Don't Mess with the Mail Mare

by Blackbird2

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Roseluck, Original Character, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves, DJ P0N-3
Length: 3117

A new delivery mare has opened business in Ponyville. A fact that does not sit well with a certain wall eyed Pegasus...

Ditzy Doo loves being the mailmare. Sure she may make the occasional mix up here and there but she still tries her best! But she knows that a lot of folks in Ponyville don't see it that way. So when a new delivery mare shows up she feels her very livelihood is threatened. And she's not going to take it lying down! It is SO on! Now if only somepony would tell this other Pegasus that.

Published 2015-11-14 07:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-14 07:00:02 UTC

Don't Mess with the Mail Mare

Don’t Mess with the Mail Mare

The sun shined brightly on a beautiful day in Ponyville. The citizens all went about their daily routines with smiles on their faces and a song in their heart. Which was thanks to a certain pink pony in town could break out into a full on musical number at any moment. One of those ponies ready for such an occasion was a wall-eyed Pegasus humming to herself as she made her daily mail rounds. Ditzy smiled cheerfully as she place another batch of letters into the mailbox in front of her then flipped the lid closed with her tail as she turned to move onto the next one. She stopped dead in her tracks, however, when she spotted Roseluck talking to another pony in her doorway. Normally she wouldn’t pay much attention to it but what caught her mismatched eye was the earth pony giving the white Pegasus a package which she then placed in one of her saddlebags. While that itself wasn’t too off the fact that this other Pegasus had a box with wings as her Cutie Mark made Ditzy suspicious. As was the fact that she wore a light gray vest full of pockets along with her saddlebags. Then what really tipped her off that something was wrong was that she was holding out some kind of invoice for Roseluck to sign. Ditzy narrowed her eyes then crouched down to sneak over towards the two to hear their conversation better.

“So you’re sure you can get this to Canterlot by tomorrow?” Roseluck asked the green haired Pegasus.

“Of course! Speedy deliveries are my specialty!” she replied confidently.

Ditzy gasped in horror. So she was delivering packages! That was her job! Just who did she think she was?! Well the gray mare was determined to get to the bottom of that! She waited until the offending Pegasus flew off then she spread her own wings and shot off into the sky to get ahead of her. She swooped up to hover just in front of her, causing the other Pegasus to suddenly flail her legs around and flap her wings backwards to keep from running into her.

“Whoa!” she shouted in surprise. “Watch it now!”

Ditzy didn’t respond to her comment and instead placed her forehooves on her hips and glared at the mare, forcing her eyes to be as straight as they could.

“Who do you think you are?!” she demanded.

“Um...I’m...Carry All,” the other Pegasus replied, idly brushing the one braid in her chin length hair past her left ear.

“And what do you think you’re doing ‘Carry All’?”

Carry All’s violet eyes searched around as if some joke was being played on her.

“Delivering packages?” she asked, completely unsure of the whole situation.

“Well guess what? I deliver the mail in this town!” Ditzy announced, jabbing a hoof into her own chest before she pointed it at Carry All “If you deliver the mail here we’re gonna have problems!”

“But I’m not delivering letters, I’m just doing packages,” she clarified.

“Oh well let me see, what else comes in the mail aside from letters?” Ditzy commented with heavy sarcasm and rubbing her chin in fake thought. “Oh that’s right, packages!”

Carry All found herself at a loss for words. So instead she simply started flying around the crazy mare.

“Look I’ve got work to do sooo...” she mumbled then shot off faster than Ditzy could keep track of.

“Hey! Hey get back here!” she shouted and thought of going after her but decided it was best to get back to her own work. “Eh she’s not worth it. Probably won’t see her again anyway.”

( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - )

Unfortunately for Ditzy she did see her again. Multiple times. In fact over the course of the next few weeks it seemed like wherever she went Carry All was there. For every house she delivered the mail to, Carry All was a few houses ahead of her either dropping off or picking up a package. When she went to city hall, she was there. When she went to the Princess Twilight’s new castle, she was there. Even when she’d make special runs to Cloudsdale, Carry All was there! It was driving her mad! She tried to take her mind off it for a bit by taking Dinky to Hay Burger for a Cheery Bag when who should she spot at the counter as soon as they walk in? Carry All!

“Oh come on!” she screamed, earning her the confused glances of the patrons around her.

She offered them an embarrassed wave back as Dinky hid her face behind her hoof. Thankfully they quickly went back to their own meals and conversations. Ditzy let out a relieved sigh then looked down at her daughter.

“Come on Muffin, let’s go somewhere else,” she suggested.

“But mom, I’m hungry now,” Dinky protested. “Besides they have the new Daring Do toys in and I need to finish the set before Lyra beats me too it. Again.”

“Okay,” the grey mare sighed again.

They stepped up to the counter just as Carry All was turning around with a food tray around her neck.

“Whoa!” she called out, stopping just in time to avoid splattering her food over the other mare. Which is right when she realized who that other mare was. “Oh it’s you. Listen, no hard feelings from before, right? I mean we’re both just trying to do our jobs.”

Ditzy merely glared at her in response.

“Oookay then,” Carry All replied, once again feeling uncomfortable under her two way stare. “Well I’m gonna go eat sooo...see ya around I guess.”

She then awkwardly sidestepped the other Pegasus and walked over to one of the far booths to get away from her. Ditzy continued to glare daggers into her until she heard the mare behind the counter call for the next costumer.

“Will this be for here or to go?” she asked politely.

“To go!” Ditzy exclaimed, pounding her hoof on the counter.

( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - )

Later that evening, Ditzy was over at Vinyl’s house venting her frustrations about the whole situation while the DJ sorted through her records.

“She’s everywhere I go!” Ditzy shouted as she threw her forehooves in the air and flew around in the room in a circle. “I swear everypony is against me! It’s one of those things. You know...what do you call them?”

“A conspiracy?” Vinyl offered.

“Yeah! That! They’re trying to replace me with this new mare! All because I make a couple of mistakes here and there. And I haven’t even done that in a month! A whole month!”

“I’m sure they’re not trying to replace you Ditzy. You’re just being a bit paranoid. Just take a deep breath and calm down,” the unicorn suggested then stopped and blinked. “Whoa. Being the rational one is weird. I bet this is what Tavi feels like. Like all the time.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Ditzy sighed as she floated down to the floor and hung her head. “But it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened. Like when I lost my job at Boxy’s moving service cause I accidentally dropped a few things. On Twilight. But to be fair I didn’t know she was down there and it’s not like I was trying to hit her! I just...drop things sometimes.”

Vinyl walked up to her and placed a comforting hoof around her shoulders.

“Look I know you’re a good mare Ditzy and so does everypony else in town. Yeah you may be a little clumsy but, hey, that’s what we like about you. Heck it can lead to some really funny stuff!” she told her, adding an amused chuckle at the end.

“I guess. I just don’t like being known as ‘the clumsy, weird looking mare’. Can’t I be something more than that?” Ditzy asked almost desperately.

“Course you can be. In fact you already are!”

“Really?” she asked, her mismatched eyes brightening.

“Yeah. You’re my friend!” Vinyl replied then gave her a big, comforting hug.

“Awww! Thanks Vinyl!” Ditzy said as she returned the hug.

A knock at the door broke up their touching moment. Vinyl disentangled herself from Ditzy and walked over to the door to pull it open. In an unfortunate bit of timing, it turned out that the subject of their conversation was standing right behind it.

“Package for Vinyl Scratch,” Carry All announced.

“Oh. Heh heh. Yeah...forgot I ordered that. This is...awkward,” Vinyl laughed nervously.

“Um, why?” the white Pegasus remarked before she heard a gasp behind the unicorn.

When she looked over Vinyl’s shoulder she found Ditzy looking shocked and hurt.

“Oh,” Carry All mumbled.

“Et tu, Vinyl?” Ditzy asked, heart broken.

“Ye-wait, what?” the DJ asked, taken off guard by her friend’s choice of words.

“Look I don’t know what’s going on, I just want to deliver this record and be on my way,” Carry All stated.

“Don’t bother. I was just leaving!” Ditzy remarked before she pushed her way past Vinyl and Carry All and flew way.

“No wait! Ditzy, come back!” Vinyl called out in vain.

Carry All watched her fly off then shook her head and looked towards Vinyl.

“You’re her friend, right?” she asked.

“Yeah but I don’t feel like much of one right now,” the unicorn sighed.

“Then what is her deal? She keeps thinking I’m gonna take her job, which I’m not, then is just rude to me every time I see her! I’m kind of annoyed by it but at the same time I feel like I’m doing something to upset her but I don’t know what or how to fix it!”

“Well Ditzy’s kinda....complicated,” Vinyl told her.

“So what, I’m gonna have to keep avoiding her for...ever?” Carry All asked.

The white unicorn rubbed her chin in thought for a second then smile wildly as the perfect solution hit her.

“Actually I think there is something you can do...”

( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - ) ( - )

The next day, Ditzy was doing some cleaning up around the house, mostly messes she herself had accidently caused, when she was disturbed by a knock on the door. She set the feather duster down a nearby table then flew over to the door and pulled it open. Somehow she was not surprised to see Carry All on the other side smiling brightly at her.

“Oh. It’s you,” she said in annoyed tone.

“Hello!” Carry All greeted cheerfully.

“Look I’m busy right now so you can just go,” Ditzy remarked in a curt tone as she started to close the door.

“Wait! I have something for you!” the other Pegasus called out quickly.

“I don’t want it!” the gray mare declared past the ever shutting door.

“I think you do!” Carry All remarked then held up a large gift basket of muffins in front of her face.

“Muffins!” Ditzy remarked almost instinctually as she threw the door back open.

Carry All then peaked out from behind the basket with a hopeful smile on her face.

“Look, I think we got off on the wrong hoof here. Mind if I come in and talk a bit?” she asked.

Ditzy furrowed her brow in dismay but the sight of all those glorious, delicious muffins was too much for her.

“Alright fine. Just make it quick. And bring the muffins!” she exclaimed.

“That’s the plan,” Carry All remarked as she floated into the house.

Ditzy led her into the kitchen where she placed the basket down on the table before they sat down on either side to face each other. Or as least as much as they could around the muffin basket. Not wasting any time, Ditzy tore the plastic off with surprising efficiency and dived right into chomping down on one of the larger muffins. Carry All was a bit surprised by this reaction but Vinyl did mention that she really liked muffins. She waited until she finished the first one, which wasn’t long at all, before she spoke up.

“So let me get this out there right away, I am not trying to take your job. And I never was,” she started.

“Then why are you delivering packages?” Ditzy asked as she pulled out another muffin.

“Because I’ve always been good at delivering stuff,” Carry All replied with a shrug. “I’ve always been fast and efficient and I thought maybe I could translate that into carrying stuff from one place to another. That’s about when I got my Cutie Mark so I figured that’s what I would do. I mean I’m no contender for the Wonderbolts or anything but I’m pretty fast I like to think.”

“So why packages? Why not something else like...um....uh...well...other stuff?”

“Because there are some ponies who get frustrated having to wait for the mail to sort out their packages so I thought why not having something that just specializes in packages? So I came up with the EPS.”

“‘EPS’?” Ditzy asked in confusion.

“The Equestrian Pegasus Service! Proudly and quickly delivering your packages all over Equestria!” Carry All beamed happily.

“Kind of a mouthful isn’t it?” she asked, ironically with a mouthful of muffin.

“Yeah I’m still working on a good, catchy slogan,” the other mare confessed. “I guess that isn’t one of my strong suits.” She sighed then looked back up at Ditzy. “But again I’m focusing strictly on packages and things like that. No letters. Trust me I have no desire to run the post office out of business.”

“Well you got a funny way of showing it,” the blonde pony muttered. “I've actually been delivering less packages since you showed up.”

“But you’re still moving letters and the like, right?”

“Well...yeah.”

“Then there ya go,” Carry All mused.

Ditzy sighed and lowered her head onto the table.

“Yeah...I guess,” she mumbled then looked up at Carry All as best she could. “And I’m sorry I’ve been rude it’s just...a lot of ponies don’t like me. Especially some bosses I’ve had over the years.”

“Why do you say that?” Carry All asked sincerely.

“Mostly because of this!” Ditzy exclaimed, waving a hoof in front of her mismatched eyes. “Then there’s the fact that I’m not the brightest bulb in the drawer.”

“Uh...you mean ‘on the tree’?” she other Pegasus offered.

“Yeah...” she replied with an embarrassed blush. “See? I get things mixed up sometimes and I can be a bit...clumsy. So because of that lots of ponies thing I’m stupid and not good for anything. It’s been really hard to deal with.”

“I’m sure. Sorry you had to go through that. And sorry I made you feel like I was trying to take away your job,” Carry All told her softly.

“No. No it’s not your fault,” Ditzy sighed then sat back up and took another muffin from the basket. “Vinyl was right, I’m just paranoid about these things cause I’m so used to ponies trying to take things from me ‘for my own good’.” She looked down at the muffin remorsefully. “Including my daughter.”

“Oh my Celestia,” Carry All gasped. “Why would they do that?!”

The other mare narrowed her eyes. “They think I’m an unfit mother because of all those things I said before. So I have to work extra hard to prove I’m not. So I get a little defensive sometimes. But I also realize I was acting like a jerk and I’m sorry.”

“No it’s okay. I definitely get it now,” the green haired Pegasus said. “But I do think there is room in this town for the both of us. And heck, how about this? If the post office really does lay you off I’ll give you a job at EPS. That sound good to you?”

Ditzy’s eyes widened in touched surprise.

“Really?! You’d do that for me?!” she exclaimed.

“Of course. I’m gonna need to hire some more ponies soon anyway since business is really starting to pick up,” she informed her.

“Well I appreciate it but I’m not really to leave the post office just yet.”

“Oh of course not. Just consider it an open invitation,” Carry All clarified.

After a brief pause she spoke up again.

“So...are we cool?”

Ditzy seemed to contemplate this for a moment as she slowly chewed the last bit of her latest muffin. Once she swallowed it she smiled brightly at the other mare.

“Yeah, we’re cool,” she told her. “Especially since you brought me these delicious muffins!”

Carry All giggled. “Yeah your friend told me those would help.” She then stood up and stretched a bit. “Well I’m glad we could work this out. Now if you’ll excuse me I should probably get back to it. See you around, right?”

“Yep!” Ditzy cheered. “See you and thanks for the muffins!”

“Not a problem,” she replied then headed towards the door.

Ditzy took her mind off her muffins long enough to show her guest out and waved to her as she flew off. She smile to herself as she closed the door and walked back to towards the kitchen and the waiting basket.

“Eh she’s not so bad,” she mused.

The End

Author's Note

So this story came about after I was messing around with the Pony Creator and came up with this character: http://blackbird2.deviantart.com/art/ Carry-All-448047082 who I then decided was a delivery pony named Carry All. Course after that I realized that she was kinda stepping on Ditzy’s hooves since she was the mail mare for Ponyville which presumably also deliver packages. So I thought of how Ditzy would handle it and this fic was born. I’m sure some might think she’s a little harsh in this story but I also hope I gave her an adequate reason to be. But hey as most things in MLP do, it worked itself out for the best.

Now I’m sure some might be wondering why I put Vinyl in there as Ditzy’s friend instead of Carrot Top who she’s usually seen with in fan art and such. Well the reason is twofold. One I wanted to play up the whole Background 6 idea and make them all friends and thus confide in each other from time to time. Two, I just wanted to work in my favorite background pony. Cheap, yes but I regret nothing!

Hope you all enjoyed this little slice-of-life story featuring our favorite wall eyed Pegasus.