The Twin Guards

by Yoni

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Princess Celestia, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3064

Edmund and Conner are brothers. Twins to be exact. And both are the captains of the Lunar and Solar guard respectively

Having a twin brother can be a handful at times. Edmund and Conner will be the first ones to admit it. More often than not the two fight and argue. But beneath that seemingly shaky relationship, they are still brothers, and that's what really counts

Published 2015-11-13 21:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-13 21:30:03 UTC

The Twin Guards

Canterlot, the city of gold and marble. The symbol of the Equestrian kingdom and the seat of power of the two princesses. Once, this magnificent city was known throughout the land as a place where everypony is welcomed with open hooves, but over time, the hospitality and warmth eroded, leaving behind snotty nobles, and corrupted ponies. To fight off this rising tide of law-breakers, the two sisters formed two unique forces;

The solar guard and the lunar guard.

Both forces were famed for their ability to get the job done, but none were more famous (or infamous) than the captains of these two divisions. After all, it is not every day that both captain are twin brothers from another world entirely.

Their names are Conner and Edmund, captains of the solar guard and lunar guard respectively.

But don't let the fact that they are twins fool you, for the two are as different as chalk and cheese…

"That's it, tie 'em tight and good!" Edmund commanded his troops as they worked on restraining the knocked out ponies inside a warehouse filled with smuggled goods.

Edmund observed the scene as a light smirk graced his face, it was almost too easy really. These criminal scums had no chance once Edmund busted their front door. After making sure all the criminals were tied up, Edmund ordered his troops to secure the smuggled goods and make a list of every item they found.

A shuffle behind Edmund alerted him to the presence of yet another criminal. Perhaps he hid once the raid started and avoided detection.

Edmund almost felt bad for the pony.

With inhuman speed, Edmund turned around, raising his crystalline artificial hand just in time to catch a spinning blade aimed at his head. Edmund quickly fished from his vest five more blades, throwing them in quick succession at his target. The pony was mortified as each blade was embedded in the wall behind him, just inches away from his body. The pony blinked and Edmund suddenly appeared before him.

"You know," Edmund started. "I really hate it when cowards such as you try to sneak up behind me, it makes me angry. And when I'm angry, my aim goes straight down the drain." Edmund accentuated his point by driving a knife straight into the wall next to the pony's neck, cutting a few hairs.

"Here's the deal; you can run, and you will get hurt. Or you will not run, in which case you will only mostly get hurt."

The pony gulped hard, looking at Edmund's fiery orange eyes that seemed to burn his soul.

"I-I-I surrender…"

Edmund smiled. "Good choice." He them smacked the pony in the head, rending him unconscious. "Man, I do love a good raid in the morning! How's it going over there guys?"

"All ponies are bound and all goods are accounted for, sir!" one of the guards replied.

"Good, let's wrap it up boys. Tonight's drinks on me!"

The guards cheered as they hauled the bound ponies and smuggled goods. Edmund smirked, feeling good with himself. He stepped out from warehouse and was about to head back to the castle when someone cleared his throat behind him.

Turning around, Edmund came face to face with none other than his own flesh and blood, his smirk disappearing.

"Conner."

"Eddy."

Despite the fact that the two were identical twins, it was a no brainer to distinguish between them. For once, Conner's uniforms were white and gold while Edmund's uniforms were black and blue. And even then, there was the fact that Edmund had a crystal arm and Conner had a crystal eye. More often than not the two brothers found themselves fighting, and while any hard feelings were usually forgotten, a loss of organs was not uncommon between the two. Luckily for the twins, they had a natural affinity to the crystals of Equestria, allowing them to use the crystals as replacement organs.

"Is there a specific reason why you're here? The boys and I were just about to head back," Edmund said, gesturing to the crowd of lunar guards that formed a circle around the two brothers.

Conner frowned, his crystalline eye glared at Edmund. "As a matter of fact there is. You see Eddy, I specifically remember telling you to handle the matter with care and discretion. Do you know how I got here so fast? Because half of Canterlot already knows about this!" Conner raised his voice.

Edmund scoffed, raising a dismissive hand. "Oh please, the job is completed and that's what important in the end."

"No it isn't!" Conner yelled. "What if some of the ponies you knocked out were innocent?! You know how bad that would reflect on us?! Do you even care?!"

"You've got something to say to me, brother?" Edmund spat the last word, getting closer to Conner until their noses almost touched, both were glaring at each other.

"Nothing that I should tell you in front of your troops," Conner answered.

"Oh please, don't let my troops stop ya! Come on, spill the beans, I'm sure we're all eager to hear what you have to say!"

Conner's frown deepened. "Well in that case, I think-"

"I cannot believe you said that in front of my men!" Edmund seethed as he stormed into the dining hall, Conner in tow.

"You asked for it!" Conner retorted.

"I was sarcastic you cunt!" Edmund yelled, taking a seat next to Luna. "I swear, sarcasm is a foreign language to you!"

"Just as much as tact and common sense are to you!" Conner countered, sitting on the opposite side, next to Celestia.

The two sisters exchanged looks as the twins continued to argue.

"Reckless? Thick-headed? Unfit to command?! What the hell were you thinking when you said those things to me?" Edmund demanded, eating furiously.

"I do believe these words are simple enough for you to figure it out yourself, Eddy," Conner replied, taking small bites from his food.

Before the fight could escalate further, Luna spoke up. "Pray tell, why the two of you are in such a sour mood today?"

"Mr. stick-in-the-mud here just embarrassed me in front of my men for no good reason!" Edmund spat, sending bits and pieces of food all over the dining table.

Conner observed, disgust written across his face at his brother's antics before replying. "I was merely scolding Eddy for his performance today. It is not my fault he took it the wrong way."

"Took it the wrong- You know what? Fuck you Conner! Next time we'll fight, I'll take your other eye!" Edmund cried, his hands slammed hard on the table.

Despite the show of force, Conner did not flinch. "Careful brother, remember who took your arm…"

"Oh yeah! I was the one who punctured your lung!"

"And I was the one who burnt your heart."

"Enough! The both of you!" Celestia raised her voice, something that she rarely did. "You two are the captains of the solar and lunar guard for goodness sake! You are adults, yet you insist of acting like two toddlers!"

Edmund exchanged looks between Conner, Celestia, and Luna, the latter looking at him worriedly. He snorted once before he rose from his seat and headed towards the door.

"And where exactly are you going?" Conner asked.

"I'm gonna get wasted, with my troops who respect and love me, unlike someone else," Edmund responded, not looking back.

"What is that supposed to mean." Conner frowned.

Just before he reached the door, Edmund turned around, looking at Conner. "They hate you Conner. Your troops hate you. They hate you from the bottom of your hooves to the top of your pitchfork. They hate you, dear god, they hate you good."

And with that said, Edmund left.

Conner, Celestia, and Luna sat there in awkward silence until Conner sighed. "Ugh, why can't we have a normal conversation without fighting all the time?"

Celestia placed a comforting hoof on Conner' shoulder. "You just need to let him time to vent, Conner. And so do you. Just give each other space until you are confident enough to talk to him."

"I… suppose you're right Celestia. Thank you, thank you both… for everything."

The two princesses smiled at the compliment and the three resumed eating.

Edmund and Luna fell onto Luna's bed, both were sweaty and hot.

"Didn't you say you were going out with your troops tonight?" Luna inquired once she managed to control her breathing once again, snuggling into Edmund chest.

Edmund snaked an arm around the princess, bringing her closer to him. "I left after the third round. You won't believe how much these fuckers can drink, and my pay is not large enough to cover an entire night of drinking, so I snuck out."

"Hmm, are you hinting that you want a raise?" Luna asked playfully.

"Nah, I'll take having sex with you over a raise any time," Edmund responded, kissing Luna on the nose.

The princess of the night chuckled, returning the affection, before her expression turned serious. "Tell me, Edmund. Is something bothering you?"

Edmund raised an eye brow at the seemingly random question. "Why are you asking?"

"Because you are noticeably more… vulgar, during our love making when something is bothering you."

Edmund cringed. "Am I that obvious?" Luna nodded. "Well… if you must know, it's because of my brother. I sometimes don't get him. He told me to go to a warehouse where there are supposedly smuggled goods. I apprehended the criminals and confiscated the goods and yet he was still mad at me. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

Luna hummed thoughtfully, running her hoof across Edmund's belly. "I've read the report and I must say, Conner did have a point."

"So you're taking his side now?!"

"There are no sides Edmund. You may have completed the task but it could have gone much worse. What if one of your troops got injured, or what if one of the ponies you knocked out was innocent. You rushed head first into the situation without analyzing it first."

Edmund sighed, he knew Luna was right, but to admit that Conner was right was just so frustrating. "I'm just tired of listening to every word he says, you know." Edmund hugged Luna tighter. "Back before we ended up in Equestria it was just Conner and I. We've never met our parents, we lived on the streets as beggars, doing odd jobs here and there. What little money we saved went to buy food and books. He wanted a better life for us, so he learned the secrets of the arcane as much as he could."

"And what about you?"

"I was just… there… picking off fights with strangers, stealing money and food. Conner never liked me doing that but we didn't have much of a choice."

"You love your brother, don't you, Edmund."

Edmund sighed but nodded. "I do, and as much as he can be such a pain in the ass somethings I still love him. He is my brother after all. We've been through so much together, it's just… we've got a second chance when we came here. Every moment is a gift so why not celebrate it?"

"…"

"Luna?"

Edmund looked down to see Luna's sleeping face resting on his chest. Edmund smiled gently, kissing Luna on the forehead before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep as well.

"Having trouble sleeping?"

Conner lifted his eyes from the book he was reading to look up at princess Celestia as she trotted down the cobblestone path towards him.

"How did you know where I was?" Conner asked calmly, placing a bookmark in the page he was currently at and gave Celestia his full attention.

Celestia levitated a covered tray from her back before joining Conner on the stone bench. "You always come to the gardens when something troubles you," Celestia replied, nuzzling Conner. Conner closed his eyes and leaned deeper against Celestia. "Tea?"

Celestia uncovered the tray, revealing a tea set. Conner's crystalline eye traced across the tea pot's surface before looking up at Celestia. "It's still cold."

Instead of answering, Celestia simply smiled sheepishly, levitating the tea pot to Conner. Conner chuckled softly and presented his palm. Celestia gently placed the tea pot on Conner's hand and watched as his hand glowed white. A few moments later steam rose from the sprout.

With his other hand Conner grabbed the tea pot and poured the hot brown liquid into the two cups, presenting one to Celestia.

Celestia magically grabbed the offered tea cup and blew gently on it before sipping from it, humming in delight. "I hope you do not mind that I use you as my royal tea warmer. Your magic makes the flavor so much more profound.

"If it makes you happy Celestia than I don't mind," Conner replied, sipping from his own cup.

Celestia blushed at the compliment, giving Conner a gentle kiss on the cheek before looking at him worriedly. "Now, how about you tell me what is bothering you."

Conner sighed, looking deeply into his cup before gazing back into Celestia's eyes. He always felt a certain wave of serenity when he gazed into her eyes. "It's my brother, Edmund."

"Is it about what happened earlier today?" Celestia pressed on.

"Y-Yes… No… partially… I just can't seem to understand him. He's so reckless at times and it's driving me up the walls. Sometimes it baffles me how the two of us are twins when he acts like a child."

"But he is not a child, Conner. He is a grown man capable of making his own decisions. And besides, his antics never hurt anypony, well, anypony who did not deserve it."

"But he gets hurt. A lot," Conner replied. "What is something went down during the raid this morning? What if he got badly injured and I wasn't there to protect him? He's my brother Celestia, we've been through so much. I can't lose him."

Celestia smiled sadly, she knew exactly how he felt. She extended her wing and allowed Conner to lean closer against her. "Your lives were never easy, were they?" she asked.

Conner shook his head. "No, ever since I can remember myself, Edmund and I were homeless. We lived in the slums of the Imperial City, where all the homeless and undesirables resided. We've never been outside the great walls of the city. What little money we did manage to get we spent on food and books." A small smile tugged at Conner's lips. "I remember telling stories to Edmund when we were little, about the great dwarven mines of Duran-Kahn , or the royal halls of the elven lords. Books were the only way we could escape from our bleak existence."

Conner then sighed. "But Edmund did not know how to read, only I did. He spent most of his days picking fights and fooling around, and I would watch him with envy."

"You envied your brother?" Celestia asked, mildly surprised. From what she could tell, there was nothing in their former lives to be envy.

Conner merely nodded. "Well, how could I not. We were homeless. No roof over our heads and almost no food. And yet, he always had a positive outlook on things. No matter how bad things got, Edmund remained optimistic. But when we got here, this optimism became recklessness and foolishness. We were redeemed by a stroke of pure luck, every moment is a gift. Why risk it? We now have everything we could have hoped for and more, and yet…"

Celestia hugged Conner close to her barrel, stroking his hair. "You care greatly for your brother Conner, but you must understand that you will not always be by his side. Edmund will make mistakes, he will get hurt, and he will learn from them. Sheltering him won't do him any good and he will ultimately resent you for it."

"Is this experience I hear in your voice?" Conner asked.

Celestia did not answer. Instead she kept stroking Conner's hair until he fell asleep. Celestia gently lifted Conner on her back and flew back to their shared chambers…"

Morning came too early for Edmund. He was still mentally exhausted after yesterday's fight with his brother and although his chat with Luna did help, he was not sure if he was ready to confront Conner.

Conner must have felt the same thing because today's breakfast was the very definition of awkward.

The twins ate silently, not uttering a single word. They did not even look at each other. The princesses exchanged meaningful looks, coming to a silent agreement.

"Did you sleep well you two?" Celestia broke the silence.

"I suppose," Edmund answered.

"Yeah… sure," Conner replied.

"Real smooth Tia," Luna whispered into Celestia's ear.

Celestia frowned and faced Luna. "Oh, and I suppose you have got a better idea?" she whispered.

"As a matter of fact I do." Luna cleared her throat, gaining the attention of the two men. "Conner."

"Yes Luna?"

"Edmund is really sorry about yesterday."

Edmund did a spit take, choking as water went down the wrong pipe. "Why- ack- did you tell him that?!" he cried.

"Edmund…" Edmund stopped glaring at Luna, instead looking at Conner with a mixed look of embarrassment and anxiousness. "Edmund is that true?"

"I… yes… yes I am. I know that I can sometimes be a little reckless, I can't help it sometimes," Edmund confessed.

Conner nodded and looked to the side. "Yeah, I suppose I overreacted a little myself. I know that you always have the city's best interests at the forefront of your mind, and that you are very… passionate about our jobs, but seeing you rush head first into danger like that...  it scares me."

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that you are worried about me?" Edmund asked.

"Can you blame me, you are my brother Edmund. I know that when we fight we sometimes get a little heated-" Conner rubbed his crystalline eye absentmindedly. "-but I still care for you."

Edmund looked down, suddenly feeling guilty. "I… didn't know you felt that way.  If it's worth anything I care for you too."

"So, no hard feelings?"

Edmund looked up at Conner, his eyes reflected with hope. Edmund smiled "Sure, no hard feelings…"