My Little Purgatory

by BlackDenimCap

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Tragedy, Horror, Adventure
Length: 2416

When ponies die, where do they go? If Rainbow Dash dies, what happens to Equestria?

So, you think you're still dreaming. Where do you think you are?

"Um… Tartarus?"

Yes. And no. You are in between damnation and salvation; a realm where a pony's life still has yet to be measured to see whether they are worth sending to Tartarus or up into Heaven.

Rated T for language and violence.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-14 18:50:02 UTC

Death

Rainbow Dash, can you hear me?

Hello?! Rainbow Dash, wake up!

Somebody get a doctor! I think my friend's been badly hurt!

Rainbow Dash woke with a start. That voice was definitely Twilight's, though Rainbow had no idea where the voice came from. Upon looking around her she found that she actually had no idea where she was. Usually she could orient herself by the sun, the terrain, or in the case of nighttime: the stars and moon. Here the terrain was unfamiliar, dark, unfamiliar and crumbling buildings surrounded and threatened to collapse on the area. The sky was blacked out save for one gigantic, eerie source of white light, three times the size of Equestria's moon.

The thing was, it wasn't Equestria's moon; it was bare and seemed to radiate a cold feeling. While one might feel warmth and protection under the gentle beams of moonlight that Luna brings to Equestria, this moon was merciless and felt as if it were saying 'you don't belong here.' That feeling sent a series of shivers up Rainbow Dash's spine.

As odd as it may sound and as hostile as the environment was the pegasus felt as though she actually was supposed to be there. For what reason she didn't know at the time, but for now it'll be called a 'gut feeling.'

She got up slowly and brushed her shoulders off, taking in the scenery before her skeptically. "Hello?" she called, the only response being her voice reflecting off of dilapidated buildings. "Um... I'm not sure where I am," Rainbow muttered to herself, checking that her body was still intact. "But if someone's in there I would like some direction back to Ponyville?" Still nothing answered. Growing ever curious she turned towards the nearest building and started heading for it.

The building looked like it had been built centuries ago and eventually left to decay. Several chunks of stone were missing from the sides and top, a giant crack running about half the height of the building on one side before turning abruptly to the left and around the back. The appearance didn't daunt Rainbow, the pegasus still being spurned on by her overwhelming curiosity.

Suddenly her heart dropped into her stomach. No, this is very bad her gut instinct now told her. Turn back! Stop! Stay away from the top of the building! However -- despite the fear that was coursing through her nerves -- she continued to walk up the steps until she reached the very top and almost instantly noticed two things that were very, very wrong. First off, her nerves seemed to be insisting that she be back on the ground - safely. And secondly, directly below her was a crumpled version of herself surrounded by a small pool of her own blood. But... that couldn't be right, could it? After all, this is Rainbow Dash, right?

"Rainbow Dash" checked her tail, wings, mane, and coat. Yep. Still all the right colours, even with the same annoying cowlick in her mane that she attempted to tame on most mornings.  Then surely that Rainbow Dash below her couldn't be real? After all, there is only one Rainbow Dash, Element of... of... Well, now that she thought about it she couldn't remember what her "Element" was, or what the word "Element" meant in the context. The more she thought the more she realized what she didn't remember. She had remembered the name "Twilight" and had associated the voice she had heard earlier with it, but again, the more she thought the more she realized she had forgotten. She didn't know what "Twilight" looked like or what relevance that "Twilight" held.

"Should I try to fly?" Rainbow asked herself. She did recall being quite good at it, then again if she could fly then why did the copy of herself fall to her death?

"You can't go back." The voice sounded from directly behind Rainbow Dash causing her to jump and whirl around.

"Wh-what?"

"You asked if you could go back to Ponyville. You can't." This mysterious voice had that kind of neutral voice in which you weren't sure if it was your friend or not; it had a silky tone that was pleasing to listen to but at the same time it hinted at some sort of danger, as if it could turn on you in a split second.

"Am I-- Is this a nightmare?"

The voice laughed mockingly. "A nightmare? Do you feel afraid?"

"No," Rainbow Dash growled between clenched teeth.

"But you felt afraid a minute ago, did you not?"

Rainbow blinked and frowned. "Well, wh-"

"Why were you afraid?" The voice finishing Rainbow's sentence before her was a point of annoyance. "You tell me."

"It has to be a nightmare if I'm afraid of heights, right?" Rainbow concluded.

"It could be, but you're wrong."

The pegasus looked down from the building again. The collapsed corpse had disappeared without a sign; the ground where her duplicate's form had been didn't even look remotely red.

The voice allowed Rainbow Dash a few minutes before saying: "So, you think you're still dreaming, which you know now is not true--"

"Hang on, how do I know I can trust you?"

"Well, I haven't told you any lies yet. You're trying to get back to Ponyville, and I'm telling you that there is no way back. Can you see anything that disproves my argument?"

Rainbow shook her head no.

"Then by logic you have no reason not to trust me, correct? Now, when I say that you're not dreaming, where else do you think you are?"

"Um... Tartarus?" It was as good a guess as any.

The voice sighed in exasperation. "Yes. And no. You are in between damnation and salvation; a realm where a pony's life still has yet to be measured to see whether they are worth sending to Tartarus or up into Heaven. If you really care to know who you were, how you got here, and where we are I highly suggest you follow me."

Rainbow Dash opened and closed her mouth several times before saying: "How am I supposed to follow you if I can't see you?"

"Oh, right. Pesky detail," the voice chuckled. Rainbow didn't notice it at first, but right where she thought the voice was coming from was a shadow. That shadow grew in size until it started to grow upwards into a very peculiar shape. It wasn't the familiar figure of a pony nor the broad stature of a griffon, but rather the shape of a very large black wolf. "Better?" the wolf asked, the voice's voice coming from its mouth. Rainbow wasn't sure what to say. Sure, it was better that she could now see the voice in physical form but on the other hand the form that the voice had taken was unsettling. "Aww... you don't like it? Every other pony that has come through here thought that this was my most accurate look; could you imagine me looking like something else?"

The pegasus was unsure of what to say.

"Hm... I guess not."

There were a few seconds of tense silence between the two, the silence suddenly broken by one of the buildings collapsing in on its past expired foundation. Rainbow jumped at the sound, but turned and watched the building go down with a mighty crash, a tremor testing the integrity of the other buildings around it. "What are these buildings anyways?"

"They are the measure of someone's attempt to literally build and show their achievements in life; they're personal monuments to one's self that measures their 'good works.' Of course, as you see, the buildings have been presented before the most impartial judge of all: time. These buildings/measures of their achievements eventually erode and -- as we saw just now -- crumble to the ground as time tests their integrity." The wolf shook his head in disdain. "Every pony, griffon, diamond dog, dragon, changeling--" The hairs on the back of Rainbow's neck stood up upon his mentioning of the changelings "--sea monster, and bison that have come through here and constructed a building have not passed the test of time. Here, your life's achievements do not matter. How you died does not matter. Who you were as a pony or other beast? That is what truly matters."

"I don't... quite follow. You say that our 'achievements' don't matter, but who we were as a pony does?"

"It's a measure of character, not of works. Do you follow now?"

"I-I think so."

The wolf looked at Rainbow, as if he were pondering something. No... it wasn't quite that, it was rather a look of curiosity, as if Rainbow were the first pony to go through there. But surely the wolf had mentioned that other ponies had been through there and created monuments to themselves based on their achievements?

"What?" Rainbow demanded of the wolf.

"Curious. Of all ponies that have come through here, you have not asked me how you died. Maybe your death is irrelevant to you?"

The pegasus had never considered it before, though the question made an ugly knot in her stomach. The mind of a pony cannot cope with the thought of still being alive in this realm while simultaneously realizing that they had to die to get to where they were. "Why can't I remember anything?"

"You can't remember anything?" echoed the wolf.

"That's what I just said. I can't remember my life; I remember my name and how I look, but I don't remember any achievements I accomplished, who I was with, where I was. All I know is that I was good at flying--" The wolf snickered to himself. "-- the name "Twilight," and my own name and appearance."

"Nothing else?" His voice seemed to be containing a laugh.

"N-No, nothing else," Rainbow admitted, deciding that she did not like the wolf.

If the wolf was smiling he was doing so as brightly as he had in centuries. To Rainbow Dash it appeared as though he were grimacing, his dark, empty eyes sparkling with a giddy enthusiasm. "Oh, this is just ri-- unusual! That's the whole point of the buildings: ponies remembering what they achieved in life and they normally start building right away, but you are most unusual!" The wolf started laughing, if one could call it a laugh. It was really more like a cough you'd hear from someone who hasn't had a drink of water for the last few days.

Rainbow Dash had had it. Acting purely out of impulse she charged at the wolf -- who was still laughing -- and tried to knock the laughter out of his gut by giving him a solid headbutt. A split second before her head made contact with the wolf he disappeared in a puff of smoke, making Rainbow run and trip down the narrow flight of stairs. The wolf reappeared at the top of the stairs, clicking his tongue. Furious, Rainbow stood back up and flew at the wolf but once again she missed the wolf, the ethereal lupine teleporting away in a fair amount of time.

Rainbow's trailing hind leg caught on the stairs with a resounding crack, sending her tumbling across and off the edge of the building. The pegasus' mind started to panic as the feeling of uncontrollable free fall settled into her stomach, her wings frozen in fear. Just before she hit the ground she froze, wings splayed out awkwardly and pink eyes wide open in terror. Something was holding her mere centimetres above the ground. If someone were to have witnessed this they would see that all of Rainbow's motion had suddenly stopped, as if someone had taken a freeze frame from a movie.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you ghost stories?" the wolf asked, standing over her. "You can't see them or touch them because they're a figment of your imagination in the same way that I'm a projection of your imagination." He stood there waiting for a reply before realizing: "Oh, silly me! You're frozen in my spell." The wolf lifted his telepathic grasp on the pegasus, dropping her on the ground rather unceremoniously.

Rainbow Dash rolled onto all fours and started heaving, her body's paroxysms yielding nothing as there was nothing in her stomach to release.  "Y-you... fucking... hate you..." she said in between sharp breaths.

The wolf snarled and lifted her face to his. "Listen. I could have let you die here again, but do you know what that would mean for me? That would mean that I would have start your journey all the way back from the beginning; back from where you started. Or I could simply deem you not worthy of my approval and it's straight to Tartarus with you." The corner of his mouth twitched at the thought. "But I always think that damning you right away is a bit harsh. So this time, I'm going to learn from your mistakes as are you so that maybe at the end of this you'll have a fighting chance." He released her face and sat back on his haunches. "Right now your afterlife expectancy is about here." The wolf put his paw near the ground. "But if you listen to me and don't pull any more stunts, I promise you that you'll be about here--" He held the paw at about his midriff. "--or maybe even here." He held his paw level with his head. "So, let me repeat this one more time to make sure you get it. With me--" The wolf held his paw up. "--without me--" He punched his paw into the ground. "Get the picture?"

Rainbow nodded slowly, wincing.

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other."

"What do I call you?"

The wolf made his attempt at smiling again. This pegasus amused him. The first questions that she asked were not the ones that he had grown bored of over countless eons, and not only that but she also didn't remember her past! Ha! What great monuments to her own glory she would build only if she could remember! "I've had many names, though the one that I've liked the best so far is 'Virgil,' unless you had another suggestion?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head.

"Then you may call me Virgil."

"Yeah, I got that."

Virgil smirked at Rainbow Dash. The pegasus may have forgotten who she was, but she still had the same behavioral quirks. "Now about your death..."