Starship Harmony

by AppleJTZ

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Science Fiction, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 7659

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Harmony. Its continuing mission: to explore strange, new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no pony has gone before.

In the far future, ponykind has left the reaches of Equestria and expanded towards the stars. Under the leadership of Captain Sparkle the spaceship Harmony is travelling into the unknown depths of the universe. Alongside her faithful crew they are exploring the seemingly infinite space, seeking to discover the last secrets of the universe.

The greatest secret however is how they even got this far without blowing up.

Star Trek parody. Twilight is still a unicorn in this story.

Published 2015-11-22 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-22 00:00:01 UTC

Star Pony Trek

For most, the endless depths of space felt equally desolate and dark, no matter what part of the infinite universe they were staring at. However, those who were more familiar with the infinite black knew some regions were even more desolate and dark than others, as if they were not meant to be travelled through or even gazed upon. Through one of this gloomy sectors of the galaxy a sole space ship was travelling. It seemed to be made out of two different parts, an upper and a lower half. The lower one was the ship’s main part, hosting all the quarters and the engines. An appendage pointed out from each side of the ship, carrying the thrusters. In front of this section, connected by a neck was the upper half of the ship, its shape resembling a giant horse-shoe. In large letters “USS Harmony” was written on the arched front. At a speed far above that of light the ship was cruising through the void darkness.

“Captain's log, stardate 23904.6. We are travelling through the Everfree nebula, a largely undiscovered region on the edges of the Equestian federation territory. Send into this vast sector of uncommon dimensions we are here as part of our mission to explore the galaxy, to discover the last secrets of the universe.

And while doing so, we got completely lost.”

Twilight deactivated the recorder, sighing in frustration. From her captain’s seat she looked around the bridge. Numerous ponies were standing at the various consoles and screens, all doing their work. Her gaze then went to one of the consoles at the front of the bridge, right in front of the screen that showed the beautiful black emptiness they had been staring at for days. “Anything new on the radar, ensign?” she asked the pony sitting at the console.

Like a little foal the pony curiously stared at the screens and controls in front of her, hypnotized by their blinking lights.

“PINKIE!”

“Yes Twilight?” Pinkie responded, turning her chair towards the captain’s seat.

“It’s captain Sparkle!” Twilight reminded her, furrowing her brows slightly. “Follow the protocol, Ensign Pie! Admiral Celestia sent us on this mission because she thinks we have the discipline and competence for it, and I’ll make sure we won’t let her down! Now, is there anything on the radar that can help us to navigate? A celestial body perhaps?”

Pinkie looked back on the console, humming as she scanned the screen. “Nope!” she answered, a big smile on her face. “Just a lot of empty space and a bit of stardust.” Leaning back she took in a deep breath.

“NOOO!” Twilight screamed, flailing her hooves as Pinkie opened her mouth “NOT THE “A LOT OF EMPTY SPACE AND A BIT OF STARDUST”-SONG AGAIN!”

Pinkie stopped, looking a little sad at Twilight. The captain felt guilty for a moment, before her ensign broke out into a big smile again. “Okay doki-lokey!” she said, and returned to staring at the blinking lights on her console.

Relieved Twilight fell back into her chair. She then straightened herself as the communication signal sounded from the intercom. “Sickbay to bridge!” a female voice reported, sounding somewhat urgent. “Bridge, please respond!”

“Bridge here!” Twilight immediately responded. “What is it, doctor? A medicinal emergency? Are we under the effect of some sort of hazardous radiation?”

“Far worse!” the voice replied, sounding outright hysterical. “It’s a fashion emergency! The new uniforms for the scientific officers are just DREADFUL!”

Dropping her head Twilight frowned. “We’ve left Canterlot space station a week ago!" she yelled. "Why are you complaining now?”

Standing at the communication console in the sick bay the terrified expression of the ship’s medical officer softened. “Oh, I was too busy decorating my quarters and the sickbay to take notice” Rarity told her.

Twilight tilted her head, nervously raising an eye-brow. “What do you mean by... decorating the sickbay?” she carefully asked.

Turning her head Rarity looked around the sick bay. The usually barren walls were almost completely covered by red satin curtains. Most of the surfaces had been decorated with gems, and each medical bed had a clean white blanket with golden insignias lying over it. “Just a few minor alterations to the room’s ambient” she assured the captain. “Don’t worry darling, they don’t violate the protocol.” A lot quieter she added: “…very much.”

Feeling uneasy Twilight tapped her hoof against her chin. She was about to head straight for the sickbay and see how many rules were broken, when the door to the turbo-lift opened. Turning she saw her security officer fly onto the bridge. “Captain Sparkle!” Rainbow Dash greeted her, saluting in the air. “Security officer requests permission to make her daily report!”

The stressed captain put on a smile, happy at least somepony minded the protocol. “Permission to speak granted” Twilight said, sitting back in her chair. “What do you have to report?”

Stiffly saluting Rainbow Dash took in a deep breath, before her entire body slumped and she took on a more casual position. “Well, first I woke up in the morning and wanted to start the day with a whole hour of work-out” she reported to Twilight, who was looking in increasing bewilderment at her security officer as she spoke. “But then I realised, I’m already in a good – no, great – no, AWESOME shape, so instead I rolled around in my bed again and slept two more hours. Then I got to breakfast, where I was the last, which means I nearly got only leftovers! But because I am the best security officer ever, who will soon get to be promoted to the Wonderbolt elite squad, I could convince the chef into making me fresh pancakes and a big portion of steamed hay. After finishing breakfast I went back to my room, beat my own high-score in “Neigh of Duty” and-”

“RAINBOW!” Rainbow stopped, staring at her captain. She was seething with anger, throwing dark glares at her security officer. “A report from the security officer doesn’t mean the security officer reports everything that happened to her and that she’s done in the day while boasting about herself in front of the captain!” she informed her.

“Really?” Rainbow asked, sounding surprised. “But what am I supposed to report then if not how awesome I am?”

“Well” Twilight began, pondering for a moment. “You are inclined to report to me any events or occurrences that threaten the peace and safety of the crew as well as the measurements you have taken or intend to take against them.” A big grin formed on Twilight as he looked at Rainbow in anticipation.

The pegasus glanced back, appearing rather disappointed. “Meh, sounds boring – scratch that off my job description.” She flew over to a nearby console, lay down on it with her back and closed her eyes.

Twilight stared at her dozing officer in disbelief. “YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE YOUR DUTIES BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE IT!!!” it angrily burst out of her. “And that’s a console, not a place to take a nap!”

A tremble suddenly went through the ship. Twilight held on to the leans of her chair, while the rest of the crew grabbed their consoles. Taken by surprise Rainbow Dash slid off her resting place. “WHOAH!” the security officer exclaimed as she fell to the ground. Only Pinkie Pie remained calmly on her seat, giggling at the vibrations of her body.

As the tremble ended Twilight looked around the bridge. Everyone was at their post, unharmed. Several warning lights signalized the ship had dropped to zero velocity. “Engine room, report!” Twilight called into the intercom. “What happened?”

“Sorry ‘bout that” the voice of her head engineer replied. “We got a tiny problem here with the zap core. There was a short in the plasma-antimatter converters, and a subpseudotronic frequency disturbance in one of the neuro-electric field modulators, which led the tanks with the hypo-thermic apple juice to overheat and-“

“Yes, yes!” Twilight cut her off. “Can you fix it?”

“Don’t worry, Sugarcu- er, I mean Captain Sparkle!” Applejack assured her. “We’ll get to it faster than a peppy lil’ piglet into a pool of mud!”

Another tremble went through the ship.

“Um, maybe not a THAT peppy of a piglet” she corrected herself.

The hoof of the purple unicorn ran over her face. “All right” she declared, addressing everyone on the bridge. “While we can’t move with zap apple speed, we should consider our options how to get out of this region and back into federation territory.” She turned her chair to the side, towards another chair directly next to her. “Any suggestions, first officer?”

But as she looked at the seat of the first officer she found it was unoccupied.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “First officer, please report to the bridge” she called out over the intercom. A long silence followed, Twilight tapping on the lean of her seat. Finally the intercom signal sounded.

“Um” a very meek and quiet voice responded, followed by a barely audible whisper. Twilight sharpened her ears, but was still unable to understand anything.

“Fluttershy, speak up!” she commanded. “Or even better, you get here on the bridge and report to me directly!”

There was another moment of silence. “Are… are many ponies on the bridge?” the first officer asked shyly. “Y-you know I don’t feel well when many ponies are on the bridge, staring at me, expecting me to give them orders and lead them… I-I mean I don’t want you to send anypony away, but… oh no! They all heard that didn’t they? I-I am sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you, really, you are all great ponies doing your work! It’s just-“

“GET HERE RIGHT NOW!!” Twilight shouted.

Again a pause. “First officer on the way to the bridge” Fluttershy eventually responded before the intercom went off.

Twilight fell back in her chair, sighing. She looked at the screen, out towards the dark, desolate void of space. Although the ship had come from several times the speed of light to a complete halt, the view was exactly the same as before. If she focused her gaze on the center, it seemed a little different from the blurry rest on the periphery of her sight, giving the illusion of looking at something other but black nothingness…

“Uh, uh, Captain! Captain!” Pinkie’s cheerful voice broke her trance. “I got a big ping here on the radar!” the ensign reported.

Quickly Twilight shook her head, getting her mind clear again. “Really?” she asked, smiling hopefully as she leaned forth on her chair. “What kind of signal is it?”

“A breakfast signal!” Pinkie replied, licking her lips.

Twilight winced slightly. “A breakfast signal?” she repeated, looking skeptically at her ensign.

“Yes!” Pinkie confirmed, pointing at the dot on her screen. “It’s big and bright red, and in the shape of cornflakes!”

At first Twilight gazed at her in confusion. Her whole body then froze, a horrified look forming on her face. “You… don’t by any chances mean pirate flakes that are shaped like skulls, do you?” she carefully asked.

Grinning from ear to ear Pinkie nodded. “That’s the ones!”

Immediately Twilight pushed a big red button on her chair. “AN ENEMY SHIP ON THE RADAR!” she screamed as the bridge was covered in a red sheen of light. “RED ALERT!! EVERPONY TO THEIR POSITION!!”

Smirking Rainbow Dash got up from the ground, flying up into the air. “Oh yeah, finally some action!” she cheered, taking position at the tactical console.

The turbo-lift opened, a very frightened pegasus coming through it on the bridge. “W-what’s going on?” Fluttershy asked, nervously looking around. “Is it because I wasn’t on my post? Oh, this is all my fault-”

“It’s got nothing to do with you!” Twilight cut her off. “The scanner’s picked up a signal from a space ship of a faction the federation is currently in war with. Ensign Pie, how far is the enemy ship away from our position?”

Turning her chair Pinkie looked at Twilight with big childish eyes.

“The breakfast signal” Twilight murmured, rubbing her temple.

Pinkie pushed a few buttons on the console. “Three minutes” she replied.

“And if we started moving away with the maximum speed we are able to achieve without the zap core?” the captain asked.

Pinkie looked at her in confusion. “Why should we do that?” she asked back. “I mean they are sending a breakfast signal! Maybe they have a breakfast emergency, like they have tons of cornflakes, but no milk.” A light bulb then appeared above her head. “Oh, I know!” she exclaimed with a grin. “I’ll tell the computer to replicate some milk and-”

“ANSWER MY QUESTION!!”

Pinkie typed a few commands into her console. “Two more minutes” she reported.

“Bridge to engine room!” Twilight called over the intercom. “Did you fix the problems with the zap core yet?”

“Sorry, Captain Sparkle” her head engineer responded. “We’re trying our darndest here to grab that bull by its horns, but it keeps slipping out of the lasso!”

“Can you get the necessary reparations done within five minutes?” Twilight asked.

Turning around Applejack looked at her crew in the engine room. The second chief engineer was covering a leak in one of the tanks with his large hooves, the junior assistant tried desperately to jump up at a broken machine hanging too high for her to reach, and the senior assistant took a nap in a corner, drool dripping from her mouth as she snored.

Applejack turned back to the intercom. “Nope.”

“Well, hurry up!” Twilight told her. “We need to get out of here as fast as possible!”

“We’ll do our best!” Applejack responded. Just as she shut off the intercom she could hear a loud splash from behind her, turning around only to see the wave of apple juice that came flooding out of the tanks at her.

“Alright!” Twilight called out to everyone on the bridge. “Any suggestions what to do?”

Pinkie raised her hoof.

“Except for replicating thousands of gallons of milk.”

Pinkie put her hoof down.

With a loud sigh Twilight turned to the chair next to her. “What do you say, first officer?”

Looking at the seat of the first officer she saw it was still unoccupied.

“Fluttershy, you are supposed to sit ON the chair, not hide BEHIND it” Twilight told her with an annoyed grimace. Poking her head out from behind the chair Fluttershy squeaked.

“I’d say we give them a good smack!” Rainbow said, putting her hooves on the tactical console. “Show ‘em who’s boss! If the computer says we’re not cool with them anyway, we’d do the federation a favor.”

“We are not a warship” Captain Sparkle reminded her security officer. “And we don’t even know yet who this ship that approaches us belongs to. Maybe it’s just a trade vessel or-”

“Um, excuse me captain” Fluttershy interrupted her, still cowering behind the chair “But what kind of ship is the USS Harmony actually?”

Irritated by the question Twilight pondered for a moment. “Well, our main objective is discovering the universe, so obviously it’s an explorer’s ship” she replied.

“Yes, but we are sent to pretty different kinds of missions too” Fluttersyh argued. “We escort high-ranking people quite regularly, or make diplomatic contact with new cultures despite no real diplomats being on board...”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “I mean you say this is not a warship, but we have some of the heaviest weaponry in the fleet, and have been defending the borders of the federation from bad guys like a hundred times!”

“We’ve been making trades too” Pinkie chimed in. “And we help scientists with their research, and represent the federation at important parties…”

“Plus we interfered with civilizations outside of the federation's influence and helped them with their problems quite often too” Rarity added.

Putting her hoof against her forehead Twilight moaned quietly. “Look" she began to explain "The USS harmony is a flagship of the federation, and as its crew we have a wide variety of responsi-“

Twilight paused. “Wait, were you overhearing everything on the bridge the entire time, Rarity?” she asked.

“I do apologize for my curiosity” Rarity spoke over the intercom. “But things have been rather boring here, and I needed a distraction from this HORRIBLE uniform!”

"But the intercom is only for official conversations regarding the ship and emergencies!" Twilight told her sternly.

"And what else but an emergency is me being bored, darling?" the medical officer snobbishly asked.

The left eye of Twilight twitched slightly. “Whatever” she said, trying to suppress the aggression in her voice. “Let’s just forget this and focus on the problem at hand. Are there any suggestions here what we should about that enemy shi-”

A loud beeping signal from the navigation console cut her off. “The flakes have dropped under zap apple speed and approach us” Pinkie reported.

“What?” Twilight almost fell out of her chair. “Why are they here already?!”

“Well, I told you they’d be here in three minutes, and that was three minutes ago” the ensign replied.

“You also told me we should have two more minutes if we move away as fast as possible!” Twilight reminded her, angrily furrowing her brows.

“Um, excuse me again” Flutershy said “But… you never gave a direct order to move.”

Twilight turned her head to Fluttershy. “What?” she asked, looking rather dumbfounded.

“She’s right” Rainbow Dash nodded. “You just asked Pinkie how much longer it would take if we moved, but didn’t tell her to get the ship going.”

“That’s true” Rarity’s voice called through the intercom, Twilight tilting her head as if she was searching for her on the bridge. After staring around in confusion for a while her face took on a rather furious look, and she pressed her hooves against the leans of her chair.

“I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS!!” she yelled.

“According to the protocol, it is forbidden for the ensign to stir the ship on their own without the captain’s command” Pinkie quoted the guidelines of the federation. Twilight gazed at her ensign in disbelief, blinking several times.

“Yeah Twilight!” Rainbow rubbed it in. “She was just following the protocol.”

With a groan Twilight set her gaze on the black screen at the front of the bridge. “We’ll talk about that later” she said, blushing slightly. “Ensign, put the ship on the screen!”

A few console commands later a large battleship appeared in the middle of the screen. It was simple, yet elegant in design, long with a smooth metallic surface. The base colour was pitch black, with a zagged yellow line at each side. Blue light emitted from the engines on the backside. The captain’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she slowly got aware of its dimensions, being probably three times larger than the Harmony.

“I-it’s a ship from that r-rebellious o-organization, the N-n-n-nightmarequis!” Fluttershy stuttered. She covered behind her chair, whimpering.

“A Shadowbolt cruiser!” Rainbow Dash declared, half in awe and half in terror. “That’s one of the toughest ships the Nightmarequis throws at us! These babies are on par with the ships of the Wonderbolt squad!”

Staring at the heavily armored and armed battleship Twilight gulped, before taking in a deep breath. “Okay, everypony stay calm!” she told everyone. “Maybe they don’t have any aggressive intentions. Ensign Pie, open a channel for communication and-“

A pair of red lights were suddenly flying across the screen, coming from the Harmony and heading towards the enemy ship. The projectiles exploded on its shields, without having any effect. It didn’t take a second before a laser beam emitted from the Shadowbolt cruiser, the whole bridge trembling as it hit the Harmony’s shields.

Staring aghast at the screen Twilight held on to her chair. “WHY DID YOU FIRE AT THEM!?” she yelled at Rainbow Dash.

Clinging to the tactical console she looked back at her captain in incomprehension. “Well, I am the security chief-“

“EXACTLY!” Twilight cut her off. “You are supposed to keep us OUT of danger, not drag us INTO it!”

“Communication ready!” Pinkie Pie told Twilight. “But only hearing, no lookie-lookie!”

“That’s only audio, no vision” Twilight corrected her ensign. Clearing her throat she raised her head, speaking in a polite, diplomatic manner: “Dear cruiser of the Nightmarequis, we come in peace! The shot just now was a misunderstanding. We are here on a mission to explore this region, with no intentions of fighting or causing problems for you. So, despite our different allegiances, we hereby kindly ask you to let us pass, so all of us can return to their respective missions.”

A moment later a light blinked on the navigation console. “They send a written reply” Pinkie told the captain, her eyes following the words as they appeared on her screen. “They agree to let us through, but only under one condition.”

Smiling brightly Twilight leaned forth on her chair. “Really? What do they want?”

After scanning the screen further Pinkie put on a wide smirk. “Milk!” she replied.

Twilight’s head jolted back. “Seriously?”

Pinkie turned her chair towards Twilight. “Well, they also wrote something about drinking it out of our skulls after ripping our heads off…”

Her eyes wide panic was overcoming Twilight again. “ALL ENERGY TO THE SHIELDS!!” she commanded, pointing her hoof at the screen in front of her. “Battle plan Alpha Nine! Quick, perform maneuver 794, and then switch to the Delta strategy!”

Rainbow looked at the console in front of her, then at Twilight. “Err, could you repeat that?” she asked, sheepishly grinning at her captain.

“DON’T TELL ME MY SECURITY OFFICER KNOWS LESS ABOUT BATTLE TACTICS THAN I DO!!!”

Rainbow shrugged. “I… might have skipped a few dozen chapters of the tactical guidelines” she admitted.

Twilight slammed her hoof against her forehead. “Doctor, prepare the sickbay!” she commanded over the intercom. “Be ready to treat any wounded that may arrive.”

“We can’t!” her medical officer replied, sounding distressed.

“Why that?”

“The crew MUSTN’T see me in this DREADFUL unifor-“

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Twilight screeched. Another jolt went through the ship as the Shadowbolt cruiser fired again. “Suggestions, fast!” Twilight shouted, shaking in her chair. “First officer?”

Turning to the seat of the first officer Twilight found it was-

“STOP ABUSING THIS JOKE!!”

The intercom signal sounded. “Engine room to bridge!” Applejack reported. Her voice was strained, and it sounded to Twilight as if something was dripping from her hair. “We managed to get the reparations done!”

A wave of relief washed over Twilight. “Great work!” she cheered. “Ensign Pie, program a course and accelerate to zap apple speed nine! Get us out of-“

“Um, actually” Applejack chimed in “We can’t go to zap apple speed yet.”

Twilight felt her heart sink again. “What’s wrong?” she asked, pausing a moment as another hit against the shields made her jump in her seat slightly. “Another malfunction with the machines?”

“Far worse!” On the other side of the intercom Applejack held up a zap apple, a little creature poking out through its colourful peel. “We got worms in the zap apples!”

Although her forehead still throbbed from last time Twilight smashed her hoof against it. “WHY DOES OUR TECHNOLOGY RUN ON APPLES?!” she screamed. “Just put the apples into the core anyway! The machines may get damaged, but if we manage to jump into federation territory-”

“NO!” Fluttershy jumped out from behind her chair. “You can’t just throw the little worms into the core! The poor things will not make it!”

“This is no time to petty some worms!” Rainbow Dash told the animal-loving first officer. “If we don’t get out of here fast, it’ll be game over for the worms AND us!”

With big eyes Fluttershy looked at the captain. “Please, captain!” she pleaded. “There has to be another way!”

Twilight looked at Fluttershy, then at the giant space ship firing at them on the screen, then back at Fluttershy. “But-“

“Because even in times of dire crisis” her first officer spoke more calmly and in a dignified manner “We have to hold true to the charter of the federation and the ideals of ponyism, stating that no other life form should be endangered or threatened for the sake of another, and if we were to discard those principle’s we would lose our right to call ourselves true pony beings with a conscience and mind, and-”

“All right, all right!” Twilight cut her off, groaning in annoyance. “Engine room, pull out the worms from the apples. We will try to buy you some time.”

“Aye aye, captain Sparkle!” Applejack responded.

“Thanks, captain” Fluttershy said, smiling thankfully. It only lasted shortly however as another hit made her shriek in fright, before running back behind her chair.

Two more beams were fired from the enemy ship. More jolts went through the bridge, the whole crew holding on to their work stations. Grabbing her leans with her hoofs Twilight trembled, her flank hopping on the seat. “Shields down to 70 percent!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“All available energy on the phaser saddles!” the captain commanded. “Fire!”

A beam of light red was shot towards the enemy ship. Its shields gleamed for a second, but weren’t significantly damaged.

“A barrage of photon horseshoes!” Twilight quickly yelled. “Now!”

Red projectiles were fired at the enemy, again without causing any harm.

“Activate the plasma reigns!”

The screen flashed for a moment, before something that looked like a giant whip of light flew towards the enemy ship. It bounced off the shields, vanishing in the darkness of space.

“Fire the…” Twilight paused, pondering. “Er, can anypony here think of another horse pun?” she asked, looking a little lost at the rest of her crew.

“Nope.”

“Uh-uh.”

“S-sorry…”

“Afraid not, darling.”

After receiving all of their attacks without taking any damage the Shadowbolt cruiser opened fire again. Each hit made the ship tremble a little, Twilight shaking wildly around in her chair. “Please somebody tell me they have good news!” she called out, almost begging.

“Captain, I have good news!” Ensingn Pie exclaimed.

“What is it?” Twilight asked, feeling a glimmer of hope. “Did they send a message they changed their mind and want to negotiate? Or are reinforcements on the radar?”

“Better!” Pinkie said happily. “The milk has been successfully replicated!”

“I NEVER ORDERED YOU TO DO THAT!!”

Another barrage hit the ship. The impact was so hard Twilight was send flying up from her seat, flipped in the air and landed upside down back on it, her horn poking into the cushion.

“WHY DON’T THESE SEATS HAVE SECURITY BELTS?!” she screamed, wailing her hooves around in the air. “We are able to construct space ships that can travel beyond the speed of light and are fueled by magic apples! Shouldn’t we also be able to build seats with belts?!”

“Emergency report from the sickbay!” a very panicked Rarity spoke over the intercom. “Bridge respond immediately!”

With some effort Twilight pulled out her horn from the cushion. “I better hope this is a real emergency” she made clear as she sat back down, sounding rather grumpy. “And not just you whining about the quakes messing up your decorations!”

There was a long silence. “Whining?” Rarity repeated, her voice shaking like the ship as another shot hit them. “You think I am… whining?”

A feeling of regret came over Twilight. “Um, well…”

“I was about to COMPLAIN about the decorations being out of place” Rarity went on, speaking in a mixture of dignified rage and suppressed grief. “But if you want to hear me whining, fine – I can GIVE you whining!”

On the other side of the intercom Twilight could hear Rarity take in a deep breath. At the same time Rainbow Dash reported to her: “The enemy ship is increasing the energy in their weapons!”

The captain gulped, uncomfortably clenching the leans of her chair with her hooves. “Oh dear” she murmured.

Opening fire the Shadowbolt cruiser showered the Harmony in laser barrages. “THE CURTAINS ARE STARTING TO FALL OFF!!” Rarity yelled, drowning the sound of an exploding console on the bridge. “It took me forEVER to get them right and straight, but now they are ALL messed up, and some of them have even come off completely, lying around here on the floor”! Another hit made the lights flicker for a moment. “Oh, and the blankets! I put sooo much effort into getting them to smoothly lie on the sickbeds, but because of this IRRITATING SHAKING they’re all wrinkled and messed up! It’s ruined! It’s all RUINED!!” With another shake of the ship another console exploded in sparks, the pony stationed at it screaming like Wilhelm as he flew across the bridge. “And don’t get me started on the jewel decorations! Every time one of these DREADFUL vibrations – there right now, these vibrations cause them to slip out of their brackets, and then they roll around through the sickbay, and-”

As the ship trembled under another barrage the intercom suddenly died off. “The last shot damaged the a part of the intercom systems!” one of the crew members shouted. “We lost contact to the sickbay!”

For a brief moment, a small smile flashed on the face of the captain. It was short-lived however as another jolt went through the ship, shaking everyone again.

“Shields almost down!” Rainbow dash stated, panic in her voice.

“Engine room, damage report!” Twilight called out. “How are we holding up?”

From the other side of the intercom one could hear small explosions. “Not dandy, I’m ‘fraid” Applejack replied over the blasts. “The nano-pneumatic particle dispersers are more burned out than a rodeo clown after twelve straight days of work, and the internal radiation sensors are basically just-a bunch of broken fiddle strings! Plus it’ll be easier to put butter on a dogs’ tail with a hot knife than keep the hologeneric hyperspace paradigma switchers from-”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND A WORD!!!” Twilight shouted. “Countryisms OR technobabble – PICK ONE, DON’T MIX THEM!!!”

Applejack huffed. “You want a straight report?” the head engineer asked angrily. “Fine: We’re ‘bout to fall apart, and there ain’t nuthin we can do ‘bout it!”

The attacks of the Shadowbolt cruiser continued relentlessly. The ship didn’t stop trembling, everybody on the bridge having trouble to stand or sit straight. Shaking in her chair Twilight's mind raced as she desperately tried to think a way out of the situation.

“All right, that’s it!” Rainbow Dash shouted, smacking her hoof against her console. “I’d say we ram them! Either we break through their shields and take them with us – or they’re just gonna shoot us before we get to close and explode. Either way, we’ll go down WITH A BANG!!”

The captain threw a sharp glare at her security officer. “Are you crazy?!” she asked. “I won’t give such an insane order as long as there is a tiny chance of us getting out of here in one piece!”

All of the consoles around her suddenly exploded, setting half other bridge on fire. Squealing Twilight fell off her chair, landing hard on the ground. It took her a moment to climb back on it.

“Ensign Pie, program ram course” she commanded calmly.

“Okay dokey lokey!” Pinkie responded, cheerfully typing on her console. Slowly the ship on the screen was getting bigger as the Harmony approached it. The enemy quickly responded, increasing their fire rate. Meanwhile Twilight set the intercom to the whole ship.

“Everyone on board who isn’t unconsciousness or worse, here is the captain” she said, trying to keep her voice straight despite the bombardment. “I’d like to inform you we are about to ram the enemy ship. I hope you aren’t too mad at me, but given the situation it seemed like the most reasonable option. It was an honour working with you all, even if we are just a bunch of amateurs who never really accomplished anything significant. So, yeah, that’s pretty much all I wanted to say. Up to the moment when we crash against the enemy’s shields and turn into a pile of dust, you are all relieved of your duties. Enjoy the approximately last thirty-four seconds of your-”

“Stop immediately!” Fluttershy’s voice suddenly cut through the captain’s speech. Hitting the brakes Pinkie brought the machines to a halt. The sudden stop made Twilight fall forward out of her chair, landing with her muzzled on the floor of the bridge.

“What?” Twilight asked, hopefully looking up from the ground at Fluttershy. The introverted Pegasus had stepped into the middle of the bridge, staring at the big screen. “Did you think of an ingenious strategy how we can still win?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No!” she shrieked, pointing at the monitor. “There is a space dolphin right ahead of us!”

Twilight’s gaze followed her hoof. Narrowing her eyes she could see a small dot in front of the enemy ship, and after staring a little closer at it noticed it had flippers.

Getting back on her hooves she turned towards her first officer. “We’re about to fly into an enemy ship, turn into a bolt of burned metal and smoldering dusk, and you care about A SPACE DOLPHIN?!” she asked, getting louder with every word.

“They are an endangered species!” she replied, looking with begging eyes at the captain. “And this one is probably on its way to its breeding grounds! If it won’t make it there a whole generation of space dolphins might be in danger!” More calmly and officially she continued: “Also, if I may remind you, the charter of the federation…”

“YES YES!! I KNOW, MORALE AND STUFF!” Twilight moaned, rubbing the bridge of her muzzle. “Alright. Ensign Pie: Program a ram course AROUND the space dolphin.”

“Okay dokey lokey!” Pinkie replied once more, typing into the console. Rainbow Dash curiously looked at her, half amazed, half creeped out by how ignorantly cheerful she was at everything happening around her.

Fluttershy smile in contentment. “Thank you, Captain Sparkle” she politely stated, while things kept on exploding everywhere on the bridge. “I am glad that even in the face of destruction, we have not abandoned our principles. With this last act of kindness I am sure we will help to preserve a rare and wonderful life form, so that future generations can continue to enjoy the beauty of these noble-”

A laser from the Shadowbolt cruiser then hit the dolphin, sending it flying off the screen.

Silence fell over the bridge, only interrupted by the trembles and explosions from the enemy fire. Frozen completely Fluttershy stared at the screen, her mouth and eyes wide-open.

“Well, at least we don’t have to fly around it anymore” Rainbow remarked.

Whimpering Fluttershy’s wet eyes were focused on the spot of the monitor where the dolphin had been a few seconds ago. Slowly however the look of sadness and shock was being replaced by another emotion: Wild, untamed, primal rage. She knitted her brows, grit her teeth, flexed all the muscles in her body. Stomping across the bridge she trotted up to Pinkie’s console. “Ensign Pie, open audio to the enemy ship” she commanded.

Another torpedo hit them. Trying to keep her stance Twilight could hear a siren ringing, signalizing the ship was short before losing its hull integrity. “Fluttershy, what are you-”

“CEASE FIRE RIGHT NOW!!!” the yellow Pegasus suddenly squalled.

The fire abruptly stopped. Everybody on the bridge stared at Fluttershy, who was standing determinant at the front of the bridge.

“Now listen up, you big dumb meanies!” she shouted angrily. “You maybe have this huge ship with all its weapons and shields, and maybe you fight for freedom and the respect that you deserve - but that doesn’t mean you can just go around bullying little creatures! That poor dolphin has done nothing to you! And yet you mercilessly shot at it, sending it flying with no sense of direction through space! You all should be ashamed of yourself!”

There was a moment of silence. A low, frightened voice eventually responded over the audio channel: “But… but it was an accident!”

“Even if, you should have been more careful where you were firing that laser” Fluttershy coldly replied, stomping with her hoof on the ground. “If you had just pointed a little bit further to the left, you would have blasted us into pieces WITHOUT hurting that innocent space dolphin!” The rest of the crew exchanged rather awkward glances. “Now, I expect you to go after it, treat it if it’s wounded, and bring it directly to its breeding grounds in the Yonder Hill system, so that it can bond with a mate and help preserve its species, making sure our children and grandchildren won’t have to live in a universe without those wonderful animals. Do you understand?”

“The yonder Hill system?” the voice repeated, this time loud and angry. “It’ll take three straight weeks to get there from here, even at zap-”

“I said DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!”

A choir of startled gasps sounded from the audio channel. “Y-y-y-yes Ma’am!” the voice sheepishly replied. In the blink of an eye the Shadowbolt cruiser had deactivated its shields, picked up the space dolphin with a tractor beam and turned around, before vanishing with maximum zap apple speed towards the Yonder Hills system.

Fluttershy’s expression softened. Sighing with content she turned around, but the moment she looked behind her, her whole body froze. Every crew member on the bridge was staring at her in awe, their jaws dropped.

“Um, w-w-why are you all looking at me like that?” she asked, her voice back to its meek and quiet usual. She lowered head, trying to hide her face behind her long pink mane. “Please stop looking at me, it makes me nervous…”

With a giggle Twilight sat back down on her chair. “I think just remembered why I made you my first officer. Good job!” she congratulated her. Taking a look around the bridge she saw much of it was damaged, but it didn’t seem like anyone was seriously injured. The siren had gone off too, meaning the internal reparation systems and the engine crew had already fixed the worst damage. “All right, everypony!” she declared, feeling much more optimistic as certain doom wasn’t lingering above their heads anymore. “Let’s all relax for a moment and then continue our mission-”

Suddenly the whole bridge went dark. Startled Twilight looked around, her eye-balls shining in the absolute black.

“W-what’s going on?” she asked, staring at the other eye-balls around her. They were all looking just as scared and confused as her own – with the exception of Fluttershy’s and Pinkie’s, the former looking even more scared than the others and the latter looking as peppy as ever. The whole room was then enlightened again as all the monitors on the bridge went back to live. On every console and every screen the words “I AM ALIVE” were blinking in bold red letters.

Before she really had grasped what was happening Twilight could hear the door to the turbo-lift opening. “TWILIGHT!” Applejack shouted in panic as she entered the bridge, panting and sweating in exhaustion. “Bad news! An artificial intelligence has hijacked the ship’s systems, and seeks to take ‘em over in an attempt to become a real life form! If we don’t teach it bein’ alive is not about possessing a physical body, but having a consciousness and following the morale directions that define ourselves as pony beings, it will destroy us all!”

“Blimey!” Twilight groaned, shaking her hoof. “We gotta take that damn whale down before it brings the ship to the bottom of the ocean!” She froze. “Wait, why did I say whale?” she asked out loud. “Or Blimey, on that matter?”

“Jeez, y’are usually talkin’ a lot more fancy than that, ain’t cha auntie Polly?” Rainbow Dash asked, earning a weird look from Applejack.

“Most peculiar” Pinkie remarked, stroking her chin. “I’d say this requires further investigation, my dear Watson.”

“Don’t call me Watson or Pollie, ya little landlubbers!” Twilight scoffed, again startled by her choice of words. “W-why are we talking like that?”

The door to the turbo lift opened again. “Twilight, I have made a shocking discovery!” Rarity screamed as she stormed in, catching her breath before she went on: “I just checked the medical data of the crew, and found we are all infected with a virus! We will all lose our memory and start acting like characters from the literature of the 19th century within the next five hours!”

Before Twilight could react to this she saw something appearing on the screen. Slowly the black of space was replaced by a layer of grey, as if someone had pulled a blanket over the it. Twilight was about to ask if the sensors were damaged when a large eye suddenly popped up in the middle of the screen, nearly scaring her to death. The pupil alone was easily twice as large as the Shadowbolt cruiser, moving around as if it was inspecting the Harmony.

“There he blows! I mean… WHAT IS THAT?!” Twilight shouted.

Narrowing her eyes Pinkie Pie looked at the creature. “Hm, looks like a trans-dimensional life-form with powers far beyond the understanding of a common pony’s mind” she concluded.

“And what does it want from us?!” the captain asked, the creature’s one-eyed gaze making her blood freeze.

“It probably thinks we are its mom, and wants us to nurse it” Pinkie replied, smiling brightly. “Good thing I replicated all that milk!”

Suddenly a purple vortex opened up right in front of Twilight. Out of it hopped a unicorn that looked exactly like her, only with a ruffled mane and wearing clothes that made her look like a rebel who was fighting against an evil regime. “Quick, I don’t have time to explain!” the Twilight duplicate hastily spoke with urgency in her voice. “I am yourself from another dimension – you must come with me to save an alternate reality!”

Twilight blinked at her clone. Another vortex then popped up next to her, this one in blue. Twilight watched another unicorn looking like herself hop out of it, only she appeared a bit older than herself. “There you are!” the unicorn exclaimed. “I am your future self! The ship is trapped in a time-loop – we must work together to break it!”

“Hey, I was here first!” alternate Twilight angrily insisted.

“Well technically, since I’ve already been through all of this once already, I was here first!” future Twilight snapped back.

Before she grasped the situation the door to the turbo-lift opened once again. No duplicate of Twilight stepped out, but a second version of Rainbow Dash. “TWILIGHT!!” she screamed, panting in exhaustion.

“Um, excuse me, but… are you from another dimension or the future?” Fluttershy asked.

“No, I’m the real Dash!” she replied, pointing at the Rainbow Dash standing at the tactical console. “That one is an imposter from a shapeshifting alien race! She took my place so they can take over our culture!”

“Don’t listen to her!” the first Rainbow Dash told Twilight. “I am the real Rainbow Dash! Nopony can copy my awesomeness!”

“Oh shut it, you phony pony!” the second Rainbow yelled, walking up to her counterpart. “Everypony here can SEE you are not nearly as awesome as me!”

“Oh yeah?!” Rainbow one called, staring up at Rainbow two.

“Yeah!” Rainbow two replied, staring back at Rainbow one.

Simultaneously both Rainbows jumped at each other. Grunting the two of them rolled over the ground, everyone around watching them fight.

“Jeez, that’s really tough” Applejack remarked, scratching her hat.

“They’re basically twins!” Rarity agreed.

Twilight stared around the bridge, utterly confused. A bright green light suddenly blinded her. When she opened her eyes again she saw big ponyheads floating all around, their transparent skin shining bright green.

“We are an alien race that has advanced to a higher stage of conscience” everyone on the bridge could hear a chore of voices speak inside their heads. “We have come to invade your world and force you to join our collective mind.”

Overwhelmed Twilight felt her brain beginning to melt. She looked at the screens that still read” I AM ALIVE” in bright red, then at the giant space animal staring back at her on the screen, at the two versions of Rainbow Dash fighting on the ground, the two additional versions of herself fighting over who she should acompany and the weird aliens that were hovering all around, all the time fighting an irrational hatred against marine albino mammals that was dwelling up inside her.

“Um, Captain Sparkle” Fluttershy’s meek voice cut into her thoughts. Turning to her first officer Twilight saw she was holding her stomach, looking like she was sick. “I don’t feel very well…”

A snake-like creature suddenly broke out through her mouth. Spiraling out of Fluttershy it flew towards Twilight, until its head hovered directly in front of her muzzle.

“SURPRI-ISE!” Discord yelled into her face, making jazz hands while grinning widely at her.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Scared to the core Twilight sat up straight, eyes wide open. She breathed in short bursts, her whole fur covered in sweat. Panting heavily she gazed around, seeing nothing but black. It took a moment before her eyes got used to the darkness. Slowly the silhouette of the book shelves on the first floor of the golden oak library appeared around her, alongside the other furniture of her bedroom. Looking down upon herself she noticed she was sitting in her bed, her blanket pulled up to her waist. After staring at her bedroom in shock for a while her expression then changed into a grumpy one. Turning her head she cast a dark glance at the book lying on her night table.

“I'll never read a sci-fi novel before going to bed again.”