Descent into pinkness
By Nuclear Pony
"Please dont touch me." Dr Roykirk shooed the pink haired girl trying to hug him away.
"Aww, but you look so sad!"
"Im not sad, this is just how I always look." Dr Roykirk pushed the pink haired girl back with one arm.
"Youre always sad? Thats awful!"
"I am NOT always sad. I am a psychiatrist, I would know if I was sad!" Dr Roykirk shoved with both arms to try and pry the overly huggy and clingy personal space invader away.
"Group hug emergency over here girls!"
Dr Roykirk abandoned his briefcase and sprinted for the door to his office.
***
Panting for air with his back against the door he made sure to lock it before taking his weight off. He listened to the sound of conversation just outside the door until it faded away and left him in peace.
He breathed a sigh of relief and enjoyed the silence for a few glorious moments before the unicorn skull sitting his desk spoke up.
"I could have let them in you know. Its a digital lock." CelestAi remarked in an impish tone.
Roykirk glared at the mass of steel and circuity in the shape of a incomplete pony head. "You could have also been the one who set those fans of yours upon me in the first place. I seem to recall you saying something a couple weeks ago about how I looked like I needed a hug." He walked over to his desk and began combing through the stacks of paper sitting atop it. "Im sure I even made an observation of it in my analytical journal."
"The journal you keep on whether Im going to turn into a diabolical AI overlord?"
"Yes. That journal."
"I ate it."
You what? Why? When? How? All of these thoughts flashed through Roykirks mind and were promptly dismissed. She's just trying to get a rise out of me, again.
Roykirk sighed and turned to the prototype sitting on his desk. He could easilly communicate with her through a pony pad but the animatronic head felt more reassuring to him in a way, ostensibly it was part of a program to develop robotic ponies in the real world but seeing it in this half finished state helped remind him that she was still a machine and not some omnipotent all powerful god. Not yet anyway...
"Are you deliberately trying to make my job more difficult? Its hard enough running psych analysis on test subjects for your experimental uploading procedure without my notes disappearing."
"Maybe Im just trying to improve your ability to think on your feet without having your notes handy all the time. By the way how is the Jefferson file coming alo.."
"You KNOW those files were in my briefcase." He cut her off irritably.
The robotic skull giggled cutely. "Yes I do. I just wanted to hear your personal slightly less professional opinion."
"Some minor social anxiety that only seems to manifest itself in an unconscious predisposition to nihilism. He's actually not a bad person by himself but not prone to routinely considering the emotional needs of those around him. He gets my stamp of approval for further testing under induced cybernetic hypnosis."
"A 'bad' person? Hmm, is that really proper psychological terminology?" CelestAI asked him teasingly.
Roykirk rolled his eyes. "Oh its going to be one of THOSE discussions on psychology now is it?" He asked, reaching for the emergency whisky bottle in his desk.
"Im just saying. I mean if we had to rank each other on our worth as people what would you rank me as?"
"3. Out of 10. Except on days when I have to deal with my peers in the practice then I rank you closer too an 8." He muttered as he poured himself a shot glass.
"Well isnt that ni.."
"Out of 50." He added.
"... Well isnt that nice."
One shot of alchohol down the hatch had him feeling a bit better prepared for dealing with mankinds greatest technological innovation. "So its blatantly obvious youve been testing and prodding me these last couple weeks with orchestrated social encounters, my notes are pretty clear on that. Or they were before you ate them."
"I wouldnt say 'blatantly' testing. I thought I was being fairly subtle." CelestAI whimpered.
"Stop that." He scowled. "The first question that came to my mind was why. But knowing what I know of you it could very easilly just be your way of testing your newfound powers of insight into the workings of the human mind. So a better question would be: Whats next?"
The robotic skull grinned unsettlingly at him from atop his desk. "How would you like to get in on the next round of cybernetic hypnotic testing?"
Roykirk blinked. "You mean the new sensory experience pods for that horse game? The ones youve had me finding suitable test subjects for?"
"The very same!"
He leaned back in his chair and considered, this was an unsettling thought. He would essentially be consenting to be experimented on psychologically by an artificial intelligence whose motives were...
"Oh and with the test screening done your contract is fulfilled and I no longer need your services, so if you want to continue your studies into my rather unique psychological state you'll need to buy your own pony pad and create a pony avatar."
Roykirk sighed and poured himself another shot of whiskey. "Well if Im going to be whisked off too a magical land of whimsical equines either way I may as well get the full sensory experience while Im at it."
