Discord's Day

by Roxxi

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Discord
Length: 4716

There are many statues in the Castle Gardens, many are beautiful, one however, is quite different.

In the gardens of the castle, the home of Equestria’s princess sisters, Celestia and Luna, there are many statues. Some depict brave ponies in the midst of equally brave deeds. There are some of the princesses, mostly the eldest sister, Princess Celestia, but that was to be expected, seeing as the younger, Princess Luna, had previously resided in the moon for a thousand years as Nightmare Moon. A few are made purely for decorative purposes, or to show support for local artists.

There is, however, a statue that is attributed to none of these reasons, a statue that depicts something terrible and frightening even as a statue. This statue is the current form of a draconequus by the almost ironically appropriate name of Discord.

Published 2012-06-03 19:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-03 19:14:02 UTC

Just Another Day

Canterlot Castle Gardens

In the gardens of the castle, the home of Equestria’s princess sisters, Celestia and Luna, there are many statues. Some depict brave ponies in the midst of equally brave deeds. There are some of the princesses, mostly the eldest sister, Princess Celestia, but that was to be expected, seeing as the younger, Princess Luna, had previously resided in the moon for a thousand years as Nightmare Moon. A few are made purely for decorative purposes, or to show support for local artists.

There is, however, a statue that is attributed to none of these reasons, a statue that depicts something terrible and frightening even as a statue. This statue is the current form of a draconequus by the almost ironically appropriate name of Discord. A tyrant with a sense of twisted humor who almost succeeded in destroying the bond between the bearers of the Elements of Harmony and turning Equestria into his own topsy-turvy playground of chaos.

He sits day after day, night after night in this garden, watching all of those who cross by him, none of which give him more than a passing glance. Most of the glances are filled with confusion at how anything so hideous could come into being. Discord didn’t think he was hideous; he was a very handsome… Well he was very handsome in his mind; let’s leave it at that.

It was dark when he awoke, as he had always made a habit of waking up early. He enjoyed the sunrise that Princess Celestia created as she raised her sun slowly across the sky. Just because he reveled in oddities such as randomizing the positions of the sun and moon did not meant that he didn’t enjoy the aesthetic pleasures of things like a natural sunrise every now and then.

Ah! There it is, the oh so beautiful sunrise my dear Celestia controls. I wonder if she’s ever considered making the sun a different color for a day, just to spice things up a bit, hm? The living statue mused to himself, as he often did to pass time, he even held conversations with himself, as he was really the only one who would ever listen.

You know, now that I think of it, I’m not sure anypony CAN hear me. I would assume not, but it never hurts to try something crazy, right? Yes Discord, you always were an innovator, unlike these dreadfully blasé ponies. I mean honestly! The only one who seemed to be on the right track was that little pink pony who helped shut me in here. Now there was a fellow visionary, she appreciated my chocolate rain you know. Of course I know, we’re the same person my good fellow!”

Discord chortled to himself, good? Him? That was a truly laughable idea, he never really considered himself to be good or bad in any sense of either word. He was… flexible, he supposed was the right description for his way of life.

Or would you say previous lifestyle? We aren’t really doing any sort of living, I wouldn’t think so at least. Are we? You know, I never gave that matter any thought, but I wouldn’t say previous, I don’t plan on changing the way I do things, not when chaos and confusion are such beautiful works of art, do we? No, I guess we don’t, we’re far too enthralled with the ever changing joys our creation of chaos brings. Deciding that his life choices were far too enjoyable to change brought a sense of self-satisfaction to the draconequus. After all, if you lost your sense of self, then you couldn’t help others realize your views and beliefs were more fun to view and believe, right?

Normally, Discord would subjected to only a few ponies every now and then during the day passing his stone prison, but it seemed today that fate was being just a smidgen nicer to him, which he welcomed. Any change of pace was an easily acceptable thing for someone as flexible, not only in spine, but also in mind as well. Today Princess Celestia was holding her court appearances outside, and by either a stroke of luck on Discord’s part or kindness on Celestia’s, she was holding them in close proximity to his statue, right in his limited view line in fact.

Oh Princess! Priiiiiiiiincess! Puh-rina-cess Sell-ehs-teahhhhhh! Yoo-hoo! Dearest Celestia, over here! Discord called out cheerfully, testing his earlier hypothesis on whether or not he could be heard, in any form at all. Alas, we have failed, haven’t we? Tis a shame old bean, we could have made things much more interesting around here if I could, couldn’t I?”

For the next few hours, Discord was a silent witness to the court proceedings, not that anypony would have considered asking him to a stand if an argument had broken out over a decree later on. He may have been deceitful, but he never lied. Not out right at least and that was good enough, wasn’t it?

I had NO idea my sweet Celestia had it so rough, she should have listened and just made a spinning wheel with various words on it and used that to decide things. That’s how I would have done thing, much more refreshing, don’t we think?

Discord frowned; a new question had cropped up into his thoughts. Tell me, why do we have such an odd mannerism about our speech? It seems vexing to us when I think about the way our conversations are carried. The silence that met him for the next few minutes was deafening to him.

I… Well you know what we’ve done? We’ve confused myself, haven’t we? Oh this is rich; you haven’t the foggiest why I speak to ourselves in this maddeningly flawed way! Oh, it sends shivers down my limestone and granite spine to make such an incredible discovery! Indeed, Discord could feel a trembling vibration running down his back between his wings.

Wait, was he getting free? Would he soon be able to spread discordant and chaotic madness all over Equestria?

No, no he would not, he sighed to himself, as the source of the almost masseuse like vibrations moved to his chest and he spied a maintenance pony with a power washer scrubbing the layer of dirt of him.

Eh? Hold on a second, I could have sworn the Princess was here seconds ago! Where is she? YOU! Work pony who cleans my rocky home! Tell me where Celestia has gone! Discord scowled at himself, the unicorn before him would not be able to hear him if the mighty alicorn in charge of the sun could not. He looked up and noticed the sun had moved a few feet, perspectively speaking anyways, in the sky, making this…

Mid afternoon, correct? Yes, yes, I believe it is some time after noon. Odd, I didn’t think our debate on your speech patterns had taken that much of my time. So absent minded today, aren’t I?

He sighed, this was a common occurrence as well, losing track of time. Hours could become seconds, seconds could become days, and it was interesting to say the least. Wait, if it IS noon, then we should receive our weekly aerial acrobatics show soon, shouldn’t I? Ah! There it is! There it was indeed, a thunderous boom, an explosion of color, and a streaking blur across the sky closely pursued by a contrail of rainbow. The Sonic Rainboom, Discord believed that’s what the name was, was the specialty of the Element of Loyalty, a pegasus who he had played with the last time he was free.

Oh what was her name? Dashing Rain? Rain Dash? No… that is close though, hmmmm… Rainbow Dash! Yes, that was her name! I must admit, that colorful display of prismatic chaos is rather admirable; I sometimes wish I could perform one of those. Why was she here though? I can’t recall off the tip of my claw what the reason was. He pondered this for a moment and the memory of a fleeting conversation he over heard between the pegasus with the disastrously unkempt rainbow mane, and Celestia’s favorite little unicorn, Twilight Sparkle.

1 Month Ago

“Whoa, no way! You got Princess Celestia to give the go ahead?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed excitedly as her lavender unicorn friend returned from the princess’s palace and back to the garden where Dash had been waiting. Twilight Sparkle nodded, looking a little pleased with herself.

“Mhmm, I told her that would like to use the airspace here for you training for the upcoming Pegasus Gladiator Games in Cloudsdale, and being her prized pupil, she agreed to your request. I think she said something about how your Rainbooms would liven things up, like at the Gala.” Twilight said with a thoughtful look on her face. “But yes, she says you’re more than welcome to use the gardens, the towers of the castle, and the surrounding airspace for your training. What did you say the Pegasus Gladiator Games were again?” She tilted her head to look at the cyan pegasus beside her.

The statue of the draconequus, who was a mere ten feet away, also curious as to what event had the pegasus so enthralled, was asking this same question.

“The PGGs are the most extreme events in the pegasus sports world! The best fliers from all over Equestria come together at the Cloudiseum to show off their speed” Dash struck a pose with her wings spread out. “Agility” She twisted around and pretended to weave in and out of invisible obstacles. “And style.” She struck another pose, this one looking heroic and powerful. “It’s like 20% cooler than anything you’ve ever seen! And this year, the Wonderbolts are going to be celebrity judges, just like at the Best Young Flier’s Competition!” Rainbow Dash squealed in a fan-girlish fashion at the thought of her idols being their.

Twilight just smiled, not really seeing how this could be “20% cooler” than anything she had ever seen. She had seen the autographed magic tome written by Starswirl the Bearded after all. Now that was cool.

“Well, just make sure to be here every week at noon, okay? And I’m sure you’ll do great Rainbow Dash, we’ll be there to cheer you on again.” Twilight smiled, and the pair walked off, Rainbow Dash talking animatedly while Twilight Sparkle just nodded empathetically ever now and then.

Present Day

You know, now that I think about it, they were walking a little too close, don’t you think? Could they be..? No, they couldn’t, could they? Discord wondered, were the two mares in a relationship? They couldn’t be, that would cause some sort of chaos, wouldn’t it? The streaking rainbow touched down somewhere to his left and a short few minutes later, the owner of said rainbow was walking by his area of the garden with her lavender unicorn friend.

“How awesome was my Sonic Rainboom Twi’? Wasn’t it totally radical? Huh? Huh?” The sky blue pegasus was certainly very energized today, the mute terror observed. She could that energy to a better use, like making Sonic Rainbooms near quiet zones at hospitals, or near fragile windows and china shops. Discord chuckled, thinking of all the fun that kind of stunt would bring about.

“Yes Dash, it was very impressive, I think you’ll really wow the judges next week.” Twilight smiled and leaned over to the mare beside her, placing a small kiss on her cheek. “You always impress me.” Rainbow Dash blushed immediately.

“St-stop it Twi’, you know how I feel about all that mushy stuff.” She declared, rather unconvincingly if you asked Discord. Twilight grinned and kissed her again, on the lips this time.

“Sure, and yet you never complain when I-” Discord couldn’t believe his ceramic ears. Was that even possible? “And with the-” Dear Celestia, what book did she read THAT in? “And the thing with the apples-” What would their farm pony friend think if she knew THAT was going on in her orchards? “And I know you like it when I dress up as Spitfire and-” Oh now that was something no filly or colt should see. Or hear, for that matter. And the whole time Twilight was rattling off risqué activities Rainbow Dash’s blush was steadily darkening, until she looked like a rainbow maned tomato.

And true to the “Turnabout is fair play” phrase, Rainbow Dash retaliated with her own repertoire of depraved acts.

“Oh yeah? Well you squeal every time I-” He would have blanched if it were possible for him to do so, did she say something about an eggbeater? “The look on your face when I use my wings and-” Er… Well it was creative, and that was being generous. “That one sound you make when I take the carrots and-” Discord was suddenly turned off the idea of ever having carrots as a snack again. “You wanna talk about Spitfire? What about when you use that spell to make me look like Princess Celestia and have me-” What would Celestia think if she knew her precious student fantasized about her that way? The triumphantly grinning Rainbow Dash certainly had a naughtier bag of tricks than Miss Sparkle did, that fact was made painfully aware to the now mentally scarred draconequus.

Mercifully, the pair walked away and out of sight and earshot. I don’t think even I would do half of those things. We must never speak of this moment again, agreed? Agreed, most assuredly agreed. That was.. That was quite disturbing… I think you may never recover from that. Discord shuddered inwardly, he hoped he never had to sit through anything that horrifying again. Some of those things shouldn’t even be thought of, let alone practiced.

The sun was starting to set now, and Discord watched as the light from Celestia’s fading sun made the gardens appear to be on fire. Humph, if only they were. Add a little bit of a cozy charm to the place, wouldn’t we agree? Yes, yes, such charms are always nice when they’re born of disasters, I could not agree more with ourselves. He noticed the moon starting its nightly climb into the starry sky. As much as he liked the sunlight, nighttime as a whole was far more entertaining. The shadows played dastardly tricks on the imaginations of young ponies, and those always lead to fright filled screams.

Speaking of nighttime frights, a certain midnight mare was making her way to his statue. Finally, some intelligent conversation he could get into, even if his responses went unheard.

Why hello little Luna, to what do I owe this honor? You know I love our little chats. Discord greeted the princess cordially. When she spoke, Discord had thought she had actually heard him for a moment.

“Hello Discord, how are you faring? Did my sister’s sun treat you well this day?” Princess Luna spoke, almost genially, which was not at all strange or unusual for her when she was talking to him. She always seemed to be more relaxed around him. Whether it was the fact he could not move, or the fact he was a ‘mere’ statue, he was never sure. Maybe she just sympathized with his plight. After all, she too was once stuck in a rock at one point in time.

Tell me Luna, how proceeds the events of your day? I guarantee you have had more interesting things to do than I have. Well perhaps not today, that bit with the Element bearers was interesting in its own right Discord mused, his attempts to rid himself of the memory failing.

“Today was rather uneventful. For me at least, my sister had her hooves full with the usual court proceedings, so I occupied my time with research, care to hear?” Luna tilted her head, as if she were waiting for a reply. She continued anyways, unperturbed by the silence, as she had come to expect it. “My research had pulled forth some very interesting results; you might be interested in it. I may have found a way to give you your ability to speak, even as a statue, though it would appear it currently only works on the full moon, which isn’t for a few weeks, unfortunately.” She looked a little ashamed, as if this were terrible news that was her fault.

Discord was downright ecstatic to hear this revelation. My dear princess, this is the best news anypony has spoken in my vicinity in… well let us say it was very long time since anypony had anything good to say to me. Discord would’ve been smiling wryly, and possibly looking at Princess Luna with admiration. To be able to talk again, if only once a month would be a welcome change pf pace. Finally he would be able to speak back to his new found, dare he say it, friend.

“Oh if only you had changed like I had after the, uh, Nightmare Moon fiasco.” The lunar alicorn looked a bit sheepish as she recalled the trouble she had gotten into as her alter ego. “Perhaps you could be allowed to be free, or at least have a little more freedom of movement in the gardens. Maybe when I bring back you communicative abilities, I can work you around to a better side of things; maybe make Celestia see that you are not as bad as you were. I can change you, like Twilight Sparkle and her friends changed me, wouldn’t that be fantastic?” Princess Luna seemed genuinely happy at the thought of a less discordant Discord, but what would that make him? Cord? Dis? Procord?

Discord let the younger of the alicorn sisters ramble on about her day, her thoughts, and her research while he reevaluated his feelings.

Did he like Celestia? Well yes, he still did, but he noticed the feelings for her that he used to hold were not as strong as they had been previously. Did he like Luna? She was growing on him, and he had to admit, she was looking more beautiful than he had realized. Did they have any common interest? Apart from Celestia-Brand imprisonment, and Element of Harmony run-ins, he wasn’t sure of anything major. He ran through everything he remembered hearing from her in their conversations from before.

They both enjoyed night flying, pranking ponies was enjoyable for them both, though Discord was more inclined to add logic-threatening twists into his, but that could worked on for the right price. Luna, surprisingly, enjoyed merely sitting in the gardens and being around him, and Discord admitted he was fond of the versa to this vice. He enjoyed philosophical debates on the grander things in life, trying to puzzle out the mysteries of the workings of the universe, and Princess Luna did as well. Was it possible that he outgrown his love for Celestia? That he had developed deeper feelings for her younger sister instead?

Discord chuckled at that thought, it was true that he had been slowly growing fonder of since she had first come to him, nearly in tears about some trivial matter. Something about a large chicken convincing the whole town of Ponyville that she was still Nightmare Moon and to run away screaming in terror from her. It was extremely odd, but he had not objected her company that night, not that he could have even if he had wanted to, and he certainly would not object to it now. As Princess Luna continued to share with him her stories of the day, he couldn’t help but replay their first meeting in his mind.

5 Months Ago, A Few Days after Nightmare Night

Discord had been sitting out in the moonlit gardens, as if he had any other options, when he noticed Princess Luna was slowly trudging towards his statue. Luna? What is she doing here? She’s never come to this part of the gardens at night before. Actually, I can’t recall anytime that she has come to this part of the gardens. Oh? She’s crying, how delightful! I wonder what brought this about, hm? Discord wondered gleefully. He was rather fond of the misfortune of others you know.

Luna slumped down in front of his statue, her shoulders hanging heavily with the burden of some inner turmoil. She sat there silently, as if debating whether or not she should speak. Discord snorted derisively, what fun could he get out of a silently moping pony? None, that’s what kind.

“I… Know talking to a statue is pointless, but I can’t talk to anypony else… ‘Tia just does not understand why this makes me so upset.” the morose mare looked up at him. “I’m not sure if you can hear me or not, but I had to get this off of my wings to somepony who would listen, even if it’s you…”

Discord was indignant, what did she mean by ‘even if it was you’? Insulting little… No, it isn’t worth it, you’ll have your revenge someday, be patient. The slightly offended draconequus coached himself back to a calmer state.

“I suppose it just helps having anypony to listen to you, does it not?” Luna paused. “Well you see Discord, the problem started a few nights back while I was visiting Ponyville, a small town- Oh you know where it is, you were there.” Yes, Discord remembered that town very well. Those insufferable Elements of Harmony were from there, I remember that blasted town. He silently fumed to himself while the lunar princess continued her tale.

“My sister’s student, Twilight Sparkle, was trying to help me get used to being around common ponies again, and was showing me around town, getting me to partake in the festivities there. It was all going well until this pony dressed as a large chicken leading a group of foals around to collect candy spotted me and began shrieking about how Nightmare Moon had returned to eat everypony’s souls or some similar nonsense. At every attempt Twilight made to get the ponies used to my presence, that strange pony in the chicken costume was there to scream her head off and get everypony afraid of me again.” She looked crossly at the ground, and then relaxed with a resigned sigh.

“Though I suppose it didn’t help when I lost my temper and banned Nightmare Night forever.” Luna smiled sheepishly at Discord, who thought it was strange that she would look at him with an almost apologetic look, as if she had felt his forgiveness would change anything that had happened.

“But again Twilight Sparkle helped me through that, and even brought the chicken pony around to see that I wasn’t as nasty as she had led others to believe I was. She then explained that the little ponies liked being scared, and helped me live up to that expectation for the night, scaring a group of foals into sacrificing their sweets to me so they would not be harmed. I wouldn’t harm my little ponies though, I’m not that mean anymore, you understand?” She chuckled softly.

“But even though that conflict had been resolved, it still gets to me every time that a pony runs from me in terror… I tried talking to ‘Tia about it, but she merely laughed and told me not to worry. That soon everypony would be used to my being back in the palace, and not run screaming in terror at the very sight of me. I know she’s right, but…” There was that dejected sigh again. “It still hurts me to see the fear in their eyes… I just want to be accepted…”

The statue and alicorn sat in silence for awhile, one out of pensive thought, the other out of inability to speak. When Princess Luna finally spoke, she sounded calmer, like talking to the statue of the draconequus had actually helped her.

“If you can hear me in there, thank you Discord. You don’t know how much this has helped me; I promise to find a way to repay you someday.” Princess Luna bowed respectfully, taking Discord by surprise.

“Lu-lu? Lu-lu, are you in the gardens? Come back inside, it’s very cold out tonight. I can’t have you catching a cold when you’re supposed to be helping me with the royal appointments tomorrow.”

Luna looked up at the lit balcony, the silhouette of her elder sister Princess Celestia waving a hoof to get her attention. She smiled back at Discord again, gave him whispered thanks once more and took the night sky back to her sister’s balcony. “Yes ’Tia, I was just thinking about things in the gardens! And why do I have to help you again? The Royal Courts are dreadfully dull; you know I hate those meetings.”

Soon Discord was alone again. He thought about the conversation, if you could call it that, between the princess of the night and himself.

It was strange, very unusual… But… I think... I enjoyed it, having somepony talking to me as if I were still alive and kicking, not a hunk of stone….. I hope she comes back, just so I can a break from this monotonous routine of snatches of conversations between passing ponies.

And return Princess Luna did, every other night after that in fact. It had soon become commonplace for Luna to come down to his statue to talk to Discord about the things happening outside his piece of the gardens.

Present Day

Celestia could very well end up sending ME to the moon if I tried to court her younger sister, and that would be worse, I believe, than being here in the garden. He gazed back to the cheerfully rambling alicorn in front his pedestal, and he was suddenly very aware of a vaguely happy feeling in his stone cold, literally, heart. I think maybe… With a titanic amount of effort and resolve, that I could possibly tone down my usual brand of anarchy. For her, not for anypony else. Just maybe, not definitely though.

Discord tried to reaffirm his resolve to pull at the strings of space and time when he was free, but he couldn’t help but think about laying down his ways, if only for a century or so, and try being with her if he ever was freed from his prison.

Luna suddenly blinked. “Oh dear, I’ve rambled for hours, I have to get back to the castle before ‘Tia gets cross with me and puts me in time out on the moon.” She giggled, and Discord thought it was oddly cute. “Farewell Discord, I greatly enjoyed our conversation and I hope to make more progress concerning you, both in my research and with my sister. Good night.” She smiled up at the draconequus, turned and cantered back into the castle. Had it not been so dark, Discord might have sworn the ghost of a blush had been of the face of the lunar princess, but that couldn’t be possible.

Discord sighed to himself. What shall I do with you? You’re getting daffy over the prospect of a doomed love! Well, it very well would not be the first, hm? Discord scowled at the chiding voice that he used on himself. Quiet you, what do you know? I know what you know, and we both you our knowledge of this matter is shared between ourselves.

Discord was really starting to get on his own nerves now, he wished he would just- Oh wait, now how would that work? How does one get themselves to stuff a cork in it and shut up? Another perplexing question for another day, Discord rolled his eyes, he could be such a pain in the hindquarters sometimes.

The sun was starting to come up now, and he looked at the sunrise. It just doesn’t have that same beauty it used to… I guess we are changing… Discord was silent for a while. A new day, the same routine, eh Discord old friend? You know, we see quite a lot as a statue in these gardens, don‘t I? He was just about to make a comment to himself when the oddest idea he had thought in awhile struck him.

I should write a book about this.