Two Thousand Birthdays [cancelled]

by kmouse

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure
Length: 3108

When Pinkie discovers Twilights immortality, she realizes she'll need more party supplies

Twilight Sparkle, the newest princess of Equestria, is immortal.
Pinkie Pie, Equestria's best party pony, isn't going to let a little thing like death get in the way of her friendship.

[it's been nearly ten years, and I wanted to try this story from a different angle - so I'm doing a rewrite here ]

Published 2016-02-22 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-22 02:50:02 UTC

1. The infinity curse (but not really it's just a cool name)

A long time ago, in a Ponyville far far away, there was a pony named Pinkie Pie (that's me). I was sitting in my party planning room, looking through some of my old files (because I do that in my spare time). I had some of Twilight's files open, and I was just up to the one on her coronation when SUDDENLY my tail twitched three times and then my front left hoof started to move back and forth for a while. I'd almost never had this pattern before! The only times that I'd had it were when I first got my cutie mark, and just before meeting Twilight, so I knew my life was about to change, big time! Anywho, I was looking at Twilight's coronation, and I noticed some interesting stuff about it. First of all there was Twilight's height. Back then she was a pretty normal height, but we knew all about her extreme princess growth spurts by now. We (us “mane 6”) had noticed how much she was growing a couple of years after her princessification (I made that word up). But Twilight just kept growing and growing until she was really huge!

Oops probably not the best choice of words. Sorry Twilight.

But that was old news, which brings me to my second point of interest: the cheesecake cupcakes! They were (and still are to this day) my best batch ever! I'm basically drooling at the thought of them!

But that wasn't particularly new either, which brings me to my third (and final (and most important)) point: HER AGE!! (Dun dun DUUHH!)

Now, either she hadn't aged a day, or my name isn't Pinkamena Diane Pie. But, just to be sure I checked Twilight's most recent file and my birth certificate and sure enough she looked the same and my name IS Pinkamena Diane Pie. This was REALLY WORRYING because of the following question:

Is Twilight immortal? And if she's not where can I buy that rejuvenation cream???? I decided that my best plan would be to ask Princess Celestia.

"Yes," she said to my question of whether Twilight is immortal. "No," she said to if I could buy some of the cream. She had decided that it was best if we knew the truth when we found out.

That's where I found myself: worrying about all the birthdays we'll miss. Wondering if I should tell my friends about this. Wondering if I should tell Twilight about this.

I was more scared than I'd ever been.

There I was. Lying around still trying to comprehend the immensity (Twilight told me I should use big words more often) of this problem when I realized I was going nowhere. I needed to figure out what needed to be done and how to do it and I had all the planning tools I'd ever need. I pulled out my trusty party planning paper and set to work on something much bigger than any party I'd planned.

I knew that we'd all die before Twilight. That was pretty much a given. But I didn't want to leave Twilight all alone through those infinite years, so I had to find a way to stay around for that long. And preferably our other friends too. That would be tricky though. I could ask Celestia to make us all into alicorns. But I tried that and she said no. There's some potions that can make you live longer. But not by hundreds and thousands of years. And plus they're crazy expensive. Time travel would be cool, BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T HELP IF TWILIGHT'S GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!! It was getting late and I decided to sleep on the problem and see if I had any ideas in the morning.

As it turned out, I DID have an idea in the morning! I was just thinking, "Who would know what to do?" And then it TOTALLY came to me!

Twilight!

Well not our Twilight. Well, technically yeah, our Twilight, but I mean future Twilight. She would know what I did to keep her company! Now all I needed to know what how to get to the future…

So after a bit of searching I found an earth pony who had built himself a TIME MACHINE. Time Turner was his name. Brown coat. Brown spiky hair. Hourglass cutie mark. I asked him if he could take me to Twilight's 5000th birthday, it should be a big day for old Twi, so I decided that it would be a cool birthday present to see one of her old friends.

"Yeah, I can take you there. But as much as I would love to take people around for free, it’s expensive to build and run a time machine, so it'll be 1000 bits for that." Time Turner informed me.

"Yeah, I can spare that." I said. I'd have to use some of my emergency friends funds. But this IS an emergency, and it IS for a friend, so it would be worth it.

"Cool,” replied Turner. "Do you mind if I ask why you want to travel to such a specific date?"

I hadn't told him about Twilight because it's still a secret, so I told him, "I want to be there to see my 5000th birthday.”

"Oh, okay fair enough. When do you want to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning is good. That way I'll have time to pack some things and bake some treats for future people" - not naming names - "I hope they still like cupcakes."

"I'm sure they will. I'll see you then." Finished Turner.

I've got a lot of packing (and baking) to do for tomorrow.

That's how old Twilight was when she died. That might seem a bit wrong considering I just told you she was immortal, so I'll back up a bit.

Me and Turner left at around 9 o'clock 10 years AP (after princessification) and in what seemed like no time ended up in the year 4983 AP, just in time for Twilight's 5000th birthday. Turner stayed in the time machine to run some experiments while I went to look for Twilight. Boy was Ponyville different. Giant towers loomed overhead. Walls of metal and glass were everywhere. I didn't know where to even start looking for Twilight.

Actually, that's a lie. I asked one of the ponies walking past where I could find Twilight.

"HEY I'M FROM THE PAST DO YOU KNOW WHERE PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE IS!?"

She said she didn't know who this "Princess Twilight Sparkle" was.

This was SHOCKING! HOW COULD SHE NOT KNOW WHO ONE OF HER PRINCESSES WAS!!!

She said the name was familiar, so it might've been one of the old princesses. Then she pointed me to a library where I'd be able to find some more stuff.

"Thanks," I said. Then I gave her a cupcake. She said it was really good, so that was lucky.

Once I got to the library, I found a book on Twilight and just flicked open to a random page. Luckily it was an interesting page. I've copied a bit out for you because the librarian would've had my HEAD if I'd torn a page out.

"... which continued for many years. It finally ended on Twilight's 2065th birthday when she finally died with her oldest friends by her side. It's more than likely that her friend's used some sort of time travel to get there. That was the last time that her friends; Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Ponk were seen.”

Pinkie Ponk!? PINKIE PONK!!!? THEY REMEMBERED EVERYONE ELSE'S NAME BUT NOT MINE!!?

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

So there was Pinkie reading the book, completely unaware that I was hiding in the shadows around one of the bookcases. I guess hiding is the wrong word to use when you're a 12 meter long dragon. And my purple and green scales don't exactly blend in with the browns of the library. Although the colorful books do help a bit.

It's pretty incredible to see Pinkie again, not exactly unexpected - Twilight said she'd be here - but it's been several thousand years and she was one of my earliest friends.

After a fit of (silent) screaming (I've got to hand it to her, she does follow library rules) I decided it was time to meet her again. I'll head out from my hiding spot and hope for the best; Pinkie is usually pretty packed with dangerous surprises, and it's pretty scary to see a giant dragon heading towards you.

Well, my ringing ears are a testament to Pinkie's scream. She was absolutely terrified; you shouldn't seen the look on her face. Of course, once she calmed her down she apologized (or I assume she did, I couldn't hear yet) and then said what a shock it was too see me (again assumptions) and was surprised at how handsome I was (I'd imagine.)

Oh yeah, I totally forgot. Twilight said Pinkie would want an excerpt of this for her book, so I'd better introduce myself:

I'm Spike Sharptooth, ambassador of the dragons. Impressive title, huh?
I'm 12 meters long and have incredibly shiny green and purple scales, if I do say so myself. I got the name Sharptooth after I bit clean through a unicorns shield bubble. Mostly just because I was hungry and there was a gem inside. But it's still a cool story. I was Queen Twilight's assistant for most of her life. Of course, most pony buildings aren't really designed with a growing dragon in mind so that started to limit my usefulness after a while. Now that I'm the ambassador, it doesn't really matter since I'm mostly just in government buildings, which are designed with other species in mind. I was lucky that Pinkie came to the Great Equestrian Library, it's the only one where I can fit anywhere.

Talking of Pinkie, we're going to go back to the dragon embassy now, Twilight's left some stuff for her, and it's apparently quite important that she gets it.

The dragon embassy is a pretty impressive place, even for “the future”. It was made by both ponies and dragons, so you get the best of both worlds there. It's not as tall as some of the other buildings, but the obsidian and marble columns and the giant foyer can be an incredible sight. The wealth of the dragons can also be seen as we look around. Gold finishes on the many carvings, gemstones highlighting the walls, and many artifacts around the giant foyer. Now dragons are known for being a greedy bunch, but if a dragon were to "borrow” something, or have a quick “snack” on one of the gems, they'd be instantly exiled. So “snacks” are provided in the rooms.

Once we reached my room (well “floor” is more accurate. Being ambassador has its perks) I headed over to a box of things for Pinkie. Twilight was incredibly thorough in getting this stuff to her, not only were there copies of each of the notes, they were all stored in airtight containers so that the paper wouldn't deteriorate. There were three envelopes for Pinkie, and although they looked pretty plain, they were anything but. For in fact they contained… uh, things. Honestly I don't really know. I think one is of Twilight's castle but that's it.

After a bit of catch up (which was made slightly difficult since Pinkie doesn't have all her memories of her later life) she decided that she should do some “sightseeing of the future.” She hasn't left yet, but soon she's heading off to Novam Domum (the new capital) to look around a bit and visit Celestia and Luna, before heading back home. It was good seeing her, but I wasn't quite as dependent on Twilight's friends as she was. It's a bit sad knowing that a season of my life has passed away with everyone I grew up with at last gone, but I feel hope knowing one day, probably many years from now, I'll finally get to see everyone again.

Wow! It was super duper weird seeing Spike so big like that! Now I'm on my way to the capital, on this super-fast train. Apparently Canterot isn't the capital of Equestria anymore. It fell sometime during the Griffin war so now the capital is Novam Domum (which is old Griffish for something or other) which is on the edge of the old Griffin territory. Spike gave me a big history lesson, but I kinda got distracted looking at all the metal shapes so I missed most of it. These ponies can make anything out of metal! It's crazy! After a few minutes in the train I could already see the city over the plains. It's built with one side to a mountain, and one side to the plain, for extra protection or something. One one of our old trains the that trip would've taken like two hours for the same trip, but the entire trip only took 10 minutes!!!

Once I got to the capital, I asked about finding Celestia and Luna. I quickly discovered that they were doing day court in parliament so I headed over. They were in this huge building (by my standards, not theirs) and I got into the queue to speak to them. While I waited, I looked around at the marble columns and strange new inventions that the future had. There were these weird glass plates with moving images on them, I saw some ponies speaking into the wall, and their words coming up on another glass plate. I even saw an earth pony with a metal leg! CRAZY!

After a little bit I came into view of Celestia and Luna. Celestia’s hair was shorter than I remembered it, and Luna's coat was a bit darker, but that was all that had changed. 5000 years had barely touched them.

After a bit more waiting Celestia was finally close enough to see me. And when she did her jaw just dropped to the floor. She just started for a few moments before Luna noticed and followed her gaze. When she noticed she was just as flabbergasted as Celestia! There was this other alicorn there too, but she didn't seem to notice me.

After starting for ages, Celestia finally spoke. “Pinkie… ?”

“Hiya Celestia! Hi Luna!”

“... What are you doing here?” Celestia asked.

“Oh I was just visiting Twilight but since she's not here anymore I was visiting Spike and now I'm just checking out this new and fancy Equestria like how do you even builds buildings that high it doesn't make sense!”

Luna spoke at last, “I see you're exactly how I remember you.”

“Yeah, it hasn't really been that long for me.”

“And yet it still seems like an eternity ago that I last saw you, but it was only a couple thousand years. I say ‘only’ in jest.”

“Coolios! How's ruling Equestria going?”

“It's a fair much easier with Shimmering Dawn helping,” Responded Luna. “Shimmer, this is Pinkie Pie, one of Twilight's friends from before she became a princess.”

“I was her friend after she became a princess too, thank you very much,” I told Celestia crossly.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Pinkie Pie,” said Shimmering Dawn.

So, Shimmering was an alicorn with white and grey fur and this really cool hair full of pastel colors that seemed to change in the light. Apparently she was the great, great, great times 20 granddaughter of Sunset Shimmer, and she was named after Sunset too. Shimmer was the strongest magician in her line since then. Some say she was even stronger than Sunset!

Celestia invited me into into the back room with the other alicorns, before asking, “How did you get here?”

“I- ”

“You used that time machine, did you not?” interrupted Luna.

“Uuh, yeah. How did you know?”

“Have you used it before?”

“Um, no… ?”

“Well, in that case it’s probably best for me to say it was just intuition.”

“Ok then… “ I said, suspicious of Luna’s response.

“...*Grumble*” said my stomach.

“It seems the time travel has taken more of a toll on you than you realize,” chuckled Celestia. “Come and we’ll show you some of the new cuisines that have been thought up in the last 5000 years.”

Celestia guided us through the towering towers until we reached an area with much smaller buildings that were much more like what I’m used to from back in Ponyville (5000 years ago). That’s not to say they were small by any means though. Our restaurant was midway up the building, and being the princesses (and queen) we got seating with this amazing view through the center of the city.

When the waitress gave us the menu, I was unable to tell what anything was. Names like “Smone” and “Egg Lenko” jumped out at me, and I didn’t understand what any of these foods were! Luckily I had three ponies who LIVE in the future to help me pick!

Luna suggested getting me this thing that I can’t remember the name of that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever eaten! It was some sort of crunchy fried thing with this white creamy-soup-jelly to go with it. It was a savory dish but the creamy-soup-jelly had some sweet flavors too so it wasn’t too strong or anything. Then came my favorite part: Dessert.

Knowing that desserts are kinda my thing, Celestia ordered a huge selection of desserts. There were hundreds of tiny desserts and they were all for me. There were jellies and pastries and cold food and hot food and there was smooth and crunchy things and all in all there were enough things to fill even MY dessert stomach.

After a bit more taking it was time for me to get back to Turner, so I got back on the train to head back to Ponyville. By the time I got back to him, the sun was almost setting, so he dropped me off on the afternoon of the day I left so I wouldn't be jetlagged. I was exhausted from exploring the future all day, so I went and flopped straight onto my bed and I was asleep in moments.

Author's Note

Why yes, that is a super sneaky undertale reference!

This is my first ever fic, so feel free to point out spellling/grammar errors you find.
I have big plans for this, so stay tuned!
And thanks for reading it by the way :3