One of the walls in a certain room of the Rainbow Castle has a series of horizontal black marks on the wall. Each one is slightly higher than the one preceding it by a small margin, usually less than an inch. These marks are a passage of time, demonstrating the growth of a young dragon, month by month, inch by inch.
Right now, Spike lay on his bed, staring at the highest mark on the wall, illuminated by the sunlight streaming in from the window. Two feet, 9.73 inches. He knew that because Twilight measured it herself, like she had done once a month, every month for the past two years. He was growing: this was a fact of his biology, and there was nothing that anyone could do about it, not even Twilight Sparkle.
Spike's thought traveled from his growing body to the bed that he lay in, larger than the old basket that he had spent most of his earlier years in, but somehow, less comfortable. It had been a surprise to him when Twilight had granted his request to have his own room with his own bed, but as she herself admitted, he was a "big boy" now, and he deserved to be able to grow on his own, without her.
Without her. The thought hung in his mind like the unpleasant odor of one of Twilight's experiments gone wrong. Considering that he was still a young child, one who had been with Twilight since almost the moment of his birth—a birth that had been caused by her—the prospect of a life without her was daunting to say the least. Twilight Sparkle was the rock that he had based his life upon, the star that he orbited around. Without her, what was he?
He looked down at his scaly hands, at the sharp claws at the tips of his fingers. Of course, he knew what he was. He was a dragon. A scaly, pony-eating monster of legend, who would grow and grow, and never stop growing. Soon inches would become feet, then miles...
He shook his head, closing his eyes. Best not to think about that. Right now, he had more important things to think about.
"Fifteen quills?"
"Check!" Spike declared, marking off the list.
"Ten spare rolls of parchment?" Twilight asked, checking the inventory of her desk in her castle study.
"Check!"
"Eight spare bottles of ink?"
"Check!" Spike ticked off the last item with a smile. "That's everything on the list."
"Thanks, Spike," Twilight said, packing away the listed items. The two little words always had a great effect on the little dragon, a simple but profound acknowledgment, words of praise and gratitude that he never tired of hearing, nor she tired of giving.
"All right, one last thing," Twilight said, signing a long slip of parchment and rolling it up. "Could you please send this to Princess Celestia?"
"Sure thing!" Taking the scroll gently in his claws, Spike took a breath, summoning the magical heat within him that was the icon of his species, and let out a little puff of flame that sent the scroll to it's destination. "Can I go see Rarity now? She asked me to help her find some gems," he requested eagerly as the last wisps of smoke curled away.
Twilight giggled. "Yes, Romeo. Just be back before sunset."
"All right!" Spike cheered, hurrying out the door.
Twilight pulled a thick tome on botanic magic from a shelf with her magic and set it down in front of her, but her eyes strayed to the door, as if she was still watching the young dragon that had just vacated the castle. Two feet, 9.73 inches. So far removed from the little hatchling that had come out of the egg, the baby that she had brought into the world. Since then, he had grown, and never stopped growing, and there was nothing that she or anypony could do about it. It wasn't due to greed, but rather his being a living being. And his mind grew along with his body, like the budding sapling that reaches away from the ground that spawned it and up towards the sky.
And with growth had inevitably come change. It had taken her a while to learn to fall asleep without the familiar sounds of a baby dragon's snores from the basket at the foot of her bed, but as he had pointed out, he deserved to have his own room now. He was a big boy now, having outgrown the basket and earned his room, his own place to grow on his own. It was what was right. It was what he deserved.
Even if he turns out like...those other dragons? she thought. Like he was the last time he grew big?
She shook off the thoughts like dust. That would never happen. She knew Spike, had raised him to be kind and helpful. He would never grow to be like one of those monsters. She would make sure of it...for however long she could.
But even still, Twilight wished every day with all her might that there was some way to keep Spike small and at her side.
Spike knocked confidently at the door to the Carousel Boutique and the door was opened to reveal the most beautiful pair of blue eyes in all the land. "Spike, you came!" Rarity declared with delight.
"Of course I did," Spike said, puffing out his chest proudly. "I'll always be ready to help you, Rarity."
Rarity stifled a giggle at his attempt of a masculine display and duly rewarded his affectations with a gentle pat on his head. The surprisingly soft spines atop his head yielded beneath her touch, and he blushed adorably. "It's always good to have a friend to rely on," she said, gathering up the prepared wagon and materials in her magic. "Now, come on. I've got a large order from Sapphire Shores, so we've got a lot of diamonds to collect."
"Right behind you," Spike declared, eagerly following his lady.
"So, how has Twilight been?" Rarity asked as they began the journey towards the rocky fields where the best jewels were to be found.
"Studying as hard as always," Spike chuckled, dragging the wagon behind him. "Yesterday morning, she hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, so when I came down, she was putting her cereal in her mug and her coffee in her bowl!"
The two friends laughed at the image. The hour-long journey passed quickly, the time between them spent chatting amiably. Finally, they reached the gem fields, where standing stones and sand stretched out to the horizon, hiding precious stones beneath.
Rarity set to work immediately, casting out her crystal-locating spell. Immediately, she was rewarded by a powerful glow from the ground a few feet away. Spike pounced immediately, using his claws to tear into the ground to reach the gems. Within seconds, he had retrieved two sapphires, an emerald, and a mature ruby. These he placed into the wagon.
"Wonderful!" Rarity cheered, already deciding that she'd set the ruby aside as a treat for Spike. She turned and cast another spell. The ground beneath a thick bush glowed brightly. Spike hurried over and crouched, preparing to dig. Suddenly, the bush in front of him rustled loudly. Spike paused, looking up. Through a gap in the bushes, a pair of malevolent yellow eyes glared down at him.
Sensing danger, Rarity grabbed Spike in her magic and pulled him away from the bush, placing him behind her. "Who's there?" she called out.
A four-legged shape leapt out of the bush, tackling Rarity to the ground. It was a Diamond Dog, but it was not one of the dogs that had abducted Rarity; this one was much larger than any of the would-be abductors, and his body was adorned in scratches and scars. His yellow eyes shone evilly and his wide grin exposed his rotting, crooked teeth.
"Little pony," he hissed, his stinking breath overwhelming Rarity's senses. "Pretty little pony." He leaned down and licked Rarity, his tongue drawing a line from her neck down her body.
"Get off of me, you ruffian!" Rarity screeched, attempting to shove the dog off of her.
"Let her go!" Spike cried, leaping onto the dog's back and digging into him with his claws. He bit down as hard as he could on the dog's shoulder. His teeth, hard enough to crush diamonds, pierced the animal's shoulder and his mouth was filled with the taste of blood.
Roaring in pain and fury, the dog seized Spike by the head and yanked him off, flinging him into a standing rock. Spike smashed into the rock and slid down to the ground, dazed.
"Spikey-wikey!" Rarity cried out in horror.
"No escape, pretty pony," the Diamond Dog sneered, seizing Rarity and pinning her down. Chuckling darkly, he began to lower himself down towards her.
"No!" Rarity shrieked, trying and failing to shove her attacker off her, struggling beneath the crushing, suffocating weight. "Help! Help, somepony!"
Her voice roused Spike from his unconsciousness. Sitting up, he saw Rarity laying on the ground, desperately struggling beneath the heavy, crushing weight on top of her. Instantly, every thought was expelled from his mind; he forgot that he was a baby, forgot that he was facing a beast much larger than him. All he knew was that he must protect his lady.
"I said," he declared in a voice much larger than himself, standing up and glaring at the dog. "LET HER GO!"
Distracted by the intrusion, the dog looked up, glaring at Spike. Immediately, Rarity drew her legs up to her chest and kicked out, knocking the dog back and quickly crawling away.
As soon as Rarity was out of the way, an instinct deep in Spike's mind whispered, Now. Without thinking, he took in a deep breath, summoning the heat deep within his core, and exhaled powerfully. With a tremendous roar, a jet of flames burst from his mouth: not the magical flame that he used to send letters to the Princesses, but a stream of intense, concentrated heat powerful enough to melt steel.
The Diamond Dog had no time to react, no chance of dodging. The flames engulfed him, simultaneously igniting every inch of his body. He flailed desperately, his limbs jerking as he tried to fight the flames; his horrific, distorted screams of agony and terror echoed through the fields. Within seconds, he collapsed to the ground, reduced to a burnt husk of a creature.
Rarity stared at the still-flaming body, panting and trembling. The horrendous scent of burnt flesh filled her nostrils, and a wave of nausea rushed through her, partly from the smell and partly from horror. Fighting the urge to vomit, she turned to look at Spike. For a moment, she did not recognize him; the look of vicious, animalistic fury painted across his face was completely alien to the sweet little boy that she knew, and a chill ran through her body. "Spike...?" she called out softly.
Slowly, Spike's teeth unclenched and the fire in his eyes dimmed as he calmed down. His face melted into an expression of horror as his eyes fixed on the burning corpse. Slowly, he backed away, panting.
"Spike..." Rarity called out again, not knowing what she could say, but knowing that she had to do something, anything.
Spike stumbled over a rock, falling onto his back, his eyes still on the corpse. A scream tore itself from his throat: a loud, terrible screech of fear and revulsion that echoed throughout the fields. He screamed again and again, tears leaking from his wide, terrified eyes.
"Spike!" Rarity cried, hurrying over to him and gently taking him in her forelegs, trying to hug his hot, scaly body to her chest.
"No! Get away!" Spike screamed, struggling out of her grasp. Stumbling to his feet, he began to run away.
"Spike! Come back!" Rarity shouted, trying to run after him. But Spike, fueled by terror, was running faster than she had ever seen him move, and she was weakened by the shock of her ordeal, her thoughts slowed by panic, her vision blurred by tears. Spike was already disappearing out of sight, heading in the direction of the Everfree Forest, leaving Rarity far behind.
Rarity stood in place, staring after Spike. She let out a small whine of despair; what was she going to do now?
Twilight! She had to go Twilight!
Turning, she hurried back towards Ponyville, the gems and the corpse left behind.
Twilight glanced up at the ticking clock at the wall. Spike had been gone for a little over two hours now. She flipped a page of her book. The sound of the paper rustling echoed through the room, and she was suddenly struck by how large and silent the castle was. Would this be what it would be like when Spike grew up and moved out?
She sighed despondently, attempting to console herself with the fact that that day was still a long way off...she hoped. With an effort, she attempted to return to her botanical studies.
Unfortunately, her reading was interrupted by the crashing of the study door bursting open. "Twilight!" Rarity screamed, rushing into the study and seizing Twilight with an iron grip. "It's Spike! Something terrible has happened!"
Twilight's heart dropped and her panic rose. From being friends with Rarity for several years now, she had learned the difference between hysterical acting and true hysteria. What she was witnessing was true hysteria.
"Rarity, calm down," she ordered her friend; she hoped that trying to calm Rarity would help her deal with her own panic. Rarity took several deep breaths, wiping the tears and running mascara from her eyes. "Now, tell me what happened."
"A Diamond Dog attacked us," Rarity explained, her voice still trembling. "He...he tried to..." She let out a soft whimper, closing her eyes. "I fought back and Spike...Spike killed it!"
"What?!" Twilight cried, her throat tightening.
"And he...he ran away into the Everfree Forest!" Rarity concluded. "Twilight, we have to go and find him!"
"Right," Twilight breathed, struggling to keep her focus. "Come on!" The two mares hurried out of the castle at top speed.
Spike slowly trudged through the shadows of the Everfree Forest. His chest rose and fell with heavy breath, and his eyes itched from tears. The wind through the rustling branches and leaves chilled his bones and he could hear the caws and screeches of a dozen different animals surrounded him, taunting him with every step. He should have been terrified, but he felt no emotion.
Spike passed a small pond. His throat burning with thirst, he knelt at the water's edge and extended his tongue, lapping at the icy water. Pausing, he looked down at his own reflection in the dark water. His green, reptilian eyes glowed, revealing the vertical pupils. His scaly body shimmered, making him seem larger than he was. His open mouth revealed the sharp fangs, the needle-like points glimmering.
The distant howling of a timberwolf reached his ears. The sound was capable of sending shivers down the spines of the bravest ponies, but Spike barely reacted. The howl was familiar to him, almost...comforting.
This was his place now. He had been a fool to deny it, but the truth was plain to see now: he was a dragon. Ergo, he was a monster. He must be isolated, separated from the civilised world, where he couldn't hurt anypony else.
He heard a soft chattering beside him and looked up. A squirrel running up the overgrown path nearby had paused to look at him. The little animal's bushy tail twitched in curiousity; its little black eyes blinked up at the dragon.
Did it not know? Did it not realize what he was? Why did it not fear him, run away in terror?
Spike considered the small creature, and suddenly, his stomach rumbled from hunger.
An urge, the same instinct that had spoken to him in the fields, pushed him forward towards the squirrel. His tongue slithered out of his mouth and drew itself across his lips; he could taste the meat and blood already. His claws tensed, ready to rip and tear into flesh.
Kill and eat, his instincts whispered. Kill and eat. It is our way, the way of nature.
He stepped forward, raising a claw to seize his meal, to take what was his. The squirrel let out a little squeak, flinching away from him. The sound of fright halted Spike in his tracks. For a moment, instead of the squirrel, he was staring down at Rarity, who was sprawled across the ground, trembling from fright.
He staggered back from the image, and Rarity vanished, replaced by the fleeing squirrel. He lowered his claw and dropped to the ground, fresh tears leaking from his eyes.
"Spike!" a distant voice called. "Spike!"
He recognized the voice, and knew he must get away. Spotting a tall, moss-ridden tree, Spike scrambled up into the upper branches, his claws easily gripping the bark. He settled into one of the larger branches, hoping that it would provide him enough cover to shield him from any observers below.
The bushes beneath him rustled, and she burst into the open. Her white coat was stained with mud and her royal purple mane and tail were in disarray, but she looked no less beautiful. Her blue eyes shone like stars, piercing the dark as she desperately searched for him.
"Spike!" Rarity called out again, her voice desperate. "Answer me, please!"
Go away, Spike silently begged. Just go away. Forget about me.
But Rarity, as if sensing that he was somehow nearby, paused, slowly turning in place. "Spike!"
Please, please, Rarity, just go away. A small sob struggled out of Spike's throat. The little noise was enough to betray him; Rarity looked up and saw him.
"Spike! Thank goodness!"
Spike tried to retreat, but Rarity enveloped him in the warm touch of her azure magic, gently bringing him down to earth. "Let me go!" he cried, struggling out of her grasp as she pulled him to her, hugging the little drake to her chest. "Twilight! I found him!" Rarity called.
"Let go!" Spike protested, still trying to fight back.
"Spike, don't you ever scare me like that again!" Rarity sobbed, her embrace tightening to the point where it threatened to crush the breath from his lungs.
Scared her. Of course he had scared her. He was a monster. He had to get away from her! Perhaps he could use his claws or his teeth, cut her foreleg to try to force her to let go; but a wave of nausea rushed body at the thought, and his struggles weakened.
"Spike!" another, more familiar voice cried, and Twilight appeared, racing towards the pair.
Spike turned towards her, and the quiet voice within him spoke again. He knew he must heed the given order. Taking in a deep breath, he summoned the flames within him; then he breathed out, sending a jet of bright flame. Twilight was caught in the fire; her scream echoed through the dark forest as her body ignited, and the scent of her burning flesh filled Spike's nostrils...
"Oh, Spike!" Twilight sobbed, hugging him even more tightly than Rarity. Her warm, soft coat enveloped him; the scent of lavender filled his nostrils. The sensation broke through his resistance, and he broke down completely. Burying his face into Twilight's chest, Spike sobbed, his entire body shaking with renewed tears.
"Shh, shhh," Twilight whispered, gently stroking his head. "I'm here, Spike. We're here. It's okay."
After a few minutes, Spike's sobs died away and he fell silent, shivering within the embrace of the two mares.
"Come on, Spike," Twilight said, lifting him up in her magic and placing him across her back. "Let's go home."
"Ponyville isn't my home anymore," Spike protested weakly.
"Why not, dear?" Rarity asked, walking alongside Twilight as she carried Spike out of Forest.
"Because I'm a monster," Spike said, raising his hands and baring his claws. "Look at me."
Rarity and Twilight both turned to look at him. Their eyes settled on the needle-like teeth, the scaly body, the razor-sharp claws and the reptilian eyes, but all their hearts saw was a small, scared boy.
"Spike, why would you ever say such a thing?" Rarity asked.
"Because I killed that dog!" Spike burst out, closing his eyes as if trying to blind himself from the truth. "I burnt him alive! Isn't that what monsters do?"
"Spike, you acted on instinct," Twilight started to say. "You didn't—"
Her lecture was halted by Rarity's hoof on her shoulder. Rarity slowly shook her head and turned to Spike.
"Spike, when you acted, you did so to protect me," she told Spike, using her magic to gently lift his chin so that he had to look at her. She held her gaze steadily; none of the glowing smiles and fluttering eyelashes that she usually lavished him with, because that was not what he needed now. "I know that you feel awful for killing him, and I do not blame you in the slightest; killing is an awful thing. But it does not make you a monster."
"Yes, it does!" Spike cried out. "I'm a dragon! I'm a monster! That's all I am and all I'll ever be!"
"No, you are not," Rarity said firmly, her eyes narrowing. "What we are on the outside does not make us monsters; it is what we are on the inside. And on the inside, you are one of the most charming, kindest, and bravest gentlemen I have ever met; the mere fact that you acted to protect me and felt remorse for taking the dog's life proves it." She smiled at him; not one of the dazzling, eyelash-fluttering smiles that she usually gave him, but rather a gentle, loving, supportive smile. "You are a dragon; but you are not a monster. You are a knight...my knight in shining scales."
Spike stared up at the dazzling lady before him, her melodic words echoing in his mind. Slowly, he was able to reflect her smile.
"I know you're scared now," Twilight said, turning to face Spike. "But I promise you, we will help you get through this."
Spike sniffled and wrapped his arms around Twilight's neck, squeezing gently as he nuzzled into her mane. "Thank you, Twilight, Rarity."
"Of course, Spike," Twilight smiled, turning and nuzzling his cheek.
The two mares carried Spike out of the Everfree Forest, back into the warmth and safety of Ponyville, where a warm evening wind greeted them like an old friend. By the time they reached the castle, Spike had fallen asleep on Twilight's shoulders, gently snoring. Giggling, Twilight carried him up to his room, lifted him off her shoulders and laid him down onto his mattress. Rarity used her magic to pull the covers over his sleeping form, gently tucking him in. Without so much as a self-conscious glance at Twilight, she leaned in and kissed Spike on the forehead. He smiled in his sleep.
"Sleep well, Spikey-boo," Rarity whispered. As they turned to leave, both mares caught a glimpse of the marks on the wall. Their eyes traveled up to the top-most mark. Two feet, 9.73 inches.
The little dragon would grow up; this was inevitable. There was nothing either mare or any pony could do about this fact. Nor could they change his claws for hooves and his scales for a coat. But even if they could have, they wouldn't have.
Spike would not grow up to be like those other dragons. He would not be a monster.
He would be loved.
Author's Note
This story has been sitting on my back burner for over a year now, and after I finished Trifle Not With Monsters, I decided to finish this up.
Inspired by and partly modeled after the work of the great but unfortunately long-absent The Descendant, this story explores the darker side of Spike's psyche and character; the battle between his pony upbringing and his animal self, and how it affects the two most important mares in his life. I realize that I am not nearly the word crafter that The Descendant is, but I hope that you enjoyed this novella of mine.
