to be severed, or for her torso to be crudely hacked at.

The cleaver came down.

Rarity screamed.

The red substance splashed all over the floor and soaked Rarity's coat. The giant jug of Kool-Aid mixed had been chopped open, sending the liquid all over the poor mare. Another chop came down, severing the side of a green dye jug, making Rarity look like a cheap and tacky children's toy.

Three more screams rang out, following the chops of the cleaver cleanly slicing open the pink, blue, and yellow dyes.

Before another chop went down, AJ was interrupted by a high-pitched voice.
"Applejack? Whatcha doin? Why is Rarity on tha floor?" Apple Bloom said.

"Ah-um-uh... Well, ya got me." Applejack sighed. "Ah'm getting back at Rares for the cupcake incident. Here, join the fun!" she said as she gestured towards a small hatchet and some smaller dye bottles.

Soon after AJ secured the door more tightly and added more soundproofing, the fun began again. Dye flew everywhere, coating Rarity and making her look like a mare who had dyed her coat with a paintball gun. Finally, they actually got out paintball guns and loaded them with the dye, and shooting the dye onto a now soaking wet and weeping Rarity. Good thing they had put on hazmat suits (also hard to legally get into a basement) before doing this, or they would be busted for doing this just by looking at their coats.

Now the entire room was soaked, and it was about three hours later. Applejack was out of dyes, and Rarity had simply passed out.

"Hay, I'm fifteen now, AJ. It took me five years to get mah cutie mark, and all those years I wasn't allowed to drink soda. Do ya think we could drink some soda while we're out finding more things to splash on Rarity?" Apple Bloom asked curiously.

"Heh, sure. You've earned it. How about a Mountain Derp? They're mah favorite, they taste like fruit punch- wait a minute... APPLE BLOOM, YER A GENIUS!"

Almost instantly, AJ started grabbing Mountain Derps from the nearby cooler. Cherry Derp, Lightning Derp, regular Derp, all the Derp! She hoofed one over to her sister and started chugging. Applejack then took the cleaver and started chopping the bottles clean in half, spilling the amazing-tasting drinks everywhere, staining the floor even more than ever. When they ran out, they got into the Dr. Pony, the next best tasting drink on AJ's list. Rarity was awake by now, and was drinking the soda in an attempt to bloat herself enough to bust through the ropes. However, so little got in her mouth that her plan failed.

The earth ponies decided to feed Rarity the most disgusting soda-a bunch of expired Colta-Cola. The stuff was decaf, because three hundred and fifteen didn't dent Pinkie Pie at all. If a soda doesn't give Pinkie Pie a caffeine headache, then it's got WAAAY too much in it.

That's why it was decaf. If it had the caf in it, then Rarity would bust out faster than a motorcycling bull. Of course, it did not happen, as the unicorn was simply giving up by now, letting everything happen.

Rarity passed out ten minutes later, and received a drawing of a pair of tacky glasses on her face. The Unichain was removed, and she was freed from her floorish prison. When the sisters were sure she was out cold, she was loaded into an apple cart, with a tarp over her in order to conceal what was inside the apple cart. After removing their hazmat suits and scrubbing away the dye mess, they, together, hooked the cart up to Applejack. Once it was secure, and Apple Bloom was sitting on the cart's edge, the older sister started making a beeline for Carousel Boutique. She was placed on her stomach, on the floor of her bedroom, where she was out cold in peace. A bottle of the expired Colt was put down beside the unicorn, and she was left to sit, in all her dyed, soaking wet, soda-covered glory, until the next morning.

"What the hell did I do last night?"