Slices of My Life

Distance to target, one hundred feet. I rounded the next corner and silently ascended the stairs, ensuring to only step on the outsides of the stairs to keep from potentially hitting a squeaker.

The darkness of the early morning did wonders for hiding my presence as my body was clad in the skintight black body armour from two days prior. Hitting the landing of the stairs, I took the next turn and crept towards the target’s door with a karambit firmly in my grasp.

Distance to target, thirty feet. I gently pushed on the door, trying my best to ensure that the hinges didn’t announce my presence. This target will not take kindly upon waking up.

Approaching the bed, I took a final look at the peacefully sleeping form and thought about how this was probably the only sleep she’d have gotten in awhile. With a shrug I stood up as quietly as I could and slid the karambit back into its sheath before producing a crystal enchanted with a very specific sound.

With a grin I pressed my thumb into the magical, squishy center and activated the spell. Instantly the sound of an explosive going off had just about the entire neighborhood awake, including a terrified Private Dash as she bolted upright and frantically began checking herself for injuries and the source of the explosion.

“You asshole!” Dash screamed as my grinning face became illuminated by moonlight. “What the hay was that for?” she demanded. My glare had her silence and change her mood almost instantly. “Sir.” she added through grit teeth.

“Your first lesson in stealth before we leave for Griffonia.” I remarked, pulling the covers from Dash’s body and tossing her her stealth suit. “Escape and evasion. You are responsible for an explosion having occurred in the area and must now flee the scene before the guards show up to arrest you for treason.” I explained as Dash’s mouth dropped and instantly began wriggling into the suit.

“What? But I never-” Dash began to protest but I held her short.

“Doesn’t matter. The guards have already been notified that an explosive was going to go off. They didn’t know where, when or who’d set it off. They’ve been ordered to detain the traitor and bring them to me for ‘Interrogation.’” I explained with a grin as Dash’s eyes went narrow and the zipper came up.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” she demanded as I began tying a black strip of fabric around her body to keep her wings restrained.

“Your orders are to escape capture and meet me at a predetermined location, marked on this map.” I explained, tossing a scrap of paper with a crappy drawing of Canterlot with and X marked just outside the city. “At which point we will officially begin our mission and go deal with the griffons.” I turned from the room and closed the door before taking off at a sprint towards the nearest window and vaulted through.

Landing in a roll I began traversing the rooftops as best I could while sticking to the shadows, already noticing the guards having been mobilized in this area as other civilians stood out in the streets wondering what was going on.

Exactly fifteen and a half minutes later I stood on the edge of town next to my bike and packed bags for the trip. I’d been forced to add side-saddles to the bike to carry Dash’s portions and as such she’d have to ride in front of me if I was to wear my backpack.

Luna had gifted me an ornate flask for good luck in our first official operation in the war, and so i’d filled it with the Dalmont and was now slowly sipping away at it as I waited. The guards had been told that i’d cover this particular exit from the city and not to disturb me until daylight where they’d find a letter explaining the current situation. As it was, Dash still only had at most an hour and a half until sunrise and she was nowhere in sight.

Another fifteen minutes later and Dash appeared on the horizon, the sun just threatening to finally poke out from beyond the landscape.

“Finally. Didn’t think you’d make it.” I announced, capping the flask and dropped it into a secured pouch on my person.

“Yeah,” Dash panted as she came to a halt. “Well you didn't-” another heaving breath. “Leave me much in the way of advice-” another breath. “Or my wings.”

“But yet you seem to have outsmarted the Guards and escaped your explosive entry.” I grinned as I pulled a letter from my back pocket and set it on a large rock with a smaller one on top to hold it down.

“What’s that?” Dash asked as she slurped on her canteen procured from the saddlebags on the bike.

“A letter pardoning your traitorous behavior and explaining what just happened.” I replied as I pulled the massive backpack onto my shoulders and swung my leg over the vehicle. “Now, let’s get a move on.” I ordered as Dash capped her canteen, dropped it in the bag then pretty much just sat down on the ground looking at me in confusion.

“So am I going to fly, run or…” Dash asked in confusion. I sighed and shook my head in reply.

“Ok, come here. I’m picking you up by the way.” I announced as Dash complied and approached the bike. Picking the mare up and sitting her down on the seat ahead of me, I had to make sure she understood to have her legs on either side of the bike rather than sit completely on the bike itself and potentially fall off.

“This is so weird.” Dash complained once she’d gotten accustomed to the seated position.

“Maybe but because of the backpack I can’t have you sit behind me and ride properly.” I replied as I started up the engine and began the slow roll forwards through the snow.

~~~

“Question: because of your rude awakening, when if at all, are we going to do breakfast?” Dash asked, looking up at me through her face shield that we’d stopped to acquire when the snow had started to really get blinding to her.

“I want to get around to Manehattan before we stop again if at all possible.” I replied, lowering my head towards Dash’s ear to be heard. this had the effect of her ear flicking my chin suddenly, making me jerk back upwards out of the way before another one could hit me.

“And how much farther to Manehattan?” Dash looked back up at me again.

“Probably another two hours at most.” I guessed as much anyways. With no official maps or distances we could still be half a day's drive away or another half hour.

“Aww, but that’s so much longer!” Dash complained, kicking her hooves ahead of me. If it wasn’t for the backwards knees, i’d be getting kicked in the shin about now.

“Well suck it up, soldier!” I ordered and accelerated. The rooster tail behind us grew slightly as I worked at keeping us going in a straight line though i’d admit it was getting harder to do so.

“Couldn’t you have designed any kind of transportation that didn’t freeze us to the core from the winter winds?” Dash complained again with a huff as the fog of her breath blew past her.

“Could have, yes but then I couldn’t fit it in it’s hidey-hole for storage.” I replied as my mind went back to my favorite truck from my past. “Maybe if the mountain had a proper sized garage built into it…” I added. Technically, if there wasn’t anything else in that cliff face I could probably try and mine it out myself and build the garage.

“Well, maybe think about fixing that so we don’t have to freeze our plots off out here!” Dash grumbled as I shook my head and slowed to a crawl. “What’re you doing? I thought you didn’t want to stop until Manehattan?”

“Yeah but i’m not in the proper state of mind to put up with your incessant complaining.” I replied, stopping altogether and letting the bike rest against the kickstand once it’d dug through the snow. “Besides, i’m also freezing my ass off.” I admitted, pulling off the backpack to go rooting around for a fire log and a fire starter set.

“So what kind of advanced human technology you got in there for warming us up? Gonna bring down a tiny collapsing star or something?” Dash smirked as I pulled out the wrapped up log and the flint stick.

“No, i’m going to set fire to this log and let it burn.” I replied slowly, cautiously to see what she was getting at. Unwrapping the log of it’s metallic plastic sheath, I more or less just had to give it a single sparkle from hitting the striker with my karambit to light the thing in a single movement.

“Wow, that was easy.” Dash noted as she dug herself down through the snow to curl up and get comfortable. I merely resorted to sitting on the backpack against the still warm bike, letting both the bike and the fire warm me in this winter wasteland. “So, Captain. Permission to speak freely?”

“Granted.” I nodded once, my arms folded over my chest and my eyes shut at I slowly warmed.

“How’re things between you and Sunset? I don’t know very much about you or her so i’d like to change that a bit, seeing as we’ll be putting our lives at risk for her.” Dash requested, the sound of her shifting around where she lay the only other thing besides her voice and the crackle of the fire.

“Thing’s are good. Been together for a couple weeks now and we’re really enjoying it. The dates had for the most part been on her side of the mirror up until recently.” I sighed and calmly explained.

“And how the sex?” Dash’s voice suggested she was grinning but my face remained still and cold.

“That is not an acceptable question, Private.” I informed the mare, remaining still and focusing on warming myself up.

“That just says that it’s either non-existent or not very good.” I cracked open an eye to meet Dash nose to nose. “So which is it?” I sighed in response.

“There isn’t any for a specific reason.” I admitted, making Dash giggle but remain in place. “I’m Gray-Asexual.”

“I have no idea what that means.” Dash’s grin turned into a blank look.

“Means that I don’t show sexual interest in anyone as often as other males. On average, and i’m just spit-ballin’ here, the human male will achieve an erection let's say approximately seven times a day. Of those seven times, he’ll actually be thinking about sex maybe four or five times.” I explained, one eye remaining shut while the other looked over Dash’s facial features.

“And what about you?” Dash’s blank look returned to a mischievous grin.

“For me it’s more like i’ll achieve a natural erection maybe three times a day. I’ll only ever actually be thinking of sex maybe once, if at all.” I explained and glared at Dash as her forehoof was where it shouldn’t be. “Last night was the first time in quite a few months that I was able to be intimate with anyone.”

“Uh huh, so you and Sunset did the deed then? You did the dirty dance, you broke the bed frame?” Dash smirked and refused to remove her hoof so I manually removed it myself.

“Yes, she and I had sex for the first time in our relationship. No, I won’t go any further in this conversation and if you attempt to assault me like that again, you’re walking home with your wings plucked.” I threatened and stood to kick snow onto the log, putting it out entirely. Dash’s flared wings snapped shut and lowered her head apologetically as I wrapped the remainder of the log in it’s plastic again and put everything way.

“Captain,” Dash began, still staring at the snow. “I wanna apologize.”

“Save it for when i’m not pissed off.” I ordered and slung my pack over my shoulders and boarded the vehicle. “Get on.”

“Yes, Captain.” Dash mumbled and allowed herself to be lifted onto the bike silently before we took off with snow flying around us.

~~~

“It’s coming! The Captain of the New Luna Armed Forces is coming, make a path!” a number of Guards demanded as Dash and I slowly rolled into Manehattan. The remainder of the drive from our conversation to here took about three and a half hours and it had quickly become apparent that neither Dash or I had eaten anything all morning.

“'Scuse me.” I requested, pulling up to a local. “Could you point us in the direction of a cafe or something?”

“Uh, that depends on what your looking to eat.” the mare replied, eyeing me over suspiciously. “I’m not sure if we have what you need.”

“Don’t worry about me, i’m just looking to feed Private Dash.” I replied, indicating to the mare still moping in front of me.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” Dash grumbled and I rolled my eyes. The mare seemed to shake her head in disbelief but pointed a hoof towards some produce stalls. With a nod of the head we accelerated forwards again, slowly enough so as not to run anypony over but quickly enough to avoid toppling over.

We came to a quick stop at a large produce stand and I pulled enough bits that the clerk was happy to toss a couple apples, some carrots and a head of lettuce into a saddle bag before we took off again.

~~~

“You know, I applaud your dedication to the Military life where you don’t eat anything for hours on end; but you’ll quickly learn to eat when you can otherwise you’ll have no strength when it counts.” I mumbled as we rode over the frozen lake between Manehattan and Trottingham. I was already working on an MRE that i’d pulled from a saddlebag and was currently mid-way through it.

“So now you’re talking to me?” Dash’s head shot up from resting on the gas tank of the bike to look back at me. “Can I apologize for my actions now?”

“Go for it. But while you’re doing that, you should eat.” I replied through a mouthful and regained some acceleration with a hand. The rest of the time it was in neutral and was merely gliding over the snow and ice, kept up with my balance which was in of itself a challenge.

“Is that an order, Captain?” Dash glanced back at me before turning her attention back to the lack of road ahead of us.

“Yes it is. Eat.” I ordered, pulling a carrot at random from the bag that they sat in and passed it up to Dash.

“Fine.” Dash grumbled as she began chewing on the vegetable for a moment before speaking up again. “I want to apologize for my inappropriate behavior towards you for back then. It was uncalled for and probably against a lot of Army rules that i’m not yet aware of. Not to mention that it was borderline traitorous to your relationship with Sunset Shimmer.”

“I accept your apology and I expect it to never happen again, is that clear?” I demanded with a smirk. Dash’s head rose back up and looked at me upside down for a moment of chewing on the remainder of the carrot before nodding and visibly cheering up.

“Sir, yes sir!” Dash saluted with a wing and sat up, leaned forwards and more or less took over the driving for me. “If you don’t mind?”

“Nope, i’m busy eating.” I shrugged back and took another bite of what was supposed to be some kind of chili. Honestly it wasn’t horrible.

“Yeah what’s in that anyways?” Dash asked as she fought to hold the accelerator in place with her hooves.

“I have no idea.” I replied with a chuckle and poking at the meal but took another spoonful regardless. “It’s got some sort of meat in it though so I don’t think you’d want it.”

“No arguments here.” Dash chuckled and accelerated further. I was forced to reach around her and shift up, surprising her a bit when my hand appeared next to her hoof. “Easy there, sir. We don’t want another incident do we?”

“Considering I was just shifting into a higher gear I don’t see the alarm.” I replied, sitting back to continue eating. “Just keep us going straight and at this speed. If you get to low in RPM: let go of the accelerator, hold this lever and I’ll shift down.” I explained, pointing out the RPM gauge and clutch.

“Why can’t I shift it?” Dash asked hopefully.

“Your legs can’t reach the plate where my foot is.” I explained as Dash’s head went down to look at my left foot and noticed the shifter plate on which it sat.

“Oh, yeah that would make it difficult.” Dash sighed in defeat as she turned back to the task of driving, her mane flipping around in the air ahead of me. “How’re you doing with all the snow back there?”

“I’m fine.” I replied truthfully. Frankly speaking, Dash was the only one who was actually getting snow in her shielded face; I was sat up straight and was just out of the snow being kicked up by the vehicle.

“Must be nice being so tall.” Dash gave a bemused grin as I finished my meal and crumpled the remains up to stuff into another bag for later disposal.

“Probably. Frankly I can’t make any comparisons since i’m so used to being human.” I shrugged and leaned forwards to take the handlebars control from Dash as she sat back, nestled in my body. Accelerating further, I shifted up into fifth and let the wind rip at my face as Trottingham harbours appeared on the horizon.

~~~

We completely avoided Trottingham and continued across the frozen lake, reaching the far shores at dusk. Under the advancing cover of darkness we walked the bike into the forest in silence, ears out for any sign of life besides us.

“Why am I out in front?” Dash whispered back as she trudged through the snow ahead of me.

“Because whether or not you’re aware of it, you’re always hearing stuff around you. You’re in front so I can watch your ears. If they turn a specific direction, then I know there’s potentially something that way to avoid.” I explained as we came up to a mountain side. Pulling up next to the cliff face the two of us stopped so I could pull a map that Luna had given me.

“What’re you looking for that my ears can’t find?” Dash asked, appearing over my shoulder to look at the drawings alongside me.

“A cave or something to hide the bike in.” I replied, trying to find any sort of cavernous indicator on the map.

“There’s one.”

“There’s one.” Dash pointed out to a small shadowed C along the edge of the mountain line. It looked like it was still another hour’s walk from here, but hopefully it would be deep enough and relatively uninhabited to suffice.

“Good eye.” I mumbled, rolling the map back up and stuffing it into the backpack before shouldering everything to resume pushing the bike. “So, why is Equestria snowed over but as soon as you hit the forest it’s suddenly spring?” I asked as I noted the lack of snow or leaves.

“No idea. Pegasi regulate weather in Equestria but I have no idea what happens out here where there are no pegasi. Especially now with the war.” Dash shrugged as she trotted alongside me with absolutely no stealth whatsoever. “Could be that weather out here is like weather in Everfree Forest. Just has a mind of it’s own.”

“So instead of being regulated by magic, it’s regulated by science and physics?” I concluded, earning another shrug from Dash as her ears twitched right. “Hold!” I whispered and dropped down into a crouch, Dash dropping to her belly as the bike came down with me.

Reaching over my shoulder, I extracted the shotgun from its sling and ensured it was loaded. Slowly sweeping over the area down the iron sights, I let the bike lay where it may as I slowly advanced forwards with Dash watching my back.

“Heh, did you hear? Those Equestrian wimps declared war on us! It’ll be easy pickings and hearty meals as soon as any of those mini-horses show up!” A female voice in the distance sneered as she and whoever she was talking with grew nearer. With a single hand motion Dash and I flattened ourselves to the ground as close to a group of bushes as we could get.

With the dying light enveloping the forest and mountain sides, my Dragon’s Eye proved invaluable as my right eyes began to highlight the area in blue, as well as a couple gemstones hiding just under the rock surfaces nearby. While I could see the approaching Griffons, I could only hope for two things: that my Dragon’s Eye wasn’t physically glowing and threatening to give me away and that griffon’s eyes weren’t capable of night vision.

“But what about that other thing they had? The one that got Jafar’s group?” a male asked, sounding concerned.

“Psh, that Simian? They taste like chicken!” the female grinned like she’d been served a five star dish or something. “Only difference is that ape will be easier to cook if he’s already shaved.”

“But I heard that it had knowledge of highly advanced technology! Technology that would put ours to shame!” the male quipped, still anxious.

“Bah! No creature on Equus has technology more advanced than us! The Zebra’s are too busy making rhymes and potions, the Minotaurs are too secluded and the dragon’s are too concerned with hoarding their treasures. Those Equestrian punks don’t even have fingers, let alone opposable thumbs! What could they possibly come up with that would rival our new firearms?”

“Firearms? This sounds interesting.”

“Yeah, I suppose. Still, where did those plans for the new guns come from anyways?” the male sighed in steadily increasing content. Frankly, I wanted to know this as well.

“Who knows. Apparently one of the feather-brains part of the away team had a run in with that Simian and got a good look at his weaponry. Too bad he didn’t know we’re so great at reverse engineering things with just a look.” The female shrugged as the two passed us by. “They’ll never see us coming!” she added with a malicious cackling.

As soon as the group was out of Dash’s earshot and the coast was deemed clear, Dash and I reconvened to sort out or next plan of action.

“They have guns!” Dash whispered as soon as we were back together again. “How did they get guns?” she demanded as we continued to push the bike towards safety, though with a faster pace this time.

“Apparently the one we released got enough of a look at my shotgun that he figured out a way to recreate it. No idea if black powder or gunpowder was already a thing for these big bastards though.” I whispered back “But now we have another target to hit. If we can cripple their offensive capabilities along with their chain of command, it’ll definitely throw a wrench into things.”

“What if they’ve already mass-produced enough for their army?” Dash was becoming increasingly worried by the minute. “What if they already have enough weapons to invade Equestria and slaughter us all?”

“Then i’m going to have to get creative with my own technologies.” I replied with a grim but firm look as we finally turned into the cave. “We leave everything non-essential here and we continue to Griffonstone on foot.” I ordered as I rested the bike against the wall.

Reaching into the backpack, I extracted the remainder of my and Dash’s stealth suits and we suited up, disappearing into the darkness even more than we already had. Loading up my pouches with the chromium thermite explosives, the Thermal imaging equipment which had a bit of a range finder installed, as well as a pair of extra magazines for my new silenced twin P226s -courtesy of Princess Luna of course- which sat on my hips.

“What if we’re already too late and they’re mounting an offensive?” Dash asked from the darkness as we exited the cave and began the trek upwards towards the mountains that loomed over the Capital.

“Then we’ll have to hope that the Guards can defend Equestria long enough for us to cut off the supply lines and get back to mount a proper defensive. Now stop talking.” I ordered as we bolted across the road, keeping to shadows.

Ducking into the vegetation again we arced our travel through lighter brush away from the paths towards the city but remained going in relatively the same direction thanks to my Dragon’s Eye. We not-so-soon came to the mountain that we’d scale and use for observations breathing heavily.

“We have to scale that?” Dash complained between heavy breaths as she looked up the mountain face.

“Correct. And I have to do it freestyle.” I replied already working on ascending the rocky facets. “You can fly.”

“Oh, right.” Dash chuckled nervously and spread her wings open wide. As I thought, since her wings weren’t covered the bright pastel blue of her fur almost acted as a reflective mirror in the darkness as the moon poked out from the clouds.

“Just make sure that you’re not seen.” I grunted as I reached for the next semi-stable stone jutting from the climbing surface.

“I think we’re good.” Dash announced, examining the locale around her for any sign of patrols or other flying creatures. “I can’t hear or see anything.”

“Good.” I replied as I crawled up onto a small ledge a couple hundred feet off the ground. Only another thousand feet to go.